February 2016 1 Gosh, it’s nearly Valentine’s Day. Once I used to worry about not receiving Valentine’s cards. Now I would be disturbed if I did. It would only put me in mind of those “Hi!” messages you receive in your junk mail. “Hi! My name is Natalia from Croatia. For years I have admired you from afar. I hope you will excuse me for being so forward, but I cannot hide my feelings any more. Natalia is not my real name, but you will recognize me. Let me send you some photographs...”. I sometimes feel like replying, “Hi, Natalia, I’d love to see some photographs but one thing worries me, why would a pouting curvy attractive Eastern European beauty be interested in establishing a relationship with a cantankerous, married 69 year old alcoholic who can’t even get it up any more?”. But of course I never do it. This is the new Vibrator, number 25 I believe. If you are interested in corresponding with a cantankerous, married 69 year old alcoholic who can’t even get it up any more, you don’t have to send photographs (in fact I’d rather you didn’t) just contact me at
[email protected] Around here I normally say something about the deadline for the next issue. I don’t know why I bother since most of you who respond know it is generally the end of the month, and those of you who don’t obviously don’t need to know. But, hey, Jerry, try to get me something by 28 th March 2016.