Marine Lt. Nathaniel Fick Leads a Band of Brothers in His Memoir of The

OCTOBER 22 2005 SAN DIEGO DOWNTOWN NEWS BOOKS IRAQ Young Men and Fire Marine Lt. Nathaniel Fick leads a band of brothers in his memoir of the Iraq War By JASON WATKINS sion of Iraq, breaching the south- DOWNTOWN NEWS ern border with Kuwait sometime in the morning hours of March 21, he most striking evi- 2003, then crossing the Euphrates dence of Nathaniel Fick’s and Tigris rivers and eventually abilities as a world-class arriving in Baghdad just as the military mind comes not statue of Saddam was being top- from his Dartmouth edu- pled by U.S. troops. Tcation nor his reverence for Marine Their journey was chronicled in Corps history nor even the bulk of Evan Wright’s acclaimed book, the decisions he made in battle, but “Generation Kill,” and in his three- rather from the single fact that he part series that appeared in Rolling returned home from war with the Stone, but Wright’s account is same number of men he left with. strictly that of an embedded Fick makes only passing mention reporter while Fick’s was written of this in his newly published book, by the man who was making the “One Bullet Away: The Making of a decisions. (In a sense, Fick’s telling Marine Officer,” in which he of the same story proves how dif- recounts his journey from Ivy ferently an event is viewed by each League upperclassman through observer.) Officer Candidate School to the bat- One of the book’s many virtues is tlefields of Afghanistan and Iraq. Fick’s ability to throw a shaft of Fick downplays the survival rate of pure light on the true makeup of his platoon so much, in fact, that his men. The notion of a United one is left with the false impression States Marine as a hardened killer that this is something less than a with a piercing gaze is well war- monumental achievement. ranted (and not altogether inaccu- But Fick is no ordinary officer rate) but Fick offers us another side and his are no ordinary Marines. of the story: Midway through his military career, Fick was invited to join the PHOTO BY JOYELLE WEST elite First Reconnaissance Battal- Christmas morning dawned clear and cold. The patrol had been ion, the Corps’ elite fighting group guessed the television news that uneventful, and I walked the lines that played a vital role in the inva- night was full of reports of collater- to see the Marines. I thought some sion of Iraq and seizure of Bagh- al damage and civilian casualties. I of the younger guys might have a dad. No other group in the Marine wished people could see how much ONE BULLET AWAY Corps trains more and fights hard- hard time that day, but they were we agonized over our decisions and THE MAKING OF A MARINE OFFICER er than First Recon, and their fail- festive. A captured tumbleweed prayed they were the right ones. stood next to each fighting hole, By Nathaniel Fick ures and successes often make These choices didn’t always trans- Houghton Mifflin Company national headlines. Getting shot at, pruned by hand into a triangular late into hesitation on the trigger or encountering roadside attacks, shape of a little pine tree. Candy racking self-doubt, but sometimes October, 2005 even being fired upon by fellow and mini Tabasco bottles from it was enough to sit awake in the Hardcover, $25. Marines – it’s a miracle any of them MREs hung from the branches. cold rain just thinking about them.” made it home alive, let alone all of There were even gifts. During the Much has been made about that past week, Marines had squirreled breed of otherwise virtuous soldier away packets of cheese or pound or Marine turning into to a callous, to call Fick out as a well-to-do, Ivy nd this is exactly where Fick cake — MRE delicacies — for their unfeeling murderer in a war zone, League “thinker” with a good mil- and “One Bullet Away” so buddies. only to return home to face his itary record who aspires to one day Amasterfully succeed. In what demons with eventual unraveling. become a senator. (Why the Amer- he calls the “aftermath” of war, I mourned for myself. On one occasion, after receiving Contempt for this type runs deep ican people would find fault in this Fick is forced to face the evidence orders from his commanding offi- throughout Fick’s platoon; each behavior somehow eludes “Salty- that his experiences as a Marine Not in self-pity, but for cer to move 10 kilometers on foot man deals with war in his own way, Tex.”) Fick himself admits that he officer and as a veteran made him the kid who’d come to across rocky terrain, the Marines in at the time of his own choosing, but has no desire to run for office, into a principled, honorable and Fick’s platoon carried 200 pounds no one falls so harshly upon himself though that almost appears a heroic man. Iraq. He was gone. of gear across the desert of as Fick: waste, given that he’s currently “I took sixty-five men to war and Afghanistan under the light of the earning his master’s degree at the brought sixty-five home,” he writes. NATHANIEL FICK moon while another platoon moved As darkness fell over Valat John F. Kennedy School of Govern- FORMER MARINE CORPS CAPTAIN “I gave them everything I had. in the comfort of Humvees. Evoking Sukkar, I sat alone in the dim green ment at a little place called Har- Together, we passed the test. Fear the spirit of Tim O’Brien’s “The light of the radios. I felt sick for the vard. didn’t beat us. I hope life improves Things They Carried,” Fick writes: shepherd boys, for the girl in the “I’m really interested in policy, for the people of Afghanistan and blue dress, and for all the innocent I’m just not that interested in poli- Iraq, but that’s not why we did them. Exactly how he managed to I thought, then, of my favorite people who surely lived in tics,” Fick said during a phone what we did. We fought for each return with all 65 of his men still time at Quantico, those moments in Nasiriyah, Ar Rifa, and the other interview. “I really like walking other.” puzzles Fick, but he credits some the bunk after we sang “The towns this war would consume. I down the street and being anony- Ultimately Fick was spared from combination of skill, luck and what Marine’s Hymn.” Now, as I had at hurt for my Marines, goodhearted mous.” doing what he feared most. “I knew one of his best Marines, Rudy OCS, I sensed an outpouring of grit, American guys who’d bear these But perhaps the most unsubstan- if anybody got killed, I was the one Reyes, calls the “sacred geometry pride, and raw desire to live up to burdens for the rest of their lives. tiated claim by “SaltyTex,” and a who was going to have to fly to of chance.” the traditions we’d inherited. These And I mourned for myself. Not in difficult one to make, is that Fick’s their hometown and explain to Enrolled at Dartmouth and head- Marines came from places like Erie self-pity, but for the kid who’d come book and Evan Wright’s “Genera- their parents what happened,” he ed for medical school, Nathaniel and Tuscaloosa and Bedford Falls. to Iraq. He was gone. I did all this tion Kill” paints Recon Marines in a said. He never had to. Fick was so moved by a motiva- The most junior of them earned in the dark, away from the platoon, bad light. Both books are honest Both unsentimental and quietly tional speech given by a former nine hundred dollars a month. because combat command is the depictions of a misunderstood (if introspective, “One Bullet Away” Marine that, within a few months, Some had joined the Corps for loneliest job in the world. not completely overlooked) gener- emerges as one of the clearest voic- he found himself aboard a bus adventure, others for a steady pay- ation within the military, and both es to come out of the current war. headed for Officer Candidate check or to stay out of jail. Now they portray these men as honest and Nathaniel Fick is just one man School (OCS) in Quantico, Virginia. all kept walking for one another. n a recent reader review on caring, crude and violent, feared telling one story about one particu- “I wanted to go on a great adven- Amazon.com, an anonymous and respected killers. To suggest, lar moment in time, and yet he and ture, to prove myself, to serve my “One Bullet Away” makes no Iperson who claims to be a part like “SaltyTex” does, that these his men prove that uncommon country,” he writes early on in the assertions of the validity or legiti- of Fick’s platoon takes him to task accounts “hurt our reputation” and valor may well be an uncommon book. “I wanted to do something macy of the war — it’s not entirely for writing such a book so soon expose the platoon’s bad side is to virtue. so hard that no one could ever talk clear where Fick falls on the polit- after the events occurred, calling it miss the point entirely. Fick’s book shit to me.” ical spectrum except for a few brief political positioning that’s “20 years isn’t a piece of propaganda for the Former Marine Corps Captain He chose his path wisely. glimpses into his upbringing. early.” Not that the reviewer, iden- cause of the Recon Marine – or for Nathaniel Fick will sign copies Three years later, Fick was lead- (“Some of my classmates had been tifying himself only as “SaltyTex,” the Corps as a whole – any more and read from“One Bullet Away” ing a platoon of 22 men and one hunters since they’d learned to has much of an axe to grind: his than “Full Metal Jacket” is an on Friday, Oct. 14, at Bay Books platoon leader – a hardened war- walk, but I had fired a gun only two only real gripe seems to be that advertisement for war. Rather, the on Coronado Island beginning at rior named Gunny Wynn who is or three times in my life,” he Fick was paid to tell his story, a book is meant as a solitary voice 6:30 p.m. and on Saturday, Oct. regarded by fellow Recon Marines writes.) But he is concerned with notion in which only an idiot could among many. His view is simply 15, at the Marine Corps Associa- as something of a legend – through the legitimacy of his own men; after find fault and only a jealous col- that some stories need to be told, tion Book Store on Camp Pendle- battles in Afghanistan and Iraq. His a particularly bloody battle with league would point out. The and that this happens to be one of ton from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Visit platoon was part of the initial inva- Iraqi insurgents, Fick writes, “I reviewer’s other apparent goal is them. www.nathanielfick.com. 1215_ARM_DOM_00_038_00 (READ ONLY) 12/4/2008 9:49 AM Page 38

REQUIRED READING WE ASKED YOU TO RECOMMEND YOUR FAVORITE BOOK TO READ ON DEPLOYMENT 40 features @armytimes.com nes li fe FITNESS AND FILM , F UN Li

SHEILA VEMMER/STAFF By Jason Watkins exists. If you just had journalists [email protected] writing about it, then why have f the role of a journalist is to photographs? Or if you have jour- paint a complete picture of The nalists writing about it and you war, then the role of a war have photographers, why have artist is to paint just a small artists? Why have musicians?” I sliver of it. “I want to tell the story of what That’s the goal of the handful of our people are doing,” says Mor- artists serving in the U.S. mili- gan Ian Wilbur, a self-trained tary whose job is to “go to war artist and former sailor who has and do art” of what they witness traveled to war zones three times in battle. to create dramatic, photorealistic Four of those artists are artists oil paintings. “I kind of look at it featured in a new exhibit, as a way to tell their story.” “Afghanistan and Iraq: Combat Wilbur is one of two Navy com- FIND OUT MORE Art,” on view at the Navy Art Mu- Painters bat artists. To find out more about the artists, visit seum in Washington, D.C., leave One of the show’s more strik- Monica Allen Perin: www.monica through the end of February. of ing examples of the combat art watercolors.com The collective works showcase genre is Wilbur’s “Three on the CWO2 Michael D. Fay: http:// a range of experiences and legacy Knee,” an oil on canvas of med- mdfay1.blogspot.com/ emotions in the war zones and ical personnel operating on a provide a record for future war wounded soldier. From afar, the Sgt. Kristopher J. Battles: http:// in ink, oil kjbattles.blogspot.com/ generations. painting is hard to distinguish “The quote I like is, ‘Photogra- part of the show. story emerges. from a photograph. To see a video and a slideshow phy is like prose, and art is like While journalism attempts to “They say a picture is worth a Equally captivating are small of some of the work on display at poetry,’ ” says Chief Warrant Of- tell it all one story at a time, Fay thousand words, but there’s also line drawings, usually done on the Navy Art Museum, visit ficer 2 Michael D. Fay, one of says, a painting portrays a more something ineffable [about art]. the battlefield from direct obser- militarytimes.com/offduty only two combat artists in the visceral narrative so that, when You really can’t put it into words,” vation, that show slices of mili- Marine Corps. His works are viewed as a collection, a clearer Fay says. “That’s why imagery tary life: a 1st Recon Marine with

38 Army Times December 15, 2008 ▲ 1215_ARM_DOM_00_038_00 (READ ONLY) 12/4/2008 9:49 AM Page 39

Lifelines

an IV in his arm; the inside of a Humvee on patrol; a corporal at Walter Reed Army Medical Cen- ter who lost his legs. People unfamiliar with military culture often are surprised to learn that combat artists are being employed at all, Fay says, and that, of all the branches, the Marine Corps would place such emphasis on fine art. “But in point of fact, the Marine Corps is about excellence,” Fay says. “We want to be the best shots, drill the best, have the best in military music.” Sgt. Kristopher J. Battles, a Marine and another artist ex- hibiting in the show, is a classical COURTESYOFMARINE SGT.KRISTOPHER J. BATTLES realist who paints landscapes and portraits. Marine Chief “It’s not shocking to us that the Warrant Officer 2 Marine Corps and the military in Michael D. Fay, general draws some of the better far left, works on of the culture, the cream of the a portrait of crop,” Battles says. “But it is sur- Lance Cpl. Joshua prising to some people.” Mooi on Nov. 20 in Fay’s studio at History Marine Corps Combat art is as old as combat it- Base Quantico, self. Images of battle date back to Va. Clockwise the Ice Age, when cave paintings from left, “Three showed human figures with spears On The Knee” by stuck in their sides. Much of what Morgan Ian we know about the battles of an- Wilbur, a drawing cient times comes from this art. of Lance Cpl. Every society that has gone to Nicholas G. war has employed the skill of an Ciccone by Fay artist to record or memorialize and a drawing by the experience. As a soldier in the Marine Sgt. COURTESYOFMARINE CHIEF WARRANT OFFICER 2 MICHAEL D. FAY Revolutionary War, John Trum- Kristopher J. bull painted the surrender of Lord civilians and one infamous cross- Battles. Cornwallis in 1787. During the dresser that led to public outcry Civil War, Winslow Homer and its ultimate removal from ex- IF YOU GO sketched battle scenes for Harp- hibition lest the Navy be cast in a ■ “Afghanistan and Iraq: Combat Art er’s Weekly. poor light. (It’s now in the collec- from the United States Navy and United In most cases, war art is created tion of the Navy Art Museum.) States Marine Corps Combat Art Pro- by those who witnessed history grams” runs through the end of Febru- firsthand. The Army enlisted Insiders ary at the Navy Art Museum in the Navy eight artists at the outset of World Unlike an outsider who shows Shipyard in Washington, D.C. War I to create a record of what up at camp with a sketchpad, most ■ Visit www.history.navy.mil/ they saw, starting what became combat artists are in uniform — or branches/nhcorg6.htm. the Army’s combat art program. were very recently — so they ■ Call (202) 433-3815 for more info. “War and tales of war basically speak their subjects’ language. shape storytelling, which is the “They want to feel we’re an asset COURTESY OF THE NAVY ART MUSEUM passage of culture,” Fay says. and not a liability,” Battles says. something like that,” Fay says. of tousle-haired Lance Cpl. “We are fine artists,” Battles “We’re part of that ongoing cycle “Part of our challenge in inte- And sketching their subjects can Nicholas G. Ciccone, whose 3rd says. “One of the legacies that we of culture. We’re going out and grating with a unit is that, al- be “a morale builder.” Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, want is that people see it as art we’re observing war, and we’re though they are accounting for had stumbled into the bombed-out and that it will be enjoyable to creating an artifact from that.” us, they’re also counting on us,” Legacy Kandahar International Airport look at even though the subject There are two ways to join the Fay said. “When the proverbial “The unique thing about combat after a nine-day battle with the isn’t always necessarily enjoyable, ranks of combat artists. The first you-know-what hits the fan, they artists is that we start with the Taliban in January 2002. His face or it’s not necessarily pretty. is to be commissioned or contract- don’t want to be looking for us as most brutal and rawest material is worn, and his steely gaze is “So it’s enjoyable as art, but it’s ed to travel to a war zone to cre- the artist sitting there off in an there is: people and places in a drawn downward. “His gear is off, also informative as history,” he ate art. artistic reverie, and [they want to time of war,” Fay says. “We trans- but the weight’s still there,” Fay says. “So that they will say, ‘Oh, The other is to submit an origi- know], can he shoot?” late being out there danger-close, wrote on his blog, Fire and Ice. that’s what the Marine Corps was nal work based on personal expe- Combat artists usually gain being out there in 120-plus de- Several years later, through like in the early 2000s.’ ” rience. If it’s acquired by a muse- their subjects’ respect quickly. grees, having on 80 pounds of e-mails from family members who In another blog entry, Fay wrote um, the creator “is now and forev- “At first they may look at us gear, feeling as nasty and skanky discovered the portrait of Ciccone that some of the young men he er a combat artist,” Fay says. like, ‘Uh-oh, we’ve got to take care as the next guy — having the full online, Fay learned that the has painted have died and can no Today, the military’s art collec- of this person,’ ” Battles says. experience.” 23-year-old had taken his own life. longer speak for themselves, but tions comprise thousands of works “When we’re out with the young That translation becomes a “The common thread through all “I knew them. I was there, but the and include important paintings lieutenants or the corporals on pa- record of a place and time that their heartfelt messages is a heal- bullets and grenade fragments in America’s history, such as Paul trol or living in a [forward operat- will serve as an artifact. ing sense that they’ve regained a that killed them passed me by. Cadmus’ “The Fleet’s In,” depict- ing base], we’re not chaplains, but It also can provide closure. piece of Nick they thought they’d “I will speak for them,” he wrote. ing a rollicking scene of sailors, we’ve been told that we bring Fay’s magnum opus is a drawing never reclaim,” Fay wrote. “They would want me to.” Ë

December 15, 2008 Army Times 39

U [ essay ] the Dogsof JASON LILLEY is torn between two people: the old him and the new him. The old Jason Lilley served two tours in Iraq as a Marine with the First Recon Batallion and was part of the first group of Americans to breach the country’s southern border at the beginning of the war. At some points, he was among the northernmost Marines in War enemy land. Nine months after During his second tour, the old Jason Lilley saved six of his fellow Marines in a roadside ambush, an returning home from Iraq, action that earned him a Silver Star, the third-highest honor in the military. His story has been told in Jason Lilley, a First Recon Rolling Stone magazine, in a recently released book called “Generation Kill”and on evening news broad- Marine from Camp casts, all of which call him a hero.The old Jason Lilley was a hardened warrior, a Devil Dog, a member of the Pendleton’s Bravo Corps’ most elite group of fighters of which there are Company, finds adjusting less than a thousand.They are the Marine Corps’ version of Navy SEALs. to civilian life is one of the That was the old Jason Lilley. The new Jason Lilley is a damn mess. hardest battles he’s fought. I MET THE NEW JASON LILLEY at Pizza Port in By JASON WATKINS Carlsbad. He was a colleague of my roommate, Carlos, who was also in First Recon. The two served together in Iraq. Wearing sandals, a sleeveless black shirt and long, spiky hair, the new Jason Lilley looked like a frat boy. He stood six foot two (not counting the hair) and had sideburns and a lip ring. He had just been released from the Marine Corps, and his change in appearance was common among newly separated troops. The new Jason Lilley needed a place to crash after getting out, so my roommate and I invited him to stay with us. What was supposed to be a couple of weeks ended up being five months, during which time the old and the new made a desperate attempt to reconcile their differences. The new Jason Lilley was filled with native enthusiasm and spoke with a faint Southern drawl, his voice peppered with gravel and abrupt starts and stops. He would study his arms and chest in the mirror, surprised they belonged to him. He looked like twisted steel. “I applied at the post office today,” he said after a month of have the wherewithal to stay alive and get the rest of the guys to surfing and playing video games. “A buddy of mine works there safety. By the time he reached Baghdad, he had seen hundreds, and told me to apply. Pay’s pretty good.” maybe thousands, of lives ended. Many of those were women I helped him write his resumé, culling anything useful that and children and innocent civilians. He was 6,967 miles away might translate into employability, but his method of service did- from his home in Rose Hill, Kansas. n’t offer much. The real world has little use for combat skills. The old Jason Lilley hadn’t taken a shower in a month. His feet The new Jason Lilley would spend hours playing video games, were swollen inside his boots. The smell was like death itself. His each one a variation of the same war game, each one more Humvee passed through dozens of towns on the way to cathartic. The new Jason Lilley could just press restart when he Baghdad, each one more wrecked and ravaged than the last, each got hit by a bullet. The games provided an escape from the white covered in the haze of war. Electricity had long been cut, and noise of battle which he said haunted him some nights. most of the villages were steeped in raw sewage from busted He had the power to change things, to be a leader of men, to pipes. The people who inhabited the villages, though torn by take lives and save lives, but he didn’t have the power to secure war and circumstance, were usually happy to see Americans, a job at the post office or the power plant or anywhere else he whom they were certain would bring an end to the chaos. applied. He eventually took a job as a bouncer at a nightclub. On Jason Lilley was almost seven thousand miles away from one particularly busy night, he spotted a guy dancing on a table home, but he might as well have been on the moon. He was now where he wasn’t supposed to be. He told him to get down but the just skin and sinew and bones, existing on fewer than two MREs guy ignored him, so Jason pulled him to the floor. Then Jason a day, living beside other young men who equally missed their noticed the TV cameras in his face. homes and their girlfriends and who, The guy was the lead actor in an MTV besides doing what they were doing, reality show that was being filmed at Jason Lilley was awarded could think of nothing more impor- the club. the Silver Star for tant than singing, shouting, Avril Jason found another job at a compa- heroism in battle, the Lavigne’s “I’m With You.” ny that bought and sold motorcycles. third-highest honor It’s at this moment that the old He would return from work on most given in the military. Jason Lilley has found his home, a Photo by JASON WATKINS days, cursing the place and the people man among men, careening down a he worked with. dusty road through the open gates of “Man, I work with some idiots,” fate. he’d say. “I can’t believe how stupid some people are.” It’s hard to relate to your new co- THE NEW JASON LILLEY is sleeping workers when you’ve spent the last on the couch, his arm covering his two years getting shot at by people eyes, as I quietly walk out the door on who want to kill you, he’d say. my way to work. When I return, he’s It’s like everyone’s volume gets in the same position, but in the space turned down. between he has made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, slipped on his wetsuit, caught a few THE OLD JASON LILLEY sat at the decent waves, made another sand- wheel of his Humvee as it drifted wich, checked the mail, checked his e- across the flat desert. It was March 20, mail, picked up a job application, 2003, and the men of First Recon were called his brother, made another sand- leading a series of raids through wich, played a video game and taken southern Iraq in a push toward a nap. This is the sum of most days. Baghdad. They were at this moment The job at the motorcycle place did- the northernmost Americans in that n’t work out. Seems the main boss country. decided to fire Jason’s boss, his friend, First Recon, an ultra-elite fighting force responsible for leading the one who gave Jason the job in the first place. Both the new the most daring missions during wartime, is a band of tightly and the old Jason Lilley are loyal like wallpaper, so he walked knit young men who take pride in being the Marine Corps’ out of the place too. “cowboys.” They’ve endured much of the same hell as Navy The new Jason Lilley is, of course, broke and broken and bored SEALs but their numbers are far fewer; only the top one or two and wants nothing more than to be a part of something that car- percent of Marines get to try out for First Recon, and more than ries a fraction of the weight of being a Marine. He’s told to come half of those drop out. Once in, Recon Marines lead dangerous back tomorrow to speak to the boss, then told there’s nothing missions by foot to conduct surveillance, to take out enemy tar- open, but maybe next month, we just hired someone and we’ve gets and to attack. Their motto is “swift, silent and deadly.” got a full house, but good luck to you. He’s told he’ll need to take This was First Recon’s first wartime mission since leaving a class first, but that costs $800 and doesn’t start until next Camp Pendleton, a journey that would take them a thousand month. He’s told he’s overqualified, underqualified, appropri- miles north, across the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, through the ately qualified, but still nothing. fabled city of Babylon, to the capital city of Baghdad. It lasted During all this, my roommate Carlos and I supported his more than a month. growing sandwich habit. We helped him buy a car so he could Jason Lilley was in charge of getting the men in his Humvee widen his search area — his old car caught fire on the side of the from point A to point B, usually amid heavy gunfire, the possi- road and he left it there — but there was something with his bility of roadside bombings, through foreign terrain and across license or his registration so he didn’t drive the new one much. mine fields. If their caravan was attacked, he was expected to He borrowed my vehicle whenever he wanted to go on a date.

FALL ’05 SAN DIEGO DOWNTOWN 29

I found something noble in his ability to sit for days on end, were dead. I realized I was looking at first-hand relics from a war producing little more than a five o’clock shadow. I couldn’t fath- we still don’t understand taken by people who were there. om the things that haunted him some nights, the image of Iraqi Historians tell us we have to wait twenty years before looking children being maimed by rocket-propelled grenades, his fellow back at a war with any kind of reasonable understanding. I think Marines taking shrapnel in the head. And I certainly couldn’t that’s probably true. But on that night, surrounded by these three help him. Close though we were, I could never relate to him on men, I was a part of the story, looking at the pictures that will one that level. day become testament to who we were and how we lived. I was equally fascinated by the old Jason Lilley. His sense of Whatever my view of the war — which is still evolving — I’m humor was always on, a joke slipping from his tongue the instant thankful these men aren’t cowards. he fell asleep and a continuation of the same joke the minute he woke in the morning. He was ten times the man I was, ever hoped to be. He accepted duty with grace, death with respect THE OLD JASON LILLEY returned to Iraq last year for a second and fate with open eyes and a wide smile. His body endured time during the war. It was April 7 and Lilley’s platoon was weekly what would have killed me in a day. Maybe the only crossing the desert when a group of sixty Iraqi insurgents start- thing we shared in common was our first name, but we were still ed firing on their convoy. Five Marines were injured in the gun friends. battle, which lasted just a few minutes. Underneath, the new Jason Lilley was unraveling. “Anybody who tells you they were in combat and weren’t “I don’t know what to do,” he would say. “I don’t know why scared is lying,” he later told his hometown newspaper. “Every I can’t find a job.” day, every one of us was scared.” Keep at it, I’d tell him, offering him advice or job leads or just Seven thousand miles away, Jason’s mom, Janis South, is blind encouragement. The truth was, I couldn’t figure out either teaching a classroom full of students about music and wonder- why no one would hire him, a decorated war hero with disci- ing where her son is. “It was very, very hard to get up in front of pline, respect and a solid-gold work ethic. the kids and be happy and act like everything was great,” she “Marines have a pretty bad reputation,” he said. “They’re not said later. Sometimes she’d recognize the name of a Marine who very well liked around here.” I could see that. Businesses didn’t served in her son’s batallion and she’d slip away to a quiet place want a bunch of rough and rowdy “jarheads” at their place, but and “fall apart for a while.” the Marines I knew — mostly members of the First Recon who According to the official paperwork, Jason Lilley crossed the were friends of my roommate — were the most stand-up guys shallow waters of a canal and onto a berm where, against heavy Jason Lilley crossed the shallow waters of a canal and onto a berm where, against heavy enemy fire, he began shooting. This allowed the remaining Marines, who were far outnumbered, to retreat with their lives. Because of Jason Lilley, six Marines got to go home to their moms.

I’d ever met. Jason had the misfortune of being a great guy in the enemy fire, he began shooting. This allowed the remaining midst of punks. Marines, far outnumbered, to retreat with their lives. By the end, Sometimes, and without warning, the new Jason would share Jason had killed five Iraqis and had saved six of his friends. his old war stories, like the time they killed an Iraqi soldier and Because of Jason Lilley, six Marines got to go home to their had put him into the back of their transport vehicle to be identi- moms. fied later. Halfway down the road, Jason noticed his seat was unusually soft; when he looked down, he realized he was sitting on the dead soldier. THE NEW JASON LILLEY is standing in his dress blues in front “I was so pissed off,” he said. Not because no one told him. of 125 people in Wichita, Kan., flanked by other Marines and Because even dead enemies deserve respect. community leaders. Jason rarely spoke about the truly terrifying moments — days “It is our nation’s third highest combat medal and I’m proud when he was certain he was going to die and thought that maybe to honor Corporal Lilley and to say thank you for your service he already had. Occasionally I would ask about some detail and over and above the call of duty,” the city’s mayor, Carlos he’d answer my questions but say little more. It’s a heavy feeling Mayans, says. “You are an American hero and I salute you.” to be a part of someone’s life after they’ve gone through war. A Marine captain is in the crowd to pay his respects. It’s the Sometimes, though, when it was just us and after enough time first time in the captain’s twenty-two years in the service he’s had passed, Jason would share some story he’d hidden away, the seen the Silver Star awarded. telling of which sounded forced and unrehearsed like he had “It’s an honor to receive it,” Jason says later during an inter- never put it into words. view with the local news. “I just did my job, did what was asked One night, I joined Jason, Carlos and our newest roommate, of me, what anyone else would have done in the same situation.” Bryan “Trip” Thurmond, who was a distant relative of Senator He’s right and he’s wrong, for courage isn’t learned. It’s Strom Thurmond, at our computer to look at pictures they’d moments like those that create heroes and heroes become future taken in Iraq. Most were shots of nameless, smiling Marines grip- leaders of America. ping their weapons or playing cards. Some were graphic shots of He lives in Kansas now, surrounded by those who know both dead Jihadists, their heads blown away by Mark 19 bullets. versions of Jason Lilley, the old and the new. He’s starting a life as Marines posed by the bodies, proud of their kills — and maybe a civilian after living the tumultous existence that is southern proud that they were the ones smiling and not the ones who California, but he still misses it [ CONTINUED ON PAGE 37 ]

30 SAN DIEGO DOWNTOWN FALL ’05 the dogs of war [ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 30 ] here. Now, the only physical remnants of the old him is a hardened gaze, a bright silver medal and a tattoo across his chest that says “Today is a gift.” I spoke with him by phone recently, the day before he started a new job in con- struction making ten bucks an hour. “I’m nervous,” he says. “I know I’m going to hate it, I know I’ll be bored, I know it won’t be challenging. But I need to give this a shot, living as a civilian.” I encourage him, even though he’s probably right. “I’ve only given being a civilian nine months,” he says. “That’s not very long.” “How long is it supposed to take?” I say. “Exactly,” he says. “That’s what I’ve been thinking.” Tonight he was supposed to take his little sister to the movies but he’ll have to cancel so he can get ready for work in the morning. He says all he wants right now is to own a brand-new car. Not even an expensive one, just one he can drive without worrying about it catching on fire. “I just want something that’s nice,” he says. Then he tells me he’s been thinking about joining the Navy and becoming a SEAL. If I had a dollar for every time I Why are all heard someone say they were going to become a Navy SEAL, I could buy him these people smiling? that car, but when Jason Lilley says it, it doesn’t seem all that unreasonable. “I like serving my country, man,” he Because they are all wearing says. “I really do.” Invisalign, the clear way to straighten teeth. THE NEW JASON LILLEY is making a final dive into the cold water off the Invisalign straightens your teeth Carlsbad coast. It’s been six months since using a series of custom-made, near- leaving the Marine Corps and leaving the ly undetectable Aligners. It’s been best group of guys he’ll ever know. He’ll proven to be effective in both clini- soon return home to Kansas to start over cal research and in practices nation- and to accept the praise of a grateful wide. So whether your teeth are nation, but right now he’s using the last crowded, too far apart, or have shift- light of the day to ride the waves, pad- ed since wearing braces, Invisalign dling into them, then diving under, then will help you to start smiling more. paddling farther. Call today to schedule a William A. Barton I watch from the shore and realize that FREE appointment. D.D.S., M.S., P.C. in these fleeting moments, when the Certified Invisalign Doctor orange sliver of the sun sinks below the 10715 Tierrasanta Blvd., Suite F horizon and all light fades into a soupy San Diego, CA 92124 gray, Jason Lilley is disappearing into a 3202 Governor Dr., Suite 207. void created by war and peace and this San Diego, CA 92122 business of growing up. (858) 450-1334 It’s then that he begins to make peace TM start smiling more © 2003, Align Technology, Inc. with the old and the new and starts to Invisalign®is a registered trademark of Align Technology, Inc. become whole again. d

FALL ’05 SAN DIEGO DOWNTOWN 37 0302_ARM_DOM_00_040_00 (READ ONLY) 2/19/2009 5:39 PM Page 40

Lifelines

— make relating to non-military peers difficult, Conklin admits. “When Ryan told me he was in the military, I had a lot of new- found respect for him,” Cannon says. “A lot of the kids in the house were very liberal, saying that we shouldn’t be at war, we need to fight our own wars, but it was like Iraqvet a childhood dream of mine to go be a soldier. I wanted to go into the military but I didn’t nut up.” It often seems to viewers that Conklin strives harder than any cast member to understand the gets others. “I went in thinking, I’m just going to do anything and everything,” Conklin says. “So whenever roommates did something that they were involved in, they would always ask if anyone was interested. If I was free, I’d be like, ‘Yeah, I’ll go to your art show, Sarah.’ Or, ‘I’ll go to your interview, Chet.’ I get the chance to ‘Real’ meet other people in the process.” PHOTOS COURTESY OF RYAN CONKLIN Conklin is determined to be a Conklin, a cast member on MTV’s positive voice in a sea of anti-war Former Army infantryman Ryan Conklin “The Real World,” served with the sentiment. He got involved with Army’s 3rd Battalion, 187th Infantry the Iraq and Afghanistan Veter- does duty on popular MTV reality show Regiment, in Iraq. ans of America while in Brooklyn and plans to become more in- By Jason Watkins real.” Not surprisingly, as the sea- mom to sign a waiver — “She said volved, advocating for veterans [email protected] son’s only war vet, he found it dif- it was the heaviest pen and the rights. The group’s founder, Paul Ryan Conklin’s road to “The ficult to relate to his roommates. hardest signature she ever had to Rieckhoff, a former Army lieu- Real World” began in Baghdad “They didn’t really know any- write.” He rose to the rank of spe- tenant and author of “Chasing back in 2005. He was serving as a one who’s served in Afghanistan cialist (E-4) and served one year- Ghosts,” was impressed when guard in the Army’s Alpha Com- or Iraq,” he says, “and this many long tour, first in Baghdad and Conklin approached him. pany, 3rd Battalion of the 187th years into the war, I found that then in Tikrit. His unit was re- “That’s really courageous,” Infantry Regiment — kind of crazy.” sponsible for securing the perime- Rieckhoff says. “Just going to the the famed “Rakkasans” Conklin revealed his ter around the courthouse where VA is a good thing, but talking — during the first trial military background Saddam was tried; he remembers about it on television, I think of Iraqi leader Saddam slowly and only after watching the deposed leader being that’s a really important thing Hussein. He and his being prodded; eventu- escorted from a helicopter to a that he’s doing.” buddies were talking ally, though, he began shuttle during the trial. Conklin goes through ups and about future plans sharing more and even “It was just very busy every downs on the show, Rieckhoff says, when someone asked sang a couple of songs time he came in and went,” he but he puts a face on a war that’s him what he wanted to he wrote while in Iraq. says. faceless to a lot of Americans. do after his deployment. Conklin “I didn’t want any spe- Despite improvised explosive “He’s really got a chance to in- “I don’t know,” Con- cial treatment from WATCH NOW devices and sniper rounds, his spire a lot of other vets and edu- klin told them. “I’ll probably go to them,” he says. closest call came during a patrol cate the American public about college for a little bit and then I’ll In one episode, Conklin Watch “The Real World: with a quick-reaction force. what it means to be an Iraq veter- probably get on ‘The Real World’.” confronts a roommate and begins Brooklyn” every Wednesday “One day my platoon was parked an,” Rieckhoff says. What started out as a joke be- shouting. The others in the house at 10 p.m. EST on MTV. in an Iraqi army compound, so you “Even when you get out,” Con- came a reality when Conklin, 23, speculate it may be a result of kind of feel safe but you don’t real- klin says, “you have that mentali- happened to be in Pittsburgh post-traumatic stress disorder. of us,” Cannon said. “Any one of us ly feel safe,” he says. “You wait for ty that you look out for your bud- when MTV was holding an open Given his background, Conklin could have been made out to be the something to go boom in the city dies, so I guess my role with the casting call for the show, now in isn’t surprised. comedian or the angry person or and then you react to it. exposure of the show, it would be its 21st season. “With my experiences, I think the nice guy. All of us are humans.” “All of a sudden, not far away … a wasted opportunity if I didn’t do “I talked to my friends again on they kind of expect it out of me. I Cannon, a Mormon from Utah an explosion just ripped through something to put the word out the phone and I’m like, ‘you re- never saw it as a problem,” he who has cousins in the service, right next to all of our vehicles. We there that there are things that member when I always said I was says. “It’s just something I did, says he instantly identified with didn’t know what it was; some peo- need some help.” going to make it on “The Real and it’s something I can deal with Conklin. ple were thinking it was a rocket, Conklin has a lot going for him. World”? They have an open cast- on my own. Obviously, everyone “The thing I respect most about but I knew immediately. I was like, “I’ve actually written a pretty ing call. I’m going to live up to my has their own way of coping with Ryan is his loyalty,” Cannon says. ‘That was no rocket, there was no lengthy memoir of everything I joke and do it.’ things and everybody can vent in “There were kids that, because of preparatory sound or anything. It did over there,” he says. “I get it “And one thing led to another their own way. I had my own the way I dress, were trying to was a suicide bomber.’ ” out of my head, I get it off my and I actually made it on. It kind methods: my sarcasm, my music, call me out on the street and That night, Conklin got to chest and I get it on paper.” of makes the joke even funnier.” my pranks.” Ryan is the first one to get in thinking. “That dude could have He won’t say what the title is Conklin was one of eight Those pranks — like re-string- their faces. I don’t know if that’s come right over to our vehicles but he admits it will be, for better strangers picked to live in a ing his roommate’s shoelaces up- what the military did to him. He’s and he could have taken out a or worse, an honest account of his pimped-out house in Brooklyn, side down — were how he and his just kind of like a protector.” Humvee or he could have taken experiences in the military. have his life taped and “find out best friend from the show, Chet Before enlisting in “The Real out quite a few American soldiers.” “It made me who I am, whether what happens when people stop Cannon, bonded. World,” Conklin enlisted in the Experiences like that — and I like it or not. It was a chapter of being polite and start getting “Ryan got upset as much as any Army at 17 after persuading his losing two fellow soldiers in Iraq my life I’ll never erase.” Ë

40 Army Times March 2, 2009 ▲ 0119_AIR_DOM_00_024_00 (READ ONLY) 1/8/2009 11:58 PM Page 24 features @airforcetimes.com nes

Epic Gettysburg PENNSYLVANIA 80 81 li Cyclorama Gettysburg immerses viewer 76 83 MD. N.J. in Civil War battle Miles W.VA. 050 VA. D.C. DEL. By Jason Watkins Warinthe [email protected] all it an antique version of a

fe virtual reality game: A 30 painted canvas measuring C 377 feet around and 42 feet high that depicts, in painstaking Gettysburg

FITNESS AND FILM detail, the bloody Battle of Get- tysburg, complete with sound and light effects. 116 , F UN Gettysburg Li The Gettysburg Cyclorama, a round National Military 360-degree masterpiece complet- Park ed in 1884 by French artist Paul of Baltimore could read about the experience presents a unique op- Philippoteaux and newly re- cyclorama in a special brochure portunity: The opportunity to view Visitor Center 15 MILITARY MOONLIGHTERS opened to visitors, recreates Pick- advertising its opening. the 1863 battle in the same con- Are you working a second job ett’s Charge on July 3, 1863, the “This cyclorama of the Battle of text that battle veterans did when 15 to support your family? Do you decisive engagement during the Gettysburg …is, in every particu- they first saw the painting toward 134 supplement your income with Battle of Gettysburg when the lar, a true and accurate reproduc- the end of the 19th century,” Miles side work? Is your night job Union gained the upper hand tion of the whole mighty struggle, spokesman Robert Wilburn said in 01N more interesting than your day over Confederate forces. as it actually took place on July 3, a news release. job? We’d like to hear from you. The original oil canvas — 1863,” the brochure reads. Today, visitors can stand on the CHRIS BROZ/STAFF Tell us about it at groundbreaking in its time — took In 2003, conservation specialists elevated viewing platform and [email protected] nearly two years to complete and began restoring the aging painting take in a 360-degree view of the David Olin, who directed the and we may publish your story included actual battle objects for a as part of a $15 million restoration battlefield, complete with a nar- restoration, said it wasn’t intend- in a special series about service three-dimensional effect that was project, and it was opened to the rated — and intense — sound and ed to stand on its own. members and the weakening so powerful, some veterans of the public in a new state-of-the-art light show. Replica artifacts such “It was to be an experience — to economy. Be sure to include your battle reportedly cried at the sight. viewing room at the Gettysburg as boots and rifles once again lit- be wholly absorbed and felt,” he name, rank, current duty station It was first displayed in Boston, National Military Park visitors ter the foreground to blur the line said in the release. “It was to in- and phone number. giving the nation a novel way of center in September. between where the painting be- spire awe and amazement. Now, experiencing the battle. Residents “The new cyclorama painting gins and ends. for the first time in more than a

24 Air Force Times January 19, 2009 ▲ 0119_AIR_DOM_00_024_00 (READ ONLY) 1/8/2009 11:58 PM Page 25

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National Infantry Museum to open in Georgia

By Jason Watkins [email protected] The infantry is an often-overlooked but integral component of a wartime victory. Now, those who fight on the front lines are being honored with their own museum, slated to open March 20 in Columbus, Ga. The National Infantry Museum and Soldier Center at Patriot Park will be a 190,000-square-foot tribute to the infantryman, trac- ing his roots through every war fought by Americans. Among the PHOTO COLLAGE BY JASON WATKINS/STAFF 30,000 artifacts to be displayed in century, the viewer will once The Gettysburg Cyclorama, a the facility are Hermann Goer- again enter a realm in which their 360-degree painting, recently has ing’s field marshal baton and a senses will, if for just a moment, reopened to visitors to the battlefield. Civil War battle drum. place them in the midst of battle.” The museum will honor the Thanksgiving, valor and sacrifice made by in- The battle Christmas and New fantrymen, who represent 80 Seven score and six years ago, Year’s. Charges percent of those who die in bat- Confederate forces descended on apply for admission. tle in the U.S. armed forces, mu- the tiny Pennsylvania town, where www.nps.gov/gett seum officials contend, adding they were met by 94,000 troops of Don’t miss: The Sol- that more than half of all the Union Army. Three days diers’ National Medals of Honor are awarded to of bloody skirmishes between Cemetery, just off infantrymen. 165,000 soldiers followed; by July Baltimore Street, is Among the features of the new 3, 1863, nearly 51,000 were injured the final resting museum are an IMAX theater, a or killed, and the Confederacy was place of hundreds of parade ground, a walk of honor dealt a crushing defeat. Union soldiers. It’s and authentic World War II build- The Battle of Gettysburg, long also the site of the ings, including one used by Army regarded as the turning point of most memorable Gen. George S. Patton. the Civil War, remains as popular PHOTOS BY JASON WATKINS/STAFF speech in American The museum is near Fort a subject for historians as the bat- The Gettysburg battlefield is home to more than 1,400 Civil history: Abraham Benning and the Army Infantry tlefield is to tourists. War monuments, and the downtown is a shopper’s paradise. Lincoln’s Gettysburg School, the “Home of the Today, a visit to Gettysburg Na- Address, delivered Infantry.” tional Military Park can serve as weekend). It’s in the center of and antiques. Most shops lie four months after the battle. For details and a 10-minute a family getaway; located just town. 516 Baltimore St.; www along Baltimore Street and www.nps.gov/archive/gett/gncem video describing the planned mu- north of the Maryland/Pennsylva- .holidayinn.com Steinwehr Avenue, and in the .htm seum, visit www.nationalinfantry nia state line, the remote town is Eat: The Dobbin House Tavern, city square. Other stuff to see: Hard-core museum.com.Ë scenic, educational and — best of opened in 1776 and still serving Get the 411: The 139,000- history buffs can also visit the all — affordable, especially dur- traditional fare like “primal rib of square-foot Gettysburg National home of President Dwight D. ing winter months. beef” delivered by wait staff Military Park Visitors Center Eisenhower — learn more at Visitors can walk, ride horses (or dressed in period attire. It’s a pop- and Museum should be your first www.nps.gov/eise drive, depending on weather) along ular place, so make reservations. stop to get acquainted with the Before you go: Read Michael historic trails that join 1,400 mon- 89 Steinwehr Ave.; www.dobbin battlefield. The new, state-of-the- Shaara’s Pulitzer Prize-winning uments across the 6,000-acre park house.com; $19.95 to $34.95 art building cost $135 million to novel, “The Killer Angels,” a his- and take in the scenery just as the Shop: Gettysburg has a number construct and houses a stadium- torical retelling of the three-day soldiers saw it 146 years ago. of quaint shops selling Civil seating theater with an introduc- battle. The novel was the basis for War memorabilia; most are tory film (narrated by Morgan the 1993 movie “Gettysburg.” Plan your visit worthless tourist trinkets, but Freeman) and the restored Get- Find out more: Log on to the Get- Stay: The Holiday Inn Battle- some stores, such as the Horse tysburg Cyclorama. It’s open tysburg Foundation Web site for NATIONAL INFANTRY MUSEUM field, which has affordable rooms Soldier (www.horsesoldier.com), from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. (until 7 tips and resources for your visit. A scale model of the National Infantry (about $70 during an off-season specialize in historic artifacts p.m. in summer) every day but www.gettysburgfoundation.org. Museum, set to open this spring.

January 19, 2009 Air Force Times 25 1103_MAR_DOM_00_032_00 (READ ONLY) 10/23/2008 6:57 PM Page 32

Lifelines Safer water bottles

DO’S AND DON’TS ■ Do look for plastics that use the numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5 Toxic scare has drinkers on their recycling label. ■ Don’t microwave plastic bottles. diving for protection. ■ Do use glass or ceramic products when possible. ■ Don’t leave plastic bottles inside a warm vehicle. How to tell if yours is healthy, ■ Do look for “BPA-Free” labels on plastics. ■ Don’t store liquids in bottles for long periods of time. ■ Do call companies if you have concerns about their products. plus 8 great BPA-free bottles ■ Don’t fill water bottles with caustic or harmful chemicals.

By Jason Watkins [email protected] products containing BPA“are safe and hances are, every time you that exposure levels to BPAfrom food take a chug out of that contact materials … are below those that reusable plastic water bottle in may cause health effects.” your rucksack, you’re ingest- The FDA has the power to limit use of Cing trace amounts of bisphe- BPAin food containers and medical devices, nol-A, or BPA, a chemical some sci- but the report concludes that BPAexposure entists say can cause health defects. is not enough to warrant action. Various studies in recent years Still, retail giant Wal-Mart has announced it have shown that BPA—which is will begin to phase out most BPAplastics used used to harden plastics in every- for food containers, and big makers of reusable thing from reusable water bottles to water bottles such as Nalgene and CamelBak have eyeglasses — can mimic the effects debuted BPA-free versions while maintaining of the hormone estrogen and might the safety of their other products. lead to developmental problems in infants. In an editorial in the Journal of the Ameri- Small amounts of BPAcan “leech” out of the can Medical Association, doctors Frederick S. plastic and into your water, especially when vom Saal and John Peterson Myers accuse the heated, microwaved chemical industry of an “aggressive disinfor- IS YOUR BOTTLE SAFE? or left sitting for long mation campaign” that they likened to the periods. TOM BROWN PHOTO/JOHN HARMAN ILLUSTRATION/STAFF “manufactured doubt” developed by the lead Plastic water bottles that have a number “7” recycling However, scientists and tobacco industries. symbol on the bottom might contain BPA. To ensure are split on whether affect puberty and reproduction. “We shouldn’t wait until further studies are your bottle is safe, purchase bottles that carry a the threat is real, and The National Toxicology Program issued a done in order to act in protecting humans,” BPA-free label. the effects on adults, statement in September that cited “some con- said Dr. Ana Soto of Tufts University, who has they seem to agree, cern for neural and behavioral effects in fetus- called for more restrictions on the chemical. are less of a concern. es, infants and children at current human ex- To make sure the plastic water bottle in your According to the National Institutes of posures. ... The possibility that bisphenol-A pack isn’t slowly altering your brain, we found Health, there is “some concern” that low levels may alter human development cannot be dis- eight new BPA-free bottles available now. of exposure to BPAamong fetuses, infants and missed.” Drink up. children can lead to developmental problems in But the Food and Drug Administration down- behavior, in the brain and in glands that played the risk earlier this year, saying that The Associated Press contributed to this story.

32 Marine Corps Times November 3, 2008 ▲ 1103_MAR_DOM_00_032_00 (READ ONLY) 10/23/2008 6:57 PM Page 33

Lifelines

NALGENE 24 OZ. OTG BOTTLE INTAK BY THERMOS 24 OZ. HYDRATION BOTTLE This slim, impact-resistant bottle is dishwasher safe, won’t re- Available at Target tain tastes and odors, and is stores and featuring a made from Eastman Tritan useful rotating intake copolyester with no BPA. It fea- meter to let you monitor tures a unique hinged cap that’s your water consumption, this easy to carry and lets you open BPA-free bottle has a leak- the bottle with one hand. It also proof push-button lid and is fits in most cupholders. made from Eastman Tritan Retail price: Around $10 copolyester. Online: http://www.nalgene- Retail price: Around $10 outdoor.com Online: http://www.thermos.com

SIGG STEELWORKS 0.6 LITER BOTTLE NALGENE EVERYDAY TRITAN This Swiss-made bottle is With a 32-ounce capacity, this made of stainless steel and holds is the classic Nalgene water about 20 ounces of liquid. As- bottle. It comes in various col- sorted bottle tops are available ors, is dishwasher safe and, to replace the standard screw like all Nalgene bottles, can top. In true Swiss tradition, this withstand extreme tempera- bottle is a finely engineered tures — from 40 to 212 degress piece of gear. Fahrenheit. The screw-top cap Retail price: Around $20 is familiar to anyone who’s ever Online: http://www.sigg.com carried a Nalgene on a long haul. Retail price: Around $10 Online: http://www.nalgene- outdoor.com NALGENE 12 OZ. TODDLER GRIP-N-GULP Protect your future troops with Nalgene’s BPA-free toddler series, CAMELBAK .5L BETTER featuring a one-piece sipper and a BOTTLE W/ CLASSIC CAP minigrip design for small hands. Even better, it’s spill-proof. Not Like its Better Bottle microwave safe. Dishwasher safe. brethren, this half-liter version Retail price: Around $9 comes with a classic lid that’s Online: http://www.nalgene- interchangeable with Big Bites outdoor.com but might be preferred by those who don’t take small sips. Dish- washer safe. Retail price: Around $9 CAMELBAK .75L BETTER Online: http://www.camelbak.com BOTTLE W/BIG BITE This 750ml bottle comes in a va- KLEAN KANTEEN 800ML riety of colors and features CamelBak’s no-spill, Big Bite STAINLESS STEEL BOTTLE valve, which lets you sip without Aplastic-free alternative, this tipping the bottle. It’s also com- sturdy bottle looks like a scuba patible with CamelBak’s hands- tank and is made from non- free adapter and is dishwasher leeching, nontoxic materials safe. Available in 12 colors. with food-grade electropolished Retail price: Around $13 steel. Its wide mouth allows for Online: http://www.camelbak.com ice cubes. Retail price: Around $19 Online: http://www.klean kanteen.com

November 3, 2008 Marine Corps Times 33 0427_ARM_DOM_00_027_00 (READ ONLY) 4/16/2009 6:33 PM Page 27 Inside Lifelines Guantanamo Documentary looks at life in the controversial military prison NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC By Jason Watkins It’s a fact. There is nothing that A guard tower overlooks Camp Delta. There have been no escape attempts at the detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. [email protected] I’m not proud to talk to my kids “They’ve forgotten that we’re about or to explain to my mom,” protections. Allegations of torture, down here,” laments the soft-spo- Guantanamo’s commander, Rear including the notorious practice of ken, 23-year soldier as she reflects Adm. David Thomas, says to the “waterboarding,” are discussed at on her mission. “And they want to camera. length in the documentary. Gitmo at a glance sit there and they want to say, However, because of security con- “Questioning the detainees in ‘Well, they’re beating them.’ … I cerns, camera crews are severely this program has given us infor- Guantanamo Bay now houses that begin at 5:30 a.m. They haven’t ever beaten anybody. I’ve restricted in what they can show mation that has saved innocent nearly 200 detainees. carry a whistle, a radio and pep- never tortured anybody. And it re- within Guantanamo’s heavily forti- lives by helping us stop new at- å The facility was first put per spray; only the guards in the ally hurts. It’s like, ‘Look, I’m in fied walls — no detainees’ faces or tacks,” says then-President into use in 1903 as a coaling towers have live rounds. the Army, I’m serving our country, names or nationalities, no names George W. Bush in a 2006 clip. and naval station. In 1942, it å The 45 square miles of I’m trying to make it safe for you. of the guards, no critical infra- Not everyone agrees, including was used as a Japanese intern- land belong to Cuba but the And this is … structure. The military operates as Bush’s former secretary of state. ment camp. U.S. leases it — at $4,085 a the thanks I though Gitmo is a target for terror- “Guantanamo has become a å Today, more than 6,000 mil- year — from Fidel Castro. (He DON’T get?’ That’s re- ist attack, the narrator says, with major problem for the way the itary personnel, contractors and has reportedly stopped cashing ally what armed guards on constant patrol. world perceives America,” says detainees call Gitmo home. the checks.) MISS IT makes it real- What the cameras do capture, retired Army Gen. Colin Powell. Troops from all branches of å Camp 7 holds the “highest- ly hard.” though, are the prison’s routine “And if it was up to me, I would the military belong to Joint value” detainees; no journalists National Geographic The ser- inner workings — cell checks; de- close Guantanamo, not tomorrow, Task Force Guantanamo have seen it. Its location on the Explorer’s “Inside geant’s noble tainee transfers; the human, some- but this afternoon.” (JTF-GTMO). base is a secret. Guantanamo” debuted frustrations times combative, interaction å Troops work four days on, April 12 and will aptly capture among guards and prisoners. The Caught in political crossfire two days off, in 12-hour shifts Source: National Geographic re-air on the National the contradic- difference is, Guantanamo doesn’t Inextricably linked but far re- Geographic Channel. tions and house your common cat burglar. moved from the controversy are Check local listings for politics that Among those who now call Guan- the hundreds of military people many have returned to civilian Many disagree. Terrorism came air times. To find out shroud the tanamo home are members of who serve duty at Guantanamo, life in the Middle East, but some first, they say, not Guantanamo. more and watch a U.S. military al-Qaida, the Taliban and the checking cells, transporting de- have returned to the fight against “I don’t want them in our pris- panel discussion with prison at alleged co-conspirators of the tainees and securing the site. America. ons. I want them” at Gitmo, military and civilian Guantanamo Sept. 11 attacks, and they’re Some of the detainees first ar- Gitmo, says a former prisoner, Massachusetts Gov.Mitt Romney experts, visit www Bay, Cuba. housed across nine concrete and rived when the guards now did nothing but hurt the Ameri- said during his 2008 Republican .natgeotv.com/ For three steel maximum-security and medi- watching over them were still in can cause. presidential campaign. “Some guantanamo. weeks, a um-security camps — including at grade school. “They created more jihadists people have said we ought to close camera crew least one camp that no journalist The film captures the lingering against them,” says Omar Guantanamo. My view is we from National Geographic Ex- has ever seen. monotony of life in confinement: a Madani, a detainee who spent six ought to double Guantanamo.” plorer was granted broad access Still, Gitmo remains a highly guard helping a detainee choose years at Gitmo but was released As a documentary, “Inside to this hotly debated patch of visible facility. between a book by Louisa May Al- in May 2008. He is now in Kabul. Guantanamo” maintains neutrali- real estate. Shadowing military “For the military,” the narrator cott or Stephen King; the shouts As detainees were released, ty but presents a detailed picture guards, government leaders, at- continues, “Guantanamo is the and curses routinely delivered to says the narrator, stories of their of Guantanamo today. How we torneys and even former de- front for the war on terror. … The military guards by detainees; the detention spread throughout the treat enemy combatants will ulti- tainees, “Inside Guantanamo” eyes of the world are on these 12-hour days spent checking each Muslim world, and some say that mately be up to future genera- chronicles the specialized mis- guards. Any misstep can become cell every three minutes for sui- those stories have inspired the tions to judge. sion of the controversial military headline news.” cide attempts. next generation of jihadists. “Guantanamo, at moments, has prison: to detain suspected The film explains the ongoing Because of the limited access, “There are military officers who contained the best of America and enemy combatants of the U.S. battles questioning the necessity viewers never learn what charges, believe that the No. 1 and 2 the worst at the same time. It’s an The 90-minute documentary is — and legality — of the prison. if any, have been brought against leading, identifiable causes of amazing place,” says Lt. Cmdr. as much about life in the prison The Supreme Court on three oc- the detainees or what reasons the U.S. combat deaths in Iraq are, Charles Swift, a military lawyer as it is about the geopolitical con- casions challenged the Bush ad- military might have for their de- No. 1, Abu Ghraib and No. 2, who has defended several prison- troversies that surround it. ministration’s assertion that the tention. Viewers only learn that Guantanamo, because of their ef- ers. “And you see in individuals, For their part, troops assigned detainees at Guantanamo don’t fit many of them weren’t sought out fectiveness in helping recruit the heroic and beauty that is to run the facility appear proud of the Geneva Conventions’ defini- by coalition forces but were combat soldiers against American America, and at times you see their mission. tion of “enemies” and are therefore turned in by others, often for a forces,” says Alberto J. Mora, for- what we can be when we succumb “We’ve got nothing to hide here. not subject to the conventions’ cash bounty. When released, mer Navy general counsel. to our fears.” Ë

▲ April 27, 2009 Army Times 27 1020_ARM_DOM_00_044_00 (READ ONLY) 10/10/2008 6:53 AM Page 44

The END OF DAY ONE Call

PHOTOSBY CHRIS MADDALONI AND JASON WATKINS/STAFF

ARMY MMA GRAPHIC BY of the LISA ZILKA CHAVEZ/STAFF SOLDIERS SLUG IT OUT IN FULL-CONTACT FIGHT TOURNEY 58 militaryteams. 54.5 miles of pain. 46 DAYONE Could you hack this ultimate fitness test? 1 Mountain run: 5miles

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE: Visit www.militarytimes.com/wildernesschallenge08 2 Swim: Half mile for avideo of this year’sevent. 2 Whitewater raft: 14 miles

By Jason Watkins imaginable. “You guys are tough as nails,” [email protected] said Michael Bond, the event’s coordinator, DAYTWO here is perhaps no better way to build during ateam briefing. “I know you can do comraderie and teamwork than to this ... Amarathon has got nothing on you 3 Mountain bike: 14 miles receive acollective physical beating. guys.” Atotal of 58 four-person teams from Just ask the members of “The Devil’s all five branches competed for bragging 4 “Duckie” boat: 7miles Rejects,” afour-person team of Marines from rights in this year’s event, hosted by the Camp Lejeune, N.C., that we followed in the Mid-Atlantic Region Morale, Welfare and 5 Mountain hike: 14 miles 8thannual All-Military Wilderness Recreation Department. The winning group Total miles: 54.5 features @armytimes.com Challenge near Fayetteville, W.Va. The two-

nes —aCoast Guard team from Boston — day event offers service members the walked away with an engraved wooden opportunity to take in some of the world’s trophy and countless bumps and bruises most scenic vistas in exchange for suffering to show for their

li some of the cruelest body poundings hard work.

THE TEAM STATS

Team 112 ‘The Devil’sRejects’ —Marine Corps Total Overall: 8th Place

fe Total Time: 9hrs. 15 mins. 59 secs.

Cpl. Simon Miller, 25 (team captain) Legal Admin. Li Cpl. Justin Jindra, 22 Heavy Village of Equipment Thurmond WHAT’S ON YOUR SHELF Mechanic Tell us your favorite book to read 4 on deployment and you Cpl. Kristen could win the $75 Steil, 22 coffee-table book Motor “World War II: A Transportation 7-mile “duckie” boat Chronology of Mechanic War.” Send your Participants were paired up in “duckie” boats (inflatable kayaks) “There’snoshame in and paddled down the swift —and chillingly cold —New entries to Sgt. Juan River.The middle of the river had the fastest currents —and features Galvan, 21 getting off [your bike]. Don’t take the highest potential for getting dumped out of the boat. Plenty @military Motor too many chances. Youguys gotta go of boats and team members flipped while traversing the times.com. Transportation back to work on Monday.” Surprise Rapids, afast-moving stretch on the bend of the river Mechanic —Michael Bond, event coordinator that features class Itoclass III rapids.

44 Army Times October 20, 2008 ▲ 1020_ARM_DOM_00_044_00 (READ ONLY) 10/10/2008 6:53 AM Page 45

“In the end, really,Idon’t think the rafting counts for much because I’ve seen teams do horribly in the rafting and kayaking, but as long as they run and they do good in the bikes, [they do well overall]. To me it’sjust luck.” —Marine Cpl. Simon Miller

Laurel Creek 2

Heaven Help YouRapids

2 Half-mile swim 14-mile whitewater raft FINISH One member from each team swam downstream for half amile to rendezvous with his or her raft. Twoteams were placed in a nine-person raft, with one experienced river guide, and continued down the Gauley River for five miles, through 35 separate rapids. Awhitewater guide can make or break ateam. Marine Cpl. Simon Miller said his boat had aless-than-stellar guide. “He was horrible,” he said. “He fell out, he dropped his paddle New River and we had to go backwards to get it.” Gorge Bridge 1 DAYONE: 5-mile mountain run 3 START For the Challenge’sfirst event, 58 teams of four,each with one woman, traversed five miles of scenic trail 14-mile mountain hike and unpaved road skirting the Gauley River.“The Hands down the toughest part of the number one goal here is to finish and to be nice to course, the hike featured 14 miles of some each other.Those are pretty much the only rules we PA. of the most rugged trails in the have,” event coordinator Michael Bond said. 70 Appalachians and crossed below 77 MD. the New River Gorge OHIO 79 W.VA. Bridge, the longest 66 Charleston VA. D.C. steel-arch bridge in 64 the Western Fayetteville 95 DAYTWO: Hemisphere. Some Miles teams, like “The 81 14-mile mountain bike 075 Devil’sRejects,” ran JOHN HARMAN/STAFF Rising before the sun, teams for most of the assembled near the bank of the New grueling hike. They River.The teams left 30 seconds apart finished second among RACERACE RESULTS RESULTS and traveled 14 miles along the the Marine Corps teams picturesque trail to the village of and eighth overall. 1ST PLACE Thurmond. Participants rode their own ‘Duckie Fuzz &The Masters of Rubber’ mountain bikes across mud puddles —Coast Guard and dangerous switchbacks. “If you ■ Lt. Cmdr.Dan Deptula (team captain) miss one of these switchbacks going 5 ■ Lt. Brian Maggi too fast,” Bond said, “you’re going to ■ MK3 Chris Tull get so much airtime that you’re going ■ Lt. Cheryl Hickey to be able to figure out what you did Total Time: 8hrs. 11 mins. 53 secs. before you even hit the ground.” 2ND PLACE ‘Dale Milton Racing’ —Marine Corps ■ Maj. Keith Parrella (team captain) ■ Maj. Rhesa Ashbacher ■ Capt. Craig Clarkson ■ Maj. Jeff Groharing Total Time: 8hrs. 43 mins. 29 secs.

Surprise 3RD PLACE Rapids ‘The Copper Collars’ —Navy ■ NDC Don Thrush (team captain) ■ NDC Cass Schussler “So far,I’ve never had much luck in the ■ PO1 Bryan Edwards water sports. There’salways next year,though.” ■ Lt. Sarah Wilson —Marine Cpl. Simon Miller Total Time: 8hrs. 43 mins. 29 secs.

October 20, 2008 Army Times 45 0209_ARM_DOM_00_034_01 (READ ONLY) 1/29/2009 2:10 PM Page 34

Lifelines Country ontour STAFF SGT.MATTHEW CLIFTON/ARMY friendly” vibe, he says, and troops often become part of the Singer Mark Wills deploys show. “We cuss a lot more,” he jokes. He also asks who in the crowd is to war zone to entertain troops a fan of country music — and who is not. By Jason Watkins show support for our troops.” To those who are not, he says, [email protected] Although Wills has no military “tough s--- — it’s a free show.” Country music star Mark Wills experience — his father was “It’s honestly the best crowd enters the U.S. Army Band drafted into the Army during the you will ever play for as a per- recital hall at Fort Myer, Va., Vietnam War and served with former,” says Kevin Key, 30, and greets a crowd of two dozen the 101st Airborne — his fellow Wills’ lead guitarist. “I always musicians, sound technicians, musicians have decorated ser- look forward to a military crowd USO reps and Army personnel. vice records: Morgan served on because they just appreciate “These are my war buddies,” active duty for 10 years with the everything you do.” Wills says, “the guys I’m travel- Army’s 101st and 82nd Airborne Wills has traveled to the Mid- ing with now.” divisions, and Thomas is a for- dle East eight times since the Wills and his new crew have mer staff sergeant in the Army’s outbreak of the war in 2003, and gathered for a quick rehearsal 75th Ranger Regiment. He par- each time, he says he’s reminded Dec. 15 and will catch an early ticipated in the ill-fated Battle of of why he goes. flight the next day to spend near- Mogadishu, memorialized in the “It gets into your blood and you ly two weeks traveling to forward book and film “Black Hawk COURTESY OF MARK WILLS can’t get rid of it. Once you feel operating bases in Iraq and Down,” and was awarded a Country star Mark Wills travels by helicopter in Iraq in September. Top, Wills the satisfaction of being able to Afghanistan to meet and perform Bronze Star for valor. performs during the Sergeant Major of the Army’s holiday USO tour in December. go over and entertain,” he says, for service members as part of “Those guys are the real deal,” “you almost crave it. the Sergeant Major of the Army’s Wills says. “I think the theory Wills and longtime friend Mas- are our brothers in arms. Just “This tour, going overseas, is Hope and Freedom USO Tour. for myself, for Craig, for Keni ter Sgt. Caleb Green, a vocalist like the real Army.” not about selling records to me,” “I kind of feel like it’s my tour,” and for everybody on this tour is with the U.S. Army Band, share “You couldn’t write the right Wills says. “I don’t care if one Wills, 35, says of his eighth trip to touch as many soldiers as we photos of their families on their words, you couldn’t write the person in the military ever buys to the war zone. “I take a lot of can — to shake hands and talk iPhones while the other perform- right song to convey what hap- my album. That’s not what we go ownership over it.” and sign pictures.” ers rehearse. pens on this trip,” Green said. for. That’s not what I go for.” Wills has recruited fellow Wills goes through a three- “He’s a headliner and he could Wills willingly accepts the dan- He’s seen celebrities accept country musicians Craig Morgan song set of hits, including the be anywhere in the world doing gers of a combat-zone venue. USO invitations so they can feel and Keni Thomas for this trip, perennial favorite “Nineteen what he wanted to do, getting Last September, he suffered se- close to the action or, worse, re- which has become an annual Something,” which spent seven paid,” Green says, “and he chose vere dehydration while filming ceive credit for supporting the holiday event. Comedian Louis weeks atop the country charts in to hang out with the little guys “My Military Diary” in Iraq for troops. CK, sports commentator and 2002, before turning the stage like us, which is cool.” GAC — he refers to the trip as “I go because I enjoy it. I go be- model Leeann Tweeden and sev- over to Morgan and Thomas. He “I do get paid,” Wills jokes. “I the “IV Tour” — and has been cause it’s Christmas, and what eral Miami Dolphins cheerlead- spends a few minutes packing get $25 a day.” closer to mortar and machine- better way to give some man or ers also are in the lineup. necessary gear — a Kevlar hel- Their friendship has blossomed gun attacks than he’d like. some woman a Christmas pre- “I grew up playing army,” Wills met, a bulletproof vest (he pur- over years of USO tours where Still, he keeps re-enlisting. sent that you’ve never met in says, “so when the opportunity chased his own), clothes — and they have performed together, “You can’t deter me from your life than by taking a little arose for me to be able to give places his ruck into a neatly and they share “war stories” going,” he says. Iraq is “no more entertainment to them,” he says. back and do something like this, stacked line of bags before from trips past. dangerous than Detroit.” “And I’d like to think that if I I jumped at it. Because I think spending the rest of the after- “You’ve heard the whole thing When he performs for soldiers, were in the military, maybe one of this is one of the coolest things noon catching up with old of brothers in arms,” Wills says. sailors, airmen and Marines, his my favorite singers would come that any American can do — friends. “Really, for what we do, these show takes on a more “adult over and do a show for me.” Ë

34 Army Times February 9, 2009 ✯ ▲

ESSAY DogMy Cody

BY JASON WATKINS

HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND, my trusted sidekick, my unfail- ing partner in crime and my most loyal confidant. He was, of course, just a dog, but puppy love is perhaps the purest of the form because it is unburdened by the dramas and disappointments of humans and their baggage.

san diego pets magazine 31

I got him when I was thirteen. For months I had begged my As Cody grew, we laughed at his awkward progression from mom for a golden retriever puppy, had cut out pictures from pet fur ball to awkward puppy, his limbs and paws too big for his catalogs to soften her. I even picked out a name—Cody, strong body and his movements a mixture of marginal dexterity and and simple yet sensitive—in support of the universal truth that aloofness. But he, like most golden retrievers, was blessed by a all boys should have a dog. But she would have none of it, claim- quiet affection for his newly adopted family and he showed us ing that I would lose interest in a dog, that I lacked the requisite patience and grace in our endeavor to mold him into a well- commitment to care for a living thing. She said any dog of mine trained, disciplined member of the clan. His body soon filled out, would suffer a miserable existence, a fair point considering my his movements gaining agility and his coat becoming a thick, spotty record. In the dozen years I had been alive, I'd either lost brilliant blanket of orange velvet. or misplaced a kitten, two goldfish, a snake named Spanky, One of the few amenities we enjoyed growing up was a swim- another snake with no name, a turtle, a box full of horned toads, ming pool in our backyard. Cody took to it like, well, a bird dog more than a dozen stuffed animals and a horse. (The horse, I to water, eventually jumping off the diving board and paddling later learned, was shipped off to a “happier place” after my to the other side where the steps were. We called it the Cody brother and I lost interest in him, but I always carried around a Crawl. Friends loved it. My mother hated it because she was left secret suspicion that my neglect caused his demise.) In fact, the with the task of cleaning out the pool filter. His favorite activity, only creature that hadn’t hastily throw, was playing fetch. Every fled my company was an alley year for Christmas, Cody got a cat named Tigger who, loyal to new package of bright yellow his core, could not be driven tennis balls which we would away. through endlessly as he bounded Because I had an older brother across the yard (or pasture or who showed no interest in my through the house), returning a suitability as a playmate (or in few seconds later with the ball. my existence), I grew up believ- He insisted that we throw it ing I was an only child. On top of again, and again (and again) until that, I grew up in the rural south- one of us exhausted, and he west, ten miles from the nearest never exhausted. He held onto town and surrounded by cows each ball until its integrity was and coyotes, so my need for a real compromised by doggy slobber friend was not imaginary. This and dirt, and then he’d go find a time would be different, I told stick or cow patty until we could my mother. I will not somehow produce another ball. It was in snuff this puppy. those moments, from the point of My mother picked me up from separation of the ball from our school on the day I turned thir- hand until he clutched it again in teen. Because junior high was his mouth, as the ball began and particularly hard on me, having maintained its arch and then fell introduced me to a world of bul- back to earth, that Cody was the lies and minor injustices, my ride happiest. I sometimes wondered home was always a quiet affair. if we facilitated this meaningless But this day was different; sitting act for his benefit or if he was just on the seat next to mine was a keeping us busy so we’d stay small box, wrapped neatly in around longer. paper, the four sides folded one over the top of the other to hide DURING MY SOPHOMORE the contents but just barely. I put year of high school, my friend the box on my lap and said that I Tammy and I were to present a would open it later. Then the box fictitious product in our speech began to move. When I opened one of the flaps, then another, a class. Our visual aide was Cody, outfitted in a device we claimed knowing grin stretched across my face. There, staring back at me would serve as a contraceptive for dogs to spare them the indig- with two pin-point, black eyes was Cody, a month-old butter- ity of, you know, being neutered. Cody, not our concept, was a scotch ball of fur. My mother had driven four hours roundtrip to hit. And because his attention could really only be held by the pick him up from a breeder. He was registered with the round, yellow ball in front of him, one of our classmates thought American Kennel Club as Cody Watkins, the first thing in my life it might be funny to see him fetch, so he threw the ball fifty yards over which I possessed official ownership. down the hallway as Cody, with all the grace of a car wreck, slipped and slided from one end to the other. Students in other HE SLEPT IN A MAKESHIFT KENNEL beside my bed for those classrooms stared in confusion as an orange bullet blew past first sleepless months. After learning the rhythms and rules of their door, then again on the return trip. our home, he earned a place atop my bed. Even then, he required Partly because of this and partly because of his beauty and constant care—frequent trips outside, food, water, petting, charm, Cody became something of a celebrity in my hometown. love—all at the risk of ceaseless whimpering. It’s said that the He was featured occasionally in my high school and community bonds of love are cemented at first sight, but I believe they begin newspapers (I was on staff at both) and made appearances at in moments like these when the happiness and survival of anoth- social events. People asked about him not in the way one might er creature rests squarely on your shoulders and comes at some ask about a pet but in a truly interested way. He was like my con- small or imagined sacrifice. siderably more handsome and more popular brother, and I

32 san diego pets magazine found myself, deep in throes of my own teen angst and longing and hunting partner. Tip, my uncle’s puppy, had taken up resi- for attention, acutely jealous. dence at our house and trailed Cody wherever he went, sometimes invading too closely into Cody’s personal space. No longer MY FAMILY LOVED CODY AND IN TURN he loved each one a spring chicken, Cody did his best to tolerate the tightly wound of us, particularly our other pets, who approached all newcom- pup but sometimes he would indulge Tip and set off on some ers with a mix of trepidation and disgust. But soon he and Tigger journey to a distant ranch, both dogs returning at the end of the were fast friends and he and Misty, my brother’s dog, were soul- day thirsty and tired. mates. On many days, the four of us would set out armed with a My relationship with Cody soon faded, though, as the existen- pellet gun into the fields of a neighboring ranch to hunt small tial crises of college and adulthood claimed most of my waking game, Tigger trotting along to keep pace while Cody and Misty hours and I returned home less and less. As he got older, I sus- ferretted out rabbits and sparrows or the occasional skunk. I was pected that each time I saw him would be my last and my base camp, dispatching the troops to every near and distant farewells were usually short but poignant, like visits to a dying landmark within our slowly expanding world. There, in the relative. But each time I returned, he was right there on the porch august light of summer, a boy and his dog (and his cat and his where I last saw him, sometimes with a tennis ball in his mouth, brother’s dog) held court over a postage stamp of land, the only sometimes not. world the three animals would Just before Christmas last year, ever know. Sometimes the exis- I got a call from my mother tence of a loyal pet in the life of a telling me that Cody had taken a child is his first sign that the turn for the worse and she was world may not be such a bad forced to make the difficult deci- place, that perfection, though Someday, sion to have him put to sleep. For fleeting, exists. a moment I said nothing, then The day Misty died, Cody we’ll all be sighed and told her it was for the searched for her for hours, finally best. “He shouldn’t have to suf- resting his head on the front called to our fer,” I told her. “You did the right porch as the gravity of the situa- thing.” I knew I couldn’t have tion closed in on him. During his made the decision myself, that I formative years, she was the clos- maker and would have selfishly chosen to est thing to a maternal figure in prolong his suffering in order to his life. Cody was just a dog, of we’ll be delay my own. And I thought course, but he was a smart dog about Tip, now friendless on the and he knew that an unfillable front step. void had been created by her judged by I regretted not being there, not passing. He mourned the death holding Cody as he breathed his of Miss Watson, our bassett the dogs we final, doomed breaths, not being hound that lived through more able to say goodbye. I knew–we presidential administrations that loved and all knew–the day would come I had. He mourned the death of when we would be forced to Gator, who didn’t die but whose accept Cody’s passing from our ownership was reappropriated the dogs who family but I always imagined the after eating ten two many of our circumstances would be a little shoes. And eventually, along loved us. different, though how I’m not with the rest of the family, he quite sure. The truth was, it had mourned the death of Tigger, been years since Cody and I were who had finally succumbed to close, and I doubt his last the predators of the desert. On moments of clarity were filled the day Cody and I discovered with rememberances of me and his lifeless body in the middle of of Tigger and all of our other a cow pasture, the victim of a coyote or an owl, Cody stopped in friends during those untroubled days of my youth when nothing front of his remains as if to pay his final respects. Then, as I mattered, not even schoolyard bullies. The truth is, he wasn’t just placed the river rock at the head of Tigger’s grave in the south- a dog. He was my friend. And when he finally did slip into that west corner of our field, Cody genuflected again. So this is how deep sleep, I like to imagine him entering his next life the same it’s going to be, his eyes said. Get attached to something and then way he first entered mine: with furry ears a-flopping and a furi- lose it. ously wagging tail. Because someday, we’ll all be called to our And so it went, for the remainder of his life was marked by the maker and we’ll be judged by the dogs we loved and the dogs slow umooring of friendships and alliances in the name of time who loved us. or progress. He sat on the front porch as my brother drove away People ask me all the time what it was like growing up in the to college, and he sat on the front porch the day I drove away to middle of nowhere, with no playmates and with nothing to do. college, though by now he was no longer a puppy with an unfil- It must have been boring, they say. You must have led a lonely lable appetite for chasing tennis balls but had grown into a stal- existence. wart protector, a patriarchial sentry who watched over our fam- You wouldn't understand, I tell them. ily and home, quickly rising to greet every new visitor with a cold, wet nose and an appeal to play a little fetch. When I came home on weekends and holidays, Cody would Jason Watkins is the editor of San Diego Downtown magazine and be waiting there on the front porch, now with a new playmate design director of San Diego Pets. He is originally from New Mexico.

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