The Fortnightly of the College of Puget Sound

THE FORTNIGHTLY OF THE COLLEGE OF PUGET SOUND

VOL. VIII. - TACOMA, WASHINGTON, MARCH IS, 1919 NUMBER 9

BASKETBALL GAMES SOPHOMORES STAGE PLAYLET DR. MARVIN ADDRESSES STUDENTS

LIVELY "Old Sweetheart of Mine" Given Gives Third "Reconstruction" Lecture The last of the class programs was "All selfishness was not destroyed given Tuesday morning at Chapel when College Team Defeated when the Kaiser was done away with," the Sophomores gave the novel playlet- Three more games of the city league Dr. Marvin told the students in a splen- pantomime, "An 0 1 d Sweetheart of basketball have been played and the did address on "The Duty of the Edu- Mine." The playlet was directed by results have come out bad for the col- cated Man in This Era," in the Chapel M i s s Elizabeth Pangborne, and the lege team. The Winged A's took the Friday morning. stage-setting was very effective. college team into camp by an over- "For it has dawned upon me that The cast follows: whelming score of 43-13. The game just as over in Europe there has grown The Man ------Elmer Anderson was quite a surprise to the team, but up men and women, rich in money and The Bride ------Winifred Wayne nothing more could be expected as two spirit, forming an aristocracy, just so The Widow ------Lois Noble of the players were sick. in this country—where men get rich The Debutante ------Sue Neeley The game between the college and very rapidly—there has been a grow- The Summer Girl ------Maurine Martin the Congregatio.-ials proved interesting ing spirit of a line of demarkation The Student ------Hazel Brasslin altho the visitirg team walked away between the rich, educated man and The Sporting Girl ------Nellie Smith with the honors, 37-27. The Congre- others. This spirit must be wiped out, The College Girl ------Thelma Hastings gational team glayed with four men and I've a conviction that unless the The First Sweetheart Maude Shunk the last eight minutes of the game be- educated man gets in on this problem, After the playlet, the Class enter- cause one of their players was put out it will never be solved. Between the tained with songs and yells. for personal fouls. stupidity of the wealthy class and the 14 Anderson and Curtis put up the best brute force of the lower class, there LECTURE GIVEN BY PROF. ROBBINS game for the ollege, and for the must be a mediatory class. winners Haskell and Van Voris starred. "This reconstruction era must be a Speaks in "Reconstruction" Series The Smelter game proved to be a slow, evolutionary era or else be filled The second lecture in the Recon- big surprise for he Ruston men. They with tragic wrecks. For there are struction Series, which is being given came up to the game expecting to have certain groups of p,pIe .. here under the direction of Dean Mor- a quiet wa1k-awy, but went away still much industrial selfishness, and all the ton and the faculty, was given by Prof. sweating from the close call that they passion and lust of industrial domina- Charles A. Robbins and proved to be had had. tion must be wiped out. an interesting account of the work done The Smelter Lye started out strong "There is a certain group who are by the Diplomatic Service. in the first half and ran up a score of saying that war is a biological neces- HARRY E. GARDNER Prof. Robbins has only recently re- 20-8. The C. P. S. quintet came back stiy, while another group contend that turned from Denmark, where he has strong in the second half and nearly war is all over and everything settled. been with the American Legation at took the game. The game ended with Between these two groups is the in- STUDENT EARNS NEARLY $3000 Copenhagen for more than a year. His a score of 27-25 in favor of the Smel- formed man who repudiates the first, CARRYING PAPERS material was from first-hand knowledge ter men. yet who does not live in a fool's para- and he gave the students a wonderful Anderson, Brady and Kinch played dise, for he is going to watch more view of that branch of government ser- good games for the College and Gor- "Street to Pulpit, News to Scrip- carefully than ever before. And that vice. His address closed with several don showed up bst for the winners. tures, the rise of Harry E. Gardner, a is the attitude of the Middle Man. humorous incidents of his life in Den- The line-ups: carrier for The Times, is one of the "Whether a sword is clean or un- mark. Winged A's(43) (13)C.P.S. brightest chapters in the history of clean is according to the ethical or Olswang ------F ------Anderson Tacoma's self-made men." non-ethical cause for which it is drawn. ST. PATRICK AND THE SHAMROCK Nelson, Fithian F ------Brady It is thus that The Tacoma Daily There is a vast difference between the Jq Gardner ------C ------Lemmon Times writes in a recent issue of Harry sword Germany unsheathed and the A story i8 told of St. Patrick to ac- Pollen ------C ------Kinch Gardner, a prominent Senior here in sword America unsheathed! count for the Irish wearing sprigs of Mullen ------G. Curtis, Williston the College. "Human nature has been remade in shamrock in their coats on the day "Hatless, often on the run, Gardner millions of cases in this war. Yet down when they celebrate his memory. Congregationals(37) (27)C.P.S. has been a familiar figure on Pacific beneath it all, there is a great deal of It is said that when St. Patrick land- Haskell(l3) ------F- ____ (15)Anderson Avenue and Broadway," continues The old human nature that we'll have to ed near Wicklow, in Ireland, the peo- Washburne(2) F ------(2)Brady Times. deal with. I ask you to believe that ple did not like his trying to get them \'anVorris(lS) C------(l0)Lemmon "And now officials of the M. E. life cannot be accounted for in a circle to change their religion. To them the Brainerd D,r G ------Kinch Church say he is doing splendid work with one focus point. Some have tried teaching was all nonsense. When he Braven Dye C ------Curtis in preaching at the Midland and Sum- to reduce life to such a simple basis began to talk to them about the Father, Referej. E , ost. mit View churches. His efforts as a that it loses its fullness. Life is not the Son, and the Holy Ghost, three carrier have enabled him to go thru simple, but complex. It can better be persons in one God, the people would Smelter(-7) (25)C.P.S. the College of Puget Sound, where he compared to an ellipse with two foci- L. Ketchel( 10) F-----(1 3)Anderson will graduate this spring." not believe him. And they became so 'myself' and 'others.' All sane govern- angry at him that they picked up Downey(6) ------F------(8)Brady Gardner has carried The Times for ments are built on this principle. stones with the intention of killing him. Gordon(2) ------C------(2)Lemmon more than four years, and in that time "I believe it is the wisdom of the St. Patrick then plucked from the E. Ketchel ------G ------(2) Curtis earned $3,000. For one period of 41 thotful man that counts in a crisis. So green on which he was standing, a Roberts ------C. ------Kinch months, he missed never a day's I think that our government with a few Substitutes—Smelter, Murphey for work. piece of Dutch clover, and showing it variations will withstand all the trials Downey. The third man to work his way thru to the Irish round about him, said: of autocracy and mobocracy.' "Is it any more strange that three Referee—M. E. Post. the College by carrying the Pacific Dr. Marvin was introduced by Dean Avenue route, Gardner says that a persons should be united in one God Morton. The Eatonville Red Men took the sec- young man could hardly find a more than it is for the three leaves of the ond game from the C. P. S. squad on effective way of earning money to en- clover to grow upon one stalk?" the college floor by an overwhelming able him to pursue his studies. This convinced his hearers; they Prof. Ransom Harvey on coming score of 39-1 7. The game was one- "Too many boys fail to realize," he gave him their confidence, and for into chapel late heard the choir sing- sided the whole time and the college says, "that carrying papers is a real many years St. Patrick lived and ing: "The year of jubilee has come; worked among them. return ye ransom sinners home!" Continued on P'age 7 Cdumn 2 Continued on page 3 Column 4 Page 2 THE TRAIL

BOYS' DORM GOES A' VISITING THE CONFESSIONS OF A FRESHMAN You, my gentle readers, have heard of my theme before, but be it as it may, As I looked forward to college I MASON & KLOPFENSTEIN, Inc, herein lies the untarnished truth, pub- liked to dream great dreams of the day lished broadcast to squelch the rumors when I should enter those venerable 1116 Pacific Ave. that tend to deteriorate our reputa halls of learning and show to an as- tion. It was after the basketball game; tonished academic world my eager and and I might say, after Clyde and Willie OW that the war is over style has insatiable thirst for knowledge. I ea- stepped back into is original dom- and Andy had bade their fond adieus gerly anticipated the time when I could mating position among men; clothes and were returned unto us, that our burn the 'midnight oil" poring over I long-cherished intent made itself mani- massive volumes of the learning of the are the first step in reconstruction. fest. Venturing forth on a cold night Every man who has served his ages. And as I dreamed, I registered in gymnasium apparel was at best a a deep and solemn oath that I would country in uniform must now serve business cool undertaking, but no ill effects re- never filch from fleeting time one soli- interests, and, to do so successfully, clothes sulted. Hence, why worry? Promptly tary moment in any frivolous pursuit. of a manly, correct and straight-up char- at 10:30 we were admitted to the halls Now as I look back on those fond of Sacajawea, but the halls contained acter must be worn. dreams, I have a sense of absolute no feminine inhabitants. After some failure. I know I should sit me down ten minutes of lusty articulations the by the streams of Babylon and weep Our Tailors at Fashion Park who were patter of little feet and rustle of ki- for the passing of my ideals, but when- commandeered by the Government when i monas warned us of impending inva- ever I do I can't help but think of those sions. One by one they appeared. was decided to put style into the uniform revels in insoluble pastry which have have sent us a' series of models which we Each by each they came into our mist, all but turned me into a dyspeptic and marvelling at our taste in apparel. Cis- copright E.thi.n P"I f can thoroughly recommend. gone are my regrets. When I think car was in the act of giving a Hawaiian of the hours of hard study which did presentation, when the inevitable hap- not materialize I am ready to shed bit- pened. Not being thoroughly acquaint- ter tears at my short-comings until I ed with the intricacies of bloomers and remember that "Five Point" show and middies, Lemmon took a deep breath, I have to laugh. and—! I think of the decisions I should have After several stunts, apples and a made for my life work and once again few songs, we took one of the many "ORIOLE" CHOCOLATES the fountains of the deep are broken hints that it was growing late, and de- up until some naughty spirit asks mc parted. how Dean Morton and Professor Har- vey would look if they had gone into HONOR MADE SWEETS THE SACAJAWEA the "Zeigfleld Follies" and I deluge No gift that you can bestow my grief in a bottle of pop. We, as Freshmen, are willing to ad- will bring a greater amount You have heard of good resolutions before, haven't you? Well, this is what mit—sadly, it is true—of this burial of happiness. A wedding or happened one night when every girl of these vain hopes. Yet we say with birthday present De Luxe. in the tribe had determined to study "Shakespeare," "When I was a child, or be good and go to bed real early: I spake as a child, and thot as a child; Yes, we were carrying out our reso- but now that I am a Freshman, I speak lutions also, but we did not make al- as a Soph., act as a Junior, and look BROWN & HALEY the part of a Senior." A lowance for the unexpected, which, on this evening, proved to be the annual During the past months, the Socie- j Oriole Candy Company invasion of the boys 'dormitory. But ties, together with Athletics, Debate, TACOMA. WASH. instead of the usual surprise pajama Y. M. and Y. W., have all felt the party, this year the boys appeared in added impulse of our hearty sympathy middies and bloomers. Very clever, and support. In the few short months we'll say. Now don't you think we left, we hope to make ourselves still ...... _ fl.01 were justified in forgetting our resolu- more an active factor in the promo- otins and having a good time? tioii of all that is good for dear old Ask Irish for an account of her trip C. P. S.—F. W. TheWashiDtonTool&HardwareCo. last Sunday. Do Rubenstein and Laura like can- EXTRA! ALL ABOUT THE BIG FEED dy? 0, no. HEADQUARTERS FOR We are relaxing somewhat si n c e 14 Cappy and Dolce have taken that State I case of pop. Manual Examination and we no longer 3 dozen cookies. BASEBALL SUPPLIES hear the entire school law quoted on 5 packages of gum. every occasion. 6 candy bars. 10th and Pacific Avenue We ought to tell you all the exciting 30 all-day suckers. things that have happened to Ruth this 7 bowls of clam chowder. week, but she went home for the week- I pie. end and fails to report any jokes on The above was consumed by seven herself! boys after losing a basketball game at Myra, Reta, and Effle have been good Pacific City, What would it have been (?) for once in their lives, so we let if they had won the game? BURNSIOEHATSHOP them off easy. The second basketball team of the Lois is always conspicuous by her College of Puget Sound, bptter known LOBAK 948 Pacific Avenue absence over the week-ends. during the basketballse son as the and Everett? Well she never did noth- scrubs decided that the ould like to Finishing ing, nohow! play some basketball g on their CAPS A Wonderful Line of We promise a real surprise for the own hook so scheduled one v .th Pacific The Best next "Trail." We are going to blos- City. CAPS CAPS som out socially. Everything ready, the silly seven- Anywhere Brady, Young, Burke, Magnuson, Sny- CAPS at $2.50 and $2.00 der, Williston and Yerkees—embarked I1SHAW SUPPLY CO., Inc. "Reed College Quest", Portland- One of our interesting exchanges. Your for the above-mentioned city. 1015 Pacific Ave. paper is well-edited. On the way out Burke was given Love's a naughty little rake, some gum, but thinking it was catnip Indeed, I think he's mostly fake! swallowed it and had to have some more. The seven almost lost one of its WASHINGTON His wanton pranks—you think they're cute? members when Magnuson tried to get Maker of a full line of DYE WORKS the conductor's job so as to get ac- I (Established 1911) He played on me—Oh, the brute! Bread, Cakes & Pastry 1 Life's such a mess! I'm all in a stew! quainted with the pretty girls on the 1124 South K St. We Call and Deliver I Love shot an arrow, but didn't shoot cars. Burke did not seem to be sus- Main 1818 1110 6th Av. Main 603 I two! ceptible to the charms, Yerkees was —"Reed College Quest." I lIUfliIMN N11 NM ,h} Continued on page 3 Column 4 THE TRAIL Page 3

PHILOMATHEAN CENTENARY CONVENTION HELD THINGS WE SHOULD LIKE TO 14 IN SEATTLE KNOW Pending the arrival of the date of our 14 .4 final debate, we are again working as Students and Faculty Attend in the last issue of "The Trail" we Miss Ruth Woods spent the last in the pre-war days. Our programs One of the great Centenary Conven- asked for information concerning the week-end at her home in Cle Elum. are all interesting and educational with tions, which are being held in all the Unperceived—Frank says it is Miss exactly the proper amount of humor. chief cities of the United States, was held in Seattle Monday and Tuesday, Wayne, and Miss Jeffers thinks it is The Student Volunteers of the Col- With the coming of spring, come the March and 4. From the beginning Miss Myers. From all 1 have heard I lege conducted the Epworth League memories of such annual occurrences 3 to the end it was one great success. am inclined to agree with Loyd. service at First M. E. Church last Sun- as launch parties, and other diversions. Seven representatives from the Col- Where Marion Myers acquired that day evening. Those taking part were Another spring event which we were lege were present. Those attending Headquarters pin, or rather how she Misses Mary Cochran, Hazel Brasslin, deprived of last year is "Campus Day." being Pres. Todd, Dean Morton, Dr. acquired it. Ruth Goulder, Mabel Amende, Thelma It is time to think about such things, Gambill, Prof. Martelle Davis, L o y d is Harold trying to make sure of Hastings, Helen Joliffe, Muriel Hover, and while we are thinking of it—Boost! Burk, Harry Gardner, and Marmaduke another pie the next time he goes to Florence Maddock, Paul Snyder, Leon Just to let you know we are alive, Dodsworth. Olympia? Bain, Carl Curtiss, Frank Williston, we suggest that we all boost together! The purpose of the Convention was What are we fellows going to do if Victor Ciscar, and Mrs. Martelle Davis. Then why not reinstate our annual programs, or Inter-Society programs? to thoroughly enlighten the ministers there are six girls who attend all the Truly, now, haven't you, who are of and laymen of the Puget Sound Con- basketball games? Give them each a The girls of the College have been the other societies, missed these pro- ference of the exact purpose, motive, pound box? invited to be the guests of the Y. M. ductions? We have, too. Especially and working plan of the coming Cen- Why does Kinch blush whenever you C. A. at their next Soldier-Sailor party so in the absence of other dramatic tenary campaign. look at the little finger of his right in the Y. M. C. A. down town. programs. The purpose of the campaign is, in hand? For the best interests of C. P. 5., short, as follows: Who thot of going to Ohio Wes- Rev. E. N. Askey was one of our for our Society, and for other Societies, I. A campaign to raise the ideals leyan first, F. or F.? Chapel speakers last week, giving an we wish to come back to some of these of the church at large in regards to if most of the "Frosh" have become excellent talk on "Vision." old customs. Bible reading and prayer, especially Baptists? 14 intercessary. The ideal being to get Paul Hanawalt was a welcome vis- every member to doing both daily. DR. HARVEY ARRANGES PROGRAM itor at the College one day last week. A campaign to get 53,000 young "The Martian", St. Martin's College FOR CONVENTION 114 people to dedicate themselves to some —You are always a welcome exchange! The College Girls' Quartet sang at form of Christian work as their life I would be true, for there are those that American Chemical Society of Seat- the Swedish Methodist Church last work. This number to be reached with- trust me; Sunday evening. tle was entertained by the Olympic in four years. I would be pure, for there are those Chemical Club of Tacoma last Satur- A campaign to get every Method- 1-4 that care; day. The program for the convention ist home to taking several different Miss Irene Doran was the guest of I would be strong, for there is much was arranged by Ramsom Harvey, pro- Christian magazines. The "World Out- her parents in Burlington last week- to suffer; fessor of Chemistry in the College. The look" being the particular one which end. I would be brave, for there is much program included a trip to the Smelter, they would have placed in every home. to dare; -14 where the visitors were shown the pro- This, with other features, is termed the I would be friend of all—the foe, the M i s s Reta Todd, Miss Winifred cess of smelting from the ore thru to educational campaign. friendless; Wayne, Miss Maurine Martin, and Miss the refined copper. Dinner was later Finally there is to be a campaign I would be giving and forget the Lois Noble entertained the men in the served at the Peerless Grill for the forty on the stewardship of property. The gift; Convalescent Ward at Camp Lewis last guests. ideal being to get not less than one I would be humble, for I k n o w my Wednesday evening. At 7:15, the Society convened at million people in the Methodist church weakness; the Commercial Club rooms. A talk to tithing. The specific tast being to I would look up, and laugh and love was given by Dr. H. Hazeltine, presi- have $1 05,000,000.00 pledged for mis- H. C. S. and lift. dent of Western Rubber Company of sionary and reconstruction work before —"The Martian," Wednesday evening, March 1 2th, the Tacoma, on "Chemistry of Colloids May I, 1919. This amount is to be H. C. S. Society held their first program and the Rubber Industry." A round distributed between the foreign mis- meeting. table discussion followed on the rubber sionary, home missionary and recon- The topic under discussion for the industry. struction work. $40,000,000.00 to the STUDENT EARNS NEARLY $3,000 evening was "Native Religions of the Dr. Hazeltine explained the structure first; $40,000,000.00 to the second; Continued from page Hawaiian Islands, Philippine Islands of rubber as composed of two substanc- and $25,000,000.00 to the last. This job. Too many fail to put pep, prompt- and China." Mr. H. A. Magnuson, es. One is an albumenoid substance ar- amount is to be paid in five annual ness and courtesy in the right propor- who has spent considerable time in ranged in a meshwork of fibres. This installments of $21,000,000.00 each. tion to win the game. these three countries, led the discus- forms in the crude rubber after it comes The motive was to start a movement "I have taken a delight—with a Ted- sion, giving a very interesting as well as from the tree on exposure to the air. to more adequately prepare the way dy emphasis on the 'de'—in delivering instructive talk. The other substance is cachaoun, which for carrying out Christ's last great in- my papers. I have walked—or run- Mr. Magnuson's talk was based solely fills in the spaces between the fibres. junction. over 10,500 miles at the job of deliv- upon personal observation and experi- This Cachaoun can be synthesized by The working play was shown to be ering over 568,000 papers. I have taken ence. In conclusion, he stated: a polymerization of aspirin. All syn- exceedingly simple, an account of each paper I took out "China today offers a more fertile thetic rubber must have some natural The convention w a s attended by each day and the money taken in, as field for the missionary than ever be- rubber put with it to furnish the fibre. practically every minister of the Puget well as the bills paid, and I consider it fore in the history of that country. The The Cachaoun can be made artificially. Sound Conference and by a very large a neat little record." missionaries which the various Chris- The grade of rubber depends upon the number of lay men and women. Mr. Gardner has not confined all his tian denominations have sent to China amount and nature of the filler. If a If space would allow we should like energies to his newspaper route and are doing a splendid and commendable large amount of filler is used, the rub- to tell you something of each of the church work, either. He has been a work, but they are but a drop in the ber will not last so long. The nature speakers and their message. But since leader in student life also, and is now bucket. China is an immense country of the filler depends upon the service that cannot be, we shall tell you their chairman of debate and oratory in the with an enormous population, and the to which the rubber is to be subjected. names: W. E. Doughty, C. S. aWrd, College. missionaries now on the ground can Neolin rubber soles last about twice as Christian F. Rejsner, the man credited serve but . small minority. What we long as other soles and the Western with having spoken more in New York need to do is to send more, and after Rubber Company has produced a sole City in the past nine years than any EXTRA! ALL ABOUT THE BiG FEED that, still -e. China, to my mind, which they claim will last as long again other man, John W. Hancher, E. L. Continued from page 2 is a cou - which should receive the as the Neolin. This is partially a syn- Mills, W. A. Brown, and Fred B. Sheets. undivided attention and sympathetic thetic product, according to Dr. Hazel- The atmosphere of the convention too young for anything of the kind, consideratio nof the entire Christian tine. was one of honest inquiry, prayer and Young was too indifferent, Williston world, for the christianization of her faith. and Snyder were blinded to all such vast hordes will be an important fac- ASTRONOMY CLASS HAVE The key-note of the whole series of things by thoughts of loved ones at tor in making for a future peaceful INTERESTING SESSIONS meetings seemed to be an adequate home. world program to carry the gospel to the ends The team arrived at Pacific City and Being fortunate in having men in its The Astronomy Class has been scold- of the earth. lost the game by a score of 29-19. organization who have had experience ing the Weather Man vehemently lately The hopeful and significant note was Burke did not play, but was the sub- in many fields of work and activities for he has interfered with good obser- that the church is awaking to her obli- stitute, yell-leader, time-keeper, score- of life, the H. C. S. Society intends, vation work. The class held one fas- gation and opportunity to the working keeper and audience. Due to a cer- for the next weeks, to have programs cinating session on the home-trip from man. Bolshevism was repeatedly in- tain young lady he forgot most of his based upon personal experiences of at Olympia, when Prof. Francis Hanawalt terpreted as a spiritual movement to- duties. least one of its members. Visitors are met his members, on the upper deck ward a much-needed but unknown goal. After the game, the silly seven de- cordially invited to attend these pro- of the "Atalanta" for observation and If you have any further interest in voured the above list of indigestible grams, for they will deal with the vital star-counting. They all report a fine what was accomplished ask any of the articles and then endeavored to get a points of life and should be of interest. time, representatives above-named. night's rest, Page 4 THE TRAIL

Hic Facet John Barleycorn THE DAY IN AMERICA

THE TRAIL The following poem written by Dr. It is just ISO years ago that the first Foster and which he read to the stu- celebration of St. Patricks Day in THE TRAIL dent body was of such interest that it is published every two weeks during the school year America of which we have any account by the students of the College of Puget Sound. is being printed here by request. was held. On March 17, 1737, there was founded in Boston, the Charitable Editor-in-Chief ...... VERA J. SINCLAIR Here lies John Barleycorn at last; Irish Society for the relief of the poor His day is done, his life is past; Business Manager ...... LOYD L. BURK and indigent Irishmen reduced by sick- And al his minions stand aghast ness, shipwreck, old age or other in- Ass't. Business Manager ...... FRANK WILLISTON His funeral to see. firmities, and since then many similar STAFF EDITORS He died because he caught the "flu"; societies with equally good aims have Associate ...... GLADYS MOE Was shot with death-pains through and been founded. News ...... HAROLD YOUNG through You may see on St. Patrick's Day That killed his bottle-bums and crew Athletics ...... FIELDING LEMMON the members of these societies wearing Music ...... MARION MYERS In every whiskey town. their green sashes, as well as the mem- Personals ...... MAURINE MARTIN bers of societies which have to do with The states took up the legal fight; politics, all marching in the many pro- Exchange and Circulation ...... HILDUR CRONQUIST And knowing they were in the right cessions on that day. In the evening Consulting Editor ...... PROF. GEORGIA RENEAU They put his henchmen into flight there are dinners and much dancing The first round in the bout. and jollity, as the Irish believe that the Entered at the post-office at Tacoma, Washington, as second-class Now in the Constitution stands celebration of this day aids to promote matter. A law that meets the high demands, good fellowship and to keep up old ac- Subscription Rates $2.00 per college year. Per issue 15c. And sends him from these noble lands quaintance, besides helping forward the A culprit down and out. cause of charity. Among other early references to the EDITORIALS- ing The T i in e s that has splendidly Go, bloody monster, to your tomb; day in American history, there is an equipped him for the ministry. THE HOME-MARCHING SPIRIT Go to the deepest, darkest gloom; interesting account of a celebration of The man who has the grit to work Go to the rayless, hopeless doom, St. Patrick's Day in Philadelphia, in his way thru college carrying papers We are glad for the opportunity Your own allotted place. 1778, when the British soldiers were in will have the grit to whip the devil to welcome home our men returning There gather round you kith and kin this country. Two years earlier the from his flock. now to C. P. S. We are happy and The men of foul intent and sin, British evacuated Boston on St. Pat- As a carrier, Gardner was hatless, proud to see them in our halls again. And there forever revel in rick's Day, and the Americans marched often on the run; he says he tried to They will be a source of inspiration One measureless disgrace. in and took possession. On that occas- be as wide-awake, snappy, and prompt to us. For they have learned to forget ion, General Washington in the camp as The Times itself. life that they might steel themselves You robbed the widow of her son; at Cambridge gave "Boston" as the It is just those qualities he will find to meet death, and so have become life's You broke your contracts one by one; password for the day, with "St. Pat- most useful in the ministry, for Evil masters. They have come back with And never left a thing undone rick" for the countersign. is wide-awake, snappy and prompt, and a new religion which will not express Where there was hope of gain. to best it, the minister has to be just a itself in words. It is an inner religion You practiced long your brag and bluff little more so. which speaks thru them. The lesson5 And claimed that you possessed the The good Lord needs more of these I Come in and hear they have learned cannot be forgotten "stuff" wide- awake, snappy, prompt young • THE LATEST SONGS by them, and these lessons will now To buy up men and states enough business men in His churches. be shared with us. To rule the whole domain. —The Tacoma Daily Times. LITTLE SONG SHOP The voice of the student body be- 1103 Broadway comes just a bit deeper and thrills with But now at last you're down and out; gratitude and prido when welcoming We put your impious brood to rout; Students wishing to submit manu- home these men. And caused the most triumphant shout scripts for the fourth annual volume of I.-- 14 That ever came this way. - 0. W. WINKELPLECK the COLLEGE ANTHOLOGY OF PO- ST. PATRICK A thousand peons o'er your grave; Succeisor to ETRY and for the second annual col- Then a thousand shouts we gladly gave; 0. V. DARROW St. Patrick, the saint dearest to all lection of the BEST COLLEGE SHORT A million banners wildly wave College Confectionery Irish people. One remarkable thing STORIES are requested to send their Because you're down today. Will continue with same line of goods about him is that he lived so long ago work not later than May 1st, 1919, as before with addition of Drugs and Patent Medicines that no one knows when or where he to Henry T. Schnittkind, Ph. D., in j was born. But after all, that is a small care of The Stratford Company, 32 Your "bootlegs" did not help one bit; matter. For he is known for what he Oliver Street, Boston, Mass. Your "speakeasies" also had to quit; did. Your "joints" and high-balls" had to Drugs and School Supplies The siprit of the saint is shown thru git all accounts of his life, and many of Your "blind-pigs" lost their squeal; To the Shamrock these stories, whether legendary or true The snowflake ballots laid you out; The plant that blooms forever, HICKS DRUG COMPANY contain the germ of true Christianity. The women helped to start the rout; With the rose combined, For Patrick, after living as a sI a v e And soldier voters without doubt And the thistle twined, Phone M-6 Cor. "K" & 6th Ave. among the Irish p e o p 1 e for several Made you to feel their steel. Defy the strength of foes to sever. years and learning their language and customs, he longed to make them Chris- Firm be the triple league they form, Our people now are buying shoes tians like his own people. So, after And cutting out your rotten booze; escaping from his master, he returned Despite all change of weather; Doughnuts and Cakes In sunshine, darkness, calm, or storm, And feeling they can never lose to Rome, and studied and planned to By paying honest bills. make good refreshments Still may they fondly grow together! I fit himself for this great work. And You tried to fool us all the time; for all occasions. with a high vision, he returned to Ire- You saddled on us grief and crime; We make the best land to battle against the native Druid And gave us filth and stench and grime Main 53 2412 6th Av. The Shamrock I priests to make Ireland a Christian na- And multitudes of ills. Thru Erin's Isle, tion. Oh, for more modern St. Patricks! To sport awhile, As Love and Valor wandered, We've had enough of cheek and chin; 3 . Of bloat and blear and dev'lish grin; WIDE-AWAKE AND PROMPT With wit, the sprite, From all your hated kith and kin When destiny recruits for the minis- Whose quiver bright A thousand arrows squandered; And progeny of shame. try from the ranks of hustling young Go, hated, hounded, villain, GO! working men, then the pulpit gains a Whene'er they pass, We wish you'd left us long ago; real and vital force for good. A man A triple grass We shy these epithets to show Main 53 2412 Sixth Ave. who has won his way thru college by Shoots up with dew-drops streaming; We hate your very name. hard plugging to a pastorate is bound As softly green to bring his flock the flame of inspira- As emerald's seen Thru purest crystal gleaming! tion. Take all saloons and bottles, too; Good Values in Substantial On first thot it seems hardly rea- 09 Your sourmash and filthy brew; sonable that "carrying" a newspaper The "suitcase that belongs to you," FOOTWEAR route would fit a man for the ministry, Oh, the Shamrock, the green, immortal And keep them out of sight. For Spring yet it is the determination, zeal, earn- Shamrock! Farewell, old sanguinary boss; I at estness of purpose and high aim that Chosen leaf No one will feel the slightest loss; HEDBERG BROS. kept Harry E. Gardner plugging away Of bard and chief Because the Styx you had to cross, 1140 Broadway at the ordinarily prosaic task of deliver- Old Erin's native Shamrock. John Barleycorn, GOOD NIGHT! 4. THE TRAIL Page 5

CHOW! CHOW! CHOW! MANDARIN CAFE 911 Pacific Avenue. Opposite Victory Theatre

NOODLES -CHOP SUEY------AMERICAN DISHES Y. T. LEM, Prop. Student C. P. S.

SAY, FELLOWS, I have done Full Line Hardware I your barbering for eight years. = Come again. - and JAMES T. COFFMAN Electrical Apparatus also 2409 SIXTH AVENUE Athletic Goods F. C. JONAS & SON Main 2899 C. W. ROWELL, Grocer 2503 Sixth Ave.

Ten Years in Same Location

2411 Sixth Ave. Main 337 A. A. HINZ

- __-4 FLORIST and DECORATOR

Corner of K and So. 7th Streets Best Ice Cream and Candies Phone Main 2655 CHOCOLATE SHOP BOYS IN THE SERVICE I'd spend a few days w:th that Austrian crew Vincent Hart, a former student, who 908 Bdwy, Tacoma Theatre Bldg. And young Carl hinisrif I'd put down is with the 74th Engineers, landed at for a chew. Newport News Tuesday. He is ex- There'd be no meatless days for this pected home soon, and may resume cootie, I know; his work hare at the College. They'd all get one jelly good strafing I' Jewelers or so, Engraeers .;. Miss Olive Brown has been enjoying For if I were a cootie I'd deem it my Watchmakers a visit from her brother, Earl Brown, duty \ARTS/ Advettisiat Bartncrs a .Sec'ialiy who is in the navy and stationed on the To thus treat their damships. "Marblehead." He was here on a 10- Ah, oui! Established 1889 4th Floor Nat. Bank Tac. Bldg. day furlough. - TACOMA -4 MUSIC WANTED "Weekly Messenger", Bellingham- SEEN FROM TEE. LIBRARY We enjoy your paper. Your poems For a First Class Shave or Haircut Here is a meritorious song t h a show merit, but we like them better go to the WINDOW strikes us right on the funny-bnne. It when they are scattered through the B. & B. BARBER SHOP was written by a Yank overseas, and Thru a straw—seveith bottle of pop papei than when they are all on a by him contributed to the Sters and about to be devoured bi Brady. literary page. Between "K" and "J" on 11th St. Stripes: Hong making a great sacrifice to "Many students do not realize the "The Shop with the Green Front" IF I WERE A COOTIE give a present to one of the fairer sex. enjoyable reading and helpful sugges- I heard him tell her only had 19 If I were a cootie (pro-ally, of course), Le tions to be found by looking into the left. I'd hie me away on a Potsdam-bound exchange copies in the library. Find Several people who i1ink they know horse, out what other students write about; who I am, even giving a girl the credit And I'd seek out the kaiser (the war- compare stories and departments and A complete line of of writing my witticisxs—rather poor maddened cuss), war work projects of other schools. guess, I say. And I'd be a burn cootie if I didn't muss Then try to make our paper equal or SCHOOL SUPPLIES Seen with much disgs.st, two columns His imperial hide from his 1iead to his better by a strong poem, or a spicy Watennan Ideal Fountain toe! started in last editior of "Trail" and joke, and help the Messenger forge He might hide from the bimbs, but I'd patterned after this oir. ahead." Pens give him no show! Burk trying to find some more "In' If I were a cootie, I'd deem it my duty separables"—notice the napkin rings Who was the girl Paul Snyder was To thus treet the kaiser. at the Dorm, for suggestions, Burk. with Tuesday night? Ah, oui! Clouds of smoke isiuing from the COLE - MARTIN CO. kitchen window of "The Den." Willie Cruver was seen making tracks for And after I'd thoroughly covered Bill's forgot to turn the lire out under the the Marriage License Window one day 926 Pacific Ave. area, beans. last week, I'd hasten away to the Prince of Ba- Seen thru transora - Anderson as •I'flflUflJ.INflUU.._iI_._ varia, one of the regular attendants of Am- Dr. Marvin: "What does it mean to And chew him a round or two—under phic. Why? There's a reason. Europeanize America?" RED CROSS DRUG CO. the Linden- A—, carefully treasuring Magnu- Miss King: "To civilize it." 1 6th and Prospect Then pack up my things and set out son's picture. 1 Pure Drugs and Fine for old Hinden Three boys gazing at the library Freshie: "What are you going to I Sundries, Prescriptions our (Old Hindy's the guy always talking window. Andy is so enraptured that school for?" specialty. 'bout "strafing"); he stubs his toe and mses an aesthetic Senior: "To improve my faculties, Phone M. 862 To think what I'd do to that b:rd sets fall. Look at the lawn at northeast of course." —u.—.---,—a—.'—I.—'.—_._.I_.__.._. I me laughing! corner of Ad. building and see the hole Freshie: "Urn—I thought teachers i If I were a cootie, I'd deem is my duty his proboscis made. were faculties." To thus treat the prince and old Hindy. Goodwin all alone in his Ford. Eyes Tested Right Ah, oui! 'Smatter Goodwin, has she gone back Dr. Marvin: "Is there anything in Glasses Fitted Right on you? which the Chinese surpass the Euro- Prices Right I'd ne'er get fed up on imperial gore- Some day I'll introdse myself. But peans?" CAS WELL OPTICAL CO. I might rest for a while, but i'd go as yet this remains F. Lemmon: "In eating with chop I I Cor. 9th and St. Helens Ave. back for more. BY THE UNPERCEIVED. sticks." I! Page 6 THE TRAIL

ANONYMOUS ATMOSPHERE PAPER NO. 2 "Yes, been gone for four days and "This is Mrs. Greeen." It is unbelievable! At least it should hasn't been heard of." "Oh, is this Mrs. Smith?" Sense & Nonsense—Paper No. I be so. that some people have a very "Mrs. Pope is nearly sick over the "It's funny you couldn't get me. I've AM "Seen from the Library Win- dilated understanding of the use of a affair." been here all the time and I've not been dow" has another rival. This time it Iibrary,—especially a library connected "No, I never did care much for Mr. using the phone much." is no Casual Observer. No, far from with an institution of learning. We Pope. I always had an idea that he "What is that?" it, Casual Observation is not thorough should not forget that our library must would do something like this someday." "Yes, wasn't that too bad?" enough for the college mind. Neither serve as an assembly room in which "I suppose she will go back and live "I think Mr. Pope is one of the is the range of vision from the Library students must prepare their lessons for with her mother now." most—" Window broad enough for the college the coming day. "Do you think that I ought to call "What? Home?" mind. Look in this space for minute A good student desires quietude up Mrs. Brown?" "How could he come home after observations and wide visions. We de- when studying and please do not forget "I think I will because she might all of this?" fy competition! that it annoys him exceedingly to have feel hurt if I didn't." "Hurt? In the city? How did that .4 the buzz of conversation continually "Well, goodbye." happen?" Where do we hear these- dinning in his ears and distracting him "And he couldn't get home? He "I thought I'd pass away." from his work. must not have wanted to, very bad." "For cat's sake." We all know that our library is a "Hello, is Mrs. Brown there?" "Went to the city four days ago—?' "Find out who writes "Seen from very cozy little room. But you people "Ohi is this this you Mrs. Brown?" "Was hurt—?" the Library Window" and tell her about who are addicted to and ensnared by 'I didn't recognie your voice. Have "And couldn't get home until to- that." romance should not think of the library you a cold?" day—?" in terms of coziness and make of it a "How are you and your family?" "Why, I heard that he had left his Whom does this refer to? common battle-ground in the ever-wag- "We are pretty well. I am a little wife and had gone away becausee they ing war of love. We certainly enjoy quarreled." "Oh, he was short, upset about an affair that happened watching you—that is, if we were not near here." "I didn't think it was so because Mr. And she was tall, studying—and tho you may whisper Pope always seemed to be such a nice He couldn't kiss her "Oh, it was the Popes." your words and phrases of future hap- man." Not at all. "You know Mr. and Mrs. Pope have piness, so that we may not hear, still "It must have been gossip." He tried and failed, not been getting along very well to- the beaming, healthy and glorified "It's a shame the way some ladies It made him madder, gether lately and about four days ago countenance of the young lady, and the get stories twisted." He went and bought they had a quarrel that ended in a fight earnest, love-lorn, entreating attitude "I knew that it was impossible that A new step ladder; and Mr. Pope left." of the young man, can do ought but Mr. Pope had left." The ladder worked, "Yes, it made Mrs. Pope sick. She "Something should be done to stop It was sure to please, dstract us. It may be that we are jeal- ous, and still it may be that we desire is almost a nervous wreck. She is all this gossip that is going around." He can kiss her now going to live with her mother now." "Yes, I must go to work, too. Good- With utmost ease," to study. But be that as it may, the "1 am not a bit surprised that this bye." —Fielding Lemmon. 14 fact remains that a library is a sacred happened. I have been expecting it C. P. S. has a new meaning. For place, a place of study and knowledge- to happen for a long time. Mr. Pope information, ask W. Wayne. gathering, and not a place in which to always looked like a bad one to me. 14 weave the web of future romance. "Student Opinion", Ellensburg—The I think Mrs. Pope is better off now." Seen at Parkland—? The writer would suggest that a winter scene on your March 5 issue "Somebody is trying to get the line made an attractive first page. We liked 14 more romantic place be chosen, that so we will have to stop talking. Good- Mr. Marvin (in History): "Every- the hour be changed to about 10 p. m., your letter from the former student in bye," thing would have been all right if and that you have it all over with be- Honolulu. George hadn't lost his head." Has Dr. fore you arrive in school the following Marvin heard of the radiator romance, morning. TABU, (Note: The third member of the THE UNPERCEIVED PERCEIVED too? "9 mystic trio of "Anonymous Atmo- Miss Unperceived, your secret work, M. E. FORD According to history, Cappy is a sphere was unable to contribute to Had best be done with care: "Young Reformer." this issue but will have an article next President "I've found you out," so Willie says, time.) "I've traced you to your lair, G. M. HARVEY My fountain pen is in my hand, You make remarks all innocent, My paper's on the table; Secretary-Treasurer GOSSIP And hide behind your smile; I thought I'd write another poem, 14 You sit among the pink sheet crowd, But find I am not able. "Yes, this is Mrs. Green." And listen all the while; WEST SIDE GROCERY CO. ' -4 "How are you?" The five point crowd, and Chocolate Incorporated Heard at the girls' dorm the other "You don't mean it." shop, evening: "I'm a little girl." "Well, who would have thought any- You never saw for fair, Grocers thing like that would have happened? The wrist watch, too, is pink sheet Phone Main 702 2802.4 6th Ave. LOST—Several girl's gym suits, I am sure I wouldn't have." stuff; ' -4 "Been away for four days?" To all who talk—BEWARE!" Notes from detecta—phone behind "Hasn't Mrs. Pope heard a word the piano. from him?" "That certainly is too bad, but then EVERYBODY BOOSTS Love me little, you never can tell what a man will Love me big, do." Love me like "This doesn't surprise me a bit, I've A little pig. been expecting this for a long time." OLYMPIC ICE CREAM "Well, I must call Mr8. Jones and Things inseparable- tell her about it." BECAUSE THEY LIKE IT "Seen from the Library Window" "Goodbye." and mince pie. 954 Court C "The Casual Observer" and p a s t "Hello, Mrs. Jones?" OLYMPIC ICE CREAM CO. tense wit. "Have you heard about the Pope Main 7919 affair?" The cook is making sausage. The "Mr. Pope has left his wife and gone PLAIN AND FANCY ICE CREAM FOR ALL OCCASIONS neighbors are missing their dogs. away. There has been trouble for "4 some time, I guess," Brady says: "The only difference be- "Yes, left her flat. Went away four tween an ordinary flea and a cootie is days ago and hasn't been heard of 4 that the cootie has had military train- since." ing." "I suppose I will have to call up Mrs. Students, one and all, Smith and tell her about this, she told PLJGET SOUND BANK & TRUST COMPANY We thank you for your kind atten- me about the scandal next door to her." I tion; "Goodbye." The writer may be large or small, But his name will ne'er be mentioned. "Mrs. Smith? This is Mrs. Green." / Interest Plus "4 "I thought I'd call up and tell you I So from this time henceforth this something new I heard." 0Io Human Interest I space will be written by the mysterious, "Well, Mr. and Mrs. Pope have been 3 the unfathomable, the bewilderer, the having trouble for some time and four "ALWAYS WILLING" unusual, the perplexer, days ago they had a bad quarrel and

TAKU. Mr. Pope left." n.j...unn.I-fl--u-,t-II-fl--fl111-fl0-II--- • N N N - - THE TRAIL Page 7

STUDENT VOLUNTEERS went to Europe, for it sometimes means death; the same unselfishness, for it Do you think internationally? Can means forgetting self; the same love for you picture the lives of your world humanity, for it means sacrifice; and WHEN YOU WANT GOOD brothers and sisters in other countries? at home there must be the same appre- Can you have a keen desire to help ciation of the situation; the same de- PICTURES them when you do not know their sire to give of all we have for the ac- needs? Are you willing to let all your complishing of a purpose the limits of GOTO foreign representatives take all the res- which are the world. ponsibility? The East presents a vast opportunity India's caste system, her twenty- for constructive fighting, calling for all seven million widows, robbed of any types of leaders, whose ability, loyalty, Quality Service joy in life; Japan's labor laws which and bravery cannot be questioned and who are living examples of the per- allow small children to work twelve suasive, powerful life of Christ. There and fourteen hours a day, and the are enough of these men and women TOGRAPHER ruinous power of her Geisha girls; in the United States to fill every post China's footbinding, her high infant 99031 Tacoma Ave. of need in the East as well as in Europe mortality, the great number of suicides; —and the time of decision is upon South America's lack of female educa- some of you now. Special Rates to College Students tion; Korea's deadening influence or, It can no longer be the call of the womankind—these are s o in e of the East, or the call of the West. They things we ought to know, ought to have met and formed a world. Today U Ul- know so much about that we burn all who are honest answer a world call. with a desire to help all peoples break SHAW-KNIT HOSIERY away from evil traditions and customs Is known from Coast to Coast for its wonderful service, its which bind them. Old customs, false "Wesleyan", Nebraska—Your Soph- appearance and its reasonable price-35c, 3 for $1.00; traditions and customs w h i c h bind omore Issue was unusually clever. 40c, 2 for 75c. them. Old customs, false traditions DICKSON BROS. CO .-1120-22 Pacific Ave. followed thruout the ages, are to blame "Tempe Normal Student", Arizona- for so many evils. The whim of an We like the many pictures you use. 'I emperor who saw one of his women A good exchange! dance with her feet encased in tiny Thought for the Day golden liles and admired them decreed COMPLIMENTS Just to be tender, just to be true, that the generatons of women to come Just to be glad the whole day through, —OF- in China should hobble thru life. It is Just to be merciful, just to be mild, said that few men in China have seen Just to be trustful a little child; their mothers really w.alk Just to be good and kind and sweet, Rochester Clothing Company The men of southern Korea went Just to be helped with willing feet, out to wage war upon their enemies. I. Just to be cheery when things go wrong The women were left at home. Days Just to drive sadness away with a song. STEIN BLOCK CLOTHES—ROCHESTER HATS passed; the warriors did not return, —"Tempe Normal Student." and the wives and mothers were sure 1130 Pacific Avenue I they had been defeated. One night 11 "The Gateway", University of Al- the women heard the sound of an ad- 4. berta—Your editorials are especially vancing army. "It is the enemy," they I - - fl-tUII 4. said, "we must protect our homes and good. The "Gatewail" is a novel little our children." They donned their hus- department. NO NAME HATS bands old coats, seized the few weap- 19 over a multitude of heads and thoroughly please a like ons left behind and, looking like men, "The Nor'easter", Northeast High number of men at $5.00 and they're worth the price. started out to fight. It was not the School, Kansas City, Mo.—A high- DICKSON BROS. CO.-1120-22 Pacific Ave. enemy, but the husbands, victorious, grade paper. Especially interesting are returning. They saw their w o in e n your full-page "cuts" for the different • - dressed like men; their joy over success departments, your unusual "Applied turned to anger. Women dressed in A r t s and Science" department, and Headquarters for School Say It in Flowers men's clothing! No reasoning could y o u r "Speaking the Student Mind." explain away that dreadful fact. The Your cover design for the Christmas Text-books and School Supplies H. W. MANIKE "The College Florist" women were cursed, and made to wear issue with the explanation and history DRAWING SETS the coats always, but not as coats; the of it interested us very much. All Kinds of Holland Bulbs to garment was fastened around the head, Waterman's Ideal Fountain Send to Mother the sleeves dangling. Today, genera- "The Albright Bulletin", Albright Pens, Irving Pitt Loose Leaf tions after, the women of southern College, Myerstown, Pa.—Your Febru- Books, Cameras and Photo Korea go about disgraced by this coat ary issue lacked the good stories in Supplies veil attire, the result of their so-called which your other issues have abounded, MARKET sin. 14 J. F. VISELL CO. Fresh and Salt Meats These facts give us only a glimmer- "Weekly Index", Pacific University Fish of All Kinds in Season ing of the conditions existing in our fo- —You have a n e w s y little weekly. 114 So. 12th St. Main 7656 reign countries. They make us ask Phone Main 338 2604 6th Ày, Come again! "What is the cause?" and can we not answer "Ignorance"? If ignorance is the cause of the problem, then educa- 4' tion is its solution. But before we go H. D. BAKER & CO. BASKETBALL GAMES LIVELY Office Supplies out to educate or send others to repre- Office Requirements and Spe- Continued from page I sent us, we, too, need to be educated. I PIONEER BINDERY & PRINTING CO. cialties. Typewriters, all makes, We need to learn to think internation- boys had no chance at all. The weight I 947 Broadway 948 Commerce St. Rented and Repaired, ally. of the Eatonville players was what won 1007 A Street The political chaos of China and the the game for the C. P. S. Our boys t restlessness of Japan are making an un- were unable to buck up against them precedented opening for leadership. on such a small floor, What we have for them is a force so F. Heckle played the best game for Choicest of Flowers vital that it can only be transferred by the winner, and Anderson for the los- NEW BROWN SHOES human life. Christianity is not unreal ers. to them. Its powers have already long The Eatonville bunch was given a Artistically Arranged for Young MEN and been shown in foreign countries. The feed after the game by the girls of the limits of its influence have been set college. Young WOMEN, are by the interest of men and women of The line-ups: HAYDEN-WATSON CO. to be found at our store. the so-called Christian countries who Eatonville(39) (17)C.P.S. have caught but half the vision. Ringsted(2) ------F ..... (1 3)Anderson Snappy Spring Styles are FLORISTS Those who go to the Orient with Van Eaton(lO) ------Brady now on display F. Heckle ------C------(4)Lemmon the desire to help in aiding these mil- Phone Main 300 The C. & G. BOOT Shop lions in making democracy and Chris- William ------G ------Curtis 938 Broadway 936 Broadway tianity a part of the home life must H. Hecklç ------G ------Kinch exhibit the same bravery as those who Referee—Hack Goodman. Page 8 THE TRAIL

CAMPUS PERSONALS- Senior: "No, but I've seen a cat fish, a horse fly, a clock run, a base Percy James: "Ignorance is bliss." bail, a pillow slip, a table spoon, a pig C. K.: "You look happy." iron, a rail fence, a ship spar, a peach 114 blossom and an automobile tire," The Advantage of Complete Stocks Who Wants to Know? This was found in the hail on a slip College p e s t s—Knockers; Sopho- FOR of paper. If the young lady or gentle- more dues; Lovers; Freshies; Library man who lost it wants the original copy, Loafers; A Few Girls; Society Bugs, Men Making Early Selections call at the "Trail" office: Please answer one of these questions. Quite a Coincidence IN "1. Does this coolness mean the end 'Rawley Jones?' Why that's my of our friendship? husband's pen name," said the lady of 2. Is this just a misunderstanding the house. NEW SPRING CLOTHING which can be straightened out with the "Ain't it funny," marveled the cook, consent of both parties concerned? "My husband has one, too. Up in the A showing that includes every good model favored for the coming pen they called him 'Glycerin George' season. Styles that are fully determined and a diversity of weaves Judge: "Your name?" —Ex. and patterns in the fabrics foremost in fashion. Swede: "Yohn Olson." "Married?" Name No Clue Of particular interest are the splendid patterns shown here in rich hand- "Yah, I have married." Having finished his meal, the diner finished worsteds—effective stripes, modest bankers' gray and nov- "Whom did you marry?" called for his check. elty mixtures in color combinations of rich, warm hues, "A woman." "Let's see," said the waiter, "what did you have?" "Fool, did you ever hear of anyone Tweeds, Cassimeres, Homespuns and Unfinished Worsteds have a liberal "Can't tell, for the life of me," was who didn't marry a woman?" representation in our display and the range of patterns is so varied the reply. "But what I ordered was "Yah, my sister, she married a man." that full exercise of individual taste is permitted; models that are minced chicken,."—Ex 14 distinctive in cut—i 4-inch back vents, accentuated waist seams, 14 Prof: "What is a cyclone?" fitted backs, slash pockets—all play a prominent part in the suits Caroline (r e I a t i n g experience): Freshie: "A cyclone is something that young men are choosing for early season wear. that starts from no where, has no par- "Really, for a time I was quite beside ticular place to go, but is in an awful myself." Other models for men of more sober tastes, of dignified style yet dis- hurry to get there." Jack: "You had a charming com- panion," tinctive in line; all correctly tailored and will meet every require- ment of fit, style and service. All sizes—plenty of styles, stouts He wanted to be sure first that she and slims. would make a competent wife, so he A Near Poet-ess asked: "Can you wash dishes?" All things come to the man who waits Priced ------$20.00 to $60.00 "Yes," she replied sweetly, "can you But here is a rule that's slicker; Broadway Floor wipe them. The man who goes for what he wants Ot Will get it all the quicker. If you see a joke or phrase That really makes you grin, We like the spirit of the colored sol- Inc Don't waste it all upon yourself; dier on the train to the seaboard who, Ahodes Brothers Cut it out and hand it in! when asked if he was on his way to France, promptly replied: "No, sah; Teacher: "Johnnie, I punish you be- I may stop a while in France, but Ise cause I love you." on mah way to Buhlin." Johnnie: "I wish I was big enough to return your love," We always know how happy we are not, but seldom how happy we are. Mildred Spear (to photographer) :"ls this the pleasant expression you want Hank: "Doctor, I'm feeling awful; ORVILLE GILBERT me to take?" I can't eat, I can't sleep, I—" DELICATESSEN Photographer: "Yes," Doctor: "I can cure you; ask her M. S.: "Well, hurry up. It hurts to marry you." my face." "One of our members lost his rea- Bakery Goods, Ice Cream, and Confectionery Monday in Economics son last night." Dr. Marvin: "Miss Darmer, what "How terrible! How did it happen?" Royal Ice Cream Products a Specialty do you think about this question we've "Why, he had one when he left the been discussing?" c I u b, but he forgot it before he got home." Miss Darmer opens her lips to speak M-2187 Tacoma, Wash. but Mr. Hong interrupts and answers the question for her. (Note: Mr. Hong "Here's a letter from Harry, my wasn't permitted to speak to a girl on brother," said Grace Rickman one day that day so he speaks for one.) last week, "He's just gone to Africa, you know, and he writes that within Dulce Bogee: "Wasn't that a hot twenty rods of his home there's a fam- time we had in math today?" ily of laughing hyenas." CHOCOLATE DRINKS Are a Feature at- M. C.: "Not for me! I went down "Well, isn't that nice!" returned Ber- to zero." tha Smith. "It's such a blessing to have pleasant neighbors." OUR FOUNTAIN Willie: "Pop, what are ancestors?" Father: "Well, I'm one of yours and General: "Well, what news?" your grandad is another." Private: "The enemy wanted to bor- OUR CANDIES - "As Sweet as they can be." Willie: "Oh, but why is it that row some cannon balls." folks brag about them?" General: "Did you let them have them?" SUN DRUG COMPANY H. H.: "I have been proposed to Private: "Sure. They promised to 6th and Anderson St. by an awful lot of men." send them back in the morning." Phone Main 646 Free Delivery 1. D.: "They must have been an • - - • 1- awful lot." Wherever you may be, Helen J.: "Ed, I saw a remarkable Whatever you may be doing, likeness of you the other day, Oh, please don't fail to see Ed.: "Where was that?" The beauties 'round you glowing. H. J.: "In a sardine can, you poor BITNEY & SON GROCERS fish." The mountain's rosy hue, The harbor's silvery sparkle, Freshie: "Have you ever seen a Are outward signs of inner joy watch spring, a watch box, a plank That reigns in Nature's temple. Main 735 Sprague and South 8th walk, or a banana stand?" —Harry S.

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