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2019-Spring.Pdf FINAL EXIT NETWORK VOL 18 • NO 2 SPRING, MAY/JUNE 2019 CONTENTS FEN PRESIDENT’S THE PARTING WORDS ..................3 MARY EWERT UNCHAINED ...4 GOOD ASSISTED SUICIDE OR DE ATH A EUPHEMISM? .....................5 ARE DOCTORS’ EGOS SO CIETY THE PROBLEM? ....................9 FEN LET’S MEET! ......................... 11 It’s All Divine By Jim Van Buskirk received a letter from a 93-year-old woman who had read my article in the IFinal Exit Network newsletter about my experience being with a friend as she ex- ited. Helga was inquiring about her own exit options. I called her to tell her how to get information about FEN and immediately fell in love with her lilting German accent, men- tal acuity, and charming wit. She followed my suggestion and contacted FEN’s Califor- nia Coordinator, and called to let me know she was moving forward with her plans. We quickly became phone pals, calling one an- other every so often for a lively chat about her situation, but we talked about lots of oth- er topics as well. DIVINE continued on page 2 Renew your membership online: www.finalexitnetwork.org in English, some German. I found the poem she’d re- DIVINE continued from page 1 cited and was filled anew with admiration: When I learned her case had been approved by At nights I pray FEN’s Medical Evaluation Committee, I was happy for Helga and saddened I would lose a friend. Sensing what I not say she needed support with some nagging details, I of- cannot be heard fered to help find a home for a few of her most beloved Oh Lord the sun is high German books. Although we had been phone friends for some time, I was even more impressed when I the sun that shines witnessed first-hand her fierce determination in the is this divine? face of severe physical challenges. We spoke more I dare you better stay frequently as she worked with the FEN Guides to prepare. Helga was not one to ask for anything, but a creature has no other way when I asked if she’d like me to attend her exit, she to round this earth accepted gratefully. The frequency of our phone in all its form calls accelerated over the next few weeks, until the day arrived. to kneel before the throne She embraced me at the door and promptly hand- you stumble thousand times ed me a small canvas bag she had prepared, filled it’s all divine with final offerings. As we waited for the guides, we chatted about her experiences at workshops at Esalen So let me pray oh Lord starting in the late 1960s, and various other subjects. to thy Glory I was surprised, given the circumstances, how natu- to thy will ral, and not awkward, was our final time together. When I asked how she was doing, she acknowl- when you are angry edged that there was only one thing troubling her. I am still The fact that carrying out her wishes had to be done Go kiss the earth so secretively made her sad, and she confessed, a lit- tle bit angry. She repeated her feelings to the guides, reach for the sun and we all nodded in agreement. reach for the moon The Guides arrived right on schedule. The time it’s over too soon had come. We guided this beautiful and wise old woman onto her bed. As I looked at her, very present, the play is fine limited only by her body, I saw her relief and happi- it’s all divine ness at finishing her life on her own terms. Spontane- ously she began reciting poetry, her own she revealed Coda: I intended to allow Helga to have the last shyly. As I held her hand, or more precisely, allowed word, and in her own way, she does. Two weeks after her to hold mine, I realized what an honor it was to be the exit, the Coordinator received an unanticipated in this position. Whatever gift I might have thought I package from Germany. She opened it to find three was giving, I was receiving multifold. A few minutes different kinds of German holiday cookies, and a note later she was gone, peacefully and painlessly. from a man who identified himself as Helga’s neph- When I got home I opened the canvas bag. In it ew. The Coordinator reports, “He very discreetly said were books we’d discussed (copies of The Peaceful that his aunt asked him to send a few typical German Pill Handbook and Derek Humphry’s Final Exit), as- holiday treats to me, which he was happy to do, and sorted articles, and a notebook of her poetry. As an that he hoped I would enjoy them with a good cup of example of her attention to detail and thoughtfulness, coffee or a cup of tea. Needless to say, I teared up.” there was even a small Tupperware container of some imported cheeses she thought I’d like. I cut myself a morsel of cheese (it was delicious) and read through her composition book of handwritten poetry, some FinalFinal ExitExit NetworkNetwork •• www.finalexitnetwork.orgwww.finalexitnetwork.org SpringSpring Newsletter,Newsletter, May/JuneMay/June 20192019 from the president Parting Words By Janis Landis am coming up on my last quarter as President of Final Exit Network. When I took office, four years ago, I was fortunate to be handed an organization in good I shape and with great people. As I leave office, I think my successor will say the same. But, it’s been a tumultuous four years maintaining that equilibrium. We had a totally unexpected legal challenge in the form of a prosecution in Minnesota. Thanks to the support of our dedicated members, guides, and legal counsel, we fought a tenacious battle and were successful in not having any Exit Guide found guilty. The orga- nization itself did have to pay a fine, but the District Attorney’s efforts to shut us down did not succeed and we continue our work, nationwide. At about the same time, we had a totally unexpected technical challenge: the dilution of helium tanks, which made them no longer usable for self-deliverance. Thanks again to our members and specialists we were able to find alternatives and our work has gone forward uninterrupted. We also had a number of our most stalwart and experienced volunteers pass away or retire due to ill health. I am deeply thankful to the long-time and new members who stepped forward to fill the void. As a result, we have trained new Guides and Coordinators and recruited new members for our Medical Evaluation Committee. We have reinvigorated our public education programs, revamped our training, established comprehensive policy guidelines, and supported efforts to find even better end-of-life options. When I took on this role, my main goal was to ensure the continued exis- tence of Final Exit Network so that we could fulfill our compassionate work. Vision & Mission As I enter into my last quarter as Presi- dent, I feel proud to have accomplished h Vision f that. But my overriding emotion is grat- That any competent person un- itude: to all of you who collectively and bearably suffering an intractable individually are the most compassionate medical condition has the option and selfless people I have ever worked to die legally and peacefully. with. I plan to continue my active in- volvement and help in any way I can. h Mission f And I know that our new leadership–to To educate qualified individuals be announced at our Annual Meeting in practical, peaceful ways to this summer–will count on that same end their lives, offer a compas- support and commitment that I have re- sionate bedside presence and de- ceived. fend their right to choose. Thank you all. SpringSpring Newsletter, Newsletter, May/June May/June 2019 2019 FinalFinal Exit Exit Network Network • • www.finalexitnetwork.org www.finalexitnetwork.org fen executive director Mary Ewert Unchained By Michael James [Note: Mary Ewert is our newly hired Executive sked what excites her about her new Director, the first person to hold that position in position as FEN’s Executive Direc- our organization, and she is also our only full Ator, Mary Ewert explains, “I feel un- time employee. The interview below will give you chained! Finally I can do work I am passionate some insights into Mary’s skills and interests. In about. Now my career path will be congruent with future articles, you’ll be seeing more about the my interests.” new outreach and member services programs Mary’s involvement in the Movement solidi- she will be working on.] fied when her beloved husband of 37 years, Craig, opted to use Dignitas to end his life be- fore rapidly-progressing ALS rendered him incapable of self-determination. Craig and Mary’s 2006 journey to Switzerland and Dignitas is chronicled in a moving documentary, “The Suicide Tourist,” available on-line or through IMDb. “Craig’s experience with Digni- tas and his commitment to do the film and share his experience, changed my life in so many ways. I agreed to travel with the film and share our story with as many people as possible.” Those film-related travels brought Mary into contact with Libby Wilson of Friends at the End and Dr. Michael Irwin, both in the United Kingdom and EWERT continued on page 10 A woman of boundless energy, contagious enthusiasm and gracious charm, Mary brings a valuable skill set well-suited to FEN. Final Exit Network • www.finalexitnetwork.org Spring Newsletter, May/June 2019 Connect with us and let us know what you think at www.finalexitnetwork.org Derek Humphry is the founder of the right to die movement, and remains an internationally renowned activist.
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