MH3 Song Book V3
MUNICH HASH HOUSE HARRIERS SONG BOOK
International Hash Hymn...... 2 The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do...... 8 Hash Hymn (with gestures) ...... 2 A Soldier I Will Be ...... 9 This is your Hashing song ...... 2 Would You Like a Finger?...... 9 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4,...... 2 Whip It Out at the Ball Game ...... 9 Hymn ...... 2 The Clap...... 9 Why Are We Waiting ...... 2 Syphilis...... 9 Why Was He Born So Beautiful? ...... 2 Masturbation ...... 9 They Say He's a Joy to His Mother ...... 2 Ugly ...... 10 What a Wank...... 3 Put Your Hands Against The Wall...... 10 Get a Life...... 3 A Frenchman Went to the Lavatory ...... 10 Bullshit...... 3 All Australians Are Born Illegitimate ...... 10 Meet the Hashers ...... 3 Yogi Bear Song ...... 10 Here's to Brother (Sister) Hasher ...... 3 The Old Brown Cow ...... 11 You are my Hashshit ...... 3 There Was a Little Bird...... 11 The Hash House Harriers...... 3 When It's Hog-Calling Time...... 11 He's the Meanest ...... 3 Old McDonald ...... 11 Now You've Finally Shut Up...... 4 Woodpecker Song...... 11 He's a Hasher, He's True Blue ...... 4 Fuck a Duck ...... 11 Traditional Down-Down Song...... 4 Bestiality...... 11 You’re Stupid...... 4 Dough, The Stuff That Buys Me Beer ...... 12 Shiggy Shaggy ...... 4 Small Beer...... 12 Shitty Trail ...... 4 Drink...... 12 The Hashers Go Running One by One ...... 4 The Beer’s Prayer ...... 12 Ole Zooma, Zooma, Zooma! (Zulu Warrior) ...... 4 Give Me That Good Old Vino ...... 13 Fuck Off...... 5 Amazing Hash...... 13 Monday Is a Wanking Day ...... 5 Jesus Can't Go Hashing...... 13 Where, Oh Where, Were You Last Week? ...... 5 Happy Birthday...... 14 The Wild Hasher...... 5 Rule Britannia...... 14 He Oughta Be Publicly Pissed On...... 5 My Favourite Things...... 14 He’s Alright ...... 5 I Kissed a Hasher (Katy Perry)...... 14 You’re #1 ...... 5 All Summer Long (Kid Rock)...... 14 Put your Left Leg ...... 5 In München steht ein Hashers' House ...... 14 Put your Left Tit ...... 5 CHRISTMAS HASH SONGS ...... i Love Me Tender ...... 6 And So This Is Hashmas...... i Head!...... 6 Give It a Blow ...... i We Met Your Sister ...... 6 I've Got a Bone for Christmas ...... i Hold It in Your Hand, Mrs. Murphy ...... 6 I saw Mommy Fucking Santa Claus...... i Her Right Tit Hangs Down...... 6 Silent Night...... i His One Skin Hangs Down...... 6 Jingle Balls ...... ii Twenty Toes...... 6 White Hashmas...... ii The Nipples on Her Tits...... 6 Shitty Bells ...... ii Incest Time in Texas ...... 6 XXXXXX the RA...... ii My Body Lies Over the Ocean ...... 6 If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit...... 6 If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit...... 6 Get it Up ...... 6 Hot Vagina...... 7 Gang Bang ...... 7 S & M Man...... 7 Sept 2008 1
Gesture question mark motion in air, point to someone, point over shoulder, mark letter International Hash Hymn "B" in air, four fingers, point to eye, squat as defecating (Tune of “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”) Comin' for to carry me home Swing low, sweet chariot, Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, Coming for to carry me home, point to self, make arch over head with arms Swing low, sweet chariot, Tell all my friends I'm comin' too Coming for to carry me home. Gesture cup hands around mouth as if shouting, sweeping motion with arms, point to self, I looked over Jordan and what did I see, fornication motion with hands, point to self, simulated masturbation, hold up two fingers Coming for to carry me home, Comin' for to carry me home A band of angels coming after me, Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, Coming for to carry me home. point to self, make arch over head with arms
If you get there before I do, Repeat: Coming for to carry me home, with reverence (humming only), silently (motions only), double time (quickly) Tell all my friends that I'm coming too, Coming for to carry me home. This is your Hashing song This is your Hashing song, Hash Hymn It isn’t very long….. (with gestures) Drink it down, down, down… A series of gestures/movements accompany the lyrics 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4,... Swing low sweet chariot 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Gesture swinging motion with arms, kiss fingers, snapping reins On your head! Comin' for to carry me home Hymn Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, Hymn, hymn point to self, make arch over head with arms Fuck him Swing low sweet chariot Gesture swinging motion with arms, kiss fingers, snapping reins Why Are We Waiting Why are we waiting Comin' for to carry me home We could be masturbating Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, O why are we waiting point to self, make arch over head with arms So fucking long? I looked over Jordan and what did I see (Why why why why why why why) Why are we waiting Gesture point to eye shade eyes with hand, sweeping motion with arm, jump shot ala We could be fornicating Michael Jordan, question mark motion in air, point to eye, shade eye with hand O why are we waiting Comin' for to carry me home O why are we waiting Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, O why are we waiting point to self, make arch over head with arms So fucking long? A band of angels coming after me Why Was He Born So Beautiful? Gesture play "air" trombone, place thumbs in armpits and flap arms, masturbate, point Why was he born so beautiful over shoulder, point to self Why was he born at all? He's no fucking use to anyone Comin' for to carry me home He's no fucking use at all Gesture simulated masturbation, hold up four fingers, hold up two fingers, cradle arms, point to self, make arch over head with arms They Say He's a Joy to His Mother If you get there before I do They say he's a joy to his mother But he's a pain in the asshole to me 2
What a Wank You'll never know boys What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank How much we love them What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank Please don't take my hashshit away What a wank, what a wank, what a wank wank wank What a wank, what a wank wank wank The other day boys, While we were hashing Get a Life We saw our GM Get a life, get a life, get a life life life Masturbate Get a life, get a life, get a life life life We saw two others Get a life, get a life, get a life life life AutoHashing Get a life, get a life life life And then the beer truck was late Bullshit The Hash House Harriers Bullshit, bullshit, its sounds like bullshit (Tune of “Addams Family”- snapping fingers) To me, to me, Their drinking is compulsive and Bullshit, bullshit, its sounds like bullshit to me! Their running is convulsive Meet the Hashers They’re morally repulsive The Hash House Harriers (Flintstones tune) Chorus: (Snap fingers twice with words Down Down) Hashers, meet the hashers We're the biggest drunks in history Da da da da, Down Down From the Hash of Munich Da da da da, Down Down We are leaders in debauchery Da da da daa, da da da daa Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years Da da da da, Down Down Watch us, as we down a lot of beers Down down, down down down down, Their flatulence is rude and Down down down down down down down down Their genitals protrude when Down down down down down They're running in the nude in Down down down down down down The Hash House Harriers Chorus Here's to Brother (Sister) Hasher They're always shiggy tracking, Here's to Brother Hasher From constantly bushwacking, Brother hasher, brother hasher Intelligence they're lacking Here's to Brother Hasher The Hash House harriers May he chug-a-lug He's happy, he's jolly Down Down Down He's fucked up, by golly Here's to Brother Hasher He's the Meanest May he chug-a-lug He's the meanest So drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker He sucks the horse's penis Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker He's the meanest Here's to Brother Hasher He's the horse's ass May he chug-a-lug Ever since he found it (hey!) All he does is pound it (hey!) You are my Hashshit He's the meanest (Tune of “You Are My Sunshine”) He's the horse's ass You are my hashshit, So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug My loving hashshit Drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug You make me happy When skies are gray
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Now You've Finally Shut Up Shiggy Shaggy Male version Shiggy Shaggy, Shiggy Shaggy Oi, Oi, Oi Now you've finally shut up Shiggy Shaggy, Shiggy Shaggy You sorry son of a bitch Oi, Oi, Oi, So drink your beer, get out of here You make my asshole itch Shitty Trail Female version (Tune of “Mickey Mouse Club”) Now you've finally shut up S-H-I-T-T-Y You've finally quit your bitchin' T-R-A-I-L So drink your beer, get out of here Shitty trail (It sucked!) And get back in the kitchen Shitty trail (Totally fucked!) Other version I'd rather sit here Thank God she finally shut up And drink my beer She’s always fuckin’ bitchin’ Than run your shitty trail Now drink your beer, get out of here The Hashers Go Running One by One And get back in the kitchen! (Tune of “The Ants go marching”) He's a Hasher, He's True Blue The Hashers go running one by one, On-On! On-On! He's a hasher, he's true blue The Hashers go running one by one, On-On! On-On! He's a hasher, through and through The Hashers go running one by one, He's a pisspot, so they say The little one stops to shoot his cum. He'll never go to heaven 'cause he'll go the other way And they all go running down to the ground Other version: To get out of the shite, boom, boom, boom And he'll never get to heaven in a long long day Two by Two - have a screw Traditional Down-Down Song Three by Three - take a pee Here's to (insert name here) Four by Four - slam a whore He's true blue, Five by Five - go muff dive He's a Hasher, Six by Six - pick up tricks Through and through, Seven by Seven - pinch eleven He's a pisspot, Eight by Eight - masturbate So they say, Nine by Nine - do a line Tried to go to heaven, Ten by Ten - get laid again But he went the other way, Drink it down, down, down... Ole Zooma, Zooma, Zooma! (Zulu Warrior) Ole Zooma, zooma zooma You’re Stupid Ole Zooma, zooma, hey! You’re stupid, you’re stupid, Drink it doooown, you mighty warrior You’re so damn dumb; Drink it down, you chief, chief, chief Even with your mama there Other version: You’re just a shot of cum. Olé zooma zooma zooma Drink it down, down, down… Olé zooma zooma hey Other version: Olé zooma zooma zooma You're stupid, you're stupid Olé zooma zooma hey You're really fucking dumb Drink it down you Zulu warrior If it wasn't for your mother Drink it down you Zulu chief, You'd be a stain of cum! Drink it down you Zulu warrior, Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief!
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Fuck Off Chorus: Fuck off, fuck off And it’s no nay never (right up your ass!) Fuck off, fuck off No nay never no more Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off Will I play the wild hasher Fuck off, fuck off No never no more Fuck off, fuck off Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off I went to a whorehouse where often I’d been Fuck off, fuck off And told the madame what a plight I was in Fuck off, fuck off She said she was sorry, but what could she say Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off In that state of health I could get me no lay Monday Is a Wanking Day Chorus Leader: Today is Monday! I took out my pecker, such source of delight All: Today is Monday! For many a girl during many a night Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion) But the landlady said: You’ve just run out of luck All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion) I won’t let you get any girl for a f*&@ Chorus: Chorus Leader: Is everybody happy? I’ll return to my parents, confess what I’ve done All: You bet your ass we are! And ask them to pardon the prodigal son All: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming) And if they forgive me as oft times before Da da dut da da, da da dut da da I swear I’ll never be wanking no more Chorus Leader: Today is Tuesday! All: Today is Tuesday! He Oughta Be Publicly Pissed On Leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion) He oughta be publicly pissed on All: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion) He oughta be publicly shot (bang bang) Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion) He oughta be tied to a urinal All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion) And left there to fester and rot Chorus Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers) He’s Alright Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute) He’s alright, he’s alright Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions, cheering, happiness) He’s got a little dick but he’s alright Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions, cheering, happiness) Sunday is a hashing day (low key, almost quiet) You’re #1 (Use hand with fingers to count down) Where, Oh Where, Were You Last Week? You’re not number 5. Where, oh where, were you last week? Not number 4, 3, or 2. Why did you make us hash all alone But number 1 (use middle finger) You fat lazy bastard, you weren't even here So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer Put your Left Leg Down, down, drink it all down Put your left leg over my shoulder; Drink it all down, drink all of that beer Put your right leg over my shoulder. You fat lazy bastard, you weren't even here Mmumm, mmuuhhmff. So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer Drink it down, down, down… The Wild Hasher Put your Left Tit I’ve been a wild hasher for many a year Put your left tit over my shoulder; And spent all my money chasing women and beer Put your right tit over my shoulder. But now I’m returning with an itch and a sore Brrrrr, brrrr (shaking head left to right vigorously) I swear I will never be wanking no more Drink it down, down, down… 5
Love Me Tender The Nipples on Her Tits Love me tender Oh, the nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb Love me sweet And the wiggle in her ass would make a dead man cum Wrap your lips around my meat She's a cool motherfucker Hold me close and watch me grin She's a real cocksucker As my cum runs down, down, down, down... She's a harriette. Head! Incest Time in Texas Head! (To “Yellow Rose of Texas”) Who said head? I'll take some of that, When it's incest time in Texas, So I did, and it was good When there's no cunt to be found, And there was much rejoicing. Your mother's in the bathroom, We fucked for hours With her panties halfway down, Uprooting trees & bushes & flowers, No time for masturbation, We fucked like Vikings No time to beat your meat, With horns on our HEAD! When it's incest time in Texas, HEAD! Who said head? Mother-fucking can't be beat! We Met Your Sister My Body Lies Over the Ocean We met your sister last night My body lies over the ocean She was tearing up the town… My body lies over the sea She was missing teeth, and her pussy reeked My father laid over my mother But we still went down, down, down... And that's how they created me Hold It in Your Hand, Mrs. Murphy If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit Hold it in your hand, Mrs. Murphy If your girlfriend tastes like shit, roll her over. (other version: turn her over) It only weighs a quarter of a pound If your girlfriend tastes like shit roll her over. It's got hair round its neck like a turkey If your girlfriend tastes like shit, then its probably not her clit. And it spits when you jerk it up and down, down, down, down... If your girlfriend tastes like shit roll her over. Drink it down, down, down… Her Right Tit Hangs Down Her right tit hangs down to her belly If Your Boyfriend Tastes Like Shit Her left tit hangs down to her knee If your boyfriend tastes like shit, roll him over If her right tit hung down to her left tit If your boyfriend tastes like shit, roll him over She'd get lots more willie from me If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he's really pushing it If your boyfriend tastes like shit roll him over His One Skin Hangs Down Drink it down, down, down,down... His one skin hangs down to his two skin His two skin hangs down to his three Get it Up His three skin hangs down to his foreskin (Tune of “Rawhide”) His foreskin hangs down to his knees Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do, Roll back, roll back You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around, Roll back his foreskin for him, for him Hit the spot, make me hot, Roll back, roll back I will scream out loud. Roll back his foreskin for him Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do, Twenty Toes You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around, There's a game called 20 toes, Suck my toes, insert your hose, It's played around the town, Make my juices flow. Girls play with ten toes up, The boys with ten toes down, down, down, down... 6
Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do, Anna – Anna need to have another gang bang You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around, Digger – Digger up again and let’s have another gang bang When I am done and I have cum, We'll start another round. S & M Man Chorus: Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do, You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around. The S & M Man The S & M Man Hot Vagina The S & M Man because he mixes it with love Hot vagina for your breakfast, And makes the hurt feel good Hot vagina for your lunch, The hurt feel good Hot vagina for your dinner, Just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch. Who can take a hammer It's so speedy and nutritious, Wave it overhead Bite-size and ready to eat, Slam it on his pecker So take a tip, go eat your mom; Till he wishes he were dead (Chorus) Hot vagina can't be beat. Who can take a bicycle Gang Bang Take away the seat Put his girlfriend on it Chorus: Push her down a bumpy street We’re going to have a gang bang, oh yes we should Cause a gang bang makes me feel so good Who can take a chainsaw When I was younger and in my prime Rev it up on high I used to gang bang all the time Shove it up her arse But now I’m older and going grey, I only gang bang twice a day Just to hear her scream and sigh
Knock, knock Who can take a chainsaw Who’s there? Cut the bitch in two Ivor Fuck the bottom half Ivor who? And throw the other part to you Ivor kinda a feeling that I’d like to have a gang bang Oh yes I would … Who will run through barbed wire Ripping up his flesh Anita Turn right around Anito who? And repeat the bloody mess Anita to have another gang bang Who can take a lightbulb Brenda – Brenda over the table and let’s have another gang bang Shove it up her arse Turner – Turner over and let’s have another gang bang Fuck her up the rear Tijuana – Tijuana bring your mother to the gang bang Till she’s shitting chunks of glass Betty – Betty’ll have a sore dick when we’ve had another gang bang Orange – Orange you glad we’re going to have another gang bang Who can take just two bricks Aspen – Aspen too much time waiting for another gang bang Take one in each hand Europa – Europa to the bedpost and we’ll have another gang bang Bang them on his balls Police – PPPPLease can we have another gang bang Like the cymbals in a band Lena – Lena up aganst the wall and we’ll have another gang bang Sharon – Sharon share alike if we’re going to have a gang bang Who wears pants with zippers Shirley – Shirley we’re going to have another gang bang And no underwear Eisenhower – Eisenhower late for the gang bang Then pulls them up and down Gladiator – Gladiator out before he had another gang bang And rips out his pubic hair Kenya – Kenya tell me when we’re going to have another gang bang 7
Who can take a bottle And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Shove up it up your arse Hit it with a hammer One black one, one white one, and one with a little shite on And line your arse with glass And one with a little light on, to show us the way
Who can take your scrotum She's not a great looker, but everyone took 'er Stick it with a pin And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Hang on a bunch of weights Till it drags down to your shins You'd need a coal miner to find her vagina And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Who would take a condom Put pepper in the ring If she were my daughter I'd have them cut shorter Use it on the wife And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Cause she twitches when it stings I've touched it, I've licked it, it tastes just like brisket Who can take two ice picks And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Stick one in each ear Ride her like a Harley She lived by the waterfront, with the waves lapping up and down her cunt While he fucks her up the rear And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Who would take your kids out She married an Italian, who was hung like a fucking stallion Out on a picnic binge And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Put them on the fire And watch the buggers singe She divorced the Italian, and married the stallion And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Who can take a glass rod Shove it up his prick I folded her lips back, and there found a six-pack Put in on a table And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees And smash it with a brick It was always hit-or-miss, whether I could find her clitoris Who would take a nun And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Bend her across a pew Fuck her from behind I reached into her thing, and there found my class ring Till she wishes she was jew And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees
Who could take a puppy I've licked it, I've felt it, it was just like velvet Grab it by the ears And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Fuck it up the arse Till it sheds those puppy tears She says that she's not a whore, but she bangs like a shithouse door And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Who would take a baby Throw it on the bed The aroma it lingers, it smells like fish fingers Turn the kid around And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees And fuck the soft spot on its head She stayed in Seattle, and went down on cattle The Hairs of Her Dickey Di-Do And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Also known to purists as "The Mayor of Bayswater"; see other start below. She met a Hash House Harrier, who fucked her but wouldn't marry her Chorus: And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees And the hairs (and the hairs) And the hairs (and the hairs) It'd take a brontosaurus to eat her clitoris And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees 8
Would You Like a Finger? It'd take a bloody wrecker to extract your pecker Oh would - you like - a finger in your ear And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Or would - you like - a finger in your rear
It's like going through a forest, to find her clitoris (Beer held over head, twirling) And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees No sir, not fucking likely Not fucking likely Her love thought he'd seduced her, but turned out he'd only goosed her. Not fucking like-ly And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Hey! Drink, drink, drink, drink.... 2nd verse - my finger in your rear? On her first trip through Melbourne, she strangled her first-born 3rd verse - my finger in your beer? And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Whip It Out at the Ball Game She lives on a cattle ranch, and shits like a bloody avalanche (To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game") And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd If she were my daughter, I'd have her cut it much shorter Dip it in peanuts and cracker jack And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees If you like you can give it a whack
'Cause it's beat your meat at the ball game On a trip through Vladivostock, she sampled a bit of horse cock If you don't come it's a shame And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees For it's one, two, you're covered in goo
At the old ball game She sits on a mountain, and pisses like a bloody fountain And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees The Clap He's got a dose of the clap on his lips I flicked it, I licked it, I even drop- kicked it He's got a dose of the clap on his lips And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees He's got a dose of the clap on his lips
And all it does is go drip, drip, drip. I fucked her, I sucked her, I even loose-rucked her Drink it down, down, down… And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Syphilis I touched it, I poked it, I even rolled and smoked it And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees (Tune of “Yesterday”) Syphilis It takes a hasher from Halve Mein to fuck her a dozen times It all started with a little kiss And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees Now I find it hard to take a piss Other start: Since I contracted Syphilis Leprosy The Mayor of Bayswater, he had a lovely daughter Body parts are falling off of me And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees I'm not half the man I used to be A Soldier I Will Be Since I contracted Leprosy Asshole, asshole Masturbation A soldier I will be Last night I stayed at home and masturbated To piss, to piss It felt so good, I knew it would Two pistols on my knee Last night I stayed at home and masturbated For cunt, for cunt It felt so nice, I did it twice For country and my queen Asshole asshole asshole asshole You should have seen me on the short strokes A soldier I will be It felt so grand, I used my hand Yes, you should have seen me on the long strokes It felt so neat, I used my feet 9
Yogi Bear Song Smash it, bash it, throw it on the floor Wrap it around the bed post, stick it in the door (Tune of “Camptown Races”) Some people say that sexual intercourse is something really grand There is a bear in Yellowstone, But me, I’d rather stay at home and work it off by hand Yogi, Yogi, There is a bear in Yellowstone, Ugly Yogi, Yogi Bear. Face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck yo mama. Chorus: Your mama, your mama says you’re ugly. U-G-L-Y, you don’t have an alibi; Yogi, Yogi Bear, You’re ugly, you’re ugly. Your mama says yo ugly. Yogi, Yogi Bear, D-A-D-D-Y, you don’t even know that guy. There is a bear in Yellowstone, You’re ugly, you’re ugly. Your daddy says yo ugly. Yogi, Yogi Bear. Drink it down, down, down… Other verses: Put Your Hands Against The Wall Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo Put your hands against the wall, Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi Here we cum, balls and all, Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi Bye, bye virgin…. Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly Drink it down, down, down… Cyndi wears crotchless undies, Teddy, Teddy A Frenchman Went to the Lavatory Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar Cyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, Pregnant A Frenchman went to the lavatory Suzi likes it up the rear, Dirty, Dirty For him to have a jolly good shit, shit, shit Suzi's boyfriend has no teeth, Gummi, Gummi He pulled his pants and trousers down Suzi's snatch it smells like cheese, Camem, Camem So that he could revel in it Suzi she has great big tits, More than, More than (I can bear) But when he reached for the paper Suzi gets four bits an hour, Jingle, Jingle He saw that someone had been there before Cyndi's tampon has no string, Cotton, Cotton
Yogi didn't use a condom, Daddy, Daddy Ou est le papier? Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala Ou est le papier? Yogi has a twelve-inch cock, Cindy's a lucky bear Monsieur, monsieur Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear Je fait manure Boo-Boo likes it up the butt, Yogi's a lucky bear Ou est le papier? Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, wanker, wanker All Australians Are Born Illegitimate Yogi didn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown All Australians are born illegitimate Yogi uses Afro-Sheen, Black, Black Born illegitimate, born illegitimate Yogi got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy All Australians are born illegitimate Yogi lights Kuwaiti farts, Saddam, Saddam They’re bastards through and through Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker Yogi also likes young boys, Poofter, Poofter They ain’t got no birth certificates Yogi has a cheesy dick, Camem, Camem Birth certificates, birth certificates Yogi’s dick is long and green, Cucum, Cucum They ain’t got no birth certificates Yogi has an enemy, Ranger, Ranger (Smith) They’re bastards through and through Yogi uses condoms, Gummi, Gummi Ranger pokes holes in them, Bastard, Bastard (Smith) They don’t know who their daddy is Yogi’s into politics, Tony, Tony Who their daddy is, who their daddy is Song ender: They don’t know who their daddy is Yogi he has HIV, Dying, Dying... They’re bastards through and through This song’s gone on far too long, more than, more than…
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The Old Brown Cow Old McDonald had a farm, The old brown cow went thfpppt! up against the wall Ei-I-Ei-I-O Thfpppt! up against the wall And on this farm he had a whale Thfpppt! up against the wall (Take a mouthful of beer and spray the crowd!) The old brown cow went thfpppt! up against the wall And now it's covered with shit, shit, shit Woodpecker Song (Tune of “Dixie”) There Was a Little Bird I put my finger in the woodpecker's hole, There was a little bird And the woodpecker said, "God bless my soul, No bigger than a turd Take it out, take it out, take it out, Sitting on a telephone pole REMOVE IT!" He ruffled up his neck And shit about a speck (or peck) I removed my finger from the woodpecker's hole, And puckered up his little asshole And the woodpecker said, "God bless my soul, Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole Put it back, put it back, put it back, He puckered up his little asshole REPLACE IT!" When It's Hog-Calling Time Other verses: When it's hog-calling time in Nebraska Replaced/turn it round/REVOLVE IT When it's hog-calling time in Nebraska Revolved/turn it back/REVERSE IT! When it's hog-calling time in Nebraska Reversed/in and out/RECIPROCATE IT! Then it's hog-calling time in Nebraska Reciprocated/slow it down/RETARD IT! Retarded/once again/REPEAT IT! Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga Repeated/let it go/RELEASE IT! Boom chug-a-lugga-boom Released/pull it out/RETRACT IT! Boom chug-a-lugga-lugga, boom chug-a-lugga-lugga Retracted/take a whiff/REVOLTING! Boom chug-a-lugga-boom (King Rongjon's air guitar solo) Fuck a Duck Fuck a duck, a female duck Other verses: Screw a baby kangaroo When it's sheep-fucking time in New Zealand Fingerbang an orangutang When it's sheep-fucking time in New Zealand Let an elephant do you When it's sheep-fucking time in New Zealand Feel the penis of an eel Then it's sheep-fucking time in New Zealand Whack the asshole of a yak Masturbate with a gnu When it's cow-punching time in Texas And that brings us back to When it's cow-punching time in Texas Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck When it's cow-punching time in Texas Then it's cow-punching time in Texas Bestiality Chorus Old McDonald Bestiality’s best, boys, Old McDonald had a farm, Bestiality’s best Ei-I-Ei-I-O Shag a wallaby (other version: Fuck a wallaby) And on this farm he had a ram Bestiality’s best boys Ei-I-Ei-I-O Bestiality’s best With a ram ram here (with pelvic thrusts) And a ram ram there, Make a llama a mama, boys Here a ram, there a ram, Make a llama a mama – BESTIALITY Everywhere a ram ram, Make a llama a mama, boys Old McDonald had a farm Make a llama a mama, cause... Ei-I-Ei-I-Oooo 11
Verses: Rub the thigh of a fly Stick your dork in a stork Shoot your load in a toad Make an eel squeal Shove your willy up a filly Rub your beaver on a retriever Sixty nine with a swine Rub your box on a fox Up the ass of a bass Rub your clitty on a kitty Up the hole of a mole Rub your cunt on and elephunt Grind your mound on a hound Dough, The Stuff That Buys Me Beer Drip your juice on a moose Dough, the stuff that buys me beer Give your milk to an elk Ray, the guy who brings me beer Cunnilingo with a dingo Me, the guy who drinks the beer Fool with the tool of a mule Far, a long way to the beer Be a queer with a deer So, I'll have another beer Be a rotter with an otter La(ff), and have another beer Be very pleasant with a pheasant Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer Bring a flea to its knees And that brings us back to Chuck your sperm in a worm D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Come from behind with a hind Small Beer Do an illegal with an eagle Do it funky with a monkey (Tune of “Small World”) Down the throat of a goat It’s a small beer after all, Drink the pee of a bee It’s a small beer after all, Drop some goo in a shrew It’s a small beer after all, Ejaculate in a snake It’s a small small beer... drink it down down Get a suck from a duck Get in deep with a sheep Drink Get it out for a trout (Tune of “Sing!”) Get under the tail of a snail Get your release in a fleece Drink Give a lickin’ to a chicken Drink the beer Go and defile a crocodile Belch out loud Be a pimp for a shrimp Belch out strong Have a deer from the rear Drink of good times not bad Have a frig with a pig Drink of plenty not one. Have a rape with an ape Drink Have a shag with a stag Drink the beer In the Bahamas with some llamas Down it quick to make it through the song In the dark with a shark Don't worry that it's not good enough In the ear of a deer For anyone else to down By the litre with a cheetah Just drink In the lake with a drake Drink the beer Have a screw with a kudu Burp, burp, burp, burp, burp, etc... In the sack with a yak Intercourse with a horse The Beer’s Prayer Lick the clit of a nit Our lager Make it limp with a chimp Which art in barrels Make some porn with a unicorn Hallowed be thy drink Stick your log in a dog Thy will be drunk (or: I will be drunk) Part the hair of a mare At home as it is in the pub Put it though a gnu Give us this day our foamy head Put your noodle in a poodle And forgive us our spillages 12
As we forgive them who spill against us I like the Pimms – it help with the quims And lead us not into incarceration I like the cider – it helps me to ride her But deliver us from hangovers I like the vodka – it helps me to knob her For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager I like the bitter – it help me to fit her Forever and ever Amazing Hash Give Me That Good Old Vino Amazing hash I like my gin - it helps me get in, How sweet the trail But give me that good old vino. That saved a DFL like me I like my vino, I once was lost It gives me a stand supremo. But now I’m found Chorus: The On-On I now see
Aye, yi-yi-yi, Just two more blocks Si, si, senora, And I’ll be in My seester Belinda she pissed out the winder, The beer is waiting for me And filled my brand new sombrero. And when I’m there I’ll drink my share I like my Shiner - nothing could be finer, Till they get rid of me. But give me my... Jesus Can't Go Hashing Other verses: Jesus can't go hashing cause he’s hanging on the cross I like my brandy - it makes me feel randy Jesus can't go hashing cause he's hanging on the cross I like my Anker - it helps me wank-a Jesus can't go hashing cause he's hanging on the cross I like my stout - it helps me get out Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves, Jesus Saves I like my martini - it's good for the weenie I like my rum - it helps me come -cause the flour falls thru his hands I like my coke-a - it helps me poke-a -cause he wears shiggy on his head I like my beer - it helps gonorrhea -cause the jew won't pay 5 bucks I like my wine - it stiffens the vine -cause he's stuck behind a rock I like my ports - it helps me shoot quarts -cause he has holes in his hands I like my claret - it stiffens the carrot -cause he only has 12 friends I like my liquor - it makes me come quicker -cause he walks on water I like my schnapps - it helps cure the clap -cause he feels a little cross I like my Foster - it helps me accost her -cause his dad laid all the trails I like my Sam Adams - it gives me orgasms -cause a boulder is in his way I don't like my Schlitz - it gives me the shits -cause his dad solves all the checks I don't like my Bud - it softens the pud -cause the Motherfucker is dead I don't like my Zima - it gives me eczema -cause he turns the beer to wine I don't like my Coors - it tastes like old sewers -cause he is only wearing sandles I like my cider - it helps me fit inside her -cause he gave up beer for Lent I like my lager - it helps my knob harder -cause he is hitting on Magdalene I like my whisky - it makes me feel frisky -cause he turns flour into bread I don't like light beer - it makes me queer I like my champers - it helps fill my pampers -Jesus can't sell hash shit cause he trashed the temple store I like my Jack Daniels - it helps me fuck spaniels -Harriets love Jesus cause he got a lot of wood I like my Mateus - it makes women loose -Harriets love Jesus cause he's hung like this (hold arms wide) I like champagne – I can do it again -All the girls love Jesus cause he always comes again I like the brew – it helps me to screw -Jesus can't lay falsies cause he leaves a trail of blood I like the sherry – it ripens the cherry -Moses can't go hashing cause he's got a lot of rules I like the wine – it helps my knob shine 13
Happy Birthday Happy birthday, fuck you Happy birthday, fuck you Happy birthday, fuck you Happy birthday, fuck you Rule Britannia Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam Five Chinese crackers up your arsehole BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the seas Britons never, never, never shit green peas! My Favourite Things Hash marks on sidewalks and beer drinking floozies, Situps and pushups and cuts that are oozing Boobcheck and cockcheck and stops where you sing These are a few of my favorite things
Trails that are shitty and loaded with shiggy Mud-ridden, sloppy and all full of twiggy Beer that is plenty and has a nice zing These are a few of my favourite things.
Drinking from plungers and choking on backwash Never pretending that we are at all posh Mooning and wearing the craziest things These are the reasons that I go hashing. I Kissed a Hasher (Katy Perry) I kissed a Hasher and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a Hasher just try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight Drink it down down down... All Summer Long (Kid Rock) It was 1989 my thoughts were of drinking all night long Caught somewhere between a boy and man She was seventeen and she was far from in between It was hashing time in good old Munich Drink it down down down... In München steht ein Hashers' House In München steht ein Hashers' House On On, g'suffa Where beer runs free and trails run out, On On, g'suffa Trink it down down down down...
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CHRISTMAS HASH SONGS
Be careful now, don't you bite, And So This Is Hashmas With your tongue you can keep it warm. (Tune of “And So This Is Christmas”) The fire is slowly dying, And so this is Hashmas, And my dear, we're still good-bye-ing, And a Happy New Year, But as long as you want me so, Get in a drunk punch-up Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow And get socked in the ear, (Hold your ear then) I've Got a Bone for Christmas Aarh-aarh-aarh-aarh (Tune of “I'll be home for Christmas”) And so this is Hashmas I've got a bone for Christmas, With a wink and leer You can count on me, Let's eat too much turkey Just a blow and mistletoe, And drink lots of beer And condoms on the tree, (Hold your belly) Far from home you'll find me, Aarh-aarh-aarh-aarh Wanking till I scream. I've got a bone for Christmas, And so this is Hashmas If only in my dream No need to look glum Drink it down down down... We'll drink too much whiskey And fall on our bum I saw Mommy Fucking Santa Claus (Grab your ass) (Tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”) Aarh-aarh-aarh-aarh I saw Mommy fucking Santa Claus, And so this is Hashmas Underneath the Christmas tree at noon, What a load of crap, She didn't see me creep, Let's put it up your bottom Down the stairs to have a peep, And cum on your back She thought I was napping, (Gesture accordingly) In my bedroom fast asleep, Oohh-aarh-oooh-aarh Then I saw Mommy fucking Santa Claus, Underneath his swaying big fat moon, Give It a Blow What a sight that would have been, If Dad had only seen, (Tune of “Let it Snow”) Mommy fucking Santa Claus at noon! Well the weather outside is frightful, But my dick is so delightful, Silent Night If you really want to see it grow, Silent Night, foggy night Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow Someone pfffft! Smells like shite, Who's the bastard that dropped his guts, It doesn't show signs of stopping I hope it blew a hole in his nuts, My dick is ready for hopping That will make him sing high-er If you want a really good show And bring a tear to his eye. Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow Drink it down down down...
When it’s time to kiss good-night, How I'll hate going out in the storm! i
Jingle Balls XXXXXX the RA Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way, (Tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”) Oh what fun, it is to run, around naked in this way, Jingle balls, jingle balls, jingle all the way, (Insert RA's name in the song) Oh what fun, it is to run, around naked Christmas Day. You better not spit, You better not whine, Dashing round the block, not wearing any Dacks, You better not think, One hand on your cock, to give your balls more slack, I'm telling you why Bouncing up and down, as we run to and fro, (RA's name here) the RA's watching your ass We'll jingle with your gen-i-tals wherever we may go. He's making a list Drink it down, down, down... He's checking his butt He's going find out who's naughty or nuts, White Hashmas (RA's name here) the RA's watching your ass I'm dreaming of a white Hashmas, As I masturbate in bed, He sees you when you’re pointing, Dreaming of juicy Lucy He knows who's FRB And Rock Hard's floozies, No camel toes or lunchbox pants, And a Katoey giving me head. Or beer drinking you will be I'm dreaming of a a white Hashmas, With every stroke of my old man, Oh, no holdling up walls Oh, I think I'm coming, Or private phone calls, I know I'm coming, Or holding your balls, Oh, won't Hashmas be so grand... I'm telling you all (RA's name here) the RA's watching your ass Drink it down, down, down... Shitty Bells (Tune of “Silver Bells”) Shitty sidewalks, snowy sidewalks, Filled with Bright Hasher marks, In the hares there's a feeling of panic, People laughing, as we're assing, Mooning smile after smile, And on every street corner you'll hear... Chorus: This is hell! This is hell, Losing the trail in the city Shitty trail, hear us wail, When will it be Down-Down time?
Hopping snowbanks, we're just pisstanks As we track down the beer, Making obscene remarks about ...... (enter a name here) Hares are racing, hounds are chasing As the mile turns to 10 And the DFL screams from the rear Chorus Down down down...
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