THE BOOK of YOU Camp Jukebox Musical,2017

The Gate Hill Players Proudly Present…

THE BOOK OF YOU Camp Jukebox Musical,2017

SCENE ONE - Once Upon a Time

(A library. Deep reds, rich burgundies, maroons and chocolate browns. Globes, maps, stone busts of famous poets, etc. Freestanding bookshelves are propped in front of theatre lifts.

ENTER FABLE “FAY” WEAVER, a bespectacled, contemporary youth, followed by the entire COMPANY, behind her on various levels.

MUSIC IN - ONCE UPON A TIME)

FABLE (smiling, to audience): Has anyone ever read you a fairytale And taken you to places magical Where homes are made of gingerbread and skies are always blue Where pumpkins turn to coaches and wishes all come true?

Has anyone ever sung you a lullaby? You can fly above the rain clouds Close your eyes Let the melody carry you Leave all your fears behind And float across a rainbow sky to once upon a time?

ALL: Once upon a time…

FABLE: My name is Fable Alexandra Weaver, but you can just call me “Fay”.

ALL: Once upon a time…

FABLE: This is my story...well, part of my story. 2

ALL: Once upon a time...

FABLE: It all began on the last week of summer vacation. My mother insisted I volunteer at the public library, because I was feeling stuck. I thought it was going to be boring, but strange things have a way of happening on the last week of summer, and my adventure, well, it was just beginning!

(MUSIC OUT after 1:46

COMPANY EXITS.

SCENE TWO - Rules

AGNES and BERTHA step forward, LIBRARIANS station themselves around the space)

BERTHA: Well Agnes, I finally got my hearing aid working.

AGNES: What’s that Bertha? Speak up, my hearing aid’s not working!

BERTHA: Huh?

FABLE: Who knew there’d be so many little old ladies at the library?

(BERTHA and AGNES turn and glare at FABLE)

BERTHA and AGNES: Who are you calling old?!

FABLE: I’m sorry! I didn’t think you could hear me.

AGNES: You mean you didn’t think!

BERTHA: Didn’t think about your manners, that is!

AGNES: We’ve been coming to this library for the past forty years…

BERTHA: Forty years!

AGNES: And we’ve never been so blatantly insulted!

FABLE: I’m very sorry, honestly.

AGNES: I think honesty's always the best policy.

BERTHA: You believe that?

AGNES: No, I was lying.

(AGNES and BERTHA exit from stage, take seats in audience)

LETTIE: Don’t worry about those two, dear.

LINDA: They’re just a little cranky because their interlibrary loans haven’t come in yet. I’m Linda.

LETTIE: I’m Lettie.

LUCY: I’m Lucy!

ALL 3: We are the librarians. Can we help you find something?

FABLE: My mother sent me to volunteer.

3 LIBRARIANS: Ooooh! A volunteer!

LINDA: You’ll have to speak to Marian…

LETTIE: The HEAD librarian.

LUCY: Here she comes now!

(LIBRARIANS scatter! MARIAN enters) 4

FABLE: Wait!

MARIAN: Shhhhhh!

(ALL scatter and get down, afraid of MARIAN)

Rule number one! Quiet in the library at all times! Hello, I’m Marian the Librarian. How wonderful you’ve chosen to volunteer here at the public library.

FABLE (under her breath): I didn’t volunteer. Are there other rules?

MARIAN: I’m glad you asked! Ladies?

LETTIE: Phones and other devices must be silent!

LUCY: All books must be returned to their proper section, or it will be a catastrophe!

LINDA: No food, drink, or chewing gum!

MARIAN: And...most important of all…

ALL: NO DAMAGING THE BOOKS!

MARIAN: Damaging the books is grounds for immediate dismissal from the library! No second chances! Is that clear, young lady?

FABLE: Yes!

MARIAN (handing her a card): Now, it’s time for you to get to work. Here is a list of books that have gone missing from their proper section. We need a chipper young person with a keen pair of eyes to find them and get them back to where they belong before things get...worse.

LETTIE: Much, MUCH worse. 5

LUCY: SO much worse.

LINDA: Terrible.

FABLE: There’s only one book on this list.

MARIAN: Then you shouldn’t have any trouble! Ta ta!

FABLE: But…

ALL LIBRARIANS: Shhh!

(ALL EXIT, leaving FABLE alone)

SCENE THREE - Friends of Shakespeare

BACKGROUND MUSIC IN - “STORYBOOK LOVE” by Vitamin String Quartet)

FABLE: Great. A job I didn’t want, looking for a lost book that I don’t care about. If this is my story now, I don’t like it.

(ENTER ROBIN GOODFELLOW, a merry faun with leaves in his hair)

PUCK: If you don’t like your story, change it!

FABLE: Who are you?!

PUCK: Surely you know me!

FABLE: Sorry dude. Are you...some kind of goat?

PUCK: Goat?! Haven’t you read Shakespeare? (Whispering) Your line is right there.

(PUCK hands her a scroll, she reads...) 6

FABLE (awkwardly): Either I mistake your shape and making quite, Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite Called Robin Goodfellow. Are not you he?

PUCK: Thou speak’st aright. I am that merry wanderer of the night! You might know me from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, where I was immortalized by the great Bard!

FABLE: What are you doing here?

PUCK: You’re standing next to the Shakespeare shelf, who were you hoping to meet, Julius Caesar?

FABLE: You mean, all the character in all the books...live here?

PUCK: We live in your imagination mostly. But until you read about us, we call the library home. Fantasy, fairy tales, history, even comic books. We’re all here!

(HAMLET enters, carrying a skull. ROMEO and JULIET enter. JULIET on lift, overlooking a bookshelf. ROMEO below)

Look! Here comes Hamlet!

HAMLET: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well!

AGNES: That was lovely. You know, I studied Shakespeare.

BERTHA: Ha! You mean you studied WITH Shakespeare.

(ENTER FAIRY QUEEN, with 4 FAIRY HANDMAIDENS tossing flower petals)

FABLE: Who is that?

FAIRY ATTENDANTS: Make way! Make way!

FAIRY QUEEN: I am Tatania! Queen of the Fairies! 7

FABLE: Queen? Of the FAIRIES? You’ve got be be kidding me!

PUCK (bowing): My lady! What brings you here?

FAIRY QUEEN: Love, of course. What else? Look, there’s young Romeo and Juliet!

ROMEO: But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

JULIET: O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name.

PUCK: Yeech. Things don’t end so well for those two. They’re planning to run away together. Probably because their families don’t get along.

FAIRY QUEEN (to FABLE): How very sad! Can you help them, human child?

FABLE: Help them? How?

FAIRY QUEEN: Rewrite their story.

FABLE: Yeah right, I can’t even rewrite my own story.

FAIRY QUEEN: Nonsense. Just call for pen and ink and write your mind! Will you help them?

FABLE: I’ll try.

SCENE FOUR - Get Back Up Again

(SOUND EFFECT - SOUND EFFECT - JABBERWOCKY, which is a layering of paper crumpling/paper ripping/pages turning/lion roaring, and a thunderstorm! Thunderstorm is the first sound we hear, and the first to fade. Lion is the last remaining sound after the paper sounds stop. 8

CALLIOPE, CLIO, and TERPSICHORE enter, terrified of the sound)

PUCK: Get down everybody! It’s baaaack!

FABLE: What is it?

PUCK: It’s the Jabberwocky! Every time a book goes missing from its section, the Jabberwocky escapes!

(SOUNDS FADE)

PUCK: That was a close call.

MUSTARDSEED and PEASEBLOSSOM: It’ll be back for sure!

COBWEB and MOTH: We’re doomed!

(FAIRY ATTENDANTS exit, terrified)

FAIRY QUEEN: They’re right! All books must be returned to their proper section, or it will be a catastrophe. It’s in the library rules, right before no food, drink, or chewing gum.

FABLE: Marian the Librarian told me to find a missing book.

FAIRY QUEEN: That’s it! Quick, what’s the title?

FABLE (looking at card): It’s called...The Book of You.

PUCK: Never heard of it. Who’s the author?

FABLE: It doesn't say.

FAIRY QUEEN: Well, you’d better find it before the Jabberwocky eats all the books in the library...and all of us too!

(MUSIC IN - GET BACK UP AGAIN from TROLLS)

PUCK: I really hope you can do it 'Cause we're all depending on you! And now it’s time to leave and journey into the unknown And brave the dangers of the book shelves Saving us before we're eaten…(gasp) I mean, how hard can that be?

PUCK: Nobody’s scared, right?

ALL: Right!

PUCK: Sing it, Muses!

CALLIOPE: Looking up at a sunny sky, so shiny and blue and there's a butterfly Well, isn't that a super fantastic sign It's gonna be a fantastic day?

CLIO: Such marvelousness it's gonna bring Got a pocket full of songs that I'm gonna sing And I'm ready to take on anything Hooray!

TERPSICHORE: Some super fun surprise around each corner! Just riding on a rainbow, gonna be okay…

ALL: Hey! I'm not giving up today There's nothing getting in my way And if you knock knock me over I will get back up again Oh! If something goes a little wrong Well you can go ahead and bring it on 10

'Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again Whoa oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh

OTHER SOLOISTS: I'm marching along I got confidence I'm cooler than a pack of peppermints And I haven't been this excited since I can't remember when! I'm off on this remarkable adventure Just riding on a rainbow!

FABLE: What if it's all a big mistake? What if it's more than I can take?

PUCK: No! We can't think that way 'cause I know that it’s really really really gonna be okay!

Whoa oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh Whoa oh oh oh, get back up again, whoa oh oh oh oh oh And if you knock knock me over, you knock knock me over I will get back up again!

SCENE FIVE - Excalibur!

(LIBRARIANS ENTER, scolding audience)

MARIAN: Shhhhhhh! Quiet please! Rule number one!

(ALL SCATTER and exit, except for PATHFINDERS. PATHFINDERS form a clump at center, one of them holding up a foam sword)

AGNES: We got our money's worth tonight, eh Bertha?

BERTHA: But we paid nothing.

AGNES: And that's what we got!

MARIAN: That’s enough, you two. Did you come here to be entertained or not?

AGNES: That's right.

MARIAN: What's right?

AGNES: We came here to be entertained, and we're not.

LETTIE: Nevermind them, what can we do to help Fable?

LUCY: Those Jabberwocky attacks are getting worse!

LINDA: Can’t we give her some magic, Marian?

MARIAN: The magic is inside her already. But remember, “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” That’s from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.

LETTIE: Sage advice.

LUCY: So wise.

LINDA: I still think we could give her a little magic!

(ENTER LUCIAN, holding a bundle of scrolls)

LUCIAN: Hi Marian. Hi ladies. I finished putting the scrolls in alphabetical order. Here they are. Oops!

(LUCIAN drops the scrolls)

Sorry.

LINDA: Lucian! As Assistant Librarian in Training, you’ve got to be more careful. Those scrolls are ancient, and they contain all the libraries most magical secrets.

LUCIAN: I’m sorry! I’ll be more careful.

LUCY: Let me help you pick them up, Lucian.

LUCIAN: That’s okay. I got it. Thanks anyway.

(LIBRARIANS exit. LUCIAN drops the scrolls again)

Not again. Oh! Bye the way, I came across something strange when I was looking at the ancient scrolls. I think it might help Fable on her quest to find The Book of You! Ladies? Ladies? Where’d they go?

(LUCIAN exits, as FABLE reenters.

Enter WART, riding a “horse”...although in reality he is just banging two coconut halves together)

WART: Steady. And...Over we go (the “horse” jumps over an obstacle). Well taken, horsey! Now slow down to a trot. And… whoa! (The “horse” stops. WART dismounts) Very good, horsey!

(sees FABLE)

Help! Help! I’ve ridden far and wide!

FABLE (laughing): What, ridden on a horse?

WART: Yes.

FABLE: You’re using coconuts!

WART: What?

FABLE: You’ve got two empty halves of coconuts and you’re banging them together.

(Seeing that she is no help, he cries out louder!)

WART: HELP! Help! I’ve got to find a sword. There’s a great dragon in the land!

(PATHFINDERS enter, forming the stone and sword behind them)

FABLE: A dragon? I thought it was a Jabberwocky? Slow down. Maybe I can help you. What’s your name?

WART: My name is Arthur, but they just call me Wart. I need a sword. Have you got one?

FABLE: Uh...there’s one over there.

(WART looks at her and starts laughing hysterically. Stops. Looks at her again. Laughs even more. Gasps)

WART: Sorry, but that’s hilarious. That there is the sword Excalibur. Only a true king can pull that thing out of the stone. A little nothing like me could never, ever, EVER...

(ARTHUR pulls forth the sword!)

OH! Well looky there!

PATHFINDERS (singing): EXCALIBUR!

WART: Excalibur?

ALL: EXCALIBUR!!!!

WART: Awesome! Thanks! It’s good to be king!

FABLE: Wait! I’m looking for a missing book. It’s called The Book of You? Ever heard of it?

WART: Fraid not. But don’t give up! These here are my friends the Book Worms. They taught me a little song that gets me through almost anything!

(MUSIC IN - “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”)

Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad Other things just make you want to cry... When you're chewing on life’s gristle, Don’t grumble, give a whistle! This little song’s the thing you need to try…

ADD PATHFINDERS: Aaaaand... Always look on the bright side of life, Always look on the bright side of life

ARTHUR: If life seems jolly rotten, There’s something you’ve forgotten! And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing, When you’re feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!

PATHFINDERS: And always look on the bright side of life Always look on the bright side of life

(PATHFINDERS dance in a circle around him)

WART: Oh look, they’re going around! That gives me an idea for a ROUND table!

ALL: Always look on the bright... side of liiiife!

WART: Gotta run!

FABLE: Don’t be a hero, Wart!

(WART leaps off stage dramatically)

SCENE SIX - LITTLE HEROES!

(PATHFINDERS sit on edge of stage steps)

SHANE: Did somebody say “hero”? We LOVE heroes!

CAMDEN: Especially SUPERheroes!

BENNETT: We’re the book worms!

VIOLET: We come to the library to read the comic books!

SOPHIA CRIS: We want to be just like our favorite superheroes!

BROOKE DAVIS: Because we’re stronger as a team!

SOPHIA DiPISA: We try our best!

JORDAN F: We take exciting risks!

GEMMA: We learn from our mistakes!

LONDON: We dream BIG!

ELI: We celebrate our success!

ABIGAIL: Just like Super Girl!

HALLE: Just like Wonder Woman!

BROOKE WHITMAN: Just like Aquaman!

ESME: Don’t forget about the Flash!

CLAIRE: Or Captain America!

SADIE: Or Captain Underpants!

(ALL laugh)

OWEN: WAIT! You’re forgetting one very important hero!

ALL PATHFINDERS: Batman!

(MUSIC IN - BATMAN THEME 1966

PATHFINDERS dance to music, then exit, waving goodbye)

SCENE SEVEN - WONDERGIRLS!

FABLE: Heroes, huh? That’s what I need to be now, a hero. But I can’t run really fast, or shoot lasers out of my eyes, or anything!

(ENTER WONDERGIRLS - HERMIONE, DOROTHY, ALICE, WENDY, and MATILDA)

WONDERGIRLS: Neither can we!

FABLE: I feel like I’m gonna be asking this a lot, but who are you?

HERMIONE: Hermione Granger!

DOROTHY: Dorothy Gale!

ALICE: Alice in Wonderland!

WENDY: Wendy Darling!

MATILDA: Matilda Wormwood!

HERMIONE: All your favorite female characters! Together we are...

WONDERGIRLS: The Wondergirls!

HERMIONE: Who needs superpowers when you have cleverness and books?

DOROTHY: Ingenuity goes a long way!

ALICE: Don’t forget about the importance of curiosity!

WENDY: And happy thoughts!

MATILDA: Perseverance!

HERMIONE: If you don’t like your story, change it!

SOME: Change it!

ALL: Change it!

FABLE: How can I change my story when I’m just a character stuck in the middle of it?

HERMIONE: It’s your story, Fable.

FABLE: I don’t even know if I’m trying to stop a Jabberwocky or a Dragon?

HERMIONE: We all have different names for the beast we’re hunting. But you can do anything!

DOROTHY: Melt a wicked witch!

MATILDA: Stop a mean Head Mistress!

WENDY: You can even fold time and space!

HERMIONE: I did that!

ALL: We know!

ALICE: I’ve faced more than my share of Jabberwockies. Don’t just tumble down the rabbit hole, Fable. Grab that croquet mallet and swing!

AGNES (from audience): The question is, what is a Jabberwocky?

BERTHA: The question is, who cares?

WONDERGIRLS: What’s a Jabberwocky?

SCENE EIGHT - JABBERWOCKY!

(LIBRARIANS run out, aghast)

LIBRARIANS: WHAT’S A JABBERWOCKY?

(MUSIC IN - OVERTURE from CORALINE

WONDERGIRLS form a pantomime troupe, acting out the poem as Librarians recite)

LUCY: `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, 19

And the mome raths outgrabe.

AVA: “Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!”

LINDA: He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought -- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought.

MARIAN: And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came!

ALL LIBRARIANS and WONDERGIRLS: One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.

LETTIE: “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy!”

LINDA: ‘O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’ He chortled in his joy.

LUCY: `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

ALL: 20

All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe...grabe...grabe...grabe…

(ALL BOW, LIBRARIANS EXIT)

BERTHA (from audience): What did you think of that?

AGNES: Out of sight!

BERTHA: You mean you liked it?

AGNES: No, I mean I had my eyes closed.

FABLE: I think I understand. The Jabberwocky represents fear, and fear can be conquered. Is that right?

ALICE: If it helps you, then it’s right.

WENDY: Keep looking!

FABLE: Thank you. Thank you all. I will. I promise.

(Group hug!)

FABLE: Any idea where I should look next?

MATILDA: You’re in the fantasy section now.

DOROTHY: But if you just follow the yellow brick road, you’ll find yourself in the mythology section next.

WONDERGIRLS: Goodbye, Fable! Good luck!

ALICE: And remember, “Not all those who wander are lost.” That’s from The Lord of the Rings!

(ALICE curtseys as THEY exit)

SCENE NINE - Myth-Makers! 21

FABLE: I feel so much better now, like I could handle anything.

(SOUND EFFECT IN - JABBERWOCKY)

Not again!

(PERCY JACKSON, THOR, and MAUI enter, each standing tall on a platform.

Sound fades)

PERCY JACKSON: The Kraken has attacked yet again! My father Poseidon must be displeased with us! I, Perseus Jackson will stop it!

THOR: It’s not the Kraken! It’s the Midgard Serpent! MY father Odin had it banished to the sea. I, Thor, will stop it!

MAUI: You’re both wrong. It’s not the Kraken, and it’s not the Midgard Serpent either! Everybody knows it’s the earthquake god, Mafui'e'! I, Māui, will stop it!

FABLE: Let me guess. Greek mythology, Norse mythology, and Polynesian mythology, right?

ALL 3: Right!

PERCY JACKSON: But if you want to know more about us…

THOR: We’ll have to call in the Muses!

MAUI: MUSES! This human child wants to hear all about me!

PERCY JACKSON: No me!

THOR: No, meeee!

(ENTER MUSES: THALIA, POLYHYMNIA, and URANIA 22

MUSIC IN - YOU’RE WELCOME from MOANA)

THALIA, POLYHYMNIA, and URANIA (solos): OK, OK I see what's happening here You're face-to-face with greatness and it’s strange You don't even know how you feel. It's adorable! Well, it's nice to see that humans never change

Open your eyes, let’s begin Thor and Per-see-oos and Maui! Breathe it in I know it's a lot: The hair, the bods! When you're staring at three demigods!

What can they say except “You're welcome” For the tides, the sun, the skies? Hey, it’s OK, it’s OK. You're welcome They’re just three ordinary demi-guys!

Hey, what has two thumbs and pulled up the sky When you were waddling yay high? This guy! When the nights got cold, who stole you fire from down below? You're looking at him, yo!

Oh, also he lassoed the sun —you're welcome— To stretch your days and bring you fun Also, he harnessed the breeze —You're welcome— To fill your sails and shake your trees

So what can they say except “You're welcome” For the monsters they pulled from the sea? There’s no need to pay, it’s OK, 23

You’re welcome I guess it’s just their way of being free You're welcome, you're welcome

Well, come to think of it...

Kid, honestly I can go on and on I can explain every natural phenomenon The tide, the grass, the ground Oh, that was Maui just messing around He killed an eel, he buried its guts Sprouted a tree, now you've got coconuts What's the lesson? What is the take-away? Don't mess with these guys when they’re on the break-away And the tapestry here on their skin Is a map of the victories they win Look where they've been. They make everything happen Look at that mean mini Maui just tippity tappin' Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hey!

(FULL COMPANY has gradually entered)

FULL COMPANY: Well, anyway, let me say you're welcome! For the wonderful world you know Hey, it's OK, it's OK. You're welcome! Well, come to think of it, they gotta go

Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome! 'Cause they didn’t come to gloat They’re sailing away, away. You're welcome! 'Cause heroes can do anything but float You're welcome, you're welcome

And thank you!

(ALL EXIT)

SCENE TEN - Making History 24

AGNES: What wonderful singers!

BERTHA: Well, so am I! Want to hear me sing?

AGNES: Only if you sing solo.

BERTHA: Solo?

AGNES: So low I can't hear you!

(FAIRY ATTENDANTS flutter in)

MOTH: Those Muses sure are aMUSEing!

COBWEB: And they love MUSEicals!

PEASEBLOSSOM: Maybe they should go to an aMUSEment park!

MUSTARDSEED: Or a museum!

(FAIRIES giggle, and flutter off stage.

PUCK enters)

PUCK: Fable, there you are. Any closer to finding The Book of You?

FABLE: No! And the beast attacked again. What are you doing here, anyway?

PUCK (very proud): Oh, I appear in Shakespeare, fantasy, and mythology, so you’re likely to bump into me most anywhere in the library!

FABLE: What section is this?

PUCK: History. Yikes...that’s no place for me here. See ya!

(MUSIC IN - POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE

ENTER LUCY, LINDA, MINI HAMILTON, ANGELICA, ELIZA, and PEGGY)

LINDA: The year is 1776. A young man arrives in New York City and makes a most fortuitous acquaintance.

LUCY: Ladies and Gentlemen the History section of the library proudly presents, the meeting of Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton...a one man show...

LINDA and LUCY: 1776. New York City…

ELI:

[HAMILTON] Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?

[BURR] That depends. Who’s asking?

[HAMILTON] Oh, well, sure, sir I’m Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir I have been looking for you

[BURR] I’m getting nervous

[HAMILTON] Sir… I heard your name at Princeton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?

[BURR] You punched the bursar 26

[HAMILTON] Yes! I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid

So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?

[BURR] It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed

[HAMILTON] You’re an orphan. Of course! I’m an orphan God, I wish there was a war! Then we could prove that we’re worth more Than anyone bargained for…

[BURR] Can I buy you some juice?

[HAMILTON] That would be nice

[BURR] While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice Talk less

[HAMILTON] What?

[BURR] Smile more

[HAMILTON] Ha!

[BURR] Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for

[HAMILTON] You can’t be serious

[BURR] You wanna get ahead?

[HAMILTON] Yes

[BURR] Those who run their mouths off wind up dead!

(Ya-yow, ya-yow-yow! What time is it? Show time!)

Like I said… Show time! Show TIME!

(BUTTON!)

(MUSIC IN - THE SCHUYLER SISTERS)

ANGELICA: There's nothing rich folks love more Than going downtown and slummin' it with the poor They pull up in their carriages and gawk At the students in the common Just to watch them talk Take Philip Schuyler: the man is loaded Uh-oh, but little does he know that His daughters, Peggy, Angelica, Eliza Sneak into the city just to watch all the guys at-

ALL: Work, work!

ANGELICA: Angelica! 28

ALL: Work, work!

ELIZA: Eliza!

PEGGY: And Peggy!

ALL: Work, work! The Schuyler sisters!

ANGELICA: Angelica!

PEGGY: Peggy!

ELIZA: Eliza!

ALL: Work!

PEGGY: Daddy said to be home by sundown

ANGELICA: Daddy doesn't need to know

PEGGY: Daddy said not to go downtown

ELIZA: Like I said, you're free to go

ANGELICA: 29

But-look around, look around, the Revolution's happening in New York

ELIZA/PEGGY: New York

ALL: Angelica

[SCHUYLER SISTERS AND COMPANY] Work!

PEGGY: It's bad enough daddy wants to go to war

ELIZA: People shouting in the square

PEGGY: It's bad enough there'll be violence on our shore

ANGELICA: New ideas in the air Look around, look around-

ELIZA: Angelica, remind me what we're looking for...

ANGELICA: Eliza, I'm lookin' for a mind at work I'm lookin' for a mind at work! I'm lookin' for a mind at work! Whooaaaaa!

ELIZA/ANGELICA/PEGGY: Whooaaaaa! Work! ALL: Work, work!

Work, work! Work, work!

Work!

(BUTTON!

Enter HAMILTON)

HAMILTON: I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy and hungry And I’m not throwing away my shot I’m ‘a get a scholarship to King’s College I prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish I gotta holler just to be heard With every word, I drop knowledge I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal Tryin’ to reach my goal my power of speech, unimpeachable Only nineteen but my mind is older These New York City streets get colder, I shoulder Every burden, every disadvantage I have learned to manage, I don’t have a plan to brandish I walk these streets famished The plan is to fan this spark into a flame But hey, it’s getting dark, so let me spell out the name I am the A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R we are meant to be A colony that runs independently! Meanwhile, Britain keeps spittin’ on us endlessly Essentially, they tax us relentlessly Then King George turns around, runs a spending spree He ain’t ever gonna set his descendants free So there will be a revolution in this century (Enter me!)

SISTERS: 31

he says in parentheses!

ALEXANDER: Don’t be shocked when your hist’ry book mentions me I will lay down my life if it sets us free Eventually, you’ll see my ascendancy And I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy and hungry And I’m not throwing away my shot

ALEXANDER and SISTERS: I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy and hungry And I am not throwing away my shot It’s time to take a shot!

SCENE ELEVEN - Folklore Folks

(MARIAN and LETTIE enter, very emotional)

MARIAN: That was so powerful! As Alexander Hamilton said, “when the sword is once drawn, the passions of men observe no moderation”

(LUCIAN enters, carrying one scroll)

LUCIAN: Marian! Marian! I found it! I found the strange passage I was looking for. Right here. It says…

The Book of You cannot be found until the weaver comes around with pen and ink to change the tale Then all the magic will unveil

I think it’s about Fable. Her last name is Weaver. But, what does it mean when it says she must change the tale?

MARIAN: I think we’re about to find out, Lucian. Let’s see what happens next.

(LETTIE exits, as they all head toward exit)

Oh, and Lucian, good job.

(MARIAN exits. LUCIAN’s face lights up! He exits)

CINDERELLA enters in audience, running into FABLE)

CINDERELLA: Oh dear! He’s after me!

FABLE: Who is?

CINDERELLA: Prince Charming. He wants to marry me.

FABLE: Wait a minute...are you who I think you are?

CINDERELLA: The name’s Ella.

FABLE: As in CINDERella! Oh wow. I’m a big fan. Ever since I was a little tiny girl. Where’s the prince now? Are you gonna marry him.

CINDERELLA: Well, that’s the big question. You see, I don’t want to get married right now. I want to go to college and study pumpkins!

FABLE: Pumpkins?

CINDERELA: And not just pumpkins, but squashes, cucumbers, and melons too!

FABLE: Oh, well good luck with that. Here he comes!

CINDERELLA: Eek! Gotta run!

(CINDERELLA exits, CHARMING enters, holding a slipper, exits)

CHARMING: Wait! Wait! Come back! My lady!

AGNES (from audience): How poignant, I remember being young and in love.

BERTHA: I barely remember being young!

(MARIAN and LETTIE reappear)

LETTIE: Uh-oh, Marian.

MARIAN: What is it, Lettie?

LETTLIE: I’ve afraid we’ve wandered into the Folklore section. We gotta get outta here, Marian!

MARIAN: Why? Is the beast coming?

LETTIE: No. It’s the Bookworms!

MARIAN: Run!

SCENE TWELVE - Little Red

(THEY EXIT, running, as BOOK WORMS enter and take their places)

GEMMA: The Bookworms Proudly Present…

ALL PATHFINDERS: Little Red Riding Hood!

LONDON: Once upon a time there was a little girl.

ABIGAIL: Her Granny made her a special cloak with a hood on it.

HALLE: It was bright red, and she wore it every time she went out riding.

BROOKE W: So everybody just called her…

ALL PATHFINDERS: Little Red Riding Hood!

OWEN: One day the girl decided to bring some bread to her sick granny.

ESME: Her mother warned her not to stray from the path!

CLAIRE: But the girl didn’t listen.

SADIE: She skipped into the dark forest!

(PATHFINDERS form a forest of outstretched arms)

SHANE: Along came a Big Bad WOLF! He was very...VERY…

ALL: Hungry!

CAMDEN: He asked the little girl where she was going. She told him!

BENNETT: That gave the wolf a good idea.

VIOLET: He ran to Granny’s house, and he ate her up with one big bite!

SOPHIA DiPISA: Help!

SOPHIA CRIS: Then he hid under the covers!

BERTHA (from audience, working their way up to the stage): I love this next part!

AGNES: Me too!

BROOKE DAVIS: Little Red Riding Hood knocked on the door.

SHANE: Come in, my dear...said the wolf!

JORDAN: She crept inside the house, feeling a little anxious.

SADIE: Granny, what big eyes you have...

SHANE: The better to see you with my dear.

SADIE: Granny, what big arms you have...

SHANE and OWEN: The better to hug you with my dear.

SADIE: And what a big mouth!

ALL: The better to EAT you with my dear!

ALL PATHFINDERS: And he ate her all up! THE END!

(PATHFINDERS run off stage, screaming! FABLE enters)

FABLE: Wait! That’s not the ending I remember. I thought the Huntsman saved them in the end.

AGNES: They changed the ending because it was scaring little kids. This was the original ending.

BERTHA: Just the way I remember it. Brutal! So much better!

FABLE: Stories can change?

AGNES: As long as people change, stories must change too.

FABLE: I never realized that. Thank you both.

(FABLE hugs them both suddenly)

AGNES (mid-hug): This is a very moving moment. 36

BERTHA: Yeah. I wish they'd move it to Pittsburgh.

FABLE: I have to get back to the Shakespeare section. You both just gave me a great idea!

(FABLE exits)

BERTHA: She just vanished! How did she do that?

AGNES: Probably like this.

(AGNES runs off stage)

BERTHA (to audience): Yep, that's probably how she did it.

SCENE THIRTEEN - The Course of True Love

(LUCY, PUCK, and FAIRY QUEEN ENTER.

ROMEO and JULIET appear in their same positions as before, looking very sad. CINDERELLA and CHARMING appear on opposite sides of the stage, looking equally sad)

LUCY: “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” - The Alchemist.

(LUCY blows a kiss to all on stage, exits.

MUSIC IN - Stardust, by Mika and Karen Mok)

FAIRY QUEEN: The course of true love never did run smooth.

(to JULIET) He could be staring at somebody new Stuck in his head is a picture of you You are the thunder, he is the rain 37

He wants to know if he’ll see you again

(to CINDERELLA) He said I love you, you said goodbye Everything changes in the blink of an eye It’s been a while, he still carries the flame He wants to know if he’ll see you again

See you again, see you again...

Want you to know, what all this could be What will it take, take you to see?

(CUT to 1.42)

PUCK: I could a little stardust in your eyes!

FAIRY QUEEN: Put a little sunshine in your life! Give me a little hope you feel the same

BOTH: ‘cause he wants to know if he’ll see you again See you again... Funny how the time is rushing by And all the little things we leave behind But even then in everything I do, is a little bit of me, and a little bit of you

ROMEO/JULIET/CINDERELLA/CHARMING: When will I see you again? When will I see you again? When will I see you again?

ALL: When will I see you again? I could a little stardust in your eyes 38

Put a little sunshine in your life Give me a little hope you feel the same

ROMEO/JULIET/CINDERELLA/CHARMING: And I wanna know if I’ll see you again See you again When will I see you again? When will I see you again?

SCENE FOURTEEN - Fable Weaver

(LIBRARIANS ENTER)

LIBRARIANS: “Never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time.” - David Copperfield.

(ENTER FABLE and WART, now wearing a crown)

FABLE: Wait! Wait! I found him!

WART: Indeed you have! How can I help!

FABLE: I need to borrow your sword. I can’t find The Book of You, but maybe I can slay the Jabberwocky!

FAIRY QUEEN: Human child, you promised to rewrite these stories.

FABLE: You’re right. I did. And I know it can be done. As long as people change, stories must change too. Isn’t that right?

FAIRY QUEEN: Hurry! The beast approaches!

(SOUND EFFECT - JABBERWOCKY!

FABLE runs to the librarians)

LINDA: NOW can we give her some magic?

MARIAN: She has all the magic she needs. 39

FABLE: How do I start?

MARIAN: It’s always best to start at the beginning.

LIBRARIANS: Once upon a time!

FABLE: Once upon a time there was a girl named Fable Weaver. She didn’t like her story. She was stuck. But the Wondergirls gave her advice, and mythology heroes helped her see her value.

(WONDERGIRLS and MYTHOLOGY GUYS enter)

And the muses sang beautiful music, which gave her strength. And a pair of wise women taught her that stories change, and why.

(AGNES, BERTHA, and MUSES rush in)

BERTHA: Well, this has been an evening to remember.

AGNES: Why?

BERTHA: I forget.

PUCK (to FABLE): What next?

FAIRY QUEEN: Hurry, child!

FABLE: So...so the girl took the sword Excalibur from King Arthur...and transformed it into a...a...into a quill pen!

ARTHUR: Get her something to write with!

HERMIONE (handing her a blank book): Here!

PUCK: Start writing!

CINDERELLA: Hurry!

FABLE: So the Jabberwocky roared and reared its head, and suddenly they were saved by...by...the Bookworms!

ALL: The Bookworms?

FABLE: Why not? The Bookworms rushed in, frightening the Jabberwock with their stories and superpowers!

(PATHFINDERS rush in!

SOUND EFFECT begins to fade)

DOROTHY: It’s working!

ALICE: Keep writing!

FABLE: Cinderella decided to go to a great college and studied horticulture.

CHARMING: Did she marry the prince?

FABLE: Well...maybe she did. That’s up to her. Romeo and Juliet helped their families see the power of love and peace. And as for Alexander Hamilton, well…

HAMILTON: Well nothing! We’re history. You can’t change it!

MARIAN: No, but you can learn from it.

PUCK: What happened to Fable?

FAIRY QUEEN: Yes, what happened to Fable?

FABLE: To Fable?

LIBRARIANS: To Fable?

FABLE: Anything I want. I write my story. The Book of You is an unfinished story with many blank pages to fill. I guess I’d better make it a good one.

(FABLE steps down, address audience directly)

This is my story. Well, part of it. The rest is yet to be written. I am my story. The Book of You is me.

SCENE FIFTEEN - The End

(FULL CAST faces audience)

MARIANE: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

PUCK: If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.

ALL: Who laughs, who cries, who tells your story?

(MUSIC IN - ONCE UPON A TIME, full song)

FABLE: Has anyone ever read you a fairytale And taken you to places magical Where homes are made of gingerbread and skies are always blue Where pumpkins turn to coaches and wishes all come true?

MARIAN: Has anyone ever sung you a lullaby? You can fly above the rain clouds 42

Close your eyes

LUCY/LETTIE/LINDA Let the melody carry you Leave all your fears behind You can float across a rainbow sky to once upon a time

ALL: Once upon a time...

FABLE: I believed in miracles

ALL: Once upon a time…

FABLE: I believed love would conquer all

ALL: Once upon a time…

FABLE: I believed anything was possible And I believed again the moment when I saw you here tonight Now once upon a time has never felt more right!

ALL: (Once upon a time) we believed in miracles (Once upon a time) we believed that love would conquer all Oh yes! We believed anything was possible And we believed again the moment when We saw you here tonight Now once upon a time Has never felt more right! Once upon a time!

THE END

“GET BACK UP AGAIN” - Encore from last “HEY!” 43