PFLAG IS A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION WITH OVER 250,000 MEMBERS AND JUST OVER 250 CHAPTERS IN THE U.S.

ISSUE VOLUME 02 19 FEBRUARY 2012 www.pflag.com [email protected]

FEBRUARY IS MARRIAGE CYBER BULLYING EQUALITY Please join us for our General Meeting on We are pleased to have as our speaker MONTH Monday, February 27 at 7:00 pm at the Marcie Denberg-Serra, Assistant Director First United Methodist Church, 2231 Cami- of the Anti-Defamation League of San Di- no del Rio South in Mission Valley. Doors ego. One of the ADL’s goals is to secure open at 6:45 pm. justice and fair treatment to all citizens alike. Marcie’s presentation will be on cy- PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WE HAVE A ber bullying and how it relates to the LGBT CHANGE IN THE ORDER OF EVENTS. community. WE WILL HAVE OUR SUPPORT GROUPS FIRST, THEN OUR COOKIE SOCIAL, FOLLOWED BY THE SPEAKER.

Please join us in efforts to bring equality to all.

HILLCREST MARDI GRAS A LITTLE INFORMATION Hillcrest Mardi Gras will take place Tuesday, February 21 starting GOES A LONG WAY a 6 pm (rain or shine). This yearly Hillcrest outdoor celebration is a fantastic block party, in its 11th year, featuring street performers, a Supporting Students – Saving huge dance stage, musical acts and more. Lives is the theme of the third annual CESCaL (The Center for Come enjoy cold beverages, food and great company. This is a Excellence in School Counseling perfect celebration to get those hard to find beads, beads and more and Leadership) Conference beads! being held February 17-19. The conference addresses LGBTQIA Proceeds benefit the GSDBA Charitable Foundation (Greater issues in schools and is primarily for San Diego Business Association – AKA the SD Chamber school counselors, all educators, school psychologists, of Commerce). The Foundation provides scholarships to LGBT school administrators, (basically any profession students and LGBT community student allies. that deals with youth). The purpose is to teach and General admission is $15 in advance, $20 at the gate. VIP Admission empower educators regarding laws and rights of the is $50 in advance, $75 at the gate. LGBTQIA students, resources, advocacy, and how to create a safe environment. PFLAG San Diego is one You must be 21 years of age or older of the sponsors. One of the guest speakers is Jody to attend. For more info: mosuniverse. Huckaby, Executive Director of PFLAG National. For com/blogs/hillcrest-mardi-gras. more info visit www.cescal.org. OFFICERS, COMMITTEES & VOLUNTEERS Membership Application Current Positions Memberships are for the calendar year. Co-Presidents Newsletter o New o Renewal o Change of Address Patti Boman Sherry Cohen-Richards, o Please contact me for volunteer opportunities 619-227-6092 Editor [email protected] Linda Bessemer, Laura Confidentiality is respected. Your donation is tax Partido & Flowers Group deductible (Tax ID 33-05-12868) Terrie Vorono Printing 858-483-8310 [email protected] Jessy Sauchuk, Belladia Make checks payable to: Marketing & Design PFLAG San Diego Past President Library PO Box 82762 Barbara Bodine [email protected] Joni Goldbarg San Diego, CA 92138 [email protected] Vice-President Type of Membership Programs Sherry Cohen-Richards The Board o Individual ...... $30 o Household ...... $40 858-349-6269 o o [email protected] Business ...... $50 Supporting ...... $60 Scholarship o Contributing ...... $125 o Lifetime ...... $1000 Recording Secretary Olivia Dorman o Other ...... $______Arlene Prater o Accept my donation, please do not list. [email protected] Spanish Interpreter Maria Cortinas Please fill out, clip and mail this form Corresponding 760-758-3294 Secretary Name...... Speakers’ Bureau Betsy Sheets Address...... [email protected] Terrie Vorono City...... Treasurer State...... ZIP...... Mark Thompson Coordinator 619-339-5843 Evelyn Lindenmuth Email...... [email protected] 619-300-0396 Phone...... Date...... Greeter Refreshments or go online www.pflag.com Lonnie Brunini Betsy Sheets [email protected] Website Membership Robert Sachristan Bobbi Harwood [email protected] 858-453-3249 REMEMBER [email protected] Board Members 2012 MEMBERSHIPS Patti Boman, Karen Info Line Thompson, Sherry Cohen- WERE DUE JANUARY 1! Support/Outreach Richards, Mark Thompson, 888-398-0006 Terrie Vorono, Sandi We always like to remind our membership of why it is important Timberlake, Kim Martinez, to pay dues and continue your financial support: room rental for Arlene Prater, Betsy Sheets the San Diego General Meeting, the telephone info/help line, newsletter publication and mailing, scholarship for LGBT youth, PFLAG San Diego PRIDE Parade and Festival, educational books and DVDs, fees PO Box 82762 San Diego, CA 92138 to participate in events to provide more visibility in the commu- Tax ID #33-0512868 nity, supplies, etc. Please keep in mind, also, that $15 of each membership is sent to PFLAG National to support them.

If you haven’t renewed or joined yet, please help us to support the LGBT community. Current Events SUPPORT GROUPS February 17-19 March 5 Friday-Sunday Monday SD COUNTY GENERAL MEETING & SUPPORT GROUP CESCaL Conference Mi Familia Support Group (see article) Meets every fourth Monday at 7:00 pm, at the First United March 8 Methodist Church, 2231 Camino del Rio South in Mission February 21 Thursday Valley. Tuesday PFLAG Support Group Hillcrest Mardi Gras North County Inland For further information, contact the Info Line: 888-398-0006 (see article) March 12 or www.pflag.com February 25 Monday Saturday PFLAG Support Group NORTH COUNTY COASTAL Bowling for Equality East County (see article) Meets the first Monday, at 7:00 pm, North County LGBTQ March 12 February 27 Monday Resource Center, 510 North Coast Highway, Suite C, Monday Mi Familia Support Group Oceanside. San Diego PFLAG General Meeting & March 15 Contact [email protected] or Support Groups Thursday Larry Gerling, (760) 224-2178. March 5 Diversionary Theater/ reception & play (see article) Monday NORTH COUNTY INLAND PFLAG Support Group March 16 Meets every second Thursday, at 7:00 pm, Temple Adat North County Coastal Friday Deadline to submit Shalom, 15905 Pomerado Road, Room #9, Poway (Ran- scholarship applications cho Bernardo). The entrance to parking is directly across the street from the entrance to Sprouts’ Market Center. Drive to the end of the building and bear right around it, to GET YOUR PRIDE GEAR the first doors on your right (double doors). Visit our online store & show your Contact Sue Fine, (858) 673-4560 or support, purchase from PFLAG. [email protected]. http://www.cafepress.com/pflagsd

EAST COUNTY Meets every second Monday, at 7:00 pm, Summit Unitarian Universalist Church, 8778 Cottonwood Avenue, Santee. Contact Ron Goetz, (619) 588-2342 or [email protected].

MI FAMILIA (Spanish) Meetings are every Monday from 6:00pm - 8:00 pm at The Center. Contact Carolina, (619) 692-2077 Ext. 116.

TRANSGENDER SUPPORT For more information on the Transgender Support Group Contact Kathe Dunn, [email protected]. Robert Sachristan CreativeWorks Graphic Design 619 630 - 0498 National PFLAG, Washington, DC (202) 647-8180, www.pflag.org 3 IT DOESN’T HURT NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR MARRIAGE (NOM) TO KEEP ASKING TAUGHT A CIVICS LESSON

The HIV Neurobehav- New Jersey Governor Chris Christie won’t And when Brown claimed that “democracy ioral Research Center discuss marriage equality or make decisions doesn’t count here” because Wolfson (HNRC) at UCSD in Hill- concerning same-sex marriage. He wants opposes a proposal by Governor Christie to crest is asking for vol- to leave everything up to the voters of New put same-sex marriage up for a statewide unteers to do research Jersey. A recent debate, discussing this debate and vote, it was answered with a studies. While most of very issue were , founder and civics lesson on American values: the research is done president of Freedom to Marry and Brian “I disagree with Mr. Brown’s explanation with volunteers who Brown, president of the National Organization of how the United States is supposed to are HIV positive, they for Marriage. Even though the debate was function,” Wolfson said. “Here in the United are currently asking for only 10 minutes long, it was televised, giving States, we actually believe there are basic volunteers who are HIV those who are part of the “movable middle,” rights, basic freedoms, that are protected for negative between the reason to shift in the “right” direction. He everybody under the Constitution. And it’s ages of 18 to 39 years set about dismantling the “torrent of talking exactly what we don’t do is have a big debate old and 50 to 80 years points” that Brian Brown unloaded during about whether you should have freedom of old. Anyone interested their appearance on Up Close With Diana religion, or whether I should have freedom in volunteering may call Williams. of speech, or whether you should have the the research center at When Brown insisted gay rights activists freedom to marry. We are all Americans, 619-543-5000 between in New Jersey were trying to “redefine and we are all entitled to basic rights and 8am and 4pm Monday marriage” with a bill legalizing same-sex protections. And we don’t put that up to an through Friday. Eligible marriage, Wolfson shot back that, “Marriage up-or-down vote.” volunteers are compen- is not defined by who is denied it.” sated for their time. The deadline for HIV nega- tive volunteers is the end of March. BEYOND DOMA A robust coalition made up of civil rights, risking their lives on the front lines for our labor, progressive, faith, student, health, safety – are treated as strangers under legal, women’s and LGBT organizations federal law, rather than provided the respect today announced support of the Respect and protections federal law normally assures for Marriage Act – the bill to repeal the to married couples and their loved ones,” discriminatory so-called Defense of said Evan Wolfson, (Freedom to Marry). Marriage Act (DOMA) that withholds federal “This broad and diverse coalition has come protections and respect for legally married forward to urge members of Congress to end gay and couples. Here’s a brief the unfairness. In America, we don’t have DOMA refresher course: This is a federal second-class citizens, and shouldn’t have law that defines marriage as a legal union second-class marriages, either,” Wolfson between one man and one woman. No U.S. said. state is required to recognize a same-sex marriage that another state considers legal. “The federal government should not be in the business of picking which marriages it likes The Respect for Marriage Act (H.R.1116 and and which it does not, but that is exactly what S.598) is supported widely with a majority DOMA does,” said Joe Solmonese, outgoing of Americans and has a record number of Human Rights Campaign president. “The Congressional cosponsors with 136 in the breadth and depth of this coalition shines House and 32 in the Senate. a bright light on the heart-wrenching “Because of the ‘gay exception’ created by discrimination against loving, committed DOMA, America’s legally married gay and families caused by DOMA.” lesbian couples – including service members 4

HALLELUJAH! ONE STEP CLOSER CALLING ALL

On February 7, the United States Court of citizens.” And then, “Yes, you are full citizens LGBT SCHOLARS Appeals for the Ninth Circuit affirmed the of this state and nation – free to love, commit Federal District Court’s historic ruling that your lives to each other, and to marry.” And PFLAG San Diego Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. Yes, Judge then again, “No, we’ve decided you are hopes you are busy re- Vaughn Walker got it right moons ago when again second-class citizens.” It finally has minding LGBT seniors, he said Proposition 8 was unconstitutional swung in the right direction and it must stay full-time students in under the Due Process and Equal Protection there. secondary education, clauses of the United States Constitution. and full-time graduate Here is one of the best lines of the ruling: It’s a long-awaited and historic victory: LGBT students to apply for the federal court of appeals panel noted, Americans are again full and equal citizens PFLAG scholarships. “Proposition 8 served no purpose, and had of California! However, there is a caveat; no This is our 14th year of no effect, other than to lessen the status same-sex marriages can be performed at the offering these scholar- and human dignity of gays and in present time. Once again, the decision was ships. We plan to award California.” stayed while the opponents of equality again seven scholarships; the range is from $1000- appeal to a higher court, again attempting to A big thank you to Chad Griffin from the 2000. delay the day when LGBT persons are fully American Foundation for Equal Rights who free. initiated the suit. And let’s not forget the The purpose of the lawyers who defended the suit – David Boies There had been court battles and ballot awards is: to recognize and Ted Olson. They told the truth and made propositions galore. Here’s how the outstanding LGBT youth the courts see the light. pendulum swung: “No, you are not full from the community, es- pecially for their involve- ment in the gay commu- nity and/or society; to encourage post-second- ANOTHER STEP CLOSER ary education of LGBT persons; to promote a On February 1, the state Senate of A perk is that this was a bipartisan effort. It’s positive image of LGBT Washington voted 28-21 to legalize same- wonderful when politicians vote their hearts, persons in society. sex marriage. Less than a week later, the not their party affiliation. House passed the marriage equality bill 55- Please visit our web Full celebrations will begin in early June when 43. Governor Chris Gregoire happily signed site, www.pflag.com and the bill should take affect. The opponents of it into law on February 13. Governor Gregoire click on the scholarship equality are already collecting signatures to is the one who proposed the marriage link. The requirements get the bill repealed on the November ballot. equality bill (probably the only governor in are listed on the schol- Wet blankets. the country to do so); she was so passionate arship application. All about getting it passed that she stood on the awardees must be able floor of the Senate anxiously watching the to attend the awards debate and the votes. ceremony on Monday, April 23. The deadline for submitting applica- THIS ISN’T POPPYCOCK tions is Friday, March 16, 2012. Poppy Champlin is an internationally known comedian and For more info, call Chair producer of the hit comedy tour called The Queer Queens of Olivia Dorman, 619-743- Qomedy. Poppy and other lesbian comics will be performing 6879 or email oliviae- on Saturday, March 24 at the Birch North Park Theatre, [email protected]. 2891 University Avenue in North Park. Ticket prices haven’t been announced; they will be in the March newsletter. HRC is sponsoring this year so some proceeds go to the fight for LGBT rights.

From the reviews, this show is side-splitting funny. 5 BOWLING FOR GETTING TO KNOW YOU EQUALITY The Diversionary Theatre is presenting the tickets, please mention PFLAG to get the Tony nominated play Next Fall from February discount. The Human Rights 16 through March 25. Community members Before the play, between 7:00-8:00 pm, Campaign’s annual are especially welcome on Thursday, March PFLAG is hosting a reception. Bowling for Equality 15 at group rates. Ordering online, the tickets is Saturday, February are $31, which includes a $4 service charge. The play covers themes about devotion, 25 from 1:30-4:30 pm To initiate the discount, use the code PFLAG. sexual orientation, and unconditional love, at the Kearny Mesa The other options are to phone the theatre and the impact it has on our relationships. It (619-220-0097) and charge it or buy the Bowl, 7585 Clairemont is described as being witty and intelligent. tickets in person. Those tickets are $28.25, Mesa Blvd., San Diego. which includes a $1.25 service fee. The We hope you will attend. Any questions, Anyone who wishes to theatre is located at 4545 Park Boulevard, please call 1-888-398-0006. bowl, the donation is San Diego. Whatever way you purchase the $35 which includes a one year membership to the Human Rights WHO KNEW? Campaign. All funds raised are to benefit CNN commentator Roland Martin made it a GLAAD was “way off base” and suggested HRC. For anyone is not-so-super Super Bowl Sunday with a tweet that his tweet was a joke about soccer fans, and a Facebook posting widely perceived to not gays. who unfamiliar with this be homophobic, and GLAAD (the Gay and wonderful organization, Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) has Earlier in the day, he had posted on his their goal is to improve called on the network to fire him. Facebook fan page, “Who the hell was that the lives of LGBT indi- New England Patriot they just showed in a viduals by advocating GLAAD reports that after retailer H&M’s head to toe pink suit? Oh, he needs a visit for equal rights, i.e., to Super Bowl commercial featuring soccer from #teamwhipdatass.” ensure LGBT persons player David Beckham, Martin tweeted to his nearly 95,000 Twitter followers, “If a dude at GLAAD reports that Martin has a history of and families are treated antigay statements, noting that he defended equally under the law in your Super Bowl party is hyped about David Beckham’s H&M underwear ad, smack the comedian Tracy Morgan’s homophobic all aspects of life. ish out of him! #superbowl.” stand-up performance (for which Morgan has apologized) and boasts on his website In response, GLAAD wrote, “@rolandsmartin that his wife “has counseled many men and Advocates of gay bashing have no place at @ women to walk away from the gay lifestyle.” CNN #SuperBowl #LGBT.” Martin replied that

SANTORUM: GAYS DON’T MERIT “PRIVILEGE” OF MARRIAGE Early in February, at a campaign stop in portion of the LGBT community would like to Missouri, a gay man asked Rick Santorum say about the ex-Senator’s take on traditional about marriage rights. Being the anti-gay “family-values” marriage. person that he is, his answer was that marriage is a “privilege” and that gay relationships do not benefit society in the same way as heterosexual ones. To further his remarks, he said, “Two people who may like each other or may love each other who are same- sex, is that a special relationship? Yes, it is, but it is not the same relationship that benefits society like a marriage between a man and a woman.” He went on to discuss problems experienced in single-parent homes, not explaining how that is relevant to allowing gay couples to marry. This is what a good 6 KUDOS TO J.C. PENNEY MAYORS UNITE In January, J.C. Penney announced Ellen Hollywood culture by DeGeneres as the department store’s new proving that talent and It almost goes without spokesperson. Without missing a beat, a likability can override saying that Mayor Jer- conservative online organization, One bigotry. ry Sanders was one of Million Moms, launched a campaign to have over 100 mayors from There was never even a her fired. AND we all know why. all across the U.S. that flinch from J.C. Penney as joined Mayors for the Well, One Million Moms found out the hard they confirmed it “stands Freedom to Marry. This way that they can’t compete with Ellen’s behind its partnership with bipartisan group has three million daily viewers. Ellen DeGeneres.” So do pledged to support the many of the department store’s shoppers. Here’s how this organization, which is freedom of same-sex an extension of the American Family Another homophobic incident last fall with couples to marry. They Association, thought they could change the One Million Moms organization was they are part of Freedom to J.C. Penney’s mind. They called on their campaigned against Macy’s for including Marry’s national cam- members to urge the company to rethink a wedding cake topper with two men in its paign to expand public their decision. Part of the message, “Funny catalog. Last year, its parent organization, support for ending mar- that J.C. Penney thinks hiring an open the American Family Association, launched riage discrimination. homosexual spokesperson will help their an attack on Home Depot for participating in They believe that all business when most of their customers gay pride events. people should be able to are traditional families. The majority of J.C. share in the love and the A sampling from J.C. Penney’s Facebook Penney shoppers will be offended and commitment of marriage, page “As an American Mom in a traditional choose to no longer shop there.” and the government is family with no gay or lesbian family members no exception. They will We guess they didn’t realize that Ellen’s I want to respond with big congratulations be fighting at all levels of three million viewers each day transcends to both you and Ellen. Don’t let anyone tell government to accom- traditional demographics. Gay, straight, you how to run your business. Not everyone plish this. moms, dads, kids, and even television in America is homophobic. I will continue critics (she’s won over 32 Emmys), Ellen to shop at your stores and admire your It is heartening to learn has surprised the industry’s once closeted courage!!!” that this truly was a di- verse group of mayors. They represented red A LITTLE TO THE LEFT STRIKES IT BIG states, blue states; large cities, small cities; cul- We are proud that our own PFLAG and Board mother approved.” turally, racially and geo- member, Sandi Timberlake, announced graphically diverse cities. The cards are tastefully that her gay-friendly greeting cards will be The goal that linked them designed with elegant motifs the first to be sold as a full collection in a together is a common that appeal to mainstream major grocery store. The first wise store is commitment to fairness. buyers. Greeting themes Albertsons in Palm Springs. We are sure include cards for same- there will other Albertsons to follow and then sex weddings, unions, other major grocery stores will get the hint. anniversaries, holidays -- including Sandi is the owner of A Little To The Left (and Valentine’s Day -- and everyday occasions, designer, too). She launched her business openly addressing same-sex relationships, based on her own need to find tasteful and offering sentiments to “son and son-in-law” appropriate greeting cards to send to her son and “daughter and daughter-in-law.” and son-in-law for their special occasions. You don’t have to go all the way to Palm Finding nothing that appealed to her, and Springs to see Sandi’s cards. Visit www. realizing that other people like her must alittletotheleft.com to see the entire array of have the same need, she decided to create designs. When one (or 2 or 3) strike your them and thus, was the birth, in September fancy, Sandi can bring them to the general 2008, of A Little To The Left. She refers to PFLAG meeting. her collection as being “gay friendly and 7 PFLAG THANKS YOU FOR YOUR EXTRA HELP

Contributing Memberships Designing and Producing Linda & Fred Espinoza the New PFLAG Banner Doris Faulkner (to be unveiled at the Jan Garbosky & Bonny Russell February general meeting) Mark & Karen Thompson Wayne Walker Sandi Timberlake Supporting Membership Sue & Tom Johnson Library Donation Dale & Shirley Clukey General Fund Donations Bill Patten Providing Refreshments Charlotte Pichney For Our Meeting Dale & Shirley Clukey Karen Thompson In Memory of Lillian Rubin Sandi Timberlake Show your support! Buy ad space! Mark & Karen Thompson

Luan D. Andrews, M.A.

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST MFC 19321

3252 HOLIDAY COURT  SUITE 106  LA JOLLA, CALIFORNIA 92037-1807 (858) 552-8181 FAX (858) 552-0205