Editor-in-ChiEf Tdd Mrhad Contents tdd@clumbiacitypapr.cm noVemBer 5, 2009 Volume 5 issue 5 ArtS Editor my sweet misery: the Birth of cinematic suicide p. 6 Judit Trunks jtrunks@clumbiacitypapr.cm

ColAthEAtEr.Com News.Politics.Commentary S.M. Balm, Garrtt Kllrhalss editorial demint on dope? 33 dESign regional Briefs priest Blesses dogs 33 Rsca Glassr letters to the reader dear autumn leaf 44 statehouse report Boeing stresses need for education 44 muSiC the good fight what do repuBlicans really want? 88 Shlby Sachs, Kingsly Waring editorial oBama’s real death panels 1616 ted rall stop the drones 1818 PubliShEr pg. 6 Paul Blak paul@clumbiacitypapr.cm

ACCount ExECutivES Arts.Entertainment.Etc Brandy Dby, Jams Wallac 44 Bacardi soundBoard punk/indie//ska/hardcore/metal/rock 66 ContributorS Vocal Booth hip-hop reView and eVents 1010 S.M. Balm, Andy Brack, Garrtt Kllrhals, Ismail arts golden symBols 1111 Lagardin, WR Marshall, Will Mrdck, Td Rall, saVage loVe sex with zomBies 1515 Dan Savag, Kingsly Waring, Baynard Wds rock and roll crosswords 1515 ask a mexican 1717 ColumbiA City PAPEr 1818 2965 Nrth Main Strt jonesin crosswords Clumbia, SC 29201 pg. 15 803.218.9455 (DIAL AReA CoDe) Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies are $1 and two-bits each. Views expressed do not necessarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC dEmint on doPE?

BByy BBaynard WWoods decisions. As a senator (part of the Federal government, by the way), Jim DeMint thinks he knows better than the local voters how they should be allowed to administer to their sick citizens. Jim DeMint is not really a proponent of freedom at all. Or rather he has an excep-- tionally strange conception of freedom. Though DeMint’s brand of freedom may be new in America, it is not entirely novel. Remember when George Bush looked into Vladimir Putin’s eyes and saw his soul? I suspect that what he saw looked a CHARLESTON seats before switching to a diet of Subway lot like Jim DeMint. brand sandwiches, praised the children for their South Carolina’s faux-populist Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations andand Table knfe sours AA meetn commitment to tness. Fogle rose to prominence Republicans claim to be for freedom and thethe Declaration of Independence both following claims that he lost around 200 lbs. against Big Government. Now their con-- came out in 1776. Since then, we have A Charleston man has been charged with after he adopted an exercise regimen and ate victions will be tested. assumed that political liberty and economic simple assault after threatening his “body exclusively at the popular restaurant chain. Obama’s Department of Justice took liberty were inherently connected. Russia guard” with a table knife during an Alcoholics He has been a spokesperson for Subway since dramatic action to limit federal interven-- and China have radically challenged those Anonymous meeting. 2000. tion in state business. Last month, the assumptions in recent years. They have Department of Justice announced that it shown that it is expedient to allow eco-- The victim told Charleston police that his Lake Cty resdents alarmed by ron would no longer seek to interfere with state nomic liberty, while denying personal and attacker had paid him $20 to be his bodyguard. bear medical marijuana laws. Federal agents— political liberty. Economic freedom inin According to a police report, both men were Lake City police warned residents to stay you know, the ones in the jackboots that thethe Russia expanded greatly under Putin. At the attending the AA meeting at the Star Gospel indoors after receiving reports of a black bear right is so afraid of—will no longer inter-- same time, individual liberty suffered simi-- Mission on Meeting St. when the offender and her cub roaming on the south side of town. fere with states that have legalized medical larly dramatic decreases. The growth of of allegedly became “upset with the quality of the “The bear and cub have gotten separated, victim’s services.” and it has made the (mother) bear angry,“ Lake marijuana. They will no longer invade the Russian and Chinese economies under According to the ousted bodyguard, his City Police Chief Billy Brown told the Florence the privacy of those Americans through oppressive regimes has been a revelation to former employer also said, “If you ever do me Morning News . Police briey set up roadblocks surveillance; they will no longer kick in the DeMinted Right. If economic freedom like that again, I am going to kill you.” The and also solicited help from the S.C. Dept. of their doors. The government will no longer does not require individual liberty, these attacker then unfolded a rag and displayed Natural Resources. DNR game wardens later tax hard-working Americans to pay for all men see no reason for individual liberty. InIn a table knife. The victim called police, who called the search off, believing that the bear of this surveillance, arrest, imprisonment, the end, DeMint means the same thing that escorted the attacker from the meeting. eventually found its cub and left town. trial, appeal, etc. Putin and the Chinese Communists mean Jim DeMint has tried to position him-- by freedom. CLEMSON MYRTLE BEACH self as the Senate’s champion of freedom. If Jim DeMint really loves freedom, Cty councloman suspended for cancer Booze: Achilles’ heel for town ofcials He should be especially delighted at this he should vocally support the Justice scam Just days before Atlantic Beach Mayor, step towards liberty. Around the same time Department’s announcement. This is a true Gov. Mark Sanford has suspended a Retha Pierce, was removed from her post as the Justice Department’s announcement,nt, victory for states’ rights. Unless, DeMint Clemson city councilwoman accused of falsely stemming from hit-and-run charges, Atlantic DeMint approvingly quoted a Gallop poll and the rest of our Republicans are really claiming her daughter had cancer to avoid a Beach Police Chief, Randy Rizzo, was arrested in his blog: “Americans saying govern-- talking about white supremacy when they court hearing and to solicit money.. for public drunkenness. ment doing too much.” He told U.S. News talk about states’ rights. Investigators say Councilwoman, Elouise Following his arrest by Horry County police, and World Report, “Government should I have not seen Jim DeMint’s soul. James, forged a physicians order from Cancer Rizzo told the Sun News of Myrtle Beach that he do what the Constitution says it should do. In fact, he has consistently refused to Centers of the Carolinas to get her daughter simply drank “too many beers” and that he will The Constitution is intended to limit gov-- speak to me. He does not return my calls. excused from a court hearing. The order pay his debt to society just like anyone else. ernment in what it can do. And it’s pretty But I know one thing about him. If he reportedly claimed that Kirstyn James was Prior to Rizzo’s arrest, Mayor Pierce had specific about defending our country, regu-- does not come out in favor of the Justice undergoing chemotherapy for cancer. been arrested four times, most recently on lating interstate commerce, and a few other Department’s medical marijuana policy, he A warrant further charge that James misdemeanor DUI charges. things. What we’re doing today is way out will prove that he holds a Putinesque con -- “solicited money from the victim to aid in the of the bounds of the Constitution.” ception of liberty. He is not for freedom. treatment of Kirstyn James, her daughter, who Exactly. The Constitution nowhere says He is for big business. And he is for big purportedly suffered from cancer,” according to that the federal government should inter-- government, except when it interferes with one report. fere with the states’ ability to allow medi-- big business. No one is hurt by medical James denies the allegations. CorrECtion cal treatment. This is a step forward for marijuana, except for the pharmaceutical DeMint’s anti-Federal agenda. He should industry and the politicians that support it. FLORENCE In the editorial “Still Pulling For The be holding tea parties in celebration of this If he’ll talk to you, ask Jim DeMint: does Jared Fole spotted at area school Home Team” [October 22, 2009, issue 4 vol. decision. he support big government or freedom on Subway spokesman, Jared Fogle, recently 5]: the author mistakenly claimed that “The We all know that he hasn’t and he won’t medical marijuana. But you might need visited Main Street Elementary School in Lake FPA nanced the construction of that second support the Justice Department’s move. some Russian to understand his answer.. City to recognize the grand prize winners of fountain for over $800,000.” The second DeMint has previously indicated that he the Subway “Fresh Fit” contest. The fth-grade foutain only cost $315,000 and City Paper is against states’ rights when it comes to Call his Columbia Office: winners, Ja’Kayla Andrews, Justice Smith and regrets the error. To further clarify Executive medical marijuana. He is an enemy of Zyria McClam, won a $1,000 tness grant for Director of Five Points Association, Merritt freedom for cancer patients. He supports 803-771-6112 the school and $1,000 in Subway cash cards. Mchafe wrote City Paper, “In fact, I told stronger prosecution of drug offenses and The other local grand-prize winner was Steven you that some of my board members wanted other victimless crimes. He is for big Causey, a seventh-grade student at Southside Shop Local, but I was out numbered with government intervention and a socialistic Middle School. federal police force. Jim DeMint wants the committee (made up of other community Fogle, who reportedly weighed 425 lbs. and to keep local citizens from making local had trouble sitting in standard movie theater leaders in the city).” noVemBer 5, 2009 3 Mr. Meaner’s crime watch GoToMyPC: Subjects are innocent until proven guilty, this is not a court of law It’s this easy. 29208 The USC College of Hospitality and Retail is not in a hospitable mood after someone stole six laptop computers from a workstation. The crook left no prints, but one officer –apparently a CSI fan—actually found and took a hair sample as evidence. 500 block, Main St.

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Dearest autumn leaf, Dear Roland Cornn, Oh, sun-reddened leaf, I write this ode to thee. Republican sex scandals are just a given at You rock lazily toward the lawn on currents this point, especially when they’re attached of wood smoke and freshly baked pumpkin to self-righteous “family values” types. If we pie, plucked from your branch by a chilly use history as our guide, one might argue that November breeze. It is time for you to winter, it was simply a matter of time before someone to sleep. And of what would you dream? The close to Henry McMaster was caught with a beauty of an icy brook to take you to the sea? teenaged stripper and a handful of sex toys in a The laughter of children plunging in thy piled cemetery. (Frankly, considering the party affili-- depths? Yes, flutter and fall, little leaf, in your ation, we’re surprised it was a hetero encounter final act of grace... before that bald asshole and, considering the state office, that it wasn’t with the bass boat across the street cranks his Internet-based. You could’ve at least done us leaf blower and waits till I’m gone to blow you the favor of picking her up on Craigslist.) But, and few thousand of your buddies into my yard all that aside, Roland, you’ve been in politics and all over my car. long enough to know to at least get a motel Columba Cty Paper room! Columba Cty Paper

noVemBer 5, 2009 5 ByBy s.M. Baleen his graying beard might lead a state fair with an obvious homage to the (urban) But all Sam really longs for is carney to venture he’s in his mid-30s. AnAn legendary Kerouacean toilet roll codex daybreak, when his cleaning lady, Chloe Meet Sam. Sam is the sad-sack adroit reporter might get Jordan to confess and includes one of the best cinematic (played by Anna Chlumsky of “My Girl” protagonist of “My Sweet Misery,” one of a fondness for the occasional pancake and lines of the decade: a plea for thee fame), shows up to give him one last shot four films selected for the 2009 Carmike pint of Guinness, but he’s iron tight as to intended reader to “wipe your ass and be at circulatory redemption. Independent Film Series. his current “day job” other than to remark done with me.” Along with the film’s numerous wintry Sam (played with perfect hollowness cryptically that he maintains vampire Suicidal Sam then drags himself to the beach scenes, Chlumsky brings a pacific, by veteran actor and USC MFA graduate hours. bathtub with a virgin razorblade, where “Ruby in Paradise” spirit to the film Zach Hanks) has been drained of all “My Sweet Misery” was shot entirely all that stands between himself and the which gradually lifts Sam out of his humor, both in the medieval and “ha-ha!” in South Carolina—including several great Tidy Bowl in the Sky is a need to baneful rut. Or does it? Ocean waves cancan sense. Over the past decade, Sam hashas recognizable Columbia locations—and replay a mnemonic version of “This Was be as soothing or steamrolling as suicide- had as many bosses as bowel movements. stars quite a few local Columbia actors, Your Life.” Memory lane—conveyed byby note-reading cleaning ladies. Not until He’s an adult orphan, but he’s not quite including Christopher C. Cook (as Sam’s the novel means of reducing the screen to the film’s final scenes is the mystery of alone in this world. He has a brother who psycho-brother, Burke), Paige Cooper a diminutive square—reveals a sucky life, Sam the Orphan solved. is personally responsible for maintaining (as Sam’s psycho-ex-wife, Nicole), USC to be sure. But big brother savior Burke R.J. Reynolds’ profit margins and who Theatre Professor Richard Jennings (as suddenly shows up via a camera shot that always shows up to lend a helping, brass Jake the bar owner) and Shane Walters (as would make Orson Welles cream himself, knuckle-clenched fist. Sam is also aa a brazier-tempered Dairy Queen manager). and the film takes off. magnet for chain-smoking, pyromaniac Jordan and two other Columbia residents, The point of any noir film is an obvious ex-wives, and has a penchant for dry businesswoman and theatre producer Ann “need to solve.” However, “The Maltese heaving and writing suicide tomes on Burns and attorney Lawrence Needle, Falcon” long ago taught filmgoers that toilet paper. But that’s okay, because produced the film. solving does not always mean obtaining. he’s a regular patient of the Walter Mitty The film is an amazing debut— Throughout, viewers realize that Sam’s Psychiatric Clinic and has also just fallen especially considering that Jordan never life hangs in the balance, but they are Zach Hanks and Christopher C. Cook in in love with his bubble-obsessed, hotel formally studied film and, in addition to never ultimately convinced it will be an My Sweet Misery cleaning lady. writing and directing “My Sweet Misery,” object of salvation. Thus, we hitch along

“M y Sweet M iSery ” waS Shot entirely in South C arolina— inCluding Several reCognizable ColuMbia loCationS— and StarS quite a few loCal aCtorS, inCluding C hriStopher C. Cook , p aige Cooper, uSC t heatre p rofeSSor r iChard J enningS and S hane w alterS.”

Meet Matthew William Jordan. was forced to be the film’s editor. Of Of with eyes wide open. To be sure, even Sam Spade would be Jordan is a Columbia resident and the course, there was a psychic toll for such Sam concedes to ride his life out until proud. writer/director of “My Sweet Misery,” aesthetic payload. Jordan says that during he runs out of cash to pay for his rent-a- which opens in limited national release, the film’s three-week shoot he lost 19 week beachside motel room. He spends MY SWEET MISERY is one of four including Columbia, on November 6. pounds and developed chronic insomnia. half his days and nights semi-listening films in the Carmike Independent Film [For more show time information, see But now he cannot imagine not being to the warped barstool philosophies of Series. It currently plays in 17 U.S. article end.] the editor for any future film projects— stooge friends Jake the Bar Owner, Patrick cities and is slated to open in Atlanta Jordan much prefers Nepalese thatched which is perhaps why co-producer Burns the Scot (Patrick C. Williams) and Steve and Columbia (at Carmike 14 Theater on huts and the platonic companionship of admits, “Jordan is a perfectionist. Beyond the Soon-to-Switch-Sides (Steve Harley). Afton Court directly across from Harbison goats to a Hollywood, Playboy Mansion perfectionist, really—which is good!” Sam spends the other half being haunted Mall), with a run of November 6-7, 10-12. existence. Jordan is also reticent toto Most reviewers might be quick to label by his real-life, Jezebel-of-an-ex-wife, Tickets are $5. Columbia show times discuss anything personal other than his “My Sweet Misery” a black comedy, but Nicole; his Tarantino-inspired brother, are 7:15 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. For moree likes and dislikes of film and literature. a closer inspection leads me to conclude Burke; and an imaginary psychiatrist information about MY SWEET MISERY,, On the subject of age, he admits to being that filmmaker Jordan has invented a new played forthrightly by Thomas Jay Ryan visit http://www.mysweetmiserymovie. more than five and less than 50—though genre: Suicide Noir. The film opens (“Henry Fool,” “Fay Grim”). com 6 noVemBer 5, 2009 MiSERY LOvES COMPANY: ONE-ON-ONE wiTH COLUMBiA’S UP-AND-COMiNg wRiTER/DiRECTOR RECLUSE

ByBy s.M. Baleen CCP: Talk about anything. Reviewing “My Sweet Misery” was an JORDAN: I recently lost a cca at. It wasas easy enough nut to crack. Finding the center catastrophic. She was 15 years old. Her name of Columbia’s newest film phenom, however, was Evinrude. She was diabetic, and I had to might take years to come. I gave it the ol’l’ put her to sleep. college try recently at Columbia’s only Irish CCP: Let’s make a two-minute film. pub, Publick House. What’s the storyline? Matthew William Jordan instantly strikes JORDAN: A man and his goat. The goat one as a graduate of the Michael Moore passes, and the emotional trauma that ensues. School of Public Relations. He’s either CCP: What’s the genre? mindlessly nondescript or an obvious Kilgore JORDAN: Dark comedy. Trout wannabe. Then again, maybe there CCP: Who are the characters? really is such a thing as an artist-who-doesn’t-t- JORDAN: Um, a man. He’s Caucasian. give-a-shit-what-the-world-thinks-so-long-as- And his goat, a female goat. he-can-spend-his-life-putting-pen-to-paper-as- CCP: Is there a voiceover for the goat? honestly-as-a-man-can. JORDAN: No voiceover. Just a goat. AA If so, Jordan is such an artist. No matter goat which can emote. what, he’s a man high on humility and low on CCP: An emote goat? cockamamie. Enjoy one of the most refreshing JORDAN: YYeah. And Edward Norton entertainment interviews of the year! plays the man. CCP: I know you like Charles Bukowski. In CCP: How does the goat die?ie? his movie “Hollywood,” he autobiographically JORDAN: Diabetes. YYou know, this isis describes himself as slipping into movie Writer/Director Matthew William Jordan tricky. I usually let stories cultivate in my head theaters to watch moviegoers see his life, or skills whatsoever. It would be a pretty sad hut JORDAN: Oh. [laughs] No, I’m aa for months. I play the movie in my head. lifestyle, on the silver screen. Have you, or are otherwise. whisperer on set. My sound guy kept telling CCP: Let’s talk about a favorite author you, planning on doing this? CCP: What kind of animals would live onone me to be louder. of yours. JORDAN: I’ve slipped into a few earlyrly your thatched hut estate? CCP: Who edited the film? What waswas JORDAN: VVonnegut. He’s my number screenings. It was great to be there, butbut JORDAN: One goat. A female. [laughter]] your relationship with the editor? one influence. uncomfortable, too. There is a satisfaction in For milk. JORDAN: VVery, very close. Because itit CCP: Did you see his cameo in “Mother getting that kind of positive response. Large CCP: What’s your totem? was me. Editing is very critical. I didn’t planplan Night”? crowds found it funny. Intimate crowds found JORDAN: Hmm. I’ll have to ponder to be the editor, but that’s just what happened. JORDAN: YYeah. But I’m more fond of it dramatic. It tilts depending on the crowd. that.that. Now I think I’ll edit every film I ever make. his cameo in “Back to School.” CCP: Writers and producers tend to bebe CCP: If you could have tea and crumpets There’s no way I could ever work with an CCP: How about film influences? very apposite personality types. As a self- with any one film person in history, who editor. I’m too obsessive, and I’d drive him JORDAN: The Coen Brothers. “Raising described recluse, describe producing. would it be? or her insane. The Coen Brothers and Robert Arizona.” “Miller’s Crossing.” Also, HalHal JORDAN: I had to drag myself out of my JORDAN: James Dean. I was fascinated Rodriguez edit their own films. Hartley, who did “Henry Fool.” (Thomas cave. Lawrence Needle, who’s a Columbia with Dean as a teenager. Dean put tortured CCP: How would you direct the making Jay Ryan is in our movie.) Also, Wong Kar- attorney and on the Workshop Theatre Board— angst on the screen better than anyone since. of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Wai, who makes brilliant mood pieces. Then I went to him initially, and he introduced me to Dean saw himself as a cross between Brando JORDAN: It’s all about the lighting. I’dI’d there’s Kubrick the recluse. Ann Burns. The three of us soldiered on as and Montgomery Clift. lean on my cinematographer Bill Burton. CCP: He was a perfectionist. the producing team. Producing is amorphous.ous. CCP: If you could make a movie of any CCP: You give me the answer. I’ll give JORDAN: YYes, who had an excellent YYou bring all the elements together: financial, one novel, what would it be? you the question. relationship with his cinematographers.. location, casting. To be honest, I hated thethe JORDAN: “The Catcher in the Rye,” butbut JORDAN: [intrigued] Pineapples. CCP: How did you make your film? business end of it. It wasn’t fun, but we had that’s almost too sacred. When I’m old and CCP: Here is the question: What is thethe JORDAN: With Super 16. Infinite takes to plow ahead. gray, I would like to make a film of Vonnegut’s title of your next movie? were not an option, but I love film, not digital. CCP: Hemingway once said you have too “Bluebeard.” JORDAN: [thinking] It was difficult, but it was worthwhile for drop your story over the line and walk away. CCP: Put on your director’s beret. Judge CCP: Define pornography. aesthetic purposes. JORDAN: YYeah. But at least I was able to yourself as a writer. JORDAN: I could reveal way too much CCP: Anything else?lse? maintain complete creative control. JORDAN: [thinking] This film is so closelose about how I spend my seclusion. [laughs] JORDAN: Make sure the following peopleople CCP: Can you provide some to the screenplay. Maybe I’m too in love with CCP: What’s wrong with the filmfilm get mentioned, please. [Hands over long list of autobiographical basics? my words; it’s very close to the script. industry? names, most of which are mentioned in the JORDAN: I was born in Conway, South CCP: Opposite then. As a writer, judge JORDAN: Film by committee. AA review on previous page.] Carolina, and grew up in Myrtle Beach. yourself as a director. tendency to take a unique vision and veer it CCP: Tim McLendon. He did the music. Growing up in a coastal town is part of my JORDAN: I have room to grow. I’mI’m into something formulaic. Great soundtrack, by the way. psyche, and it made its way into the movie. pleased with “My Sweet Misery,” especially CCP: What’s right with the industry? JORDAN: YYes. And our fantastic local As for my age, I’m more than five and less given the financial situation. I’ve learned a lot. JORDAN: There are more great films being cast, led by Christopher C. Cook, Patrick C. than 50. I’ve learned where I can maybe afford small made than ever. It’s become democratized. Williams, Richard Jennings, Steve Harley, CCP: What do you do for a living these compromises without hurting a film—and The Hollywood machine sure does know how Jason Craig— days? where I can’t. to put on a spectacle. CCP: Craig is credited as “the man.”” JORDAN: Occupation…hmm. I work CCP: What did it feel like to say “action” CCP: TaTalk about writing dialogue. JORDAN: YYes, and he also pitched in as a nights. I maintain a vampire schedule. for the first time? JORDAN: I spend a lot of time shaping a valuable crew member. CCP: YYou’re a self-described recluse JORDAN: Slightly surreal. Oddly scene. I don’t want to over-think the process, CCP: Let’s try one more question. YYourour who would love to live in a thatched hut comfortable at the same time. however. age again? somewhere between the Himalayans and CCP: Did you get into it? CCP: Is writing dialogue a gift?ift? JORDAN: Gotta go.go. Nepal. How would you go about building JORDAN: I got very into it; I lost 19 JORDAN: It’s a skill that I hope I have. CCP: I still need your totem. such a domicile? pounds in three weeks. Just—it’s a craft and skill. It’s a private JORDAN: Okay. I’ll go with a diabetic, JORDAN: To be honest, I’d need a CCP: Actually, I just meant in saying process. Some people can build thatched huts lactating goat. manual. And a Sherpa. I have no mechanical “action.” well. noVemBer 5, 2009 7 Native americaN

landing of Boeing stresses iNdiaN Film Festival deVelopment needs

oopinion ByBy aandyndy BBrack Meanwhile the Boeing plant will create only 542 jobs each year for the next seven Don’t get me wrong about the big years, it said. announcement of Boeing bringing thou -- “For the money we’re paying Boeing, sands of jobs to South Carolina. It’sIt’s we could come close to eliminating cor -- absolutely outstanding news – even “trans -- porate taxes for all South Carolina busi-- formational,” as state Sen. Larry Grooms nesses,” she said. “That kind of economic (R-Berkeley) says. stimulus benefits the entire state and has a And while construction of a second real impact on unemployment. Legislative assembly line will bring $750 million in leaders are congratulating themselves for investment and 3,800 jobs for the com-- creating jobs. They didn’t. Instead, they pany to get the state’s $450 million in increased the cost of government at the incentives, a lot of parts of South Carolina expense of already-struggling citizens, who The 12th Annual Native American Indian new biog raphy of sports icon, Jim Thorpe, who laterr won’t benefit. How many people in, say,say, cannot afford the cost of this subsidy.” Film and Video festival of the southeastern United becoming a representative for Native American Hartsville, Dillon or Chester will get jobs But Otis Rawl, head of the state States will be held November 5-8 at USC Russell extras in Hollywood and fought for their equal House Theater and the Nickelodeon Theater. pay in the movie industry; the film “TECHQUA because of the expanded plant? Few. Chamber of Commerce, said a big-picture Presented by the Eastern Cherokee, Southern IKACHI (Land and Life)” which relates history Yes, there will be thousands of spin- view had to concentrate on Boeing’s sup-- Iroquois and United Tribes of S.C., the festival and prophecy to global warming; and “The Other off jobs, just as scores of suppliers for pliers, many of whom likely will move to will include feature films, documentaries and Side of Hip Hop: The Sixth Element,” a narrated BMW located around Spartanburg after the state to be able to be close to the plant. shorts from up-and-coming Native American portrayal of celebrated hip-hop photographer, filmmakers to celebrate National Native American Ernie Paniccioli, a Cree Indian. the German company announced it would Those jobs generally will locate within a Indian Heritage Month. The festival offers three feature-length dramatic open a plant in Spartanburg. Since thethe 100-mile radius of the North Charleston Dr. Will Moreau Goins, founder of the festival, films that have already been making the rounds atat 1992 BMW announcement, the company plant, which means some job help for rural says he is excited to have USC involved again. national festivals. The murder-mystery “Imprint” has invested $4.2 billion and built 1.5 areas. “We’ve always had some participation with USC was produced by Chris Eyre, the director of the [students] coming to the Nickelodeon,” Goins widely successful 1998 independent film “Smoke million cars. Suppliers have invested anan “This announcement sends the mes-- says. “But, this time we’re taking it to them. We’ll Signals.” “Older Than America” delves into the additional $2.1 billion, according to the sage that South Carolina has gotten back be showing movies in the afternoon, so students lasting impact of the cultural genocide and loss BMW Web site. in the game of economic development,” can come to the Russell House, eat lunch and then of identity. “REZ BOMB” is a contemporary love But as Columbia economist Harry Rawl said. “It gives us all a little sense of go watch a film.” story/thriller about a Lakota girl, and a white guy Miley says, building a state economic thing getting better.” The annual film festival will be held in on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation that features the conjunction with the Second Bi-Annual Statewide actor/activist Russell Means (Lakota). development strategy on the backbone of Perhaps one thing that the Boeing Native American Conference, “Paths for Films will be followed by discussions panels landing a huge company every now and announcement will force, Rawl added, the Generations: Building Ourselves and Our and presentations. to further explore the topics then isn’t the smartest way for the state to is a refocused political debate on how to Communities.” presented in the films and to expand cinema grow. reshape a driver of all economic develop-- “It is so important to challenge what people literacy. perceive as Native American Indian expressions andand All programs at USC Russell House Theater “Can we really sit around and wait ment – how the state educates its resi-- our place in this society and our contributions to and Ball Room are Free Admission. every 17 years for a big announcement?” dents. what we all call America,” says Goins. Sunday screenings at Nickelodeon Theater he asks. “I don’t think so.” “We’re going to have to take a look at Each year the finest films created by, or on the are $6.50 general admission; $5.50 for students, Miley, former chair of the state Board some type of statewide funding for public subject of, Native American and other indigenous seniors and active duty military; $4.50 for people are chosen for screening at this festival. Columbia Film Society members and FREE to of Economic Advisors, stressed how huge education,” he said. Currently, rural areas Documentaries this year include a tribal cardholders. and important the good news about Boeing charge very high property taxes, which are was for the poor Palmetto State. a disincentive for business development. SATURDAY “THE ENLIGHTENED TIME” “It boosts our reputation. It makes us But if the state crafted some way to ensure FESTivAL 9am-10:30 am- USC Russell Jana Mashonee –Music Artist ( look like we know what we’re doing [with that rural areas could lower taxes needed to House Theater THE OTHER SIDE 2009 NAMMY Award Winner) SCHEDULE OF HIP HOP THE SIXTH USA Two Spirits: Sexuality, Gender, economic development.] This is a good run government, then rural areas would be At Russell House Free admission: 2008 87 minutes and the Murder of Fred Martinez industry because it has a lot of spinoffs. more competitive. Additionally, statewide 10 :30- 11am TUKUHNIKIVATZ- USA 2009, 4 Minute (short of a THRUSDAY TUK II “Spirit Place / Passage // work in progress) “But, we have some underlying struc-- funding of education would likely ensure 12:30pm -1:30pm For the Rights Transformation” (30:00) In the Footsteps of Yellow tural problems in South Carolina that this better educational quality in rural areas, of All: Ending Jim Crow In Alaska 11-12 noon Maria Tallchief Woman” ( Student Short Film) 25 (56 minutes), 2009, Filmmaker: Jeff 12-1:00pm WEAVING minute (Docu-drama) is not going to help and there are a lot of which also would give economic develop -- Silverman WORLDS 56:46 minutes Camille Manybeads Tso (Navajo)- areas of South Carolina that won’t ever ers more tools to attract jobs. 1:30-2:00pm “Elder Teachers - 2008 Producer Bernnie Filmmaker know who Boeing is,” he said. “We’ve Bottom line: Boeing’s announcementt Project: A Time When We Were Klain HOMELAND (Student One,” 20-min 20092009 1- 2:15 pm “For The Short Documentary Film) 2525 still got to focus on them.” is great, but South Carolina now needs Produced by Dr. Olivia Oxendine Next 7 Generations minutes Amanda Finney (Cherokee) He’s taking about improving worker to take the truly transformational step of USA 2009 Documentary, 8585 - Filmmaker FRIDAY min. Directed & Produced byby AwAwakening of the Spirit ( Short skills, bettering the state’s low graduation reworking how it attracts businesses and 1pm - 2 pm Jim Thorpe (56(56 Carole Hart. Documentary) 7 minutes 2009 rate and focusing on job creation all over grows jobs by focusing on statewide solu -- minutes), 2009, Filmmaker: TomTom 2:15 -3:30 pm TECHQUA Steffany Suttle (Lummi Nation of Weidlinger & Joe Bruchac IKACHI: ABORIGINAL Washington), Director South Carolina. tions. 2-5 pm- TBA , Power Paths WWARNING (44 minutes), By Alan S.C. Policy Council President Ashley (USA, Documentary) Bo Boudart, Gorg 2009 FEATURE DOCUMENTARY Landess warned of hidden costs associ-- Andy Brack, publisher of S.C. producer/director Norman Brown, 3:30 -5pm Older Than 2:00- 3:30 pm (Sun @ The Nic) co-producer America (102 minutes) Dramatic “For The Next 7 Generations ated with all of the tax breaks given to Statehouse Report, can be reached at: 6-7:00pm (USC- Russell House - Feature Filmmaker: Georgina USA 2009 Directed && Boeing. In a press release, the councill [email protected]. Ball Room) To Brooklyn and Back: Lightning Produced by Carole Hart. A Mohawk Journey (56 minutes) 3:30 pm- 5:00 pm “Imprint” called the Boeing package short-sighted 2009, Filmmaker: Reaghan Tarbell SUNDAY- At thethe (feature dramatic thriller) when viewed through the lens that the 7-9 pm REZBOMB - USC Ball NICKELEODEON THEATRE: Produced by Chris Eyre USA: 84 Room ( Dramatic Feature) 9090 1 pm - 2:00 pm A Celebration of minmin state lost 80,000 jobs over the last year. minutes Director /Producer -- Native Short Films (various Genres, 8 noVemBer 5, 2009 Steven Lewis Simpson music videos & student films) what do repuBlicans really want?

The edence s that General Henry McMaster. Two weeks ago, they really don’t McMaster’s ofce won a $45 million lawsuit kno against pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly, in a case involving improper marketing and The strange distribution of the anti-psychotic drug Republican coalition Zyprexa. of corporate Let me say that again. GOP warhorse interests and cultural Henry McMaster, who has been long and conservativism, loud in his call for tort reform, took the big which has dominated pill pusher to court and stuck it to them for BByy WWillill MMoredock American politics for $45 million! And he is crowing about it to all most of the last half-century, seems to be who will listen. And why not? As a candidate coming unraveled. in next year’s GOP gubernatorial primary, The various factions and sub-factions McMaster needs all the good press he can within this contrived alliance barely get.get. understand one another and when they At issue was Lilly’s marketing of try to speak at once, the cacophony is Zyprexa for unapproved “off-label” uses, incomprehensible. such as pediatric applications and treatment The corporate and religious wings of the of depression. It is illegal to market a GOP have been at cross purposes for years. drug for off-label uses or pay for off-label Not as clear to most observers is that there prescriptions with federal Medicaid money. are ssures within the respective wings of the According to the Post and Courier, the party. For example, on the “family values” AG’s suit also claimed that Lilly failed to side, cultural conservatives have long argued warn Zyprexa users of potentially dangerous that working mothers should stay at home side effects, including diabetes and heart an d and welfare mothers should get a job. problems. On the question of abortion, religious It is good that Lilly was brought to account conservatives would force every woman on this matter. But the issue does raise some to carry her pregnancy to term, regardless interesting questions about Republicans, whether she wants or can afford to keep the litigation and individual rights. child, regardless whether she is intellectually Henry McMaster does not want you or and emotionally capable of raising a child. me to be able to sue companies like Eli Lilly, But what becomes of the child after it which makes me wonder why he is so eager is born? Here protectors of the unborn run to do it himself in the name of the state. headlong into family values fanatics who To answer that question I left a message say that the government has no business with Mark Plowden, spokesman for the AG’s raising people’s children or even educating ofce, but got no response. Left to my own them. This philosophical dichotomy helps devices to answer my question, let me guess to explain the appalling levels of childhood that only somebody with the wisdom and poverty, malnutrition, dropout rates other resources of the attorney general should be pathologies in this country. allowed to sue corporations. We can’t allow Something like that has been happening just anybody to run around suing companies on the corporate side of the coalition, as well, willy-nilly, now can we? with equally dire consequences for public But wait a minute! Isn’t it another plank of policy. conservative ideology that individuals should For decades the GOP ideology has been take care of themselves and government dominated by the double mantra: deregulation should get out of the way? Shouldn’t a person and tort reform. In this deregulated who has been hurt by an incompetent doctor environment, we have seen a ood of faulty or a corrupt corporation have legal recourse? and dangerous goods and services in the Access to the courts is as fundamental to market – everything from credit default freedom as the right to bear arms and it is swaps to food tainted with E.coli and toys just as important in the individual’s defense tainted with lead paint. of his person, home and family. How does Faced with a government that has Henry McMaster feel about those values? refused to do its job to protect consumers The Republican “philosophy” is a grab from corporate predators, many people have bag of greed, superstition and reckless concluded that their only defense it to sue opportunism and it has been a public policy the bastards. And that’s where “tort reform” disaster for this nation. But the bag is coming comes in. Those same corporate sponsors unraveled and we are coming to see these who put the Republicans in power and incited ugly behaviors for what they are. It’s about them to deregulate banking and industry have time. also been lobbying to make it more difcult for citizens to sue those nancial institutions See Will Moredock’s blog at www. and manufacturers charlestoncitypaper.com/blogs/thegoodfght. Against this backdrop we are seeing some strange behavior on the part of S.C. Attorney noVemBer 5, 2009 9

THURSDAY Mac’s on Main MONDAY NOV. 16 NOVEMBER 5 Mac’s Allstars The White Mule Wild Wing Cafe Jason Boland & The Bonepony New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern Stragglers MC Chris Only In Dreams Zach Deputy SATURDAY Whole Wheat Bread Hello Tomorrow Utopia NOVEMBER 14 I Fight Dragons Memes Utopia The Blue Iguanas Sleepy Eye Giants Salt Creek Art Bar TUESDAY NOVEMBER THURSDAY Papa String Band 1717 Wild Wing Cafe Wild Wing Cafe NOVEMBER 12 Tom Hall & The Tokyo Joe The Reason Your Plowboys New Brookland Tavern Listening New Brookland Tavern Devils in Disguise Mustard Plug FRIDAY NOVEMBER 6 Rookie Of The Year The Toasters SUNDAY NOVEMBER 8 In Passing Mac’s on Main VVoodoo Glow Skulls Mac’s on Main O’Verona Soul Patrol Deal’s Gone Bad Natural Desire Art Bar The Bitter Suite Maladroit Fatback & the Groove Dance Commander New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern Band Confederate Fagg WEDNESDAY Telepath The White Mule Alternacirq NOVEMBER 18 Agobi Project New Brookland Tavern Charlie Louvin Bowerbirds Dex Romweber Duo Utopia New Brookland Tavern The White Mule Kill Anties Dejavoodoo Melt Banana Gregory Alan Isakov Wild Wing Cafe Thank God TUESDAY DubPhat Wild Wing Cafe The Unawares Utopia NOVEMBER 10 Mighty McFly ...for science! Jackaroe FRIDAY NOVEMBER 13 New Brookland Tavern SUNDAY NOV. 15 THURSDAY Wild Wing Cafe Passafire Mac’s on Main NOVEMBER 19 Retro Vertigo Casual Kings Fatback & the Groove New Brookland Tavern Sounds of Suburbia Band Mary Shelley Overdrive New Brookland Tavern SATURDAY Lefty Williams NOVEMBER 7 WEDNESDAY New Brookland Tavern M-Tank Just Surrender NOVEMBER 11 Marry A Thief Single Serving Friends Punchline Art Bar Sweet Vans Live Animals Monty Are I Throttlerod New Brookland Tavern Cayla Fralick I Fought Abe Death Valley Driver Bayside Wild Wing Carolina Chupacabra Aviary Fire Utopia Tokyo Joe Shallow Palace Devils in Disguise sage flower Brings “tulsa sound”

today by artists like JFJO and Steve Pryor. it’s a great introduction to my songwriting, and Singer/songwriter, Sage Flower, from to some of the top musicians in the modern Tulsa, is currently on the road promoting his Tulsa Sound.” new Arrow, and will play back to back Sage Flower’s live performances contrast shows in Columbia later this month. the sound of Arrow by bringing in elements of Like the Tulsa Sound, the songs on reggae and soul, and even feature new arrange -- Arrow cross several different musical genres, ments of some of the songs. He has been tour-- due in part to a diverse lineup of musicians ing regionally in the Midwest and Southwest from the modern Tulsa scene. Arrow features for several years. For the current Southeast Sage Flower on vocals and guitar, layers tour, Sage will performing solo acoustic/elec -- of pedal steel and lead guitar by Oklahoma tric arrangements of the songs from Arrow, andand, Jazz Hall of Fame inductee Steve Pryor, the new material for his next album. former JFJO rhythm section of Reed Mathis “One of my favorite ways to test new on electric bass and Jason Smart on drums, songs out is by stripping them down to the bare with Brian Lee on piano, and Nigel Frye on essentials, one instrument and one voice,” says double bass. Songwriters Jesse Aycock and Sage. “You have to see if they can stand on A state that has become synonymous with Kasey Rausch also join in singing harmony their own legs.” red dirt and country music, Oklahoma has no vocals on several songs, along with three more Sage will be performing in Columbia at the shortage of musical history. Yet the “Tulsa musicians. Vista Lights festival on Thursday November Sound” has always been a little different than “Creating Arrow was a great experience,” 19th, and at Wet Willie’s on Friday November the rest of the state. Generally described asas Sage says. “Since I was working out of town 20th. You can preview songs from Arrow a hybrid of blues, jazz, and country, the Tulsa during the week, I scheduled the recording ses -- online at: myspace.com/sageflower3. You cancan Sound was pioneered by western swing legend sions on the weekends with Jared Tyler at Blue purchase a copy of Arrow locally at Papa Jazz Bob Wills, probably best known for songwrit-- Alleluia Studios in Tulsa. Recording the album in Five Points. -d-devinevin MMccccarthy ers J.J. Cale and Leon Russell, and continued this way forced us to take our time with it, and I’m really happy with how it turned out. I think         $7$7 7:30pm 8pm $$1100//$$1122 99ppmm $$88 88ppmm $8/$10ds 8pm $12/$15d 6 pm  $10 Fr 7:30 pm  s e telepatH useless   g Zac BowerBirds trivia Passafire  AAgobi P P roject hhosted BByy:: Aviary Fir only indreaMs KKililll AAnties hhArdy & dd& ewAyne Casa kis  8:30pm - 11:30 (weezer Cover) Dpty Sds of Sa  MidnigHt Dri Spcias: Sbrbia hello toMorrow $1.50 PBR Paac MeMes MurderaMa $3.00 Firba         8pm $10/$13d 7 pm  $7$7 7 pm $10 $5/$7 8:30pm $5/$8 7:30 $$1100//$$1144 7 ppmm $1$122/$/$1155 66:3:30 pm  rookieie of Confederate LLiivvee AAnimALs MC CHris “ska is dead” Melt Banana a  tHee year Marry A lfty wiiams IV TouR Thank God  I Passi Tif fagg M-Ta wHole wHeat w/: MuSTARD Plug  o’Vra (CD Ras S) T Si Bread The ToASTeRS The Unawares  St Vas Alternacirq Srvi Frids DeAl’Sgone BAD T Bittr Sit ifigHt dragons VooDoo glow SkullS ...for science!  Dac Caya Fraic MidnigHt MAlADRoIT Cmmadr MurderaMa         5:30pm $10/$12 6pm $5/$8 6:30 6pm  $10/$15 6pm $5/$8 $$1155//$$1177 66ppmm $5/$8 $$1144//$$1166 66ppmm  we sail at dawnsAwFest 09 By tHe sins HawtHorn BBetween tthhee New Music Night  City udr Fams iinnttootthheeddepths fell angels neVeR  HeigHts Ss of Sm Facedown Human BBuried AAnndd MMee w/ Sunny Side Up ShouT  emy witi Death Valley Driver Vindictive Sovereign Jerry Jacobs Jst Srrdr 10 pm April’s Fall The Predecessor Vi of Maya Pono neVeR  $5/$8 A Better Hell Nuuhiwa Pci undrAiser Interpreter Aimas As Si Fi  wusC F Undefined Mty Ar I Ajadr A Road Eternal ladrs Cartr hsy Cris wr Every Mans Enemy  rookie of MC CHris “ska is dead”  tHee year IV TouR wHole wHeat Bread w/: MuSTARD Plug $10/$13d 7 pm In Passing The ToASTeRS O’Verona i figHt dragons DeAl’Sgone BAD The Bitter Suite VooDoo glow SkullS Dance MAlADRoIT Commander

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ByBy dJ kingpin-v-villain ooff vvinylinyl 12) Scarface….The Fix (Dropped inin 2002…Hip Hop Classic) Greetings to you!!! Just wanted to say itit 13) Foxy Brown…Ill Na Na (Lyrics, has been a pleasure providing you out there Production, and Sex equal Hip Hop golden nuggets in this vast land of music, Classic) culture, and all in between. ToToday we are 14) Ludacris…Word Of Mouf (Party going to celebrate one of the greatest record & Bullsh*t over Banging Production…one labels of all time….Def Jam Records. of the greatest to ever come out of Founded in 1984 by Rick Rubin & Russell Atlanta) Simmons, Def Jam has literally manned the 15) EPMD- Business As Usual (This driver’s seat for many road trips down Hip dropped in 1990 & solidified the Brothers Andy Lehman and The Night Moves Columbia and the music realm in general, Hop’s vast highway from Brentwood Long Island, NY as one is one of the newest rock bands to drop you have to be passionate and true to of Hip Hop’s Greatest…Million dollar into the local music scene. Forming a year yourselves, and that is exactly what this REviEw contracts didn’t hurt either) and a half ago, this band has already taken band does. “We aren’t interested in putting Since we are nostalgic, I figured I give 16) Warren G- Regulate…G Funk EraEra Greenville by storm and is hoping to do the limitations on our success,” said Lehman. you a list of some of the dopest, flavor- (West Coast Classic…Mount Up!!!) same in Columbia. “Our goal is to ‘go big or go home’ [and] filled, enrapturing Hip Hop released by 17) LL Cool J…Mama Said Knock You The melodies and lyrics, arguably the we already have a small re burning in Def Jam. Be sure to Google, hit ITunes, or Out (LL is the backbone of the Def Jam soul of the music, are written by Lehman. Greenville, and we are certainly planning check The Record Report for all of these Catalog…He deserves to have his best releases…Support great music… material displayed) If Lehman could describe their rst album, to fan that ame and watch it spread as far 1) 1) LL Cool J-Radio (released in 1985… 18) …Dare Iz A Darkside (This Lowcountry in one sentence, he would as it will.” this was Def Jam’s 1stst released album) album is a lyrical extravaganza… ‘The say “it’s about falling in love and then Their next show is in Greenville on 2) 2) Nikki D- Daddy’s Little Girl (Shee Funk Doctor’) not being able to give yourself to it.” October 23 at the Eagle Zone golf course, was the 1stst woman ever signed to Def Jam) 19) Ja Rule…Rule 3:36 (Released inin Although the album, produced by Rick sponsored by Clear Channel, and on 3) - Tical (Released in ’00 back when Ja was untouchable!!!) Beato of NeedtoBreathe fame, is available November 6, they will be performing in 1994 to all the Wu Tang Glory) 20) YouYoung Jeezy…The Recession on iTunes, if you spot any of the members Clemson at the Main Street Deli. More 4) 4) Slick Rick- The Great Adventures (although released in 2008, this album around the Columbia area, you may be shows in Greenville and Columbia should Of Slick Rick (Classic!!!) cemented Jeezy’s place in Hip Hop able to nd them carrying around 3-song be coming soon. 5) Beastie Boys- Licensed To Ill history…GO BACK AND LISTEN) samples of Lowcountry. They are hoping - Shelby Sachs (Released in 1986 this is still Def Jam’s best this “word of mouth” tactic gets people selling album of all time. Over 6 million EvENTS excited about coming out to their shows sold) Look out in December as Non and listening to their music. 6) 6) Public Enemy- It Takes A Nation Stop Hip Hop Live brings you their 10 thth Andy Lehman (vocals, rhythm guitar), of Millions to hold us back & Fight The Anniversary Celebration. It’s going to bebe John Fahr (lead guitar), John Pinkerton Power crazy. More details on the way!!! (bass), and Austin Hafer (drums) recently 7) 7) DMX- It’s Dark & Hell is Hot (Who played a show in Columbia where only Let The Dog Out!!!!) wORDS OF wiSDOM seven people showed up, and although 8) 8) 33rdrd Bass- The Cactus Album they were grateful to those lucky seven, (Products of The Environment!!!) Thank you Def Jam for over 25 they would like to start making a name 9) 9) Onyx- Bacdafucup (Angst, Anger & years of CLASSICS, here’s to another 25 for themselves in the Columbia area. $ making at its best) more. Be sure to stay safe!!! “We would like to reach Columbia in 10) Jay Z- Vol. 2 Hard Knock Life (Still increments larger than seven in the his best selling album…Classic) DJ KINGPIN-VILLIAN of VINYL future,” Hafer says. “It’s something to be 11) 11) Kanye West- Late Registration [email protected] earned, and we respect that and are ready (Truly his best album) to earn it.” Andy Lehman and The Night Moves live performances are very intimate and they want their fans to take something away from every song and concert. “We don’t just stand up on a stage and play memorized parts,” said Lehman. “What I want [the audience] to experience is that we are experiencing our music at the same time they are, and that it has meaning to us.” As a whole, their greatest goal as a band is to get their music out there in the best way possible. “The truth isn’t tting in,” said Hafer. “It’s sticking [it] out.” In order to make your mark in

noVemBer 5, 2009 13 Sx advic clumn SavageLove by Dan Savag I’m a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who system does. has been married four times—once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who’ve turned out I am in desperate need. I have been dating pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met a guy for two years. We’re both 25, and we love someone online: 48, a wealthy, educated man each other a lot. He’s sexy as hell (half Asian, with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt quarter Native, quarter black—he’s divine), lifestyle and is looking for a woman to marry we connect, he’s funny, upbeat, and honest. who would participate and enjoy this with him. Unfortunately, we have a recurring fight (once He says he “craves and needs” this lifestyle, or twice a month), and I wonder if we will ever and from what he’s said so far, the boys have resolve this issue. He likes the attention of other been trained from an early age to also live this women. The fight goes like this: He will do lifestyle and would require that the woman he something borderline inappropriate with some marries include them in all ways. chick right in front of me (most recently, he had I’ve done some research and think I could 30 consecutive drunk-posts on Facebook with be quite happy being a dominant. However, my some 19-year-old he met through his roommate), concern is that he wants me to be sexual with the and I will get pissed and hurt. I approach him boys. He says that at home they practice familial calmly and say that it feels disrespectful and I nudity. He also wants me to take each one to a hope that one day we will come to an agreement hotel on their respective birthdays (he doesn’t on this issue. He swears that it is all in my head say at what age) and take their virginities. He and that I work myself up over nothing. But has also suggested that, once we are living sigh... the creep was into intergenerational sex he KNOWS it hurts my feelings, and my hurt together, if I wake up horny I should go to one and lousy spellers on top of everything else.) is made worse because he is disregarding my of the boys’ rooms and “grind my cunt into his Now: If this man and his children exist, feelings. He usually gets mad, says he “didn’t face and fuck the boy.” I think this is excessive NTC, he’s abusing his children and they should do anything wrong” and he “can’t talk to me and could traumatize the boys. I don’t know if be removed from his home immediately. He’s anymore,” and then I won’t hear from him for this type of extreme behavior is just fantasy for scum, NTC, as is any woman who would a day or so. him or if he is serious. for a moment contemplate shacking up with I have friends telling me that this is a If I like this man after meeting him, I would this piece of shit. Because, again, what your deal breaker and that I am being emotionally consider this lifestyle, but with boundaries Interwebs friend describes is not the “cuckoldt abused. I don’t know if I believe that—I think he where the boys are concerned. As the dominant, lifestyle,” it’s the rape and systematic sexual just needs to work on boundaries. I just had a what I say goes, no questions asked (he has abuse of children. A man who is i nto cuckolding “come to Jesus” talk with the boy, and he still agreed to this in a recent IM), but I think we gets off on his wife having consensual sex with feels like he didn’t cross any lines and refuses need to find a balance. other adult men, not his children; a woman to apologize. But to make me feel guilty, he said I’m interested in your thoughts on all of this. into cuckolding gets off on “cheating” on her he will “never post anything on another girl’s Thank you. husband with other adult men, not her minor Facebook page ever again.” That’s not what New To Cuckholdting stepchildren. I wanted. Now my face hurts from crying, and Once again for the record: I don’t think I want someone sane to tell me which way is What do I think? I’m thinking—and hoping this guy is for real or that these kids exist. I up. Whose side are you on? I would actually and praying—that this letter is complete bullshit. think some creepy pervert is sitting in front be happier if you told me that I was crazy and And I think I’m gonna go boil my laptop of a computer furiously rubbing ‘em out as controlling, because altering my own attitude after writing this response. And I think I’m he chats with you. Interacting with someone is a lot easier than trying to get through to him. tempted to forward your e-mail on to the police. on the web who believes that he’s telling the Pleeeeeease help. And I think I would do just that if I wasn’t truth—someone who believes that he’s wealthy, Hurting In Oregon convinced that this man with whom you’ve been educated, and has two boys at home anxious to corresponding—assuming you exist, NTC—is be sexually abused by a woman old enough to Ah... a nice, normal problem to cleanse the just another creepy pervert furiously beating be their grandmother—turns him on. And so he palate after the shit sandwich that opens the off in front of a computer as he spins out his lurks online until he lands someone gullible and column this week. insanely creepy sexual fantasies for a gullible morally bereft enough to buy in. I’m not on anyone’s side in this dispute, HIO. online audience of one. Okay! Let’s end with a note about standards You sound like an insecure, passive-aggressive and practices here at Savage Love: I typically  Slice Night “h e liveS the CuCkoldt lifeStyle and iS looking for a woMan to Marry who would partiCipate and enJoy thiS with hiM . h e SayS he “ CraveS $1.25 and needS” thiS lifeStyle, and froM what he’S Said So far, the boyS have been trained froM an early age to alSo live thiS lifeStyle and  would require that the woMan he MarrieS inClude theM in all wayS.” 2 for 1 Medium 2 toppings But two details lead me to believe that there change identifying details in a letter—exact guilt tripper, and the boyfriend sounds like could actually be a four-times-married, thrice- ages, number of divorces, number of children— an inconsiderate flirt. You’ve been having the (Dine in Only!) divorced, once-widowed moral bankrupt out lest someone inadvertently out themselves to same fight twice a month for two years. Enough there receiving e-mails and IMs from a man their family and friends. I didn’t do that in already. If the sex, the connection, and his race- who claims to be into “the cuckoldt lifestyle,” NTC’s case, because I’m praying to God that— based divinity don’t compensate for the flirting, “familial nudity,” and the sexual abuse of his if NTC exists—one of her children sees this end this relationship. If they do, HIO, stay with adolescent children: your age and your inability letter and recognizes dear ol’ Mom. And if her him—but only if you can stop policing his 341 S. Woodrow St. to spell “cuckold.” If a creep with child-rape kids are reading: Hey, guys, it’s time to take interactions with other women and stop bitching fantasies wrote this letter, NTC, you wouldn’t Mom’s cars keys, credit cards, and computer about the flirting to him, to your friends, and Corner of Woodrow and Rosewood) be 67 going on 68 with reservations. You would away. Dementia has set in, or Mom’s been to me. be 37 at the most with DD breasts, and you demented all along. Either way, she’s a danger would’ve spelled cuckold correctly. (Unless... to herself and others, and you might want to [email protected] stage an intervention before the criminal- justice 803.252.6931 14 noVemBer 5, 2009 OBama’s real deatH PaNels PRESiDENT MAiNTAiNS “RigHT” TO KiLL AMERiCAN CiTizENS

BByy tteded rrallall they is. Again, there is no Shortly after distinction between 9/11, George W. foreigners and U.S. Bush secretly signed citizens. two executive Jose Padilla, the so- orders. Both violated called would-be “dirty basic constitutional bomber” held in a Navy protections as well as brig since 2002, was tried U.S. obligations under and convicted of such international treaties, “material support” charges yet both carried the in 2007. (The government force of law. couldn’t prosecute Padilla They still do. for their original dirty The first bomb charges because order grants the they had tortured him so president (and other severely that he had been officials, including the secretary of defense, reduced to mental mush.) the secretary of homeland security and Now that times have supposedly changed, presumably certain postal clerks) the right it’s time to ask: why hasn’t President Obama to declare anyone--including an American abrogated Bush’s controversial executive citizen--an “unlawful enemy combatant.” orders? If Obama truly seeks a break with A person so declared has no redress, no the lawlessness of the prior administration, way to appeal, no ability to challenge that what better way to enact it? designation. Once a person has been named Simply put, no one man--not even a nice, an enemy combatant, according to the Bush articulate, charismatic one--ought to claim Administration--and now to the Obama the right to suspend a person’s constitutional Administration--he has no rights. He can be rights. Not in America. Certainly no one held without charges forever, tortured, you man--not even a young, handsome, likeable name it--well, actually, the president or the one--should be able to have anyone he wants secretary of defense names it. whacked. Even in dictatorships, the right In the second covert executive of life and death is reserved for judges and order, Bush authorized the CIA to target and juries operating under a system purportedly assassinate said “enemy combatants”--again, designed to support impartiality and a search including American citizens. for the truth. These two documents first came But that’s not the case here in the United into play on November 3, 2002, when a States. In 2002 Scott Silliman, director of the CIA-operated Predator drone plane violating Center on Law, Ethics and National Security Yemeni airspace fired a Hellfire missile at a at Duke University asked: “Could you put car containing Qaed Salim Sinan al-Harethi, a Hellfire missile into a car in Washington, supposedly Al Qaeda’s #1 man in Yemen at D.C., under [the Bush] theory? The answer the time. is yes, you could.” U.S. officials didn’t know that an Nothing much has changed since then. American citizen, Kamal Derwish, was Obama has eliminated the use of the phrase riding along. (You know what they say about “enemy combatant,” but The New York hitchhiking.) “The Bush administration said Times reported that the change is merely the killing of an American in this fashion meant to “symbolically separate the new was legal…this is legal because the pres ident administration from Bush detention policies.” and his lawyers say so--it’s not much more The words may have changed, but Obama complicated than that,” CBS News reported attorney general Eric Holder’s definition of at the time. “I can assure you that no who can and cannot be held, said the Times, constitutional questions are raised here,” said is “not significantly different from the one Bush’s national security adviser, Condoleezza used by the Bush administration.” Rice, after the CIA assassinations. “He’s well These days, Obama has ramped up within the balance of accepted practice and the assassination of political opponents of the letter of his constitutional authority.” the U.S. and the U.S.-aligned authoritarian It’s right there in the Constitution regime in Pakistan, deploying more Predator between the right to tax and the repeal of drone plane attacks than Bush. But that’s just Prohibition. for now. Obama could still personally order a Anyway, Congress tried to clarify matters government agency to murder you. in the Military Commissions Act of 2006, Which is weird. But not nearly as weird part of which--the section that eliminated as the fact that you probably don’t care the writ of habeas corpus--got struck down enough to do something about it. by the U.S. Supreme Court last year. But the rest of the MCA remains in force, including (Ted Rall is the author of “To Afghanistan a passage that defines an enemy combatant and Back,” the first book about the 2001 as anyone who provides “material support” invasion of Afghanistan. Among its chapters to the “enemy.” And who is the enemy? The is one titled “How We Lost the Afghan enemy is anyone the president says it/he/she/ War.”) noVe,mBer 5, 2009 15 ¡Ask a Mexcan! DO MEXICANS THINK IT SUCKS TO BE SALVADORAN? Dear Mexican: For most time Mexico was too of my life, I was oblivious to busy dealing with another the hate that Mexicans have imperial power to care much for Salvadorans. I became about recouping its former aware of it when I made the holdings. And if you know huge mistake of marrying a anything about Mexico, it’s Salvi. Once I became engaged porque we don’t take thefts to my Salvi girlfriend or of our lands lightly. whenever I would tell any Mexican that I married a But that was then—this Salvi, I was bombarded with is ahorita, and there remains so much hate for Salvis! I’d no reason for the two get responses like “Eww, countries and its razas to hate a Salvi,” or “Damn, I feel each other. Presidents Felipe sorry for you—you married Calderón and Mauricio a Salvi!” I’m now divorced Funes met this summer and

and can’t stand anything BByy gUstavo are llano reached quite a few accords associated with El Salvador.. and bilateral agreements. My question, though, is where does the Stateside, wabs and Salvis might compete disgust for Salvis from Mexicans originate? for the same resources like other recent Former Pupusa Eater immigrants, but we’re both wetbacks in the eyes of the gabachos (and in the case Dear Mexican: Growing up, I never of Salvis, to echo the legendary Los Tigres noticed the difference between any Hispanic del Norte song, Tres Veces Mojados). Let’s person. Yo pensaba if you spoke Spanish, it make peace, Salvadorans—our rivalry is meant to me that you were Mexican (I was pointless, and the fruits of a union much little, okay?). Of course, as I grew up, I richer. Besides, hatred between nosotros started noticing all different kinds of Latinos merely blinds us to the menace between our but one in pa rticular were Salvis. I don’t know ancestral lands: Guatemala. how to explain it, but it’it’s like this feeling that was always there, but I didn’t know about Dear Mexican: In Northern California, it. It was dislike and rivalry toward them. I we have many Latino-themed murals on mean, don’t get me wrong: I don’t hate them; walls, buildings and storefronts. However, I just dislike them. And I wasn’t the only one! I’m told that in Mexico, such murals are I found out that many Mexicans feel this way, generally on the interiors of the buildings as do Salvadorans toward us. So, is this a (specically churches), where only the universal feeling? Am I wrong for feeling faithful or other insiders can see them. Is this this way? Are Mexicans and Salvadorans true? Do Mexican muralists hide their talents sudoku rivales? If so, por qué? away, while those in California are happy to have their work on display for everyone? La Gordis de Guadalajara Rivera Raver

Dear Wabs: Historically, the Mexican- Dear Gabacho: Not true. Maybe the Salvadoran rivalry that so many readers Catholic Church wants to withhold its correctamente note has a strong basis. artistic treasures like damning pedophile- Shortly after Central America gained priest personnel les, but the point of the its independence from Spain in 1821, Mexican mural movement was to create art Mexico tried to swallow the region into its for the masses and for public consumption— burgeoning empire. The fercest opposition and it remains so today. For more info on to this annexation? El Salvador. Eventually, perhaps the United States’ best collection of republic-minded Mexicans stopped their such murals, visit precitaeyes.org. country’s ambitions and allowed El Salvador and the other Central American provinces Ask the Mexican at themexican@ to create the United Provinces of Central askamexican.net America. That lasted until 1840, by which

16 noVemBer 5, 2009 te ra Remote AttAcks InflAme AfghAn AntI-AmeRIcAnIsm DROP THE DRONES knows that every “inadvertent “The killing of Afghan airstrike” prompts a certain number civilians, usually caused by of Afghans to join or support Afghan inadvertent American and NATO resistance forces. “Gentlemen,” he airstrikes, has become the most tells a morning briefing of NATO sensitive issue between the generals, “we need to understand the Afghans and their Western guests.” implications of what we are doing. So reports The New York Times Airpower contains the seeds of our Magazine in the latest installment own destruction. A guy with a long- of its ongoing “There’s a new barrel rifle runs into a compound, general in charge and he’s cool and we drop a 500-pound bomb on and maybe he can win the war” series. it? If we lose airpower irresponsibly, we can This decade’s war: Afghanistan. week’s star: lose this fight.” Later that day, the Times General Stanley McChrystal. Alas, poor reporter who recorded that statement wrote, Petraeus, we hardly knew ye. McChrystal said he planned on “banning As a World War II buff, I mourn the fact bombs and missiles in populated areas unless that the Magazine wasn’t around in 1943. his men were in danger of being overrun.” Imagine the over-the-top insensitivity: “The An improvement, no doubt. But in killing of Jews, usually caused by inadvertent Afghanistan and everywhere else, all use of German and Axis deportations, has become airpower is irresponsible. Whether piloting the most sensitive issue between the French a B-52 at 35,000 feet or wiggling a joystick and their Teutonic guests.” 8,000 miles away, fighting a war at a distance “Inadvertent” airstikes? means chucking ordnance willy-nilly into “Guests”? people and situations you can’t see or know Many of the botched airstrikes have been anything about. carried out by Predator drone planes remote- And those people will hate you for it. controlled by CIA and USAF personnel In the short term, remote drone warfare watching computer screens thousands of offers the tantalizing prospect of killing your miles away. One click of a mouse and a enemies without risking your own forces. Hellfire missile bearing a 20-pound blast “In Pakistan, a CIA-led program using fragmentation warhead zooms towards its Predator drones to hunt down and kill leaders target. Despite numerous killings of civilians, of Al Qaeda and the Taliban has proven drones are popular with the military because remarkably successful, even if controversial they keep soldiers out of harm’s way. within Pakistan itself,” reports the Times. Like a lot of ideas, it only seems like a “To date, American officials say, they have good one before you think about it. America’s killed 11 of the top 20 Al Qaeda leaders, obsession with protecting its own people without having to launch large-scale military is at the heart of Afghans’ contempt for the operations across the border.” U.S. occupation. And Afghan resentment is In the long term, however, the geopolitical the biggest reason the war effort has been risks eclipse any short-term gains. Note doomed from the start. the “even if.” Drone plane attacks brought To Afghans on the ground, drones Pakistani anti-Americanism to a boil and led symbolize American callousness and project to the collapse of the dictatorship of General a smug sense of superiority. Because they Pervez Musharraf, a U.S. ally. Meanwhile, protect us at the Afghans’ expense. New Yorkork like most cell-based guerilla organizations, Times reporter David Rhode, the journalist Al Qaeda’s structure ensures that no man kidnapped by neo-Taliban militants and held is indispensable. It simply appointed new in Afghanistan and Pakistan for nine months, members to the positions vacated by the describes their “terrifying presence”: Hellfire victims. “Remotely piloted, propeller-driven If the U.S. occupation of Afghanistan airplanes, they could easily be heard as they is destined to fail, it would be nice to see circled overhead for hours. To the naked it end with more dignity. In an ideal world, eye, they were small dots in the sky. But President Obama would sign legislation their missiles had a range of several miles. outlawing the manufacture, deployment or We knew we could be immolated without use of Predator and similar drone bomber warning.” technology, and urge other nations to do the To the dead, death is death--how you die same. In a somewhat decent world, he would doesn’t matter in the end. To the living, it’s withdraw rather than send more troops to all that matters. Afghanistan. And in the crappy world we Would you rather lose the love of your call home, the least we can do is kill Afghans life to a drunk driver? Or because she with flesh-and-blood soldiers rather than rushed into a burning building to save a drone planes. child? Afghanistan is a martial society. As (Ted Rall is the author of “To Afghanistan an Afghan, how would you rather lose your and Back,” the first book about the 2001 son--in the heat of battle or to some alien invasion of Afghanistan. Among its chapters contraption buzzing around in response to is one titled “How We Lost the Afghan the movement of a joystick in Virginia? War.”) Unlike his predecessors McChrystal noVemBer 5, 2009 17 jonesin’ crosswords “2 Funny”--i’z in ur crosswurd, makin u solv. Across 58 Adjective for Porky Pig and 27 Jai ___ (fast-moving sport) 1 Paparazzo’s need Sylvester 30 Four-wheelers, e.g. 5 Actor Sharif 59 See 49-across 31 Barney’s hangout 9 Prex meaning “one tenth” 63 Grandmas, to some 32 Amorphous mass of goo 13 Bread spreads 64 Jessica of “The Love Guru” 33 When doubled, an island in the 15 1990s electronic music party 65 Former Israeli prime minister South Pacic 16 Worst of the population Olmert 34 Wiccan salutation 17 Insurance company with TV ads 66 Muse of love poetry 36 Have ___ (party it up) featuring cavemen 67 “In ___ of owers...” 39 Come in last 18 Rate Jennifer Lopez’s newest 68 Uses nger paint, say 40 It may have attachments alter ego? 69 Actor Gold of the Fox series 41 First designated spot at a swimswim 20 Like some marble designs on “Stacked” meet, perhaps furniture 46 Former Montreal baseballer 22 The clap, e.g.: abbr. Don 47 On the schedule 23 Porcine pad 1 Common sense 50 Mutual city? 24 Time to phone your nearest 2 Verdugo of “Marcus Welby, 51 “Sugar is sweet and ___ you” Nabokov character? M.D.” 52 Historic record 28 “Brother” of Bruno and Borat 3 Actor Sam of the “Jurassic Park” 53 “That’s cool!” 29 Aromatic, oily substance series 54 Vacuum cleaner inventor Sir 32 Grp. that issues fraud alerts 4 Orange County’s area, slangily James 35 “Commander in Chief” actress 5 Nonprot’s URL sufx 55 Shape of some hand mirrors Davis 6 Damage the surface 56 “Mystic Pizza” actress Taylor 37 Prex meaning “one quintil- 7 “Stop,” to a pirate 60 Oui, it’s water lionth” 8 Colorful identier for some Levi’s 61 Place for a round of dartsdarts 38 Got lazy for the sake of worship? 9 Cable Internet alternative: abbr. 62 Mag. bigwigs 42 Three-layered snack 10 Community of organisms 43 Biden’s boss 11 Extremely devoted group ©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (edi- 44 Ed.’s submissions 12 “If ___ be so bold...” [email protected]) 45 Choir section 14 Dirty condition For answers to this puzzle, call: 1- 48 Panache 19 Old Icelandic saga 900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. 49 With 59-across, Kojak’s bootleg 21 Portioned (out) Must be 18+. Or to bill to British porn title? 25 Deceive your credit card, call: 1-800-655- 55 Bullghting cheer 26 Yearly parody prize awarded at 6548. Reference puzzle #0438. 57 “The Ofce” character Harvard

18 NOvemBer 5, 2009 NOvemBer 5, 2009 19 Photo courtesy of Historic Columbia Foundation