“Dr. Turndorf has relationships figured out. If you want a great relationship, you must read her book and follow her 10-Step Method for lasting love.” -- Jack Canfield, Author of Chicken Soup for the Soul billion-dollar book empire
About Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Known to millions as "Dr. Love," radio and television personality Dr. Jamie Turndorf has been delighting audiences for three decades with her engaging blend of professional expertise and spicy humor. Her success is largely due to her remarkable ability to turn clinical psychobabble into entertaining and easy-to-understand concepts that transform lives. She has authored several books on resolving relationship conflicts with partners, friends, family members and children. Hay House is publishing her latest two books, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Connection (January 2014) and Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased (August 2014), introducing her new grief therapy method that combines her conflict resolution method with after death communication. Dr. Turndorf’s radio show “Ask Dr. Love’ is currently broadcast in 80 countries worldwide. She has been an invited expert on numerous television networks such as CBS, VH1, WebMD, and MSNBC. Most recently, CNN has been featuring her as the resident authority on relationship advice and human behavior.
About Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflicts and Rekindling Your Relationship
Heated fighting triggers a biochemical imbalance in men that causes them to flee from conflict. The technical name for this is the Demand/Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle, also known as “husband withdrawal.” This is the number one cause of marital and relationship strife, divorce, and domestic violence. Dr. Jamie Turndorf’s techniques, based on 30 years of research out of her Center for Emotional Communication, transform conflict into connection for a lifetime of lasting love. Even if you are locked in battle and have been for years, your relationship can change. Beginning with simple Cool-Down steps, you’ll learn why husband withdrawal occurs and then how to use Climate Control strategies to reset the relationship.
Women will discover the real reason why men never seem to listen—it’s nothing personal—and the secret trick that actually makes them want to listen and stick around to settle disputes. Dr. Turndorf’s proven conflict-resolution method interrupts the cycle of fighting for the majority of couples, and can also be used to defuse disagreements among friends and family members.
More About Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)
Dr. Jamie Turndorf holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and is an internationally renowned and respected relationship therapist, author, advice columnist and veteran media personality.
For three decades, millions of fans have been benefiting from Dr. Turndorf’s life changing advice via radio, TV, the Internet and print. She has been featured on NBC, CNN, CBS, and Fox, as well as on Inside Edition, VH1, and many others.
Her advice columns have been published on WebMD and iVillage, and in Men’s Health, Glamour, New Woman, American Woman, Cosmopolitan, and many other major magazines and periodicals. She also writes a relationship column focusing on conflict resolution for Psychology Today online.
For many she is best known as the creator of the immensely popular AskDrLove.com, the Web's first free relationship advice site, which she first launched in 1996. The site now boasts thousands of advice and how to articles on every imaginable relationship, dating or sex advice question.
She is also the author of two critically acclaimed books: Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First), which was endorsed by Dr. John Gray, NY Times #1 bestselling author of Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, and Make Up Don’t Break Up: Dr. Love’s Five-Step Plan for Reconciling with Your Ex.
A seasoned and talented entertainer and media veteran, Dr. Turndorf originally hosted her “Ask Dr. Love” radio show on WEVD New York City.
Links
Ask Dr. Love main Site: http://askdrlove.com Ask Dr. Love Main Site radio show page: http://askdrlove.com/ask-drlove-radio TalkZone Main radio show page: http://talkzone.com/shows/199/askdrlove.html BlogTalk Radio show page: http://blogtalkradio.com/ask-dr-love Facebook: http://facebook.com/askdrlove Twitter: http://twitter.com/askdrlove YouTube: http://youtube.com/askdrlove Sizzle Reel: http://askdrlove.com/page/sizzel-reel
Contact Dr. Jamie Turndorf, (845) 677-3450 (NY); [email protected]; [email protected]: dr.turndorf
AVAILABILITY: New York, nationwide by arrangement and via telephone.
Testimonials
“If anger and fighting are ruining your dream of a happy marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s conflict resolution program is for you.” --John Gray Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
“This well-researched book offers a thorough, step-by-step program that provides tools for couples to heal even the most troubled relationships.” --Dr. John Mack Pulitzer Prize winning author and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
“This book is mandatory reading for every couple that wants to build lasting love.” --John Bradshaw Author of NY Times #1 bestseller Homecoming
"You are a really fantastic TV guest. One of the best I’ve had! I want you back!" -- Natasha Curry Host HLN’s Weekend Express
“She knows the buttons to hit, wow! She grabs listeners’ attention!” -- Bill Maine WDUN Atlanta
"We loved you on our show last weekend. You're pure joy to work with! Glad you can do it again for us." -- Tammy Clayburn Senior Producer, HLN's Weekend Express
“Dr. Jamie Turndorf is really incredible. She's very insightful and excellent on the air.” -- Kim Iversen Syndicated Radio Show Host
"We've been listening to your radio show for a while. We love you." -- Nakia McNabb Producer, HLN's Weekend Express
"Luckily we have you to help us. We should give your book to every member of Congress. Thank you for being such a wonderful guest!" -- Diane Ray Manager, Hay House Radio Network
"She's funny. She's funnier than you, Tracy. I love her voice! She could read the phone book and I'd have to leave the room. Man I love her. She's the best guest I've ever had. We're going to have you on every week!" -- Eddie Eddie and Tracy Show, 700 WLW, Cincinnati
"We loved you on our show. We want you back! We so believe in your message that we are going to everything we can to spread your message! You have the most incredible energy." --Keryl Pesce Co-Host Happy Hour Mix 97.7 "Thank you soooooo much for being our stand in last night. You are just simply amazing. I've said it before and will say it again. It's one thing to have the knowledge, but to be able to deliver it so simply, so clearly and with so much fun, spice and love is a gift." --Keryl Pesce Co-Host Happy Hour Mix 97.7
"Wowie kazowie. Love your energy. Thank you for your GOOD LOVE interview. You were positively smashing." -- LeGrande Green Four-time Emmy winning producer and former Supervising Producer of The Oprah Winfrey Show
"She is electrifying. Wow, wow, like wow! She's all that and a bag of chips. Where were you 40 years ago? I would have had a better life! Dr. Love I'm grateful that you've come on "On The Street." Talking to a person like you makes us all better people! You're the best to me, lady." -- Wayne Metrano "On The Street" Cyberstation USA
"If anger and fighting are ruining your marriage, Dr. Turndorf’s program is for you." -- John Gray Author, Venus & Mars books
"Dr. Turndorf is an amazing individual who has wonderful advice to offer men and women of all ages and in all types of relationships. Ignore her counsel at your peril!" -- Bill Hammond III Winner of the Best Historical Fiction Award, 2012
"You are awesome Dr. Jamie. You really are. The best part about you is the way you translate complex psychological stuff into easy to understand and actionable insights." -- a ay W ll a s rodu er ela onsh p d e Ca
"Let me tell you why you're extremely important now. I really believe your message is there. You're spot on. More and more people should be taking advantage of what you're offering." -- Michael Dresser Syndicated Radio Host
"Good stuff. Great insight. I love your approach. Who doesn't need more healing. I love your idea of using your partner as a healing agent. That's such a great way to see your partner. You give great labels and patterns to look for. I love your method. You make it sound so easy. You have a great website with lots of great information and resources. These are the tools we all need." -- Dr. Matt Townsend Host, The Matt Townsend Show
"You are a riot. You certainly deliver. Now I know why you're so popular." -- Bonnie D. Graham Host, Radio Red
"You are such a blessing, and so awesome, Dr. Jamie. I want to take a moment to celebrate your style and your personality. Your content is phenomenal. You are so funny. I absolutely love you. You live what relationships are supposed to be about." -- Mat Boggs NY Times Bestselling author of Project Everlasting
READER REVIEWS:
Kissed MY Fights Goodbye! Reviewer: Wendy
I highly recommend this book but before I say why I must share that for the past five years I have been and continue to be a participant in group therapy lead by Dr. Jamie Turndorf. The skill, depth and humor with which she leads her group sessions is no less present in her writing. "Kiss Your Fights Goodbye" is crucial reading for anyone seeking greater understanding and happiness in the murky, volatile domain of human relations. While the insights in this book pertain mainly to romantic or marital relationships, what she's written here speaks just as well to the many different forms relationships take. In essence, Dr. Turndorf's book provides extremely valuable information and training on how to relate successfully with other human beings. I speak from experience when I say that in practice "Kiss Your Fights Goodbye" really has helped me to kiss my fights goodbye.
Love for Dr. Love and her wisdom Reviewer: Candice Ruffalo
I love this book. It just makes sense when Dr. Love says it. Reading this book is like holding her in your hands and having her speak to you directly in a way that's loving, supportive, clear, and no-nonsense. Every chapter leads you right into the next. It reads so fluidly that you'll find you're half way through the book before you know it. Then you'll have to finish it! Whether or not you think you can benefit from her wisdom, you certainly can and will. What Jamie Turndorf offers is the MOST important information you'll ever need. Because LOVE is the most important thing we do while we're here on this journey and Dr. Love is your guide.
You don’t need to be having issues to pick up this book Reviewer: Erik
Dr. Love's latest book is complete fun. It is informative and instructional without being overwhelming to the reader. The best part for me and my wife was that it gave us the same 'language' to communicate with. So instead of "hearing your spouse" you also "understand your spouse". Think of this book in this way: if you exercise on a routine basis and eat well, you are conditioning yourself to have a healthy body that lasts into your golden years with fewer health concerns. And when you do this, you learn to recognize signs and symptoms that crop up (sore this, achy that) and become more proactive about rehabilitating the affected areas so you can return to what you love doing. Similarly, your mind is a muscle that most of us rarely use to it's potential. Too often, people wake up too late and react to something that happened that was potentially fully avoidable. Save yourself the hassle - get this book, read it with your significant other, and communicate before you detonate. Then share it with all your friends!
A must-read for all couples Reviewer: WL Laney
Kiss you fights goodbye is a must read for every married couple. Dr. Jamie offers the most practical advice for people struggling with relationships and does it with what I would call the four “H”s – Honesty – a guide filled with honest assessments of interpersonal relationships Hurt – it is easy to be hurt when facing the truth of your own inability to live up to your responsibilities to the one you love Humor – enough humor to get over the hurt Hope – here is the beauty of the book, Dr. Love gives every reader hope for a relationship filled with joy and fulfillment for both party’s
I highly recommend “Kiss Your Fights Goodbye” by Dr. Jamie Turndorf.
Insightful Reviewer: Joanne Chen
Provides thought-provoking ideas and insightful answers to everyday struggles. A good read to better understand the values of our relationships.
A Book to Treasure Reviewer: Bill Hammond
I admit, at first I was not inclined to buy this book. For 34 years I was happily married to a wonderful woman. During those years we were more inclined to kiss each other hello than kiss our fights good-bye. But I relented, primarily because I am a great fan of Dr. Turndorf's writing. And I'm glad I did relent and purchase the book. As she does vernally on her syndicated radio talk show, Dr. Turndorf writes in an easy, comfortable and witty syle as she dispenses insights on why couples fight (first on the list: unmet needs) and advice on what you as a couple can do to cool your jets and re-kindle the love and passion that brough you together in the first place. In fact, her wise counsel applies to all relationships, not just to marriages, and the steps she profiles to bring us back to peace and harmony with each other are ones that people of all ages should closely heed. I highly recommend this book.
REKINDLING YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Reviewer: Khamneithang Vaiphei
Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship by Dr. Jamie Turndorf is a book designed primarily to help husbands and wives resolve chronic fighting, but others in any type of relationship will also find the book relevant and useful.
Dr. Jamie Turndorf has crafted ten witty and insightful chapters, including Understanding the Chemistry of Fighting, The Relationship Battleground: Identifying and Rating your Conflicts, The No-Fly (Off the Handle) Zone: Eliminating Fight Traps and Faulty Conflict-Resolution Tactics, Battle of the Bulge: The Sex Wars, and The Peace Treaty: How to Negotiate a Contract.
One reason why couples inevitably fall into fighting is because of unmet needs. Anger is the psyche’s alarm signal. Angry feelings are the natural by-products of frustrated needs. Anger is also an emotional smoke-screen that conceals the more vulnerable feelings of hurt, sadness and fear. According to the author, conflict resolution depends largely on the way in which negotiation is initiated and overseen. She has outlined the ideal and less-than-ideal ways to begin a discussion. Dr. Jamie Turndorf argues that relationship must be fed its own essential nutrients constantly. A starving relationship cannot survive.
Kiss Your Fights Good-bye is a path-breaking book that will help restore relationships to its original “first-love” and prevent destructive intrusions in the future. In a world teeming with circumstantial widows and widowers, it is timely and should help many couples sort out their differences with the help of the book.
Brilliant Reviewer: Andy Nieradko
Dr. Jamie Turndorf has written a fascinating guide to improving your relationship. Her sense of humor, and candor, also make this a refreshing look at a well worn subject. There are many concepts in this book that have never occurred to me. This book isn't just relationship advice with solutions offered, it gets into biochemical as well as psychological reasons a man and woman can love each other devotedly, yet still battle it out in the heat of the moment. Frankly, there were some examples offered that I was glad to have read about rather than experienced personally. Whether you're newly engaged, or been a couple for years there is a lot of wisdom you can take away from Kiss Your Fights Goodbye. I was not financially compensated for this post. I received the book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
100% Relatable Reviewer: Johnny
Thank goodness for this new book from Dr Turndorf. The issues and subsequent solutions addressed within these pages are ones which the vast majority of the population can relate to. The writing is direct and concise, there is little frivolous banter, which I certainly appreciated as I am someone who was in dire need of the clear and firm guidance Dr Turndorf provides.
Buy this book, if not for yourself, but for the countless loved ones in your life that might benefit from this valuable advice.
Cogent, Clear and Useful Reviewer: C. Damon
With Kiss Your Fights Good-bye, Jamie Turndorf has crafted an enormously useful guide to getting beyond arguing, which is the bane (and often fatal bullet) of relationships. It's always been a mystery to me why the people we care about most deeply are the ones we fight with most furiously, but that seems to be how we are made. In this easy-to-read book, Turndorf clearly and comprehensively explains why fighting happens and how to replace it with harmony and understanding. If you're not sophisticated about relationship dynamics or effective communication strategies, this book is a great place to begin. You'll come out with a host of 'actionable' approaches to getting out of the graveyard of fighting. If you've already read a lot of relationship books and know the ropes and rules, you'll still find value in these pages.There'll be places where you recognize yourself or your partner, and other places where you go, "Good idea! Yes, I'll try that." I'll be using it as a foundation for dialogue with my partner.
Someone once wrote that "The chains of marriage weigh so heavy that it takes two to carry them, sometimes three." Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye offers proven methods for throwing off those chains. And strengthening your relationship in the process.
Kiss Your Fights Good-bye is Effective and Entertaining Reviewer: Jessica
I normally don't read relationship books, but Dr. Jamie Turndorf's Kiss Your Fights Good-bye is both humorous and jam-packed with insight. Unlike other instructional/self-help books, Turndorf never talks down to you. Instead, she reads like your wiser, older best friend sharing advice over a pitcher of margaritas.
Though the book is marketed towards the older, married audience, her advice translates well to all sorts of relationships. In the book she outlines ten steps to conflict resolution, such as "Identifying the Chemistry of Fighting" and "Identifying and Rating Your Conflict," with each step elaborated on in one of her chapters. However what I enjoyed most about Turndorf's book, and what made it stand out to me, is not Turndorf not only instructs you how to resolve relationship conflict, but also how to prevent further conflict.
Overall, Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye is both effective and highly readable.
A Must Read For Everyone – In A Relationship or Single Reviewer: Dog Lover
"Kiss Your Fights Good-bye" is a definite must-read for everyone! I highly recommend it! Whether you are in a relationship or not, this book helps you identify patterns within yourself that may be holding you back from having the best relationship possible – step by step advice that is easy to understand and put into practice. For some time now, Dr. Turndorf a.k.a Dr. Love has been my "Go-To" person for advice concerning my relationships via her website or radio shows. Now, with “Kiss Your Fights Good-Bye”, I have even deeper access to her incredibly insightful advice. When it comes to love and relationships, there is no one else I trust more than Dr. Turndorf. Her advice is clear and thorough. In the book, Dr. Love identifies the old scars from our past that keep us from connecting and/or relating in beneficial ways with our lovers. For me, the book was a huge eye-opener. I could relate with some old scars and patterns of behaving that I know keep me from having the best relationship possible. After reading her book, I have started to put her step-by-step plan in place and am seeing great results in my current relationship. We are having less arguments now and instead, are communicating. What is also great about her book is the ability to identify the scars your partner may have. Once you do, Dr. Love gives you tips on how to best communicate with your partner based on this information. For me, this book has been a huge blessing. If you want to have the best relationship possible with your partner or future partner, get this book. Keep it as part of your love arsenal and use it to improve how you relate. I know you will be extremely grateful. Dr. Love, thank you!!
A Real Path to Relationship Healing Reviewer: Brent Robison “Author and Editor”
I'm sure that if Dr. Jamie Turndorf wanted to, she could write a dense, academic tome about the psychology of marital conflict. After all, her Psychology PhD dissertation is entitled "Negative Affect Communication Deficits and the Demand/Withdraw Negative Escalation Cycle: A Psycho-Physiological Causal Pathway Model." Yikes!
Lucky for us, that is not what she does in her books. In Kiss Your Fights Goodbye, she shows once again her gift for simple, practical (and even funny!) communication. This is a book full of clearly-explained solutions to universal relationship problems, a how-to manual that empowers average readers to take charge of their own happiness. But her chapters are not fluffy, empty, "5 easy steps." They are based solidly on scientific theory and clinical studies, as evidenced by the hefty bibliography.
Kiss Your Fights Goodbye is aimed first at women, and for good reason: the woman is the most relationship-focused member in the large majority of couples. However, as a male reader, I can testify that this book is absolutely beneficial to men as well. There is no reason for it to be limited to heterosexual relationships either. The principles apply to whatever form of intimate relationship you may be in.
There are two of Dr. Turndorf's precepts in particular that I found to be the most important tools for me (you would likely choose others). First, the hard-wired male chemistry of fight-or- flight, otherwise known as ANS (Autonomic Nervous System) arousal, results in a sort of mental shutdown in the face of a perceived attack by a mate. I know it happens; I've experienced it. And as long as I am aware of that completely normal reaction, I can observe myself going there, and I can do my best to push past it into listening and relating.
Second, perhaps my favorite, is what she calls Old Scars. This one is not gender-specific. It refers to the emotional wounds each of us still carries from childhood, and how our subconscious tries over and over again to heal those wounds through our current relationships. Trouble is, without awareness of this dynamic, those attempts to heal are doomed to fail because they are accompanied by the same old behavior patterns. It is crucially important to recognize your own old scars and discuss them with your partner, in order to escape the destructive, repetitive dance.
Finally, I like the no-nonsense way that Dr. Turndorf puts the reins in the hands of her readers. Kiss Your Fights Goodbye offers a real path to relationship healing, but it doesn't occur by magic; it takes alert awareness and diligent effort. I'll let this quote from the final chapter sum it up:
"You can continue to do what you've been doing or you can do what works. The choice is yours."