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Life on the Other Side LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE A personal story on how to live and thrive with a mental health problem, for anyone, at any age and any stage of life. This book gives honest, realistic, easy to read guides and stories on living with a mental illness by someone that knows. You will read about life in therapy, on medication, in school or work, dating with a mental illness, why motivation means nothing without action and real life tips and strategies to make your life easier. This is not a medical book. Life On The Other Side By Jack Pridmore Disclaimer and Copyright This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of professionals. The reader should regularly consult medical professionals in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. All medical and non-medical information within this book are true to the author only and are not intended to be specifically best practice although may be considered so by medical establishments at the time of writing. This book is considered semi-autobiographical and stories are for illustrative or entertainment purposes only and not in any way intended to be promoting any specific choices or lifestyle, nor are they intended to be read as an endorsement of the actions written. Copyright © 2019 by Jack Pridmore All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher/author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Exceptions are granted to schools, colleges and universities for free use of teaching up to one chapter for photocopying or reproduction, on condition of full credit being given. Special use for educational establishments will be granted via written permission from the author/publisher. All proceeds from this book are donated to OCD Action, the UK’s largest charity supporting those affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Thank you for your support. www.ocdaction.org.uk For trade buying requests, details of stockists or further purchasing information please contact [email protected] Printed in the United Kingdom First Printing, 2019 (Cloc Ltd) ISBN 0-9000000-0-0 Otherside Publishing United Kingdom www.LifeOnTheOtherSide.co.uk Acknowledgements Firstly, to every single person that has played a role in me getting to the point of being able to even write this. Medical professionals, teachers, friends, all of you. Andrew Bradley, Josh Cannings, Megan Morgan, Olivia Bamber, Imogen Pearce, Merle Currie, Pete Weiss, Dr Travis Osbourne and Richard Cooke, each of you played a starring role and I am so grateful. To anyone that contributed towards me living in my version of recovery, it is beautiful and vibrant and challenging and exciting and everything I’d hoped it would be. I hope I haven’t let you down. Towards writing the book itself I would like to thank everyone that has contributed, be that in their words in this book or in its research. Thank you to; Dr Joseph Hayes, Claire Littlejohn, Katy Jade Dobson, Sherelle Wedderburn, Rebecca Dawkins, Laura Thompson, Jake RT Brown, my good friend Chris D’Arcy and Mark Sloan - who made this book possible, we did it man. A quick shout out to everyone that has inspired this book by being who they are, including; Debbie, a warrior. See you for coffee soon. Oliver Wilson, who continues to impress me every day and Millie H, who I cannot wait to watch smash it as she deserves. This book is also in loving memory of Jo Morgan, a wonderful lady. To Lils, you inspired much of this book, I can’t wait to watch you fly. To Henry, you inspired much of me, you are the best man I’ve ever met. To Aubrey, until you write your own. I love you all. To my best friends and siblings, Dave (+ Densmore), Vix and Gary. My heroes. To my brother Bjorn. To my Ma and Pa, for always trying to try. To Nan and Gramps, cockney royalty. Thank you to the team at OCD Acton, for whom all proceeds from this book goes. You are all amazing. Thank you for everything. To anyone that reads this, learns from this and meets me on the other side, thank you so much. This is the thing I am most proud of in my life. I hope it is worthy. This book is dedicated to Olivia. The best friend I’ll ever have. How To Read This Book This is book one of two and is aimed at you, the reader living with a mental health condition. You may be diagnosed or undiagnosed, experienced or inexperienced, a teenager or adult, it is a book for everybody. On the other side of this book is another book ‘for the supporter’. Supporters are the people that help us live as happily and healthily as we can. They can look like anyone. It may be a parent, a partner, a best mate, teacher, colleague, boss or acquaintance that shows an interest. Ideally you will read your side and then pass them the book to read theirs. Once they are done, read their side too and you’ll get to see how I have suggested we can support those of us living with a mental health condition. After this is done, let them read your side. When you’ve both read both sides, I’d love for you to have a conversation on how to make life easier for you both. Chapters are not in a fixed order so pick this up and put it down as you please. If you don’t fancy doing any of this, the book is pretty thick. Probably make a good doorstop. LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE The Truth This seems like the only place to begin. Make no mistake, this is not going to be easy. Let’s agree on that right away. The sheer fact that you hold this book in your hand indicates that you are probably very aware of this already. You’ve probably experienced rock bottom or have faced it as you fall and are acutely aware of more darkness than you wished to ever see. Let’s also agree on something else very important. The fact that you are holding this book is in itself the very reason you have every ability to turn your life around entirely. And not just because this book is badass. Your thirst for improving your situation, be it borne from calmness or desperation, is the most relevant thing here. As long as you hold onto that you hold the golden ticket you need to begin your path to recovery. How you got here is less important. You’re here now. People may tell you what they think you want to hear and impress on you that recovery is easy, that it can be fast tracked or that it can be achieved by one method – be that therapy, medication, anything. People may tell you what you don’t want to hear and that recovery is an impossible goal, too difficult to truly attain or just not for you. Both statements are incorrect. Recovery is not black and white, nor is it a finish line we all run towards. Recovery, like mental health, is personal. That is such an important lesson to learn. This is all so personal. You are able to take a substantial amount of control in this. You are in charge here. You. Seeing recovery in a more appropriate light is a fantastic way to start. As you will come to read, recovery isn’t a line you pass or a destination you can name. It is a series of changes, improvements or amendments to your life that benefit you to the point you feel that you are ‘in recovery’. The Oxford English dictionary has a definition for recovery that I think wonderfully sums up how I believe recovery should be seen, it reads; ‘recovery is the action or process of gaining possession or control of something stolen or lost’. Now I think that really hits the point. If you lose your wallet and find it down the back of the sofa, that’s an action of recovery – mental health recovery is a little trickier so let’s look at the second part, ‘the process of gaining possession or control of something stolen or lost’. Bingo. This is what we are seeking to attain, control of our lives and of our health, and as it says in its very definition – it is a process. When I talk of finding this control, I am not suggesting we try to cheat life and search for an existence that we have a grasp on every single aspect of, this is both unattainable and unhealthy. Control is about being consistent and having a calmer, measured approach to the chaos and finding ways that work for us. The ‘stolen or lost’ part is probably something that resonates with you, it certainly does with me. Those of us to have suffered with mental illness will be harshly aware of the things we have lost, sometimes the people we have lost, and that often overwhelming feeling of theft. As if our time, health, opportunity or potential have been robbed from us. I’ve lived a chequered life to say the least. I’m 29 now and I have enjoyed some of the greatest highs life has to offer and some of the crushing lows it can bestow.
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