15 MAY 2019 Marist College Enews Important dates Dear Marist Family, Now until Friday 31 May Risk-Averse Applications open for Years 4, 5, 6, 7 and 11 New York journalist Leonore Skenazy in 2008 wrote a newspaper for 2020 column in The New York Sun about allowing her nine-year-old Now until Thursday 16 May son to ride the subway alone in New York City! As she explained Year 6 Camp in her column, this was not a random act of neglect but a carefully Year 10 Trek structured exercise to empower her son, allow him a level of independence and enable an opportunity to develop his sense of Now until Friday 24 May self–reliance. NAPLAN Testing Year 5, 7 and 9 Her column sparked enormous debate. The positions were, as is Friday 17 May to be expected, quite polarised. At one extreme was an avalanche of support for her outspoken, 5I Class Assembly, 2.15pm, Junior School Hall yet common sense approach to parenting; at the other extreme was a tirade of protest from those Monday 20 May who dubbed her ‘America’s Worst Mom.’ School Photo Day 1 Skenazy believes parents have let themselves be swept up in one of the major obsessions of Tuesday 21 May our era: total safety for our children every second of the day, never letting them out of their sight. School Photo Day 2 She argues that adults have forgotten that ‘kids are competent; kids are capable; kids deserve Wednesday 22 May freedom, responsibility and a chance to be part of this world, not cooped up like, well….chickens.’ Year 9 Integration Day I share Skenazy’s view that we have developed into an overly risk-averse society and that for Year 10 Reflection and Service Day some parents, almost obsessively protective of their children. The problem is that we cannot Year 11 and 12 Study Day grow resilient adults unless we provide young people with opportunities to be stretched, to be Thursday 23 May challenged and to take risks. This is not to say we should behave neglectfully, rather we have a Year 10 Immunisation duty to give our children the tools to be contributing and effective adults. Year 12 Photo Our College, likewise has an important role, both inside and outside Friday 24 May the classroom to assist in giving the boys in our care the tools to grow Year 4-12 Cross Country into engaged, self-confident and resilient citizens. Outdoor education Marist College Canberra Foundation Blue and Blue programs are some of the more important aspects of the many rich Dinner, 6.30pm – 11.30pm, National Arboretum learning experiences that the College provides. These programs that are conducted in Years 8, 9 and 10 allow our boys to challenge Monday 27 May themselves in ways that are rare in our urbanised society. Our Year Reconciliation Day Public Holiday 10 students will soon return from a ten-day exemplary outdoor Friday 31 May education experience. These experiences will provide them with safe Chisholm House Day risks and safe challenges so that they learn to meet the unfamiliar, overcome difficulties, cope with discomfort and, at times, deal with ASC Cross Country consequences, while learning to cooperate, collaborate and coexist within a small group. Applications for Year 7 and Junior School for 2020 due These experiences are part of the compulsory component of the education program at this Monday 3 June College. Whilst some boys contest their involvement, it is very much our belief that the value of South Weston Primary Cross Country their participation is of great significance. Marist College Careers Expo, 4.30pm - 6.15pm Year 11 2020 Information Evening Celebrating Motherhood Tuesday 4 June The modern way of celebrating Mother’s Day has its roots back into seventeenth century Champagnat Day England. It was originally called “Mothering Sunday”, which was the fourth Sunday in Lent. In earlier times, the Mothering Sunday was the day when all the children who were away from their Wednesday 5 June homes were allowed to return home. Sadly, the children were away either learning a trade or to Year 9 Integration Day work as servants to earn a livelihood. Gradually, it became a tradition that on this day the family Year 11 and 12 Study Day would gather for a mid-Lenten feast in which the Mother was treated as the ‘Special Guest’. The visiting children would bring treats of cakes and wildflowers celebrating the day with their mothers. Despite the commercialisation of the day, the underlying message from original times remains true; communicating our love and thanks for our mothers. On the next page, I share Sarah Mahar’s (mother, sister, daughter, wife and Crispin House Dean) beautifully honest and moving account of the joys and challenges of motherhood that she gave at our Mothers’ Mass last week. Follow Marist College Canberra on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! Continued on next page ... Submissions: [email protected] Enquiries: (02) 6298 7200 Web: www.maristc.act.edu.au MARIST COLLEGE ENEWS | 15 MAY 2019 FROM THE HEADMASTER CONTINUED... “Although we are a school for boys, Marist College Canberra places Boys I now have something to reveal to you, even when you are not a strong emphasis on Mary and focuses on her qualities of strength, perfect, your mother still loves you. patience, presence and love in our lives. With this in mind I have contemplated what would Mary be like as a mother in today’s world? My own son, like most boys like to test this: wet towels on the ground, not making your bed, leaving dirty, wet, sweaty socks or clothes in your I would like to think that Mary would abide by the reference to bag, wet, footy boots in the car, drinking all the milk and yes while that mothering by author Jill Churchill who said, “There’s no way to be a does definitely push the friendship….we still love you. This same sweet perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” After 20 years of son of mine at the age of 12, when I was having a challenging time being a mother, I have learnt this is definitely true. with my teenage daughters, reassured me that I should not worry, they were both in a cocoon, and during this time they would be difficult to I would like to reveal something to you all today… I am not a perfect live with but when they came out of the cocoon they would be beautiful mother. again. He then told me not to be concerned because he did not intend to ever go into a cocoon. Of all the mothers I know, not a single one doesn’t want the best for her children. We’re all just taking it one day at a time, riding this roller Now he is 15, conversation is minimal, schoolwork is avoided and coaster the best we can. Perhaps some of you are mothering children Fortnite has become my method of bribery. Fortunately boys, even who are now yours through remarriage, adoption, or fostering. Friends when you forget to talk, study or don’t hand in a draft you are still loved. or family “mother” our children when we’re away, at work or at an On Monday night, we were packing for him to go to Trek. I asked my appointment. Some of you, both male and female, may be mothering son to do a couple of things while I went grocery shopping. I returned on your own and bravely providing for your family while also figuring home to find him sitting on the couch completely oblivious to my out solo parenthood. At least once a week, a boy in my class calls me request. I would like to say I was patient, I was kind and I gently helped mum, and at times my role as a teacher requires me to be a mum. I him. However, I was not, instead, I channelled the Hulk. This was not a do however draw the line at grandma which I have also been called. perfect mother moment. The reality was I was nervous of what the next However we became mothers, we know it’s a job that requires more two weeks would be like for him, how would he cope without me there strength and patience and love than we ever thought possible, and to guide, encourage and nag? we’ll never be able to do it all “perfectly.” I feel this experience is akin to what I imagine Mary would have had. She was distressed when Jesus was missing, relief mixed with anger when he was found and then realised that she needed to trust in God’s plan for Jesus, and be there as a guide and support for her son. Just as I have sent my boy off to Trek, and I am missing him, but I am hoping that the experience will teach him life lessons and continue to mould him into the fine young man that so many of the boys here today are becoming. I have learnt that as a mother I don’t need to be perfect. I have many like-minded and supportive mothers around me. To the mothers in the room, I encourage you to embrace the imperfection. There might be times when you are cranky, arrive late or miss a note, however with this comes the good parts - you are present, you laugh and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of being a mum. When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I envisioned I would be And to the boys, here’s what I know about being a mum, it comes from a perfect mother.