My Masculinity Is a Little Love Poem to Myself”: Trans*Masculine College Students’ Conceptualizations of Masculinities
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Loyola University Chicago Loyola eCommons Dissertations Theses and Dissertations 2016 “My Masculinity Is a Little Love Poem to Myself”: Trans*masculine College Students’ Conceptualizations of Masculinities T.j. Jourian Loyola University Chicago Follow this and additional works at: https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc_diss Part of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Studies Commons Recommended Citation Jourian, T.j., "“My Masculinity Is a Little Love Poem to Myself”: Trans*masculine College Students’ Conceptualizations of Masculinities" (2016). Dissertations. 2590. https://ecommons.luc.edu/luc_diss/2590 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Theses and Dissertations at Loyola eCommons. It has been accepted for inclusion in Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Loyola eCommons. For more information, please contact [email protected]. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License. Copyright © 2016 T.j. Jourian LOYOLA UNIVERSITY CHICAGO “MY MASCULINITY IS A LITTLE LOVE POEM TO MYSELF”: TRANS*MASCULINE COLLEGE STUDENTS’ CONCEPTUALIZATIONS OF MASCULINITIES A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE GRADUATE SCHOOL IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY PROGRAM IN HIGHER EDUCATION BY T.J. JOURIAN CHICAGO, IL MAY 2016 Copyright by T.J. Jourian, 2016 All rights reserved. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS The multitude of families, people, and spaces that have variously entered my life have all, in small and big ways, pitched into the development and successful completion of this dissertation. I can only hope that I have done their contributions justice, whether they will ever come across it or not, that they would be touched to know of the impact they have had in my life, in my lenses, and in my works. First and foremost, I must acknowledge my mother, Marilou, and my sister, Talin, for their unconditional love and support, their reminders to look back even as I look forward, their sacrifices, and their exemplifications of caring for others. I must extend that acknowledgement and gratitude to my brother-in-law, Raffi, whose ability to treat me like a brother has made it a little easier to exist as a trans*man among my Armenian and Middle Eastern communities. I have to thank the 19 students that so generously entrusted me with their voices and their stories. Their vulnerability and willingness to think beyond what they have been presented was inspirational and moved me to work through barriers and doubts in order to finish. My brilliant auditors, Dr. Z Nicolazzo and soon-to-be-Dr. Symone Simmons, along with a handful of other readers, made sure I stayed true to my participants’ trust, never letting me give up. I was also emboldened by my committee’s enthusiastic reception of my intentions, as well as their push to see value and significance in my work in ways I could not have conceptualized without their input. Thank you Dr. Kai M. Green, Dr. Leanne Kallemeyn, and especially my chair, Dr. Bridget Kelly. I must iii acknowledge Dr. Kelly for positioning herself as an accomplice and advocate for me from the second I applied to the Higher Education program at Loyola University Chicago. She has been a mentor, a friend, a colleague, and a teacher, and given me a model to aspire to within the harsh and oppressive world of academia. In many ways, the other faculty in the program have done much of the same, thus I wish to thank Dr. OiYan Poon, Dr. John Dugan, and Dr. Mark Engberg for the ways they model colleagueship, community, mentorship, and resistance. The brotherhood, wisdom, laughter, and resilience of the “fab 5,” the cohort/family of men of color that I have had the privilege of being on this PhD journey with, has been a lifeline. Having said that, I do not know if I would have been in a position to trust that lifeline, if it were not for another chosen family. The Brown Boi Project and the many bois I have met and built with have shown me that love can and should be at the center of how we embody masculinity and how we connect with each other as masculine individuals. That love has also been present and soul-giving among my trans* kin and possibility models, including Z and Symone, as well as Dr. D-L Stewart, finn schneider, JT Turner, Kara Devaney, Angelica Ross, Jen Richards, Melvin Whitehead, Adam Jauber, Blue Roth, James Welch, Janet Mock, Vic Tai, Van Bailey, Pat Manuel, Kay Ulanday Barrett, Reina Gossett, Precious Davis, Myles Brady, Kye Allums, Asher Kolieboi, Saben Littlefield, Tiq Milan, and so many others. You all never cease to demonstrate that trans* means brilliant, beautiful, daring, resilient, and creative. Another family that has been with me through this journey is the Saturday writing crew. Thank you to Shannon Howes, Sara Furr, Ben Correia, Symone, Z, Megan iv Segoshi, Hiram Ramirez, and the staff at the Chicago Grind for keeping me grinding. Gratitude also goes out to Virginia and Angela Ibrahim-Olin, as well as Dr. Kijua Sanders-McMurtry, for being my lifelong accomplices, for extending kindness, listening ears, financial support, laughter, and open hearts. I would also not know where I would be and how I would be able to do this without the love and encouragement of a newer accomplice in my life, Emily Ramsey-North. Emily, thank you for seeing, loving, consoling, challenging, and saving me. Finally, I would like to acknowledge the Loyola Graduate School, the Davis-Putter Scholarship Fund, NASPA Region IV-East, and NASPA GLBT KC for the funds to conduct and complete this dissertation. v This dissertation is dedicated to the resisters and their/our accomplices. TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ....................................................................................................................................... iii LIST OF TABLES ........................................................................................................................................................ x ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................................................................. xi CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION .............................................................................................................................. 1 Overview of the Dissertation ........................................................................................................................... 1 Terminology ........................................................................................................................................................... 2 Problem Statement .............................................................................................................................................. 5 Significance ............................................................................................................................................................. 8 Organization of Dissertation ......................................................................................................................... 13 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW ............................................................................................................... 15 Conceptual Framework................................................................................................................................... 15 The Social and Institutional Context .................................................................................................... 16 Framing the Context ................................................................................................................................... 21 Framed Personally ...................................................................................................................................... 25 Masculinities in Higher Education ............................................................................................................. 26 Hegemonic Masculinity ............................................................................................................................. 26 Influencers and Shapers of Masculinity .............................................................................................. 28 Consequences: Gender Role Conflict and Its Impact ..................................................................... 34 Diverse and Divergent Masculinities ................................................................................................... 40 Conclusions .................................................................................................................................................... 46 Trans* Students in Higher Education ....................................................................................................... 48 Genderism in Higher Education ............................................................................................................. 49 The Campus Climate for Trans* Students .......................................................................................... 51 Campus policies and protocols ......................................................................................................... 52 Objective climate ............................................................................................................................ 53 Perceived climate ..........................................................................................................................