2003 Pig Roast '03
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VERITAS SINE DOLO Top Ten Plays of the Week (That You Probably Missed) Tufts’ Voice of Reason A Student Publication September 18, 2003 Pig Roast '03 Join THE PRIMARY SOURCE for Homecoming Saturday, October 4, 2003 Catered meal: $20 Beverage: $2 Getting to eat the only authentic pigskin on campus: Priceless By far the most delicious reason to join the SOURCE. Meetings every Tuesday at 9:30pm in the Zamparelli Room, Mayer Campus Center. Now looking for writers, editors, photographers, and graphic designers. For more information, email [email protected] or call Simon at (617) 448-4495. www.TuftsPrimarySource.org 2 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 3 THE PRIMARY SOURCE V OL . XXII • T HE J OURNAL OF C ONSERVATIVE T HOUGHT AT T UFTS U NIVERSITY • N O . 2 DEPARTMENTS From the Editor 4 Pardon the Interruption Commentary 6 Ouch, you just got kicked in the SAC. Fortnight in Review 7 From the Elephant’s Mouth 8 ARTICLES page 11 Cunning Like a FOX 10 FOX News and THE PRIMARY SOURCE have something in common. by Nicholas Boyd Conservatives Claim Victory 15 Tufts concedes defeat. by Brandon Balkind Fraternity Life 16 Booze it up, while it lasts. by Alex Allen Got Milk? 17 Queer high for the confused guy. by Robert Chirwa page 16 MAIDS in Mogadishu 18 Money for nothing and your drugs for free. by Talia Alexander Doubt Le Monde 19 The French do their best to prove all the stereotypes right. by Jordana Starr Thou Shalt Ignore 20 The Ten Commandments are no longer applicable to modern American law. by Alex Levy Book Review: Treason 21 by Brandon Balkind page 22 California’s Other Big Vote 22 I don’t discriminate. I regulate every shade of that. by Steve Bleiberg SPECIAL SECTION Classic: Thank God for Title IX 11 SOURCECENTER TOP TEN PLAYS 12 Let TPSN fill you in on the week’s top sports. Women’s Week Schedule of Events 23 You’re only allowed out of the kitchen for a couple hours, you should make them count. page 23 2 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 3 T HE P RIMARY S OURCE FROM THE EDITOR THE PRIMARY SOURCE Pardon the Interruption E PL UR M IB A U N ufts welcomed students back to the Though many argue that the value of S U V University this semester with many university athletics is found in its signifi- O T E L changes. The administration finally paved cance to alumni or student spectators, these RI DO TAS NE the corner of Professors Row and College concerns do not apply to Tufts. University SI Ave. They relaid the bricks of our $100,000 sports team’s records have little bearing on patio. And, they restructured the cable net- Alumni giving at a school like Tufts. And THE JOURNAL OF CONSERVATIVE work on campus. After students realized to be sure, many Tufts students are more THOUGHT AT TUFTS UNIVERSITY that their free cable was both permanent and concerned with the MLB playoffs than NE- intentional, they slowly adjusted to the new SCAC tournaments. IMON OLROYD lineup. Many are still adjusting. Furthermore, for most students, ESPN S H Editor-in-Chief The loss of ESPN bittered the pleasant is the only link to their beloved out-of-state surprise of school-wide free cable. While sports teams. Incoming freshmen must ei- Managing Editors students no longer have to deal with absur- ther find a fake ID and make their way to BRANDON BALKIND • Production dities like supplemental fees for sharing a a sports bar or learn to love Boston sports. CHRISTIAN MILLER • News cable connection with roommates, they may NESN is no substitute for ESPN, but no ANDREW SINATRA • Campus Affairs no longer wake up to hear the news of Pu- teams elicit more joy, sorrow, or anger than STEVE BLEIBERG • National Affairs jols’ latest home run or Kobe’s latest arraign- Boston’s Sox, Pats, Bruins and Celtics. TARA HEUMANN • International Affairs ment. For some, the loss is a triviality. For Athletics should be counted as a stu- ALEX ALLEN • Commentary many, however, ESPN, along with Comedy dent activity. Beyond Physical Education Central and MTV, represents one of the few classes, the department provides little edu- Assistant Editors stations producing news and drama of dire cational value to the student body at large. J. SLAVICH • Campus Affairs importance to college students. Separating classes and instructors from JORDANA STARR • Production The University, however, would prefer teams’ budgets would do much to alleviate AARON HELD • Graphics that students rely on true news sources. To the discrepancies the university faces be- their credit, they finally provide a fair and tween educational and entertainment funds. Contributors balanced media selection (see page 10). Qualifying the athletic teams as an activ- NICK ABRAHAM • TALIA ALEXANDER When questioned about the choice of cut- ity would also ensure that students have re- NICOLE BRUSCO • ROBERT CHIRWA ting ESPN, Executive Administrative Dean course over how their money is spent. TCU GEORGE FRALEY • ADAM HOFFMAN Wayne Bouchard claimed the cost of add- Senate’s purpose is to ensure that while the JASON JONG • MARIA SHEAHAN ing the network was excessive. According administration controls a student’s educa- JOSÉ VAZQUEZ to the Daily he commented, “We decided tion, students vote to determine priorities in if we're using tuition dollars, we really their activities. Senior Webmaster needed to focus on educational content as Tufts should follow Dean Bouchard’s ALEX LEVY much as possible.” advice and focus its tuition fees only on If only Tufts would follow this mantra educational pursuits. Few would argue Web Editor consistently. Besides funding departments of that the Athletics Department is just as ex- NICHOLAS BOYD questionable academic significance (if only pendable as ESPN, but reclassifying sports Editor Emeritus Peace and Justice Studies and Women’s Stud- teams as activities would at least provide ROBERT LICHTER ies would follow ESPN), tuition funds provide for some sense of consistency. In the mean- considerable entertainment to our campus. time, Bouchard cannot simply veil his cost Special Thanks One of the largest entertainment expenditures cutting as a focus on education without COLLEGIATE NETWORK (roughly 2% of the Arts & Science’s budget) breeding hypocrisy. USBIC EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION is the Athletics Department. Providing select GERARD BALAN • CHRIS KOHLER students with opportunities to while away their afternoons on a field (or early mornings Founders on a boat), the Athletics Department serves BRIAN KELLEY • DAN MARCUS mainly to entertain the student body. THE PRIMARY SOURCE IS A NON-PROFIT, STUDENT PUBLICATION OF TUFTS UNIVERSITY. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN ARTICLES, FEATURES, PHOTOS, CARTOONS, OR ADVERTISEMENTS ARE SOLELY THOSE OF THE INDIVIDUAL AUTHOR(S) OR SPONSOR(S) AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE EDITORS OR THE STAFF. TUFTS UNIVERSITY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT OF THE PRIMARY SOURCE, NOR IS THE PRIMARY SOURCE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT OF TUFTS UNIVERSITY. THE PRIMARY SOURCE WELCOMES ALL LETTERS. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR TO DENY PUBLICATION TO ANY LETTER BASED ON ITS LENGTH OR CONTENT. ANY LETTER TO AN INDIVIDUAL WRITER CONCERNING WORK PUBLISHED IN THE PRIMARY SOURCE MAY BE PUBLISHED ON THE LETTERS PAGE. LETTERS OF 400 WORDS OR FEWER HAVE A GREATER CHANCE OF BEING PUBLISHED. PLEASE DIRECT ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO: [email protected] or THE PRIMARY SOURCE, MAYER CAMPUS CENTER, TUFTS UNIVERSITY, MEDFORD, MASSACHUSETTS, 02155. ALL LETTER BOMBS AND/OR MYSTERIOUS WHITE POWDERS WILL BE RETURNED TO SENDER. ©2003. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 4 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 5 PARODY T HE P RIMARY S OURCE The LGBT Center has distributed flyers asking colored queers, "Tired of the too-white scene at Tufts?" THE PRIMARY SOURCE brings you... LGBT Students of Color General Meeting Straight whites “And the players are gay... not allowed. White At our queers with sufficient gaydar next general interest and joyful” may gain entry through the separate-but-equal back door. meeting, we bring you all the —Kenny Mayne Brandon Balkind will be classic queer games you’ve grown to love: Bisexual Multiracial Twister, shot on sight. Operation, and, everyone’s favorite, Pin the BlameWASP! on the Straight Gerard and Rob are are off the “DL” and listed as day to day. The SOURCE welcomes all letters to the editor. Please address all correspondence to [email protected] Everything You Always Wanted to Know About *But Everyone Else Was Afraid to Tell You TUFTS* GET THE FINEST (not to mention most forthright and telling) THE PRIMARY SOURCE account of affairs at Tufts and elsewhere delivered to your doorstep. For a tax-deductible contribution of $30 or more you can receive a full academic year’s subscription via first class delivery. YES... I’ll gladly support Tufts’ Journal of Conservative Thought! E PL UR M IB A U N S U Enclosed is my contribution in the amount of $ _________ . V O E L Make checks payable to: R O Name _______________________________ ITA E D THE PRIMARY SOURCE S SIN Address _____________________________ Mayer Campus Center Tufts University City, State, ZIP _______________________ Medford, MA 02155 4 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 T HURSDAY , S EPTEMBER 1 8 , 2 0 0 3 5 T HE P RIMARY S OURCE COMMENTARY The attendees were encouraged to party safely and to plan ahead for nights out on campus.