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25/02/99 The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper No 958
Election The House Big Analysis Hunter’s Diary Mac: The Final Hours A look at the problems of Surrey Pride p8-9 finding accommodation p5 Star Profile p15 The Boy D(one) Good!
fter four hours of Communications Officer Rugby Club erupted when it (elect) shouted over the noise nail biting tension Tom Sherwen. emerged that their captain of his supporters: "I'm just Athe excitement and Ben had clinched it. glad it's all over. I feel so sorry expectation in Wates House Methodically yet with a Meanwhile Ewen stood dig- for those who didn't win grew to a crescendo. 12 stu- sense of the drama Tom read nified in defeat. Nothing his because it was such a good dents stood with baited out the results. As the win- supporters could do or say campaign." His rugby squad breath, waiting for the ners became apparent, the mattered anymore. team mate and President to be words that would decide the common bond of apprehen- Ben Davis quoted Charles next 12 months of their sion divided into camps of Other Sabbatical election Dickens as his assessment of lives. jubilation and commisera- winners were confirmed as: the elections: "It was the best tion. Roars of approval were Communications & of times it was the worst of The 1999 Students’ Union mirrored by groans and Marketing: Andy Blair, times, but it was worth it." Election came to it’s grand shaken heads. As the victors Finance & Societies: After two weeks of intensive finale last Friday. When the cheered, the defeated stood Marcus Mayers, Student campaigning, future Finance polls closed at 3pm all con- with tears in their eyes. Support & Development: & Societies Officer Marcus cerned retired to bar of Sarah McGuire, Education Mayers could only say he was Wates House while the votes Dan Taylor, Ben McCauley & Welfare Emma Sale. The “emotional”. Sarah McGuire were counted. The account and Shelly Hygate, all run- title of NUS delegation was “happy on the one hand” of those “final hours”, writ- ning for position of Sports leader was bestowed upon about becoming Support & ten in the candidates own Officer were huddled current Union President Development Officer “but dis- words can be found in the together in a group hug as Harriet Sims. The incredible appointed for the other people election special on the cen- the announcements came. result of a 97% Yes To NUS who didn’t win.”. “Can we tre pages of this issue. Dan couldn’t bear to watch. vote was also delivered. have 12 sabbaticals next When it emerged he had year?!" she suggested wildly. Eventually, weary but smug- lost, Ben, the winner was Once the results were fin- ly all knowing, the vote the first to literally give him ished the winners rushed out- The unsuccessful candidates counters emerged from their a shoulder to cry on. side to celebrate with cham- were harder to track down as bunker. All present crowded pagne. The losers either they crept away from the around, anxious to hear the The outcome of the melted away or hung around limelight. 2nd placed presi- decisions of the Surrey elec- Presidential election was to drown their sorrows. Once dential candidate Ewen Ben Davis - The President Elect torate. Not surprisingly saved until last. Following the initial euphoria and shock Ferguson spoke about his Returning Officer Celine the first count it became clear had died down we managed failed bid for the top job: "I Thompson also had his ing but excellent, brilliant Gordine-Wright had lost her that it was a two horse race to get a few quotes. would have regretted not future mapped out: "I'm fun." Sabbatical Tom voice and she deferred between Ewen Ferguson and going for it” he said “I might going to Africa to work for Sherwen who worked exten- responsibility for announc- Ben Davis (Boy D). The Firstly the triumphant: Ben travel now instead." 3rd Oxfam”. Nick Walsh who sively with Celine to ensure ing the result to crowd dominated by the McCauley, Sports Officer position man Kyle ran for Communications & the election’s success com- Marketing Officer and was mented “Brilliant elections... the only 2nd year involved an exciting result but not said “I’m relieved-it’s a enough nudity. My heart goes weight off my mind but it’s out to those who didn't win." been great fun as well.” The newly elected Union President, Harriet Sabbaticals will begin their Sims who went through the jobs in June and work along election ordeal 12 months side the present team for a ago said "It just takes me hand over period of one back to last year. It's horrible month. However they are for all the candidates who already becoming involved didn't get elected and it's in top Union decisions. great for those that did" These include the Colours Ball and redesigning the Celine, the Returning Officer layout of the sabbatical Ben Mac Marcus Mayers Emma Sale thanked all the candidates for office complex. Andy Blair Ben Davis Sarah Maguire taking part. Talking about her own job she said “It was tir- by James Buller News 1&2 n Features 3 n Union 4 n Accommodation 5 n Entertainments Guide 7 Elections 8/9 n Music 10/11 n What’s On 12 n Comedy 13 n Personals 14 n Surrey Pride 15/16 STUDENT COUNCIL - Tonight - Thursday - 6pm - LTD ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:24 Page 2 (1,1)
2 25/02/99 News in Brief An Open Letter from the Returning Officer by James Buller Kosovo Talks and his accomplices were said would like to thank every- year 534 forms were sent out, Officer, although I spent a lot of to be “straight out of hell” Editor one who got involved in the more than ever before. time and effort trying. Partially sporting Nazi SS style light- Tom Sherwen I1999 Sabbatical and NUS However, I freely admit that not Successful ning bolt tattoos. The court elections, whether as candi- all placement students were I feel I am an approachable per- watched a 11 minute video ([email protected]) dates, campaigners or voters. I able to receive a voting form. son, and if anyone has a prob- showing the 2.5 mile-long trail The Kosovo Liberation Army believe the elections went very This was mainly due to the lem with the way in which this of blood and metal that Byrd and Serbia have come to an smoothly and I would like to enormity of the task of collating election has been conducted, I left behind as he was dragged Deputy Editor interim agreement about their take this opportunity to con- appropriate addresses- I would would welcome your com- along by a pickup truck with a troubles. After 17 days Vacant gratulate our new Sabbaticals like to request that all students ments, which can be sent to the logging chain around his ensconced inside a French and our NUS delegates, and going on placement next year Returning Officer’s pigeon hole ankles. Pathologist Thomas chateau, the two sides have commiserate those who missed who wish to vote in the Union in the Union, and which will be Brown reported how Byrd’s Arts Editor made progress towards peace. out. elections please ensure that they collated for the benefit of next limbs had been ground to the Daniel Jones inform both their department year’s Returning Officer. bone, and how his decapitation The Kosovars have won a con- ([email protected]) In response to a couple of per- and the Union Placements In the meantime, I hope you was caused by hitting a con- ditional agreement on semi- sonals in last week’s BareFacts, Officer of their address other- enjoyed the election, and may crete drain. autonomy for their region I would like to inform you that wise we have no way of getting be even feel inspired to get while Serbia has got some News Editor as returning officer I worked forms to you. We have neither involved next year King’s defence centred on get- assurances that it’s citizens will James Buller hard to ensure that as many the budget nor the time to ting him off an extra charge of be protected within Kosovo. kidnapping. If he is convicted ([email protected]) placement students as possible search for you, and frankly that Céline Gordine-Wright received voting forms, and this is not the remit of the Returning Returning Officer of this related crime then he French Foreign Minister will be eligible for the death Features Editor Hubert Vedrine has been chair- sentence, rather than life ing the talks. He said that the Nick Walsh “Disabled Friendly?” imprisonment. Three character delegations will come to a new witnesses were presented to the ([email protected]) round of negotiations starting his Uni was quoted to but, I have, after all, become are, in whateverway, court to vouch for King. One on March 15th. Then they will was a convicted burglar and me as one being 'dis- one of the "intellectually labelled disabled. Not all of discuss how to implement the Music Editor sex offender while another said Tabled friendly'. And, prized" members of this them will or even could do a ideas outlined so far. King was a hard worker, but Andrew Thomas to be fair, I have to say that society. university course, but, think that he had fired him after an Serbia has been criticised for ([email protected]) Estates and Accommodation of the millions who could, if argument. have tried to make the nec- Student Needs, do their given the appropriate helps. not grasping the olive branch of essary improvements to the best- but just listening to us Universities could invest peace. The KLA has agreed in principle to the proposed deal Sports Editor campus and housing, here does little good, if "nothing millions and it would never Referee Kills Paul Cliff and now wants to consult with [the ramps outsidethe is to be done for now, but we be enough, but, think of the it’s members. The Serbs how- Player ([email protected]) Union, being one example]. are hoping to introduce this income so many 'wasted' ever have put up stumbling However, what cannot be scheme, in the next few minds could make. Their blocks, including resisting the A South African football refer- corrected, is peoples atti- years". I admit that such investment would be repaid, calls for a Nato peace keeping Commercial Manager ee is to appear in court charged force to be deployed in the tudes to us 'spacs, spangles, things as scanners and talk- many times over. More with shooting a player dead. In Vacant area. cripples, blind bats etc.'. ing computers for the blind, importantly, think of the a match watched by 600 people People assume that having decent wheelchair facilities kudos any establishment in Johannesburg, the “Try US Secretary of State an accident [or disease], and Emergency boxes of could reap in publicising Agains” were playing the Madeleine Albright said “We renders one mentally incom- likely medication, are their spac-friendly attitudes. “Wallabies”. When the trailing have decisively broken the “Try Agains” got a goal to petent, such that we get con- expensive, but, by investing stalemate that hung over make the score 2:1 a fused, forgetful or simply in such things, now, this Uni That which doesn't kill us, Kosovo for so long,” not capable of logical could send a clear message makes us strong ! “Wallabies” player charged at Deadline for Publication the man in black with a knife. thought. I cannot say that of hope to all those forgot-
25/02/99 3 The Hazel Farm Dilemma: Hairtec Hazel Farm Society survey reveals it all ince the Hazel Farm seat first time round, which can there are no opportunities for it. Society was established be very frustrating. As a result This is very isolating. We are 24 Madrid Road Sin October 1998, we have 44% of respondents expressed very far form the student life of felt an urgent need to find out strong dissatisfaction and 34% campus and there is no com- more about the difficulties were dissatisfied with the num- pensation in terms of a student (01483)440414 experienced by students living ber of runs at the weekend. life here’. Many students sug- at Hazel Farm. A survey on the One comment was: gested that the Hazel Farm quality of living at Hazel Farm ‘We are completely isolated Communal Room should be con- Shampoo & Blow Dry from £9.00 was carried out during between 12.40 and 16.40 on verted into a bar. December 1998 with the pur- weekends and the public bus Cutting incl. Shampoo from £11.00 pose of establishing which doesn’t help very much, as there As the results of the survey, the Gents cut incl. shampoo from £8.50 aspects of transportation, facili- is only one bus every two hours’. committee of the Hazel Farm ties and entertainment needed Society arranged an informal Semi permanent Tint from £22.00 improvement With respect to the living con- meeting with Mr. Richard Permanent Tint £ from £25.00 ditions at Hazel Farm, students Paxton (Accommodation As we wanted the results of the demanded more equality in Manager) on the 28th January Highlights/Lowlights from £35.00 survey to reflect a fair represen- comparison to students living 1998 to discuss the further Permanent Wave from £32.50 tation of students living at the on campus. Many students actions towards the current different sites, the question- thought that it was unfair that responses. The meeting has KMS/Fudge Treatment from £3.00 naires were distributed accord- we do not have cleaners like yielded many encouraging Sets & Blow Drys included in all ingly. Of the 106 question- residents on campus. Only a results. Mr. Paxton agreed that naires returned, 49% came few students (12.3%) were sat- bus shelters should be build and Perming & Colouring Services, but excluding Cutting from Hamilton Close, 25% isfied. The condition of t bath- hoped they would be ready for from Hamilton Drive, 21% rooms and toilets cause griev- the next academic year. A new from Hamilton Place and 5% ance to 36.8% of the ques- telephone system has been Reduced Prices for Students from Oregano Way. tioned who expressed either investigated with the possibili- dissatisfaction or strong dissat- ty that it will provide every The major disadvantage for isfaction with the efficiency of room with its own phone and students living at Hazel Farm is maintenance. Students also an Internet connection at a con- Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive transportation. Students rely on demanded that there should be cessionaire rate. Cable TV is the coach service during the free phone lines to the also under investigation. Mr weekdays. This service pro- University. A high percentage Paxton also agreed to installing vides one bus every hour and a of students wanted a better a condom machine in the Lloyds minibus service in the evenings phone system, which accepts downstairs toilet of the and at weekends, which is less phone cards as well as coins. Communal Room as the survey Chemist frequent. The results show that revealed that students found it more than 50% of the respon- For the Cumberland Store difficult to purchase condoms dents are unhappy with the (nearest shop available by the nearby at night time. punctuality of the coach service Hazel Farm area, the survey Madrid with 29.2% being strongly dis- discovered that 62% of the With the results from the sur- The Astolat satisfied and 25.5% students respondents consider that the vey and an open-minded dis- GPA Road being dissatisfied. products’ costs are too high, cussion with the accommoda- and 55% were dissatisfied tion manager, we sincerely Apollo Video Store The results also show that 33% with the range of products hope that the Hazel Farm site x Newsagent of the students are strongly dis- available. The residents also can provide much better envi- Hairtec satisfied with the availability of suggest that there should be ronment for students, and the seats on the minibus. As the more fresh fruits and vegeta- Hazel Farm Society can serve minibus can take only up to 15 bles as well as toiletries, med- more happy faces living in this Wates House Staff & Postgraduate Club passengers, it often has to make ication and body products. land. second runs to the University. Presented by Jessica Hwang Many students complained In conclusion, the survey (President of the Hazel Farm Wates House was built in the with many a pub starting Interesting Times Lie about the lack of a queuing revealed that students at Hazel Society), Farida Rahim early 1970’s, situated towards leagues and competitions. The Ahead….. system for the bus service. Farm feel that there is a serious (Treasurer), Felicitas Grillo the top of Stag Hill. On one skittle alley is available for pri- Sometimes, even if you are lack of social activities existing in (Public Relations Officer), and side of Wates House you can vate hire, but it does make reg- During late April and all of among the first waiting for the the area. One response states that: Rani Palmon (Public Relations admire the grandeur of ular appearances during our May, there will be great pres- bus, you are not guaranteed a ‘There is no integration and Assistant). Guildford Cathedral, the other, WHoP nights where everyone sure on the catering outlets that you have a panoramic view of is free to join in! remain open. Wates House is the west side of campus and Along the bridge to one of these and it has plans to The ZACK GILPIN Show the surrounding villages. In the the east side of the building help alleviate some of the pres- summer time it is worth spend- takes you to the bar. It is a tra- sure! In our common room ing some time on our roof ter- ditional bar serving quality real area we plan to provide a fur- race admiring the view whilst ales (e.g. Abbot Ale £1.90 a ther 90 to 100 extra seats for a relaxing with a cool refreshing pint) and lagers (e.g. Carlsberg self service style lunch time. drink. In fact a cocktail £1.76 a pint) and a large range This is in addition to the main evening is the perfect way to of spirits. Wates Bar was also restaurant and will be open dur- unwind up here at the end of a one of the first to serve Extra ing the same hours. long week. cold Guinness which proves Lunch hours obvious- W H is a members very popular! Many a cocktail ly predict the busiest times for only club. Who’s a member? night has taken place here too! restaurants, but many people All university staff and post- The bar is open from 12 have the choice of when they graduates are members. Guests o’clock each day and shuts at 7 take theirs. Currently the major- can come along too, although p.m. on Monday’s and ity of members take their lunch they need to be “signed in” Tuesday’s, and 11 p.m. on hour from around 1 p.m., which which is done with our visitors Wednesday’s, Thursday’s and puts pressure on counter space in book from the bar. Friday’s. During the weekend the way of queues. If you wish At the west side of W H is normally shut, although to avoid these, a lunch hour the building we have a stage, during July it will be open 7 starting between 12 o’clock and ideal for speeches, presenta- days a week. 12.30 would be ideal. Rythmic Heat Bouncy Beat tions and audio visual equip- From the bridge is No matter what time At the Harlequin, Redhill on ment. We have a 55” television access to the Self Service you have lunch though, the staff with superb picture and sound Restaurant which is open 12 in W H are always efficient and Friday 23rd April 1999 quality, it makes perfect view- o’clock to 2 p.m. Monday to friendly, and aim to give you 9-11pm ing for events like football Friday. Adjacent to the restau- the best possible service, even matches, grand prix, and on rant are two private dining when you are in rush. Tickets £15 some WHoP nights (Wates rooms where advanced book- All ticket holders are entitled to a free invitation to appear in my next House Post Grad nights) it is ings are required. Please remember that the forth- used for playstation gaming There are rooms of coming months will be rather music video. A 1/500 chance of winning a return ticket to California, competitions! varied sizes available for meet- busy, and that the staff will be USA. Harlequin, Redhill BOX OFFICE We also have a new ings, presentations and dinners working hard to alleviate tel: 01737 765 547 skittle alley. This provides which are available for private queues, so please be patient and hours of entertainment for hire. understanding and the staff will email Zack on [email protected] groups of 15 to 40 people. It is be the same with you! an increasingly popular game ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:24 Page 4 (1,1)
4 25/02/99 STUDENTS AT WORK The Week in Review
emember the Student paigning on low pay, conditions o, election fever has one could easily believe that the members concentrating more mittee for a new design, maybe Rights Charter? It was and fair treatment of young reached its peak and died NUS still receives massive sup- on their political careers than next year a neo-classical greek launched in this Union workers. If your vision of a Sits death for another year. port from all it’s members. student issues. approach: marble pillars, and R The word on the street is that fountains with grapes on and many others across the trade union is a miner’s strike country last October to put stu- during the 80’s, then think we (the students of the NOW! Relax…sit back and The question we want to ask is bronze platters. University of Surrey) voted ease your mind away from the whether the large ‘yes’ vote at dent rights in the spotlight - again. With so many young 97% in favour of staying in world of NUS sponsored jour- this university is a result of Samad: Well then Laurence, finance, housing, child-care, people in work, the trade unions NUS. But have we ever been nalism…..The ‘Independent’ ‘mis-information’ or true pas- Bare Facts was pretty interest- employment, quality of teach- have had to modernise their given the full picture? In the (20/2/99) in an article sion and knowledge of the NUS. ing last week, huh? Laurence ing and fair complaints proce- image and culture. The TUC’s run up to the elections, Bare “Students revolt against the Hands up, how many of us real- (stoned hippy voice): dures. Over 800 Surrey stu- (Trade Union Congress) “New Facts printed an ‘NUS NUS” described a very differ- ly know how the NUS works? Maaan…..I still didn’t under- dents pledged their support for Unionism Campaign” aims to Referendum’ page. This page ent scenario. It’s here we start stand what those sports dudes the Charter on the National Day make trade unions more appeal- was more of an ‘advert’ for the to hear a different reality of On another note, in our humble are on about. Samad: What do of Action, co-ordinated by ing to young people and identi- NUS, than an objective evalua- NUS relations with their asso- opinion the Charter Ball was a you mean. Laurence: I still NUS. Financial Hardship is of fy the benefits of being a trade tion. (see ‘The Week in Review’ ciated universities. The article success. Though oft’ described can’t make out what sports growing concern to many stu- union member. The campaign BF Issue 956) highlights growing dissent as an FNO in tuxedo’s, we felt they’re on about. Samad: dents and is a focus for the is aimed at students in school or between the NUS and Leeds that a much more relaxed Maybe someone in the know Charter: “Free Tuition paid by at University and introduces Last week the front page article and Newcastle universities. We atmosphere prevailed through- should publish a booklet the State”, “Study free from issues such as health and safety, of Bare Facts (Issue 957) also hear how the Manchester out. Unfortunately the event explaining all their abbrevia- hardship” and “A decent wage the role of trade unions, rights “Putting Students First” Institute of Science and was marred by the early closure tions and in jokes. Samad and for part time work”. The intro- at work and the future of work. described the massive vote of Technology voted to disaffiliate of the casino, foiling our plans Laurence (singing):Then we duction of tuition fees, rising confidence from the University from the NUS. This article of cornering the plastic token can all be part of Surrey Pride! costs of living and the forth- The Low Pay Commission of Birmingham in favour of describes NUS as a springboard market. Congratulations to the By Laurence Jones and coming introduction of the min- (LPC) found that many young NUS. Based on this information, for future labour MP’s with Union and Charter Ball com- Samad Masood imum wage on 1st April this people are working in the low- year has once again thrust hard- est paid sectors of the job mar- ship to the forefront of student ket, such as Retail, Hospitality, Yes! But yes to what? politics and provided further Cleaning and Security. These focus for the issue of students at workplaces generally have very his week Surrey students cies, but there may be more to turnout was to occur at a parlia- try? With UMIST already dis- work. Do you know your low levels of trade union mem- voted in a referendum on this result than meets the eye. mentary general election, those affiliated, Leeds wanting rights? bership but are the areas need- TNUS membership and who believe in democracy change and Newcastle voting ing it most. This is why the 97% wanted to remain affiliat- Firstly, there has been no real would certainly question the later this month, we should In the 1970’s, around 30% of trade unions are taking a close ed. Meanwhile in Birmingham debate at the University of legitimacy of the result. It consider whether our “yes” was under 20’s were enrolled in edu- look at student life and how to around 65% of those voting Surrey about the pros and cons could be that those here that did a yes to NUS as it is now, or as cation. The Office of National integrate young people into believed the NUS to be a good of NUS affiliation. Any attempt not vote were expressing their it could be: changing the sys- Statistics (ONS) now put this their membership. Not know- thing while in Leeds the student at debate has been leapt upon as democratic right not to do so, tem from the inside to make an figure at almost 70%. Life-long ing how to contact young peo- newspaper published a damn- if it were criticism and con- however, it seems far more NUS which provides student Learning will continue to influ- ple directly or promote them- ing article calling NUS “the demned, and during the elec- likely to be an expression of the services at the same time as ence the changing make-up of selves effectively, the trade student arm of the Labour tion period extra effort was supposedly mythical “student being an effective and non- our student population, leaning unions have recognised the Party” and a training ground for made to market the “yes” cam- apathy”- do students here not politically aligned lobby group more towards mature students NUS as an effective communi- prospective New Labour MPs. paign- even to the extent of care who runs their union as a for students. After all, how can and post-21 study. Research by cation tool to millions of young The “Leeds Student” also NUS leaders visiting Surrey to sabbatical, or represents them a complex issue be addressed the NUS shows that the amount people all over the country. The expressed dissatisfaction with promote the message to ordi- on a national level via NUS? So when a referendum only gives a of money available to students basic rights of students at work the NUS action on tuition fees nary student voters. Every can- is it really true that 97% of all basic answer to a basic question has not risen in line with the highlighted by NUS are exactly and called for nation-wide didate standing for a sabbatical our students believe that we and does not allow for different costs of being a student. Rents the issues on which trade action to oust the New Labour post campaigned in favour of should remain NUS-affiliated? shades of opinion to be are set to rise by an average of unions have been campaigning political aspirants from NUS NUS and therefore there was Perhaps we’ll never know expressed? Now that we’ve 5% - more than twice the rate of for many years, albeit to a leadership. no consolidated “no” cam- because, in our democratic sys- confirmed our commitment to inflation and the cost of living slightly more mature member- paign. tem, voting is a matter of NUS perhaps its time for a full continues to rise. The average ship. United in their cause, So why did Surrey students choice not of coercion, so, tech- and frank discussion on what income for students living out- NUS and the trade unions have vote so overwhelmingly in Secondly, despite all the hard nically, it is perfectly okay not we want from NUS and how side London is £3,540. After joined forces. favour? Certainly this result is a work and excellent organisa- to have voted. this can be achieved. deducting average accommoda- gift for NUS- it would be sur- tion of the elections, only about tion costs, students are left with On Monday, NUS held a one- prising not to hear it quoted as one tenth of Surrey students So, are we out of tune with By: Jo Keech & Marcus just £23.10 per week to cover day seminar - “Students at proof of support for NUS poli- actually voted. If such a low other students around the coun- Mayers (NUS delegate) food, clothes, bills and travel. Work” - at the UNISON head- Job seekers allowance provides quarters in London. I have to housing benefit and is worth an say I was a little cynical at first, Rocking the Hall Bar additional £39.85 per week. Is it but I had a really interesting fair that students who choose to day. There were presentations It was the eve of the and the saxophones as the band develop their education have to from the Low Pay Commission, Charter-ball and the Union blasted their way in through old endure such crippling hardship? UNISON, the GMB and NUS was closed while stage crew favourites, led by conductor representatives, as well as made a valiant attempt to dis- Jaime Cordell. Their whole per- This kind of poverty forces stu- workshops covering Job Shops, guise it, so where else was there formance radiates a love of play- dents to work. Ninety percent a forthcoming national for a load of work weary and ing music, and a confidence that of students work part-time, of “Students at Work” survey and thirsty students to go other they are playing it well. whom 10% are paid less than Introducing trade unions to than the Big-band gig in the There were also a stunning solos £1.96 per hour. The need to Students. This University Hall bar. Please send answers on by many of the members, partic- supplement income means that stands to gain from increased a postcard because there must ularly the one by the fresher clar- students often take jobs offering awareness of trade unions and have been something good hap- inetist, Pete Jewitt, which shamefully low pay, poor con- joining up whilst still studying. pening that night (somewhere deserves a special mention. ditions and unsuitable working With over 80% of our students other than the Hall bar) to excuse Maybe all those people who hours. The introduction of the undertaking some kind of pro- the poor attendance at this excel- have been moaning about the EU Working Time Directive fessional placement training lent musical evening. variable quality of the Sunday and the National Minimum and many other students taking There was no evidence of the night live bands should try the Wage look set to benefit stu- on part-time as well as study- disharmony that has been Big-band for size. dents, but it does depend on ing, trade unions clearly have a rumoured between the trumpets Lindsay Endean. individual employers, who role in developing student must adhere to the law, and employment at Surrey. The day workers knowing their rights. concluded with a plenary ses- Many students are forced to sion to launch the Minimum work simply to pay the bills and Wage Campaign and some use- eat. One in five students drop ful ideas on Students’ Unions out of University before com- working with trade unions. pleting their course - a major Watch out for more information reason for this is thought to be and events at this Union and if financial hardship. Enter the you’re going on placement next trade unions. year or are doing any part-time work, keep an eye out for your Trade Unions can be very effec- friendly trade union rep! tive in promoting good practice Harriet Sims, Union employers and for tough cam- President ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:24 Page 5 (1,1)
25/02/99 5 3 Steps to Finding a House - The House-hunters Diary.
irst years, it may still ahead. One house of students ing up and down like a caged seem as though you have Step 2 that I visited explained why the animal straining to be free, and The Lodger’s Life Fonly just arrived at Try and be one move ahead of sink was hanging of the bath- chanting, “I must get a house, I University but already two the pack. Be prepared for the room wall and asked if we must get a house...”. Get your by Jim Bull thirds of the academic year production of the accommoda- would kindly not repeat the group around a paper as fast as have flown by faster than a tion office paper by going to story to their landlord. It had possible and decide which rugby player mounting apparently given way when a houses you like the look of then owards the end of my stopped and I managed to put look at any student houses you first year I was invited the dog lead on him. I began theVarsity Centre stairs to the know of, with the rest of your couple had tried to have sex on get on the phone and arrange bar, and despite the fact that it during a party some weeks some viewing times. This is Tto live in a property to take him back to the road group. If you don’t know of any you are still officially a earlier, the girl involved now where your preparation will managed house in Bellfields. when he strained on the lead student houses try knocking on However, it was three miles and it broke. Bruno scarpered “Fresher”, there are already the doors of houses with a row also had some interesting pay off because you will ominous rumblings coming tap-shaped bruises on various already have a good idea of the away on a steep hill on the for the second time. of wine bottles in the front win- other side of Guildford. I He spied a cat and from the general direction of dow. This is a fairly sure sign of parts of her anatomy. The stu- house you want and you can the accommodation office as dents assured as that the piece arrange to see contracts without started to have doubts and naturally ran after it. The cat student occupation. Some decided that I would look for jumped for safety over a gate they prepare to kick you out of departments have particularly of wood holding it up was per- first going around a dozen other the proverbial nest that is fectly safe (presumably until houses only to find that the first a room in a private house. I with Bruno not far behind. good houses which they guard started by printing out the When I arrived Bruno was on-campus accommodation, to jealously and pass down to the next time some one tries to one you wanted has already make way for the patter of next have sex on it). gone. If you don’t find some- whole accommodation office having a heated argument each new generation of second website and after crossing with another dog behind the year’s tiny fresher feet, and into years. One such house which I If you find a house that you thing suitable straight away the struggle, of evolutionary are all happy with while doing don’t worry and do try to out hundreds of “female gate. presently the owner of visited on Weston road was only” adds and an evening of the house came out and proportions, that is the hunt for incredibly cheap at £30 per this then you are quite within restrain yourself from commit- off-site accommodation in your rights to ask for the land- ting acts of extreme violence continous phoning I arranged demanded that I do some- week. However rumour has it to see three rooms. Within a thing. Thankfully the woman Guildford. Only the fittest will that it is only held up by a four lord’s number and ring them up against the smug gits on your survive (if all second-years are before the paper comes out. It’s floor who insist on telling you week I had a room in a house helped me get Bruno on the leave clover plant which grows off Northway. My only con- lead and I pulled him away. to be believed), so make sure outside the front door sneaky but it does save a lot of about the dream house they that you are well prepared. trouble later. have just bagged. Many houses cern was the huge dog called That was not the Preparation will not only give Bruno that belonged to the end of my adventures with you some idea of what you will are not advertised in the proper- ty paper and only come up Landlord. my new canine friend. Step 1 be paying for, but will also help Step 3 24 hours after Within the week he had man- Find some suitable you get to know the territory, The accommodation paper weeks later on the accommoda- tion notice board or webpage. moving in disaster struck. I aged to lock himself in the house-mates (see our guide to most first years have never comes out. opened the front door to go bathroom. We had to smash choosing house-mates) and been further than Tescos on one At the end of the day there is no easy answer to find a house out and Bruno made a bid for the bolt off the door to let her then guard your group from the side of campus and Cindy’s on By this time your group will freedom. I grabbed for his out. marauding approaches of other the other and certainly don’t yet probably have already fallen because the truth remains that there is a shortage of suitable collar but he snarled and I get a good deal groups hoping to pick off a few know their Park Barns from out and reformed several times made to bite me. Swearing I by living here. I pay £60pw of your house-mates to make their Bellfields. It can also give and there is a bald patch devel- accommodation, however tak- ing a few risks, working as a grabbed a dog lead and some including bills and my land- up the numbers in their house. a revealling insight as to what oping in the carpet where you biscuits and set off in pursuit. lady does my washing. I have you san expect in the year have spent sleepless nights pac- team, and having a bit of luck can help enormously. Bruno had disap- the run of the house complete peared. I scoured the streets privacy whenever I want, and until I spotted him. I gave a TV in my room. It is an chase and Bruno lopped eas- short cycle ride to the univer- RADIO & TV Rentals ily away. The housing estate sity and there is a parade of Renting a house may well Student deals - contract petered out and Bruno ran shops nearby. Given the be the first step but renting 9 month contract into the fields. Eventually he chance I would do it again. Radio Rentals - the equipment needed to TV and Video Free repairs watch Countdown and save Collect/Deliver - Yes 01483 573 150 visiting the Campus Cost : £6.99 each p/m Washing Machines & TV Launderete is just as vital. Student deals - and Video Here is a quick look at your 9 month contract Repairs: Same day if options. phoned before 10am Granada 01483 566955 Collect/Deliver: Yes BL Vision Washing Machines - Cost Price match any quote 01483 426 139 Not rented to studetnts from another company Washing Machine - TV and Video - Free repairs Student deals - 9 month Free Repairs Collect/Deliver: Yes contract or shorter - Collect Deliver: Yes Cost £21.99p/m Promotions throughotu the 77 people applied for this house Cost £13.99 p/m Student deals - 9 month year Two sure signs of student occupation; dodgy curtains, bottles in the windows Accommodation prices from around the UK. Student Off Campus Housing 1999 When will the accommodation lists be available? (From NUS Accommodation Survey) Lists of off-campus housing will be available from Top ten most expensive hall Monday 15th March. rents (single self-catered *98/99 Rents are set to rise Lindsay Endean’s Survey of These will be printed in a special free newspaper from Court halls) by 5% not matched by any Private Rent Prices in the UK. Receptions, the students Union and the Accommodation Office. Southampton Institute £70* rise in hardship funds. Bristol £50.55 This newspaper will contain information for students about how Barnet college £65 *Evidence of landlords with Exeter £43 to find and secure a place to live along with the current lists of Wimbledon school of art £64 holding deposits and charg- Edinburgh £50 houses and rooms including University Managed Houses. Kings College £58.43 ing summer retainers is (Scottish Parliament is causing After 15 March the most up to date lists of houses and rooms North London University £58 increasing. higher prices) will be found on the Campus Web, which is only accessible Birmingham £55.44 Nottingham £38 from terminals inside the University. London Institute £55.36 NUS advice: Birmingham £37.41 http://www.mis.surrey.ac.uk/misweb/accomm/home.htm Bournemouth £53.50 -Get the accommodation Lists will also be available to view at the Accommodation office to check your contract, Office. *The high rents at the it should contain; Southampton Institute are rent information What can I do now? due to the contracting out of length If you have not rented private sector accommodation before you halls of residence to private rights might want to spend some time finding out how to go about companies. any repair obligations securing your a place to live, If you know students living off -Get a signed inventory. campus and have already decided on your group you can Private Rents around the UK approach landlords about renting. Make sure you are happy London £87 For further advice; with the tenancy offered and if necessary ask for advice from the East Anglia £52 Phone for the NUS’s guide, Accommodation Office. Please note University Managed hous- SE £48 “Safe Housing for Students” es cannot be booked ahead of 15 March. SW £47 0171 272 8900 Wales £38 On the net; NW £36 nus.org.uk/waccomm.html Accommodation Talks NE £35 studentuk.com/hand- There will be a 30 minute introductory talk about off-campus E Midlands £34 book/accommodation/index. accommodation on: Tuesday 2 March at 1800 in Lecture W Midlands £34 asp Theatre G. ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 6 (1,1)
6 25/02/99 ed990225.qxd 26/02/9913:25Page7(1,1)
Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday 6th 5th 4th 3rd 2nd 1st 28th 27th 26th 25/02/99 Competition POOL 7pm rolling inSwitzerland Unlucky Object;Aswissroll legged man. you encounteredthatthree will findoutaboutthatnight you trustasotherwiseeveryone spread around.Becarefulwho A problemsharedisa Unlucky Object;Amagnet. lunar Lisathough). help, (itdidn’t workforloopy to afunctionroom,thatmight go andfeedmywellington).Go ...blip..bleep..excuse meImust your friends(..bleep be careful,youmightscare tioning, nosurprisesthere,but Your brainhasbeenmalfunc- 21st March-20thApril son inarevolvingdoor. Unlucky Object;Adrunkper- and green. answer toyourproblemsisbig profit margin). Anywaythe dealing withtheirdeclining (well Iguessthat’s theirwayof end upstuckinthereforYears door. Letsfaceit,peoplecould they introducetherevolving rest ofyourdrinkingdaysonce trapped inChancellorsforthe rying thanthepropectofbeing you, somethingevenmorewor- Things havebeenworrying 20th February-20thMarch fri-sat 10.4511.30 12.0013.0013.4514.3015.30 wed 12.4513.3515.1516.0017.4518.3020.00 sun/tue/thurs 12.0012.4513.3514.1515.15 TAURUS 16.15 17.0017.4518.4519.3020.0022.00 PISCES ARIES Fri Feb26th-ThursMarch4th1999 fri-sat 12.5015.1017.3019.5522.20 16.00 16.3017.4518.3018.4520.00 mon-thurs 13.0015.4018.1520.45 sun-thurs 12.0514.5017.4020.30 sun-thurs 13.3016.0018.3021.00 sun-thurs 12.2015.1517.5020.25 sun-thurs 12.1515.0517.5520.45 sun-thurs 12.15(notsun)17.30 sun-thurs 14.55(notsun)20.15 fri-sat 12.1515.1018.3021.20 fri-sat 13.1515.5018.3021.50 fri-sat 12.4516.0018.5021.50 WWW.ODEON.CO.UK Don’t goBreaking myHeart Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda fri-sat 17.0019.3022.10 sun 15.4518.1520.45 sun-thurs 12.0514.15 0870 50007 Shakespeare inLove sun/tues/thurs 20.55 fri-sat 13.0015.00 fri-sat 12.0014.15 fri-sat 16.3022.00 This Year’s Love You’ve gotmail sun 12.0013.45 Life isBeautiful Urban Legend fri-sat 21.00 A HolyMan A Bug’s Life fri-sat 19.15 Jack Frost Madeline Stepmom tone. 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Disturbedbyherpower, (Helm) whourges themnotto led bythesaintlyMaria the surface.Theworkersare maintain theluxuryoflifeon where armiesofslavestoilto ble truthoflifeunderground, dream merelymaskstheterri- apartment blocks.Butthe palatial splendourintowering wealthy inhabitantslivein dream, acityinwhich Metropolis isautopian Wednesday 3rdMar: Lunar LisaandMysticMoonda Unlucky object;Jamfilling suggest gasmark4). stick yourheadintheoven(we of flour, butterandsugar, and get confusedandchuckinabag being otherwisesomeonemay Keep alowprofileforthetime use aknifeandforknexttime. You’ve goteggonyourface, 21st January-19thFebuary 1.4% Volume onit. Unlucky object;Alabelwith thing?). think we’repsychicorsome- hell shouldweknow, doyou ous thingssuchas....(howthe has beenclutteredupwithvari- yourself thisweekasyourmind have todosomecleaningout better. 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8 25/02/99 Elections ‘99 - A Picture Story
Next Years Sabbatical Team President - Ben Davis VP Eduacation and Welfare - Emma Sale VP Communications and Marketing - Andy Blair VP Sport - Ben McCauley VP Finance and Societies - Marcus Mayers VP Support and Development - Sarah Maguire NUS Delegate Leader - Harriet Sims NUS Referendum Result 97% Yes Vote
All the Presidents Men Top to Bottom: Kyle Thompson, Top to Bottom: Sarah Ewen Ferguson, Ben Davis Maguire, Ben McCauley, Marcus Andy Blair Photos by Alex Langley and Mayers, Tom Sherwen Next years Editor of Barefacts Your newly elected NUS delegation James Buller ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 9 (1,1)
25/02/99 9
The Final Hours - Election Countdown by Lindsay Endean
n Friday after voting Ben M, No, you miss a week with the other candidates, and it one should vote. If you care so sion whether or not to get had finished and the of your lectures. There is no makes it easier to loose if you little about the university that involved in the union and so Ofinal count had begun, point doing it if you don’t know that the other candidates you don’t vote then what are thrusting it down their throats is twelve very tired and extremely believe that you can win will do the job well. you doing here. I think it should bad. I don’t know if the elec- nervous sabbatical candidates Nick, There will probably be be declared a failure that only tions process actually does the gathered in Wate’s House to tears later. Even if it does not go What do you think about the 2000 people voted. union much good. rest for the first time in two my way it will have been worth it. issue of planted questions at Ewen, It is easy to get some- weeks and wait for the moment hustings? one to agree to vote for you but My overwhelming impression of judgement. I grabbed this When did you start planning Dan, I told everyone that I was it is hard to guarantee that they from personally speaking to the opportunity to talk to all the your campaign? not going to plant questions will vote. twelve candidates was that they candidates as it is the first and Shelley, I wrote my manifesto because I did not think there Dan, It has taken us were all people who were pas- only time they had been able to on the Wednesday before it was was any need. I thought that I twenty-four hours to get maybe sionate about the union and truly speak their minds about due in on the Friday. could answer whatever was 1500 people to vote. That is devoted to improving it for the The Ben-efits of the campaign and each other Ben D, I went to see Harriet asked. disgraceful, if you think of the benefit of all students. The best Rugby Union and why exactly they had just [Sims] about becoming presi- Nick, It is unavoidable. It is efficiency of getting twelve way of summing them up put themselves through the trial dent and how I would do that good if a candidate can stand up people to persuade 1500 to comes from a quote that I of a lifetime. Here are some of and as everybody knows it to a planted question. Some vote. At Birmingham they have recorded somebody saying on you is what makes you a good their interesting, profound and just sort of escalated from planting was quite obvious 8000 people voting so to win my tape but I am unfortunately candidate, the fact that one of occasionally random thoughts. there. It has been difficult on particularly in the presidential you have to get over 4000 unable to remember their face these people is going to win and both of us especially her elections. But sometimes you votes. You have to speak to (although I think his name was one of them is going to loose How do you feel at the because a lot of people have need to ask important direct 4000 people and I am worried Steve), “How much it means to makes Surrey the looser”. moment? said it was unfair, but that is questions and you are not about speaking to 400. Dan, Scared, I know that I wrong. allowed to, Hustings is defini- = have done as much as I can but ately flawed. How do you think the elec- = = RedistributedVotes Redistributed Votes I keep thinking I could have tions could be improved? [1] votes done more, I would have been Emma Sale(s) away with it! Andy, I hope that if I were to awake longer, done something do an election again that I else, done something different, would not have to stand outside been more professional. I voting and shout at people, have got too many tickets but in a situation where twelve booked for tonight not to win. candidates are shouting there is nothing you can do but shout. What have you gained from Nick, The problem with bully- the whole experience? ing tactics is that a lot of people Marcus, You learn a lot about had not made up their minds human nature and strategies for when they went to the ballot marketing yourself. It also and you had to be the last per- teaches you how to persuade son there giving them a flier or others to help you without ask- a chocolate to make them ing too much. decide. Especially in Austin Andy, The number of people Pearce there should have been you have met by the end of the more space between candidates week is phenomenal. We have and voters. Also with candi- learnt a lot about everyone’s dates working together you are individual strengths and weak- What was your opinion of the Ewen, I think that planting effectively voting for both of nesses, every candidate has a other candidates and the way questions is a bad thing and it them, I would recommend really big strength at some- they ran their campaigns? does happen. I don’t agree with that candidates only support thing. If we combined all the Dan, Everyone has looked at it but I will admit to having themselves. people that stood this year you Ben Davis. Everyday he had done it myself because every- would have the greatest sabbat- people with T-shirts saying one does it and if you don’t What would you say to the ical team you could possibly “vote Ben Davis”. He planned then you are left out. comment that union sabbati- want. Oh, and I also lost my his campaign brilliantly. cals are “controlled by the union card. Ewen, I deliberately went for a How did you spend your senate”? Dan, I don’t think that anyone less in-your-face approach than twenty-five pound budget? Kyle, We are the voices with can ever describe what we have Ben and relied more on people Kyle, I made a placard which which the students can speak to just been through as fun, ever. It reading my manifesto and lasted until Marcus broke it, he the senate. wasn’t fun. going to the hustings. It does was waving it around and it just Anne, We are not just working Ben D, It has been a wicked pay to be nice to the other can- snapped. for the union, we are making experience, going out there didates for example when one Nick, We bought three tins of the union work for the universi- everyday to put something of Ben’s banners was ripped chocolates which was our best ty. I think that a lot of people across to people and sell your- down we fixed it up again and it buy, they were reduced. I also don’t realise this when they self. I gained a great value of paid because he did the same bought my campaign manag- vote. self worth and self belief. You for me. er a milkshake. Marcus, The question is, are don’t realise how much you Nick, I think that one thing that Ewen, Part of my budget went we making the union work for want to do it until you are worked against me was that a on lolli-pops just because I the university or are we making standing trying to persuade lot of the other candidates were think it is a nice gesture to the university work for the people who are just about to working together. I have tried encourage people to vote, union. make a tick in a box. to be independent and rely on rather than to bribe them to vote people to read the manifesto. for me. Do you feel that as a candi- Was it worth it, even if you Anne, It helps you to get date you have been promot- don’t get elected? through the week if you get on How important do you think ing awareness of the union as personality is to candidates? well as yourself? Ben’s Maximum effort wins the day Emma, At the end of the day it Sarah, It should have been is a popularity vote. It is per- part of our campaigns because sonalities not policies. so few people have voted. Nick, You get in on who you Andy, We are going to have to know rather than whether you promote the union because the are the best person for the job. sab titles have changed. If peo- If this university wants the ple are not aware of this then best it should vote for the best we may as well change the rather than those who fit in. I titles back and save ten-thou- believe that mush of the cam- sand. paign was a farce it was basi- Ben D, My manifesto was cally won or lost before you about getting people aware and had done the campaign. getting them involved. I went out to make sure that people What do you think about the voted. Obviously if they voted numbers of people who have for me that was a bonus. not voted? Marcus, I think that a lot of Marcus, I believe that every- people make a conscious deci- ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 10 (1,1)
10 25/02/99 You're So Disco An Interview with Bis hall we get on with it most independent labels have being "a wee bit harsh" on the then", 'Sci-Fi' Steven now either folded or been UK! "Ssays as we sit down bought up by the larger majors. in the cosy setting of Wiija She looks to America where the As Bis recognise, it's tough Record's local, The Slug and underground scene is very here, so how do they react to Lettuce. John 'Disco' is not much alive and summarises press speculation that if they'd about, having gone home early. with "there's a market for it". signed to a major they would be Steven looks happy and enthu- Steven's cynicism at the current one of the many bands dropped siastic, even after a full day of musical climate is obvious, recently in the major label cull? "face to faces", "phoners", and sighting the glut of bands trying "That was f*cking Gary,
"e-mailers". And so he should to pass themselves off as a (Wiija's label boss) I should Manda-’rin’ - Photo by Andrew Thomas be, after all, Bis were more or "high art concept". To him, punch him!" laughs Steven. He less totally rejected by the UK underground music should be continues to explain that when music scene shortly after their more about bands trying to do Bis signed they went to the breakthrough performance on ambitious pop with limited interested labels (of which Top Of The Pops with 'Kandy funds. Manda then highlights there were allegedly 50+) with Pop'. Since travelling the world her problem with the under- a contract heavily weighted in though, Japan have gone insane ground "people call you sell their favour. To drop them for the Glasgow trio (their outs if you do well, in America would have cost any company debut album selling 100,000 people are pleased if you an awful lot of money. As copies in 2 weeks) as have chart!". Another aspect of the Steven then goes on to explain, America, where they signed underground, fanzines, are a they have deals in the UK, with the Beastie Boys' label, specialist topic of Bis. Manda America and Japan. To be Grand Royal, last year. Manda- and Steven see many zines as dropped in the UK would not 'rin' enters the pub and takes a poor attempts to be like the kill Bis. seat, she to looks quite fresh. NME and as Manda puts it Her trial-by-press on every- "fanzines that are run for the Something that obviously thing from her political views perks, like getting into our gigs determines a labels' attitude to to her weight over the last few for free, really annoy me. They an 'act' is their profile in the years has not had such an age- make other fanzines look bad". charts. Manda is not happy ing effect on her, as say Tim with the new chart rules. "It's from Ash (a band of similar age Bis are big (business) in Japan. so ridiculous, everything's who hit the charts around the Having written music for a expected and it's all a big same time). So, after sell out Sony Playstation game and cycle". She's not happy with shows and critical acclaim endorsing a special Bis G- the lack of exciting packaging overseas what does it feel like Shock watch (which is "corpo- either. As she puts it "I buy all ly boring to just write about tracks on the album experiment ing". Their main concern to return to relative obscurity in rate as sh*t, but f*ck that" as my singles mail order from me" explains Manda. Steven with breakbeats and a more seems to be for the girls. the UK? "It's always strange Steven neatly puts it) Bis are America, that's how bad it is explains the lyrics to the cur- dancefloor friendly approach. Unlike Bis, many of the new when we come back to the currently being asked to allow a now". rent single 'Action and Drama' But as Manda points out they're bands are under control from UK", considers Steven, "I think book to be written about them. as being about the "anti-person- still a band and not "a cam- male management and this is a the reaction to Eurodisco was Apparently it's a lot harder for Bis are back in the UK primar- ality". Essentially Bis do not paign". bad thing to them. Manda quite good, it pissed a lot of UK bands to be big in Japan ily to support the release of see a place for faceless dance highlights that one of her people off and lots of other peo- than they would have you their second album, 'Social acts and the cult of the DJ in the What about the current crop of favourite bands is Sleater ple liked it". 'Eurodisco' is only believe. Bis put their success Dancing', out in mid March. "If charts. Steven does consider new bands in the UK then? Kinney, who "are girls who are the second Bis single to go top down to a strong image and enough people gave this album there to be a difference between Steven is concerned about the really talented, have control, 40 in the UK (number 37 earli- having something to say. "The a chance it could win a Brit a 'credible' dance act, like bands that have allegedly fol- and are glamorous as well". er this year) and as Steven puts interviews are so intense in Award" asserts Manda, slipping Fatboy Slim, and a 'non-credi- lowed in their footsteps. it "we had to put something out Japan" stresses Manda "they into mirthful giggles shortly ble' one such as the Vengaboys. "Kenickie are just embarrassing "Everyone has preconceptions that didn't sound like us". ask you about every lyric, and after. Steven sees the new The difference is in the way to listen to. I almost feel sorry of us, we're quite well estab- we do interviews for boring songs as the best they've ever they write. "He's talented and for the Chicks, I hate to say it lished" says Manda, consider- With the arrival of Bis the muso mags about our equip- written, "It's so vital and new", you know his face" summarises but I don't really like them". ing the chances of success in underground briefly became ment!". America is still a long he enthuses. Manda just hopes Manda. But weren't Bis supported the UK. With the new album the focus of media attention. way from being conquered but people give it a chance and recently by a teen girl band, imminent it could well do So what do they think of the Manda considers it to be a slow don't judge it on what they Bis themselves have become namely Vyvyan? "I wasn't everything they hope, including underground scene now two building process as you "can't thought of 'Kandy Pop'. Just something of a crossover dance overly impressed with them" winning them a Brit Award. years on? Manda is quick to have a one hit wonder in what inspires tracks like act. Manda refers to reviews in Steven reluctantly admits. But first people have to realise reply "there isn't much of an America". "So we've got a 'Shopaholic' and 'I'm a Slut' on Jockey Slot. The use of beats Manda appreciates their ambi- there's more to this trio than underground scene anymore, Japan side, an American side, the new album though? "I and samples is far more obvi- tion but thinks they could do pure sugar sugar kandy pop. the underground has become and a British one where it's just write them from a personal ous in the new material. Steven better. "We've always had the mainstream". Manda sights impossible..." Manda is quickly side, from experiences I've had recognises this as a difference ambition, you have to put a lot Andrew Thomas the reason for this to be that cut in by Steven claiming she's or seen, I think it would be real- from their lo-fi past. Other of effort into your songwrit- Live This Week
February WIN! 25 Rae Christian @ London Kings College DJ RAP SINGLES 26 1999 National Battle Of The Bands @ Reading Uni We have 5 copies of the new single plus 27 Winner, TFL, Dissent @ Godalming videos up for grabs. Wilford Noyce Indian Ropeman @ Reading Alleycat Simply send us a rap on what you thought 28 Gene @ Reading Uni of the Sabatical elections (no more than 8 lines) and the top 5 will win!
March e-mail entries to [email protected] before next Thursday 1 Mercury Rev @ London Forum Jason Falkner @ London The Garage DJ Rap’s new single 2 Dot Allison @ London Improv Theatre “Everyday Girl” 4 Cake @ London ULU Is released on the 15th March ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 11 (1,1)
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musical hooks to ensnare you. The live version of ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ SINGLE OF THE WEEK and her version of ‘Mississippi’ by INCH - Inch (Regal) SINGLES Bob Dylan are musical treats. 8/10 Dirty great beats in a messy BLUR - Tender (Food) G.T. You can just see Damon sitting at MONSTER MAGNET - Space soundscape with Mark E Smith home listening to ‘Blur’ and think- Lord (A+M) WHITNEY HOUSTON – ‘It’s shouting lyrics in his own distinc- ing what he could possibly do to A huge seventies-sytled hard rock Not Right But It’s Okay’ (Arista make his band any less commer- track from the coolest metal band Records) tive way. The beats rasp away so cial. Then it strikes him. Beta Band on the planet. The laid back intro In trying to please everyone, the absurdly that you almost have to meets Alabama 3. Yeah, great idea. slams into a space-rockin’ monster song has been remixed several wince. The ‘Dose Remix’ cleans Critical acclaim from the glossy of a song. The CD also includes the times. However, it will always be a music press and a credibly low video which sees main-Monster Whitney Houston single no matter all the beats up and makes it level of sales. But, bad luck Dave Wyndorf in a Puff Daddy pas- what they do with it. ‘It’s Not much more a straight drum n bass Right But It’s Okay’ is both a great Damon, you’ve written another tiche complete with chicks in mini- affair. This is the greatest dance awkward smash hit. 8/10 A.T. mal clothing, big cars and lots of song and dance track. The delicious cash. Ultra stylish. 8/10 R.W. mix of rhythm and harmony woven single of the year (and not just MINT ROYALE – Rock and Roll into a striking melody with an irre- because it features Mark E Bar (Mint Royale) SHAWN MULLINS - Lullaby sistibly catchy chorus really works Obviously by being Fatboy Slim’s (Columbia) well. 7/10 G.T. Smith). 9/10 I.P. favourite ‘new band’ they are yet This has been gaining much expo- another big beat clone. Another sure from the likes of Virgin Radio LUCID - Crazy This sounds a bit like Robbie bursts into something that isn’t FUSED - This Party Sucks! claim to fame being that they pro- recently, and it’s not hard to see The sequel to ‘I Can’t Help Myself’ Williams in some of his new things, quite sure where it is, almost as (Sony) vided the single mix for why. A catchy Tom Petty-meets- is another club-hit-by-numbers but the lyrics are totally strange. though a group of musicians burst A bit of Swedish funk mixed with Terrorvisions’ ‘‘Tequila’. Eels style tune coupled with slick attempt, with the usual repetitive The only thing that makes any in on the wrong session. The press house and dance, intended to be However, unlike most boring production make this extremely synth hook. The Garbage-style sense is a guy saying: -”Stay calm! release compares it to Scott Walker. good for listening at home, howev- generics this is rather good. A full FM-friendly. The whole feel can vocals though give this is a slightly It’s just the end of the world! It’ll Scott Walker my arse. It isn’t even er it is a big mess with no real on, shooting from the hip, loop of get a touch sickly at times though, more mainstream indie feel which be alright as long as we all keep as good as something that clapped direction, becomes worse when it pure magic which should get them particularly the slightly Beverley could help see it follow its prede- trusting”. Could this be a reference out ponce would offer. Steer clear. begins to repeat itself over and a nice fat wedge of cash. 8/10 N.W. Hills 90210-like lyrics. Columbia cessor into the charts. 6/10 J.R.H to the current GM food crisis? 2/10 M.A. over. Equivalent to the recent will love it however, and it makes a Who knows? 6/10 M.D.C. Brady Bunch re-make, but music- MUSE - Muscle Museum EP change from the usual stuff on the STEREOPHONICS - Just DONNA DEE - Hooked (Mecca wise. 3/10 M.D.C. (Dangerous records) airwaves at the moment. 8/10 Looking (V2) Records) What strikes me about this group is J.R.H. Not a cover of The Charlatans’ Hooked You Will Be the press the fact that they write intelligent middling chart raider but a fairly release says. I dont think so. All the This weeks music team: music, reminding me somewhat of SHERYL CROW – ‘Anything reasonable indie rock epic. In one tracks start off pretty promising but Andrew Thomas, Mario Dias, The Divine Comedy. Their title But Down….’ (A&M Records) ear and out the other though, no one I’m reaching the stop button before Emma Clarke, Daniel Jones, Mark track, ‘Muscle Museum’ is strong The marriage of rock guitar and is going to remember them for any- theyve finished. This is her attempt De Lange, Adam Saxty, Georgina on the melody initially, and then brilliant lyrics makes Sheryl Crow thing other than ‘A Thousand ELCKA-Pleasure(Island) to switch from underground to a Tarrant, Matt Anderson, Andrew T moves slowly on to heavier guitars. great to listen to. She is nothing Trees’ (a reasonable indie rock epic The introduction sounds quite more commercial setting and it Smith, Gareth Nolan, Ian Purvey, This is a really good EP, containing short of uplifting even when dis- etc). 6/10 A.T. promising: you think that the gui- does not work. 4/10 A.S James Hemingway, Rob Winder 5 unique tracks, without resorting cussing a sad subject in a song. tars will lead to something quite to remixing. 8/10 E.C. ‘Anything But Down…..’ is full of KULA SHAKER - Mystical pleasant. But how wrong you are. It Machine Gun (Sony)
electronic gadgetry to parade as manufactured rock. The press has a hard act to follow, and on ini- inspiration or yet more guitar release suggests it is a “unity of tial impressions does not quite suc- ALBUMS effects as innovation. To this end, spirit over style”, but, hey, without ceed. The record seems not to get an old-fashioned approach to the knocking the spirit which I’m sure out of first gear. However as with problem had been taken by The is important to punk-rock types like all double CDs it does take a bit of SEBADOH - The Sebadoh deserves. 9/10 A.T.S. NATACHA ATLAS - Gedida Gloria Record - writing some tunes. this, there is simply no lack of style listening before being fully appreci- (Domino) (Mantra) Yes, these songs have melodies and either. There’s eclecticity too. ‘The ated. While the first CD plods “I feel like I’ve never been in a BUILT TO SPILL - Keep It Like This is Natacha’s third solo album everything. Honestly, its true. Letter E’ indulges in Afghan Whigs along the second CD does finish on band before” - Lou Barlow has A Secret (City Slang) and a very accomplished affair it is Using folk-rock tendencies, The guitars, and with the roughed up a strong note with Fanatic, been rolling in the Sebadoh for over When Nirvana ended so abrubtly too. This is not so much dance with Gloria Record have constructed the REM in ‘Not Me Know’ giving Barbarus and Yves Deruyter all ten years. Now he believes he’s they left a huge hole in the patch- arabic overtones but much more most compelling, achingly beauti- way to a skirmish with Pixies and standing out. 6/10 A.S. finally getting somewhere. “The work of left-field American rock arabic music with a dance beat ful guitar epics....not ever - but the best power pop-rock of Sebadoh” (great title) is the band’s music. The hole remained open carefully woven in. There is one they’re in that ballpark. Calming ‘Minutemen’ which cen only be JULIAN COPE Leper Skin latest and umpteenth long-player, until Built To Spill released their song in french and the rest are sung and warming, you feel like you’re referenced to Sugar. The loss of (Island) their most accessible collection to last album ‘Perfect From Now On’, in arabic ( at a guess). This you’d of huddled up in front of some lavish attention in places toward the end is This album is the best of Julian date. Vocals are more harmonised which as the title implied was per- thought would make an album, open fire with cookies and a hot a poor use of the laser in your CD Cope from two periods of his career than on previous outings, but the fect. So the question is, can Built which relies quite heavily on the chocolate while the rain beats player, but with the swift return to 1986-88 and 1991-92 giving us his solid guitar-based backbone To Spill continue the perfection vocals, dull but instead it holds the unashamedly upon the window. form on ‘Seventeen’ it all seems biggest singles ‘World shut your remains. “Weird On The Way is with this new album, ‘Keep It Like interest more and makes it sound The introspective lyrics are sung so worthwhile. 7/10 D.J. mouth’ and ‘Beautiful love’ . pure guitar-driven folk-rock, and A Secret’? Once again, singer, more exotic. Whilst the lyrics may with such twists and the sounds Classic rock roll angst dusted with the top 30 single “Flame” is bizarre songwriter and guitarist Doug be in arabic there is a translation of beneath map out some imagined, Carson. ‘A Vision’ (Warners) the drugged fueled adrenaline of brilliance (Gary Numan meets Martsch has presented a selection them printed in the inlay but I unspoilt parkland with such intri- The band formerly know as Jaguar Cope’s mental capacity. An illusive Motown in a dark alley). But it’s of achingly beautiful pop music thought that reading them might cate detail it is a rare record. 8/10. and now known as Carson, are the flashback to Cope’s world, one led the slower tracks that stand above which continues, and indeed builds spoil the feel of the album so I did- D.J. latest addition to the ever expand- by guitar frolics and junked up the rest. “Tree” is acoustic inno- on, the legacy of American rock. n’t. This is going to be the best ing list of Britrockers. Though most fashion. A one for fans only I am cence in it’s loveliest possible form, This is a collection of emotional album of the year, at least for a pre- CASSIUS – 1999 (Virgin) Britrock bands give the world two afraid, yet if you are brave enough and “Love Is Stronger” is breath- pop songs with sweet melodies dominately vocal album. 9/10 I.P. Yet another French house import, albums and fall off the face of the a tasty tad bit to the strange world taking, in an “Eraserhead” kind of welded to complex guitar work- very much similar to Daft Punk’s earth, these guys should be around of Cope. 6/10 K.M. way. Bold, beautiful and undoubt- outs, climaxing with the magnifi- THE GLORIA RECORD - The ‘Homework’, the tracks build up for some time, well at least three edly the best release of 1999 so far. cent ‘Broken Chairs’. Almost per- Gloria Record (Crank!) from squelchy bass to mental hyste- albums. As debuts go this is as Q-BURNS ABSTRACT MES- Hopefully this will give Lou the fect. 9/10 R.W. A musical world of limited ideas ria. Records like this prove house strong as Definately Maybe or SAGE - Feng Shui (Astralwerks) commercial success he solely has led to the use of new fangled music isn’t so bad after all. 8/10 Pablo Honey. The album has a fair- It’s amazing what you can do with R.G. ly wide range from sweeping bal- a ‘Tomy’ keyboard these days, or ALBUM OF THE WEEK lads to driven guitars, yet full of so this album suggests....O.K, that SLEATER KINNEY - The Hot DJ KRUSH Kakuesi (Columbia) energy throughout. It has more than might sound a little harsh, there are Rock (Matador) This is Krush’s third album which its fair share of class tracks and to a couple of tracks on this electronic After the initial murmurs of is a collaboration with many up and top it all off, they are huge in Japan dance debut which show some approval over their previous album coming DJs around the world to and if that is not a indication of potential. The opening track ‘He’s ‘Dig Me Out’ last year ‘The Hot bring us a totally instrumental greatness, what is ?. The bands first A Skull’ cruises along stylishly Rock’ picks up from their previous experience fused with panache. It single has gone so far un noticed with a thumping bass-line, crisp with 13 tracks of post riot grrrl takes us on a trip around the globe, and is called ‘I Quit’, hopefully not drums and hypnotic pianos. On the power. Guitars play off against each bringing you back and forth into an indication that they have had other hand, ‘Solar Car’ is a bloody other whilst vocals overlap and the enlightenment at each crossover, enough already. All the best is awful song - a painful five and a drums clatter away as more than with tracks like ‘Final home’ and wished and hopefully they don’t half minutes of cheesy 80’s drums mere backing. Sleater Kinney have ‘The Dawn’ caressing the inner self fall down the drain of fabulous fail- with annoying tweeky bits thrown issues, they tackle relationships in a to freedom and enjoyment. Yet I ures. 7/10 G.N. on top. The rest of the album paces brutal way stating their rights and wonder if this world is substantial along like a dead slug, never needs. They are not simply lament- enough to feel for or just a hazy DANNY TENAGLIA - Athens exceeding mediocre levels (there ing over their trials like floppy memory. A weird and wonderful (VF1) are many moments when your fin- excuses for the female sex such as mix of tranced loops and soulful The tenth instalment of the ger hovers over the “stop” button). Alanis Morissette and Sheryl Crow. beats epitomizing Krush’s talent for Underground series sees America The positive soul-funk of ‘Kinda Many may find their slightly the lowdown abstract hip hop twist- DJ Danny Tenaglia mixing a few Picky’ is a temporary lifeline, but aggressive sounding guitars discon- ed with elements of funk, jazz, records based on recent sets from can only manage to keep the album certing for their middle of the road dub….. Best enjoyed late at night Athens. The record introduces a afloat for a little while, before it adult orientated rock tastes but it’s a with a smoke or two. 7/10 K.M. number of unreleased tracks includ- inevitably sinks to the bottom like a sound that grows and infects your ing Yves Deruyters’ ‘Feel Free’ and stone. 3/10 A.T.S. psyche. And unlike Hole they aren’t THE CAPITOL CITY Tilt’s ‘Seduction of Orpheus’. In laughable stereotypes of what girls DUSTERS - Simpicity (Dischord) doing this record Danny Tenaglia with guitars should sound like. With more hooks than a well- follows in the footsteps of Paul Current single ‘A Quarter To Three’ equiped fisherman this is the record Oakenfold, Nick Warren, John completes the album in a vulnerable fans of electric guitars can use to Digweed, the late Tony De Vit and and believable way. 9/10 A.T. reconcile the lack of anything but most recently Sasha. He therefore ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 12 (1,1)
12 25/02/99 Whats On in Guildford A Night At The Roxbury
Coming up in the area over the next few weeks. THE GOSPEL ACCORDING C: TO...Chris Kattan and Will There’s a Ferrell strange bias Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) towards films WHEN DID YOU START that have spun Boogie Night Fever (26th Feb / 7.30pm – 1.00am / Tickets £10) Get ready for the return of the funki- SHOOTING THE FILM? off from est 70’s night in town. ‘Boogie Night Fever’ gives you the very best seventies disco and funk grooves, C: 1984 ... no, two sum- sketches on the with the emphasis firmly on fun, glamour and of course tasteless clothing! mers ago. show. W: The The Hollies (27th Feb / 7.30pm / Tickets £12.50 - £16.50) The Hollies have been producing hit songs WERE THE 80”s A BIG track record is for a staggering 35 years. Often imitated, they were original masters behind such classics as ‘Air That INFLUENCE? about 50/50, I Breathe’ (a recent hit for Simply Red), ‘Just One Look’, ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’ and C: It still has predomi- which is pretty many more. Catch the Hollies at their very best, live on stage! nant value in Los Angeles, much the same that’s where we got a lot of the for any film. Richard Digance (28th Feb / 8.00pm / Tickets £9.50 & £11.50) One of the funniest all round per- inspiration for the bad clothing. We just think formers in the business today he returns to the Guildford Civic with yet more tales, anecdotes and his the film stands trusty guitar. WERE YOU INTO THE on it’s own feet. CLUB SCENE? Solid Silver 60’s Show (3rd Feb / 7.45pm / Tickets £10.50 - £15.50) Back by popular demand ‘The W: We went to clubs as a HOW LONG Solid Silver 60’s Show’ returns to the Guildford Civic! ‘The Solid Silver 60’s Show’ features Peter joke, to scope people out as WERE YOU Noone, Freddie and the Dreamers, Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, and the unforgettable Brian research. We were in a comedy DOING THE Poole. Don’t miss out on this swinging sixties show! troupe in LA called The CHARAC- Groundlings. That’s how we TERS ON as on Clueless and Fast Times Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud Theatre (01483 440000) saw this one guy standing up THE SHOW? against the wall. We were with C: A couple of seasons. at Ridgemont High, she was the a group of friends messing They didn’t have names, no- catalyst behind it. Suddenly Last Summer (Wed 3 Mar to Sat 13 Mar / Times vary / £10 to £21.50) By Tennessee around, standing next to him, one knew who they were, they C: It’s her style, It’s Williams. Warehouse Productions now return to stage Williams’ chilling tale of motherly love. Set in mocking him. were just those tacky. an exotic and macabre tropical garden, in the oppressive heat of a New Orleans’ summer, the tension C: He was scoping the guys in the club. W: It’s like a fantasy. If slowly rises as we move inexorably toward the truth about Sebastien Venables’ savage death, explod- room for some woman to look it was realistic, it would be ing with a final and haunting revelation. at him, or some kind of atten- HOW DID YOU GET really pathetic! tion, but obviously not getting RICHARD GREICO ARE YOU HAPPY WITh Loot (Tues 23 Feb to Sat 27 Feb / Times vary / £10 to £20.50) Joe Orton’s Loot is one of it at all. INVOLVED? THE WAY IT WENT? the funniest plays of the ‘60s. Orton’s comic masterpiece is packed with brilliant one-liners W: If he looked in my C: We wanted to have W: Yeah! and situations which are hilariously constructed and absurdly resolved. direction I would stop, if he an idol that the two guys would C: I’m not! I’m work- looked in Chris’ he would stop. look up to. ing in the alley again. We were just performing for W: We kept saying it W: We had to start from our friends, the poor guy! He would be great if it was a scratch. the obvious things like The New Victoria, Woking (01483 761144) hasn’t found out, or he’d have Richard Greico type. luckily he how they sound when they sued us. found it funny. spoke and what their character Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Mon 22 Feb to Sat 6 Mar / Times vary / £7.50 C: We’ve had so many C: He said ‘God this is traits were. Amy helped us to £21) One of the most popular and successful musicals of all time. A joyously entertaining show people coming up to us saying funny, this used to be me. I make them likeable, they ended guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and a tear to your eye, Joseph is a sparkling rainbow mix not ‘I know that guy’, ‘it’s me’ or used to ride my motorbike with up becoming these loveable to be missed. ‘my brother’. We were at the Mickey Rourke, we used to get losers. Met Bar, that’s the place that into fights...” Wilde Theatre @ South Hill Park Arts Centre, Bracknell (01344 these guys would die to get in. W:He used to wear these ARE YOU DOING ANY- THING ELSE WITH THE 484123) We’re sitting at this table, and leather jackets. people are going ‘that’s the C:And say ‘I have a pet wolf! CHARACTERS? cool table. That’s the table W: These scratches on his arm - W: We have to do them Hushabye Mountain (Wed 24 Feb to Sat 27 Feb / 8.00pm / £8 to £10) by Jonathan Harvey. where Rod Stewart and his wife ‘my wolf’! on the Show, because they have Hushabye Mountain is about the reality of living with AIDS today. Gutsy, funny and often broke up at’! C:‘My snake bit me last night’! the rights to them. moving, written by one of the country’s most brilliant playwrights, is a bittersweet comedy C. It’s great for a quest of life and the relationships within it. TELL ABOUT THE HOW DO YOU THINK THE to come on and do that third SOUNDTRACK? AMERICAN HUMOUR guy spot ... we’ve had Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks, Jack Compiled by Hossein Motevalli W: There’s definitely a WILL CARRY OVER whole area of dance music HERE? Nicholson, Sylvester Stallone. Holy Man (PG) Out Now that’s popular - It’s bubblegum, W: We’re totally curious. Why would these people want to do it? Director: Stephen Herek It’s fun. C: Like, I wonder what C: But Mr. Haddaway is they think of that? W: The last person we Starring: Eddie Murphy, had on was Cameron Diaz. On Jeff Goldblum and Kelly yet to give us a call. We revived his career! DO YOU ADMIRE ANY that sketch, we approached her Preston BRITISH COMEDIANS? the way we always do, but she ARE YOU GOING TO C: No! People now? A turned out to be tougher than The latest offering from RELEASE A SINGLE lot of people we don’t know, us. wise-guy Eddie Murphy FROM THE SOUND- that’s the sad part. We’d recog- neither gives us the serious TRACK? nise people from Shakespeare WILL YOU BE WORKING Eddie nor the outrageously C: Well, not alone! in Love. There’s the greats like TOGETHER MORE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE? funny Eddie. Instead, with Unless you really want one! Peter Sellers, Alan Bennett. W: I was in Toronto, W: I actually got fired, this film, we get a mildly so 1 won’t be coming back. amusing, pleasant yet unin- they have a music video station WHAT SORT OF VENUES called Much Music - there was DID YOU PERFORM WITH C: I’m going to stay spiring story. Ironically this Haddaway video. I didn’t THE GROUNDLINGS? another twelve years. We all Murphy’s character is sup- know they had a video for that C: Strip clubs, a lot of have our different things. posed to be an inspirational here the plot gets very pre- never explains why G’s song - it was this strange alleys. Personal shows! No, evangelist – well he does get dictable. Murphy’s guru, G, speeches about steering bondage video. The Groundlings has its own Competition Time half of America to look at is the man to save Ricky clear of materialism actually C: So that’s what ‘What theatre. I tried to dosome stand their lawns. (Goldblum) his job. G is sell the things. This is a is Love’ is about! Love is up, but it wasn’t too successful! To win goodies from A Night At The Roxbury answer this enlisted to join the morally spoof of religious commer- bondage! simple questio: The plot is interesting if not vacant world of a home- cialism run rampant but is WERE YOU WORRIED a little pointless. Eddie shopping cable network and never really as satirical as it HOW MUCH OF YOUR- THAT A SKETCH MIGHT SELVES ARE IN YOUR NOT STRETCH TO A FEA- Q: Who are the two stars fea- Murphy is apparently a persuade the watching audi- could have been. Apart from CHARACTERS? TURE LENGTH FILM? tured wandering pilgrim spouting ence to part with their hard Murphy, Goldblum provides W: Well I still live at home. W: Our original inten- psycho-babble and while on earned cash. a refreshing performance. C: I’m a lot sleazier than you! tion was that here were these 1st Prize: T-shirt, leopard skin his journey – to where we’re Kelly Preston does well as W. I’m not as dumb as that guy! two guys and when a girl walks boxer shorts, personal stereo never told – he bumps into The film does well in ridi- the love interest. Don’t fall up they just attack her. and compact mirror. Jeff Goldblum, who plays a culing the home shopping far the spiritual chat it’s not WILL PEOPLE PERCEIVE C: We never had grand 2nd Prize: 3 sets of : T-shirt and compact mirror. shopping channel executive phenomenon and the audi- worth your money. 4/10 AT AS JUST ANOTHER designs like we’re going to turn who’s got a problem – his ence that supports it, but the Hossein Motevalli SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE this into a movie... ratings are falling. From script has many flaws. It FILM? W: Amy Heckerling, one of the producers on it, as well ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:25 Page 13 (1,1)
25/02/99 13 THE CARLSBERG ICE COMEDY NETWORK BY DAVE GORMAN comedians. Genius. laughing at himself for 300 people joining a Barry worshipping cult. At the end of the Looking back it is difficult to believe that show he insisted on getting onstage to take no-one had thought of it before. But, so it a bow. With no encouragement from us, was that in 1992 a motley collection of eager 300 people spontaneously decided it would raditionally all comedians hate young acts were found in all manner of be fun to throw their glasses at him. entertaining students. Of course I South London Bed-sits and sent out to 12 don’t mean to suggest that if you are T venues. They returned, wide eyed with won- Far be it from me to condone violence, and an entertaining student all comedians will der and sleep deprivation with fantastic tales I have to say it’s a good thing that they hate you. No, no. Far from it. I know a stu- to tell of life on the road. One act regaled all were plastic glasses. It also has to be said dent at Wolverhampton who, with only the of Clapham with stories of his time in that Barry brought it on himself. He spent smallest sample of your urine, can accu- Yorkshire. He had bought food for beads and the evening antagonising 300 people and rately* guess your star sign. He’s highly trinkets and claimed that the locals had been then stood before them with his arms out- entertaining and a thoroughly nice chap to transfixed by a little torch on his car keys. Of stretched waiting to be greeted as their boot. No, what I mean is that comedians course, he turned out to be a liar and a buf- messiah. Well, let he who is without beer traditionally hate the task of entertaining foon and hasn’t worked since. cast the first plastic. The technicians were some students. fantastic. First, a Green Day CD came That was 6 years ago now and in the mean blaring out to accompany what was now This is partly to do with the fact that most Dave Gorman time the Comedy Network has grown to the finale. then, just to give it that extra student gigs used to be crap. A grotty bar, ”The most polished new-comer Dave has co-written the hit take in 40 venues. Entertaining students is visual element, a strobe. And let me tell no publicity, and a microphone that was on the circuit” (independent on BBC1 comedy series THE MRS no longer the hated task of old, it’s become you that something as seedy as several specially tuned to share a frequency with Sunday), Dave is a major new MERTON SHOW, which has something that I, and others, genuinely hundred plastic pint pots raining down the local minicab company seemed to be force in comedy. In 1995 he won BAFTA’s two years running look forward to. And it’s given me some through a strobe can suddenly take on a the industry standard. When I was a stu- hosted THE COMEDY ZONE - 1996 BAFTA for Best very memorable nights. kind of poetic beauty when you know that dent how often did I hear: “3 blokes go into at The Edinburgh Festival, a Entertainment Series, and 1997 the recipient is Barry. a pub...pick up in the city centre who wants show case for new talent which, BAFTA for Best Chat Show. A couple of years ago I was sharing the bill in previous years, has featured Dave Gorman has also collabo- it?... and the first bloke says...Red 6: I said with Brendon Burns. Brendon is a loud and It was a lovely moment. I wish I had it on Harry Hill, Stewart Lee and rated with Steve Coogan, The the top buzzer you nonce...” It kind of lairy Australian or, to avoid the tautology, video to show to future hecklers as a warn- Alan Parker-Urban Warrior. Fast Show and Simon Munnery ruins one’s comic timing. I might as well just say that Burnsy is ing of how things might turn out. No matter With his laid back delivery and whom he teamed up with to co- Australian. We were doing Southampton how well organised things are, there might sharp observations he was write The Sony Award But, once upon a time, a wise man thought together on what happened to be his birth- be a Barry in the crowd and it might turn to immediately picked by The Winning ALAN PARKER’s 59 to himself ‘why not put together a co-ordi- day. The gig was strange. OK, but strange. chaos. Beautiful, glorious chaos in that Guardian as “‘the one to MINUTES OF TRUTH, (BBC nated nation-wide network of comedy instance, but chaos none the less. But that watch”. Dave has since under- Radio 1 FM). aimed at students’. As is common with wise taken two national tours - the Now, the unofficial rules of heckling go kind of thing is only special because it’s rare men (wisdom being their stock in trade) it first with Simon Day, from Having sold out at The Edinburgh something like this: You heckle, you get and as glad as I am that I was there to see it, was a good idea and so the Carlsberg Ice BBC2’s THE FAST SHOW and Festival in 1996 & 1997, Dave put down, you feel a fool, you shut up. But I’m gladder that I’ve only ever seen it once. Comedy Network was born. Not only could the second as a headliner in his returned with his new solo stand we had Barry. Barry was the most persis- Far better that the majority of gigs involved they put together a package of shows fea- own right. BACK TO BACK BA up show for 98. Entitled tently stupid and stupidly persistent heck- people saying funny things and audiences turing good quality acts but they could put a FTA WINNING WRITER “Reasons To Be Cheerful”, the ler I have ever known. All night he heck- laughing at them. And that’s how it is on The nice young man with bleach blond hair in show was based around the 1979 led, all night he got put down, all night he Carslberg Ice Comedy Network. a lovely charge to make sure that every venue had “A comic with formidable writ- lan Dury pop song, offering a looked a fool. The only person in the room bundle of gigs with the odd googlie thrown bundles of posters sent to them and advice ing talents.”’ (The Scotsman), verse-by-verse dissection and dis- who didn’t think that Barry was a fool, was in to keep you on your toes. Tasty. on how to run a comedy night, viz.: make Dave Gorman has worked with cussion, described as “extraordi- Barry. Some synapse in his brain was fus- some of the biggest names in sure that the audience can see and hear the narily inventive ... astounding” ing causing him to mistake the 300 people *Accuracy: approximately 1 in 12. comedy. With Caroline Aherne, (The Herald). Robin INCE
Robin’s comedy career began at the Edinburgh Festival where he was placed second in the final of C4’s SO You THINK YOU’RE FUNNY COMPETI- TION.
Since then his TV credits include presenting a half-hour documentary for Granada TV’s Festival series and featuring on ITV’s new comedy magazine programme LAUGHING MATTERS. He has made numerous appearances on Channel 5, appeared in COME- DIANS IN CRISIS (C4) and in PUB FICTION with AI Murray for Carlton TV. He has also made three appearances on Holland’s version of NEWS- NIGHT performing mono- logues on UK current affairs. Kerb, Glee Club, Meccano Records. Robin’s radio credits include etc). His performance is highly regular contributions to BBC improvised, and on any given ‘,’A rising star .. shifting easi- Radio 4’s AFTERNOON night might include physics, ly from hunt sabotage to The SHIFT and to the CLAIRE hermaphrodites and John Peel. Smiths” STURGESS SHOW on XFM, As well as being a core member The Guardian where he was also writer/pro- Of CINERGY, the multimedia ducer of the breakfast show. evening at the ICA, Robin has “‘A brilliant comic with a He was a monthly guest on toured South Africa and genius for improvisation” THE SIMON FANSHAWE Bosnia (culminating in per- Time Out SHOW (Talk Radio), guests forming to 1500 squaddies in frequently on GLR and has an aircraft hangar with The “Tremendously talented.. his appeared on BBC Radio Stranglers). performance shone, go and Scotland’s THE USUAL SUS- He has recently finished writ- see him.’-’ PECTS. ing and filming a sketch show BBC Radio 4 for Rapid Pictures (CABARET He gigs extensively on the UK AT JONGLEURS) and is now “An excellent performer.” circuit and is also highly in writing a comedy album with GLR demand as a compere (Off The Ricky Gervais (XFM) for Fire BAFTA WINNER 1996 & 1997 ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:26 Page 14 (1,1)
14 25/02/99 Crossword No 95 Dr Russ Personals Dear Russ For example, how good are you at working with figures, can Why do some employers use you recognise patterns, are you tests and what advice can you good at reasoning with words, give me to improve my per- and so on. The key to doing formance? well is to take full advantage of the preparation time. When the Dear Bhupinder instructions are read out, make quite sure you understand what Employers use tests because you are asked to do. Make the they have found that interviews most of this opportunity to ask don’t always provide them with questions while you can. Once all the information they need the test starts it is out of the about a candidate. For exam- question! You’ll have practice ■ ‘Dazed and Confused’ seeks ■ Arpita KHANNA... are u a ple, if they want an up to date examples to try. Don’t worry A.A.Milne, urgently. AH refugee? measure of how good you are about holding everyone up if ■ My bro has asked The ■ R.TUTT (a.k.a.PIPPIN at reasoning with numbers, a you find these difficult. It is Question, to his other- what WOMAN or P.G).....THROW test provides a more accurate vital you get the gist of what is hope is there for me and mine ME A FRIGGING BONE! measurement than a question required before the real ques- ?! AH ■ J.BEGUM...GIVE OUR during an interview - however tions start. Thereafter, try to ■ Help me I’m a LHBNF & I LOVE TO YOUR NEW persuasive your answer! work - quickly and accurately. can’t see round the side of my PADDY FIELD WORKER Some tests start easily and lull nose. HUSBAND There are basically two types you into a false sense of securi- Across Down ■ D-day approaches for Mark, ■ JOY...(HOW IS IT HANG- of test. The first sort are ty. Don’t be fooled! They 1. An inhabitant of Spain (6) 1. Talk foolishly (6) will he shave it all off or look ING MY LITTLE MONA designed to measure different often get more difficult as the 4. Raised platforms (6) 2. Gratify to the full (7) like a hot cross bun. LISA!) aspects of your personality test proceeds and you realise 8. A leaf chewed in the East (5) 3. Not illuminated (7) ■ Twinkle wins toptastic ■ ARPITA do u know what he such as your sociability or your you don’t have as much time as 9. Gradually grow smaller (7) 5. Trifling ornament (7) cheerleader by unanimous is looking for yet? assertiveness. They are not you thought. 10. Sheds propped against 6. Dizzy (5) decision. Go Emma yeh, yeh, ■ Nobodys perfect but being usually timed and there are no walls (4-3) 7. Furtive (6) yeh welsh is as close as you can right answers. It is best to Finally, try to stay calm even if 11. An Eskimo canoe (5) 9. Take to pieces (9) ■ Men + Bo’s + women = a get.... answer these as honestly as you you think you’ve done badly. 12. Spellbound (9) 13. Fancy dress (7) great time had by all. ■ This is bad crack Chris, like! can rather than by trying to Tests only form part of the 17. Parts of eggs (5) 14. Decorated kind of china (7) ■ Did you enjoy your ■ Kyle says it REALLY didn’t give answers which you think selection process and you can 19. Vivid picture (7) 15. Minor route (2-4) TURKEY on Sunday? Was it hurt. the employer wants you to aim to improve your overall 21. Thrust oneself forward (7) 16. Forcible restraint (6) juicy? ■ Jim Leigh/James Leigh - give. performance through doing 22. Waterside plant (5) 18. Machine for turning (5) ■ Now is that a code or what? confusing that - but we do have well in other exercises. 23. A slimmer (6) 20. More vile (5) ■ 1/2 Price Train Ticket to a Mike The other kinds of test are 24. Dried fruit (6) Scotland over Easter Break. ■ Does the whole world know timed. They are known as apti- Russ Clark (Dates coincide with Hiking about my, ahem, jewellery? Solution to No. 94 3.scallop 5.Cyril 6.colleen tude tests and are used to mea- Careers Service Tour) For more info Contact: ■ Go on try it, you might like Across: 1.bemuse 4.acacia 7.assist 8.prevaricate sure your ability in some area. [email protected] it. 9.despair 10.roles 11.ghyll 14.outworn 15.machine ■ T.M. has finally come out of ■ A very happy birthday to Jon 12.volleys 13.compart- 16.staffs 17.mishap his closet from all your friends and house ment18.titanic 20.cacti 19.nodal 21.comic ■ Are there NO single men out 66!!! 22.flood 23.triumph there? ■ To my little bitch girl A, you 24.senile 25.red-cap Compiled by ■ R&L - just aren’t funny patrannoying mongy- love ya. Down: 1.bodega 2.musty Jeff Blackham ■ Louise, welcome to ■ nice to see you are well Guildford, but beware of those again charlie and fully cabable first years! of being your bitchy self again, NOTICES ■ Laura K-Who was the pissed love yaxxx bird at the ball. From your ■ Have you seen that young Coffee/Tea maker. actress called Liz?; She’s the Ballroom Dancing £48.50 which has been sent ■ Happy 19th Birthday Caz-a- bubbliest babe in the biz; to the Jeans for Genes cam- ■ Society AGM March Waz. Love ya lots, from your Like finest champagne; She paign which supports 4 insane housemates tobe. bewitches the brain; And 3rd 7.30pm University Hall charities who research ■ Happy Birthday Paul. Love enchants with her sparkle and genetic disorders. 38SH&Co. fizz Trampoline club ■ Sources from the Costa ■ Thank you GJ & GK for a AGM ANGLICAN Brava suggest that 16-30 year top night out! Lets do it again! 3rd March 6.45pm old females are being shipped GA xxx CHAPLAINCY to the countryside by the bus- ■ Happy v-day Registered Campusport There is now a Sunday load. Mental Health, you may have ■ improved at Strip Rummy, but I Japanese Society Service on Campus at a Mrs.Paddy Fields aka J.Begum - dont go blowing still have the Upper Hand - AGM 26th Feb 99 civilised time, open to all those horns Public Mental Correction 19.30 - 20.30 TB10 donomonations: 11.30 am in the QUIET CENTRE. Christian Union (includes optional Holy AGM 3rd March 6pm Communion). Contact LTA Robon Harvey x2754 Wind Band AGM 8th
25/02/99 15 Surrey Pride Star Profile SPORTS INTERNATIONAL Campusport News Number 14, Ben McCauley Kafelnikov Runs Henman Over For EVALUATION - of the Indoor Title At Campusport programme will be taking place beginning CHILDRENS SUMMER Rotterdam Mon 22nd Feb. Various inter- SCHOOL - is starting to fill Yevgeny Kafenikov won the viewers will be entering up quickly so book now to $135,000 first prize at the classes and courses and ask- avoid disappointment. Ages ABN AMRO indoor World ing for your forthright views 8-14. July26-30 and Aug 16- Tennis Tournament Sunday on the provision, service, tim- 20. £15/day, £60/week, £100 after a scintillating 6-2, 7-6 ings etc. Please be candid and for both. D.Targett@surrey. (7-3) victory over Tim positive. We try to act on as Henman. The first point of much of the feedback as pos- the game was a sign of things sible but to do that we need COACHES AND LEAD- to come: seventh-ranked Sporting Correspondent your input and experiences. ERS - needed for summer Vital Stats; Henman stayed back on his George Pavlou particularly in squash and ten- first serve and lost a fine 14- also kept pace with a 2-1 vic- SPLASH is coming to nis. Age: 23 stroke rally. After four aces tory at Salernitana. Defender Campusport during august. J.Perrin@surrey. Dept: Materials Science & Engineering in his first two service Fabio Cannavaro scored for Many activities available for Nicknames: Big Mac, Brummie Skip games, the British third the first time in three years 11-16 age group. contact po Eagle Eye Perrin Measurements: It’s all large [and lumpy? - see a Specialist - Sports seed’s first serve deserted and Croatia’s Mario Stanic box 300, Guildford Gu3 3YT Ed] him and he lost the match’s added Parma’s other goal. Sporting Interests (and why?): Rugby (Is it not obvious?) first Elsewhere, Juventus won its Marital Status: Firmly Attached break point to go 3-2 down. second straight game under Kafelnikov, broke Henman Personal Info; new coach Carlo Ancelotti, First Past the Post by Eddie again in the seventh game What is your favourite feature? My long flowing locks downing Vicenza 2-0, and ran away with the set. elcome once more through Hoh Express is look- [please proof read your spelling BEFORE you submit, Big Boy!] though Juve remain 12 points Henman changed tactics and to the racing ing solid, after a three-and-a- What do you go for in a woman? Someone who can put up off the top. In other games, went on the offence, serving world. Last week- half length beating last time with me! [or someone who can put me up after a sniff of the follow- striker Roberto Carlos struck W and volleying successfully in end, Teeton Mill confounded out. ing...] twice in Udinese’s 4-0 rout the first game of the second many of the pundits – myself Favourite Drink? A pint of Tetley at Brett’s Bar & Bistro (The of Bari; Giuseppe Signori set. The more attacking style included – as he proved to The intended stock market Varsity) missed a penalty but paid off when Henman broke have sufficient speed to take flotation of William Hill was Favourite Food? Cornflakes redeemed himself with a late, in the fourth game to start a on the two milers at their own cancelled last weekend. This Favourite Music? Currently ‘One Week’ by the Bare Naked Ladies insurance goal as Bologna sequence of three service game. His very impressive left more than 200,000 pri- (as opposed to One Wa#k over the Bare Naked Ladies!) beat last-place Empoli 2-0; breaks which Henman performance in the vate investors unhappy at Sampdoria snapped a 13- stopped with a dynamic love Mitsubishi Ascot Chase has having missed out on the Sporting Info: game winless streak by hold- game on serve to lead 5-2. seen him regain favouritism opportunity to own a slice of What does Surrey Sport give you? A job next year and good ing off Piacenza 3-2, and But again Kafelnikov for the Gold Cup from the betting firm. Former friends. Venezia edged Perugia 2-1. What is your; switched up a gear, coming Florida Pearl, and at the owners, Nomura back to 5-5 with a fine series moment it is easy to fancy the International dropped the most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? Being 1st XV FIFA’s New Rules : Captain when we won the league and then missing the party due to of running passes as former hunter. For my record, share asking price following falling asleep in the bath [dangerous sport, the Bubblebathalon] unforced errors crept into Fake Injuries, Super Coin was promoted to low demand from city institu- funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? Henman’s game. With Dives Will Now Get third following the disqualifi- tions, before Cinven & CVC Kafelnikov leading 4-3 in the cation of Challenger Du Luc, Capital Partners plumped up Well, my most embarrassing (funniest for everyone else) was being Yellow Cards punched by my ex-girlfriend at last years Colours Ball for not shag- tiebreaker, the Russian pro- after some reckless riding on with a bid of £825 million. ging two girls whilst on tour (It’s a long story). duced the shot of the match, Diving, feigning injury and the home turn ruined the Cyfor Malta, a leading fancy worst injury? Dislocated shoulder and torn ligaments playing a running backhand winner any kind of cheating will chances of outsider, Chief’s for both the Gold Cup and the Esher Fireflies in my second year that kept me out for almost a sea- fractionally above the net. become an automatic yellow Song. The Tote Eider Chase Grand National has been son. Henman netted a volley on card offence next season, at Newcastle was claimed by ruled out for the rest of the worst STD? 01384 Brierley Hill. (if you want to know ask Cazza) the next point to trail 6-3 and soccer’s International Board Hollybank Buck, with my tip, season. The injury is not seri- Do you have any sporting superstitions? Never let Cliffy Kafelnikov calmly won the ruled last week. The game’s top weight Santa Concerto, ous, and it is hoped that the near a Sports Profile [there’s seven years bad luck, then!] match on his first match rule-making body issued the finishing fifth. Spendid did young French import will How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? point. edict in reaction to wide- not make the post in the come back next season firing Aren’t they one and the same thing? spread cheating at last sum- Gerrard Group Novices’ on all cylinders. Is sex better before or after sport? Before, I’m usually to tired or Lazio Gets Revenge mer World Cup, where play- Chase, but did finish the bet- ers deliberately tumbled to drunk afterwards. On Inter And ter in coming second to the A horrific incident at Who is your sporting role model? Jason Munday, the ground when they highly-rated Unsinkable Sedgefield last week prompt- because he taught me everything I know [that must have taken bloody Remains Top Of weren’t even touched either Boxer, and would have won ed another debate on the safe- minutes!] Serie A to get penalties awarded to in a few more strides. My ty aspects of horse racing them or get opponents sent only winner of the week was when three horses were Which sports personality would you most like to meet? Sergio Conceicao fired in a off. The International Board, at Warwick, where Flagship killed. Three loose horses Martin Johnson rebound in the first half which also includes members Uberalles took another refused to jump a fence, and Sunday to lead Lazio past Sum yourself up in 3 words? Big, Bald, Black-Country- of the four British soccer novice chase, beating the with nowhere to run off the UEFA Cup holders Inter Boy (I know it’s 5 words but I’m not a Brummie!) associations, also announced odds-on favourite by a neck. course, headed back towards Milan 1-0, bolstering the Swallow’s nominated question; Will you prefer whips or it is looking at experiments to the remaining runners, Roman club’s bid for its first sticks in your attempts to control the untameable Sport’s to use two referees on the More events coming up this bringing down a further six. Serie A title in a quarter of a field and high technology to weekend for Grand National No jockeys were seriously Administrator in the cuboidal arena known as the Sport’s century. Luca Marchegiani decide whether the ball has contenders to flex their mus- injured on this occasion, but a Office? Whips. Or, as PC Taylor said, I could just get her to made a late, acrobatic save crossed the line. A goal-line cles. In the Greenall’s trial at similar incident in 1989, with make the tea. [Honest, Guv, she fell down the stairs and that IS on veteran striker Roberto technology experiment has Haydock, over three and a no equine casualties, left her signature on the statement, but she won’t recognise it even Baggio’s shot in the dying already been used this season half miles, I take Eudipe to jockey Neale Doughty off the if she DOES make it out of the coma!] seconds to preserve the vic- at English Premier league cement his place among the racecourse for 8 months. tory for Lazio, which took Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would club Sheffield Wednesday. market leaders for the Earlier in the day at the same home its lone league champi- you like added to the profile list for next weeks Surrey Star, According to reports, the Aintree marathon, in a partic- meeting, a narrow escape onship in 1974. Lazio, which Ultimate Frisbee hero, Ben McCormack. Sheffield experiment ularly interesting looking was experienced, as surviv- lost to Inter in last season’s Could you please explain why a personal submitted last year involves some kind of race. Over three miles, in the ing jockeys coaxed their UEFA Cup final and again in modem attached to the ball Racing Post Chase at steeds around oncoming lead me into a barrel load of trouble with my girlfriend, away this year’s Italian Cup com- which sets off a signalling Kempton, I fancy Dr. Leunt horses. The problem at the over the week in question, who was dismayed to read what a petition, has won 10 of its device placed behind the line to take the spoils. And for the County Durham track is the ‘Ben Mc’ had been upto, on her return? last 11 league games to move inside the goal. The signal is staying hurdlers, Ocean lack of places for loose hors- Thankyou, Mr. Sports Officer elect, it’s been a pleasure top the table. Playing yet then passed onto the referee Hawk might just be good es to run off. A similar situa- having you in the office pushing my buttons and playing again without injured star by means of an electronic enough for the Manly Store tion exists at Fakenham, striker Ronaldo, Inter fell to with my mouse. Not that I could understand a word you pad attached to his arm. One Rendlesham Hurdle. What is where an outrider is used to sixth place. AC Milan pulled where saying of course, not being from down in the Black experiment which appears to a weekend in February with- shepherd loose horses away. into second place, two points Country. Anyone wishing to start hassling Ben about be over is one that took place out a Mitsubishi-sponsored An inquiry called for by own- behind Lazio, by beating minibuses, budgets or the Millennium Colours Ball, please in Belgium where throw-ins race? Useful performer in the ers, the Jockey Club and the Cagliari 1-0 thanks to an were replaced by kick-ins. top staying flat races, Star RSPCA is expected to make wait until July before you STOP, as I’m sure he’ll be happy own-goal by veteran defend- But there are no plans to Rage, continues his conver- some recommendations to to listen to queries as of now. Mr. McCormack, if you could er Matteo Villa, who acci- include it in the rules. sion to obstacles in the prevent such a tragedy hap- head to the BF office on Monday afternoon please, and dentally deflected in a header Shogun Pendil Trophy pening again. we’ll try not to lose your article this time!! by Milan’s German striker Novices’ chase. His form line Oliver Bierhoff. AC Parma ed990225.qxd 26/02/99 13:26 Page 16 (1,1)
Surrey Pride Women Shine on South Bank Show The Mysterious Jane Southbank 0 – 2 USWFC Paul Cliff, Sports Editor espite being 45 mins after play was bought to a halt someone runs onto it” tactics. he field narrows. As What drunken hallucinatory ment, this plucky young beauty, late and only having 10 to treat a bout of cramp, were as On the few occasions that the many of the BUSA tour- experience drives this weeks who we found to be called Dplayers we started the successful as their number 10’s ball came into our half they Tnaments head into the offal from his effluent fingers? Jane, was successful and com- match in good spirits. Just ability to make contact with the realised that the only way to get last sixteen stage, our numbers Please, relax, I can explain pleted several resolutions before kick-off the “unbiased” ball. Being the sporting lasses anywhere was to flatten any have dwindled and but a few (How many Thursday morning before the door sprung open. and “ official” referee had the that we all are, we were having player that got in the way, to brave Surrey warriors will do conversations with my girl- What a girl! Had she seen fit cheek to ask us how long do none of it and surprisingly the which the ref claimed “yes it battle for the Pride this friend have started like that?). (and boy she WAS fit! - Cheers, girls play for and looked “unbiased ref” made them take was a foul, yes it was very late Wednesday afternoon. Men’s It happened like this.... Gav!) she could have immedi- shocked to hear that we play 45 it again and actually play the but she couldn’t stop her Football 2nds travel down to ately secured several promises mins each way. To which he ball back to us. Finally Rowena momentum”?! Southampton Institute for their As a bunch of USFC members of marriage on the strength of replied, “we’ll play the first 40 scored a well deserved goal to third round clash whilst the wandered, somewhat drunken, her contortionistic talents, but and see how you feel”! ( Not put us ahead. Katie scored an excellent goal Ladies visit Bournemouth for a in very hearty spirits given the settled for accepting our kind that we played a double header from a really tight angle, slot- SESSA League match. days results, from the Varsity offer of a wee dram at the the week before or anything). We spent the whole of half time ting it past the goalkeeper, who Women’s Hockey 2nds travel Centre on Saturday night, we Union. And she turned up! laughing at the oppositions ball despite her appearance wasn’t to Oxford Brookes while began to reminisce back to the Within the first 5 mins Rowena skills and “official” ref’s wearing a neck brace only a Netball 1sts visit Barts and days when one of our counter- However, as is usually the case went down injured allowing the impersonation of an indecisive huge woolly polo neck jumper, Mens Rugby 2nds are lead by parts found, admittedly child- with Saturday night Sportsmen, opposition to take a well traffic warden every time the leaving the result true witness skipper, Wizbit, down to Seale ish, amusement in climbing the one hour interval before she earned(?) rest as they were ball went out for a throw in, so to the better team. We contin- Hayne. No doubt these fantas- into the Launderette dryers and met us, had been filled with already knackered. Throughout you can imagine the response ued to dominate the match, as tic victories will be heralded going for a spin. This was long several rounds of loopy juice the first half we were all over he got when he took time out before, with offers of the ref to with a good old fashioned sing- before they refurbished the and our roguish, but loveable, them leaving the back four with from coaching the oppo and resign and nasty tackles being song and the odd toast or two at place however, and we found to humour, had descended into nothing to do other than throw sauntered over to ask if we made due to poor eyesight!! ye olde brick tavern, our dismay on Saturday, that brash and offensive leering. She mud at each other for entertain- were alright, being girls and Bojangleze. the new machines are too small left shortly after, without apolo- ment before realising that they all.(Sorry love we’re not inter- Our victory was celebrated to accommodate even our gy (from us!), and a number of were actually playing a league ested - could be something to with Pie (thought he’d be work- Talking of toasts, however, I smallest comrade. Retreating Sunday morning hangovers match and were being just a do with the gel and your lack of ing), beans, chips and chips and would like you all to raise a from the establishment, tails were tinted with a faint, but touch complacent. knowledge on the rules of foot- chips and chips (-cheers glass as I proclaim to have firmly between our legs (okay, clear longing for ‘the one who ball.) Holly!). Thanks for supporting enjoyed one of the single most not so firm, we’d had more got away!’ So, Jane, if you’re The opposition soon realised us fellas see you in the cup defining moments in any young than a few), we spied a young out there, Brucie Loves You! that the only way they could get For the second half, after some final!!! man’s life, as he bears witness lady back inside attempting to anywhere in the game was to sneaky coaching from the ref, to the awesome truth that is girl recreate our attempt. However, Saturday Nights are Sport, cheat. Fortunately their they went for the “hoof the ball Foghorn, Magnet, Curly and power. What is this new inces- following a small bursary and a Saturday Nights are Surrey attempts at Kanu style trickery, as far as you can and hope Swallow sant waffle I hear you cry? lot of alcohol driven coerce- Pride! Dictionary Corner A Beautiful Day for Football Why is dance election n. the selection by vote of a person or persons Surrey Stingers 8 Hertfordshire Hurricanes 34 neglected? for a position, esp. a political office. South East Regional Dance Showcase, ast Sunday saw Surrey what was happening, Surrey only three teams to score election n. a public vote; an act or instance of choos- 3/03/99, 8pm, PATS Studio. yet again meet their were 14 – 0 down. Surrey then against Hertfordshire, and ing. Box office: 01483 259905. Tickets £5 (can division rivals, the stepped into overdrive and have scored over half the L be brought on the door). election n. three weeks of pure living hell whereby a Hertfordshire Hurricanes. The stopped any more points points that Hertfordshire have day started cold and wet with being scored until the second conceded. The ‘Canes are a dozen or so individuals place their proverbial balls (or at last managed to drag one of my house- threats of rain throughout. As half. The ‘Canes now had to very strong team and look set other politicately correctness levelling extremities) on mates (who shall remain nameless!) the day progressed and our work hard for every point they to take the National Title at the chopping block and fly every inch of their own along to the recent Campusdance perfor- coach neared Hertfordshire, wanted. In the third quarter, College Bowl XIII next I self esteem and sense of worth in the sharp toothed, mance featuring Ricochet Dance Company. the weather improved and so Surrey scored on a run by Rob month for the second year merciless face of public opinion, and then relieve This performance was the penultimate in the did the mood. After the defeat Scruby to put The Stingers on running. themselves with an all night orgy of beers, tears and Campusdance season and I would say, the at the hands of the Reading the scoreboard. Herts fought To keep up to date with the jeers in an attempt to forget it all. most enjoyable yet. My aforementioned Knights in the previous game back hard and by the final Surrey Stingers progress, visit friend who had previously been intrigued had knocked Surrey out of the whistle had completed a com- the team web site at “mem- post-election n. the period during which one of the about the nature of contemporary dance also Play offs, Surrey have relaxed fortable victory. bers.tripod.com/sur- many unsuccessfull candidates decides to re-direct his enjoyed the evening. The performance and this showed in the game reystingers/” or visit the ‘limdoed’ career towards destroying the remaining itself, both offered a taste of contemporary and from the start, spirits were The Hertfordshire Hurricanes league site at shreds of dignity and respect that Her Majesty’s culture and an insight into the dance world. Police Force still commands from the general public. high. The first few drives are one of only two teams this “www.bcafl.org”. went the ‘Canes way and year to score against Surrey In other words, Taylor’s on the beat. The field of dance is frequently undervalued, before anyone was aware and in turn, Surrey is one of both artistically and academically, a view this performance challenged as it showed both depth and humour. Many people laugh (or worse still look sympathetic!) when I tell them I am doing a dance degree, a judgement the whole dance department has to face daily. The public needs to become more aware of dance if it is to be seriously consid- ered as both an art and a progressive acade- mic concern. Accessible dance perfor- mances and courses are fundamental routes to achieve these aims.
Above all, young artists require support in order to raise awareness and to continue to stretch the boundaries of dance. Up and coming artists complete the Campusdance season in the South East Regional Dance Showcase on the 3rd March in PATS studio. The programme promises to be innovative and varied, integrating movement with image projections, infrared cameras, text, voice and contemporary sound scores.
If you would like to challenge the stereotype of dancers being shallow girls in tight lycra and fancy a bit of culture, why not come along?! Tickets are only £5 – a bargain con- sidering there will be four artists performing for the price of one! Even better, you will be able to try out your newly found knowledge later that night in Bojanglez! Kat Bridge