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- ~ Inside: Condoms Coverup ~ndoor Track Forum 2 Tuesday, Februari 14. 1989 EXPONENT 1 -~D PINIONS• . i MikeRoyko t1_-F' ) I il..c mo ... 1 people \\IW lack ,d\1' ol iron. I have nol led an entire!} pnstmc life. I ha\ c. on occc1,iun consumed ha.rd liquor. cu!>Sed, !)mokcd, had luM 1n my But ':)';tsAoo~r.;e, hcar1 and cxcct'.'ded the po)tcd ::;peed hrntt\. a;a,;y \,~e Rut I hJ\C ne'er engaged in any consp1rac1e!:i to ha\C someone murckred Nor ha'c I C\'er con!:iortcd "uh Satan. A1 lea~t not 1<.nm,10gly. I mcnn. the sneak) dt•,il Ctluld IHnt" been di!:igu1,ed <ha bartender National Columnist I mention thl!I becau"c I haw been accused of being part of a \inh.tcr. '\atanic plot to takt.' 1hc life of I yndon l.aRouchc. the imprisoned cull leader. H) ,terical I .a Rouch1c-. 111 Clucago and other parb al the countr) arc sa) 1ng that I'm part of ::ouch a plot and that their di.pp) leader\ life IS In grc.n·e danger. I hq 'vc even fi~d a lc:rn::.ull a!<il..1ng that a JUdge forbid me lrom wntmg about Lym.Ion ~ an) more. All of 1Jw. \\a~ hroughl on b) a column I \\ role a fc" da~s ago expressingjo) at 1hc fact that l. aRouchc had been sentenced w 15 )C3r!'I in prison for\ ctriou ... ~--~ financial "''\ 1ndlc:-. and ta:\ C\ ~1011 ~~! AcLuall). I probabl) Vl·ouldn 't h;ne \Hillen that colu mn ii the LaRouchic, hadn't made a nu1~ancc of themselvc:-.. Th~n JacK ;!eve~ lhyroi:l can<er arid died. P.S. The) had g~11hcred outside: the building where I work, chanting and ~mgrng 'li-.< giant IS Still tha-e and being a loud p<un m the ear. Bccausc they distracted me from more profound t~ oughL~. I decided to" nte The End abou1 1hem and 1hc1r leader. whom l \e been tracking. for abou1 10 year..,_ And one of the thing:-; I mentioned "as thm some of the LaRouchics once bumped off a fe\\ cats ov. ned by a reporter who had written a series of unfavorable(\\ hich means accurate) aru cle:-. on LaRouche And they once sen t a death threat to my assi~tant 's cat. The) inLerprc1ed 1h1scolumn as an at tempi by me 10 encourage cat-lovers in the same jail as I aRouchc to do him bodil) harm. Since then. they have been babbling that my col umn was " pro-satanic." and a "smoke screen for a murder pl ot a J ohn Hmckley 1ypc 1hing ... Although I think mos1 La Rouchics ha\c wool!) caterpillars crawling VIEWPOINTS around between 1heir ears, I don't want to cause them to remain in their tiny. So 1·m going to assure them that their leader is safe. healthy and probably in fa r less danger than the average ci1i1en walking the streets of Chicago or New by Mark Heinz If lhe govern men I ran out of•B.S .. it seemed there wa~ Yor~ . ah' ays somebody else who was ready. willing and able to contr1but1ng wr1t1::r He is current!) in the Alex andria. Va .• Detention Ce111er. waiting for a take us for a ride. Take our good buddy Oral Roberts for transfer to a regular federal pen. instance. He got himself quite a nice liule ~ac k of loot And a spokesman for the detention center says he seems to be having quite a \\hen he claimed that God was going to "take him home" good time. considering the circumstances. if he did not get 8 mil hon b) a cenain day. No\\-, it's scary Welcome to 1989! Yes l ol ~' · that "s right, 1he IQ80 's are enough to think that this guy was able to get himself into He is spend ing most of his time on the telepho ne. giving intervie Vl s tO almost O\"er, i:, n't that special'? Ah. the 1980's, what a a position of po\\ er. but what chills my guts is the fact reporters. radio talk s ~ow s and disc jockeys all over the country. long. Slrangc decade it's been. How. in 15. 10, or even 5 1hat a large number of people out there actually bought "'We've been getting calls from reporters all over the country." the spokes­ years arc we going to look back on this decade? "The his story and forked over the bucks! Think about 1ha1 for man said. "and he can call out collect. He's been calling everybody. golden age of Ronnie?" "The yuppie years'?" "The great a minute. What's wrong with this picture? "He evt!n told 1he local paper here that he likes us . He said we're a good Co!..e vs. Pepsi ten year war?" Leadership seemed to take on a different meaning in bunch of people.·· Well. I for one have not been very pleased wilh these the 'SO's. Ronnie and -ancy became more than our first But is he in danger'! pa t years. It's a time I will always remember as .. the couple. they became our \\ Cl nurse. There is norhmg "I don't think he 's in any danger. not from the staff or other inmates. He' in decade America took a nap." The 1980's have, for the wrong wi1h strong. charsmatic leaders. but this nat!On let a section that houses n0n-violent prisoners. His living unit is under constant most pan. produced the most apathetic general public things get out of hand with the Reagans. We let Ronnie"s surveillance. Not o nl y by the deputies. but it's monitored by audio and video that this nation has seen in a long time. Americans have reasurance rock us to sleep while ' ancy. with her"super­ equipment.'' done a prelty good job of imitating Ronnie by falling grandma" image. tucked us in for 1he decade. I don 't o it is unlikely that Satan or a pro-Sa1an columnist could sneak in there and asleep at critical moments. Take Iran-Contra (Oh, God! think it's entirely Reagan's fault tha1 things got o politi­ tweak his nose'! Not thal again!) for example. A fe\\ ye,.ars back, Richard cally corrupt in the 1980's. A lot of it has to do with the " I would consider it highly unlikely.·· Nixon plays dirty politics. and the country wants his fact that we the people dozed through our job of uphold­ I hope that relie\·es some of the stress that the LaRouchies have been head on a plauer. Flash forward to the '80s: Ollie North, ing the ··by the people" part of our go,cmment. e~pe ncncin g. Poinde tcr. and maybe even Ronnie himself spit in the \Veil folks. it's time to wake u.p. Crack is ri pping our fa ce of the constitution. America respo11ds by sitting cities apart, the poor are gelling poorer. and we\e got a back. drinking a Bud Li te. and burping. "Iran-Contra? really nif~y deficit to contend with. ~Vho is going ~o save "They interpreted this column as an that won't mess up my B.M.W. payments will it? o? us" Cenaml) no1 George Bush. (I think a gogd frie nd of Well. heck with it then. Gimmie another beer! .. The mine summed up or new president prett) well when he attempt by me to encourage cat­ public also seemed to forget to put on it ·s B.. filters stated: ··George Bu h is just a big piece of shit that when Iran-Contra was uncovered . .. Oh. sure Ronnie. we talks. ·1 George also seems to be pulling the same old "Put beline you, you didn't do anything \Hong. and C\Cll if ·em to sleep so they don't bitch" stunt on us already. lovers in the same jail as LaRouche to you dad. you can't remember. That'::. o kay. " "Yeah Ollie. Yeah. Bush really poured on 1he " I'm a nice guy and a it'scooL Youwerconlytryingtobeagood sold ie r. 1a \\ . real American" routine during the elec11on. "Let's visit a do him bodly harm." there's nothing wrong with selling weapons to the enem). Oag factory! That'll make them forgei any im oll'ement I besides. you've got a good family and a sexy secretary. so might ha\e had in Ro nnie 's nasty business!" And \\hat you must be A-okay!" do we ge1 as he takes office? "Oh boy, we can turn the Of course. La Rouche isn't going to remain in 1l11 s detention center. He'll Yeah. Americans ate crap like candy in the· Os. Ollie eventually be mo,ed to one of the big JOints. inauguration rn to a big part)! \Ve can have a parade, and North and the rest of the Comra cronies fed us a steady fireworks. and focus 1he cameras on all the happ) Bui since he is a white-collar criminal. he will surely go to a minimum­ diet of lies for months and we v. oofed 1t down and asked securit). "hite-collar federal pen. Republicans wi th blissful smiles on their faces. that will for more. The simple fa ct of the matter is that you can't take. their minds away from 1he homeless and crack Most of them are rar safer and more comfortable than many of the public get the people pissed anymore.
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