Neighbors Link Carola Bracco: Strong & Determined

community: BYRAM HILLS SCHOOL FOUNDATION, THINK FIT FOR KIDS

THE MAGAZINE FOR NORTH CASTLE & BEYOND | THEINSIDEPRESS.C0M | MAY 2017

Neighbors Link Carola Bracco: For over 100 years, Northern Westchester Hospital has meant that Strong & the highest quality, patient-centered care is always available to you, your family, friends and neighbors right here in your community. Determined Just a few reasons NWH is a community treasure… • Nursing excellence • Award-winning Orthopedic & Spine Institute • Inclusive, empowering and personalized care • Cancer Treatment and Wellness Center • Modernized operating and recovery suite • Teaching center for advanced robotic surgery • State-of-the-art Emergency Department • Wound care and hyperbaric medicine • Comprehensive breast health care • Clinical trials • Superior outpatient rehabilitation services

Clinically sophisticated and compassionate care, right here, in your backyard. Mom Memories Find out what else we have to offer, visit www.nwhc.net. ‘Moms on the Brink’ BYRAM HILLS Theater

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CHAIRMAN’S HONORARY STAR CLUB CHAIRMAN’S CLUB PRODUCERS

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395 MAIN STREET, ARMONK, NY 10504 • 914.273.3074 395 MAIN STREET, ARMONK, NY 10504 • 914.273.3074 Dear Reader,

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395 MAIN STREET, ARMONK, NY 10504 • 914.273.3074 395 MAIN STREET, ARMONK, NY 10504 • 914.273.3074 inside THE MAGAZINE FOR NORTH CASTLE & BEYOND | THEINSIDEPRESS.COM MAY 2017

9| BHHS Theater

features 9 Celebration Time: Byram Hills High School Theater Program Westchester Family’s Jean Sheff 18 BY STACEY PFEFFER BY ANDREW VITELLI

14 Citizen of the Year & First 20 Geri Mariano’s Medicaid Managed Thursday; Think Fit for Kids Care Struggle BY GRACE BENNETT & JANIE ROSMAN etcetera 21 Summer Memories at Breezemont BY BETH BESEN 32 ‘Moms on the Brink’ BY JODI BARETZ 28 Lasting Legacies from Moms and cover story Grandmothers 25| The Neighbors Link BY DANA Y. WU Safety Net 31 Sponsors Share Mom Memories BY GRACE BENNETT community EDITED BY DEBRA HAND 33 Dear Reader: HOW TO SUPPORT US! 4 Greg Murray, Rising Star COVER AND INSIDE PHOTO BY MOLLY ALEXANDER of Carola Bracco BY TODD SHAPERA 8 Byram Hills Educational Foundation Visit Toddshaperaphotography.com BY BETH BESEN

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MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 03 community through many procedures and changing medications. Having his first colonoscopy at only 20-months old, Greg had all the usual symptoms of a UC patient. Since Greg Murray’s his diagnosis, Greg has been dealing with constant flare-ups: really bad stomach Star Shines aches and cramps. Some days he has been better than others but despite all his pain, baseball is what has kept Greg BY MOLLY ALEXANDER feeling normal and continuing his life like any other kid. He’s played the sport all his Focus on a Cure in March was an life and has been dedicated to the Greeley A evening of dining, auctioning and, baseball team as well. most of all, awareness for Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative colitis for the Crohn’s and Not too long ago, Greg underwent three Colitis Foundation. These diseases, like surgeries over a period of five months after many others, are not visible on the outside conventional medicine failed to help him. so it’s difficult for many to understand Surgery restored a sense of normalcy in the toll it can have on one’s body. While Greg’s life, and of course, allowed him his favorite teams. The event raised over it appears invisible on the outside, it’s to play in the final two games of his $550,000 to benefit the Crohn’s and Colitis wreaking havoc inside. baseball season. Foundation and research to find a cure. If you’re interested in becoming involved, Guests had the opportunity to hear in “Here I am today and I feel great. It’s a don’t hesitate to email Lisa Harding depth about the struggles of Crohn’s and relief not having to take any more medicine [email protected] or colitis through speeches given by Jeremy on a daily basis. My dream to be able visit chronscolitisfoundation.org to find out Schaap of ESPN and our own Horace to go away to college and play baseball about programs and events. Greeley junior, Greg Murray. Greg was is now possible and I am excited about diagnosed around his second birthday with my future,” he said. For this bravery and Molly Alexander, a junior in the LIFE ulcerative colitis. For the past 14 years of tolerance throughout his life, Greg was School at Horace Greeley High School, his life, he has been meeting with doctors awarded the 2017 Rising Star Award, and is an intern for Inside Chappaqua and from different states and cities, going walked off with autographed gear from Inside Armonk Magazines this spring.

HOLOCAUST & HUMAN RIGHTS RSVP at EDUCATION CENTER http://bit.ly/HolocaustLuncheon invites you to our Questions? Call SPRING (914) 696-0738 LUNCHEON Co Chairs: Michelle Gewanter and Stacey Saiontz

Guest Speaker: Helga Luden, Holocaust Survivor

Special Presentation: Barbara Wind, Director, Holocaust Council of Greater MetroWest “How to Talk to your Children about the Holocaust”

Date: Wednesday, May 10, 2017 Location: Bet Am Shalom Synagogue 295 Soundview Avenue White Plains, NY 10606 Time: 12 PM - 2 PM Cost: $36 for program and kosher lunch

04 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 Now Family Britches can dress you and your home.

Come to Family Britches this spring as we feature new selections in womenswear and longstanding favorites, including: n AG Jeans n CP Shades n G1 Paper Twill n Michael Stars n Alternative n Desu n Hartford n Monrow n Brightly Twisted n Eileen Fisher n Hunter Boots n Repeat n Cambio n Frye Boots n Jakett n Rose and Rose n Organic by James Patrick We’re also showcasing new items to dress up your home at our Chappaqua store. You’ll find bedding, linens, gifts, furnishings and more–all handpicked by J. Seitz & Co. of New Preston, CT. FAMILY RITCHE B n S 70 King St., Chappaqua, NY 914.238.8017 39 Elm St., New Canaan, CT n 203.966.0518 familybritches.com

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Nathalie Vincent Edi Gladys Maura Catherine Antonette Clark Vetrano Giguere DiSisto McSpedon Schwartz Guido community Grants 101* The start of the school year also marks the beginning of the annual grant-cycle. A subset of the Board, the Grant Review Committee, meets to review all teacher- An Inside Look at submitted applications. After thorough discussion, finalists are presented to the full Board for a vote. The awarded grant the Byram Hills is often part of a long-term plan of action, with expected implementation over a two- year period.

Education Foundation Additionally, the BHEF supports a monthly grant opportunity known as Insta-Grant. This forward-thinking option provides BY BETH BESEN to fund innovative grants that encourage teachers with up-to-the-minute flexibility for learning and personal development.” quick projects and initiatives; Insta-Grants here is nothing that gives parents may not exceed $2500 and must be used more pleasure than the well-being of This mission is as focused and strong today within six months or before the end of the their children. And when a community as it was at its inception. The BHEF Board academic year. ralliesT around to support all children, magic consists of 35 dedicated all-volunteer can happen! The Byram Hills Education members: four teachers (one from each Recently, annual grants have revolved Foundation (BHEF) is an outstanding school), the BHCSD Superintendent, two around technology: 2012/13 laid the example of this very alchemy. Board of Education members, one PTSA groundwork for digital programming, member, eight district representatives 2014/15 saw One-to-One mobile learning What is the BHEF? and the remainder made up of parents of which provided Chrome books for district current students and alumni. This group students, 2015/16 expanded earlier tech Created in 1994 by parents, faculty and comes together to discuss and make final initiatives with Full STEAM Ahead!, and this community leaders, the BHEF crafted decisions regarding grant proposals, takes year’s awards include Fall’s Reinvention a mission statement “to enhance the the lead in raising funds to support the of the Library Experience at Coman Hill, educational experience of all children within proposed initiatives, and maintains an on- Wampus and H.C. Crittenden MS as well the Byram Hills Central School District going supportive relationship with BHCSD as Spring’s recent approval for two BHHS (BHCSD) by generating community support administration and Board of Education. grants: Professional Development for

2016-17 BHEF Board of Directors (Standing L-R): David Zimmerman, Elvis Grgurovic, Kristen Mathis, Leslie Ilany, Evan Goldman, Bart Sokol, Stefan Safaei, Nanci Keltz, Pat Bucciero, Khatija Ladhani, Lynda Baquero, Paulette Bannon (Seated L-R): Lisa Rosenberg, Elise Margolin, Nicole Stern, Jason Berland, Shari Fruhling, Cathy Kirschner, Melissa Jacobs, Melissa Tolchin PHOTO BY NINA KRUSE FOR PINSKY STUDIO 08 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 Global Competency Initiative, plus fall visit of the Harlem Wizards; this TV and FILM Curtained Production event particularly appeals to young Area with Cyclorama: a curved families and tickets often sell out green screen wall and lighting within hours. system. Finally, there is the annual Spring Also worth noting: The Debra Gala, a fun-filled evening featuring Leipman Yale Memorial Fund highly anticipated auction items as (DLYMF) was established with the well as giving opportunities. This Yale family as a meaningful way year’s recent gala, held at Brae Burn to honor the life and memory of Country Club in nearby Purchase, devoted wife, loving mother and was a smashing success. Honoring five-year Board Member (including both retiring and beloved School two years as Chair) Debra Leipman Superintendent Dr. William Donohue and H.C. Crittenden’s Dr. H. Evan Yale. Contributions to this fund Dr. Powderly Dr. Donohue are used towards future grants, Powderly, the community turned with the Yale family working in out in force. Close to 300 people joined to support and sustain the innovative collaboration with the BHEF to select and together to celebrate and support the programming for which the Byram Hills approve a grant in honor of Debra. foundation’s important work. Central School District is renowned. As Debra was passionate about the There is a fall “annual appeal” mailing to all foundation and its cause, this fund The BHEF welcomes all community community members. In recent years, this offers Yale family members and friends a members to get involved. Says Ilany, appeal has added the opportunity to allow meaningful memorial. “Getting involved offers so many for “directed giving.” opportunities; the chance to meet many *For full details, please see the BHEF wonderful people–teachers, administrators According to former BHEF president and website: http://www.byramhillsfoundation. and other parents. I hope this article helps current Board Member Leslie Ilany, “Donors org/Grants_Overview.html spur others to take advantage of a great want to designate where their donations and meaningful experience.” go; having a choice greatly appealed to Fundraising the community.” With a goal of 100% participation, the foundation proudly Beth Besen is a freelance writer and The BHEF takes a three-part approach notes that so many step up to contribute. editor; feel free to contact her: towards raising the funds that help Another popular fundraiser is the annual [email protected] One Of the best bike shops in America is close to home. (Really, Really close.)

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10 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 community

Byram Hills High School Theater Program Celebrates its Golden Anniversary with New ‘Theater Honors Wall’

The entire cast of BY STACEY PFEFFER Les Misérables at Byram Hills High School or the past five decades, Byram Hills Theater Program has PRESTIGE PORTRAITS Fbeen churning out an impressive array of students who have BY LIFETOUCH eventually pursued successful careers in movies, television and stage productions.

Alumni of the program were honored this past March and were invited to partake in an unveiling ceremony of a new Theater Honors Wall displayed outside the high school’s theater. The ceremony took place before the current theater group’s matinee production of Les Misérables which several of the honorees attended.

Faculty and current members of the theater group recognized 26 honorees–24 alumni plus two former directors of the program and included actor Eddie Cahill of the shows CSI: NY and Friends; Bryce Dallas Howard, one of the leads in the 2015 blockbuster Jurassic World; and David Harbour, who played Police Chief Jim Hopper in the Netflix hit Stranger Things.

They also include producers, lighting designers, composers, arts educators and people involved in regional theater across the U.S. Each year the wall will have additional alumni added to it.

Many of the alumni credit the strong theater program with helping propel them towards a career in the arts. Grant Sturiale (Class of 1975) who attended the ceremony and is now a Broadway conductor and composer reminisced about how he participated in Byram Hills productions every year while in high school under MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 11 community

the direction of theater teacher Gene Bissell. Commented Sturiale: “Bissell was a life force in the theater. He directed shows like we were opening at the Winter Garden Theater on Broadway. It imbued on all of us this tremendous sense of responsibility. He was a dynamic man and teacher. “

Another alumni Christopher Cummings (Class of 1995) who is now an exhibit designer for museums, visitor centers and aquariums loved working under the tutelage of director Joy Varley. “Byram Hills had such strong theater productions and all the shows were top-notch. That feeling of the show must go on and the stress and anticipation of everyone working together left an impression on me.” Caption: Byram Hills Theater Honorees stand by the new ‘Theater Stellar theater productions continue to live on Honors Walls.’ Alumni (L-R): Grant Sturiale, Christopher Cummings, at Byram Hills. The latest show, Les Misérables, Michael Cummings, Sobha Kavanakudiyil and Stephanie Failing under the direction of John Lopez, received Saletan with her son thunderous applause and a nightly standing PHOTO BY PUTNAM-NORTHERN WESTCHESTER BOCES ovation by the audience including, the alumni honorees in attendance.

Inside Press Editor Grace Bennett, who attended opening night, stated effusively, “I’ve seen Les Misérables on Brodaway, and believe it or not, I found this production every bit as enjoyable. Kudos to all the kids, Mr. Lopez and all involved in bringing Les Misérables to Byram Hills.”

She added that “the high caliber show showcases incredible high school acting and singing talent that is so obviously being nurtured at Byram Hills. It was a thoroughly professional, impressive and ultimately, moving evening of theater! I think there were not too many dry eyes. Also, the joy at the cast party immediately following the production was palpable!”

Charlie Winston, a senior who played lead Jean Valjean and who plans to study acting in college At an opening night party noted that “one day he hopes to be on the (L-R): ‘Marius’ (Michael Ramsey, ‘17) honor wall like the alumni.” With a little luck and Eponine (Dominique Karanfilian, ‘18) successes like this one, that just might happen. Javert’ (Shae Gordon, ‘19) Valjean’ (Charles Winston, ‘17) Stacey Pfeffer is a frequent contributor to PHOTO BY GRACE BENNETT the Inside Press and theater lover.

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MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 13 helped create Frosty Day, now a holiday community season tradition that welcomes thousands from near and far.

Woodyard also lends his assistance and Citizen of the Year: passion to the Armonk Outdoor Art Show, Cider and Donut Festival, Colonial Crafts Day, Halloween Haunt, Byram Hills School Ed Woodyard! District, Boy Scouts and St. Stephen’s The Armonk Chamber of Commerce will Church, just to name a few. Ed is also the kick off its Spring season on Tuesday, May owner of College Advice, a successful 16th, with its annual Citizen of the Year golf college admissions consulting service outing and dinner at the Whippoorwill Club. he founded in 1998, and is formerly a screenwriter and award-winning journalist. The 2017 honoree is Ed Woodyard, a 30-year Armonk resident and champion of All are welcome to attend this many local causes and traditions. day of celebration and gratitude. For tickets and information, visit A co-founder of the Armonk Chamber, armonkchamberofcommerce.com or call Woodyard’s involvements include 914-273-2353. Ed Woodyard leadership positions on numerous town committees and boards. From the North Castle Public Library to the rd The name may have changed but the Armonk North Castle Historical Society, the Chamber of Commerce’s Third Thursday event town’s Comprehensive Plan Steering 3Thursday promises the same lively spring/summer fun Committee to the Miller House/Washington A Community Celebration as First Thursday’s of years’ past. Beginning Headquarters, he has helped nurture and Thursday, May 18th and each Third Thursday preserve valuable town resources and of the month through August, downtown Armonk will come alive with music, art, guide future planning. Woodyard paved the activities, wine tastings and merchant/restaurant specials. Armonk Square will host way for the North Castle Citizen’s Corps student and adult bands, while visitors dance and stroll through downtown and beyond Council, the town’s emergency services to avail themselves of dining and shopping promotions. A promotional list will be group. Additionally, as co-founder of the available on armonkchamberofcommerce.com and at participating merchants. Event Winter Walk and Friends of Frosty, he dates are May 18th, June 15th, July 20th, August 17th, all from 5 p.m.-9 p.m. $150K Raised by Think Fit for Kids at March Club Fit Festival BY GRACE BENNETT

he 7th annual Think Fit For Kids Family Fitness and Fun Festival brought 350+ people, three Pediatric Brain Cancer Foundations T and two Best-In-Class Medical Institutions together in March at Club Fit in Briarcliff to raise over $150,000 to benefit targeted pediatric brain cancer research. Two national clinical trial protocols for children who have run out of treatment options are currently under review by AKBTC’s Scientific Advisory Board.

Final funding decisions will be made based on total funds raised by the 2017 Think Fit For Kids event.

“Thank you to all our loyal supporters, our many local sponsors and our generous corporate sponsors that all helped us accomplish this incredible milestone!” said Kim Gilman, executive director, Think Fit for Kids. To make a donation or learn about upcoming events and/or become a volunteer or sponsor, visit thinkfitforkids.org. “Stay tuned for PHOTOS BYJODI BUREN, summer and fall events to benefit pediatric brain cancer research at TRIPP STREET STUDIO AKBTC,” said Gilman.

14 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 CONGRATULATIONS TO THE ARMONK LEADING SALES PROFESSIONALS OF ��

BRIAN MILTON Real Estate Salesperson PLATINUM AWARD

JULIE SCHNEIDER HARRIET LIBOV Real Estate Salesperson Associate Real Estate Broker PLATINUM AWARD PLATINUM AWARD

JAIMME PUDALOV ATHENA MILES AURORA BANASZEK LESLI HAMMERSCHMIDT Associate Real Estate Broker Real Estate Salesperson Associate Real Estate Broker Real Estate Salesperson PLATINUM AWARD GOLD AWARD GOLD AWARD GOLD AWARD

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TRUSTED TO SELL MORE HOMES IN ARMONK THAN ANY OTHER BROKERAGE. Sheff lived in Chappaqua for two decades, moving to neighboring Briarcliff Manor Up Close with Jean Sheff: in 2013. Her daughter, Juliana, now an account manager for the clothing company Westchester Family’s Beloved Editor PVH, went through the Chappaqua school district, graduating from Horace Greeley High School in 2010.

At Westchester Family, Sheff and a small BY ANDREW VITELLI and saw the county as a natural middle team of two sales managers, editors and ground between Manhattan and the mostly freelance writers have built on the hen Westchester Family editor country. “I wasn’t a big nature girl,” Sheff magazine’s initial success, staying true to Jean Sheff took over the helm admits. “I was coming from the city, and I what made the magazine successful. But W of the magazine in 2006, the did not want to be on a dirt road with no along with incorporating changes to the print media industry was on the brink of lights.” Sheff first moved to White Plains, medium, the coverage has also evolved. its most tumultuous period in generations. but then settled in Chappaqua two years While many of the articles feature local Publications and newspapers across the later. When looking for a home, Sheff activities or destinations–one of its most country were folding or laying off staff, as remembers the first thing she did in each popular stories, Sheff notes, tells readers the financial downtown hit a sector already prospective community was visit the library. where to go for the best apple picking–the facing challenges to its business model. “If I liked the library it had a chance,” she magazine doesn’t shy away from topics like domestic violence. “Everyone was afraid print would die. Print is not dead, but you “It is a good combination have to do multiple things,” says of information for parents Sheff, who is also the magazine’s and features and articles co-publisher. “People need their that parents want to information in a different format.” read and know about,” says Susan Goldberg, Sheff has certainly overseen a Chappaqua resident significant changes during her who has worked for the decade as editor of the monthly magazine as the calendar publication geared towards editor since 2011. “My parents across the county; it kids are adults now, but I now has a dynamic website, think when I was a young a presence on social media, mother I would have loved and increasingly finds ways to this kind of resource.” engage readers. Articles are geared as much towards parents Sheff’s coverage has checking their smartphone on allowed her to meet the go as those reading the print and interview some edition at the kitchen table. “You notable sources, from write smaller bits. People don’t then-Yankees manager have as much time,” Sheff notes. Joe Torre to, most “You have to meet the parent recently, Dateline NBC where they are.” correspondent Andrea Canning. For a profile Westchester Family was on Sesame Street, Sheff launched in 1989 by Susan Jean Sheff toured the show’s studios Ross and Felice Shapiro, and PHOTO BY GRACE BENNETT in Astoria, Queens. this past year, was purchased by Brooklyn-based CNG publishing. But just as important This has had little impact editorially, Sheff recalls. “I went into the Chappaqua Library, to Sheff are her conversations with the says, as the new owners stayed the course and I fell in love. And then I got really magazine’s readers, which she engages in in taking over a successful product whcih serious about looking into Chappaqua.” as an “informal focus group” to best gauge aims to provide support to area parents Sheff had been working for UNICEF, the publication’s general impact. “Even with columns from experts, features on but left in 1997 to work as a freelance people who don’t have kids anymore will family-friendly activities and a calendar of writer for several publications (including say, ‘I used to read that all the time. I raised events. “You don’t get a degree to be a Inside Chappaqua!). In 2004, she began my kids with that magazine,’” she says. “It’s parent. You’re kind of thrown into it,” Sheff freelancing for Westchester Family and two very endearing. They’re very appreciative.” explains. “You need somebody on your years later she became the magazine’s side, you need a little coaching, and you editor. “All my life, I’ve always been And it hasn’t just been local parents need a little support.” After 18 years in New interested in children and families,” says who have recognized the magazine’s York City, Sheff moved here “kicking and Sheff. “It was just what I was passionate contributions. The publication has won a screaming” in 1992; she was pregnant, about, right to this day.” number of awards, including several from 18 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 the Parenting Publications of America and the Parenting JOSH FINK MD, FASLMS Media Association. Attending Physician and Director at NWH When it comes to finding activities to write about, Sheff says, there is never a shortage. With everything from the Westchester Children’s Museum in Rye to the Jacob Burns Film Center in Pleasantville and with New York City a short National Instructor In Non Surgical Aesthetics drive away, neither parents nor the magazine risk running out of ideas.

“Westchester is just a great place to grow up,” Sheff says.

A Westchester native, Andrew Vitelli served as editor of Inside Armonk Magazine in 2016.

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MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 19 Her two Fair Hearing appeals (when no Resident Geri Mariano’s representatives from DSS or Medicaid Choice showed up) were denied last fall. Mariano was informed by the Trying Experiences with Hearing Judge that his decision could be overturned but that she would not be made aware if in fact it was. Mariano is Medicaid Managed Care frustrated to not know if the Hearing Judge ruled in her favor and the decision was BY GRACE BENNETT Buchwald (93rd A.D.) to intervene on her overturned by Albany. Mariano reached out AND JANIE ROSMAN behalf. After a few calls, the Assemblyman’s to friends for advice with her predicament, Office found one of whom posted eri Mariano (also known as Geralyn there had been her situation in the GPinciaro), a much beloved Armonk a mistake Facebook group, resident with a myriad of health care needs, and Mariano’s Armonk Moms. At has hit too many brick walls in her odyssey status was not press time, discussions through the health care morass. Inside supposed to have started whether a Armonk contacted local and state officials change; her letter writing campaign with the goal of spotlighting her situation… status was and rally would help in the hopes that Geri can receive the care changed back. bring wider attention to she deserves and within her means. this matter. A letter last “Geri Mariano imbues the spirit of the summer The Inside Press has community and pride in her hometown, mandated since reached out to and it in her,” State Assemblyman David Mariano to enroll the Governor’s press Buchwald stated when contacted to in a managed office, the New York discuss Geri’s recent issue with obtaining care plan by July Department State of optimal health care to address her unique 31, 2016. As Health, Representative medical needs. “What saddens me so no exemptions Nita Lowey (D-NY17) much is that health care policy hasn’t done for Medicaid and State Senator right by her, most recently in June 2016.” enrollees applied George Latimer (37th to her situation, Geri Mariano S.D.). As this is a State PHOTO BY RICHARD CAPLAN Background she was matter specifically, Governor Andrew M. Cuomo’s Executive automatically Roy Loewenstein of Order No. 42 regarding Medicaid redesign enrolled in MVP Medicaid Managed Care. Lowey’s office, suggested the State could was to cover recipients who have long- As a result of the change, Mariano can’t provide the most comprehensive answers. term disabilities and chronic health see her PCP whose office is in downtown problems such as diabetes, heart disease, Armonk and has been accommodating A letter was being drafted by Andrew substance abuse and mental illness. and an advocate for her for over 20 years. Ferris in State Senator Latimer’s office, Some constituents like Geri Mariano found Additionally, her aides took an unexpected and awaits signatures by the senator and their coverage changed as a result of the pay cut due to the coverage switch. And Assemblyman Buchwald. “There’s no Governor’s April 12, 2012, directive, which the prosthetist who got Mariano up and hardship exemption, where someone says, established a state-based health benefit walking again after several years is not ‘What’s best for Geri given her situation?’” exchange per the Affordable Care Act. covered. After making much progress Buchwald said. “My role is to try to cut regaining the ability to walk, Mariano has through the bureaucracy as the system is Born at White Plains Hospital in October, not been upright since November, 2016. not designed for folks like Geri.” 1967 with Diastrophic Dysplasia/Dwarfism, Geri was abandoned at birth by the Mariano was the first special needs student At press time we are awaiting a response biological parents. It wasn’t until she was with a physical disability to be enrolled in from the state. Mariano wants an 18 months that then Geralyn Pinciaro was Byram Hills High School in 1972 without opportunity to share her story with Gov. taken in by William and Doris Mariano the Federal Mandate to do so; she Cuomo’s administration representatives after her story appeared in the Gannet graduated in 1985. Mariano graduated and relate that the present exemptions DO Newspaper. She was raised in a loving from Smith College n 1989, one of its NOT fit every situation of those who have home; yet never legally adopted, Mariano first matriculated students with congenital had coverage throughout their entire lives. was an official “Ward of the State” and disabilities. In 2013, she received the Spirit States Geri: “There are others in the same remained under Department of Social of Independence Award from Westchester boat. I need to be their voice, too.” Services’ protection until she turned age Disabled on the Move in Yonkers. “We all 18. Afterwards she went years without want to assist Geri, whom I have known for Grace Bennett is publisher and editor needing re-approval for Medicaid coverage. many years growing up in Armonk,” said of the Inside Press, which she founded Westchester County Legislator Margaret in 2003. Janie Rosman is a freelance Approximately 10 years ago, she would be A. Cunzio, representing District 3 (Mount writer and editor whose work appears re-certified every other year or so. When Pleasant, Pleasantville and parts of North in local and regional publications. She she received a letter stating she would be Castle) “Anything we can do to bring this chronicles the Tappan Zee Bridge moved from Straight Medicaid in January. issue to the forefront and seek assistance replacement project at Kaleidoscope 2013, she asked NYS Assemblyman David from New York State is imperative.” Eyes www.nykeypad.wordpress.com 20 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 MAKE THIS SUMMER COUNT

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MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 21 BREEZEMONT – at the Crossroads of Happy and Camper

BY BETH BESEN off the job (as an aside, he notes that he’s a popular dinner guest as people love ummer time, and the living is easy. hearing and sharing camp stories) and, Actually, make that easy-breezy. finally, come summer with the hard work SBecause, as Breezemont Owner and done, he enjoys the eas(ier) life alongside updated; when Josey took over, he also Director, Gordon Josey, tells it: “Great his staff and campers. “Come summer, I’m took the camp to the next level. weather, great staff and great activities a glorified camp counselor-me and my four make for a perfect summer.” to five full time staff members,” says Josey Says Josey, “As with any industry, we need with a laugh. to keep relevant. We’re always reinvesting, And he should adding new activities, staying involved and know. This will Turning serious for a moment, he goes on accessible to make sure our campers have be Josey’s fourth to point out that if he wanted to be tucked fun and our campers’ families are happy.” summer at away in an office, he’d be doing something A typical week is far from typical. Kids Breezemont, but else. According to Josey, his being out have an abundance of regular activities to he also owns, and and about is what helps make Breezemont be sure, but also look forward to special for many years a special place. He’s there greeting the events and dress up days at least twice ran, a prestigious campers as they come off the bus in the each week. Extra hot weather brings extra sleep-away camp. morning, and he’s there waving goodbye at swims, and campus sprinklers. In fact, sleep-away the end of the day. camp was his introduction to this What else distinguishes rather unique and, Breezemont from other as Josey describes, day camps? For starters, mostly east there’s the lake. Typical of coast American many sleep-away camps but Owner and Director, phenomenon. less common amongst day Gordon Josey camps, the lake is a beautiful Indeed, when Josey focal point as well as a place came to the U.S. from Scotland to work where campers can learn as a sleep-away camp counselor 20 years boating skills. Add the mature ago, he was immediately bitten by the woods and lush fields, and camp bug, and has worked in the industry Breezemont stands out for its ever since. He shares that his work is a natural beauty. The facilities calling and a true labor of love. are top-notch and regularly

Off-season he is busy And rainy days do not mean screen-time; hiring staff, running in fact, Breezemont is electronics-free, workshops, attending a place “where everyone disconnects.” conferences, working Josey believes camp is a place to “relax on infrastructure and, and have fun, to try new things, to take of course, meeting with safe risks and even make mistakes.” families and giving tours of Breezemont. It’s a fulltime, Remember cold cuts and bug juice? six-to-seven days-a-week Today’s kids probably think that’s so much job; but, as Josey is quick exaggeration. After all, their experience to point out, the long hours of camp food is a far cry from the old ‘my do not mean drudgery to bologna has a first name’ daily standards him. Rather, he loves what some parents remember all too well. he does, loves talking Breezemont has a full-time staff specialist camp with people on and hired to make sure every child’s food needs 22 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 are met to exacting standards. “It’s important to embrace all the diet needs because that is the world we live in,” explains Josey. When allergies, intolerances, religious dietary laws or simple preferences are noted, options are made available. And the options are socially and emotionally friendly too; for example, if a given day’s snack is pizza, then gluten-free pizza is an alternative snack as well.

Children come to Breezemont from Westchester and nearby Connecticut communities; Josey suggests a 30-minute ride as something of a demarcation marker, “As a parent, why would you want your child on a bus for much longer?” The youngest campers are three to four years old; at this age, it’s a co-ed experience and the ratio of counselors to campers is considerable. As they age-up, the groups become single-sex and the staff to camper ratio decreases.

However, there are always general counselors with every group and specialist counselors at activities. The counselors are often former Breezemont (or other camp) campers and/or teachers who bring their own love and enthusiasm for camping and children to the job. Breezemont campers typically move on to sleep-away camps or specialty camps, and parents appreciate that their children are well-prepared for the transition from happy day camper to overall happy camper.

ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF BREEZEMONT DAY CAMP

Beth Besen is a freelance writer and editor; feel free to contact her at: [email protected]

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24 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 The Neighbors Link Safety Net Supporting Local Immigrants

BY GRACE BENNETT partnership with local organizations.” are also seeing more people willing to be EDITED BY DEBRA HAND Many residents of Chappaqua and Armonk much more vocal and more supportive of have also come to rely on NL, based immigrants in the community.” or the past 15 years, Neighbors Link in Mount Kisco, as a source for honest of Northern Westchester has seen a and capable help with everything from F growing acceptance of immigrants landscaping and masonry to painting “An Avalanche of Fear” in the county, how they contribute and and snow removal. That focus shifted on

support other societal classes and bring Election Day, 2016. recently had the opportunity to sit a diversity of culture, food, music and down with Bracco to talk about how thinking. Neighbors Link (“NL”) focuses on “I didn’t really imagine we would be back NL’s role in integrating immigrants into its stated mission: “to strengthen the whole to this,” said NL Executive Director Carola I the community has been altered in 2017. community through the healthy integration Otero Bracco, noting a return to the Constant fear of arrest and deportation has of immigrants” by providing programs that hostility faced by immigrants until the early become pervasive, and NL is working hard assist with English learning, education, 2000s. After making major strides, “we’ve to address related needs. Not aware of empowerment, workforce development and taken some major steps backwards, but increased activity by U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement in Mount Kisco, she sees that news reports of “emboldened” ICE officers in the wider geographic area have had a ripple effect on the local immigrant community.

“People are afraid to sign up their children for free and reduced lunch, people are afraid to go to doctors’ appointments or pick up prescriptions. They are afraid to go to parents/teacher conferences. They are afraid to go to work,” Bracco said. “If there is a rumor that an ICE officer is in the area, they are disrupting their lives to keep their children home from school.”

“Our programming had to shift to help people understand better. People need greater legal support.” Bracco added that hundreds of people show up at presentations by the (state) Office for New Americans, ESL classes and “Know Your Rights” forums, and that her staff is working to help police departments, school districts, public officials and support organizations better understand what the immigrant community is facing.

She pointed out the new fear experienced by “folks who had been told in the past that they were not a priority for deportation because they were contributing members of our community, and had no criminal background, by far the majority of Carola Otero Bracco PHOTO BY TODD SHAPERA MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 25 people in the area.” Bracco pointed to parents who work hard and who prior to these developments were able to focus on their children’s academic success without worrying about the potential for deportation. They are now terrified, she said, explaining that the immigrant families that live in our area actually have a variety of legal status, and that while “we think of people as ‘undocumented’ as a static thing, it’s really not,” with many on a path to a green card.

And the biggest challenge is what happens to American-born children of undocumented parents–four million nationwide– if those parents get deported.

‘Imagine you are sitting in a ‘Know Your Rights’ session, baby on lap and teen next Increased Need, you, and being told this is how you need Increased Budget, to prepare because you can be yanked from your family and deported. These Increased Activism families live in close quarters, so children are hearing everything. It’s an avalanche of n light of the expanded legal fear,” she said. needs of the immigrant I community it serves, NL Despite NL’s hard work, “I don’t think any of has shifted its strategic plan to us can imagine the pain that this will inflict raise more money to support on families and the ripple effect on children, its initiatives. A luncheon how they are going to figure out how to get last November featuring an education and live with one or both of political strategist and CNN their parents gone,” Bracco added of the commentator Ana Navarro raised $65,000, and the Fiesta expected increasing numbers of families rhetoric and actions. “Children are scared Latina Gala to Benefit Neighbors Link ripped apart because of deportation. that their parents will disappear. Even will be held on April 29 at the Brae Burn children whose parents are citizens hear Country Club. the discussions and worry for their families and their friends’ families. Those who “Coming to our event and bringing friends Secondary Trauma: employ immigrants hear the stories of their is a great opportunity for people who want employees or their friends who are worried to understand the issues that immigrants Can Staff Help? that they will be arrested. And those who face now, increase exposure to the issue, are trying to bring their families here often he pressure on the NL staff has learn about Neighbors Link and meet some feel helpless. Neighbors Link provides legal started to take a toll, too. According of our clients,” Bracco said. This year’s assistance and help whenever and however to Bracco, NL “works with families gala will honor Edward and Maya Manley, T they can,” Strong said. one on one, two immigration attorneys, who have been with the organization since family services, case managers,” and its beginning and have had major roles it’s becoming increasingly difficult to find in building the programming. Of course, ways to help families find solutions to the charitable donations via neighborslink.org “A True Lifeline” potential for deportation. are always welcome. ocal residents are also trying to “Our staff is very professional and has to Nancy Strong of Armonk, originally an ESL educate their neighbors about the keep everyone calm, as it’s very difficult to teacher at NL, is now a member of the L plight of the immigrant community. make decisions if you start to panic,” she Friends of Neighbors Link, the fundraising Jane and Rob Shepardson of Chappaqua said, but the stress was starting to “impact arm of the organization. The Friends hold hosted a March fundraiser in their home for the staff, a fear that we might be letting events to support the programs and build 40 friends, during which a young woman people down and that we may not have the awareness. “I have learned so much about (now an NL staff member) told her story tools to help people.” our immigrant community,” Strong said. as a Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals “They are here to work hard, they pay taxes (DACA) beneficiary. While DACA allows “It’s chilling and heartbreaking and and they just want to make better lives for certain immigrants who entered the United extremely difficult. Are we going to make a their families.” States as minors receive a renewable difference in all this?” Bracco said. But she period of deferred action from deportation strikes a note of optimism, too. “There’s an The Friends know that more money is and work permit eligibility, it does not afford inner strength that we are certain is going crucial to support immigrants and address any legal status, according to Bracco, other to come through.” fears set off by the current administration’s than not being a priority for deportation. 26 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 The young woman, brought to the U.S. “It is not only a “ home away from these groups together to find a common as a young child, did not know that she home” for many of the day laborers that language and agree on basic principles.” was undocumented until she was in high gather there awaiting work, but also Bracco added that there has also school and it suddenly became a barrier an organization that provides job/skills been a significantly increased need for to her realizing her full potential: she would training, ESL classes, child care, and legal programming in Ossining and Yonkers, not qualify for college financial aid even services that help these families deal with including community forums and cultural though her family was at the poverty level. immigration and citizenship issues. awareness work with police officers. Applying for DACA, she was able to work Programs aim to build trust: “humanize as a waitress and earn enough to attend a “Neighbors Link is not just a helping hand, police officers to the immigrant community state university. it is a true lifeline to these families who are and humanize the immigrant community to hard-working and valuable members of our the police officers,” she explained. After five “We organized this fundraiser as a way to community who are now living under a officers came in for five consecutive weeks take action in light of Trump’s Executive cloud of fear,” she added. to meet with participants, there was “no Orders/Travel Bans and the impact that the question that the immigrant community left current political climate is having on hard feeling more comfortable stepping forward working immigrants in our community,” said if they were ever witnesses or victims of a Jane Shepardson. She and her husband Moving Forward crime,” Bracco said. had donated to NL for years, and their daughter had both helped out in the NL hen I asked Bracco whether NL is always looking for adult and teenage child care center and volunteered as part of people were galvanizing in volunteers. High school students and their synagogue “soup group” that would W light of these new challenges, adults assist clients with their English and get together monthly to prepare meals for she responded that the community was volunteer in the family center, and doctors the NL day laborers. “absolutely” coming together. Days after and attorneys provide services. Now, more we spoke, she was planning on attending than ever, Neighbors Link is making a huge “Our purpose was to raise money for and a large county-wide meeting of various difference in people’s lives and they can raise awareness of what we believe is a groups interested in making a difference use as much support as possible to help vital organization in our community, and by being involved in county and state those in need. Visit neighborslink.org to inform and educate our friends and legislation: “We’re seeing people come forward from everywhere to start to take neighbors about all the services Neighbors Grace Bennett is Publisher and Editor a role in this. More formal organizations Link provides to these immigrant families,” of the Inside Press. Debra Hand is a are taking a leadership role in bringing Shepardson said. longtime contributing editor.

COME BE YOU at Congregation B’nai Yisrael

“Trunk Show” Become a part of our SPRING/SUMMER - FALL PREVIEW Saturday May 6th growing community. 10:30 - 6

CBY offers a religious and spiritual home for the Northern Westchester Jewish community. We are inclusive and welcome a range of practices and beliefs, including inter-faith families, to participate in our religious, cultural and social action programs.

Meet Joseph Ribkoff Specialist Ashley Santiago One day specials & giveaways Refreshments For more information visit 139 Main Street, Mt Kisco, NY, 10549 914-244-4201 cbyarmonk.org 2 Banksville Road Armonk, NY 10504 Tuesday-Saturday 10:30-6 Congregation B’nai Yisrael Phone: (914) 273-2220 Fax: (914) 273-2285 Sunday 12-4

MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 27 Lasting Legacies Four young women share what they learned or inherited from their mothers and grandmothers… BY DANA Y. WU

KRISHNA PATEL MADDY CHEN

Horace Greeley High imilar to Krishna’s ASchool junior, Krishna Sgrandmother, Maddy Patel realizes that she has a Chen’s grandmother also had very different reality than her little to say about her marriage. grandmother’s experience Both her grandmother and at 16-years-old. “My life her grandmother’s identical consists of scurrying from twin sister, who was born one extracurricular to the first in 1938, had arranged next, staying up late to get marriages in Hainan, China. my homework done, and The firstborn was promised to spending the weekends with Krishna Patel a village boy who became a rice Maddy Chen my friends. My grandmother farmer. Maddy’s grandmother, dropped out of 10th grade to get married and start a family was also betrothed in 1940 to a village boy, but he later of her own, as was common in the 1950s in rural India. immigrated to America and became a doctor. “This two minute difference between my grandmother and her twin I will never forget when she presented me with two thick has extended across the generations.” Maddy, a senior at silver anklets. I was 14 and she was visiting from San Centennial High School in Maryland, reflects. Francisco. She called me into the kitchen of our house in Millwood. She said she had something for me. “The same “My grandmother’s twin had a son who became the ones I wore on my wedding day, 60 years ago,” she said. local village butcher. Every day, he wakes up at 4 a.m. “I wasn’t much older than you.” to slaughter a pig. He spends the rest of his day selling pieces of meat in a hot, crowded, smelly, open air market. My mother is a dermatologist who uses her hands only to perform delicate skin surgeries. I often ponder what would have happened to my grandmother, my mother, and me if the second born twin married the rice farmer.”

Krishna’s grandmother Krishna appreciates how her grandmother found the courage to break from tradition to become a strong, outgoing, powerful woman, and set the precedent for the other women in the family to do the same. “When my grandfather, a prominent Assemblyman, was imprisoned due to his political views, my grandmother continued to be an activist for reform, against his wishes due to concerns for her safety. My grandmother was very brave when, at 40, she had the chance to join her brother in the United States. She taught herself English and took up a job at a perfume factory to finance a new life here.” Maddy Chen and her family

28 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 HANNAH FENLON

t is possible be both the same and wildly different from Ithe women in one’s family. In Hannah Fenlon’s family, Hannah learned cultural traditions by cooking with her great grandmother and grandmother, just as her mother and aunts did. “Whatever the size or shape or “mistakes” my little hands made when we gathered to make dumplings, I also saw my great-grandmother’s expert, lovely hands pinching the dough just so, plopping them in boiling water and then, scooping the delicious dumplings as they floated to the top of the pot.”

Hannah, a junior at Horace Greeley High School, also inherited creative abilities and attention to detail from her grandmother and great-grandmother who were talented seamstresses. “Ever since I was a little kid, I liked arts and Our author, Hannah Fenlon and her Great crafts.” says Hannah. “And I loved learning to quilt.” Grandmother, Yuan Lau Chan Man

s Alexis, Hannah, Maddy and Krishna A shared these formative experiences ALEXIS DRAPER with me and what they learned from the women in their families, I was reminded of a eaching yoga, sharing a laugh trip I took in 1995 with my grandmother to Tand traveling are among the many Weihai, China. It was the first time I met my things that connect Alexis Draper and great grandmother and my great aunt, who her mother, Susan, of Armonk. Alexis, had been sent to a re-education labor camp now a freshman at Texas Christian during the Cultural Revolution. University, recalls a special summer in Todi, a small village in the hills of My grandmother left behind her family at Umbria, Italy. age 20 when she fled Communist China with my mother and her infant son. Her life This trip was in preparation for Alexis’s journey took her from China, to Hong Kong, first year of Italian study at Byram Hills then Brazil and finally the United States. High School. Each morning, Alexis When we were returning to New York, my said, she and her mom “left their little great aunt gave us bundles of seaweed to apartment and walked down the cobble take home. She had roamed the shores stone steps to the pastry shop in town, surrounding Weihai, a city on a peninsula, to and then went to our classroom to learn collect the seaweed. She dried the pieces in Italian. Though we lived there for only two Alexis Draper the sun and then wrapped them in scraps weeks, we progressed from just waving of cloth. She didn’t have much money but “hello” to having small conversations with arduously gathered these fragments culled the lady who would feed the stray cats, with the woman from our favorite from the sea of their hometown. Somehow, boutique, and with the servers in the restaurants.” we made it through customs with those pungent bundles the size of pillows. She and her mom took the afternoons to drive to different ancient towns, exploring places like the grandiose Basilica of San Francesco in That seaweed connected three generations Assisi, hiking up the mountain at Cascata della Marmore (waterfalls), and of women. That gift to my grandmother riding a birdcage-like funicular to the top of Gubbio. “All the sites were from her sister’s gnarled hands was my spectacular, but the magic of the trip was really in Todi itself because inheritance of courage, love, and hope. my mom and I learned something new together every day.” On one of their last evenings in town, Alexis and her mom participated in a cooking Dana Y. Wu is an Asian-American lesson at a local woman’s home. “We stumbled a bit through our recipes author in Chappaqua. Her short story in our new found language but we enjoyed the fruits of our labor, dining about immigration, “English in Action,” under the stars with other travelers from around the world.” is published in the 2017 Balanced Rock, a journal of the Ruth Keeler Memorial Library. She thanks Alexis, Krisha, Maddy and Hannah for honoring their mothers and grandmothers by sharing their precious memories. MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 29 RELAXED, LIFESTYLE PORTRAIT, MITZVAH AND WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY TODD SHAPERA PHOTOGRAPHY

An International WedAward “Top 30” Photographer (2016-17) A Wedding Wire “Couples’ Choice” Photographer (2014-2017) Capturing Chappaqua and Armonk Families for Two Decades

Carola Bracco, Executive Director, ToddShapera.com Neighbors Link - photographed for this issue of Inside Press @ToddShapera phone: 914-631-8353 | email: [email protected]

2017A QUALITY Barn CONSIGNMENT Sale SALE First Congregational Church Orchard Ridge Road & Route 117 in Chappaqua (914) 238-4411 www.fcc-chappaqua.org

TAGFURNITURE, CLOTHING SALE and LOTS MORE!! New Merchandise from Local Merchants Friday, May 5 9 am - 8 pm Saturday, May 6 9 am - 2 pm Final sale day, everything 50% off Sunday, May 7 noon - 2 pm Many remaining items FREE

Pick up service available: Sunday through Wednesday, April 30 - May 3 Call for an appointment or e-mail us with any questions: [email protected]

DONATIONS RECEIVED PUBLIC CONSIGNMENT Weekdays, April 24-28 * 9:30 am - 3 pm Mon, May 1 9:30 am - 2 pm & 6 pm - 8 pm Saturday, April 29 10 am - 4 pm Tues, May 2 9:30 am - 2 pm & 6 pm - 8 pm Sunday, April 30 noon - 4 pm Wed, May 3 9:30 am - 2 pm & 6 pm - 8 pm & during public consignment Unsold consigned items will not be returned * these dates are self-drop off (considered a donation to the church)

ITEMS NOT ACCEPTED Books, Oversized Furniture & Exercise Equipment, Computer Equipment, Winter Sports Items & Winter Clothing

30 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 Words & Wisdom from our Sponsors

For Mother’s Day: Memories Shared

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MAY 2017 | INSIDE ARMONK | 31 etcetera A Mindful Mother’s Day Guide… or Moms on the Brink!

BY JODI BARETZ are run down, stressed, always trying to be perfect, we are not ikipedia states: “Mother’s Day is a able to be the best mother we W celebration honoring motherhood, can be. maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.” One thing at a time

But day to day, we all know that Mom is Often we do not slow down a huge, complicated job, influenced by enough to realize how chaotic many factors. Mothers are the nurturers, our lives have become. We are caretakers, managers and glue of our so busy multi-tasking (which we families, and so much more. think is something to be proud of), that we can sometimes Jodi and her mom Although our quest for perfectionism stop doing anything well because we can feel justified in our community of are constantly breaking our attention Cut your own mom some slack overachievers, it would serve us well going from task to task. While I do realize Take a look at your relationship with to accept that we are humans, not multi-tasking is part of the job description, superheroes. We all make mistakes, endure your own mother, and show her some focusing on one task at a time makes us compassion as well. When you are little, tons of guilt, blame ourselves when our more effective, and decreases stress and children hit a bump in the road; just like your mom’s the center of the universe. The anxiety. moment you realize she is simply human, our mothers did before us. Relationships with our own mothers can be complicated and lacks the superpowers you thought as well. So, what if your Mother’s Day she did, can be difficult to reconcile. You experience doesn’t fit on a Hallmark card? Try a bit of self-compassion put her on a pedestal and it turns out Here’s how I suggest you can give yourself she’s a flawed human being…just like you. the gift of a ‘mindful’ Mother’s Day. In addition to self-care, self-compassion There is something scary and humbling in is something we, as mothers, neglect to realizing that. Accepting your mother for Give yourself permission to not be perfect practice. It is much easier and natural to who she is, imperfections and all, will lead Life is complicated for the modern mom. beat ourselves up over everything from to a better relationship–you can’t change No matter what your children’s age, we all not cooking dinner to our child’s less than her anyway. Celebrate the good. struggle with the same kinds of challenges. perfect behavior. Life happens. #%&! The mom’s in my mindfulness boot camp happens. Every mother goes through this. So if you struggle as a mother, or struggle groups, as well as my clients, seem to It’s part of the journey. with your mother, you are not alone. express the same themes. Some common Parental relationships are complicated. ones are: feeling like they are being pulled Try and tame the negative inner critic that D.W. Winnicott coined the notion of the in so many different directions, struggling berates you for your shortcomings. We “good enough mother,” which means that to get to-do lists done, not enjoying the all try to do the best we can, but despite her failure to adapt to every need of the moment… because their minds are usually our tireless efforts, we can’t guarantee child helps them adapt to external realities. thinking about the next one. In addition, to anyone ever that everything will run So, let’s honor all aspects of the journey they want to find meaning, purpose, and smoothly. We will always have moments and embrace imperfection as the Hallmark balance, all while trying to be the perfect when we freak out on our kids, and of motherhood. Happy Mother’s Day! mom. Ditch the perfectionistic mindset, you circumstances will arise that lead us to have a lot on your plate, and it will all get neglect certain tasks. Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC is a done eventually. psychotherapist, mindfulness and Our kids will struggle–and that’s ok holistic health coach at The Center because that is how they will learn and for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. grow. So, when you hear that critical voice She is the founder of the program and “Put the oxygen mask on talking in your head, acknowledge that upcoming book, Mindful is the New yourself, before you put it on it’s there and then show yourself some Skinny, and a speaker on mindfulness. someone else.” compassion and stop paying attention to it. She lives in Millwood with her husband Instead, focus on all the good and positive and two teenage boys. Visit jodibaretz. Filling up our own cup first is an essential things–the wonderful job you do as a com, and join her this summer for ingredient to being a good mother. If we loving, caring mom. meditation by the lake. 32 | INSIDE ARMONK | MAY 2017 For over 100 years, Northern Westchester Hospital has meant that the highest quality, patient-centered care is always available to you, your family, friends and neighbors right here in your community.

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