The Bernard Levin Award 2011for Student Journalism at the LSE

Bernard Levin Award 2011 Foreword

Six years ago a number of friends, Today, being conscious of the media journalists and LSE colleagues – all and possessing an ability to write admirers of Bernard Levin – decided so that people want to read it is a to establish this Award. skill that is invaluable, whatever you are studying at LSE. We hope that As a student at LSE, Bernard was this small booklet will signal to LSE well known through his writing in students, whether they entered the and Review, award or not, that new communica- his active role in Students’ Union tion technologies need quality jour- meetings, and his entertainment on nalism to be effective just as much, if the stage of the Old Theatre. not more, than traditional media. However, Bernard himself once recalled a Professor prophesising that he would be known for something entirely different: “…and I can remember that Professor and his name, and his very words, not because his name was Smellie, but because I can still hear his voice, which had a little jerk between words – ‘Levin, what you want to do is write,’ and I did.” David Kingsley OBE, Sir John Burgh, Libby Meyer and We are fortunate that throughout his Charlie Glyn life as a journalist Levin’s humour led us into taking seriously important and often little known – as well as notorious – injustices, which appeared every week in the columns of the most prestigious and popular newspapers and journals in Britain. His comments on events around the world were always appropriate and foreseeing.

3. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Bernard Levin

Bernard Levin CBE BSc (Econ), a Born of a Jewish family, his concerns student and graduate of the LSE were for the persecuted around the (1948-1952) and a Honorary Fellow world, and included the individual of the School, was a brilliant debater as well as the universal moral and in the Students’ Union, a talented democratic issues that loomed large performer in the annual Student throughout the second half of the 20th Revue, and a contributor to the Clare century and are still with us today. Market Review magazine and The Beaver newspaper while he studied at Bernard’s mentors at the LSE were the LSE. Professor of Political Science , and Philosopher Professor Sir It was as a student at LSE that he . developed his taste for classical music and the theatre, and his passion for Bernard’s wider popularity – some opera in particular. These interests might say notoriety – grew as were fed by the close proximity of the television became established LSE to House and as a prime popular medium. He ’s plethora of concert halls and participated in many programmes theatres. including the satirical “That Was The Week That Was” chaired by Much of his early writing consisted of . Bernard died on 7th reviews of concerts, films and plays. August 2004, having suffered from He became a regular columnist for Alzheimer’s through the last years of , , , his life. New Statesman, and appeared in many other publications around the In November 2005 Bernard was world. selected by his fellow journalists as one of Britain’s most influential It was Bernard’s intellectual and journalists of the past four decades. stinging commentaries on politics and political figures of all persuasions Sadly, most of his collections of that brought him national and writings are out of print, which is why international fame. His writing this booklet includes examples of his was founded on an instinctive work that are as relevant today as championing of human rights, for the they were when he wrote them. underdog and the vulnerable, as well as a distrust of anyone abusing power.

4. Bernard Levin Award 2011 About the award

The award was developed by Sir John Burgh, David Kingsley and Elizabeth Anderson, working with other interested friends of Bernard and LSE Alumni. The task for entrants is to write a column of around a thousand words that celebrates, in any style they choose – but bearing in mind the merits of Bernard Levin’s writing – the benefits to a LSE student of the intellectual, cultural, political, professional, business, media, or entertainment life surrounding the School’s campus.

To help start them in their career, the winner of the award is offered The Bernard Levin an internship with a national media Award for Student organisation. The Times and Daily Journalism celebrates Mail both supported the award for a distinguished 2 years each. We are pleased to graduate of the work with the BBC as the internship London School of provider this year. Economics, Bernard Levin, one of the In addition, the winner receives greatest and most £500 and a ‘Bernard Levin Night admired journalists Out’ in - dinner the School has and a theatre performance. Highly produced. In addition Commended entrants will be offered to celebrating a day tour of the BBC. Bernard Levin, the award aims to seek The Winner and Highly Commended out the journalistic Entries are published in this talent of tomorrow at booklet, which is distributed to LSE. media, LSE academics, LSE alumni, donors and supporters.

5. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Judges’ report

Judging the award was more difficult Bernard is a great example of than ever this year. All entries were what the School can give you: the of a very high standard. The judges confidence to do things your way. enjoyed reading articles that tackled original subjects. We were impressed The judges and organisers of the by the creative styles adopted by Bernard Levin Award thank all of some entrants. the entrants for their hard work and for making the judging a real A key theme found throughout pleasure. We hope that you enjoyed the entries was a sense of political entering the competition, and that empowerment. The LSE has always you have learned something from the been a hotbed of campaigning experience. activity, encouraging students to find their own voice on political and international matters. Perhaps this Libby Meyer experience helped to shape Bernard’s Chair of judging panel writing, which often drew people’s attention to the injustices of this world.

Many articles also focussed on the great diversity of students at LSE. The School brews an enormous opportunity to get to know and experience the world through its international student body.

LSE, whatever your specialist subject, doesn’t tell you what to do, but encourages your ability to question and search for the meaning of what is going on in the world, and makes you feel you can go and contribute something to it. LSE is an experience, as well as a university. It gives you the tools to make your own way through life and to enjoy it as well.

6. Bernard Levin Award 2011 The Judges

In the Chair in , Daily Mirror Libby Meyer and Daily Mail – where she currently writes a highly-regarded Saturday Libby is a recent LSE alumnus and column on human relationships. She honorary member of the Students’ is a regular book reviewer for The Union. Libby was introduced to the Times. Bel also writes fiction and is world of Bernard’s writings when she involved in broadcasting work such was Treasurer of the Students’ Union as documentary films for BBC 2 and and has become a strong advocate , as well as programmes for of the Bernard Levin Award. While BBC Radio 4. at LSE Libby was a member of The Beaver collective. She is currently an Charlie Glyn economist in the civil service. Charlie is the first official Activities and Development Officer of the Giles Wilson Students’ Union and oversees all extra-curricular activities at LSE. Giles Wilson is features editor of Studying a more quantitative the BBC News website, where he’s LSE degree, there were limited responsible for the Magazine section, opportunities for her to write more infographics, special reports, the creatively; she took full advantage picture desk and blogs - which he and of any opportunity, writing 5,000 Nick Robinson introduced to the BBC. words about Facebook. She is a He also established the use of social keen sportswoman and plays a lot of media in BBC News, and is currently Netball for both LSE and a London coordinating features teams for the club. international versions of the website. Sachin Patel Bel Mooney Sachin Patel was Executive Editor of The Beaver in the 2010-11 session. Bel Mooney was a close friend of He only ever intended to write music Bernard’s and wrote the entry on reviews for the paper, but such was him for the Dictionary of National his passion for journalism that he Biography. A writer and broadcaster managed to cultivate the interest in for nearly 40 years, Bel has written student politics required for loftier for many magazines and most editorial positions. In his spare time, national newspapers, with columns

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he read for a BSc in Philosophy and Tokyo. He also wrote ‘How World War Economics, to look useful; however, II was Won on the Playing Fields of he still has designs on being the next LSE’. Alexis Petridis or Alex Ross.

Alex Kane Alex is the editor-in-chief of the , where she runs a tight ship. An anthropologist cum economic historian at LSE, Alex spends much of her time wondering what any and all of it means. Instead of returning to her homeland at the Jersey Shore, her next endeavour is producing an original play to premier at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this summer.

In Attendance David Kingsley David Kingsley was at LSE when Bernard was around. Their friendship developed through the Wexford Opera Festival in Ireland. David was President of the Students’ Union in the 1950’s, was the youngest Governor in the early 1960’s, a Governor for 40 years, Governor Emeritus, an Honorary Fellow, First Chair of Alumni Association, received an OBE for East London work with children, an Hon. Member Royal College of Music, and received an Hon. Doctorate from Soka University,

8. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Winner Alizeh Ovais Kohari

Alizeh is currently wrapping up her final year of undergraduate studies in Government and Economics - a discipline that, she feels, makes her an unlikely writer of creative fiction. She imagines she writes more than she does, frets when she realises this isn’t true, and remains befuddled by her need to sculpt sentences into a story at the most inconvenient of times: in the middle of the night, for instance, right before her macroeconomics exam.

9. Bernard Levin Award 2011 The Wrangling Of Minds

by Alizeh Ovais Kohari

When, with a solitary flick, the two Another friend joins us. He is livid: hands on the clock become one and on the way back from the LSE, he the demand and supply lines begin saw a bus that stated, proudly, boldly, to blur into each other, I shut my that ‘There’s probably no God, so textbook and call up a friend. By the stop worrying and have a good day’. time the clock hands have stretched ‘To assume the absence of a God,’ he as far away from each other as they seethes, biting angrily into an apple, possibly can, we are perched by ‘to just assume it so nonchalantly, the river, on the Southbank, eating I mean, come on’ – with a vehement lunch. gesture towards the river and the sky – ‘how could there not be a God?’ ‘My head is cluttered with Plato,’ she says. ‘Mine with regression lines,’ I And another friend points at my groan. ‘Let’s talk about something copy of The Economist, which shows else.’ a child in Africa, hollow eyes on a gaunt face, and says quietly, ‘How We are economists-in-training could there be one?’ with a love for books and so, our conversation skips from one to And so it goes, the wrangling of another. Watching gaggle after minds. We sit by the water and gaggle of insufferably cheery tourists debate the existence of God, St float by, I tell her how in a book I Paul’s slender steeple on one side am currently reading, a character of the river, the Tate’s fat finger on declares that she knows a trick for the other, while above us the sky the perfect picture: ‘You must look changes weather with characteristic into the camera and say ‘La petite English nonchalance. Yesterday, pomme.’ I stumble over the French; a squabble ensued over the her tongue flies over it with enviable independence of the subcontinent ease. We repeat the words together (‘We only left because we wanted – ‘La petite pomme!’ – and freeze to, because it was in our interests,’ for a moment, two (usually serious- asserted an English friend and the looking) girls with pretend pouts. We Indians and Pakistanis amongst us, look at each other from the corners staunch patriots, pounced on him, of our eyes, confirm how absurd our hackles raised.) We ponder over we look, and convulse into helpless the secret feminism in Shakespeare’s laughter. A Taming of the Shrew, watch Oedipus at the National Theatre and

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wonder why he, Oedipus, felt the off the Embankment, Samuel Pepys need to gorge his eyes out – after resided; across the street, Sir Arthur all, he didn’t know he was marrying Conan Doyle. Virginia Woolf lived in his mother, did he now? Economics Bloomsbury, stringing words into geeks, we discuss the world in terms sentences of staggering beauty (of of opportunity cost, marginal utility, Big Ben: ‘the leaden circles dissolved cost-benefit analyses. We point at the in the air’). And near Charing Cross, Hare Krishna cart that parks itself in a boot-blacking factory, Dickens on Houghton Street every single day began his career. and joke again and again, always laughing, never tiring: ‘But there’s and Bertrand no such thing as a free lunch!’ Russell, Charlie Chaplin and ol’ Shakespeare, of course – in London We are from all over the world, with and in its past, we find ourselves in ideas diametrically opposed, tempers extremely good company. And this dangerously similar; we argue, proximity to power, and to greatness, debate, discuss, dissect, try to know is why so many of us rush to lectures the causes of things. We refuse to every day, sticky-eyed and crusty- be each other. And that, though it lashed, dodging runners along the spawns so many quarrels, is the best Embankment or elbowing through part of it all. the early morning crush outside Holborn Station; why, as exams near, London will do that to you: it will the School is flurried with textbook- turn over and annihilate ideas poring, knowledge-chugging, no one that you have carefully nurtured caring when the day sky darkens in rooms sheltered from the light to dusk. We want to be one of them. of experience. And even as those Whether it is towards the City that long-cherished views are twisted we turn our faces, or Downing and crushed, even as they begin to Street, or the Royal Courts of appear so – silly, we find ourselves Justice right next door – or towards emboldened by London, by all that something infinitely more abstract has taken place within its fold, by all like ‘World Peace’ or ‘The Great that can still take place – perhaps, Modern Novel’ – we know that it is by our hands. Less than half a mile possible. London has taught us so. away from the LSE, in ramshackle Soho quarters, Karl Marx once weaved plans of a revolution. Just

11. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Highly commended Charmian Walker-Smith

Charmian is a mature student studying a part time Masters in Social Policy and Planning at LSE. She completed her first degree in History of Art and Italian at Leeds university. When she isn’t studying she also hosts a weekly radio show on Pulse radio. Charmian lived and studied in Italy for two years and briefly worked in both Hong Kong and Buenos Aires. She now works part time organising events for The Guardian newspaper. In her spare time she likes to try cooking recipes beyond her ability and writing endless tweets about her cat.

12. Bernard Levin Award 2011 In Bed With The Enemy

By Charmian Walker-Smith

The scandal which renamed the LSE forget its heritage. People who the Libyan School of Economics cut changed the world came here, deep. For most of the students on pioneering thinkers and a decent campus the problem was not the smattering of iconoclasts. George funding from Libya when at the time Bernard Shaw, JFK, Eugenia Charles. it had diplomatic and trade relations Even in fiction Josiah Bartlett, the with the UK. No, the accusation that president of the US depicted in the stung most was that Saif al-Islaam West Wing is an old boy. He’s upright, Gaddafi could have plagiarised fiercely bright, compassionate, funny when he studied for his PhD at the and courageous – traits that would school. That betrayed everything probably be true of most of the LSE the students cherished most about fraternity. LSE. That it demands excellence and integrity. LSE’s unimpeachable reputation was hard earned, built on enquiring You only have to speak to some minds demanding rigorous debate. of the students to appreciate the The art of argument and diplomacy sacrifices that we have all made to runs through every seminar. You can be here. We have given up jobs, left have any political leaning, as long families, travelled half way around as you are prepared to come open the world to live in damp rooms and minded. How often do hard headed spend hours in a crowded library. capitalists and left wing policy wonks A lot of people comment on how break bread together? Not often diverse the university is. What is enough, but it happens frequently at more remarkable is its great unity. LSE. You are routinely asked to look Our motto expresses the desire to at any problem from all the angles. understand the causes of things. We The respect and rigour involved in work hard to come here because of any intellectual battle means we the outstanding reputation that LSE never come to blows. Considering has, or possibly had. Now we have to the amount of heated debate going ask ourselves, how could LSE judge on it is amazing that there isn’t more things so badly? Had it not done its violence. If anything you normally homework? Worse, had it sold out? you go for coffee with your nemesis. It is the best skill you learn: argue Walking through the corridors of well and without falling out with your LSE buildings, pictures of illustrious opponent. alumni line the walls. You cannot

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Informed opinion and argument sometimes it feels like Houghton are forces for good. People who Street is the only place where disagree get things done, they anyone else will care. In a world question everything and work out where argument and discussion is their differences. Those awkward frequently overtaken by popularity argumentative types, for all their contests, we are, and always will be, faults, are the only ones with the in the business of asking awkward capacity to offer olive branches questions. across cultural and academic gulfs. In a place like LSE there is no room Apart from anything else arguments for plagiarism; it could not be allowed (non-violent ones at least) are healthy. to happen. But we need to find out Beryl Bainbridge claimed “A day if it did; we need answers and we’ll without argument is like an egg have to study the evidence. The LSE without salt”. Admittedly the benefits might have to battle to restore its of salt are disputed, but if you put reputation but the scars will fade. We that aside, recent research from the will keep on doing what we do best university of Michigan found that and we will learn the lessons. We women who did not speak their mind will be our own harshest critics, we during fights were four times more will row and wrangle and pursue the likely to die during the course of the truth, because it is what we always study. An inability to argue is deadly. do. Hang the obesity crisis; it is apathy that kills.

“Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you. Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is all.” Bernard Levin once said. Not at LSE. At LSE you can stand for fifty minutes in the rain, with a random person you walked out of your seminar with and know EXACTLY why they will vote for their student rep, their favourite dancing on ice contestant, or their local councillor. It all matters, and

14. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Highly commended Andréana Lefton

Andréana learned to love language from her mother, who spoke in the most tantalizing tones about one particular kind of person: a reader. Her father sealed the deal by reading aloud to her every night, everything from Tolkien to Rumi. She’s now completing her MSc in Philosophy and Public Policy at LSE, with a BA in International Studies and (surprise) Education from American University in Washington DC. Her writing has been recognized by The Atlantic magazine and the Elie Wiesel Prize in Ethics. Literacy is her passion.

15. Bernard Levin Award 2011 A Home for the Wander- Wounded By Andréana Lefton

What is he whose grief bears such Cities are notorious for mindless an emphasis, whose phrase of living. But in London, if you don’t sorrow conjures the wandering pay attention, you’ll be run over. stars, and makes them stand like Literally. A friend of mine jokes that wonder-wounded hearers? – Hamlet you’re not a Londoner until you’ve been nearly hit by a cab. But the key word is nearly. In London, near- Do you like your music black or blue? misses are like echoes of the Blitz. Black and blue, baby. I like my music Survivors sometimes speak of life bruised. during wartime as “heightened,” supernatural somehow. Yet fearfully Bruised music. Two words spoken by mortal. London retains this a rough sleeper near Holborn, near paradoxical blend of headiness and the London School of Economics, caution. Step into oncoming traffic, where students defy sleep in the yet mind the gap. Opera, theatre, library, their caffeinated bodies musicals – the choice is yours. Yet the slumped over Schumpeter or Smith. greatest risk remains: to chance a Yet, come seven o’clock, when the smile at a stranger on the tube. second wind beckons, see these same students emerge, bleary-eyed, with a I chanced a smile at the rough look of determination. You can almost sleeper, but got little response. Life’s see the thought passing through the poetry isn’t always as neat as we’d prefrontal cortex to the emotional like. Yet, again, it’s the near-misses and reward centers of the brain. This that make life so thrilling, warning is London. What shall we do? you to hold tight, stay alert. It’s the near-misses that make the sudden, The day of the rough sleeper was blinding hits so palpable. So when clear and sunny. Yes, those days do you’re hit by the realization that happen in London. I was walking, here you are, at LSE, in a cohort too fast as usual, the pace of London of students who act as the most being somewhere between a trot inspiring check on ego possible, it’s and a jog. My ears were free from like strong coffee for the soul. You encumbrance (read: iPod), and I was wake up, rub the grit from your eyes, able to take in the sounds of the city. stumble from your mental library. I stopped glaring at my feet and And live. looked up. Trafalgar Square. Covent Garden. The Strand. Pinch me. It’s tempting, when writing about

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this hyper-real existence, to rattle off bruising yourself on the sharp chords a list of places and events; to name- of life. London is not for the mere drop unsubtly (“yes, I believe it was flâneur, the estranged walker who somewhere between the Andrew holds herself aloof among strangers. Motion talk and a reception for It’s for the engaged walker, one who Amartya Sen that I lost my wallet”); witnesses – then acts. to get all tied up in the content of days without pausing to look at their We begin at LSE, which just now is summation. Thinking about the filled with students raising money for past two terms, my mind reels from earthquake struck Japan. Others are sensory overload. First, there is my protesting Gadafi. Oh, and over there, walk to school, through the surging you’ll see the Hare Krishna-mobile, heart of “The City” (which must be providing cheap eats to cash-strapped written in caps), past St. Paul’s, Fleet learners. Dodge down leaflet alley, Street, the . aka Houghton Street, and stop for a There are the sights – late October quick pick-me-up at the Garrick. Then roses scaling old church walls – and it’s on to class, perhaps a seminar also the smells – beer froth blending on moral philosophy. The professor with sewage and cigarettes. The tickles some thoughts about Kant and primeval filth of London. How to cosmopolitanism, which you develop organize this gorgeous confusion? over (more) coffee afterwards. And How to summarize this sensory don’t be surprised if your professor barrage? shows up at the George (the campus pub) for Fright night libations. Here Let’s build a dream day, a day of the student’s marginality is replaced. unlimited hours, that begins and Not only are you accepted. You are ends with a startling realization and welcomed. spends its middle age expanding your capacity for generous living. LSE is a place for the young and Knowing London, the day will be metaphorically homeless to taste a temperamental mix of sun and true belonging. When people ask me, cloud. Crushed into the tube, imagine ‘Where are you from?’ they either yourself in a time and-space machine, get a puzzled look (could you repeat rocketing through the bowels of the the question?), or else a catalogue of city – not just London, but Tokyo, places, in no particular order, which Mumbai, Tehran. Today you will I could potentially call home. For understand the rough sleeper’s many people, this roving existence phrase of beauty within sorrow, is somewhat alien. Not at LSE. We’re

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a school of imaginary creatures straight out of a Borges novel, each of us glittering with stories and selves. A hybrid bunch of multi hyphenates. Draw up a seat, take a load off.

Confusing as these shifting boundaries and identities can be, we all speak a common language, and share at least one interest: London! On our dream day, the city’s treasures spread before us, we face none of the usual time constraints and can sample at whim. Aida at the Royal Opera House. As You Like It at The Globe. A smorgasbord of options. But the student is often a solitary creature. How to make sense, then, of this strange groups of “others” chatting by your side?

Aha! The end-of-day realization – the one you’ve been waiting for – hits, right on target, no nearmisses this time. Cue the bruised music. You’ve made your own belonging, shaped it just as surely as the Thames sculpts its banks. You and your posse of nomads, your LSE rough thinkers who refuse easy answers even when truth cuts to the bone. So unplug your iPod and listen to the sounds of London. You never know what you may hear.

Come. Walk with me.

18. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Highly commended Rimmel Mohydin

Rimmel is in her second year of pretending she understands her degree. She was an avid contributor to The Beaver where her articles often made jabs at the banalities and joys of being a broke student. To shut her up, she was made Comment Editor and so far, she can’t complain. After being published here and there, she is now certain that the only thing that will keep her attention is a career in journalism. She’d like to thank her parents for always letting her find her own way, no matter how bad she is with directions.

19. Bernard Levin Award 2011 I’m With Stupid

By Rimmel Mohydin

“Gosh, you must be really smart confuse you’. or something.” That’s usually the response I get when asked about I came here thinking that I was a what the hell I’m doing with my life. quasi-goddess. My word was rigid Being enrolled at the London School law and questioning my oh-so-well of Elite Brains is meant to imply founded opinions? Moi? Ha! Of course validation, granting of permanent all British plays were written by bragging rights and the universal Shakespeare. What were states if not acknowledgment of your so-called self-serving hypocrites? And must above average IQ. It was with this we even give the genius of Mozart a smug self assurance that I packed second thought? You see, the world up my life into 30 kg and flew across made sense. half the world to make Houghton Street home. Somehow, somewhere That all went to hell when I found between running to Clement House, myself literally drowning in thoughts queuing up for Hare Krishna and from Cambodia, Australia, Estonia looking for that elusive library Set or some other far-flung land that Text, I lost myself only to discover contradicted my own. At first I clung that as far as the “Gosh” impression desperately to the fraying edges of goes, it doesn’t go far. my perspectives, going from violent outcries to meekly stuttering ‘But..?’ This isn’t a self deprecating overview And then I thought about the way I of how everyone else at LSE is so thought. darn clever with their overflowing complaint boxes of brains and shiny And I felt stupid. hopes for the way the world should be. I genuinely feel stupid here. It I realised that the simplest took me ages to realize that I didn’t explanation was never the best have to ‘buy’ The Beaver. For the life explanation, only the most of me I could not figure out where convenient. I didn’t go beyond the Shaw library was. What’s a Squid thinking a certain point because I card and don’t even get me started on was scared that I would be proven understanding what my degree was wrong. When the familiar is replaced about. by the strange, we fear getting lost in a world much closer to truth than So imagine my giddy dismay when to comfort. I was terrified of being a lecturer introduced his module by ridiculed hence the arrogant exterior saying, ‘the point of this course is to

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who followed my conclusions with discussing the English School over question marks. We assume, only to canapés with the very professor become the first three letters of the who fathered it. The only thing I’ve word. learnt about not knowing where in the name of all that is Architectural I think that everything about LSE, Digest I am, is that being lost is from the lovely Italian lady in precisely where LSE wants you to be. Wrights’ Bar to the overcrowded lifts that take longer than taking It’s easy to get lost between E402 the stairs, is designed to make my and D606. It’s even more easy to original judgments seem like Greek get lost in a big city. And when you to me. I think the architects bore this can’t make your way from Halls to in mind when they constructed the Houghton Street, you feel not only campus from urban jigsaw puzzles lost but also (here it goes again) very (which I now fondly chalk up to stupid. But as has been established, ‘whimsical’). You would think that stupidity at LSE is quite delightful the bridge from the Old Building’s because living in High Holborn third floor would lead to the same I often use being confounded by level in the East Building but you turns and corners as an excuse to end up mired somewhere between skip down Drury Lane and catch the Mezzanine floor and a long a matinee. If visiting friends at passageway that apparently leads Bankside, I’d use ‘taking in the to nowhere. Because it’s week 7 and beauty of the London skyline’ as an you should really know your way excuse for being late to class. Sure around the maze upon we have a bit of a moisture problem by now, you’re bound to feel just a but if anything, the entertainment little bit closer to stupid. But not value of everyone stripping in to worry; pick a spot, any spot on London the second the sun flickers a campus and chances are that within trembling ray makes it worth it. a 10 foot radius, someone else is also lost. Sure you set out to see Loyd I don’t resent feeling stupid here. Grossman’s lecture somewhere in I am not the brightest bulb but St. Clement’s but somehow you find no one has ever put me down for yourself attending an International asking questions. I feel no shame Relations Department party in the in asking security which floor the Senior Common Room discussing fourth floor cafe is on or banging the the English School over canapés with door to a teacher’s office demanding

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banging the door to a teacher’s office demanding that she explain the intricacies of Determinism to me. To know the causes of things means a lot of who, what, when, where and why and nowhere is this done better than the battlefield that is an LSE classroom. I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life and when I graduate, I won’t even have the red and white banner of LSE to hide behind. But I don’t feel the need to run for a GPS system to navigate me through life anymore. I don’t get scared knowing that I could get lost in the building of a potential job interview. I am not too worried about moving to bigger cities. I think I’d get along with most members of the UN. The long and short of it? I love how LSE makes me feel like a complete and utter idiot.

22. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Judges Pick

This year, there was a particular article which caught the judges’ eye for its tongue in cheek manner that was similar to that of Bernard’s own writing. The source of the parody was, in fact, the 2010 winning entry. Although the article was not selected for a prize, the judges agreed that it should feature in this booklet for a worthy attempt which Bernard would have, no doubt, approved of!

23. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Bernard Levin Award: A Parody By Luke Smolinski

Argh! Wake up! Put on my clothes. from Tajikistan. Oh, what larks to Still haven’t written the Bernard have a friend from Tajikistan! I talked Levin Award article. Not to worry. to him for so long I almost forgot he No time. Not even to complete a was from Tajikistan. Ho hum. Argh! sentence. Hairbrush, orange squash, Bernard Levin Award! Write about mirror. Forget conjunctions. Wolf Virgil. Insert another reference to down a bowl of muesli. Forget to Brahms. Talk about how great the shave. Muse about how wonderful School is. Don’t mention Libya. Yeah, LSE is. Hum a Stravinsky tune to the judges will like that. myself. That’ll impress the judges... Think of a good title for Bernard Catch the 142 bus to Aldwych. Levin Award. Something catchy: That’s original, right? Oh, what-ho, how about “Entry for Bernard Levin my friend from India is on board! Award”? No, too literal. How about We discuss the nuances of pseudo- “Fire-breathing gerbil gobbles Leninist Confucianism, Baroque children sandwich with Norman architecture in Liberia and the Lamont”? No, too inventive. How handkerchiefs with which Pope John about “Le journaliste extraordinaire Paul II used to blow his nose. Hold écrit un article très magnifique!”? No, on! Got to dash! My stop! Argh! Watch too... French. Keep walking, maybe out for the pigeons! I’ll come up with something good. Argh! More pigeons! Arrive at LSE. Late for class. Hello, howdy, guten tag, Buenos Aries, Sometimes when I watch those , -.-.--...-. I can never remember pigeons flap by, I think how how many times they high-five in wonderful the LSE is, how Kyrgyzstan. Twenty-two classmates, multicultural, how beautiful the grey fifteen countries, ten strange accents, slabs of concrete are, how truly really eleven if you include the Northerner. brilliant LSE is, almost heavenly, and Last week, we discussed cognitive how truly and utterly lucky I am to anti-realist theory. At least the class go to a School with so many different did. No-one could understand what nationalities that I don’t speak to... the teacher was saying. Please give me the award.

Out of class. Meet up with my Chinese friend. Chat to my friend from North Korea. Air-kiss my friend

24. Bernard Levin Award 2011 2011 Entrants

All articles can be found on the LSE SU Website at www.lsesu.com/bla. If you would prefer a paper copy of the entries, please contact the Students’ Union at [email protected].

Calum Young – My Wright’s Bar Sandwich Christopher Wilford – Babel Or Babylon? Xin Ting Wang – The Transformer Jessica Dell – Richness Of London, Introduced Through Its Newspapers Matt Guilhem – Resident Osmosis Tausha Cowan – A Smile Goes A Long Way Emma Kelly – Chip Off The Old Block Elizabeth Lowell – LSE Persepctives: A Lesson In The Human Factor Steph Linsdale – Why State School Kids Don’t Need To Moan Rasha Touqan – Well Toto, We’re Most Definitely Not In Kansas Anymore Christopher Finnigan – Evening On LSE’s Houghton Street Neha Jain – All In A Day’s Work Matthew Shearman – Kitchens Of London, Unite! Nathan Briant – LSE: The 1960s Rawan Mariam Abdulla – LSE Is That Place Maeve Glavey – Just Another Week At LSE Eugenia Marna – Dear Jurisprudence Heba Elsayed – Chronicles Of A PhD Student: How Events In Cairo Led To My Own Revolution In Understanding Anita Shargall – Reminiscences Make One Feel Deliciously Aged And Sad Claire Tighe – A Sense Of Greater Responsibility Laurence Vardaxoglou – A Great Big Thank You Gabrielle Letimier – Youthhood Seductions Alexander Young – The ‘Melting Pot Of Cultures’ Rouba Mhaissen – The List Marina Gerner – LSE: Love, Sex And Education Nevena Crljenko – A World Elsewhere Sri Ranjini Mei Hua – Swing Yangyang Fang – Get Ready To Battle Kerry-Rose O’Donnell – Pinstripes And Placards Marion Koob – How Lucky We Are Alice Fonarev – Balancing Acts Mina Yilmaz – A Step Into The ‘Dreamhouse’ Teresa García Alonso – LSE Students’ Union

25. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Safety In Numbers By Bernard Levin

The Times July 25th, 1986

Now that the writ-slinging in the – many millions of them do, don’t Botham drugs affair has officially they? stopped, I want to raise a related matter. The man who first made the I am sorry to go on so relentlessly in allegations against Botham tried to the negative, but the question leaves minimize their effects by explaining me no choice. No, many millions of that his sporting hero did not use people do not smoke dope. the ‘hard’ drugs; ‘I am aware,’ he said, ‘that he smokes dope, but Is there, then, no resting point for doesn’t everybody?’ the accuser, nowhere to stop the apparently inevitable slide towards I am in a position to give an a claim by me that nobody smokes absolutely authoritative answer to dope, no question that he could ask that question: it is No. with hope of my assent, however grudging? Yes, there is. If he were To start with – and this is how I to say ‘Many of my friends, who come to be such an authority on the are not in the least representative subject – I don’t smoke dope. But that of the country as a whole and, I is not what I rest the main weight guess, a smaller number of my more of my denial on; the man who asked distant acquaintances, smoke dope, what he doubtless thought was a though of course I realize that, rhetorical question would be entitled considered as a proportion of the to say that his ‘everybody’ was not to whole population, all dope smokers, be taken literally, and that what he not just the ones I know, form only meant was that most people smoke a very tiny percentage – three or dope. four per cent, perhaps, possibly five or six – and even of these the Unfortunately for the gloss, I can claim that most of them smoke dope give a similar assurance, with a regularly or often is plainly absurd, similar certainty, to the question particularly since many of them have ‘Don’t most people smoke dope?’ It is had no more experience of the habit the same answer: No, most people do than an occasional puff at school or not smoke dope. university, and while we are about it you must remember that I have Here we may imagine our questioner no means of verifying the claims of rephrasing his question again. No, many others to be inveterate dope of course most people don’t smoke smokers and strongly suspect that dope, but you know what I mean they have never touched it in their

26. Bernard Levin Award 2011

lives and pretend to be constant shaking of the earth. users out of a rather pathetic belief that otherwise they will be thought The claim that most people take effete’ – why then, I think, he and drugs is different in one obvious I would find ourselves in complete sense: it inverts the headline rile accord. But then it wouldn’t be a and makes news out of the revelation very interesting story, would it? that a dog has bitten a man. But that doesn’t matter; what matters As I have pointed out before, is that the small minority of which a newspaper with the habit of it is true is, in making the claim, making its main headline of such clearly seeking the ‘protection’ of unsensational matter as ‘6,729 the majority. By mingling with the aircraft land safely’ or ‘Millions crowd, they can become anonymous of Londoners not mugged over and unrecognizable, part of the weekend’ would go out of business norm. fairly quickly. But the ‘Most people smoke dope’ claim, though it is That could be usefully legally, of ridiculous in any form, is not just course; if there is a general belief the equivalent of the bad news that that dope smoking is practised by does sell papers. It is, subtly but more or less everybody, it will in significantly, in a different category. time come to be ignored, if it is not too flagrant, by the police, which is The reason why ‘Practically indeed exactly what has happened. nobody murdered last year’ is not But there is a far more important interesting is that it corresponds to and interesting sense in which dope knowledge so deeply embedded in us smokers seek to bind to themselves that it becomes an instinct, almost the majority who do not share their a biological matter, the knowledge taste by insistently claiming that in question is of the rarity of the the majority do. It is that, for all occasions on which the smooth the bravado, for all the assertions running of the universe is disturbed. of the harmlessness of the habit, There are earthquakes, tidal waves for all the forcefulness with which and volcanic eruptions, and some it is defended, there is a suppressed of these take many lives; but it is unease among the users, which a curious fact, well supported by strongly suggests that many of them evidence, that even people who live are very far from sure that they in earthquake zones do not lie awake are not doing anything wrong, and at night in anticipatory terror of the no nearer certainty that they are

27. Bernard Levin Award 2011

not doing anything damaging to more that not one in ten who try the themselves. experiment will have ticked more than one in ten of the names. Not only do I not smoke dope; I have never done so, not even once. But Does this matter? Yes, it does. Not I have found myself, in gatherings many years ago, it was fashionable where the habit is customary, the among certain kinds of fool to talk subject of what can only be described about a ‘drug culture’, and to talk as intense proselytizing; more, I about it, moreover, admiringly. We have in such circumstances been do not hear such nonsense now, abused, and on one occasion offered largely, I imagine, because the physical violence, for saying, without horrors that have followed from heat, and without accusing anybody, the use by a few of the hard drugs that I do not and would not join in have been so well publicized. But it the habit, and not merely because it cannot be healthy for any society, is against the law. particularly one as uncertain of itself as ours is at present, to talk I do not know, or care, whether itself into a belief that the entire the accuser who said ‘Doesn’t population (‘everybody’) is constantly everybody?’ is himself included in breaking the law and is constantly the everybody. What interests me is fuddled with dope. It may be too late why the myth has been allowed to to get that notion entirely out of our take root. heads; but possibly we can persuade the sportsman’s friend to pause And it has. I have nowhere seen it in future before asking ‘Doesn’t challenged, and almost everywhere everybody?’ Failing that, we can at seen it accepted without argument. least start giving him the answer. Yet I will wager that tens of millions of people in Britain have never laid eyes on a joint, much less smoked one (it is, apart from anything else, a habit alien to British working-class culture), and if any of my readers would like to test my claim, let them go through their address book and make a tick against those of their acquaintance whom they know to be dope takers; I will wager even

28. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Noises off By Bernard Levin

The Times May 21st 1986

Last week, an actor – an actor – people, their political opinions should was invited, on a public occasion, be eagerly canvassed and readily to express an opinion on a matter disseminated, let alone heeded. Mind, which involved political controversy, I have no objection to their views on and refused to do so. Later, asked political matters being expressed; an to explain his refusal, he said these actor has as much right to sound off memorable words: ‘I have strong on site-value taxation, bond-washing, political views, but I like to keep them regional policy and South Atlantic to myself.’ fishing rights as anyone else. But no one is obliged to listen; how does it It can do no harm, and may do some come about that so many apparently good, to name this hero: he is Mr do? Paul Eddington, whose fame, as one of the two stars of ‘Yes, Minister’, Possibly it is an illusion, like the should not be allowed to obscure the players themselves, and for all the fact that he is a very good actor. It attention paid by the journalists is not, however, for his talent that I and broadcasters, nobody outside come to praise him today, but for his the ranks of Vanessa’s Loonies reticence. and similar groups of groupies (see Macbeth’s speech beginning I do not know when, or how, the ‘Camorra, and camorra, and custom of regarding actors and camorra’) takes the slightest actresses as political sages began; notice. I would like to think so, but I suspect that it coincided with the presumably the attention paid to the rise of television to its now dominant mummers’ opinions by the media place in entertainment. Before that, must to some extent least reflect the most stage actors were known interests of the readers and viewers to a minority only, and film ones and listeners. were remote beings from another planet; when actors began to be And it is worse that that; political found nightly in the homes of many parties, not all of them possessed millions, the line between illusion by the belief that the world is flat and reality began to blur, and for and the moon made of green cheese, many it has now entirely vanished. have taken to engaging performers for their party political broadcasts That does not in itself explain why, and election meetings, and these even if the public have come to believe are expected not to sing or dance that actors and actresses are real or juggle, or to speak the speech

29. Bernard Levin Award 2011

trippingly upon the tongue, but to For what is the hidden melody in a express their political opinions and performer’s political performance? urge their audiences to adopt the It is, surely, a massive non sequitur, same. Even the Tories, who would the players are saying ‘You like the normally be expected to avoid such way we act, or sing, or tell jokes, factitious shenanigans, once put so kindly vote the way we tell you.’ up Jimmy Edwards for Parliament, But their talent for acting, singing as though there weren’t enough and joking, which is the only clowns at already, and reason they have ever been heard the Labour Party has for years been of by the public, and this the only stuffing its electoral bandwagon reason they have been invited to full of Tuckets Without, Enter a play a political role, has nothing Messenger and Third Citizen. at all to do with an understanding of politics. Miss Carteret’s longing True, they came to grief recently, in for the Labour Party to govern the the most delightful way, when Miss country (provided, perhaps, that she Anna Carteret (who is by no means is excused actually having to suffer the silliest actress in England, and the effects of its rule) is obviously one of the better, to boot) waxed sincere; in that sense, she is not fervent in support of Labour in a playing a part. But how does her party political broadcast; the Labour acting talent qualify her to carry Party’s educational policy includes a political conviction? promise to abolish all private schools, and the very next day Miss Carteret It doesn’t. But it is not enough to say was found to be sending both her that although nobody is compelled children to the very institutions her to vote the way an actor tells them heroes would close down. to, the actor is no less qualified to address the nation on the subject But the case of Miss Carteret and of his political views more than a the other performers who extol the butcher, a baker or a candlestick- virtues of the Labour Party brings maker. If he were not a familiar me to the heart of my objection. figure on the screen he would never Forget about Vanessa; the Loonies have received the invitation, as is are not in the business of endorsing clearly demonstrated by the fact somebody else’s political product – that no such invitation goes to the they make their own. It is the actor butcher, the baker or the candlestick- or actress who is invited to speak on maker. a recognized political platform who is the object of my curiosity. 30. Bernard Levin Award 2011

But that brings me back to the first for them; for there be of them that and most interesting question; will themselves laugh. To set on how did we get to the point where some quantity of barren spectators the political opinions of actors and to laugh too, though in the mean actresses began to be thought of time some necessary question of the intrinsic interest? Practically all play be then to be considered; that’s their expressions of political opinion, villainous, and shows a most pitiful after all, whether on television talk- ambition in the fool that uses it. shows or in newspaper interviews, are of a stunning banality, couched So it does, too. But Mr Eddington in language so stale, weary and has this day lit a candle that shines unprofitable that I would almost like a good deed in a naughty world. rather sit through a new play by For note: he did not say, which would David Hare. Yet they are deferred have been admirable enough, that to, praised for the cogency and he had no political views to express; incisiveness of their views, and he insisted that he had such views, confidently – perhaps even rightly – and strong ones, too, but that he expected to have influence. (So, as likes to keep them to himself. Such a matter of fact, is David Hare, and an attitude, so boldly laid down, playwrights much worse than he, too. should be properly commended; a But that, though an even more grisly knighthood for Mr Eddington would subject, cannot be dealt with today.) not be too much, and for once the usual citation, ‘for political and public I do not wish, though temptation services’, which normally means ‘for is strong in me, to go back to the being a servile hack who supported days when actors who got above anything his part did, however themselves were liable to have disgraceful, for more than 40 years’, their ears cut off and to be whipped will be the literal truth. After all, through the streets at the cart’s tail. what more notable public service (Mind you, I could name a few whose could a man do than to refrain from acting would probably be improved by talking about politics? Arise, Sir such a treatment.) But I have begun Paul; and the rest of you, sit down. to despair of ever again finding an actor or actress who has even read, let alone understood and committed to memory, Hamlet’s advice: And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set down

31. Bernard Levin Award 2011 On quoting Shakespeare By Bernard Levin

If you cannot understand my then to give the devil his due if the argument and declare it’s Greek to truth were known for surely you me, you are quoting Shakespeare. If have a tongue in your head, you you claim to be more sinned against are quoting Shakespeare. Even if than sinning, you are quoting you bid me good riddance and send Shakespeare. If you act more in me packing, if you wish I was dead sorrow than in anger, if your wish as a doornail, if you think I am an is father to the thought, if your lost eyesore – a laughing stock – the property has vanished into thin devil incarnate – a stony-hearted air, you are quoting Shakespeare. villain – bloody-minded, or a If you have ever refused to budge blinking idiot, then by jove – o lord- an inch or suffered from green- tut, tut! – For goodness sake – what eyed jealousy, if you have played the dickens! – but me no buts – it is fast and loose, if you have been all one to me, for you are quoting tongue-tied – a tower of strength – Shakespeare. hoodwinked or been in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows – made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play – slept not one wink – stood on ceremony – danced attendance on your lord and master – laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift – cold comfort, or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days, or lived in a fool’s paradise, why, be that as it may, the more fool you, for it is a foregone conclusion that you are as good luck would have it, quoting Shakespeare. If you think it is high time, and that that is the long and the short of it, if you believe that the game is up, and that the truth will out, even if involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low – till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge at one fell swoop – without rhyme or reason,

32. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Media at LSE

Despite mounting Loose TV academic pressures LooSE TV is the official television on students studying network of the Students’ Union, at LSE, creative offering a wide variety of quality outlets -such as the student-made programming. Media Group - are LooSE TV represents a network of still as successful and filmmakers with vibrant ideas, and a active, if not more, network of friends working to realise than in the days of those ideas. Bernard Levin. Pulse Radio The Beaver Pulse are the sound of the LSE Students’ Union, broadcasting The Beaver, the Students’ Union 24-hours a day to bring you the Newspaper, is printed weekly and hottest music, student news and high is the result of a lot of blood, sweat powered debate (a.k.a. gossip). There and tears from all those who work is something for everyone at Pulse arduously on it. There are many Radio - even if it’s just a wild social different opportunities for students life! to get involved – whether that’s sending in the occasional comment LSE Alumni Media piece, well-researched analysis and Group debate or working on business and marketing aspects of this established Even after their time at LSE, the LSE Houghton Street paper. Alumni Media Group continue to be active – holding speaker events with a Clare Market Review wide range of media gurus including David Rowan, editor of Wired UK. The Clare Market Review was For more information on joining the established in 1905 and is the oldest Alumni Media Group be sure to sign student-run journal in the UK. Re- up on Houghton Street Online at launched in 2008 after a three-decade www.alumni.lse.ac.uk. vacation, Clare looks to provide more of the same, in a marketplace where more of the same is something appetisingly different.

33. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Funders and Donors

The Bernard Levin Award Fund was opened in April 2007 and over £14,000 has already been donated. Donors have included journalists, newspapers, LSE Alumni, friends and admirers of Bernard Levin. The award is able to run at such low costs due to the hard work of the Students’ Union. The smooth running of the award this year would not have been possible without the tireless efforts of Charlie Glyn, Students’ Union Activities and Development Officer.

The objective is to double the existing fund so that we can guarantee the Award to run for at least ten years. Sponsorships for internships for future years will be welcomed. Please contact the Students’ Union at [email protected] if you would like to support this. We gratefully thank donors to date who include:

Ms Elizabeth Anderson Mrs Dyer Mrs K. Lyall Lord and Lady Archer J.B. Evans Sir Gordon Manzie Clodagh Aubry Mr and Mrs Fay Ms Bel Mooney Dr Francis Beresford Mr Richard Goeltz Lord Claus Moser Mrs Jennifer Beresford Mr David Goldstone R.C. Parkin Mr Richard Bernays Ms Rosie Gosling Mr R. Pengelly Mrs Rosamund Bernays N.J. Graves Baroness Patricia Rawlings Mr David Bernstein B.H. Henson Lord and Lady Rees-Mogg Mr Richard Blackford Mr Ronal Higgins J.D. Roberts Mrs E.B. Blumenau Ms Alice Huang Mr Peter Simon J.P Bowden Ms Bella Isaacs Sir John Sparrow Ms Virginia Bredin Mr Clive Jones Dr. David Starkey A. Brennan Lord Frank Judd A. Broadbent Sir and Lady Sydney Mr R.R. Symonds Sir John Burgh Kentridge M.D. Thomas J.W. Carrier Mr Simon Kester L.J. Tivey Ms Christine Challis Mr David Kingsley OBE Miss C.M. Tye Mr Harry Darton Mr and Mrs Herbert Mr Alan Tyrrell Mr Ian Hay Davison Kretzmer Ms Katharine Whitehorn Ms Leslie Dighton Lady Lechmer C. Alan Wood Mr Nathan Divinsky P.M. Lloyd Sir Robert Worcester KBE DL

34. Bernard Levin Award 2011 Special Thanks

The Bernard Levin Award thanks the following for their help: Management and organisation: Charlie Glyn, Activities and Development Officer, LSE Students’ Union Booklet design: Emily Bailey, Danny Bartlett, Guy DeVilliers, LSE Students’ Union Cover image: Marc Boxer Photography: Alan Davidson, The Times Certificates: Chris Radley Printing: Nick Sharman & the team at LSE Reprographics

A warm thank you to the BBC for their support. In particular, Giles Wilson, Jon Frewin and Rob Liddle. London School of Economics and Political Science Students’ Union, East Building, Houghton Street, London WC2A 2AE

Original cover cartoon and background text taken from a profile of Bernard Levin entitled ‘Middle-aged Tiger’ from New Statesman, 27th December 1974