Vraja Rasa Bindu Tasting 1/10,000Th Part of a Drop of Vraja Nectar

Vraja Rasa Bindu Tasting 1/10,000th part of a drop of Vraja nectar

Remembrances of Hrsikesananda das (ACBSP: 1967)

Auspicious Invocations

“Others hearts are their minds, but my mind is Vrndavana, I know my mind and Vrndavana to be one.” ---Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu

“Of course anyone living in Vrndavana Dhama is fortunate, because the Dhama itself has it's own power.” ---Srila Prabhupada 13/11/72 Tape72-056/14/side B

krsnam smaran janam casya prestham nija-samihitam tat-tat-katha-ratas casau kuryad vasam vraje sada

“A devotee should always reside in the transcendental realm of Vraja and always engage in krsnam smaran janam casya prestham, the remembrance of Sri Krsna and His beloved associates. By following in the footsteps of such associates and by entering under their eternal guidance, one can acquire an intense desire to serve the Supreme Personality of Godhead.”---Srila Rupa Goswami (B.r.s., 1.2.294)

seva-sadhaka-rupena siddha-rupena catra hi tad-bhava-lipsuna karya vraja-lokanusaratah

“In the transcendental realm of Vraja (Vraja-dhama) one should serve the Supreme Lord, Sri Krsna, with a feeling similar to that of His associates, and one should place himself under the direct guidance of a particular associate of Krsna and should follow in his footsteps. This method is applicable both in the stage of sadhana (spiritual practices executed while in the stage of bondage) and in the stage of sadhya (God realization), when one is a siddha-purusa, or a spiritually perfect soul.”---Srila Rupa Goswami (B.r.s., 1.2.295)

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Sri Sri Radha-Krsnabhyam Namah Sri Sri Guru-Gaurangau Jayatah

Namo Om Visnu-padaya krsna-presthaya bhu-tale Srimate Bhaktivedanta-svamin iti namine

I offer my dandavat pranams to all the honey-bee-like devotees of H.D.G. Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. By the will of paramahamsa Srila Bhakti-siddhanta Saraswati Prabhupada, our “Swamiji” earned the exalted title, “Prabhupada,” which none of his Godbrothers would dare to touch.

I dedicate this book to the sacred memory of Srila Prabhupada's “bhajan- anandi” Godbrother,

Paramahamsa Akincana Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj

He was the delight of all the associates of the great Sarasvati Thakur. He was the favorite of his Godbrothers and he gave them all his laughing “Hare Krsna!”

In his exalted association I wandered all over the Land of Vraja for many years. Please excuse me if I mistakenly claim that once I even felt the glance of Srimati Radharani on my hidden soul. But again She has cast me out of the holy Vraja-dham and into the cesspool of material life and, which I must have desired.

Foreword

Please bear with me as I explain how I came to be one of the first Western born mleccha (foreigner) to ever become a Vraja-vasi (i.e., to live penniless in Vraja-dham many years, long enough to be accepted by the Vraja-vasis). The truth is that I am now most fallen from Vraja- dham, and even my desire to taste 1/10,000th part of a drop of Vraja nectar is a selfish one.

I first met devotees in Golden Gate Park during the “Summer of Love” 1967, the morning after I had deserted from the Army. I was already a vegetarian and something of a Buddhist. In Army training I was turned on to the Bhagavad-gita (Gita Press) by one deep soul. When the devotees finished chanting they all bowed down for a long time. I spoke to Hayagriva Prabhu and asked him “Do you meditate after chanting?” to which he replied, “the chant is the meditation!” Later that year H.H. Sri Mukunda Goswami took me to be initiated by Swamiji at Stinson Beach.

When I first met Swamiji I was surprised at how small he was. I reached out my hand and Swamiji shook it. Later the same day, after finally bowing down, I was given “Hari-nam” initiation and named Hrsikesa das. In Mayapur, 1973, Srila Prabhupada lengthened my name to Hrsikesananda das (I think I'm the only one?).

I told Swamiji about my fugitive status and he advised me to join him in Vrndavana. By the time I reached Old Delhi in Jan. 1968 Sri Swamiji had already returned to the West. But before learning about this, my first major ‘experience’ was finding “Chippiwada Kalan,” --- Swamiji’s Delhi address (printed inside the Bhagavatam which I carried). It was a needle in a haystack. What I finally found was dark, damp and very austere. There was an old lady praying before a Shiva-linga down-

5 stairs and a happy young Indian chap who informed me that, “Swamiji has gone to Vrndavana.”

Arriving from Mathura by tonga, I finally reached the other address mentioned in Srimad Bhagavatam: Sri Radha-Damodhar Mandir. An old goswami with thick glasses who spoke a little English said, “Swamiji has returned to America.” Wham! He advised me to take shelter of Swamiji’s Godbrother named Vana (Bon) Maharaj.

When I arrived at the Vana ashram (Bhajan-kutir), he also was absent. But I was allowed to stay provided I was careful with all the rules. If I would step on any devotee’s shadow they would bathe. I was a mleccha, a sahib. When Swami Vana finally returned, I told him I was a disciple of Swamiji, and I also told him about my fugitive status. He said I was welcome to stay and practice Krsna consciousness, but I must learn all the vaisnavata (Vaisnava etiquette) and join all the ceremonies.

I wrote a letter to America telling Swamiji about my situation. I never received a reply but was told by Vana Maharaj that news had come to him saying that I should stay with him and study. Thereafter, I never again heard any news from Swamiji. But within a few months I did receive a letter from the U.S. Embassy in Delhi addressed to my devotee name at Swami Vana’s ashram. The letter was an order for me to surrender for deportation to face US Army desertion charges. How they got my address is another story which is not important. With trembling hands I took the letter to Vana Maharaj, who advised me to burn it and then to do parikrama of Govardhana Hill.

At that time, paramahamsa Akincana Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj was staying at the ashram, “bhajan kutir’ which he did every year (for 3-4 months at a time) during the hot season. In the winter he was in Navadvipa. We slept on the roof together many summer nights, and he never went to sleep. Prayers, quiet bhajans and chanting all night long, every night. He was constantly laughing, and he would always say “Hare Krsna!” with the greatest exuberance I have ever witnessed. He was the most “Goswami” alike character. He looked just like you would imagine Sanatana or Rupa Goswami in Vraja to look like. He was the first devotee I ever witnessed who would weep flowing tears while leading kirtan without losing his voice. And he was the greatest kirtana leader in the universe! All the devotees within the various Gaudiya Mathas everywhere agreed that Lord Caitanya would personally join Babaji Maharaj’s kirtans. As long as he stayed at the ashram he always led the

6 kirtans starting at 4:30 am. He always played the mrdanga either in kirtan or alone while singing prayers before the Deities.

The Deities at bhajan-kutir were Lord Caitanya, Sri Govinda in the center, with Srimati Radharani on the other side. There were also Govardhana and Shalagram shilas worshipped daily with the central Deities. The puja standard was first-class. There were about 10-15 ashramites ranging in age from 18 – 80 years old. Everyone was either a brahmacari or sannyasi. Akincana Krsnadas was the only “Babaji” who ever stayed regularly at bhajan-kutir. In the daytime, after noon kirtana, Babaji Maharaj would go down into a cave room which Swami Vana had constructed. It was very cool in that room. So everyday Babaji Maharaj would spend the entire afternoon in the cave room chanting his mala; he also kept track of his rounds.

Babaji Maharaj didn’t seem to have any teeth. He was an old Bengali disciple of Saraswati Thakura’s who (it is rumored) went to live in seclusion at Haridwar after the disappearance of his Gurudeva. In any case, that was many, many years ago. He was about 70 years old when I first received his merciful glance. Making disciples was the farthest thing from his mind; and he never, ever criticized anyone. His only concern was chanting constantly; either kirtan or rounds. He would answer with a laughing “Hare Krsna!” any time anyone would speak to him. All the devotees were so glad when Babaji Maharaj would come to stay. Time for the “uttama” kirtans!

For “protection” I proceeded to Govardhana Mountain to perform circumambulation. By great good fortune I was accompanied by Babaji Maharaj who also wanted to visit Govardhana. On the way we stopped at Nandagram where we stayed for a week at Sanatana Goswami’s bhajan kutir (no electric, water, nor latrine). Begging “madhu-kari” from the local Vraja-vasis by proclaiming, “Radhe Syama!,” we passed our time in chanting and exploring the home of Nanda Maharaj. Babaji Maharaj didn’t speak anything (he only said “Hare Krsna!”), nor did I speak much Bengali, so our relationship was based on only saying “Hare Krsna!” to each other. I will tell you what I know about Nandagram later in the book; I returned many times to stay on the banks of Pavan-sarovar in the years that followed. I will also tell you about the time Nanda-lal stole half my milk, and how I was once bitten by a rabid dog during madhukari. There are many interesting lilas that describe “Nandeswar Parvat” and Pavan-sarovar Lake.

7 Next we proceeded to Varsana where I was introduced to Sriji Herself. But due to my “blunt material eyes” I could only see charming Deities. Such was my disqualification! We also stayed a few days at Man-mandir with a Siddha-purush known as Radha-charan Das Babaji. He was one of the most exalted souls I had ever met. I will tell you about “avadhut” Sri Radha-charan das and Varsana (and the secret garden, Gavarvan) later on. I will also tell you about Gavarvan’s “killer” monkey, the snake infested bhajan cave, kirtana with scorpions, and other nectar.

After many days we finally arrived at Mount Govardhana, but we got off the bus (at Babaji’s insistence) before the bus drove over the hill and on to the bus station. Exploring Syama Kunda and Radha Kunda with Babaji Maharaj is only a memory now, but my life will never be satisfied until I can re-taste the many understandings which I acquired from Vraja-dham in his association. This is the real reason for writing this small book. Early the next morning, after bathing in Syama & Radha kundas (head-first), we walked around Govardhana hill barefoot, carrying our bedding, chanting all the way. Sometimes Babaji Maharaj, while always chanting, would laugh out loud and other times he seemed morose like he was missing Krsna. Just like Srila Prabhupada, Babaji Maharaj never wasted a single moment without Krsna Consciousness. By evening we had completed the task and returned safely to Radha-kunda for the night. The next day we went back to Mathura by bus and onwards to Vrndavana by tonga.

There are so many amrta-like stories associated with Govardhana and the two kundas. I returned many times in the years that followed. Later, during another Govardhana parikrama with Babaji Maharaj, I am ashamed to confess I was chanting so poorly that he was forced to break his silence. I’ll tell you more about this incident and other, similar stories later.

Once I toured all over Vraja with a group of Bengali devotees, 100 strong, led by Babaji Maharaj and Vana Maharaj. For over a month we toured all the sacred places of Vraja and listened to their associated glories from the mouths of Babaji Maharaj, Ashram Maharaj and other associates of the great Saraswati Thakura. All that I can remember will come out in the course of this book. I only pray that I should not hold anything back out of fear of censure.

Life in bhajan-kutir was always the same. Sweeping the temple kirtana hall was considered the highest attainment by the simple devotees

8 there. Every morning we would be awakened by the blast of the conch. There was only one water-well so everyone took turns bathing according to seniority. This water-well was magic: In the Summer it was ice cold water but during the Winter steam would float off. The use of the toilets was a complex art which I eventually mastered (to the great relief of all the devotees).

I also want to tell you something about one devotee there. His name was Gopesa Prabhu, and although he was very expert in so many devotional activities, still he was Krsna's personal cook. Many times Gopesa Prabhu would forcefully serve out every last bit of prasadam to the hungry devotees without keeping any set aside for himself. Often he went hungry, but he always seemed to be transcendentally situated. I never once heard him complain about anything nor criticize anyone.

The level of Vaisnavata (Vaisnava etiquette) was first class. The devotees were always bowing down to each other all the time. At lease bending over to touch the ground and say “dandavat” The puja and aratis were “poetry in motion.” All thalis and pots were cleaned using dried grass, fine dirt, and a lota of water, which was handled using the wrists. Same for washing after the latrine: clean your hands with dirt and water. Brush your teeth with a neem twig. Apart from attending the ashram programs I still had ample time to discover all the holy spots in Vrndavana. The river Yamuna still flowed by Imli-tala and the ancient Madan Mohan temple, which was built by Sanatan Goswami. His original Madan Mohan Deity is now being worshipped in the hilly town of Karoli (a bus ride from Jaipur in Rajasthan), but allow me to describe that darshan later on.

Almost immediately I started getting frequently ill with amoebic dysentery and other stomach problems. Later in 1968, when I tagged along for the 50th anniversary of Srila Saraswati Thakura's starting the Gaudiya Mission in Mayapur, I offered obeisances to the feet of almost all of Prabhupada's Godbrothers, including H.H. Bhakti Vilas Tirtha Maharaj. On this occasion there was samkirtana with one hundred mrdangas and hundreds of thousands of devotees chanting around Sri Yoga-pith mandira. There was an ocean of Hari kirtana for days on end. I was the only mleccha present on this auspicious occasion.

But I also became so sick that I had to be carried across two rivers and placed into a hospital in Calcutta. In Vrndavana I was always in and out of the free Rama-Krsna Mission hospital. Later on I became so ill with ulcerative colitis that they wanted to surgically remove my colon.

9 But by the mercy of Srimati Radharani (and H.E. President Sri V.V. Giri) I was saved.

The great Vrndavana flood came in 1969. I remember sitting next to Madan Mohan temple and watching the huge thunder clouds coming. At one point it even looked like an atomic war starting in the distance. But I felt safe in Vrndavana, protected by Krsna's devotees. The floods that followed reached all the way to Loi Bazaar, and the ashram was five feet deep under water. Still, the water never entered the temple room.

Ashram life in the “bhajan-kurti” was VERY austere. No prasadam until 1-2 PM after the mid-day offering. Although transcendental by nature, the daily prasadam appeared to be cold, rubbery chapattis, watery dall full of rocks (and loads of chilies), and a bit of half-rotted vegetables collected free from the daily market in front of Vanke-Vehari temple. At night another offering was made and we had a bit more of the same type of prasad again. None of the devotees (including myself) had any money.

The Math was located on Madan-Mohan Ghera, the lane leading to Sri Madan-Mohan temple, etc. It is said that the Devine Couple, Radha and Krsna, pass down this lane every night on the way to Seva-kunja. It was very quiet in the ashram except for the repeated kirtans, and everyone spent their free time reading and chanting. Mostly I was able to roam the holy Dhama.

During this time I also had access to Swami Vana's IOP library which was a treasure house of Vaisnava literature. I found English translations of Sri Caitanya-Bhagavat (which was almost impossible to read without weeping), the Govinda-bhasya commentary on the Vedanta Sutras, and many more rare books. I gathered a few gems from these sources which helped me begin to understands the meaning of the Dhama. Kindly allow me to present a brief explanation of the holy Dhama, which I hope may serve as a Vedantic introduction to this small book.

NOTE: The following introduction was compiled after a study of Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana's “Govinda-bhasya” commentery on the Vedanta sutras…

The Vaisnava Concept of Dhama

The Sanskrit etymology of the word dhama traces the term to dha, which means “prime support” and also “to nurture.” The suffix man creates dhaman, denoting loka, or the residence of God. The Supreme Lord alone is the prime support and nurture for all spiritual existences, and therefore His dhama is the eternal home and goal of all living beings.

Vaisnavas further define dhama as Vaikuntha, or that transcendental place beyond all the limitations and misery of the material world of birth and death. Dhama is completely different from mundane existence, both gross and subtle, because it is a limitless, supra-mundane reality utterly beyond the power of maya. Dhama is identical in nature with the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Thus we hear in the Mundaka- upanisad (III.3.7),

yah sarvajnah sarva-vidyasyaisa mahima bhuvi divye brahma-pure hyesa vyomnyatma pratisthitah

“The Supreme Self, who is all-wise, omniscient, and whose glory is pervertedly reflected in the mundane world, resides eternally in the divine city of Brahman, within the great vacuum.”

(Vyoma literally means “vacuum,” according to the Visvakosa Sanskrit dictionary, and as Vaisnavas we were somewhat hesitant to use this translation because of its suggestion that the kingdom of God is merely some kind of void. However, we can understand that the Upanisad used the term vyoma to erase completely any hint of materiality in relation to the Supreme Lord's personal realm, or dhama.)

Grammatically, vyoma is in the locative case, and thus it literally 'locates' the kingdom of God in a place perfectly free of all matter. This accords with our Vaisnava understanding that the personal realm of the Supreme Godhead, Sri Krsna, is devoid of any material attributes, being a limitless eternal plane of spiritual existence wholly different from prakrti, or mundane nature. Divya-brahma-puri, in the above sloka, is the dhama itself, the transcendental abode of God, and it includes all His divine and glorious qualities, associates, paraphernalia, and pastimes. The holy and eternal kingdom of God, His sacred dhama, is therefore as worshipful as He is.

Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu has conclusively proved the fact that the Supreme Godhead's personal dhama is identical with the Lord's own completely spiritual nature. All material forms are reflections of activities and forms that take place in that divine realm. Everything in the spiritual world--persons, places objects, conditions, moods tastes, etc.-- are direct expansions of the Personality of Godhead, and thus they are inseparable parts and parcels of that holy dhama. Everything in the spiritual world exists for the unrestricted pleasure and happiness of God Himself. Non-Vaisnavas, relying on their own imperfect senses, cannot comprehend the actual nature and the activities of the supra-mundane dhama, and therefore they wrongly conclude that brahma-puri is either an allegorical realm or, even granting its eternal spiritual nature, that erroneous view of any transcendent al attributes and variegatedness. This erroneous view of Lord Krsna's dhama is refuted in many places by Vaisnava acaryas, as in the following sutra (aphorism) by Sri Dvaipayana Vedavyasa in the Vedanta-sutra (III, 3, 36)---antara-bhutagramavat svatmanah -- “In the kingdom of God, things look similar to that of any ordinary village in the material world, but they are actually different in essence. Self realized devotees of the Supreme Lord see this difference.”

Thus, self-realized devotees of God can actually see the holy dhama by the grace of the Supreme Lord, and such a spiritual vision permits the devotee to perceive and experience the sublime varieties of transcendental manifestations present there.

This spiritual variegatedness is non-different from the Lord Himself, and thus like Him the holy dhama is all-perfect and ever-fresh. Lord Brahma himself described the kingdom of God at the dawn of creation: “I worship that transcendental realm, known as Svetadvipa, where as loving consorts thee Laksmis in their unalloyed spiritual essence practice the amorous service of the Supreme Lord Krsna as their only

12 lover; where every tree is a transcendental purpose tree; where the soil is the purpose-gem, all water is nectar, and every word is a song; where every gait is a dance, the flute is the favorite attendant, the effulgence is full of transcendental bliss, and the supreme spiritual entities are all enjoyable and tasty: where numberless milk cows always emit transcendental oceans of milk; where there is eternal existence of transcendental time, which is ever-present and without past or future and hence is not subject to the quality of passing away even for the space of half a moment. That realm is known as Goloka only to a very few self- realized souls in this world.” (Brahma-samhita, V. 56).

In this Govinda-bhasya, Sri Baladeva Vidyabhusana has stated that the Supreme Godhead, Who is satyam jnanamanantam brahma, or the absolute embodiment of truth and knowledge, appears to His devotees in His original transcendental form, complete with hands, feet, and all attributes of personality. The devotee also sees the Lord's holy dhama as a perfect transcendental land sublimely complete with limitless varieties of birds, tree, waterfalls, and activity. Form Vaisnava commentaries we can understand that all this splendidly beautiful variety of activity emanates from Lord Sri Krsna. The Gopala-tapani Upanisad tells us in the passage, saksad brahma gopala-puri-hi, that “The city of Gopala, or the Supreme Lord Sri Krsna, is verily Brahman. “The Lord and His realm, in other words are identical in nature.

Each Vaisnava-acarya has revealed confidential aspects of the holy dhama. According to Sri Ramanujacarya and Sri Madhvacarya, the Supreme Lord as Sri Narayana resides eternally in Vaikuntha. Here the Lord portrays His majestic form, and thus He is worshiped by His devotees in the mood of reverential service, dasya-rati. Sri Nimbarka and Sri Vallabhacarya glorify the Personality of Godhead as Sri Krsna, residing in Goloka-dhama, where the predominating mood is prema- bhakti. It was Lord Sri Krsna Caitanya Mahaprabhu, however, who revealed the deepest secrets of prema-bhakti and the special glories of Vraja-dhama. It was He who revealed the ecstasy of intimate attachment to Lord Krsna which culminates in Srimati Radharani's mahabhava, and thus from Lord Caitanya we learn precisely how the sacred dhama directly assists in arranging for the loving relationships between the Divine Couple Sri Sri Radha and Krsna.

The philosophy of madhura-prema, as explained by Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, is based upon this concept of rasa-tattva, and it finds its highest and most confidential manifestation in Vraja-dhama. This concept is the crest jewel of all theology, and its brilliant facets have been

13 thoroughly analyzed by His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada in his books, particularly Sri Caitanya-caritamrta. From Srila Prabhupada's translations and commentaries we can understand beyond any doubt or misunderstanding that all the gradations and varieties of spiritual activity in the holy dhama are identical with Lord Krsna Himself although all the Lord's devotees and transcendental paraphernalia retain their individual identities. This concept of simultaneous transcendental similarity and difference is called acintya-bhedabheda-tattva, and it reveals the deepest understanding of Lord Krsna's supreme personality and pastimes, while also revealing the intimate role of Krsna's Vraja-dhama in rendering Him direct loving service. In this way, we can understand how each of the Lord's infinite abodes, and especially Vraja-dhama, exists to render Krsna transcendental loving service.

The dhama of the eternal Personality of Godhead is manifested with the Supreme Lord Himself and His associates whenever He chooses to appear in the material world. Because the dhama is not different from Krsna and exists to make the many wonderful arrangements necessary for satisfying the Lord's transcendental desires, yogamaya first manifested the dhama on this earthly planet before the advent of the Lord Himself. Although the Lord has since withdrawn His transcendental form from our view, the reflection of the Lord's personal abode has remained in the material world for those blessed with the spiritual vision needed to behold it in its spiritual glory and sweetness.

Sri Baladeva Vidyabhusana states in his Prameya-ratnavali (Para. XXVII):

prapance svatmakam lokam avatarya mahesvara avirbhavati tatreti matam brahmadi-sabdatah govinde saccindanande naradarakata yatha ajnair nirupyate tadvadhamni prakrta kila

“The Supreme Godhead first manifests His supra-mundane realm in the mundane world, and then He Himself makes His divine descent therein. But just as the ignorant fallen souls deluded by the forces of maya attribute mortal form and qualities to the Supreme Lord Govinda, who is in reality the absolute embodiment of truth, consciousness, and bliss, so also the Lord's dhama is misconceived by fallen souls to be a mundane place subject to laws of material nature--while in reality it is the eternal realm of the Supreme Autocratic Lord.”

14 There IS transcendental variety in the Lord's Nitya-lilas within the spiritual sky, both in the limitless Vaikunthas, as well as in the center of the Spiritual Sky, Goloka, Vraja-dham & Navadvipa-dham.

The 10 Offenses Against the Holy Dhama (Dhama-aparadha)

1. Contempt and disrespect towards the Guru who is the revealer of the Dhama to his disciples.

2. To think that that the holy Dhama is temporary.

3. To commit violence towards any of the residents of the holy Dhama or to any of the pilgrims who come there, or to think that they are ordinary people.

4. Performing mundane activities while living in the Dhama.

5. Earning money by and making a business of Deity worship and the chanting of the holy Name.

6. To think that the holy Dhama belongs to some mundane country or province, to think that the Dhama of the Lord is equal to a holy place connected with some demigod, or to attempt to measure the area of Dhama (which is elastic and can expand or contract by the will of Yoga-maya).

7. To commit sinful acts while residing in the Dhama.

8. To consider Vrndavana and Navadvipa to be different.

9. To blaspheme the Shastras which glorify the Dhama.

15 10. To be faithless and think that the glories of the Dhama are imaginary.

The earnest devotee who remembers to avoid these offences, and at the same time tries to cultivate devotion to the holy Dhama as an integral part of his developing Krsna consciousness, will surely experience transcendental pleasure.

According to Srila Prabhupada, “ Some-how-or-other fix up your mind on the feet of Krsna.”

Mathura

As Lord Krsna began His lila in Mathura let me begin here.

My first of many trips to Mathura usually revolved around (monthly then yearly) visit to the local immigration office. At first they were certain that I must be a C.I.D. agent spying on the spiritual assets of India. But as the years passed and my Hindi improved they changed their minds.

I'll never forget my first visit to Keshavaji Gaudiya Math and meeting H.H. Narayana Maharaj who is Prabhupada's Sannyas- brother. It was early in 1968. Narayana Maharaj took me to see Deities, and when he prostrated himself side-ways before the Lord I was so impressed with his great eloquence and finesse. To this day I have never witnessed a more beautiful dandavat pranam.

On my first visit to Krsna-janma-bhumi I was surprised to find a mosque. I was told it had been built long ago by Moslem conquerors using the same materials from the devastated temple. Entering a tunnel going under ground I came into the presence of Lord Krsna's nativity scene. It reminded me a bit of Christmas. Outside, beside Krsna's

16 mosque, was a huge construction site. A wealthy Indian named Jaya Dayal Dalmia, who later became my good friend and patron, was building a gigantic Krsna temple complex bigger than the old mosque. But this time they were using all new materials. The complex was also to house a free Ayurvedic clinic and many other services for the devotees. In all my years in Vraja I never saw this huge project get completed.

Nearby I was shown an old sunken kunda with a little water inside. According to the local Vrajabasis THIS was the actual site of Lord Krsna's appearance in Kamsa's prison, not the mosque. I have no idea whatever became of that old kunda, but I always wondered how they could pin-point the exact location of Krsna's appearance with such accuracy after 5,000 years. At lease it is certain that Mathura-mandala is the place of Krsna's divine manifestation.

On the trips to Mathura I also visited Visram-ghata on the Yamuna river bank. This sacred spot has many stories to tell. But I only know that Lord Krsna rested here after liberating Kamsa and Lord Varaha rested here after killing Hiranyaksa. I am so unfortunate that I never took a bath there, although I did drink some of the Yamuna water which I also sprinkled on my shaved head. I must admit that except for the places mentioned above I never really liked to visit Mathura. Although

Srila Rupa Goswami says that Mathura is superior to Vaikuntha, still it appeared to my mundane vision to be a vast, ugly market town. Not the same rasa as the rest of Vraja “nitya-lila.” Even Srila Jiva Goswami says in his Sat-sandrabhas that Mathura-mandala exists outside the spiritual dividing line encircling Krsna's eternal Vraja (Goloka) pastimes. In Mathura Lord Krsna was Avatar-Krsna (Narayana), but in Vraja He is Avatari-Krsna (Nanda-kumar), eternally at play.

Akrura Ghata

For all ISKCON devotees, the proper path to enter Vrndavana is via Bhaktivedanta Swami Marg. But when I first arrived in Vraja this sacred path was not yet established. The old route was the road from Mathura to Vrndavana by pony-drawn tongas. Half way down this road, nearly opposite the very grand Birla Mandir of Laksmi- Narayana, is a dirt road leading to Akrura Ghata. It is here at Akrura Ghata that Lord Krsna, Lord Balarama, and Akrura paused as they

17 rode to Mathura-mandala. The Transcendental sentiment of this sacred place is that of the Vraja-gopis, who were angry at Akrura for stealing Sri Krsna and Balarama away from them.

There is also a very subtle philosophical point to be understood from Krsna's pastime here at Akrura Ghata. This is revealed best by Srila Jiva Goswami in his Sat-sandarbhas, where he makes a careful distinction between 'avatar' Krsna and 'Avatari' Krsna---between, that is to say the Supreme Lord's Vishnu expansion and the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krsna, the cause of all causes. Avatara Krsna appears for the purpose of delivering the pious and annihilating the impious, but Avatari Krsna eternally enjoys his blissful loving relationship in Vraja-mandala without taking so much as a single step out of Vraja-dham: Vrndavanam parityajya kvacin naiva gacchati (Sri Caitanya-caritamrita, Antya-lila, Ch.1, Text 67). Thus, the aspect of Krsna's pastime here at Akrura-ghata which is most interesting philosophically is the fact that avatara Krsna appeared simultaneous with the disappearance of Avatari Krsna.

Srila Jiva Goswami explains this as follows: There exists a transcendental border around the Vraja area, between Vraja-dham and Mathura-mandal. Lord Sri Krsna, Svayam-Bhagavan, never passes beyond this line separating Vrndavana (Vraja) from Mathura. Therefore when Vasudeva carried baby Krsna to the safety of Nanda Maharaja and mother Yasoda he was actually carrying the Lord's Vishnu expansion. When Vasudeva reached this invisible transcendental boundary between the two villages of Vraja (Vrndavana) and Mathura, the Lord slipped out of his hands and into the raging water of the Yamuna River. When Vasudev picked up his little son from the water he now held Svayam-Bhagavan (Avatari) Sri Krsna Himself, in his hands, for all the Narayana expansions of the Lord had merged into the original Personality of Godhead.

The Krsna Who fell into the Yamuna River was Lord Narayana, but the Krsna Who emerged was Sri Nandanandana. One may finds several discussions of this facet of the Lord's Personality in Srila Prabhupada's merciful translation of Sri Caitanya-caritamrta.

All the while the Lord enjoyed His pastimes in Vrajabhumi, His Vishnu expansions remained merged within Him. Even when demons invaded Vrndavana, Krsna displayed His Narayana feature in dealing with them, and in this way He fully enjoys His loving relationships with the pure devotees of Vrndavana.

When Akrura took Krsna and Balarama to Mathura and paused midway to take bath and chant Gayatri, the transcendental transformation of the Supreme Lord from avatari Krsna to avatara Krsna took place again. As Akrura bathed, svayam bhagavan Krsna became unmanifest (residing eternally in the hearts of the Vrajavasis, lead by Radharani) and His Vishnu expansion emerged from His Supreme Personality and conducted the Lord's pastimes in Mathura, Dvaraka, etc. Therefore, Akrura-ghata is important, and at the small temple and lake here the pilgrim should pause and pay respect, followed by a bath (at lease a shira-snan) and chanting of Gayatri- mantra.

Samadhi of His Divine Grace Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

After entering Vraja one should proceed immediately to Bhaktivedanta Swami Mag in Vrndavana, and after bowing to sacred dust of Vraja, one should prostrate before Srila Prabhupada at his holy samadhi in Raman Reti. Regardless if one is a disciple or not, still first respects should be offered to Srila Prabhupada who has proved to be the greatest Vraja-vasi Vaisnava Jagat-Guru ever in the history of this Earth. Without the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, Krsna consciousness and Vraja-dham would still be the best-kept secret in the Universe. Because of his empowered preaching Srila Prabhupada made Lord Krsna and Vrndavana famous all over the world. Jaya Srila Prabhupada! At this point please allow me to honor Srila Prabhupada with an original poem:

A POEM TO SRILA PRABHUPADA

This poem is sung in “totak chandah”

Svaguror-upadesa mahargha-mani sirasa vidhrto hari-nama-dhani

Viharami janesv-amrtam vitaran bhava-parakarim taranim kathayan

Vrsabhanu sutanvita krsnamanum prajapan saphalam janayennu januh

Madhu-gopa-vane krpaya hi guroh phala-sancayakrd bhajan-akhya taroh

Gurudeva varo mama bhaktiyutah nigamannavidohi girah sa sutah

Kali-dharma iyam hari-nama-ratim parikirtanatah saphala bhavati

Iti tad-bhajanad gatavan pramadam pranamami sada prabhupada-padam

1) Svaguroh=own guru, upadesa=preaching, maha+argh=most valuable, mani=jewel, sirasa=by head, vidhrtah=carried, hari=Lord Hari, nama=Divine Name, dhani=rich with…

TRANSLATION: I am enriched by the advice of my Spiritual Master, which is the holy name of Hari, a most precious jewel that I carry on my head. (1)

2) viharami= moving around, janesu=in people, amrtam=nectar, vitaran=distributing, bhava=the world, parakari=cross over, taranim=boat, kathayan=teaching…

TRANSLATION: Now I will move around and distribute this nectar (of Hari nama) to people as if a boat that crosses over the worldly ocean of materialistic life. (2)

3) vrsabhanu=father of Srimate Radharani, suta=daughter, anvita=joined, krsnam=Lord Krsna, anum=after, prajapan =chanting, saphalam=success, janayet=carrying, nu=sure, januh=life…

TRANSLATION: Chanting the name of Radha, the daughter of Vrsabhanu, and that of Krsna, will surely carry our lives to success. (3)

4) madhu=honey, gopa=cowherders, vane=(Vrndavana) forest, krpaya=by grace, hi=sure, guroh=from spiritual master, phala=fruit (result), sancayakrd-collector or gather, bhajan=devotional service, akhya=known by, taroh=(of the) tree…

TRANSLATION: By my Gurudeva's grace I can surely collect the fruits (of bhakti) from the Vrndavana worship tree. (4)

5) gurudeva=Spiritual Master, varah=honorable, mama=my, bhaktiyutah=full with devotional service, nigamat=from the Vedas, avidohi=milking (like a cow), girah=speech, sa=that, sutah=Suta Goswami…

TRANSLATION: My most honorable spiritual master (Srila Prabhupada), is filled with bhakti, and he has milked the cow like Vedas of Suta by his speech. (5)

6) kali-dharma=religion of Kali age, iyam=this, hari=Lord Hari, nama=name, rati=affection, parikirtanatah=congregational chanting, saphala=success, bhavati=to be…

TRANSLATION: (Saying) The religion of the Kali age consists of having affection for congregational chanting the names of Lord Hari, which will bring all success. (6)

7) Iti=in this way, tat=by his, bhajanat=devotional, gatavan=vanished, pramadam=(my) laziness (I become active), pranamami=I bow, sada=always, prabhupada=His Divine Grace Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, padam=lotus feet…

TRANSLATION: I always bow down to the lotus feet of my spiritual master, (His Divine Grace Srila A. C. Bhaktivedanta Svami) Prabhupada, due to whose devotion my laziness has disappeared (7)

Eternal-time Asta-kaliya-nitya-lila

Now that we have crossed over into divya Vraja-dham (Goloka) I would like to switch into eternal-time (asta-kaliya-nitya-lila). If we switch over to Radha-Krsna's schedule then we can just follow them around the Dhama, and describe places as they come up. The version of asta-kaliya-nitya-lila, which is most bona fide for Gaudiya Vaisnavas, was composed by Paramahamsa Srila Krsnadas Kaviraja Goswami. It is essential, basic knowledge for any Rupanuga devotees. The following eight slokas are excerps from Srila Kaviraja Goswami classic, 'Govinda-Lilamrta,' and are named:

“Sri Radha-Krsnayoh Asta-kaliya-lila Smarana-mangala Storam”

“A sacred song of remembering the sports performed by Sri Radha and Krsna during the eight periods of the day.”

1. pratham-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the first period: (3:22 a.m. to 5:46 a.m.)

ratryante trastavrnderita bahuviravaibedhitau kirasari- paghairrhrdhyairapi sukhasayana dunthitau tau sakhibhih/ drstau hrstau tadatvoditarati-lalitau kakkhatigih sasamkau radhakrsnau satrsnavapi nija-nijadhamnyapta talpau smarami//

ratryante --at the close of night; trasta --afraid; vrnda --vrndadevi; irita urged; bahuviravai --with many chirping tunes; bodhitau --awakened;

22 kira saripaghai--by poems of parrots and mynas; api --also; sukhasayanat --from happy sleep; utthitau--got up; tau --they both; sakhibhih --by female friends; drstau--seen; hrstau --happy; tadatva -- of that time; udita-rati-lilatau --attractive on account of profound love; kakkhati-gih-sasamkau --suspicious about the voice pronounced by a she-monkey; radha-krsna--Radha and Krsna; api --also; satrsnau -- having desire; nija-nija-dhamni --in Their respective residences; apta- talpau --occupying the beds; smarami --I remember.

“I remember Radha and Krsna at the close of night. Vrnda, who was attending Them, was not happy at that moment, knowing that before dawn the Divine Couple would separate Themselves. However, she did her duty. She prompted the parrot and the myna to sing many pleasing songs. These songs awakened Radha and Krsna, who rose from Their bed of bliss. Their female friends observed Them looking very charming because of the deep love and affection They shared at that time. Both were suspicious about the voice of a she-monkey, and although They desired to continue Their mutual association They left that place for Their own residences, where They occupied Their own beds.”

Nidhu-vana

The first period of Radha-Krsna's Vraja-nitya-lila begins in Nidhu- vana, right in the heart of Vrndavana. It is a sub-vana within greater Vrndavana, and not far from Seva-kunja. At Nidhuvan all the arrangements are made by the most intimate lady friends of Srimati Radharani for the sleeping pastimes of the Divine Couple. When Radha and Krsna actually take rest, no one is allowed to witness Them. Only Radharani's closest associates participate in these very confidential activities here in Nidhu-van, and the nearest they can approach Radha and Krsna is to guard the gateway to the Area.

23 Also in Nidhu-van is the samadhi tomb of Haridasa, the great musician who would sing for God alone. I cannot calculate the good fortune of this Haridasa to have his samadhi in Nidhuvan. It is said about Haridasa that there was a great Mogul king who was so moved by the singing of his court musician that he praised him over and over again. But the singer could only glorify his guru, Haridasa, praising him as the greatest singer of devotional songs. Therefore the king wanted very much to hear his own musician's teacher, and so one time he came disguised to Nidhuvana where Haridasa meditated on the Supreme Lord and sang his devotional songs. With the King hiding, his court musician approached his teacher and asked to sing for him. But he made mistakes intentionally, and his guru naturally corrected him. This allowed the Mogul king to hear the celestial bhajanas of Haridas, and so he became very happy.

When the Divine Couple awaken from Their bed of bliss, Krsna then returns to his eternal home, Nandagram, while Radharani sneaks back to Her eternal home in Varsana. There they secretly occupy Their own beds. Although the material distance between Vrndavana, Nandagram and Varsana seems quite far, by the arrangement of Yoga- maya the Dhama (which is pure CHIT SHAKTI) is elastic, and can expand or contract to best serve Their Lordship's desires.

2. dvitiya-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the second period: (5:46 a.m. to 8:10 a.m.)

radham snata-vibhusitam vrajapayahutam sakhibhih prage tadgehe vihitannapanasvatam krsnavasesasanam/ krsnam buddhamavaptadhenusadanam nivyuda-go dohanam susnatam krtabhojanam sahacaraistam catha tam casrye//

radham --Radha; snata-vibhusitam --who had taken her bath and adorned Her person; vrajapaya ahutam --called by Yasoda; sakhibhih - -through female friends; prage --in the morning; tad-gehe --in Her house; vihitannapanasvanam --having prepared food and drink; krsnavasesasanam --who ate what was left by Krsna; krsnam --Krsna; buddham --who was awake; avaptadhenusadamnam --one who had reached the cowshed; nivyuda-go-dohanam --who had finished milking the cows; susnatam --who had taken a bath; krtabhojanam -- who had taken His meals; sahacaraih --along with His friends; tam -- Him; ca --and; atha --then; tam --Her; ca --and; ca --and; asraye -- I remember.

“I worship Radha and Krsna. Radharani had finished Her ablutions and ornamenting Her body when She was called for by Mother Yasoda early in the morning through Her friends, and there in her house She prepared food and drink. Upon awakening, Krsna went first to the cowshed and milked the cows, and then came home and took His bath, eating His meal in the company of His playmates Radha then took Her meal.”

This second period of Vraja-nitya-lila begins with Radharani at her eternal home, Varsana. This hill of Brahma (on both ends) is the most charming lila-stali tirtha in all of Vraja. The sacred crown of the hill is Sriji Mandira, the eternal home of King Vrsabhanu and his darling daughter Srimati Radharani, the Personification of Maha-bhava.

Varsana

The story goes that when the Vrajavasis left Gokula because of the trouble being caused by the demonic allies of Kamsa. Vrsabhanu Maharaj moved to Varsana. In any case Varsana is the eternal home of Radharani in the nitya-lila. I went to Varsana to stay with Radha- charan das Babaji Maharaj at Man-mandir on so many occasions that I lost count. The caranamrta and evening prasadam are particularly relishable for devotees of the Lord because it is during the evening Radharani prepares bhoga for Her beloved and sends it to Mother Yasoda in Nandagrama. She cooks for Krsna in Nandagram during the day, but at night She cooks bhoga for Him in Varsana, which is taken to Nandagrama by Tulasi-devi. Krsna's remnants are then brought back to Varsana, and there Radharani and Her friends enjoy this prasadam in great happiness.

25 Because this hill of Varsana is actually an incarnation of Lord Brahma, one should properly offer respect. Upon arrival at the steps to Sriji Mandira be sure to have plenty of Rs 1 notes for distribution among the Vraja-vasi kids. These Vrajavasi's are born in Vraja-Dham and they have deep faith in Radha-Krsna. Sometimes these Vraja- vasis can come on very playfully, but we must not commit a dham- aparada by feeling “pestered” by these locals. If one comes on the bus they will have a hard time proving that they are penniless Sannyasi- bhikshus. But if they actually are a penniless Sannyasi-bhikshus then the Vrajavasis will give them their remnants and feed them for the rest of their lives. You may need Rs 10 notes when you deal with the brahmana-priests up top.

There is a small hole in the ground at the top of the steps leading to Sriji Mandir. Ask for “Brahma-kupa” and any Vrajavasi can point out this hole. It is said to go all that way to Lord Brahma in the center of the mountain. Please make some kind of offering into this hole; but always remember that one is dealing directly with Lord Brahma when considering what to offer.

The Deities in the temple are very charming, especially Srimati Radharani. I can't remember that well, but I mostly felt so fallen at not completely recognizing Her Lordship. To my material vision I could only see a Sri Murti. I plan to make a return trip to Varsana during next Kartika 1995; hopefully in the sanga of H.H. Mukunda Goswami (who is a personification of Srila Prabhupada's humble desires) and H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaj, who is a living ocean of Hari katha.

Man-mandira

Behind the Sriji Mandira one can walk along the top of Varsana- hill to the far end. Along the path you will find many circular

26 platforms, called “rasa-mandalas” and sitting areas so Divine Couple have many places to rest. At the other end of Varsana hill is very sacred lila-sthali called “Man-mandira”---temple of anger.

Sri Radha-caran Das Babaji Maharaj,

Caretaker of Man-mandira (Temple of Anger) in Varsana for 42 years, accepts a gold-framed copy of Srimati Jadurani's greatest painting of the Divine Couple's eternal “Man-lila.” Kartika, 1995

I resided many times at Man-mandira, and I have a lot to tell about this eternal sthali. The temple of Man-mandira commemorates the site where Srimati Radharani became angry (man) with Krsna when She thought that He had been with another gopi. Lord Krsna pleaded with Lalita to pacify Radharani, but She refused to hear His plea.

Although I recently heard that Man-mandira has been greatly improved (including WC) by devotees of Radha-charan das (the caretaker for 42 years), during the years I resided there the temple was very rundown. A crumbling stone wall around a small shrine room. During my early stays they had a very small and rotted picture of “Man-lila” as the Deity; but later I discovered a larger, very charming picture of Man-lila, which I had framed and carried to Man-mandir. Immediately Sri Radha-charanji established this new “Chitra-vigraha” as the temple Deities. I felt that Srimati Radharani had so kindly accepted my little personal service to Vraja-Dham; I wonder if that Chitra-vigraha is still presiding there.

I would like to say something about Radha-charanji. By the direct arrangement of Sriji Herself this avadhuta-sadhu has been care-taker of Man-mandira in Varsana for over 42 years until now. He dresses only in a white kaupin and a blanket for winter. He is the personification of Vairagya. He always keeps shaved head (the Varsana kids shaved him). Although a very learned scholar who can speak perfect Sanskrit, English & Vraja-bhasa, still he never, ever

27 leaves Man-mandira, not even into Varsana. His daily engagement begins with a very early bath in Gavarvan's Krsna-kunda. Then he chants japa (Nimbarka-bead-bag style) all morning. Then he studies the Srimad-Bhagavatam in the afternoon. In the evening he always holds rip-roaring Vraja-bhasa sankirtanas with kids. I don't know how much about his back-ground because it seemed so out of place to ask about, with him in a state of total surrender to the eternal service of Srimati Radharani at Man-mandira.

As confirmed by H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaj recently, the very same Radha-charanji (Sri Rameshaji) still resides under the Feet of Radharani as caretaker of Man-mandira. I still consider Radha- charanji to be one of the greatest discoveries in Vraja-dhama this century.

On both sides of the small shrine are stone/mud rooms. One room leads to an ancient stairway that descends into the snake-infested bhajan cave-room. This room has many stories to tell, but its main attraction is a flat stone slab where Radha & Krsna sat during the Man-lila exchange. To the pure devotees this stone (which is crammed into a crack in the cave wall) grows blue on one side and golden on the other. When going down into this cave-room the Vrajavasi kids (who always stay close to Radha-charanji) will go first with lamp and bang sticks on stairs to scare away any deadly poisonous snakes. It's very nerve-wracking to perform bhajan in this cave because of the snakes and scorpions. I went to take darshan of the sacred stone slab many times, but of course my faith was too weak for me to witness its full glory.

Many saints have performed their bhajan in the cave room, and among them was a king from Rajasthan, the Vrajavasi story goes, who had been very miserly and sinful in his lifetime. When the king reached old age he heard that his son planned to kill him and take over the kingdom. Despondent upon hearing this news, the king realized how much his life had been wasted in sinful pursuits and how he should therefore surrender to Radha and Krsna. Renouncing everything and sneaking away from the palace, the king traveled alone and eventually came to this temple of Man-mandira, where he surrendered to Their Lordship. Thereafter he was heard to be chanting the holy names of the Lord constantly.

After many years of practice in this sadhana, the king had become highly enlightened. One day he dropped his japa-mala and picked up a

28 poisonous snake by mistake. The snake bit him on the finger, and seeing his life ebbing, the king emerged from the cave and went to the rasa-mandala, or the circular platform in the center of the courtyard built for Radha and Krsna. Standing on this platform he prayed to Srimati Radharani, “O Radhe, please take me! Please take me! Please take me!” With his arms outstretched, he saw that the virulent poison from the snakebite was leaving his body in drops from his finger. Astonished, but aware that this was Radharani's special mercy upon him, he entered his cave in great ecstasy and continued anew with his worship.

Although the poison had vanished, however, the wound itself had become infected, and in time it turned into a wormy, gangrenous sore inside and out. This made it practically impossible for him to chant the holy names of the Lord with his japa bead, and thus he counted his rounds in his mind. While still in this condition, a beautiful young gopi girl whose effulgence lit up the whole cave approached him and asked what was wrong with his arm. He told her what had happened, and thus she advised him to visit the village doctors. He was convinced, however, that Srimati Radharani was the only person who could save him, for if She could make the poison leave his body then She could also cure this infection very easily. The little girl nodded agreement at this nice display of faith in Radharani, and when the girl left he could understand that She was Srimati Radharani Herself. Inspecting his arm he saw that it was miraculously cured, but in feeling distraught that he had not immediately recognized Radharani when She personally came before him, he simple left his body then and there and returned home, back to Godhead.

As mentioned before, the care-taker of Man-mandira is a VERY grave and humble Vaisnava-sadhu named Radha-charan dasa Babaji. He always received alms from the Vraja-vasi boys who would bring him some roti & dall every evening. Whenever I was there he would always share his prasadam with whoever present, regardless of how small the quantity he received. I never saw him eat during the day.

When he had free time he would teach the Vraja-vasi boys how to wrestle (like Krsna & Balaram), and then they would all join him in ecstatic Vraja kirtana lasting hours each night. During the summer these nocturnal kirtanas would be held on the roof under the Vraja sky. Babaji would play a local kind of mrdanga and the others boys played other instruments. This is some of the best kirtana in all of Vraja-mandala…Radha-charan das leading the Varsana boys. Once I

29 took Achyutananda das, and another time, Jagadish das to hear this wonderful kirtan. Krsna Babaji also stayed there many times and seemed to know the words to all these Vraja-vasi kirtanas. Those were kirtans I'll never forget: Akincana Krsnadas and Radha-charan das Babajis with the Vrajavasi boys holding rousing kirtans on top of Man-mandira over looking Gavarvan and the star-filled Vraja night!!!

Once during these kirtans one of the Vrajavasi boys was stung by a scorpion. We all debated what to do about the pain, but then Radha- charanji suggested that we just continue the kirtans. So that tough little Vraja (Varsana) boy just carried on glorifying the Divine Couple and soon he recovered. Scorpions were worry at Man-mandira; they were always crawling around the walls. I'm talking about the small tan colored scorpions that have the strongest poison. On more than one occasion I awoke to find a scorpion on the wall behind my head checking me out.

The hill-top forest behind Man-mandir was the toilet. As H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaj just reminded me, during these early morning darkness outings we had to carry a lota of water in our right hand and a stick in the other to chase off cobras; they were all over Man-mandir (and especially in the bhajan cave). Somehow, in all my years there I was never bitten by anything.

From the gateway at Man-mandira are stone stairs descending through and into the sacred forest of Gavarvan.

Gavarvan

Gavarvan is the area between Man-mandira and Mayur-kutir with Krsna kunda in the center. Krsna kunda is a small bathing ghata where a lot of the Vrajavasis bathe every morning along with any sadhus. Gavarvan is a beautiful garden that was built, local tradition says, by

30 Srimati Radharani Herself for Her meeting with Krsna. This lovely bhajan is sung by local inhabitants:

“O Radhe! This wonderful garden of Gavarvan was built personally by You with Your own beautiful hands, and You are always amidst this garden thinking of Krsna. The footprints and dust of Your lotus feet are everywhere, and we only pray that we may be able to sweep this Gavarvan, not with ordinary brooms but with our eyelashes, that we may see all the more closely the dust of Your lotus feet.”

On one visit to Gavarvan around 1971 I was warned by the Vrajavasi kids and Radhacharan dasji about a big “killer monkey” who had gone beserk and was viciously attacking people every day. One of the sadhus at Man-mandir had been attacked and it looked more like the bite of a lion that a monkey. Some Vrajavasis came to ask Radha-charan permission to poison this dangerous beast, but he could not give his blessings.

Once, Radha-charanji himself was attacked by this killer monkey while bathing in Krsna Kunda, but he expertly wrestled the monkey down and it finally run away.

My close call with this Vraja monkey was also around the same time. I had finished my bath and gayatri at Krsna Kunda and was ready to walk back up the stairs to Man-mandira. The Vrajavasi kids (who seemed to really love this fallen soul) gave me along spear (a stick with one end sharpened) to carry with me for protection.

When I was about half way up I heard all the monkeys screaming and shaking the trees, and when I stopped to look around I saw the killer monkey bounding towards me at full speed. I just had time to raise my spear, which stopped the monkey in his tracks about 10 feet from me. He was twice as big as any monkey I ever saw anywhere in Vraja and he glared at me very menacingly

It had become a stand off, so slowly I started walking backwards up the stairs, and the monkey, with bared fangs, stayed right on me. Suddenly I heard all the Vrajavasi boys shouting in Vraja-bhasa, “we are coming, we are coming” as they started running up the stairs. The killer monkey looked at the boys and glared back at me, then he took off like a bolt of lightning.

31 So I continued on up stairs (shaking like a leaf). On my next visit to Gavarvan I heard that the Vrajavasis had gone ahead and finally poisoned the killer monkey of Varsana. I must say it was a great relief not to worry about being viciously attacked.

Mayur-kutir

Opposite Man-mandir on the other hill-side of Gavarvan stands Mayur-kutir, a small temple housing famous painting of Radha & Krsna's peacock dance, or Mayur-nitya-lila. After the pastime of being angry with Krsna, described above, Radharani retired to this place with her friends. Meditating on how to obtain Krsna's forgiveness and to dance with Him like a peacock and peahen. Happy to satisfy Her desires, Krsna flew to Her in the form of a beautiful transcendental peacock, and it was at this site that They performed Their enchanting Mayur-lila.

This temple houses a painting done by a self-realized saint who was specifically empowered to do so. He had been meditating very intensely on this peacock pastime, and one day in old age he was given a glimpse of this sacred lila by Radharani. He was overwhelmed with ecstasy but the Divine vision was suddenly taken away and he was plunged into despair. He prayed fervently, and one night Radharani appeared to him in a dream and told him, “I have shown you this wonderful pastime, but I shall not display it to you again unless you paint it.” The sadhu said that he knew nothing about the art of painting, but Radharani assured him that she would give him all the artistic ability that he needed. So in the morning he prepared some paints from various minerals and oils and herbs, and fashioned brush from a squirrel's tail. Seeing that he was faithful to Her request, Radharani displayed once more the transcendental pastime of the peacock dance, mayura-lila. Once more elevated to divine ecstasy, the sadhu began to paint this wonderful pastime. This eyewitness account of a loving pastime enjoyed by Radha and Krsna can be seen to this day.

This tirtha must be of great importance, especially for devotee artists like Srimati Jadurani Devi Dasi and so many others. I would always go to look at this painting (and chant some endless rounds) whenever I visited Varsana. I remember looking through the door at this exceptional masterpiece of spiritual vision. If only I could gain some of that vision. All the ISKCON artists of Srila Prabhupada are describing Krsna according to the Shastras and their own realization; as Srila Prabhupada said, “Window to the Spiritual World.”

Sankarikar Gali

Descending to Krsna kunda in Gavarvan, and walking counter- wise around Varsana Hill, one will reach the narrow path passing through Sankarikar-gali, a narrow valley, one side of which is composed of dark stone and the other side of golden stone. This valley is so narrow that people must pass single-file.

This is the very spot where Radharani and Her Sakhis pass on their way to Varsana for purpose of selling their milk products in the marketplace. As they file through this valley they meet Sri Krsna, who tells them that this valley and whole area of Vraja belong to Him and that they must pay an appropriate toll if they wish to continue their errand. Srimati Radharani refuse to pay the toll and Lalita argued Radharani's case before Krsna, while Madhumangala argues on Krsna's behalf. Lalita argues that Varsana is in Radharani's jurisdiction, but Madhumangala says that Krsna owns everything. The result is that Krsna breaks the pots of yoghurt and both He and cowherd boys steal the butter. Close by is a stone where Krsna placed His conchshell and wiped off the butter that had become smeared all over His hands.

(There are many other sacred tirthas in this area, including the villages of the eight principle sakhi associates of Srimati Radharani, and the devotee is advised to get the assistance of local guides for these sites).

(Nitya-lila…) Srimati Radharani adorns Herself in Varsana and goes with her friends to Nandagram to cook for Sri Govinda-Deva. Radha was given the benediction that anyone eating food personally cooked by her would never fall ill, and so upon hearing of this benediction from Narada Muni, Mother Yasoda made arrangements for Radharani to cook for Krsna every day.

During this time Sri Krsna is described as waking-up, milking the cows, taking His daily bath (with His friends) in Pavan-sarovar, and then eating His bhoga which is always prepared by Sriji Herself. All this takes place in Krsna's eternal home, Nandagram.

Nandagram

Sri Nandagram is such a special place that I hardly know where to begin. Let us start ate bottom. Below, at the feet of Nandiswara Parvat, is found the most austere “bhajan kutir” in all the world, Srila Sanatana Goswami's own bhajan-kutir. I used to keep a room there for performing bhajan during my many visits to Nanda Maharaja's Palace over six years.

Sanatana Goswami's bhajan-kutir

Located on the bank on the Pavan-sarovar is Sanatana Goswami's own place of worship. It is the most austere ashram I have ever visited. There were always a few Gaudiya Babajis staying there, and some were disciples of our Param-Gurudeva, Srila Sarasvati Thakura. No BODY spoke ANY English, so I got plenty of practice with my Bengali. There were no facilities of any kind. We were no facilities of any kind. We ate what the Vrajavasi's gave us, viz., Madhukari (like a honey bee taking a little nectar from each flower). Every day we would venture out to the village below the hill and shout. “Radhe

34 Syama.” Then we would each be given a small piece of roti stained with dall or matta left-over from the night before. We would gather these bits of Nandalal's Maha-prasadam right from the hands of His born associates, the Nandagram vasis.

Once I heard a story about and old Sadhu long ago who used to beg Madhukari in Nandagram. One day when he was tossed a small piece of stained roti, he just thought with his mind that this dwelling was a bit dirty. The next morning, when he returned to this Nandagram dwelling for alms, he was chased away by the gopi of the house for 'thinking' this place to be unclean. But just before running off he had a glimpse in the door and he saw Lord Krsna Himself joyfully taking bhoga with the other children. We all should know the meaning of Madhukari, which is only available from the born Vraja-vasi (as well born Navadvipa-vasis).

After returning to the bhajan-kutir we would soak these bits of stale rotis in lake water and crushed rock salt. After soaking for half a day we would all honor this special Prasadam, which had become a semi-digestable mush. You can just imagine what kind of faith it took to keep your health together here; more than I had by a long shot.

One day I ventured out with a couple Babajis to beg in the village when suddenly I was attacked and bitten on the leg by a rabid dog who was foaming at mouth. We went back to the Kutir and Babajis ground up some plants and put the pulp on the bite and covered it with a bandage made of banana leaf. But my faith was so weak that I soon returned to Vrndavana, where I underwent a 15 days series of daily rabies injections. They used the biggest needle on earth and injected this stuff into my stomach. It was so thick that it made a big lump under my skin. I had to hold hot sand in cloth on it for and hour in order to get it to spread out. I wonder how things might have turned out if I had just stayed in Nandagram like the Babajis advised?

It is interesting to note that on a recent visit to Nandagram, an old Babaji at Sanatana Goswami's bhajan-kutir still remembered this insignificant beggar from the old days. He had a good laugh on my account, now that I have gained weight and changed my ashram and color of cloth (“That's right Babaji, patithogya!”)

In the late 60s and early 70s there was one caretaker Babaji named Pavan Prabhu who was always looking after everybody else. Now they say he became a mad-man and left long ago. The bhajan-kutir'

35 Babaji remembered how I used to beg madhu-kari with them every day, and he also remembered I used to helped build Nandagram's first and only school, Sri Krsna-Caitanya Primary School. Because this Nandagram school is perhaps the first school there in 5000 years, kindly bear with me as I explain how this school came about…

Sri Krsna-Caitanya Primary School, Nandagram

The Vrajavasi villagers donated a large plot of land right next to Sanatana's Bhajan-kutir on the bank of Pavan-sarovar. This land was given on the condition that we build a primary school there. So, by the arrangement of Lord Sri Krsna, I was handed the task. First I drew up the plans and made a list of items that needed to be collected by donation: cement, bricks, iron girders, stone slabs, tools, and trucks to deliver it all to Nandagoan, plus cash to pay for labor, fixtures, and furnishings. H.H. Asrama Maharaj (Prabhupada's Godbrother) had been an architect in his house-holder life so he very expertly designed and calculated everything.

I was then sent into the field with instructions to first pay a visit to a man in Bihar state known as “The king of coal mines.” One of the wealthiest men in India, this powerful magnate owned over one hundred coal mines and lived in a town in Bihar called Dhanbad. One brahmachari (Gopesa Prabhu) accompanied me as cook and assistant. We had just enough money to reach Mathura, where we had to beg for money to travel further.

We begged enough money to take a train from Mathura to a small town about halfway to Dhanbad. There we got off and found the local dharmashala, a kind of dormitory set up as charity by wealthy individuals for wandering monks and mendicants. So we rested there for the night, and the next day we went around town and begged enough food and money to get us all the way to Bihar.

36 We disembarked at Dhunbad and went directly to the coal magnate's house. It was a huge villa enclosed by a high wall and protected by armed guards. I identified myself to the gatekeeper and requested a meeting with the big boss. The guard replied with a big belly laugh, then waved his cudgel at us and sternly warned us to go away and keep clear of the mansion.

So, I went into town and called upon the coal magnate's private secretary at his office. I introduced myself, explained the mission, and some how impressed the secretary. Word quickly went up that an American monk in traditional Hindu robed wished permission for an audience with the boss to discuss an important charitable project near the sacred village of Vrndavana. Soon the magnate's eldest son agreed to meet us, and he was so happy that he invited us to stay as his personal guests in the family mansion.

So back we went to the house as honored guest -- right past the guard who'd threatened us earlier -- and met the whole family. They gave us comfortable room, assigned us servants, and fed us the best Vegetarian food I'd eaten in India since my first meal in Delhi with Brahmin lady and her M.P. husband.

The “King of coal mines” was, as are most wealthy Indians, a devout Hindu. After listening carefully and with growing interest to our presentation, he agreed to donate 200,000 rupees to the project -- 100,000 up front and another 100,000 after construction was already in progress. Without a moment's delay, he called for his checkbook and wrote a check for 100,000 rupees, which he handed over to me. He also instructed his son to buy train tickets back to Mathura for both of us.

I arrived in Vrndavana and presented the check, and then I took another train to Delhi and begin collecting the bricks, iron, cement, and other materials we required to start building the school.

In Delhi I took a personal letter of introduction to Hansraj Gupta, who was the Mayor of Delhi as well as a big shot in the iron industry there. This time I had no trouble getting past the mayor's protective phalanx of guards and secretaries and I was warmly received by him. Mayor Gupta enthusiastically endorsed the Nandagram school project and arranged for me to speak about it before the Rotary Club, Lions club, and other civic organizations in Delhi.

37 Mayor Gupta also wrote a personal letter of introduction on official stationary and gave me a list of people to approach for contributions in the city's sprawling iron works district. In order to encourage his fellow iron bosses to follow his own example, Gupta made a personal pledge in his letter of introduction to contribute six iron girders to the project.

Delhi's iron district is a cacophonous, gritty, pot-holed, open- guttered patch of parched wasteland, crowded cheek to jowl with rusty tin shacks, bullock carts, screeching coolies, and a few sat rich men who sit like kings on their thrones in ramshackle offices. Mayor Gupta's letter, and his pledge to contribute six girders, paved a path through the muck and mire of this district and led me straight to the iron kings' desks. Almost without exception, these otherwise hardnosed, tight-fisted magnates matched the mayor's donation girder for girder. As I went door to door showing the next boss what the last one had pledged, donations snowballed until I had solicited all the iron girders required to construct the school.

But not everything was peaches and cream as I made my rounds. I got more insults than I did girders. Some of these guys would sit with their feet up on their desks, teeth all red from chewing betel, toss me a ten-paise coin and tell me to get out. Others accused me of being a CIA agent and threatened to call the police. Muslims spat on me because I was both Hindu and white, and Hindus asked me what the hell I thought I was doing wearing Hindu robes and told me to go home. But I persisted anyway, by Krsna's grace.

Meanwhile, my health continued to deteriorate rapidly. What had earlier been diagnosed as chronic dysentery had now become a severe case of colitis. My digestive functions slowed to a trickle, and I could eat nothing but the blandest foods without suffering severe discomfort. Sometimes the cramps in my gut got so bad that all I could do was roll around on the floor howling with pain.

Next I had to figure out a way to haul all the iron girders from Delhi over to Nandagram, so we paid a visit to the trucking companies that serviced Delhi's iron industry. These were mostly owned by Sikhs, a jovial, open-hearted sect of former Hindus who had once been Indian's warrior caste. I had no trouble dealing with them, and soon we obtained pledges to provide ten trucks to transport the girders to Nandagram. In order to pay for the labor required to load the iron

38 onto the trucks, I solicited the necessary fund by giving a speech before the Lions club in Delhi.

After all the iron girders had been safely delivered to Nandagram, I turned my attention to the next stage of this campaign -- collecting stone slabs. I decided that the place to go for these was Jaipur, the “Pink City,” famous throughout the ages for its quarries and exquisite stone carving. From my friend the Mayor of Delhi I obtained an introduction to Kesi Prasad Srivastava, Chief of Police of Jaipur and an ardent devotee of Lord Krsna.

He was a big, strong brawny man, kind of a cross between Broderick Crawford and Ed Asner. He was the kind of a guy that whenever he walked into the police station, everyone jumped to his feet and saluted. But he was also an incredibly pious man and was deeply devoted to Krsna, so he invited me to stay as his personal guest at the police dormitory (kotwali) in Jaipur.

Srivastava wrote another letter of introduction, this one introducing me to the biggest stone magnate in northern India, a man named Mr. Tewari, who had a huge quarry in a remote corner of Rajastan called Karoli (home of Sri Sri Radha-Madan-mohan), about four hours by bus from Jaipur. Forearmed with the letter, I boarded a bus for the long hot ride to Karoli…

Srila Sanatana Goswami's Sri Sri Radha-Madan-mohan

By the infinite mercy of Srila Sanatana Goswami I was able to actually take darshan of their Lordship Sri Sri Radha-Madan-mohan. These original Deities of Sanatan Goswami had been moved far from

39 Vrndavana to Jaipur (Rajasthan), along with many other important Vrndavana Deities of the Six Goswamis, to protect Them from the Mogal hoards invading India during that time. Later, the Deities of Radha-Madan-mohan were moved from Jaipur to Karoli when the Prince of Karoli married the Princess of Jaipur. She had fallen completely in love with Sri Madan-mohan, and she insisted that He (along with Srimati Radharani) come with her when she moved to Karoli.

I stayed in Karoli on two occasions for a total of about four weeks. And every day I would walk into the old palace fort (Karoli still has a royal family) and on to the temple. There I often found Their Lordships completely unattended and not a person anywhere. I would be in completely solitude, alone with Srila Sanatana's own worshipful Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Madan-mohan. In Their presence I would try to reflect deeply upon “sambandha tattva” or our eternal relationship with the Supreme Lord.

I also meditated on how Sanatana Goswami used to speak directly with these very same Deities. The great Goswami had a relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead that was so intimate, it is said that he would offer prasada to Lord and watch Him eat it. Yet he was so poor that his offering to Krsna consisted at times of plain flour ground with a stone and shaped into balls, which were then placed on a fire built from cow dung. When these balls baked hard, Sanatana would offer them to his worshipful Deity, Sri Madana-mahana. Tradition has it that their conversations would sound often like this: (Krsna to Sanatana) “What to speak of luscious food and delicious sweets, you offer Me these hard balls of wheat without even so much as a pinch of salt!” (Sanatana to Krsna replies:) “If I start offering You salt, You will soon be asking for sugar and all sorts of palatable things, and there just won't be any end to it. I am poor beggar and have nothing, so please be satisfied with this.” By the strength to his unalloyed love for Lord Krsna, Srila Sanatana Goswami could force the Personality of Godhead to eat hard, unsalted wheat balls. Such love made the Lord exclaim, upon eating these wheat balls, “Oh, these balls are sweeter that nectar!”

The whole fort seemed to be built to the same red stone slabs for which Karoli was famous. We stayed in the dharma-shala at the edge of town and there was no electric nor toilet. Every morning I had direct experience of Srila Prabhupada's “hog eating stool” teaching,

40 when I would venture into the field to relieve nature. A lota of water in one hand and a rock in the other to hold off the hogs!!!

Karoli was a hard, rough-and-tumble town, and the sudden appearance there of a mleccha dressed in the robes of a Hindu monk cause quite a stir. After making a few inquiries around town and waving my letter of introduction from the chief of police of Jaipur I finally found my way into Mr. Tewari's exalted presence.

He was without a doubt the fattest man I've ever seen in my life. He could have made a good living as a fat man in a circus. He must have weighed at least 1,000 pounds! He was so huge that wherever he went he had to be carried around in a palanquin by many servants. He was also a chain smoker and went through at least 100 cigarettes a day. He couldn't say a word without wheezing and coughing.

This man also had it in his head that he was the most highly learned devotee on Earth, so he treated me like a naïve little kid, even though I was a Vaisnava. But I was very humble in his presence, and he actually took a liking to me.

Mr. Tewari promised to give all the stone slabs needed under one condition: I would have to arrange for stones to be transported back to Nandagram. So we (Gopesa Prabhu & I) had to spend two weeks in Karoli going around to all the trucking companies there to solicit free transport for the stones. This I accomplished, and when we returned to Mr. Tewari to show him the written pledges from the truckers, Mr. Tewari promised to send the stones down to Nandagram as soon as possible, and we went back to Vrndavana.

But he failed to deliver, so we had to return all the way from Vrndavana back to Jaipur to find him and persuade him to fulfill his pledge. Tewari wheezed and huffed with excuses, but he finally agreed to sign the order releasing the stones from his quarry. We then had to take the bus back out to Karoli again to present the order at the quarry, and we spent a few weeks there living in the dharma-sala in order to supervise the cutting of the stones into slabs of the correct size and shape for the school.

Finally, we had all the slabs loaded onto trucks, and with me sitting in the lead vehicle, the entire convoy rolled out of Karoli for the long dusty night time drive to Nandagram. In the early morning when we arrived in the village, we were met with resounding cheers and festive

41 celebrations by the villagers, who were very exited about this first Nandagram school.

Meanwhile, bricks and tools had already been purchased with the first 100,000 - rupee donation from the coal king in Bihar, leaving only the cement to be collected. This turned out to be the most difficult item of all to obtain, for it was strictly controlled by the government and carefully rationed for maximum profit by the producers. By now thoroughly familiar with the ropes of fund-raising in India, I went straight to the top, and visited the biggest cement producer in India, the Karnork Cement Company, and requested a personal meeting with the boss at the company headquarters in Delhi.

Sri J.D. Dalmia, chairman of karnork Cement and at least a dozen other major enterprises in India, was at the time one of the richest men in India. He was also one of Indian's most famous philanthropists. He was fanatically opposed to any animal products, and he even produced his own brand of “animal free” soap. As usual, I first befriended his personal (brahmana) secretary, who also happened to be a Vaisnava and a Sanskrit scholar, and I was soon received by the big boss himself.

Barefoot and in my simple monk's attire, I entered one of the most sumptuous offices in India and met a man wealthy beyond imagination. But Mr. Dalmia's demeanor belied his great wealth and power. Neither fat nor ostentatious like most Indian tycoons, he listened with interest to my proposal and was so impressed that he not only agreed to donate and deliver all the cement we required, he also invited me to stay at his mansion that night and extended a standing invitation to stay there whenever I visited Delhi.

Dalmia's house was like a huge hotel. It had a lobby with a marble reception desk for guests and the switchboard with about a hundred lines in it. There were doormen, bellboys, maids, chauffeurs, gardeners, all kinds of servants running around in various uniforms. It was unbelievable that one man could own such a huge house. He was the Indian version of J. Paul Getty!

I would eat the best Brahmin-cooked veg. Indian “prasadam” in the world (off a golden thali), while alas, Dalmiaji could only take barley water. Barley water was all he could digest. So much money, but he could only drink barley! But he was a devout Vaisnava and loved Lord Krsna above all Forms. He had under taken to completely

42 rebuild Krsna-janma-bhumi, with a structure so large that it would be bigger than the current mosque. I have never seen the completed project.

When all the building materials had finally been delivered to Nandagram and construction was underway, I made another trip to Bihar to collect the second 100,000 - rupee check from the coal magnate there, and with that I completed the mission. The whole thing had taken six months to accomplish.

The villagers at Nandagram were ecstatic over the completion of their new school - the first school ever to exist there. A big celebration was organized to inaugurate the school, and holy men from all around the region were invited to attend the festivities. Milk was brought in from all surrounding villages, and an enormous iron vat was set up in the courtyard to cook sweet milk-rice for the entire village and all the visitors who attended the inauguration. It took a full day to cook and yielded about 250 gallons of fragrant sweet rice simmered in milk, the sacred food of Lord Krsna. It provided the biggest meal that any of the villagers in Nandagram had enjoyed in living memory, and the inauguration of the school was perhaps the greatest event to transpire there for many centuries.

I remember watching all the Vrajavasi kids lined up stuffing themselves with sweet rice, and wondering what this humble service to Vraja-dham would mean to my spiritual life.

Samadhi of Akinchan Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj

Sanatana's sacred bhajan-kutir is on the banks of the eternal Pavan- sarovar lake. This kunda is so special because Sri Krsna takes His daily bath here eternally. It is said that a morning bath in Pavan- sarovar gives liberation from material bondage forever (at least a

43 shira-snan). All the devotees would bath daily in this sarovar. It is very charming.

Attached to this austere ashram is a very sacred tirtha, the samadhi of Akinchan Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj, who is Srila Prabhupada's “bhajan-anandi” Godbrother. It is interesting to note that the only two disciples of Srila Sarasvati Thakura whose samadhi's are mentioned by H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaj in his book, “Gaudiya Vaisnava Samadhis in Vrndavana” are Srila Prabhupada (who was acting as the most empowered ghosta-anandi) and Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj (who was the essential bhajana-anandi).

Nandagram is the lila stali chosen over all others by Babaji Maharaj to leave his old body. Some devotees believe that Babaji Maharaj is eternally in shakya-rasa with Lord Krsna. Although he would never say, still, I remember him at Madhuvana singing a Hindi song about Krsna's friends with tears streaming down his face.

In the samadhi is a large picture of Babaji Maharaj looking very sad. I have never seen Babaji with that look before. I always remember him laughing and very happy. He was so humble that we were all afraid to offer him obeisances because he would always do the same in return. He would never accept obeisances. Can you imagine a Vaisnava of Babaji's character bowing to a prakrta-bhakta and former beef-eater like me? I wasn't fit to wash his feet.

Please allow me to speak more about Akinchan Krsnadas Babaji Maharaj. One time he was leading a large sankirtan party through the streets of Vrndavana. It was the middle of summer (In Vrndavana!!). When we reached Amalitala, Babaji Maharaj fainted. We all thought he might die, so we continued chanting and took him into Bhakti- saranga Maharaja's Amalitala ashram. Finally we got Babaji Maharaja to wakeup and then he got sick to his stomach. When he felt a little better he asked us to continue on and he would catch up later. Sure enough, on the last streach, there was Babaji Maharaj with mrdanga in hand and a beaming grin on his face.

On another occasion I was following Babaji Maharaj walking around Giriraj Maharaj. In all the years together I never heard Babaji Maharaj speak anything. Example: “Babaji Maharaj, is it true that you're in shakya rasa?” To which he replies, “HARE KRISHA!!!” Even when he was meeting with his Godbrothers he would always sit at their feet, and he would simply laugh and proclaim, “Hare Krsna!!!”

44 whenever he was told anything. So we were walking past a devotee who was performing 108 dandavat parikrama around Govardhana when suddenly Babaji Maharaj turned to me and said, “Ucharan koro!” (“Pronounce it”---the Holy Name). My chanting was so poor that Babaji Maharaj had to break his silence. I hope that I can always remember that important instruction about chanting.

Once Babaji Maharaj picked out a stone from Govardhana and handed it to me. Later, while worshipping that shila, I was starting to practice “manasa-seva” (mental service) while offering bhoga. After a few months of this practice, one day a Vrndavana monkey came into my room and knocked the shila onto the floor. After that I placed the shila into the temple and stopped trying for manasa-bhajan while in my prakrta-bhakta condition.

As I mentioned before, Babaji Maharaj never slept. He was always up all night performing bhajan; at least during the summers when he would always stay in Vrndavana. First thing in the morning Babaji Maharaj would lead all the kirtans. Then, after CC reading (in Bengali), Babaji Maharaj would sit alone before the Deities and sing endless sweet bhajans for a few hours. He would also sing (recite) so many verses, and he would always begin with all the Guru vandanas (Siddhanta-sarasvati, Gaura Kishore, etc…). During the afternoon he would stay in an underground room to chant rounds. He used to keep track of his rounds. He never said how many rounds he chanted. At night he would again lead the kirtans, and after prasadam he would sit on the roof to pray, all night! The best way to describe Babaji Maharaja is “Hare Krsna!!”

Pavana-vihari Mandira

On the bank of Pavana-sarovara lake (behind the school) is the Pavana-vihari temple, and inside the temple are beautiful Deities of Sri Sri Radha and Krsna, which have been worshiped very nicely by one of Srila Prabhupada's Godbrothers. Bathing here is very auspicious.

Nandalal Mandira

Especially important in Nandagrama is the Nandalal temple, which is the eternal home of Krsna and Balarama. Walking up the steps to the temple through Nandagram village is very charming. But before one takes the blessings of this darsana he/she should first seek the

45 blessing of Nandesvara Mahadeva, whose small temple is located just inside the main temple compound. Local tradition has it that Lord Siva once arrived here to see baby Krsna, Nandalal, but when he approached Mother Yasoda to get her permission, she refused him entry because of his fearful countenance. She feared that Lord Siva's rather outrageous appearance might frighten her transcendental baby, eventually she gave him her blessings.

Lord Siva's participation in Lord Krsna's lila is further described in connection with the demigods preparing for the glorious advent of the Supreme Lord. The demigods took birth in various families and situations in order to assist the Supreme Personality of Godhead in His transcendental activities. Lord Brahma, Lord Visnu, and Lord Siva in particular took birth as three individual mountains (in addition to their other activities), with Lord Brahma taking the form of Varsana- parvata, Lord Visnu as Govardhana Hill, and Lord Siva as Nandesvara-parvata, the hill which acts as the support for Krsna's eternal home, Nandagrama.

Another delightful experience in worshiping Lord Siva here in Nandagram comes in understanding the sentiment in which the devotee of the Lord approach this sacred lingam. It appears that Lord Siva's back is still hurting from having been struck by Arjuna in their fight (Ref. Mahabharata), and therefore pilgrims wish to massage the railing around Lord Siva's lingam in the hopes of easing his pain and of gaining his blessings, which is to be allowed to enter the house of Nanda Maharaja and Yasodamayi. One should also circumambulate the entire temple compound.

On the inside roof of the kirtana hall in front of the temple entrance one may see wonderful paintings of Krsna's pastimes. The Deities that are worshiped here include Krsna & Balarama (as twin flute players), Nanda Maharaja and Yasoda, as well as Sridama, Madhumangala (Krsna's friend), and Rohinidevi (Lord Balarama's mother), etc. As in

46 Varsana one should be ready to tolerate the Vrajavasi beggars without committing any Dhama-aparadha. Remember, they are all friends of Krsna, and are always playful just like Krsna. In the temple compound they all claim to be Brahmins; but I don't know why because being a born Vrajavasi is surely more exalted than being Brahmin. But the association of a Vrajavasi Brahmin has got to be worth Rs. 10+ (unless you are penniless begger like I was before, then they don't ask, they give). I heard that Srila Prabhupada would blissfully sit back on top of the temple wall and let the Nandagram vasis explain all about Nandagram and the surrounding sacred villages whenever he took disciples there.

I had a personal experience which I would like to tell. Once, while staying at Sanatana's Nandagram “Bhajan-kutir” during the winter, I hadn't had any milk for months. Somehow, I had a few paisa left over from bus fare, so I decided that 'for my health' I would spend this money to purchase a little milk. It was during a cold winter night that I climbed up the stairs to Nanda Maharaja's palace and found a “Duhd walla” about half way. I gave him a few paisa I had and asked (in Hindi) for some milk. Well, he did a first-class Vrajavasi version of mixing the milk with sugar (from one pot into another, back and forth), placed a slice of malai-skin (off of the heated milk) on top, and finally sprinkled a bit of sugar and gave it to me.

So I was standing half way up the stair to Krsna's palace holding this beautifully prepared milk and I decided to go see if the temple was still open and offer this milk (I couldn't stand there in the path and just drink the milk!?). Luckily, the temple was still open so I went inside and called the Pujari. I asked him to please offer the milk to Nanda-lal, so he closed the curtain, rang the ganti, and returned and gave me the clay cup. But when I looked inside I saw that half the milk was missing and must have been stolen by Pujari (or Krsna). Such was the offensive state of my mind that I thought ill of the Lord and His servant.

Then, by the grace of Lord Krsna, I understood that I had offered the milk to Krsna for full consumption, and the Lord had so kindly accepted my offering, plus He left 50% for me to relish! That 'prasadam' milk was the best I have ever tasted.

In Nandagram they still have the saying, “Nandagaon jao, matta kao, tikk hojao,” when ever you get sick go to Nandagram, drink the local Matta (whey), and everything will be fine. True for centuries.

Vrnda-kunda

Also part of Nandagram, and one of the most powerful tirthas in all of Vraja is VRNDA-KUNDA. Located down a dirt road just past Sanatana's Bhajan-kutir on the right side of the road to Kamyavan. The presiding deity is Vrndadevi, the goddess of Bhakti; and the kunda water is so surprisingly clean. This sacred spot was donated unto ISKCON's care by a siddha-baba (deceased), and is now looked after very lovingly by our Vraja-vasi Godsister, Daivi-shakti Prabhu and other honorable devotees of Sri Vrnda Trust.

I remember once sitting on the outside stairs at Sanatana's bhajan kutir with the old Babajis and watching the Vrajavasis returning home with bullock carts over-loaded with sugar-cane. On more than one occasion a young Vrajavasi kid would grab some canes off the cart and running he would bring the sugar-canes to give us while shouting, “Baba! Baba!” So some of these toothless old Babajis and I start ripping the covers off the fresh sugar-cane to reach the sweet-juice inside. The Nandagram Vasis are so wonderful! “Sri Nanda-Yasoda jaya, jaya gopa gan, Sridamadi jaya, jaya dhenu-vatsa-gan.”

3. tritiya-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the third period: (8:10 a.m. to 10:34 a.m.)

purvahne dhenuamatrairvipina manusrtam gosthalokanuyatam krsnam radhapti lolam tadabhisrtikrte prapta-tankunda-tiram/ radham colokya krsnam krtagrhagamanamaryaya 'rkarcanayai distam krsnapravrtyai prahitanijasakhivartmanetram smarami//

purvahne --in the forenoon; dhenuamatraih --by cows and friends; vipinam --towards the forest; anusrtam --followed; gostha-loka- 'anuyatam --followed by cowherd people(i.e., Nanda and others);

48 krsnam--Krsna; radhaptelolam --anxious to find Radha; tadabhisrtikrte --for the purpose of secretly approaching Her; prapta- tankunda-tiram --who had gone to her pond (Radha-kunda); radham -- Radha; ca --and; alokya --having seen; krsnam --Krsna; krtagrha- gamanam --who had gone home; aryaya--by the mother-in-law; arkarcanayai --for worshipng the sun god; distam --ordered; krsnapravrtyai -- to get news about Krsna's whereabouts; prahitanijasakhivartmanetram --who was casting her eyes toward the path by which Her friends would return; smarami --I remember.

“I remember Sri Krsna in the forenoon. He was going toward the forest, followed by cows and cowherd friends. Others like Nanda Maharaja also followed Him. Because He was anxious to be with Radharani, Krsna went to search Her out on the banks of Sri Radha-kunda.

I also remember Sri Radha, who having caught a glimpse of Krsna, went home, where She was ordered by Her mother-in-law (Jatila) to worship the sun god. Radharani had sent Her girlfriends to discover Krsna's whereabouts, and thus She casting her eyes down the pathway by which they were likely to return.”

In this third period of Radha-Krsna's nitya-lila, Radharani returns home to Varsana (after having a glimpse of Krsna eating at Nandagram). On the 'pretext' of going to worship Surya (the Sungod) She descends into Her garden of Gavarvan (or any other), where She excitedly awaits for Her Shaki & Manjari friends to return with news of Krsna's whereabouts.

In this period Lord Sri Krsna goes off His friends and cows for the purpose of peaceful grazing. Understanding that Krsna and nitya-lila are beyond limits, we can therefore assume that He left Nandagram and headed away from Radha-kunda direction (perhaps to fool His father!?). So what place better than Kamyavan? Later Krsna could double-back to meet Srimati Radharani at Radha-kunda.

Following Krsna from Nandagram about 1 KM towards Kamyavan, we first arrive at a very easily missed tirtha with a small shrine above the rocks on the left side. This is a place with Krsna's Footprint. The last time I visited Krsna's Footprint was with H.H. Mukunda & Mahanidhi Maharajas. Maharaj was pointing out how Krsna stood, leaning on His stick, with only one foot showing, along

49 with impression of the walking stick. Just then we turned around and saw several Vrajavasi men standing around in that exact same stance. This Footprint is perhaps further indication that Krsna heads for Kamyavan, the Forest of Desire.

Kamyavan

Kamyavan is down the road about 8 miles from Nandagram and Sri Sanatana Goswami bhajana-kutira. About one-half mile along this road is the small shrine on the left-hand side, where a person may see Lord Krsna's footprint embedded in stone (mentioned before). In kamyavan is Bimala-kunda, above which is a stone (now covered by a small temple) in which there is the impression of Krsna's hip. Elbow, heels and feet. The story of these impressions goes like this:

According to Gaudiya & Vrajavasi tradition, once Krsna and the gopis were playing in the lake and testing who could stay underwater the longest before coming up for air. The gopis cheated, however, and kept surfacing for more air to breathe. Krsna understood all this and decided to teach the gopis a lesson by swimming away underwater and climbing a hill to watch the fun. When the gopis could not discover Him, they began to search frantically for Krsna, fearing that He might have drowned. Their lamentation grew so strong that the entire land around the bathing place melted out of compassion for their anxiety, and the rock which Krsna had been sitting on also began to melt. As he slowly sank into it, He left the impression of His transcendental hip, elbow, heels and feet.

Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha Mandira

There is an even more extraordinary story connected with Kamyavana. Tradition has it that after His disappearance from this planet, one of Lord Nityananda's consorts, Srimati Jahnava devi, was living in Vrndavana under the care of the Six Goswamis. She decided

50 to make a pilgrimage around the sacred land of Vrajabhumi, and some of the devotees carried her from one tirtha to another in a palanquin, ending up at the Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha temple in Kamyavan. Here Srimati Jahnava devi personally conducted the puja during arati, but suddenly at the end of ceremony the Deity came off the altar and took Jahnava with Him, closing the altar curtain and the temple door. When the Goswamis and others awoke from their astonishment, they opened the temple door and found that she had disappeared and that the Deities alone remained. Accordingly, they installed a murti of Ananga-manjari, which is Jahnava devi's divine form in Krsna's eternal Vraja lila, on the right-hand side of the Lord. These same Deities are still to be seen there today.

Bhojana-thali

Nearby is bhojana-thali, where Lord Krsna displayed a sublime pastime with His cowherd friends. Once, while playing, the cowherd boys decided that they wished to eat. Krsna's friend Madhumangala especially was insistent that Krsna Himself had the food which was supposed to be their lunch and that He was deliberately hiding it from all the others. Krsna said no, He did not have the food in His sack, for when He looked inside Madhumangala's bag He found in it the food for their lunch. And no matter how much food Krsna pulled from Madhumangala's bag, it remained full.

The other cowherd boys wondered how and where they could sit to enjoy this delicious foodstuff, and so Krsna had them all sit along a huge stone and close their eyes. Upon opening them, the boys saw depressions in the stone in the shape of thalis, or plates, and these same impressions are present to this day. During the Vrajavasi ceremony of annakuta-puja, the local people come to this Bhojana- sthali site and set up hundreds of fireplaces and cook large quantities of bhoga for offering on these thalis which Lord Krsna had created for the transcendental pleasure of Himself and friends. It is a wonderful site to visit.

51 4. caturtha-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the fourth period: (10:34 a.m. to 3:22 p.m.)

madhyahne 'nyonya samgodita vividhavikaradibhusapramugdhau vamyotkanthatilolau smaramakha lalita dyalinarmaptasatau/ dolaranyambuvamsihrti-rati-madhupanarka-pujadi-lilau radhakrsnau satrsnau parijanaghataya sevyamanau smarami//

madhyahne--at noon; anyoanya- sanga-udita-vividha-vikara-adi- bhusa-pramugdhau--mutual, association, grown, manifold, changes like horripilation, ornaments, happy; vamya-utkantha-ati-lolau--lovely wiles-desire-much-unsteady; smara-makha-lalita-adi-ali-narma-apta- satau--cupid, ritual, lalita, etc. friend, jokes got pleasure; dola-aranya- ambu-vamsihrti-rati-madhupana-arkapuja-adi-lilau--see-saw play, roaming in the forest, water sports, hiding the flute, lovemaking, licking honey, worship of the Sun-god; etc., sports; radha-krsnau-- Radha and Krsna; satrsnau--having deep affection for each other; parijanaghataya--by the retinue; sevyamanau--being attended upon; smarami--I remember.

“I remember Radha and Krsna during the midday period. Both were happy in each other's company, exhibiting goosebumps and other such symptoms as Their bodily ornaments. They both felt unsteady because of Their very keen desires for amorous play. They were engrossed in various sports, such as playing see-saw, roaming in the forest, sporting in the water, hiding Krsna' flute, love-play, drink honey, and worshiping the Sun god. Each had a great longing for the other, and both were attended by large retinues of friends.”

This fourth period is, perhaps, the highlight of the Lord's nitya-lila. Radha-Krsna secretly meet together at Govardhana Hill and spend blissful, eternal pastimes together at Radha-kunda. In his Upadesamrtam, Srila Rupa Goswami states in sloka #9:…”And above all the super-excellent Sri Radha-kunda stands supreme!” When reading Kaviraj Goswami's description of this lila we must always remember that this is spiritual subject matter, beyond transcendental pastimes with mundane life.

Before I write what I know about Radha-kunda, first let me tell you some great news. Our Vrajavasi Godbrother, H.H. Mahanidhi Swami, who is an ocean of Hari-katha, has completed his book called “Radha Kunda Mahima Madhuri.” This book is the most complete and

52 ultimate authority on the glories of Radha-kunda in the English language. If you really want to understand this 4th period of nitya-lila at Radha-kunda, then please obtain this wonderful book.

Govardhana Hill

Via Varsana one may take the bus to Govardhana Hill, making sure that he/she alights from the bus before it crosses over Govardhana Itself. There in the center of the Govardhana tirtha is manasa-ganga, which is a large lake said to have been created by thoughts (manasa) of the gopis in order to stop Krsna from passing. There is a temple here of Lord Siva called Saklesvara-mahadeva, where the pilgrim should sprinkle some of the water from Manasa-ganga on his head. One should also visit Sanatana Goswami's bhajana-kutira. Pilgrims can ask local devotees for directions. There is a wonderful story connected with this sacred site:

In his old age, a sadhu name Chota Krsnadasa made a pilgrimage to the land of Lord Krsna's pastimes, and he finally arrived at the banks of Manasa-ganga and the Saklesvara-Mahadeva temple. Here he performed his bhajana and begged madhu-kari. Intently immersed in his worship, he began to neglect his eating. When this condition went on for a while, the sadhu grew weaker and weaker, and his eyesight began to deteriorate. This weakness discouraged him from further begging, and at last he became completely blind.

Still, though, Chota Krsnadasa remained absorbed in bhajana, and one day he felt a particularly wonderful presence near him. Sri Lalita appeared and said that she had been sent by Srimati Radharani with a special eye treatment. Radharani had become concerned that Her devotee was not eating properly because of his blindness, and She had sent Lalita to help him. Lalita told Chota Krsnadasa that she would anoint his eyes with a special salve, but that he must keep his eyes

53 closed during the treatment. As soon as Lalita touched his eye Chota Krsnadasa felt transcendental ecstasy, and forgetting her warning to keep his eyes firmly closed during the treatment he opened them prematurely. Srimati Lalita disappeared at once, but not before she had anointed one-half of on eye, which at lease permitted the sadhu to beg and find nourishment once more. Chota Krsnadasa became miserable because he disobeyed the instructions of Srimati Radharani's very intimate associate, but he continued his bhajana and his begging.

Chota Krsnadasa also wished to know his own personal service in relationship with the Divine couple Sri Sri Radha and Krsna, and in asking the local devotees he was informed that such siddha-bhajana- pranali, or the confidential knowledge of one's own guru and no one else. Chota Krsnadasa's spiritual master, however, had already disappeared from this material plane, and thus he decided to commit suicide by jumping from the temple of Saklesvara-Mahadeva into Manasa-ganga lake in order to meet his guru in his next birth and thus learn what his siddha-bhajana-pranali was. Oddly enough, however, he couldn't sink in the water and drown, as was his plan. He then grabbed a stone on the bottom of lake in order to hold himself down, but the slab came loose and floated to the surface once more. Lo and behold, when he looked at stone slab he found carved on it the sacred mantra revealing his personal service to Radha and Krsna. Absorbed in transcendental bliss, he left his body and returned home, back to Godhead. This same stone announcing the message of Chota Krsnadasa's eternal relationship with Radha and Krsna is still here at this holy sit.

Giriraja Mandira

Near this Manasa-ganga is a small temple of Giriraja, where there repose a large Govardhana stone and small stone which represent Govardhana Hill as the worshiped and as the worshiper. The devotee

54 pilgrim may purchase a small quantity of pancamrta from the local shops and give it to a pujari for pouring over these sacred stones. The Brijbasis may touch these stones from Govardhana Hill, but we may not. Nor of course, should one actually step on Govardhana Hill, because the entire mountain is non-different from Krsna Himself.

After visiting the temple of Giriraja one should walk clockwise to the end of Govardhana Hill and visit Radha-kunda. And here one may begin and end his Govardhana parikrama, which is 14 miles in length.

Radha-kunda

It is recommended that the pilgrim first take bath in Syama-kunda and then in Radha-kunda, being very careful not to place one's feet in the water first. Bow in respect to the sacred tirtha and then throw some water over one's head. Then one may crawl headfirst into the water, chanting gayatri in Syama-kunda before moving to Radha-kunda. To visit the other sacred sites in this area may take a good local guide, and the devotee should ask to see the bhajana-kutira and samadhi of Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja Goswami (where he completed the Sri Caitanya-caritamrta), and the bhajana-kutira of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Goswami Maharaj), as well as many other very holy sites particularly dear to Gaudiya Vaisnavas. Everything is wonderfully mentioned in H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaja's new book, Radha Kunda Mahima Madhuri.

One who visits Radha-kunda should be very careful not to commit any offenses with his body, mind, or word, regardless what his eyes tell him. The devotee should reflect on the state of his own heart and mind and realize that he/she is here in Radha-kunda, the most sacred spot of all in Vaisnava religious life.

In Radha-kunda one may visit the redstone temple originally built by Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura and was/is being cared for

55 by Srila Prabhupada Godbrothers. The pilgrim should ask them and other bonafide residents of this holy dhama for guidance and assistance in understanding the profound significance of Radha-kunda in Krsna lila and proper ways of worshiping Their Lordships Sri Sri Radha and Krsna here.

One will also see in Radha-kunda the very tip of Govardhana Hill, and many faithful devotees are always engaged in offering dandavat- parikrama, or the way of circumambulating the two sacred lakes by offering one's prostrated obeisances the whole route.

Early in the morning, after bathing Syama-kunda, the pilgrim may walk the entire route around Govardhana hill and return again to Radha-kunda. He might have to ask directions at some points in the circumambulation in order to recognize the parikrama path. In some places Govardhana Hill actually seems to disappear, which is what it has in fact done. One should not climb around on Govardhana, and one is urged not to take any of these sacred stones, for it is reported that anyone taking stones from Govardhana Hill without authority will suffer greatly until the stones are returned. These stones are very powerful, and we learn that in worship of Govardhana-sila one must be even more careful in avoiding offenses than in worshiping Salagrama-sila. The devotee should know that Lord Sri Krsna is both worshiped and the worshipper in these pastimes involving Govardhana hill. As one meditates on the pastimes of Radha and Krsna, he/she should circumambulate Govardhana Hill barefoot, chanting the holy names of the Supreme Lord constantly while ending one's way.

Kusuma-sarovara

Walking clockwise from Radha-kunda one comes to Kusuma- sarovara, which appears like a beautiful palace and bathing pond. Radha and Krsna have very confidential pastimes here, it is said. All

56 around this sacred pilgrimage place there are other kundas, and it is advised that one ask directions to visit them. These are the kundas and gardens of the eight primary sakhis, or very confidential lady friends of Srimati Radharani, and they encircle the center. According to Srila Krsnadas Kaviraja Goswami's Govinda-lilamrta, each primary gopi has four manjaris to assist her, and each of these manjaris has four assistants also. In this way there are so many gorgeous petals beautifying the limitless transcendental lotus land of Sri Radha-kunda and Govardhana Hill.

5. pancama-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the fifth period: (3:22 p.m. to 5:46 p.m.)

sriradham praptageham nijaramanakrte klrpta nanopaharam susnatam ramyavesam priyamukhakamalalokapurnapramadam/ krsnam caivaparahne vrajamanucalitam lanuvrndairvayasyai sriradhalokatrptam pitrmukhamilitam matrmrstam smarami//

sriradham --Sri Radha; praptageham --who had arrived at her home; nijoramanakrte --for His beloved; klrptanana-upaharam --who had arranged many presents; susnatam --who had take ablution; ramyavesam --who was joyous to get a glimpse of the lotus face of Her beloved; krsnam --Krsna; ca eva --and; aparahne --in the afternoon; vrajam --towards Vraja; anucalitam --followed by; dhenuvrndaih --by a myriad of cows; vayasyaih --by friends; sriadhalokatrptam --who was satisfied with the idea of having a view of Radha; pitr-mukhamilitam --received by the father and others; matrmrstam --made tidy by the mother; smarami --I remember.

“I remember Sri Radha, who arranged many presents for Krsna after She arrived at Her home. By that time She had taken Her ablution had dressed in beautiful clothes. She was full of joy to see the lotus-like face of Her beloved Sri Krsna.

I also remember Sri Krsna in the afternoon. He was a walking toward Vraja, followed by a myriad of cows and cowherd boyfriends. At home He was received by Nanda Maharaj and other elderly people, and then He was bathed and groomed by Mother Yasoda.”

During this fifth period Radharani returns to Varsana (already described), while Krsna rejoins His friends and the cows to continue roaming through the different forests in Vraja-dham, twelve forests

57 (vanas) are counted as the most important, viz., (1) Vrndavana, (2) Madhuvan, (3) Bahulavana, (4) Talavana, (5) Kumudavana, (6) Lauhavana, (7) Bhadravana, (8) Baelvana, (9) Bhandiravana, (10) Mahavana, (11) Khadiravana, and (12) Kamyanava (Kamavana). These are the twelve sacred forests; there are also twenty-four “upavanas” or groves. Lord Govinda sports in all these different forests and groves eternally, before returning home to Nandagram.

The Twelve Forests

As this isn't intended to be a guidebook I will not describe the glories of these locations. So many of my fortunate Godbrothers have already written all the information necessary about these forests and groves. A partial list of all the Vraja guidebooks available in English can be had from H.H. Mahanidhi Maharaj in Vrndavana. I have visited all these Vanas but I can only remember a few personal experiences.

Madhuvan

At Madhuvana one may see the temple of Dhruva Maharaja, the great devotee of the Supreme Lord, who is now situated as ruler of the Pole Star. At Bahulavana, a cow named Bahula received the mercy of the Supreme Lord when it was attacked by a tiger/lion (?). By praying for Krsna's protection the cow was saved by the Lord, and there is a nice, small shrine dedicated to this cow village here. Once, long ago, while on Vraja-parikrama, we visited this site with a large group of Bengali pilgrims. While walking through the village a huge bull became enraged and attacked the devotees, goring one elderly lady in the stomach. It was quite an upset.

Each of these Vanas has its glories which I won't repeat here. But among all the twelve vanas, the most important is Vrndavana, the forest of devotion.

Vrndavana

Vrndavana is such a vast subject that I don't know where to start. Our Godbrother, H.H. Mahanidhi Swami Maharaj, has written a wonderful book titled, “Appreciating Sri Vrndavana Dhama.” The best I can suggest for all devotees wishing to learn about Vrndavana is to carefully study this book.

The eternal Vrndavana Pastimes of Lord Krsna are divided into DAY and NIGHT. This fifth period lila is, of course, during the day. We will visit Vrndavana again during the later night-time lilas. But before moving on to the sixth lila period I would like to recount one small incident which I will never forget:---Once, while residing in Vrndavana, an old Vrajavasi dog laid down in the gutter, just at the gate to ashram, to die. From the morning until late afternoon we kept going to the gate to see if the dog had died; yet still the dog hung on to life in Vrndavana. Finally, with all of us watching, the head pujari took a spoonful of charan-amrtam from the temple and poured it into the dog's body, while we all chanted, “Hare Krsna!!!” Somehow I always felt this experience to be significant. Perhaps in my next life I will have a similar experience as a Vrajavasi dog in Vrndavana.

6. sastha-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the sixth period: (5:46 p.m. to 8:10 p.m.)

sayam radham svasaravya nija ramanakrte presitanekabhojyam sakhyanitesasesasan-mudita-hrdam tam ca tam ca vrajendram/ susnatam ramyavesam grhamanu janani lalitam prapta gostham nivyudosralidoham svagrhamanu punarbhuktavantam smarami//

sayam--in the evening; radham--Radha; svasaravya-nijaramanakrte-- for Her beloved companion; presitanekabhojnam--who had dispatched

59 many exquisite dishes; sakhi-anita-isa-sesa-asana-mudita-hrdam-- whose heart was joyous to have taken the remnants of Krsna's food, brought to Her by Her girlfriend; tam--Her; ca--and; tam--Him; ca-- and; vrajendra--Krsna, the master of Vraja; susnatam--who had taken bath; ramyavesam--well dressed; grhamanu--at His residence; janani- lalitam--fondled by His mother; praptagostham--who had come to the cowshed; nivyuda-usra-ali-doham--who had finished milking the cow; syagrhamanu--in His own home; punah--again; bhuktavantam--who had taken His meals; smarami--I remember

“I remember Sri Radha in the evening. She had sent many exquisite preparations for beloved Krsna with Her friend, who brought back the remainder of the food tasted by Him. Radharani became very happy to partake of it.

I also remember Vrajendra Krsna, who had taken His bath at home and was very well dressed. Mother Yasoda fondled Him. He came to the cowshed and milked several cows, and after finishing this chore He again returned home and took His meals.”

Varsana & Nandagram

Again Srimati Radharani is staying at Her eternal home, Varsana, and Sri Krsna is in Nandagram. These descriptions of nitya-lila by Srila Kaviraj Goswami are very clear and do not require much explanation. In the evening Radharani personally cooks for Her beloved at Her home in Varsana. These wonderful offering are then carried to Krsna in Nandagram by Radharani's dear friend, Vrnda- devi; who then returns to Varsana with the remnants for Radharani to

60 relish along with Her girl-friends (shakis & manjaris). Here we can see that Vrndadevi is a “shakhi” of Radharani (not a manjari). After tasting prasadam with Her friends, Radharani becomes even more blissful by anticipating the secret night-time reunion with Her Beloved.

After cow herding pastimes, Krsna also returns to His eternal home in Nandagram. There He is bathed by his servants, cleansing all the transcendental Vraja dust from His supra-mundane body. After showing mercy to Mother Yasoda He again milks some cows. Finishing this chore He returns home to relish the wonderful bhoga prepared for him by Radharani.

All these lilas are performed in Varsana and Nandagram which have already been described. What more can I add? This subject matter is far beyond my 'prakrta-bhakta' mentality. Still, for self- purification, let us proceed to relish the Divine Couple's seventh period lila.

7. satam-yama-kirttanam : Chanting during the seventh period: (8:10 p.m. to 10:34 p.m.)

radham saliganam tamasita-sita-nisayogyavesam pradose dutya vrndopadesadabhisrta yamunatira-kalyana-kunjam/ krsnam gopaih sabhayam vihitagunikalalokanam snigdhamatram yatnadaniya samsayitamatha nibhrtam praptakunjam smarami//

radham--Radha; sa-all-ganam--along with a retinue of girl friends; tam--Her; asita-sita-nisa-yogya-vesam--who dons clothes suitable to the dark and light fortnights; pradose --after sunset (early in the evening); dutya --through a lady messenger; vrndopadesat--on a piece advice received from Vrnda; abhisrta-yamuna-tira-kalyana-kunja-- who had gone to a bower of bliss situated on the Yamuna River; krsnam--Krsna; gopaih--in the company of cowherders; sabhayam--in the assembly; vihita-guni-kala-alokanam--who had witnessed the feats of acrobats, etc.; snigdha-matra--by loving Mother Yasoda; yatnata-- with an effort; aniya--having brought; samsayitam--made to sleep; atha--then; nibhrtam--quietly; praptakunjam--who had gone to the bower; smarami--I remember

“I remember Sri Radha early in the evening in the company of Her playmates. She had dressed Herself in clothes suitable for the dark and

61 light fortnight, and pursuing Vrnda's advice She repaired to a bower of peace and bliss on the banks of the Yamuna, accompanied by a messenger.

I also remember Sri Krsna sitting in an assembly of cowherders and watching various acrobatic feats. Yasoda, His affectionate mother, then brought Him home and attempted to put Him to sleep. Afterwards, the Lord quietly left His bed for the bower of bliss.”

Raman Reti

This 7th period is so well described by Srila Kaviraj Goswami. Further, detailed information is found in Srila Kaviraj Goswami's spiritual classic, Sri Govinda-lilamrtam. Both Srimati Radharani and Krsna are at their eternal homes, Varsana & Nandagram. But as soon as the opportunity arrives They both sneak away from their homes to meet on the bank of the Yamuna near Raman Reti. Sri Krsna come alone, but Srimati Radharani comes with many Shakis and Manjaris, who are all expansions of Her Krsna-prema. In fact, the whole of Vraja-dham (and Navadvipa-dham) and every object therein are all Her expansion.

This final verse, like the 4th sloka, is the other high-light of the Divine Couples Nitya-lila pastimes in Vraja-dham…

astam-yama-kirttanam: “Chanting during the eighth period” (10:34 p.m. to 3:22 a.m.)

tavunkau labdhasangau bahuparicaranervrndaya radhyamanau presthalibhi-lasantau vipinavaharanairgana rasadi-lasyaih/ nana-lila-nitantau pranayi sahacarivrnda-samsevyamanau

62 radha-krsnau nisayam sukusumasayane praptanidrau smarami//

tau--they both; unkau--auspicious or very keen; labdhasamgau--who have got the company; bahuparicaraneh--by various services; vrndaya--Vrnda; aradhyamanau--being worshiped; presthalibhih--with beloved friends; lasantau--looking charming; vipinaviharanaih--by roaming in forest; gana-rasadi-lasyaih--by singing and enjoying rasa- dance; nana-lila-nitantau--feeling tired after sports of many kinds; pranayi sahacari-vrnda-samsevyamanau--being attended upon by a myriad of loving female friends and companions; radha-krsnau-- Radha and Krsna; nisayam--at night; sukusumasayane--on a flowery bed; praptanidrau--sleeping; smarami--I remember

“I remember both Radha and Krsna, who were anxious for each others company. When They are together, Vrnda attends the loving couple in various ways. They both look very charming, along with Their loving friends, while They roam in the forests and are engrossed in singing and dancing in the style of rasa. They feel tired after so many sportive activities. They are then looked after by many loving friends. At night They repose on a bed of flowers, and then They sleep.”

Vrndavana-Dhama

All these nighttime pastimes are enacted within Vrndavana. According to Gaudiya tradition the Divine Couple meet around Raman Reti, and They then proceed along a path that is now called Madan-mohan Ghera. A short way down this path the devotee(s) will come to one of the most beautiful temples in all of Vrndavana, Sri Madan-mohan Mandira. The original Deity is now presiding in the sand-stone fort of the Maharaja of Karoli in Rajasthan (described before).

63 Srila Sanatana Goswami had discovered the Deity of Madan- mohan in the forest, but because he had no temple in which to worship Him, he placed the Lord upon a rock and was worshipping Him there. Later, a wealthy salt-merchant and devotee of Srila Sanatana Goswami, constructed a grand temple for Sri Sri Radha Madan- mohan, which is still one of the most auspicious and charming sites in Vrndavana.

A devotee's appreciation for this temple is heightened when he/she meditates on Radha-Krsna's passing this very same way every evening on their way to Seva-kunja, etc. Just beyond this temple of Madan- mohan, on the right-hand side is the temple of asta-sakhi, the eight primary gopis, Lalita, Visakha, etc. Nearby also is Kaliya-daha, where Lord Krsna purified the Yamuna and liberated the Kaliya serpent.

Further down the lane from the asta-sakhi mandira is the famous temple of Vanke-vihari, “He who is the enjoyer of forest garden.” Every evening and during the day also, flower merchants gather in front of this temple and sell fragrant garlands, which one may offer to the Deity inside the temple. This Deity was once worshipped by the father of modern devotional music, Haridasa, whose samadhi tomb may be found in Nidhuvana. The darshan of Sri Vanke-vihari is considered very special, for even though the pujari opens the Deity's curtain for a few moments only, the experience is so intense that many people simply swoon upon seeing the Lord.

Seva-kunja

Going down the lanes of Vrndavana village, one eventually arrives at Seva-kunja, where the Divine Couple, Sri Sri Radha and Krsna, are served at night by Their eternal maid-servants. Painting of the wonderful devotional service which these gopis render to Radha & Krsna decorate the inside roof of the small temple located in Seva- kunja.

Vamsivata

When the Divine Couple conclude Their transcendental pastimes in Seva-kunja, they move on to Vamsivata (Rasa-sthali), which is most important tirtha in Vrndavana. For it is here that Lord Krsna performs His rasa-lila (tasteful dancing) with the gopis. Before the devotee enters the compound, however, he should be sure to offer his respects to the guardian deity of the site, Sri Gopesvara Mahadeva, who is Lord Siva in his gopi form. Lord Siva, it is said, received the benediction from Srimati Radharani that he could guard the gateway of Radha and Krsna's intimate rasa-lila pastimes, and thus the pilgrim should pour water on the Siva lingam and pray for his mercy.

The story goes that Lord Siva desired to relish the rasa-lila, but he was told that he could not enter unless he took the form of a spiritual milkmaid, a gopi damsel of Vrndavana. He therefore bathed in the Yamuna River and emerged with the transcendental form of a cowherd girl, his complexion having turned completely white. When he entered the area of dance in his new form, Lord Krsna at once recognized His great devotee and broke off dancing with Radharani in order to greet him. But Radharani did not at once recognize Lord Siva, and thought instead that Krsna had left Her for another gopi. Feeling very sorry, she began to weep and her tears formed a small river. But Krsna did not at first notice Radharani's lamenting because of Yoga Maya's influence in arranging to heighten the pleasure of the pastime. Only when the small flow of Radharani's tears actually touched His lotus feet did Krsna realize Her grief. He immediately returned to Her and told Her that the newcomer was none other than Lord Siva and certainly not rival gopi. Radharani was so pleased that She blessed him at once with the benediction that he could stand guard eternally over the rasa dance. No one would be allowed to enter without his permission and blessings. Therefore, Vaisnavas worship Sri

65 Gopesvara Mahadeva first before they worship Radha and Krsna at this famous tirtha.

Nidhu-vana

After enjoying each other’s company until late night, the Divine Couple and Their maidservants move on to Nidhu-vana. At Nidhu- vana all the arrangements are made by the most intimate lady friends of Srimati Radharani for the sleeping pastimes of the Divine Couple.

One may reverse his direction at this point and walk back down the Yamuna River bed to Amalitala, the site of a tamarind tree beneath which both Lord Krsna and Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu sat. This same tree is standing still, and it is said that it even bled once when cut. Lord Caitanya's footprints are here also. The temple was built by Bhakti-saranga Gosvami, Srila Prabhupada's Godbrother. It is said that Lord Krsna once sat here while searching for Radharani and chanted. “Radhe, Radhe, Radhe!!!” Touching this sacred tree, therefore, help one advance in Vraja-bhakti-yoga.

At Sri Sri Radha Damodara one may see Srila Prabhupada's original bhajana-kutira and samadhi tombs of Srila and Jiva Gosvamis. The devotee should circumambulate these sites and, as elsewhere in his pilgrimage to Vrndavana, avoid acting or thinking offensively.

After seeing all these important places of pilgrimage and after paying one's respects accordingly, the devotee should circumambulate the whole of Vrndavana-dhama, meditating as he makes his way on the sublime transcendental varieties of pastimes performed everywhere by the Supreme Personality of Godhead and His intimate associates.

The Vrndavana Gaudiya Temples

The devotee should visit all the temples of the Gosvamis named in “Songs of the Vaisnava Acaryas”, pages 106-107, especially Sri Radha Govindadeva, Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha, Sri Sri Radha Madan- mohan, Sri Radha Raman, Sri Radha Syamasundara, Sri Radha Damodar, and Sri Radha Giridhari. Most of the original Deities, however, (except for Sri Radha Raman and some others) are presently being worshipped in Jaipur, and they may be visited later. One may ask local residents for directions to these temples by name.

The Second Vrndavana

Just as it is important to visit all the twelve forests sacred to Krsna, so it is important to make a pilgrimage to Jaipur, which is known often as the “second Vrndavana.” In Jaipur one may see the original Deities of Radha-Govindadeva, Radha Damodara, Gopinatha, and others which were transferred from Their temples in Vrndavana to Jaipur during Mogul invasions. The Sri Radha Govindadeva temple and darshan might well be the most ecstatic experience in a devotee's pilgrimage to India. Be sure to purchase a ticket for the noon prasada.

Also in Jaipur, not very far from the Govindadeva temple, is the temple of Lord Kalki, the future avatara of the Lord. As mentioned before, some miles from Jaipur is the village of Karoli, where one may

67 see the original Madana-mohana Deity, which was worshipped by Srila Sanatana Gosvami.

There are so many places where Krsna enacted His pastimes in and around the sacred land of Vraja that it would be impossible to describe them all. These sacred sites mentioned herein are the most important and should not be overlooked in one's pilgrimage. Srila Prabhupada used to comment that his spiritual master, Srila Bhakti-siddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami, said that Vraja-dhama (as also Sri Navadvip- dham) could be seen only with one's ears. According to bona fide Gaudiya-siddhanta, the Vraja-dham nitya-lila counter-part in the spiritual sky is Sri Navadvip-dham, where the Lord as Gaura Hari is eternally worshipped with long hair (before His sannyasa bhauma- lila.”).

Prabhupada-smaran

Remembrances by Hrsikesananda das Of Bengali conversations with H.D.G. Srila Prabhupada Over a 2-3 week period in Mayapur, 1973

Ref. Srutakirti das & Satsvarupa Goswami

When I went to join Prabhupada in Vrndavana, Jan. 1968, H.D.G. had already returned to America. So I went to Gaudiya-Math under Prabhupada Godbrother Vana (Bon) Maharaj. Vana Maharaj told me that he had received word from “Swami Maharaj” saying that I should stay put. So I remained, almost completely isolated, in Vraja-dham for 6 years.

68 Finally, in 1973, I left Vana Maharaj and returned to the feet of Srila Prabhupad in Mayapur. Whenever I would meet Prabhupada H.D.G. was delighted to speak in Bengali. Every afternoon for a couple weeks Srutakirti Prabhu would tell me that Prabhupada wanted to see me, and we would converse in Bengali. Because I had been brought-up in the Gaudiya Math with Indian devotees, Srila Prabhupada knew that I had been exposed to esoteric information about Rupanuga-bhakti (the specific path of Rupa & Rati Manjaris) and siddha-pranali. So Srila Prabhupada would often quiz me about these topics, and I would also ask H.D.G. to clarify or approve of things I had learned about this subject.

During this period I suggested to H.D.G. that he could complete the Upadesamrta very quickly because it was only 11 slokas. H.D.G. immediately asked me to bring my copy, and he then began right away. So we started and completed the Upadesamrita with Srila Prabhupada over a period of two weeks in Mayapur. While working on this book we also had further discussions about the goals mentioned in this book (Nectar of Instruction, by Rupa Goswami). I stayed in the room next to Prabhupada which was shared by Satsvarupa Maharaj and Srutakirti Prabhu. Pandit Pradyumna Prabhu also gave invaluable help for the book, even though he was very busy working on CC. Jaya Pradyumna Prabhu! And not to forget Harikesa Swami for editing the original manuscript which I took to Bombay and then mailed to Prabhupada in London. Jaya Harikesa Swami Maharaj!

Although I can't remember the exact sequence of events, I do recall the main points covered…

Points from all meetings:

ACBSP: So how is Bon Maharaj?

HD: Busy with supporting his school, Gurudev.

ACBSP (in English): Yes, he is the rectum of the Institute of Oriental Philosophy (a pun on his title of “rector”)--Prabhupada laughs heartily.

ACBSP: So what you have learned in Vrndavana?

HD: About nitya-lila, Gurudev.

ACBSP: And?

HD: Siddha-pranali, asta-kaliya-lila-smaran-bhajan. Is it true Gurudev?

ACBSP: Yes, but who is siddha?

HD: One out of millions of seekers (Quote the verse BG, “manushyanamsahasresu…” But is this our goal (nitya-lila), Gurudev?

ACBSP: Yes, we are the followers of Rupa / Raghunath. This is highest understanding, to be dasanudas in Radha-Krsna's lila.

HD: But what about siddha-pranali? How to qualify? Who will give?

ACBSP: Guru will give. You just chant Hare Krsna.

HD: (I mentioned the story of Chota Krsnadas, who tried to kill himself by jumping into Manasa-ganga, when he heard that only his Guru, who had already departed, could give him siddha-pranali). How to receive this eternal information (sthyi-bhava), Gurudev?

ACBSP: Guru will give. There is no material consideration about Guru is here or there. When you reach that level, Guru will give.

HD: But what about manasa-seva, like the Brahmin who burn his finger in meditation? Isn't that bhajan?

ACBSP: Krsna makes no distinction. But if you serve Krsna by mind He will accept. That is sure!

HD: Gurudev, whenever I mention anything about Rupanuga bhakti many of my Godbrothers get angry and say it is all a bunch of Gaudiya Math nonsense, and you never taught that!

ACBSP: Everything is coming, they will also know.

HD: Is the asta-kaliya-lila by kaviraj Goswami the real Nitya-lila detail?

ACBSP: Yes.

HD: I would like to mention “asta-kaliya-lila” in this sloka 10 (Nectar of Instruction). So we can all know from you the highest goal. What do you think?

ACBSP: Yes, you put it.

HD: How about these two slokas from BRS (Krsnam-smaran…/ Seva sadhakarupena…)? I think they will enhance this purport (NOI: sloka 8). Is that OK?

ACBSP: Yes.

HD: Gurudev, what about rupanuga bhakti. What is the eternal relationship between us (disciples) and you?

ACBSP: (Prabhupada quotes sloka 6 of Gurvastaka) Guru is serving under his master and you all can do likewise. In Nitya-lila every devotee thinks like that, that my master is most dear to Radha-Krsna.

HD: So that means that my relationship with you is eternal, that it will continue in Nitya-lila?

ACBSP: Yes.

HD: As manjaris?

ACBSP: Down to shakya.

HD: But for Rupanugas isn't it always Manjari-bhava?

ACBSP: Yes. That is the highest. But in spiritual world there is no such distinction. Every one is KC, even the----- (something like flowers or clouds. i.e., a santa-rasa example).

71 HD: Gurudev, is it true that Bhaktivinode's spiritual name is”…..” manjari? And your Guru too, isn't he “….. ….. …….?”

ACBSP: Laughing! Oh, you have learned too much?

HD: I don't know anything, Gurudev, I just heard about it. This is the main concern of devotees in the Gaudiya Math. It pains me to hear my godbrothers criticize your Godbrothers…

ACBSP: Who is saying like that?

HD: Many, Gurudev. They say there is only preaching. But what about Prabhupada (H.D.G. Srila Prabhupada Sarasvati Thakura), I heard he was a bhajan-anandi with no disciples. Kunja Bihari das (H.H. B.V. Tirtha Maharaj) found him and brought him out to preach. Isn't it?

ACBSP: Yes, my Guru Maharaj came out to preach.

HD: Wasn't he already in the Nitya-lila? How about Gaura-kishore, didn't he have only one disciple?

ACBSP: Yes, but he was one disciple better than thousands of others. He was my Guru Maharaj. He was there (nitya-lila) but he kindly “came down” to preach.

HD: What about your Godbrother, Krsnadas Babaji, he has no disciples?

ACBSP: “Akinchan” Krsnadas.

HD: Yes, Gurudev.

ACBSP: There are two types of devotees, bhajan-anandi & ghosta- anandi. Babaji Maharaj is in bhajan.

HD: He is always chanting “Hare Krsna!”

ACBSP: Yes, that is his only business. He is akinchan.

HD: What is the meaning of “bodhayan atmanatmanam” (BS V/59), does it mean that we realize the Supreme Self and our own svarupa simultaneously?

ACBSP: Yes.

HD: What about realizing your svarupa, Gurudeva?

ACBSP: That is the same thing.

At that point I was thinking to ask Prabhupada what was his spiritual name in nitya-lila, but I was afraid he might chastise me for asking such an exalted question, while in my obvious state of bondage. But on another occasion an interesting thing happened. Together with Devananda Swami we went and asked Prabhupada to please chant on our new Tulasi japa malas from Vrndavana. As I was returning to Srila Prabhupada's feet and no longer had my original mala H.D.G. chanted on my mala. But when Devananda tried to get Prabhupada to chant on his new beads H.D.G. became angry, and asked Devananda about his original (big red) wood beads from San Francisco…

ACBSP: What is the matter? Do you think your old (red) beads are not Tulasi?

DS: No Gurudev. But…

ACBSP (dismissing the whole matter): This is Krsna “Consciousness.” You should never think for a moment that your old beads are not directly Tulasi!

So Srila Prabhupada refused to chant on Devananda's new Tulasi beads. On another occasion I was sharing armed guard duty with Satsvarupa Goswami at 2am in Mayapur. When I walked past Prabhupada's room H.D.G. called me in. When I entered he told me that he wanted to sing one bhajan, and to wake up Bharadraja. So we assembled on the floor and played kartals and mrdanga as Prabhupada sat on his bed with a harmonium and sang a private bhajan!

There was one other interesting experience during the time I was close to Srila Prabhupada in Mayapura. One day Prabhupada held a mass “Hare Nam” initiation of new Bengali devotees before the Deities, in the temple room, which was open and on the ground floor. Jayapataka, Satsvarupa and other Maharaja's were present along with about 100 devotees. I was seated near Prabhupada when, during the ceremony, H.D.G. turned to me without any warning and asked me (in

73 Bengali) to explain the 10 Nam-aparadhas to these new initiates in Bengali. So, taking heart, I began with the mad-elephant offense, SATAM-NINDA! During that topic I also mentioned to the new devotees that this includes, especially, the Gaudiya Math and any of Prabhupada's Godbrothers or their disciples. Prabhupada was sitting there and he allowed me to drive home this point…that it is a terrible and unpardonable offense to speak ill of any Gaudiya Vaisnava. H.D.G. grace did not object at all, and he seemed pleased at my words. When I finally reached offense #9, because of my false pride, Srila Prabhupada withdrew my memory---I drew a blank. So I turned to H.D.G. and said that I had forgotten the last two. But Srila Prabhupada, without showing the least displeasure, just immediately picked up where I had left off.

Gaudiya Matha

Since my return in 1973 I have always found it to be unbearable to listen to ISKCON devotees speaking ill of the Gaudiya Math (or visa versa). Just as ISKCON is the sacred creation or our Srila Prabhupada, so is the Gaudiya Math the sacred creation of H.D.G. Srila Sarasvati Thakura. Any offenses against the Gaudiya Math or any Gaudiya Vaisnavas (especially our God uncles & cousins) is a direct insult unto the sacred feet of our great Param-Gurudev, who is the original “Prabhupada.” We all know that our Srila Prabhupada was divinely empowered to preach, as was Srila Sarasvati Thakur and his disciples. They built up 64 branches in a few years, and published many books in Bengali. I have personal experience of living in the Gaudiya Math, and I have the utmost respect for every devotee of Lord Caitanya, especially in the line of Srila Sarasvati Thakura. Whether “bhajan- anandi” or “gostha-anandi” Krsna loves all devotees. Therefore I believe for the well-being and auspicious future of ISKCON that all ISKCON devotees on every level completely refrain from thinking or speaking any “satam-ninda” against Srila Prabhupada's Godbrothers and any branch of the Gaudiya Math. If one is inclined to criticize,

74 then there are billions of karmis. Not the Gaudiya Math (nor each other). Please!!!

We hope that the devotees will relish reading this small memoir as much as we enjoyed preparing it. All glories to our Godbrothers and Godsisters! Jaya Srila Prabhupada! All glories to the Vaisnava- acaryas! Jaya Gaura-Nitai!! Sri Sri Radha-Krsnabhyam namah!!! AUM TAT SAT

NOTES:

“I think your Braj/insight book is a great idea. Please do it right away!!” ---H.G. Satyaraj Dasa Prabhu

“I very much appreciated the transcription of your conversation with Prabhupada in 1973; it was very enlivening to me”---H.G. Jadurani Prabhu

“I was fascinated by your account of your talks with Prabhupada in Mayapur 1973. I think this is wonderful and that it shows that Prabhupada was well aware of the raganuga topics in all their details, but did not choose to tell us about it cheaply. I also found it very significant that he said to you that the Guru could reveal this, even after his disappearance. Thank you for sharing this with the devotees. “---H.H. Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

“I found the 'Prabhupada-smarana' interesting reading. I am glad that you are writing your remembrances of your conversations with Srila Prabhupada. Please continue to send me whatever else you produce. “---H.H. Tamal-Krsna Goswami

“As far as your remembrances of Srila Prabhupada, I thought they were very interesting and very relevant. “---H.H. Harikesa Swami

“Pleasantly surprised by your wonderful anecdote about Prabhupada smaranam. “---H.H. Mahanidhi Swami

“I have just read your Vraja-rasa-bindu. I was very pleased to read it. As you know from reading my own writings, I like it when devotees express themselves honestly, not just with official perfection. You have done this and produced a very valuable memoir-confessional. At the same time, it is a learned presentation of the nectar of Radha and

75 Krsna in Vrndavana, according to the Vaisnava scriptures and acaryas. Quite a tastly combination.”

---H.H. Satsvarupa dasa Goswami