A Hard Day's Journey Into Night By STEPHEN BADRICH

"His records are too Christian for me. But he's a good lad and his mother should be proud of him." --John Lennon, reviewing Cliff Richard in "Melody Maker" 1964 "Ernest, don't you think Al Jolson is greater than Jesus?" "I don't want to know anybody's religion, but. . ." --Zelda Fitzgerald, quoted by Ernest Hemlng - --George Harrison, to the mother of the priest way in "A Movable Feast," p. 186 of the goddess Kalll who was going to disem­ Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum. bowel Ringo Starr, "Help" 1965 —Old. Saying

There were no stormy petrels seen The three crucial paragraphs were more logical "shrink and vanish.") were perhaps not very important, but Qn March 4 of this year when John, something of a cloud no bigger than "We're more popular than Jesus they had, I think, a certain interest. Lennon's now-famous remarks to a man's hand in the 1600-word ar­ now," Lennon was quoted as contin­ The attacks on Lennon were inter­ Maureen Cleave, girl reporter, first ticle, but to me, at least, they seemed uing. "I don't know which will go esting in the vulgar way that political appeared in the London Evening Stan­ to brook no equivocation. Miss Cleave first—rock *n* roll or Christianity. pathology is usually interesting. The dard. Perhaps the British reading wrote of Lennon: "Experience has Jesus was all right, but his disciples various and contradictory arguments public had been immunized by the sown few .seeds of doubt in him\ Not were thick and ordinary. It's them advanced by his defenders had a more guardedly agnostic remarks of gen­ that his mind is closed, but it's twisting it that ruins it for me." complex fascination. In the biblio­ erations of public figures. Perhaps closed round whatever he believes at Miss Cleave then added: "He is graphical overkill below, for instance, it was the national sang-froid, or the the time." She then quoted him as reading extensively about religion." at least two distinct kinds of defense Hyde Park tradition, or something to saying: "Christianity will go. It will And that was all, although of course of Lennon may be seen. do with the settling of the sun on the vanish and shrink. I needn't argue that was enough. The series of events The first, perhaps widely held, but British Empire. Or perhaps it was about that. I'm right and I will be and non-events that followed (and it stated publicly only by a few coura­ felt, as their author later theorized, proved right." seems to me rather surprising that geous disc jockeys and constitutional that the remarks were merely "a bit (In passing: I think there is in­ anyone could have doubted that events lawyers, held that religious scep­ of loudmouth thing." At any rate, the ternal evidence for Lennon's later WOULD follow, at the very least some ticism, whatever else it may be, is article lay (no doubt slowly ticking) claim that his remarks were not cal­ kind of earth-tremor in teenage mass too widespread and politically harm­ in the paper's back files until late culated. A man weighing his words, culture; three such paragraphs would less to justify any abridgment of free­ July, when it was reprinted in Date- it seems to me, would not have easily disqualify any American for dom of speech (John Stuart Mill, book magazine. picked "vanish and shrink" over the national, or even statewide, office) continued on page 6 The Water Closet Let's Hear It for Baseball By W. C. BLANTON It's over. Sunday the speedy, spirit­ Way back when — in mid-February leaguers flocked to training camp, Now that's all over. We now are ed Los Angeles - Brooklyn Dodgers it was — the heroes of bubble gum getting "in shape" and otherwise at WORLD SERIES time. It's also reached their magic number. The companies everywhere began their preparing for the arduous thirty- time to congratualte Flash Gallinagh,. pennant has been won. It has been annual pilgrimage to such Spartan hour weeks ahead. And the result the Fighting Irish of Michigan State, five and one half months since the quarters as Vera Beach, Florida, and of this vigorous activity is hard- on his unbelievable display of blind­ chase for that coveted flag began in Phoenix, Arizona, for the long-a­ muscled, finely-honed athletes suf­ ing speed and shifty running last Sa­ earnest, but it seems as if it has waited Spring Practice. From all over fering groin injuries the first time turday against Illinois. been an eternity. America, Major Leaguers and minor they round first base. Yes, sports fans (and anybody else In April, however, the National who's reading this) soon the World Pastime (413 paid attendance for a Championship will be decided. We'll recent Yankees - Athletics game) have .the answer to many burning opened its regular season. And the questions. Can Koufax go three more THE PAPER nation settled down for one thousand games with his tender arm? Is Frank six hundred twenty baseball games. Robinson really that good? Can pitch­ THE PAPER is published weekly during regular school terms by students Ah, the drama of a pitcher taking his ing overcome hitting? Can hitting of Michigan State University and a few of their off-campus friend.s. It is in­ cap off, wiping his brow, turning to overcome pitching? Who will win the tended as a channel for expression and communication of those ideas, events centerfield, scratching, looking for Corvette? Why didn't McCorrey'sline and creative impulses which makeof theuniversity community a fertile ground the Sign, looking for the catcher, play­ drive go two feet farther to the right? for the growth of human learning. THE PAPER hopes to help the university ing with the resin bag, spitting, step­ strive toward fulfillment of the highest ideals of learning and free inquiry, Will it go seven games? ping onto and off and back onto The But THE SERIES is not the end. by reporting and commenting on the university experience and encouraging Mound, and delivering The Pitch. If others to do so. There is still the off-season drama. The Batter is so inclined he may or Can the Yanks come back? Who will Correspondence should be addressed to: THE PAPER may not swing at The Pitch. Accord­ be the next Tiger "skipper"? Will Box 367 ing to a fantastic amount of printed Kalihe be traded? Will Sam McDowell East Lansing, Mich. 48823 matter that is the essence of the be recovered next year? Who is John game. I think it's basically designed Gait? What happened to Cincinnati? Offices are located at 217 Center St., East Lansing, Tel.: 517-351-7373. to sell beer for fifty cents and hot And then there is my question: dogs for forty-five. Who cares? THE PAPER is a member of the Underground Press Syndicate. Suffering Fools Gladly Award: "When­ let me help you carry that.' Because Editor and Resident Beatnik ,...•. Michael Kindman ever I see a protester carrying a President Johnson has carried that Assistant Editor and Culture Vulture . Laurence Tate sign that says, 'End the war in Viet­ sign into every capital in the world Bashful Secretary and Staff Writer Char Jolles nam,* I want to say to him, 'Here, . . . but the Communist aggressors Editorial Assistant and Sex Symbol Gregg Hill keep coming."--Dean Rusk, quoted on Graphics Engineer Carol Hurlbutt ABC News. Unbashful Staff Writer Stephen Badrich God and Man at Yale Douglas Lackey Squeamishness Award: Sentence from Staff Pornographer in Absentia Richard A. Ogar a news story headlined "GI Training Oft-Neglected Albany Correspondent Carol Schneider Film Tells Why We Fight in Viet­ Photographic Mastermind Dennis Trover nam" and sub-headed "LBJ's Mes­ Circulation Manager (funny, hey?) Jack Laks sage Loud and Clear": "Defense Office Manager and Free Spirit Judie Goldbaum sources wince at any suggestion that Frustrated Ad Salesmen Ann Barton , John Wooley the films could be tagged as propa­ And The Lounge as Himself ganda." Afternoon Verse In The By S.P..B.

Pictures of the Gone World. Cum- read and which has apparently not mings inside the barbed wire. Dylan yet been published (although Ferling­ Thomas by his father's deathbed. hetti mentioned that-he may make it Ginsberg bathing in the Ganges. Law­ the title poem of a new collection). rence watching the snake slither away. It is set in San Francisco and uses And Monday, Lawrence Ferlinghetti Bay Area local color ("The Jef­ reading "After the Cries of the Birds ferson Airplane rock group takes off Have Stopped" before a capacity audi­ and circles heaven"), but it is less ence in the State Theater on Abbott concerned with the real, present San Road. Francisco than with some hypothe­ Gary Groat, Zeitgeist's editorial tical San Francisco of the future, a adviser, introduced the program with city caught in a kind of lyrical apoca­ a murmured, "I don't believe this" lypse where Chinese junks are land­ to the audience. (Zeitgeist, he later ing at Santa Monica and flame-throw­ explained, is a profit-making organ­ ing tanks roar out of Fort Ord to ization; "as of today.") In a gentle, meet them, where napalm sears the throw-away style, Groat briefly ex­ hillside and trees flower red. plained how the University had again In a single hearing, many of the covered itself with glory in with­ things in the poem seemed to go by drawing permission for Ferlinghetti like cars on a fast-mvoing train (the to read at the Arena Theater. "So, poet attends "a reception for Ana is once again, we're on this side of Nin with a paper bag full of rose Grand River," he said philosophical­ leaves"; he meets Virginia Woolf ly, and the audience laughed. They underwater), but it seemed likely also laughed when Groat made a that it would stand up to careful glancing reference to East Lansing's rereadings. Not that this mattered Mothers Against Degeneracy (M. A.D.) to the audience, streaming out onto the and they applauded enthusiastically when he wondered aloud if it might street; it had been an interesting, not be possible to hold Allen Gins- even exciting, afternoon, and the Uni­ burg's reading in Lansing's Civic versity, whether it knew it or not, Center. (Packed as the theater was, was in Zeitgeist's debt. at least two hundred of those in line den is trover never made it inside.) He then read poem Number 5 from was a crowd-pleaser, as was "Where Groat introduced Ferlinghetti with­ "A Coney Island of the Mind": ". . . is Vietnam?" a poem about a certain out a wind-up, apparently feeling that a kind of carpenter/ from some Colonel Cornpone who tries to stop it would be hard to do justice to the square-type place/ like Galilee/ and the spinning globe. (This was done doctorate from the Sorbonne, to the he starts wailing/ and claiming he is almost entirely in a Texas dialect; paintings, the plays, the novel, the hep/ to who made heaven/ and earth/ Ferlinghetti is an excellent mimic, recordings, to the City Lights Book­ and that the cat/ who really laid it on slipping easily in and out of char­ shop — or perhaps even to the poems us/ is his Dad/' acterization, as well as an excellent alone. Ferlinghetti had the audience Next came Number 6, a poem about reader in the usual sense.) on his side from the moment he step- the erecting, in San Francisco, of an But the most impressive single ued into the hot pink light at the front avant-garde statue of Saint Francis. poem of the afternoon was probably ^wNifeeHiaif* darkened-'room. He was Fox this reading, however, all the the final one,; "After-., -the Cries, of. casually-dressed, well-built, beard­ hoisting imagery was inverted ("They the Birds Have Stopped," a poem ed, and bald—his cranium shone like were putting DOWN the statue/ of which took eight or nine minutes to a star. Once or twice during the Saint Francis") in honor of a bishop reading he looked off to his right, who had eventually had the statue revealing a striking aquiline nose. removed. "I hope you noticed the title of the After that he skipped through the' Special Offer!! poetry reading on the marquee of book, reading half a dozen more, this theater: 'Seduced and Aban­ poems. "This one's good for English, doned' and 'To Bed or Not to Bed.' majors, I guess. They can get all the To all Freshmen and New Students paper bag full of dead Gallo wine With Lawrence Ferlinghetti." allusions." (". . .like in the Bible/ only: Kids, if you liked the Campus bottles; a $5 gift certificate from or the Sun Also Rises which begins Book Store's Campus Pac, you'll The Questing Beast; a "make love, Laughter. The audience was with love THE PAPER'S brand newScuzzy not war" button; a "Hands off Tim him and stayed with him, and also Robert Conn/ was middleweight champion of his class/ but later we Pac! With twelve one-year mail sub­ Leary" button; paperback copies of seemed to stay up with him, although scriptions to THE PAPER, you get "Drugs and the Mind, "The Way of there may have been some slight lost our balls and there we go again.") He explained that he was leaving a absolutely free everything you need Zen," and "Berkeley: The New Stu­ tendency on their part to go for the to be a real left-wing, scuzzy, beat- dent Revolt"; a pair of steelrimmed obvious things. few lines out of his 1957 poem, "I Am Waiting"; "I am no longer wait­ type person. Scuzzy Pac includes: A sunglasses; Lawrence Ferlinghetti's His first reading was from his ing for Ike to act." year's subscription to Ramparts mag­ autograph; a set of worn Black Dia­ book "Routines" and concerned an azine; three bottles of Romilar CF mond steel guitar strings; and a lock imaginary organization called the After a five-minute intermission, cough syrup; a pair of suede boots; of Dean Moriarty's hair. A limited Brotherhood of Radical Enlighten­ he read some less familiar pieces.' two used, ink-stained work shirts; number available. Get yours while ment (B.O.R.E.), whose purpose it is An elaborate poem about underwear' a box of assorted incense cubes; a the supply lasts. to bore from within and non-violent­ (from "Startingfrom San Francisco") ly undermine all the fatuous art, politics, and religion in the world. boaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo* B.O.R.E.'s job, said Ferlinghetti, is non-violently to break the peace, Makes its own gravy THE PAPER "the peace of the Partisan^Review, the peace of the Kenyon Review"; the loudest applause followed his call This year, subscribers will have a to break "the peace of the $16,000- choice of using a personal subscrip­ Join the Gravy Train... a-year professors who make their tion card to pick up THE PAPER at livings off $1000-a-year poets." The any of our sales locations (thus sav­ final passage, an account of a B .O.R. E. ing themselves the delay of the mails Subscribe Now guerilla raid, also drew sustained ap­ and us the cost of postage) or having plause; if B.O.R.E. existed, the audi­ THE PAPER mailed to them first ence would have been a good enough class. place to look for recruits. three terms one term Circle the amount you wish to payfor Before continuing, Ferlinghetti with subscription cord paused to explain that his religious the services you wish us to render, $2.50 $1 position had been somewhat misrep­ and return this form to us. Include (eo*t lonsing area only) resented by a columnist in that morn­ payment if you wish to receive your ing's State News. "You'll be very glad subscription. with first-class moiling $3.50 $1.25 to know that God is not dead. That was a bad misquote." He stopped for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Name "The way the world acts today, you'd THINK God was dead." Pause. "In Street Address fact, God is probably your own con­ sciousness." Longer pause. "And if God is your own consciousness, and City, state, zip if you can expand your conscious­ ness. . ." Happy sigh in the audi­ ence. "But you hear a lot about that these days." Up From 'Slaver/ strangely inconsistent that during this time they have turned 21 that many period the electorate has consistently young people are so far removed from The 18-Year-Old Vote favored the 18-year-old vote while no stimulation of the educational process By GREGG HILL action has been taken in the Congress that their major interest in public af­ In the Dark Ages the minimum old can exert political influence main­ or state legislature. In a recent Gal­ fairs has waned." Ironically, then,the age for knighthood was 21. Today ly through interest or pressure groups lup Poll 57 per cent of the popula­ under-aged half-citizen is best of all the minimum age for voting in the which must in the end appeal to the tion answered 'yes' to the question, qualified to cast an intelligent vote. United States is 21 (except for the voting electorate for support of their "Do you think that persons 18, 19 If the voting age were lowered, the politically advanced states Georgia, programs. "Power at the Polls" is and 20 years old should be permitted beneficial political effects would be: Kentucky, Alaska and Hawaii). Ves­ an apt slogan for the Michigan cam­ to vote, or not?" A fair majority. an increase in political participation, tiges of the feudal culture are im­ paign. Aside from legal reasons for the a broadening of the political spectrum, bedded in our legal structure. The The injustice pinches hardest on vote, a social justification exists more enthusiastic party support, and, founding fathers borrowed the anci­ the question of the draft. "Old enough now which may not have been pres­ with luck, deeper American political ent tradition along with other voting to fight, old enough to vote" is super­ ent 30 years ago: the literacy rate criticism. restrictions from the English Com­ seded: "Old enough to drop napalm, of the 18-to-20- year-old population The Michigan referendum on the 18- mon Law. Although these others (pro­ old enough to drop ballots." exceeds that of any older age group. year-old vote, proposal #1, will be perty ownership, the 3/5 slave, etc.) As the draft machine chews up This answer to the question of "in­ held November 8. A victory in Mich­ have been borne away by the risinr more victims every month the de­ tellectual responsibility in voting" is igan could mean successful voting- tide of Liberalism, the 21-year-old mand for a voice in political de­ also bolstered by the student's ex­ rights drives throughout the country. voting minimum has remained im­ cision for this group of half-citi­ posure to mass media coverage of A defeat could kill the issue for years. mune to change. zens becomes more urgent. Of the national and international events. Vo­ Hopefully ASMSU and other organiza­ ter participation in the age group from tions throughout the state will appro­ That such a limiting of the politic­ 13 million Americans between the 21 to 30 is surprisingly low. al franchise is unfair and obsolete is ages of 17 and 20 (approximately priate enough money and energy for apparent. A person between ages 18 6.5 per cent of the total popula­ On this the President's Commis­ the very brief but vital campaign and 21 must pay income and property tion), over 601,000 are currently in sion on Registration and Voting Par­ it has voted to support. More hope­ tax; he can be tried in adult courts active service in the armed forces ticipation reports, "a major reason fully the voters will approve the pro- and committed to Federal prisons; he (5 per cent of the 17-20 age group). for this lowturn-put_is_that. by the osal is excluded from all forms of com­ This group is required to serve pol­ "TOOOO pulsory education and is ineligible icies established by political lead­ for any form of aid to illegitimate ers they had no part in choosing. In children; he may be dependent upon fact, assuming a person does riot the State for university education, dissent from the policy to the point yet have no voice in legislation re­ of refusing to serve, he may be ex­ lating to unversity construction and pected to die for the policy. Being financing or scholarship assistance. categorically alienated from the pol­ He may be dependent upon automo­ icy- and decision- making process bile transportation, but he has no he is not merely manipulated; he may power to affect auto safety legislation be destroyed. or highway construction. A student The extension of the political fran­ may be excluded from exercising chise to citizens between 18 and 21 power in important areas: election has been supported by every presi­ of university Regents, off-campus dent and presidential-candidate since housing, parking and zoning regula­ Franklin D. Roosevelt, yet Congress tions, and speaker and meeting con­ has never responded with action. Over trols. sixty joint resolutions have been in­ How did MSU greet Zeitgeist's troduced in the United States Con­ presentation of Ferlirighetti on cam­ gress. As Civil Rights legislation was pus? How did the State Legislature buried in committee this year, so the react to Herb Aptheker's speech last variations .on bijls.extending tbe .vote year on campus? The 18-to-20-year- have been cribbed since 1942. It is

Cri de Coeur Department (over­ heard at registration): "How do they expect us to write in the box if they punch it full of little holes?"

Gratuitous Complexities of Modern Life (I.): Overheard at the PAPER booth in the Union: "The trouble with these new Mod styles is you can't tell a straight guy from a hip­ pie."

Signs of the Times Department: The Student Book Store is now sell­ ing an octavo notebook whose green cover is lettered in italic gold script: "Trip Diary." ASMSU's New Philosophy

ByCHARJOLLES In Pursuit Of Popular Opinion Predictably, student government is ham envisions a meeting in February several important organizations: the with the members of our Student once again trying to scare up a rai- with the governor, the lieutenant gov­ American Council on Education, the Board, who 6eem to resent the fact son d'etre. The only difference this ernor, and leaders in the State Leg­ US Commission for UNESCO, United that MSU might be in the conservative time is that its "new philosophy" islature. Nations Association, Leadership Con­ minority. This defensiveness on the is commendably relevant—and, un­ It is Graham's hope that Student ference on Civil Rights, US Youth part of Board members seems to be beknown to Jim Graham, chief phil­ Board will eventually assume an im­ Council, and so on. the only tenable explanation for the osopher and chairman- of Student portant role in state and local poli­ NSA has been represented at meet­ death of the NSA issue; the other Board, commendably revolutionary. tics, "representing" student opinion ings of the American Association of major argument—that MSU students For a governing body that claims at MSU. To be taken seriously by the University Professors, the Associ­ aren't interested in NSA involve­ to "represent" student opinion, Stu­ Powers That Be would indeed be a ation for Higher Education of the Na­ ment—is undermined by the new dent Board has been highly insigni­ laudable victory for American stu­ tional Education Association, and the philosophy, which would have the ficant. Student opinion about any­ dents; however, both the philosophy White House Conference on Higher Board support NSA despite an apath­ thing important has simply been non­ of leadership and the personalities of Education. etic student body. existent. Under its new philosophy, individual Student Board members Is our student government, which Overlooking for a moment the au­ the Board will actively attempt to could easily cripple, instead of nour­ aspires to be politically involved and tocratic possibilities of the' leader­ whip up some student opinions to ish, such a possibility. committed, a member of NSA? No. ship philosophy and the political im­ represent. Focusing on the philosophy of lead­ Is affiliation with NSA going to con­ maturity of some individuals, the The new philosophy is, fundament­ ership for a moment, we can detect cern the Student Board this year? Board's new approach is indeed en­ ally, that student government will dictatorial (albeit latent) tendencies. "Not a chance. It's a dead issue," lightened. It has already created some "lead" instead of merely "repre­ Even though Graham maintains that says Graham. excitement by declaring support for sent" student opinion. When issues the Board is the "most likely" or­ NSA happens to be liberal-domin­ the 18-year-old vote referendum, of direct student concern arise, Stu­ ganization' to represent student opin­ ated, and has often passed resolu­ which is scheduled to come before dent Board will, with unprecedented ion, its 13 members cannot possibly tions that seem "radical" to the the State Legislature in a month. initiative, take stands on these is­ speak for 35,000—and some day 30,- members of our Student Board. NSA Guided by the new philosophy, per­ sues and defend itself through di­ 000—students. There is rarely any supports sit-ins and other civil rights haps Student Board will learn to stop rect contact with individuals in dorm consensus on the part of the student demonstrations. NSA has censured following the mob, as Ramparts mag­ government, hoping, thereby, says body on any issue; even more rarely US involvement in Vietnam. NSA has azine put it, and begin to lead the Graham, to "mold and formulate is there any student opinion at all. taken various other stands unpopular people. student opinion." Because of this, Student Board's auth­ A short leap of faith is required oritarian tendencies (however unin­ here. Graham certainly must mean tentional) have been very conspicuous "to stimulate" student opinion. in the past. Representatives on the Board tend to pass their opinions Most of the Board members, in­ down to the constituents, chiefly out cluding Graham, insist this is an old of necessity; if they waited for con­ LETTER philosophy "just beginning to be im­ stituent opinions to emanate from plemented." However, we who have below, they'd be waiting forever. It witnessed the bread and circuses of is all too conceivable that Student Education For Everybody? government in the past know that the Board would wind up autocratically new philosophy is revolutionary. representing the student body in state It means, first of all, that stu­ politics, and justifying itself under the To the Editor: college or department should try to dent government won't wait for stu­ philosophy of leadership. dents to come to it; last year the Imagine this happening to you: You give more warning when it plans to Board sponsored many, many open are a married graduate student (not not allow a student to continue to Its authoritarian implications prob­ study? Next term this could happen forums, which were attended only by ably make the leadership philosophy on any degree program) studying part the, broadly speaking, New Left, who to you, for this term it happened to attractive to administrators. Graham time and'working part time while your me. certainly don't represent popular o- remarked" that "the administration wife finishes her degree. You have pinion. This year, the Board mem­ would welcome ity They'd like to see been studying but not working for any Huron Smith Jr. bers will initiate discussion, among more leadership and less bulletin degree for three terms now, satisfy­ Ex-graduate Student themselves first of all, then among board making. They are educators in ing your personal desire for further College of Business smaller governing bodies in the resi­ the first place, and they like it when formal eduation. You turned down two dence halls, and finally, hopefully, the students learn something." full-time job offers just last month, ccl: President John Hannah among individuals in direct,provoca­ Bypassing the obviously absurd because you were content with your cc2: Associate Dean Dalton McFarland tive dialogue. statement that administrators are ed­ present intellectual and material pro­ The second revolutionary implica­ ucators at heart, one can understand gress. tion of the new philosophy is that stu­ why administrators would not object You go to your college to pick up dent government will become poli­ to the new philosophy. Its indoctrin­ your permit to register and enroll­ tically involved, and—here comes the ating possibilities have already been ment card. The secretary tells you truly radical part — maybe even pointed out. Indeed, the philosophy that the assistant dean wants to talk politically committed. Student gov­ could become even more appealing to to you first. The assistant dean tells ernment in the past has been un­ the Powers That Be if Graham—er­ you that the college is trying to elim­ abashedly service-oriented. The new roneously, one would hope—continues inate the category of non-degree grad­ philosophy, however, strongly im­ to say "molding" student opinion. uate student, and that you cannot en­ plies concern with political issues— Grahaminsists, however, that the Stu­ roll in this status. as exemplified by the ASMSU cam­ dent Board intends to think and speak This is how you stand: (1) You can't paign supportingthe 18-year-old vote. out independently of the administra­ accept a career-type job because you Graham anticipates issues such as the tion. are only temporarily in East Lansing draft and course/faculty evaluation frequenting the ASMSU agenda for In addition to the shortcomings of while your wife finishes school. (2) 1966-67. the leadership philosophy, the per­ You have a part time job which is sonalities of individual Board mem­ conducive to continuing your formal The new philosophy takes on broad­ bers could hinder—and indeed are education. (3) You are psychologically er, hence even more radical, impli­ now hindering—student representa­ prepared to attend the classes which cations when Graham talks about tion on the state, perhaps national, you^ have been planning to attend. friendly but serious liaisons with the level. The ideal step in implement­ (4) Classes start tomorrow. East Lansing City Council, the MSU ing the new philosophy would seem Does this seem to you like an un­ Board of Trustees, and the State to be membership in the National just exclusion from continued formal Legislature. The Student Board has Student Association (NSA)—an as­ study? Does it seem to you that the already scheduled an unprecedented sociation of student governments from encounter with the Board of Trustees about 63 universities. on October 20, and a meeting with NSA, whose national office is in the City Council in November. Gra- Washington, D.C., is a member of MANUSCRIPTS PLAYBOY * Red Cedar Review SPECIAL 8 mo. $5.00 Now Accepting — January Publication 1 yr $6 50 COLLEGE RATES ' Poetry Fiction 2yrs. $12.00 Critical Analysis 3 yrs. $16.50 Essays Drama Submit with name and address: 325 Morrill Hall Information Phone 353 7184 THE BE ATI IS continued from page 1

"On Liberty," Classics of Western then every retraction he made simply Thought, Vol. HI, pp. 307-324.) skated around the truth. If such a The second school of thought, the shift existed without Lennon's being "deplorable-but-true" school, seized aware of it, then every press con­ on Lennon's use of "more popular," ference was practically a study in with its connotations of the world, existential bad faith. the flesh, and the Devil, of shallow­ Still (to state my personal bias as ness and Miss Rheingold contests, clearly as possible), I could never rather than "better" or something bring myself to condemn Lennon very equally unambiguous. After all, strongly, either for making the re­ argued Nancy Mahan, of Shreveport, marks or retracting them. Making La., in a letter to the Shreveport them was certainly doubtful press, Times, we teenagers may deplore but I agreed with the first school the fact, but John is right. And we're that simply holding such opinions all going to have to face up to it. because you and your messed-up fri­ ASKED IF HE DENIED THAT LEN­ was his own business. As for re­ ends feel that way does not give you This schools' adherents included all tracting them — looking into my NON HAD MADE THE REMARKS the members of the clergy, from the right to make that statement. We ATTRIBUTED TO HIM: "We've no heart, I found that for Lennon's share are Catholics and proud of it." the right-thinking (i.e. left-thinking) of the gate at the concert in D.C. complaint about that." young seminarians of New York's Stadium, or perhaps even less, I General Theological Seminary, to the MESSAGE ON A SIGN VISIBLE IN would be willing to express my own AN AP WIREPHOTO OF A TENNES­ FURTHER, ANGRY COMMENT BY Archbishop of Canterbury and religious opinions, such as they are, EPSTEIN, ON BEING ASKED IF HE L'Osservatore Romano, who spoke SEE "BEATLES BONFIRE": "The in the most generally acceptable Beatles are dull and ordinary." THOUGHT THE BEATLES WERE AC­ up (to their credit, I thought) on terms possible. But I discovered (not TUALLY MORE POPULAR THAN Lennon's behalf. for the first time), that this kind of COMMENT OVERHEARD IN THE JESUS: "Of course not." It even became something of an laissez faire attitude was not uni­ CAFETERIA OF AN INDUSTRIAL LIST OF COUNTRIES MENTIONED official school with its endorsement versally held. PLANT IN HAGERSTOWN. MARY­ IN NEWS DISPATCHES AS HAVING SOME VARIANT OF THE BEATLES' by Maureen Cleave and later Lennon For the shot had rung out at Sara­ LAND: "I just don't know about this himself. I appreciated the force of Jack Lemmon." BAN: Costa Rica, Indonesia and the jevo, and there was no silencing the Phillipines, (non-religious reasons), its arguments (Christianity's "los­ guns of August: ing contact," etc.), but to the end, Spain, South Africa, and the United EXCERPT FROM A LETTER-TO- States. rightly or wrongly, I also felt that RATIONALE ADVANCED BY Mr. THE-EDITOR BY MRS. H. T. HAN­ there was something slightly spuri­ TOMMY CHARLES, STATION MAN­ SON, 842 N. DORA AVE., UKIAH, ous about the Lennon-Epstein-Cleave AGER OF BIRMINGHAM, ALA­ CALIFORNIA: "Twentieth Century EXCERPTS FROM A WASHING­ Axis that supported it. There were BAMA'S WAOY, WHO BEGIN THE Reformation Hour's fine baritone, TON POST ADVERTISEMENT FOR too many Machiavellian reasons for "BAN THE BEATLES" MOVEMENT Mr. Fugue Springmann, has chal­ THE CONCERT 1 WAS TO ATTEND: John to modify his views (which BUT INSISTED IT WAS "NOT FOR lenged the Beatles to a song debate... "Good seats available till showtime." were clear-cut enough in the ori­ THE SAKE OF PUBLICITY": "We he would like to sing a religious or ginal interview) and following press sacred song, using a guitar as they just felt it was so absurd and sac- FURTHER PROOF OF THE CON­ reports of the Beatles'progress from riligious (sic) that something ought do, and the Beatles could then sing city to city, it seemed to me that I their best number before an impartial TINUING DEPRAVITY OF SCANDIN­ to be done to show them they cannot AVIA, FIRST NOTED SOME YEARS caught them more than once with get away with this sort of thing." audience. Let*s see those Beatles get their backfield in motion. out of this one." AGO BY PRESIDENT EISENHOWER IN A SPEECH ON THE CORRUPT­ When in his repeated retractions, DAVID HANSON PURPLE TYPE­ ING EFFECTS OF SOCIALlSMrAnew • Lennon publicly deplored Christian­ WRITER^AWARDt •'• ARGHTYP^L 3 EXCERPT--FROM A PATflPrTtET consignment of Beatles albums ar­ ity's shrinkage, I wondered if he PARAGRAPH FROM AN EDITORIAL SCORING "THE VULGAR AND PRO­ riving in Stockholm at the height of might not have switched definitions SNYDICATED FROM LOUISVILLE, FANE BEATLES, ADMITTEDATHE- the controversey was sold out within on us, and now be holding in mind KENTUCKY: "Ever since the British ISTS," AVAILABLE BY WRITING TO thirty minutes. some private, eclectic version of invasion of America's shores, few "COMMUNIST MUSIC," BOX 1775, Christianity, the way suspects hold persons with ears attuned to good SARASOTA, FLORIDA, AND EN­ the sum 2 plus 2 equals 5 in their music could tolerate the long-haired, CLOSING 750 IN COIN: "Communist heads while answering "no" during non-melodious practitioners whose scientists have discovered that music a lie-detector test. If such a shift voices and souped-up guitars made with a broken meter in the treble, existed, and if Lennon knew about it, nothing but minus signs in this na­ played over an Insistently regular tion's musical progress." beat which increases to the point of frenzy, can produce hysterical ef­ COMPLETE TEXT OF AN OPEN fects in young people, as if they were PUBLISHED AT LAST LETTER TO THE BEATLES FROM trying to rush madly in two directions KATHY LOONEY AND CYNTHIA LIN- at once. . ." After the countless obstructions and DERMAYER OF SHREVEPORT, LA.: attempts to silence us even before "Beatles: We really feel sorry for SENTENCE FROM PLATO QUOT­ publication, CAUSEWAY1/4 found a you. Sorry is the word; for anyone press and a kind printer to operate ED WITH APPARENT APPROVAL IN Mu it. We wouldn't have bothered to who thinks that Jesus is going out of THE ABOVE PAMPHLET. WHICH overcome all the opposition but what style must be sick. We respect your DOES NOT COMMENT, UNFORTUN­ STIFF UPPER LIP OF THE PUK­ CAUSEWAY 1/4 says needs eayingas opinion that there is no God but just ATELY, ON THE PHILOSOPHER'S loudly and to as many people as KA SAHIB SOMEWHERE EAST OF possible. OPINION THAT WIVES AND PROP­ SUEZ AWARD. MAUREEN CLEAVE, ERTY SHOULD BE HELD IN COM­ DONDON EVENING STANDARD: CAUSEWAY 1/4 is an "almost book" MON: "The introduction of a new "Sections of the American public (not quite magainze of near 100 large heads —— style of music should be shunned, seem to have been given an impres­ pages with no advertising and fea­ Acid, Pot, Mescaline, Sacred as imperiling the whole state, since sion of his views that is totally ab­ tures an Environment section on Cen­ styles of music are never disturbed sorship of Sex; an Arts section (in­ Mushroom, Radiant Hallucin­ surd." ating Initiates, etc. without affecting the most import­ cluding Visual arts; Garterbeltmanla, ant political institutions." and Theatre arts; a new one act play); alien ginsberg DIFFICULT-TO-REFUTE DE­ an Eros section (nuescapesphoto - FENSE OF LENNON BY THE CO­ portfolio) and a Causeway Digest of leading controversial publications. In action and turned on in an EXCERPT FROM A 12-LINE, $33.- PENHAGEN, DENMARK. LUTHER­ Absolutely top drawer talent through­ artful montage of two photo­ 60 AD PLACED IN THE PERSONAL AN CHURCH PAPER KRISTELIGHT out. graphs — Caption from the COLUMN OF THE LONDON DAILY DAGBLAD: "Jesus was crucified, Ayahuasca Amazon Spiritual TELEGRAPH BY SUSAN DOBBS AND while the Beatles win popularity." CAUSEWAY 1/4 will be sold through- vision potion. out the English-speaking world by THERESA EARLES OF HOPEWELL, mail at $3.00 each until September dr. timothy leary VA: "Dozens of radio stations across 30 and then by mall and through a the states are banning (sic) their few bookstores at $3.50 each. Ad­ Photographed at the Castalia records and having bonfires, because A Note From The i vance orders already indicate a sell­ Foundation — Captioned "To out so please order now while press- of a statement by John Lennon. We runs are being scheduled. learn how to use your head, have a petition to get them backon the Bashful Secretary you have to go out of your air. Please, England, help us, we CAUSEWAY 1/4 mind" with a partial quote love them, too." Subscribers who didn't re­ c/o INFORM from Turn On/ Tune In/ Drop ceive their first issue and or 41 Walmsley Boulevard Out COMMENT BY MISS DOBBS ON subscription card, should call Toronto 7, Canada posters THE DECLINE OF THE WEST: "If or write the PAPER office you'd ask most kids whether they'd and leave name and address Photomurals (22" x 28") — and a description of the sub­ Please send rather go to church or to a Beatles' Groovey wall decorations for concert, the majority would say the scription (duration, mail or Copy (ies) of CAUSEWAY 1/4 pads, cribs, clubs, cells or Beatles' concert. It might sound bad, card, color, scars, etc.). Many whatever. but it's the truth." envelopes we sent out were Name returned marked Address Un- Mailed postpaid in protective known. Others, which we Address. COMMENT BY BRIAN EPSTEIN, container for $2.00 each to: AUTOBIOGRAPHER. ERSTWHILE swear we sent out promptly Joe Brown, (D»pt. P.) P. 0. Box 394, DRESS DESIGNER. AND BEATLES last week, have not been seen Payment with order, please Cooper Station, N.Y. 10003 MANAGER, IN NEW YORK TO "AS­ or heard of since. We regret. SESS THE SITUATION," ON BEING on Ringo's fave actress and fave food for the peanut butter. It was fab. for Rave magazine. I tried to call Paul McCartney. Ringo Starr. John Edwards for a statement, but he Lennon. George Harrison. The could not be reached for comment, Beatles." which is to say I couldn't find his HIS LORDSHIP, THE ARCHBISHOP Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, appeared number in the book. REMARK OVERHEARD ON A OF CANTERBURY: "To be more on a WRC-TV news broadcast to an­ I called another, similar, fixture GREYHOUND BUS IN EVANSTON, popular than Jesus proves nothing. nounce that his organization would of the Washington scene, Nazi leader ILLINOIS: "One of these days John Jesus wasn't interested in popular­ picket D.C. Stadium during the con­ George Lincoln Rockwell, and asked Lennon is going to turn thirty and ity.0 cert. The KKK would also have people him what he thought of Lennon's the whole world will come to an end." inside the stadium, Mr. Edwards said remarks. "Well," said Rockwell, "I CHAPTER 6, VERSE 14, OF THE darkly. He promised "a few sur­ think it's typical of the arrogance SPEECH DELIVERED BY RINGO SECOND EPISTLE OF PAUL THE prises." The newsman interviewing of the modern beatniks, who have no STARR IN A SCENE FROM "MID­ APOSTLE TO THE CORINTHIANS: Edwards seemed incredulous; how ideology, no principles, and no re­ SUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM" INCOR­ "Re ye not equally yoked together could a few Klansmen foil a secur­ spect for anything." Just like that, PORATED INTO THE 1964 TELEVIS­ with unbelievers: for what fellow­ ity operation involving hundreds of parallel construction and all. This ION SPECIAL, "AROUND THE BEA­ ship hath righteousness with un­ tough D.C. cops? Edwards smiled voice was even more sweetly rea­ TLES"; "I am the lion, who doth righteousness? and what communion shyly. What could be seen of his sonably than Edwards'. make gentle hearts to fear. Of course, hath light with darkness?" face (he was wearing a Klan hood I'm not really a lion, I'm a drummer. and wraparound sunglasses) looked MUSICAL INTERLUDE: Ra-a-a-a- If I was a lion, I wouldn't be mak- sensitive and intelligent. His voice in' the money I am today." PROOF THAT THE SPIRIT OF was pleasant and musical, although a-in, I don't mind/ Shi-i-i-i-ne, the VOLTAIRE STILL LIVES; FRANK his grammar had a tendency to de­ weather's fine/ Can you hear me CODY, DISC JOCKEY, ALBUQUER­ sert him the pressure of the mom­ that when it rains and shines/ It's JOHN LENNON, TO THE AUDI­ QUE, NEW MEXICO: "If John Len- ent. "We're known as a terror or­ just a state of mind/ Can you hear ENCE AT A ROYAL COMMAND non wants to stand on top of Mt. ganization," said Mr. Edwards, in me, can you hear me./ sdaeh rieht VARIETY SHOW: "The people in the Everest and yell he's King King, the tone of voice that someone else edih dna nur yeht semoc niar eht cheap seats can clap. The rest of that's his privilege. The Beatles might have said, "We're known as an fl (sic) (Copyright Northern Songs, you, rattle your jewelry." should be judged on their music and azalea society." I looked forward to 71-75 New Oxford Street, London.) not for saying what they think." interviewing Mr. Edwards. QUESTION AND ANSWER FROM ZEN KOAN REPORTED BY NAT PARADE MAGAINZE'S "PERSON­ SLOGAN ADOPTED BY STATION" But then came the first press con­ HENTOFF IN AN EVERGREEN RE­ ALITY PARADE" COLUMN: "O. Are WEEI, BOSTON, IN PARAPHRASE OF ference in Chicago and the remarks VIEW ARTICLE ENTITLED "SOME- the Beatles swingers? A. They "LENNON AND HIS FELLOW THEO­ that were to become almost a lit­ THING'S HAPPENING AND YOU swing." LOGIANS (SIC)": "The Beatles are any in the next week. "I'm sorry, DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. DO YOU, dead." I'm sorry I said it really. I never MR. JONES?": "Do you plan to re­ "THE MOODY BLUES" COMMENT meant it as a lousy, antireligious cord any anti-war songs? ' a report­ ON JOHN LENNON'S HOME LIFE IN EXCERPT FROM A SPEECH MADE thing. . .1 wasn't saying whatever er asks the Beatles. "All our songs," "TEEN LIFE" MAGAZINE: "John ON THE FLOOR OF THE MASSACHU­ they're saying I was waying. I was John Lennon looks at this museumed tends to be more 'homebodyish' than SETTS HOUSE BY REPRESENTA­ sort of deploring the attitude toward man, "are anti-war." the others. . .the boys said that he is TIVE CHARLES IANELLO OF ROX- Christianity." a very good father — modernistic BURY: "Who are these four creeps Solo voice: "From what I've read EXCERPT FROM A LETTER TO in discipline, doesn't fuss, but cares to put themselves above the Almighty or observed, it Just seems to me to "TIME" MAGAZINE FROM PATTY very much. Little Julian adores his . . .who wants to send their (sic)' be shrinking, to be losing contact." AND SUSAN HUTCHESON REPLY­ father and follows him everywhere children to listen to those four?" Chorus: "And we all deplore it." ING TO CHARGES BY THAT MAG­ he goes when he's home." And the war was over almost be­ AZINE THAT "DAY-TRIPPER" IS PARAGRAPH FROM A VARIETY fore the battle had been joined. One A SONG ABOUT A DEMIMONDAINE TWO SENTENCES FROM A RE­ ARTICLE HEADLINED "BEATLES by one, the blackout stations put AND THAT "NORWEGIAN WOOD" VIEW OF BRIAN EPSTEIN'S AUTO­ ONLY SLIGHTLY BOFF": "Several "Eleanor Rigby" back on the air CONCERNS A MAN WHO TRIES TO BIOGRAPHY IN THE NEW YORK local stations have been reminded (except of course for the Southern SEDUCE A LESBIAN: "Just because REVIEW OF BOOKS; D.A.N. JONES, by their lawyers that refusing to play stations which had never played Bea­ you ole hags can't appreciate good AUTHOR OF "NEVER HAD IT SO Beatle records because of Lennon's tles, records anyway), and Art Buch- music or play guitar worth a jelly­ continued on poge 8 statement might be in violation of the wald wrote a definitive funny column bean doesn't mean you have tb 'go: civil rights laws which prohibit dis­ about the whole tsimmus. Xaviar protesting about the Beatles. . . crimination on grounds of religious Edwards announced that he was call­ both of us agree that "Day-Tripper" beliefs." ing off his surprises. and "Norwegian Wood" are not in­ decent. Where did you get that idea? All's well that ends well, but I CHANTED VERDICT OF THE Take our advice: state the right facts was still a little disappointed. Un­ or flake out!" CROWD OF GRILS WHO SAW THE reasonably. So long as the contro­ BEATLES OFF AT A LONDON AIR­ versy was raging, so long as the PORT: "John, not Jesus! John, not KKK was adding an agreeable ele­ COMPLETE TEXT OF A LET­ Jesus!" ment of tension to every Beatles' TER ON ORDINARY RULED PAPER concert, it was possible for me to DISPLAYED UNDER A SIGN READ­ BRIAN EPSTEIN, ON BEING ASK­ delude myself into thinking that I ING "CHECK THIS" BY A CELE­ ED IF HE THOUGHT THE BEATLES was in on what might someday be a BRATED PEANUT BUTTER STAND -HAD LOST FACE AS A RESULT OF footnote to the God-Is-Dead contro- IN FARMER'S MARKET. LOS AN­ THIS LATEST RECRUDESCENCE OF versty, rather than another article GELES. CALIFORNIA: "Thank YOU WHAT HE CHARACTERIZED AS "THE NORMAL SORT OF BEATLE FUROR": "I don't know." Neither did I. But I was curious enough to write to Mr. Richard Coe, drama and film critic of the Wash­ ington Post, who on the strength of a very slight acquaintanceship kindly saw to it that I was mailed an in­ vitation to the Beatles' August 15 press conference in Washington, D.C. I planned to cover all the angles. I was not the only one in the Washington area interested in the Beatles' imminent arrival. The even­ ing before the story of Lennon's re­ traction broke, Mr. Xaviar Edwards, Exalted Cyclops of the Maryland

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•- GOOD," IS DESCRIBING THE CHANGE WROUGHT IN EPSTEIN BY THE BEATLES: "He had not realized that Liverpool, that low-class town, The Beatles could be stylish and romantic. Sud­ denly it was the city celebrated by continued from page 7 Edith Piaf, the seaport where young­ sters could sail to Hamburg and, like Brahms, provide light music in a is a faun,*' he informed me (he feature writers and the female'taste- enough; the .hollow-cheeked beau­ street of whores." meant "fan"), "and I'm supposed to makers, the lesser-known Nancy tiful yet inaccessible girls who sell take the boys this sign and try to Dickersons who the day after would pastel-colored underwear in the pages meet her afterwards or some ridic­ fill us in on the favorite recipe of the of the New York Times Magazine. SURREALISM - IN-JOURNALISM ulous thing. It won't work, of course." wife of the French Ambassador or But what were they doing here? No AWARD. TO "TEEN LIFE's" APO­ He blew out his cheeks in irritation. write another human interest story one talked to them, or even seemed CRYPHAL "BEATLES' SECRET DI­ Fleet Street was never like this. about the deplorable conditions in to notice them. They were obviously ARY"; TYPICAL EXCERPT: "Mon­ Presumably the fan was either Junior Village. They all chatted among not taking notes; a few of them day: After a long rest, we had the Susan Dobbs or Theresa Earles, but themselves; they had been here be­ looked capable of using the word press men who have flown with us on he seemed a little sensitive about the fore. Then there were the young men "marvy" in conversation. tour up for a farewell pool side party. whole business, so I didn't ask. We from out-of-town, a few of them, at We all have to leave Beverly Hills." least, actually traveling with the Who was the young man standing went down a series of concrete ramps behind the Beatles' table? He had a past floors of dully gleaming Chevro- Beatles — men from the radio sta­ tions and the teenage magazines. I face like a cowboy's and hair like EXCERPTS FROM A LETTER lets; it was impossible to take a wrong a girl's, and was wearing a white OUTLINING "PRESS CONFERENCE turn—there was a copy every twenty counted five different colors of pais­ ley tie. vinyl jacket; I watched him intently PROCEDURE" SENT TO ME BY feet, like a fire brigade. The con­ for almost a minute but he never ALLEN J. BLOOM OF "SUPER AT­ ference room Itself was guarded like The rest of the people could have moved a muscle and never said a TRACTIONS, INC.": "No one, with­ Hitler's bunker, with four cops out­ come from anywhere. The prep school word. In that crowd, he hardly stood out exception, will be allowed in the side and two filling the door. The boys with the instamatic cameras pre­ out, and of course I never found out dressing room areas. No one, in­ Telegraph man flipped open his wallet sumably had connections with the who he was. All the lonely people, cluding photographers, will be al­ to show his identification and went show's promoters, and this may also where do they all belong? lowed on the field at any time. . . . confidently in; I toyed with the idea of have been true of the little groups There will be no autographs issued flipping my wallet open to my MSU of middle-aged women. But what about There was a patter of applause during this press conference, so in bus pass. the girls with peach lipstick and deep and the Beatles entered from stage order to save everyone embarrass­ The first cop in the door took my tans? I recognized their type easily right. ment do not attempt to ask for auto­ invitation, adding it to a stack in his graphs. . .There will be positively no IOOOOOOOO INDIVIDUAL interviews." hand. "Identification, please." Next Week: The Conference, The Concert "I haven't got any. Just the, uh, I arrived at the Stadium late, and invitation." had to run up the last apron of park­ "Who are you with?" "The, uh, Underground Press Syn­ ing spaces to make it on time. Around A pair of wet and limpid eyes the glass doors of Entrance A were dicate." Blank look. Shaving Mirror I started to explain, but in my As guileless as the summer skies about a hundred girls, indescribable, Face tfie quotidian horror except perhaps to say that Holden nervousness I must have used the word "student." This was a trigger Of the bathroom shaving mirror: Caufield would probably have despised A mirror-self so knifelike, them all. I showed my engraved in­ word, as I should have known. The first cop folded his arms. "Our or­ So pale — and yet so lifelike. vitation and was passed through the The eyes can read the structure doors along with a little man wearing ders say no student publications are allowed in—" "How old are you?" Of the bones beneath the skin: a rumpled gray suit and carrying Jutting clavicle, maxilla, some kind of rolled banner. I asked asked the second cop, who had been looking me over. Rib, sternum, and mandibula; him, one hardened newsman to an­ Beneath the musculature other, who he was with. "Twenty-two," I lied. The dreadful bones show clear. "London Daily Telegraph," he said, They looked at each other. "Hell, let him in," said the second cop. They'll knit as clean as ever broadening the last "a" almost out When the body's cold and sere. of recognition. "One of our readers I picked ray way forward across a floor littered with coaxial cables. The London Daily Telegraph man The eyes have narrowed into slits. was standing indecisively just in­ Better than ordinary wits side the door, his banner still furled, Lurk beneath the tangle ^ apparently steeling himself to plunge Of the hair upon the skull. into the crowd in the center of the "This kind of morbidity room. He smiled wanly at me as I Is just hypersensitivity," would you believe. came up. "Well," he said, "you've He thinks, and spits his toxins got In, anyhow." "Mmm," I said. Savagely into the sink. The room had been billed as a "A passing mental sickness "Clubhouse"; apparently this was a That comes from missing breakfast." euphemism for "locker room." The And it's true that after eating wire cages along the walls showed the There's a pleasant, heavy lull. For Sale homey touch of the Senators: strips of But the house is cold as ever, "AGE 18 VOTE!" CAMPAIGN buttons and/ masking tape lettered "McCormick And his mind feels Just as dull. or stickers (large) 4/$ 1.00. Price per 100: 16" and "Richert 24," a black and $15. Collins, Box 2846-N, Santa Monica, orange sticker reading "Batman likes STEP BADRICH Calif. Batboys." At both sides of the room DOWN WITH INNOCENT BYSTANDERSM! were batteries of lights, camera, re­ For sale: Slide rule, bamboo, 10" scales cording equipment and technicians with extensions, 14" overall. 25 scales, with earphones. Editorial Campaign including trig (with one extra scale for direct readout or cosine) and full range But the real show was in the cen­ of log-log scales. Carrying case with belt ter. Milling around among the rows loop included. Contact Jim Landau, 327 E. of folding chairs was one of the Akers, 35-32132. strangest groups of people I have ever seen. I picked out the newsmen ARE ALL YOUR FRIENDS FRAT? Are you bored with paries where everyone is an ad­ first; not the power elite of the vertising major, an admirer of Richard Washington press corps of course; Nixon, and a hawk on Vietnam? Stay as they were either downtown or home cool as vou are and call RENT-A-LEFTIE, in bed. These were the good male LTD., 353-8175. For just one dollar an hour we'll send you an authentic Eastern hippie, absolutely harmless but guaranteed to outrage everybody's sensibilities and turn your next party into a Berkeley-type Hap­ pening! Phone todayl References on request.

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CLASSIFIEDS: Call 351-7373 50 words/$1 THE PAPER Hates Corner Tables den is trov«r I've seen so many movies since last portant respect quite sane: he loves ion, no cruelty, no cry of pain. An right. spring that I can't possibly do justice his wife, and knows she loves him. Angel dies, in a room full of bick­ And George Stevens, when he wasn't to them. I held out hope that I could In a sane world, two people who love ering, curious, indifferent friends; just purveying Sunday-school calen­ devote full columns to "Who's Afraid and need each other would not be his last wish is to get high, but the dar-art, did some very nice visual of Virginia Woolf?", "Morgan," and getting a divorce, parting forever. marijuana cigarette just makes him things. His "Giant" was kitsch too, "The Wild Angels," but now that the Now, the world is in that respect cough and falls out of his mouth as but I remember vividly some of his term is started there's no point in not sane, and Morgan is in other he dies; the face of his girl is con­ shots of the Texas plains; same kidding myself; so, devil-may-care respects not sane; Morgan becomes a torted with pain, but her scream is here. as always, I'm setting out to do less- Quixote-like figure: crazy, but, in a soundless; another Angel picks up than-Justice to everything I've seen way we can all sympathize with, san­ the cigarette to avoid wasting it. 'MISCELLANEOUS' in the last four months. er than the people who realistically We are gradually led to see the "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" is a accept the death of love. Angels from the point of view of their good idea for a short subject; at full WHO'S AFRAID OF-VIRGINIA WOOLF Where the picture goes wrong— leader, who is slowly realizing the length, it's like "Batman": depend­ and when it goes, it really goes—is horror of his life. By the final ent for interest on precisely those Easily the best film I saw this sum­ in using Morgan's illness to work scenes—an orgy in a church, followed elements of violence and simple- mer. The highbrow critics started in a lot of outrageous, pointless by a funeral—he can say believably, minded thrills that it purports to out panning it because Elizabeth Tay­ slapstick, in turning Morgan into a as he refuses to run from the police make fun of. It begins with lots of lor is sometimes too coarse or too lovable cut-up instead of a man fight­ with the rest of the Angels, "There's cool, but runs steadily downhill. weak, because Sandy Dennis was a ing for his life. nowhere to go." The final funeral The same was true of "Modesty mess throughout, because the scene For example: when Morgan, in a procession of motorcycles with their in the cafe was contrived and verged Blaise," cooler than which you just gorilla suit, crashes his wife's wed­ lights on, preceded by a near-hyster­ cannot get. Any film in which the on melodrama, because Mike Nichols ding, it is his last desperate try to ical girl and followed by swarms of Included a hackneyed shot of shadows hero and heroine (both spies on a make contact before he slips into middle-class curiosity-seekers, is mission) can show up from nowhere, on a bedroom window, because the total insanity. His wife, understand­ something to hold in the memory for­ imaginary-child device still doesn't stop their Jaguar by a roadside and ing, yells for him to run, escape. ever. break into kitschy, irrelevant song work very well — plenty of reasons, But the director is so busy with the all true but irrelevant. Not that the.film as a whole is any­ while wearing funny hats and eating slapstick possibilities of a gorilla where near as good as its best parts. triple-decker ice-cream cones is so Albee's play was a magnificent falling in a wedding cake that her The acting is mostly terrible; the far out it's in — which of course is piece of work, almost. It should have line is virtually thrown away in the character of the leader is only vague­ the idea. I enjoyed a lot of it im­ been as good as "Long Day's Journey background confusion. This is symp­ ly hinted at: there is some violence mensely, but after 100 minutes of Into Night," with which it has certain tomatic. Second example: the wife's that's just sensational; a confronta­ sheer whimsy I began to feel as if things in common. It isn't, because husband-to-be is played as a cari­ tion with a minister is embarrass­ of the imaginary-child business, catured, pompous ass, when he ought ingly explicit and completely off-key; cootinued-.on pqge 10 which is a theatrical sideshow where to be perfectly rational and likeable. any number of small things. Still, in the truth should be. There are plenty The suspicion is that his role is as it a lot of ways, it's one of the most of theories about what the final truth is just to (for the wrong reasons) exciting American movies I've seen Auspicious Beginnings Award: to about George and Martha IS, and I make Morgan look good by compari­ in a long time. the professor who last week told his have one of my own, but it isn't in son. first year language class, "In this the play. George and Martha know what THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD course, we are going to stress cor­ they're doing: WHY do they go on The performances of Vanessa Red­ grave and David Warner were su­ To the ridiculous. ' . - rect pranounciarion (sic)." with their awful, savage games when perb, and there were some beauti­ they clearly love each other? Call me In most ways, "Greatest Story" «*» imiumimmmmm up sometime, and we'll talk about it, ful little scenes between them; it is looks like the bomb of the century. mit-not now. preposterous to dismiss a picture with I copied down two lines, from the things that good in it. Reisz just should thousands just as incredible. Early Whimsy Award: sign on a soft drink . F inally, respectable p e o p 1 e are have trusted his story. in Christ's wanderings, a remark­ machine in Hubbard Hall: "Out of starting to admit it: the movie is ably perceptive girl watches him Sprite." better than the stage version was, THE WILD ANGELS leave and says, "I am frightened and yes I saw the original cast. for him. He is too good." At the ***ivmvg L.miimttw. The stage version didn't have Rich­ The first time I saw "The Wild Angels," I half-thought it was a end, the priests of the Sanhedrin Truth In Packaging Award: "Selma, ard Burton (in one of the best per­ are discussing the Crucifixion. "It'll formances I've ever seen); it didn't masterpiece. The second time, I saw Alabama. A good place to visit... a that I'd been doing most of the work to all be forgotten in a week," one better place to live."—Highway sign. have close-ups; it suppressed to a says. An aged priest gazes reflective­ large extent any evidences of af­ make it into one. The point is, it wasn't ludicrous to think of it in those ly out the window and says (I swear), More-Than-Meets-The-Eye Depart­ fection between George and Mar­ "I wonder. . ." And the effect of tha; and it went on too long. terms* which is remarkable for a film ment; or Exegesis Award: In late about Hell's Angels starring Peter having John Wayne, Pat Boone, Ed July, Ho Chi Minh replied to a CBS Granted, Nichols made mistakes- Fonda and Nancy Sinatra, directed by Wynn, and Shelley Winters turn up query about captured American air­ straining to avoid stasis with too the man who gave you "Attack of the at the oddest moments is simply men with a four-word telegram in many close-ups, too many irrele­ Crab Monsters," "Drag Strip Girl," indescribable. English: "No trial in view." it was vant shots (like George's getting the and many many more. But in the middle of all that kitsch, announced the following morning that umbrella-shotgun) — but the point As it stands, the film is mostly a Max Von Sydow was playing Jesus State Department officials had the is that he avoided stasis, he avoided semi-documentary about the Angels, with (often) a frightening, beautiful, telegram "under studv." Just photographing a play or opening covering a few days of rumbles, or­ fanatical seriousness, in some it up to the point of making it un­ gies, and general time-killing. As it scenes, you could almost catch the recognizable. What came through was might have been (and for a few feeling of what it would have been straight Albee, most of it extraor­ stretches, is), it's a tour of hell, like to be there when a man like dinarily fine. a vision of life as savage, loveless, that was gathering strength; you could There's been hardly anything in and pointless. feel the excitement of an idea whose American films to match it. Newsweek called it an "ugly piece time has come, and sort of under­ of trash," and it's ugly all right; stand where the last two thousand MORGAN Roger Corman spares us no incis­ years went wrong or, if you prefer, East Lansing is probably the only town in the country that couldn't hold Karel Reisz's "Morgan" for more than a week, though it ought to be remembered that this town couldn't do any better for Dr. Strangelove." Anyway, it's gone. It was a good film, at times a very moving film, but it was as mixed- up as its hero. Basically, it was the story of a young man —> an artist — who for various reasons (i.e., his loss of faith in Marx, his apparent inability to work any more) is going insane. He has become impossible to live with, and his wife, realistical­ ly, is divorcing him. Some critics have said that the film is therefore sick, because a lot of it is comedy, even far-out slap­ stick, and the humor derives, es­ sentially, from watching the antics of a crazy man. What they fail to grasp is that, though his methods are Irrational, Morgan is in one im­ Movies continued from page 9

I agree to have iViichigan Stale Lmi.civ.iy I'd been eating those triple-decker I saw previews of "Hawaii" ana provide joch info;-.tr.lion ^onccr:ii.i«j niy cones myself, all evening long. Ab­ "The Fortune Cookie" (Billy Wild­ ACddCirtiC Si.l.Ci .-•» the ic.lCTlivc S.'ivico solutely anything could happen, and er - Jack Lemmon), which ethics pre­ Syitom may requen unfortunately did. vent me from telling you about until "A Fine Madness" was a shallow they're released. However, preview but, given its limitations, expert piece of a review: In "Hawaii" Max Van i tlPtCI lULBtWtl-IlBM of work. It was the story of a poet- Sydow once again stands alone a- iconoclast and the havoc he causes gainst forces of kitsch, led this time trying to keep away from financial and by Julie Andrews and goes down emotional hazards and finish a big fighting among a lot of nice-looking palm trees and native girls. "The poem. Sort of a picaresque. It was Fortune Cookie" is as grubby and consistently bright and funny, at the distasteful a film as I've ever seen. expense of some American institu­ tions — like psychiatry and the mid­ There is more, much more, but The University is now doing a bit of a favor to all male students. It happened dle-class housewife — that are very you'll have to call me to find it out. during registration. In the confusion you, along with thousands of others signed seldom effectively satirized on the I warn you; it will be a recording. a declaration stating "I agree to have Michigan State University provide such screen. As his wife, Joanne Wood­ information concerning my academic status as the Selective Service System ward gave a beautiful comic perform­ Next week: "Dear John' and "The may request." In return the University will notify your draft board of your ance. Sleeping Car Murder." student status. If you do not sign there is no notification, and you do not get "Khartoum" was a dreary flop, your student deferment. Neat isn't it? except for Laurence Olivier's brief PAPER subscribers won't ERICOTTINGER scenes. "The Agony and the Ecstasy" was a drearier flop, since Rex Har­ o rison is not up to Olivier, and they both had to play to Charlton Heston. T "The Russians Are Coming The Rus­ sians Are Coming" was often funny, either. but delivered its banal plug for peace­ ful co-existence with all the subtle­ ty of a UN propaganda film. "Duel at Diablo" was a good west­ ern; "Nevada Smith" was a godaw­ ful western. £ \\ 9ADD| ),UOM Aaqi wg p- The White Collar Wonderland hMmCene

From the moment you step from the train at the men's, women's and "mixed" softball, golf Your job itself is performed within an envir­ the 47th Street subway station and into the opu­ and bowling clubs. There are baseball outings, onment of soothing, pallid-colored, emotionally- lent, shop-lined, air-conditioned passage that ex­ picnic outings; you are entitled to swim, with­ neutral plastic. After a while, you will begin to tends for four blocks underground to the sub­ out charge, three evenings a week at a nearby notice how well the people themselves blend terranean entrance of the Equitable Life As­ pool. And if you demonstrate appropriate en­ into the decor, and wonder whether you are also surance Building, you are already a part of the thusiasm, you may win the Participant of the being assimilated into it. phenomenon of American corporate liberalism. Year Award, and your name will be placed on The Equitable Building is a mammoth struc­ You do not have to breathe the polluted air of the bulletin board of every department in the ture of thirty-eight floors, a classic expression Manhattan directly, or see the. sun once during . ...b.Uad|BgV;;. ,,..,,,;...... ;,,.,. . „.._•,.... .-•• " of "neo-glassic" architecture. It houses so many the walk—and that is indicative of the treat­ The more serious-minded are invited to sub­ employees that starting times, stopping times ment you will receive for the rest of the day. mit ideas enabling the company to reduce its and lunch period's are" enScten'^re^taggergd' Your work, of course, will be intensely alien­ expenses. If your suggestion saves the company shifts: when the proper bell rings, you begin to ating: filling out forms, reading endless reports; a certain number of thousands or hundreds of work; when it rings again, you stop. adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing thousands of dollars, you will receive the Idea numbers which represent nothing to you—so of the Month Award, and not only your name If you work on the fourteenth floor—fur­ that the experience of dealing with them is hol­ but also your picture will be placed on the vari­ nished entirely with filing cabinets—soft vio­ low and unreal. Grappling with apparently ous bulletin boards. To demonstrate the com­ lins play rcorded Richard Rodgers. For the top meaningless concepts for five days a week will pany's attitude, you will be rewarded with a executives, of course, there is a special elevator damage your ability to deal with reality at all. check for twenty-five (count 'em) dollars. with expensive carpetting. The difference in The natural consequence of this would be for status between those who run the company and you to develop a sense of resentment directed Speedline Special you is expressed in terms of the gap between against the unreal symbols and eventually Equitable also provides a giant cafeteria, the musical filing cabinets and the carpetted ele­ against the company which has placed them be­ where you may choose from among a wide se­ vators. The gap is occasionally bridged at the fore you. And to a certain extent, that is the lection of appetizers, soups, entrees, luncheon cost of many ulcers. case. salads, "grill specials," speedline specials," des­ There is no labor union at Equitable—nor any But Equitable attempts to direct your atten­ serts and beverages—served at moderate prices apparent need for one. The idyllic vision of tion away from your job, to present the illusion in clean, pleasant surroundings. Your lunch aged union organizers and quasi-radicals seems of a Benevolent Equitable by creating an artifi­ break is forty-five minutes long, which is longer to have already been achieved in the offices of cial sense of community and contentment—en­ than is required for you to eat but not enough the big corporations. You are completely de­ couraging you to identify your individual as­ for you to go anywhere. So you sit in the cafe­ pendent upon Equitable: it shelters you from pirations with those of the company in such a teria and talk or you return to your department the world, insulates you from reality. It em­ way that you will not lead a life separate from and talk, and there is no need to leave the build­ bodies the most "enlightened" self-interest im­ it at all. ing at all. And the conversations are so little aginable. And if you should notice with surprise connected with events in the outside world—and one morning that you really don't want to go Participant of the Year so connected with the affairs of your depart­ to work—and you will—the fact would be greet­ You will be invited to join the art, drama, mental "community"—that they simply rein­ ed with surprise by these elderly gentlemen. Yet bridge, flower arranging, choral and glee clubs; force the company line. the company retains the right to hire and fire at will, and the basic purpose of unions—to give, the workers a certain amount of control over their lives—is nowhere evident. AJ1 of the benefits which Equitable bestows upon you are designed to obscure these facts. It is just as in Equitable's advertisements, where the reality is obscured by a perfumed atmosphere of Reprinted from sanctity; in the office, it presents an atmosphere of good fellowship and concern for your wel­ Liberation U.S.A. fare. The services it provides—many of which cost the -company little or. nothing—are part of a sales campaign directed against you rather (published by the than the public. Its aim to convince you that the American company—and the system of which that com­ pany is a part—is capable of satisfying your Liberation League) every need; and to prevent you from directing the latent frustration which your work generates against its source. It presents such a syrupy atmosphere that you arc occasionally startled when you realize that the means by which the company has accumu­ lated the surplus capital which enables it to provide for your welfare—and the welfare of those who own the company—is speculating upon one's chances of dying. With One Eye Open The Handbook As Literature

but If you're 22 and live in Hubbard Hall (as unlikely as that would be), university should be composed of all you can't keep one little Winchester those who desire knowledge, what­ or one little can of Blatz in your ever their status as students. Cer­ room. Ah, the joys of marriage. tainly Paul Krassner's visit to this Another one of the"Did you know?" campus last year was a perfect ex­ catagory: "Students may be withheld ample of somebody lingering idly from registration. . .for mental health along the way, but I would have to . . .reasons." No source given for that count his violation of Ordinance 21.00 one, but I'd sure as hell like to find as one of the most rewarding ex­ Police Department (sometimes). You out who decides who's crazy around periences of the school year—not can't have more than 12 vehicles in here. counting, of course, my ATL courses. the procession and you can't stop One hundred years after Darwin, Then there is something called except for stop lights and you can't we have the following "Administrative double jeopardy. All citizens are make noise except when you're mov­ By BRADFORD A. LANG Ruling of July, 1953": "Dogs, cats, or supposedly protected from double ing and you might as well not do it other animals are not permitted in punishments for crimes by some anyway, 'cause parades are only al­ "A Handbook for Students/' says University residences. (This policy rather high laws of the land. But lowed on weekdays between 5:30 and the introduction, "should be viewed stems from health and sanitation re­ here we have a paragraph from the 6:30 p.m. as a. . . .starting point for students quirements}" I'm sure glad they in­ Handbook which clearly makes double According to the Faculty Com­ in. understanding University regula­ cluded that parenthetical explana­ jeopardy, the rule for all law vio­ mittee on Student Affairs (which, tions." Well, I'm really glad some­ tion. I was afraid somebody high up lations. No source is given for this by the way, seems to have had a hand body finally did something about it. in administration circles just didn^ one: "All students are expected to live in writing most of the student regul­ Last year nobody understood the reg­ like puppies and kittens. in accordance with state and local ations of any consequence), it is ulations because they didn't know what Every city has its anti-riot laws. laws." So far so good. But: "When illegal to drink intoxicating bever­ the regulations were. Now we have Our Board of Trustees Ordinance students violate such laws, it is of ages or to carry on all night at an made the Great Leap Forward in 16.00 reads as follows: ". . .No per­ concern to both the local and Uni­ off-campus party sponsored by a understanding by collecting all the son or persons shall, without auth­ versity community." So. Go write registered student group. But what, rules in the aforementioned Handbook. orization, assemble together any­ a letter to your congressman. I ask, about the Veteran's Club? Is Understanding should therefore follow where on the campus for the purpose Sex is a big thing in the Hand­ a left-wing party also an SDS party? like a thunderbolt from the sky. of creating any noise or disturbance, book. Not Qnly are there four whole What if everybody is over 21? Etc.? However, it somehow escapes me riot, 'panty raid' or other improper pages of "Women's Standards and The Vegetable Venders Ordinance. just how writing down a rule in a diversion. . . ." Just what, one Regulations"—most of which deal Phaugh. book is supposed to make it any easier might ask, is an "improper diver­ either directly or indirectly with Student Organization Registration to understand. Especially some of heterosexual relations—but the regu­ Policy. Phaugh. THESE regulations. Very few people, lation dealing with the presence of Finally we come to the end of the I would venture to guess, have under­ members of the opposite sex in book. One last regulation remains to taken the arduous task of actually sleeping quarters is listed, for some be considered, all those following be­ sitting down and reading through "A reason, twice. That is supposedly for ing either innocuous or untrans­ Handbook for Students"; 1 took it the purpose of cross-indexing, but latable. This final entry is perhaps upon myself to do so the other day, although I searched diligently, I could the most terrifying of all, partly be­ and now I believe my life would be find no other regulations treated in cause of its utter simplicity, partly much simpler and more full of joy such a manner. because of its utter sincerity, and and song had [ never even happened In order to hold a parade or pro­ party because of its utter impossi­ upon that subversive little book. For cession on campus, you must first bility. We read and read again and example: get permission from the Cabinet are finally forced to ask the fatal Board of Trustees Ordinance 24.00 sion"? A lot of people look upon President of ASMSU, the Student Ac­ question: reads as follows: ". . .No person Water Carnival as an improper di­ tivities Division, the Department of What in the hell is a serenade? shall improperly, lewdly, wantonly or version of sorts, but I guess it has Public Safety, and the East Lansing wrongfully accost, ogle, insult, annoy, authorization. 11111W follow, pursue, lay hands on, or by Every city also has its anti-loiter- gesture, word, movement of body or ing laws, but ours has a peculiar twist otherwise molest any person upon the relating to the nature of a university. Crossword lands governed by said Board." Gentle Ordinance 21.00: ". . .No person reader, I will give you a paragraph shall loiter in any building, street, by THE LOUNGE division to let that sink in. or area where he is not assigned I have "lewdly ogled" and "wanton­ for living, work, or study purposes." ACROSS ly followed" many a young lady in my According to Funk and Wagnalls New day, and I have "insulted by gesture" Practical Standard Dictionary, to loiter is "to linger idly along the 1. Burning Spear many a young man. And Goaonly knows '• _- American how it would be possible to "other­ way; spend time idly; be dilatory; delay." 8. Peace creep wise molest" anybody according to the 9. Raped grape terms of the ordinance. They don't Now, I spend a lot of time just 12. Exclamation leave much to the imagaination. Of hanging around in various dormitory 13. Sparkplugs course, they could have included snack bars talking and drinking car­ 14. barbus "rape," but I suppose that's covered bonated beverages. If that isn't be­ 15. Baby Birchites under "lewdly laying hands on" and ing "dilatory" where I'm not sup­ "molesting by movement of body." 16. Station posed to be so, I don't know what 18. Southern breakfast food I seem to remember a line from a is. Can they kick me out if they 19. Diddle v song by the Four Lads entitled "Stand­ don't like the color of my socks? 21. Extremity ing on the Corner" which goes, Isn't a university supposed to be a place where members of a commun­ 22. Kettle "Brother, you can't go to jail for 23. Southern University what you're thinking or for the woo ity of scholars can linger idly along Answer Next Week life's weary road and spend time 25. Direction look in your eye." I used to swear 26. Beef; two words by that song. Now I'm not so sure. idly conversing with their fellows? 6. More vegetation A friend of mine suggested that we I would guess that most students 29. All-American hockey player 8. tea; Jap. go turn ourselves in to the Dean of learn most of what they learn of 30. Sigma (animal) 10. Folio man Students and see what happens. I sup­ any important nature while loiter­ 31. Leftists 11. What you're doing pose it would be something to do when ing around in places like the Union 12. Olive the horses aren't running, but I'd grill. DOWN 17. Flunky be damn sure to hire a lawyer first. Or is the ordinance only meant 19. Herb Can you imagine the scene? "But, to apply to non-students? In other 1. Self-defense 20. Margarine officer, she's my wife!" "I don't words, because I am a student, am I 2. Mar; var. (misspelled) 24. How to obtain Merit Scholars care who she is, ya sex pervert, technically assigned for living, work, 3. the Ayth 27. Tube get in the car!" or study purposes any place on cam­ 4. Sam 28. It is backwards 5. Leaf Did you know that residents of pus? If that be so, I must protest 29. 29 Across Married Housing are exempted from doubly, for a community of scholars the prohibitions against firearms and is not just a bunch of people who have alcohol in their living quarters? An given their pint of blood or what­ 18-year-old married couple can have ever to the middle-aged ladies man­ Next Week all the guns and booze they want, ning the booths at registration. A (white space) Our Man In Da Nang Original poetry from Jim Thomas, former MSU student now serving in the Marines. TIGERS AT THE GATE

By LAURENCE TATE THE RACE FOR THE COLLEGE BOWL It will be hard to write this with­ out offending certain people I don't care to offend. I emphasize that I am I immediately adopted a spurious­ speaking generally, and do not claim ly cynical attitude which I main­ to know much about any particular tained throughout the meeting—not person involved. that it wasn't warranted,and not that This* summer I received in the it wasn't genuine, but still, I thought, mail an invitation to come to a meet­ I'm here and everybody knows I would­ ing Sunday, October 2, in Erickson n't be here if I wasn't willing to take Kiva, to be a candidate for the MSU a lot of time and trouble to get College Bowl team. myself among the lucky four. What­ T felt—what?—a certain satisfac­ ever front I put up, I was there to tion that MSU had finally seen se­ compete, to match my range of su­ lected, obscurely related to patrio­ perficial knowledge against theirs, tism or possibly even school spirit. to, for the moment, stake my life on That, and a total inability to imagine winning. myself sitting behind one of those But, I thought, I really am cynical, counters buzzing and frantically and I almost didn't come, and I don't shouting, "Sir Walter Scott!" or "Pi­ really want to compete. What about the casso!" or "Heisenberg!" others? I knew a lot of the faces and, Still I began to look forward to almost without exception, I knew the watching our appearance (even type. dreaming about it once—we lost, How can I describe them? In con­ Ignominiously) and decided to go to versation I refer to them' as "the the first meeting, anyway, to see how ADS-math-dorm crowd," or "the these things are done. I was prodded Honors College crowd." I know them, by my parents, who—like parents because I used to be one of them. But everywhere, I'm sure—saw this as my before I can say more about them, I Big Chance, and the hell with THE have to report on the opening re­ PAPER and probably grad school ap­ marks of John Wilson, director of the that, by itself, it isn't good for any­ wards, or getting 700-plus on my col­ plications too. My parents are good Honors College. thing. • And by itself, the sort of lege boards, or comping ATL with an typical parents, and to them, College Wilson got up and said, treading "learning" displayed onCollegeBowl "A" without having read half the Bowl is the Big Time for students carefully, that he had "certain res­ isn't good for anything. Intelligence material). It is better than nothing. who can't be class president or var­ ervations" about the College Bowl. implies a certain mental maturity and They, after all, are the lucky ones: sity fullback. "It does suggest to some," he said, integrity; the College Bowl partici­ science, industry, academia, every­ My own feelings about College Bowl "that learning is only something to pants are there only to show people one clamors for bright young peo­ are simple: it's fun, in the way that be used for play, to play a game how bright they are. ple; they need never lack for se­ party games are fun. Its relevance to well." However, he went on, what the But Wilson is right (and I speak curity. So many many more are education is virtually nil, in the way American public saw of college on only of Wilson's words on this oc­ second-, third-, and fourth-rate that the relevance of objective tests TV was usually restricted to Satur­ casion; he is of course a very in­ bright kids wishing they were up to education is virtually nil. Only day afternoon- football games, which telligent man) that what is displayed with the first-raters, the major moreso. When it is considered rele­ were clearly not a fair representa­ on College Bowl is valued in our scholarship winners, the Honors vant to education, the effect is de­ tion of higher education. Certainly society. And he is right when he College crowd. structive; the same, needless to say, College Bowl was not perfect, but, implies (even without realizing it) goes for objective tests. ... he said, "The fact is, though, that it that what is displayed on College Bowl And even among the eight or so DOES reach 20 million American students in the Kiva, there were When I got here and asked around, is widely taken for intelligence. Which clear ranks; a few obviously knew I found that, as might have been ex­ homes, and it DOES suggest that in­ brings us back to the ADS-math-dorm telligence is valued in our society." they were going-to make it; others'* pected, nobody I knew was taking it crowd. What unites them? The first smiled nervously and hoped and very seriously. One or two said they Before we consider that statement, and most obvious thing to note is that begged whoever they could silently a parenthesis: last year, you re­ they were all bright children. Most beg, knowing in their hearts that they call, MSU had a top-rated football of them are probably major scholar­ were wasting their time. It was an­ team. It is now football season, and ship winners; they got to be major nounced that testing for eliminations the Stadium is once again Where the scholarship winners by taking many would begin right after the meeting; Action Is at MSU. Those concerned many viciously competitive objective in a matter of hours, only a fourth with MSU's Image are of course tests, which measured the sort of of us would remain in competition. pleased, because alumni are pleased mental agility and quick recall they William Sweetland, the team s coach, and the people of Michigan are used in their childhood and adoles­ announced that he was looking for pleased, and all that crap. But what cence to impress people with their really enthusiastic people who could if, to supplement its football pres­ brightness. Once here on their schol­ demonstrate their brightness force­ tige, MSU also had a spectacularly arships, they wound up (often) taking fully and quickly: as he put it, **I successful College Bowl team? My courses in which getting good grades want four tigers." Lord, what a mornin': Brawn AND meant simply "solving" an objective brains. "It DOES reach 20 million test the way they would solve a puz­ I looked around; I certainly could­ homes." zle. But what about intellectual ma­ n't see myself as a tiger, and [ won­ turity and integrity? Some of them dered how many of them really could. End parenthesis. Notice in Wilson's have it or will have it, sure (just as Yet they wanted to; this was, after wording the switch from "learning," College Bowl participants probably all, the Big Time for them, as my which College Bowl suggests is val­ have it much of the time), but a lot parents had thought it was for me. uable only for play, to "intelligence," of them—too many— are simply on College Bowl winners? Brighter than which the program suggests is valued their way to becoming bright adults. that you just cannot get. Right at in our society. Something has hap­ You see them everywhere; the Eng­ that moment, nothing in the world . pened here. It is accurate to say that lish majors who are masters of ex­ was more important to them than might go if the spirit moved them. I on College Bowl learning is used to egesis but have no taste or real lik­ making the team. And—horrifying­ had about decided not to let the spirit play a game. But how did intelligence ing for literature; the philosophy ma­ ly—I realized that if I let myself move me when a friend (who, for the get into this? Among them, the eight jors who do definitive work on minor go I could feel the same tension, sake of literary convenience, I will members of College Bowl teams get aspects of minor ethical theories; the the same anxiety, the same nervous call Fred) called up and mentioned a chance, per program, at an average psychology majors who argue bril­ exhilaration of preparing for com­ he was going (his parents wanted him 23 tossup questions and 17 bonus liantly for love and honesty in "in­ petition; I could be immensely happy to, he added); I decided, what the hell, questions. Certain students may ans­ terpersonal relations" amid the neu­ at winning and deeply hurt at losing. it couldn't hurt to go and listen. wer—what?—perhaps ten or more rotic ruins of their own lives. It was then I knew I wasn't going to When we got there—late--the Kiva questions, though this must be rare. stay for the Competition. Kid, I'd was already full; everybody was filling The most they can display, as the been there before. emcee usually points out, is quick I remember my first years here, out forms on which they had to rank when my friends and I had dis­ their specialties. Fred said hello to a recall of a fairly wide range of As everybody filed out to get round facts. Most of the students no doubt cussion groups which stuck to Ul­ lot of people; I said hello to a few. I timate Questions, when we compared numbers (telling them what time to looked around rather desperately; the ARE intelligent, but that isn't what return to compete), I talked with a they're there for. out National Merit scores and the spirit had not moved any of my fri­ quality of our high schools, when we girl I know slightly. She opened the ends, and I began to feel gauche for didn't have the ghost of an idea of conversation by saying, did I know being there. (Not to mention that Fred Children who memorize state cap­ why she was here? Well, she lived itals or learn to spell hard words what we could do with our lives, and I were almost the only ones there though we never admitted it. in New York and making the team not dressed in conspicuously Sunday are said to be "bright." Bright chil­ would mean a free trip to New York, clothes.) Having taken the trouble to dren know they are bright, and find Brightness alone, I repeat, isn't that was why. She laughed nervous­ show up seemed to brand me as one ways to prove to people they are good for anything. It won't do sig­ ly. I wonder if she thought I be­ who could take this kind of thing ser­ bright; often it is their chief dis­ nificant work; it won't think signifi­ lieved her. iously, and I was vaguely afraid of tinguishing characteristic. Their cant things; it won't begin to under­ being made fun of. Of course, I con­ minds work faster than other people's stand this terrifyingly complex world. Fred stayed for the competition soled myself, none of them were minds; they can memorize faster and But it's what has always set them a- and survived until next week, any­ there and none of them need ever better; they can solve puzzles, play part, what they've always been praised way. He may even make the team. find out. mental games better than other peo­ and valued for (how I loved reciting As I left without my round number, ple. The trouble with brightness is state capitals, or spelling words back­ I wished him well.