<<

You’re Welcome for My Service: “Dysfunctional ," Stolen Valor, and the Social Groups of Post-War Soldiers

by

Caleb Bielby, B.A.

A Thesis

In

History

Submitted to the Graduate Faculty of Texas Tech University in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of

MASTER OF ARTS

Approved

Dr. Randy McBee Chair of Committee

Dr. Gretchen Adams

Col. Dave Lewis

Mark Sheridan Dean of the Graduate School

August, 2019

Copyright 2019, Caleb Bielby

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019

Acknowledgements

For helping me along my path of research and writing, I would like to thank my committee of Dr. Randy McBee, Dr. Gretchen Adams, and Col. Dave Lewis. Dr. McBee offered me the flexibility for my research to find its own path and the direction to keep it grounded and relevant in the field of social history. Dr. Adams has helped shape my research interests in a profound way while always being a supportive advisor throughout my undergraduate and graduate schooling and continuously offering exceptional insight into the field of memorialization. Col. Lewis has provided unparalleled understanding regarding the shape of the modern community and developments made in the realm of psychiatric treatment and assistance for returning veterans.

As this thesis is my stepping-stone into the world of education, I believe that Dr.

Richard Verrone and Dr. Gary Bell deserve a special mention. Dr. Verrone has had a tremendous influence on the way I look at a teacher’s role in relation to their students and without seeing him consistently practice a student-first mindset I doubt that I would be half as prepared to walk into a classroom as I am today. Dr. Bell has also given me continuous encouragement and helped shape my instincts in the teaching of history and the philosophy of teaching as a craft.

Finally, this thesis would not have been possible without the veterans who volunteered not only their time but their experiences so that I may gain a more complete understanding of what they each endured. Without their openness and candor, this research could not have become what it is today. I hope that I have been able to do their experiences justice in this short amount of space.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements ...... ii Abstract ...... v List of Figures ...... vi Chapter I- Introduction ...... 1 Background and further readings ...... 4 In support of oral histories and personal accounts: My case-study sources...... 8 Chapter II- Cucumbers and Pickles ...... 13 Whose voice do you listen to?...... 14 What is the infantry/combat arms? Why does it matter? ...... 18 What are grunts like?...... 26 What is the modern battlefield? ...... 27 What is combat really like? ...... 31 What is it that bonds combat veterans or fellow combat arms soldiers? ...... 33 The mental health crisis of veterans ...... 34 Why the discrepancy between perception and reality? ...... 39 Closing thoughts ...... 42 Chapter III- Commemorating Combat ...... 44 Analyzing soldier-produced digital memorabilia in the War on Terror...... 46 Methodology ...... 48 The Pre-YouTube Era ...... 50 The Age of Viral Videos ...... 58 When the fight turns ugly ...... 63 When the fight gets funny ...... 67 Getting the “”...... 69 Civilian videos about the War on Terror ...... 72 Closing thoughts ...... 74 Chapter IV- You’re Welcome for My Service ...... 78 What has remained the same? ...... 82 Did you kill anyone? ...... 92

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What makes War on Terror vets different? ...... 93 What is it like to be a GWoT veteran? ...... 96 Dysfunctional Veterans ...... 103 The funny and positive veterans...... 108 Seeking help after the ...... 116 Do non-veterans find a place in veteran culture? ...... 120 Stolen Valor: Civilians forcing themselves into veteran culture...... 124 What is Stolen Valor? ...... 126 What does Stolen Valor reflect? ...... 128 Chapter V- Conclusion ...... 133 Veteran Monologues ...... 136 Bibliography ...... 145 Books:...... 145 Articles: ...... 147 Web Articles:...... 149 Images: ...... 152 Videos: ...... 152 Oral History Interviews: ...... 156 Appendix A ...... 159 Oral History Interview Agreement Sample:...... 159 Appendix B ...... 160 Oral History Interview Questions: ...... 160

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Abstract

In the aftermath of any war, returning veterans have always had to find their place in society. Contrasted against the experience of World War II and Vietnam veterans, it will be shown that not only have War on Terror veterans taken a very active role in shaping their own culture but that many veterans also take an active role in shaping the narrative of their wartime experience. This analysis of veteran culture from the War on

Terror serves to add knowledge to the historical fields of memory, war and society, and cultural history.

Briefly discussing the experience of combat as described by many veterans from

World War II, Vietnam, and the War on Terror- it is imperative to establish the reality of military life and engaging in battle. War on Terror veterans are shown to differ from previous generations as they take an active role in memorializing their own wartime experiences. Proving themselves very adept at adopting a digital medium rather than physical space for such memorials, War on Terror veterans take agency in shaping the ways in which they wish to be remembered. Remaining largely in the digital world, modern veterans have used online communities to form their own culture of clothing choices, mannerisms, speech, entertainment selections, and overall demeanor all based on the collective experience of serving during a highly digital and overly scrutinized, twenty-first century war.

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List of Figures

Figure 1-The high self-confidence of the infantryman...... 23

Figure 2-Another classic infantry opinion...... 23

Figure 3- Kyle during his TIME interview...... 99

Figure 4- Kyle in a promo photo for his company, Craft International...... 99

Figure 5- “Post-POTUS” by Max Uriarte ...... 112

Figure 6- “Offended II” by Max Uriarte ...... 112

Figure 7- “Hat’s Off” by Max Uriarte ...... 113

Figure 8- “Breaking News” by Max Uriarte ...... 113

Figure 9- “Anatomy of a Veteran” by Max Uriarte ...... 114

Figure 10- Release document for interviewees ...... 159

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Chapter I

Introduction

How can you tell that someone is a veteran? Well, if they are a Marine, they will probably tell you within the first minute or so of meeting them. But other than being told, how would you know? Is it the way they stand or the way their eyes can typically wander around the room, checking people’s hands and body language? If you are able to identify a veteran without them telling you, there was something about them that gave you a clue.

In this thesis I will argue that the culture and image of War on Terror veterans, specifically those who served in combat, is already vastly intricate and firmly definable despite the fact that the war is still ongoing. Furthermore, veterans of the War on Terror will be shown to have a direct role in the shaping of the image of modern veteran culture which stems mostly from the culture of veterans from generations past combined with the global connectivity provided by the Internet Age. Based on books, or television, or movies, many people are able to key in on what a veteran in the twenty-first century looks or acts like and because of those same pieces of pop-culture many people may also think they know what an American veteran has experienced. Each veteran from each of

America’s most recent wars (WWII, Korea to a lesser extent, Vietnam, Desert Storm to a lesser extent, and the War on Terror) all have certain characteristics associated with the war that was fought and what happened in society upon their return. Vietnam veterans have an image in our cultural memory of a downtrodden individual not able to find work.

World War II veterans are remembered as fighting evil overseas and returning to become

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captains of industry and business tycoons as members of the Greatest Generation. But

what is the image and narrative associated with a War on Terror veteran and more

importantly is it accurate?

The has always been a nation fighting something. Whether fighting

for independence physically in the 18th century or fighting ideologies like communism

across the globe in the 20th century, America has sent (mostly) young men around the

world to defend our interests. This also means that America has had almost 250 years of

veterans leaving the military and returning to civilian society. This modern era is

obviously no different as well over two million Americans have deployed in support of

the War on Terror and subsequently returned home.1

A veteran of these wars in the Middle East carries with themselves some distinct

traits never before seen in war veterans as well as many attributes that directly mirror that

of their fighting forefathers. In the past, the image of a war veteran from any particular

war would typically be shaped after the troops had come home and the war had ended.

However, in the modern era of American culture traditions from the past merge with new

trends that evolve at exponentially faster rates thanks to the interconnectivity offered by

technology. Centered primarily around traits developed within the infantry, modern

veteran culture has developed a niche among millions of Americans thanks to the

internet.

The main problem when talking about any aspect of military life with most

citizens off the street is their general lack of knowledge about the subject. Therefore, it is

crucial to establish a baseline of what is the norm within the military. At the same time,

1 Luis Martinez and Amy Bingham, “U.S. Veterans: By the numbers”, ABC News, Published November 11, 2011. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/us-veterans-numbers/story?id=14928136 2

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“the military” is far too broad a scope to use when examining the experiences of veterans.

Instead, specific attention will be paid to the infantry and combat arms sections of the

Army and Marine Corps, in order to contrast the true, recorded experience of those fighting in ground combat with what Hollywood has presented to the American public in immediate post-war years. Taken almost exclusively from primary sources, the experience of combat and those who make their living taking part in it will be explored in all its horror and humor.

As veterans have returned from wars in years past the state has sought to remember what it sent its military to go and accomplish. War memorials are a standard part of organized society dating back thousands of years but again, technology offers new opportunities on this front. Rather than explore the ways in which the American government has chosen to memorialize those who gave their lives in this still ongoing conflict, I choose to explore the way veterans remember their own time in combat and those who did not return. By being able to post anything online, the Age of Information gives everyone equal footing if they want to spread a message. Seizing their own narrative, veterans have fielded videos mostly on YouTube and opened a door into a very personal time in their lives allowing the general public to see what they have lived through. At the same time, this digital remembrance bridges a gap by offering a glimpse into the true nature of combat but also into the already well-developed subculture of War on Terror veterans.

Just as veterans did not wait for the war to end before emplacing their own shrines to service online, they have also taken an active role in shaping what it means to be a post-9/11 service-member. Able to spread essays, memes, and videos just as easily as

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 their memorials, veterans have turned to the internet in order to connect across the country, form support networks, and simply empathize with one another about the struggle of reintegration. Affected by rapid deployment cycles, a seemingly oblivious homefront, and a medical system that treats symptoms rather than the disease, it is no wonder modern veterans have turned inward to find a sense of community.

Each war a nation participates in brings its own strategic challenges- both in terms of foreign policy and domestic policy. Rather than focusing on the intricate details of operations and missions, I choose to focus on the culture that veterans create for themselves both in and out of the military. While some difficulties like trying to find a job while still dealing with the stress of combat are not new to post-9/11 veterans, being able to reach out for assistance online is. An airman who repaired jet engines in the 60’s may not be able to relate to the combat experience of a soldier who fought in the Tora

Bora mountains but both of them can identify with the way the general public misrepresents their time in the military. Seeking to give an accurate description of the experience of combat, the way modern veterans have found to commemorate their military experience, and how they shape their lives afterward, this research offers a candid account of the way modern service-members reflect on their time in and out of uniform.

Background and further readings

While the veteran-civilian relationship is a niche aspect of American culture, it has been studied by a number of historians. For someone desiring a greater background in the area of memory studies and the roles of veterans in American society, there are a select group of researchers offering some insight on the matter. Ronald Carpenter and his 4

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discussion of the rhetoric surrounding expeditionary American forces in the past century

would be a good starting point for understanding how American society talks and thinks

about soldiers.2 Carpenter emphasizes the importance that phrases, cliches really, can

have on our society as Americans see ourselves as ones who must tame the entire world.

The act of questioning this role of America as the world’s police exercising unlimited

jurisdiction serves as an accepted criticism when approaching America’s still-ongoing

wars in the Middle East. Alasdair Spark and his writing on the evolution of soldiers in

cultural memory fills an important role when discussing what society as a whole

collectively imagines when thinking of a Vietnam veteran.3 His publication would serve

as a good reference for someone wishing to have a background in what society has

specifically been shown by Hollywood regarding veterans of the ’s Special

Forces groups and the precedent set for movies forming the basis of public knowledge.

Additional readings on the subject of society’s remembrance of wartime and veterans’

homecoming one could reference the works of Paul Fussell,4 Jonathan Bach,5 Erika

Doss,6 John R. Gold,7 and Kyoko Murakami.8

2 Ronald Carpenter,. "America's Tragic Metaphor: Our Twentieth-Century Combatants as Frontiersmen," The Quarterly Journal of Speech 76,1. (1990). 3 Alasdair Spark, "The Soldier at the Heart of the War: The Myth of the Green Beret in the Popular Culture of the Vietnam Era," Journal of American Studies 18,1. (1984). 4 Fussell, Paul. The Great War and Modern Memory. (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1975). 5 Jonathan Bach "The Berlin Wall after the Berlin Wall: Site into Site," History and Memory 9,1. (2016). 6 Erika Doss. “War, Memory, and the Public Mediation of Affect: The National World War II Memorial and American Imperialism.” Memory Studies 1,2. (2008). 7 John R. Gold, "The Graves of the Gallant Highlanders: Memory, Interpretation, and Narratives of Culloden." History and Memory 19,1. (2007). 8 Kyoko Murakami . “ Commemoration reconsidered: Second World War Veterans’ reunion as pilgrimage,” Memory Studies, vol. 7, 3: (2014). 5

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Britta Knudsen, a Danish scholar of memorialization, has already investigated the

civilian version of these videos with her own nation’s soldiers.9 In Denmark it has

become common for family members or close civilian friends to make videos honoring

their loved ones who have fallen in battle. These memorials are not necessarily part of the

funeral or put in the local papers’ obituaries but rather put online for the world to have

access to and for anyone who knew the deceased to find. Digital memorials to people and

events are becoming an increasingly popular method of recording current events and

recent history. No longer is commemoration and reporting of events an act restricted to

only those hired by newspapers or magazines.

To this end, Dr. Knudsen’s approach to the digital world will be used in a similar

manner as well as the interpretation methods she used to infer a lot about the values of a

nation by what labels it places on someone they hold in high esteem, like a fallen

soldier.10 However my argument is not that the traits I ascribe to combat veterans are

flawlessly universal and done by design of a greater governmental authority. Instead I

argue that the culture of combat reflected in these videos has been mostly self-sustained

by the same community of combat-trained veterans who created those videos and the

values inherent to that culture have evolved within relative isolation and with little regard

to what any outside agency or institution believes. The values that will be discussed are

also not as overt as the ones Knudsen describes in her work as being a subtle element of

propaganda but rather, like a work of art, each video may mean something different to

9 Britta Knudsen, "Online War Memorials: YouTube as a Democratic Space of Commemoration Exemplified through Video Tributes to Fallen Danish Soldiers," Memory Studies 6,4. (2012). 10 Knudsen, Online War Memorials, 2012, 424 6

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each person experiencing it. However, that individual viewing experience is linked

through common understanding of the ordeal that a general observer would not relate to.

Furthermore, Nataliya Danilova wrote about the way in which soldiers are

posthumously ascribed honor by their government as a form of state recognition for their

sacrifice.11 This also focuses on a larger entity having the power to directly state what

value a person holds rather than the value coming from the masses and being an

unspoken but entirely apparent fact to those seasoned enough to observe properly.

Moving forward I will show how the official government memorialization of soldiers

stands in contrast to the way in which soldiers remember each other, their own

experiences, and themselves. Rather than a state saying what a soldier died or fought for,

many soldiers are able to show what exactly their sacrifices meant through these videos

that serve as firsthand accounts. In every case seen to date, those fighting were doing so

for the men and women around them in the hopes of surviving to see the next day, the

next hour, the next minute.

Forming the bulk of my research regarding the actual experience of combat are

the voices of veterans themselves. Whether taking the form of collected oral histories or

autobiographies, it has been my goal to let the veterans tell their story in full and to draw

conclusions from that point. Rather than analyzing another historian’s interpretation, I

believe it to be vital to remain as close to the original experience and source as possible.

Focusing on soldiers and marines engaged in ground combat during World War II,

Vietnam, and the War on Terror, these memoirs offer tremendous insight into their views

of combat. More importantly, however, are the less glamorous remarks on how the

11Nataliya Danilova, “The politics of mourning: The virtual memorialization of British fatalities in Iraq and ,” Memory Studies 8,3. (2015). 167. 7

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veterans adjusted to their life after service. This seemingly mundane aspect of their lives,

often relegated to a few pages in an epilogue, is the most intriguing to me and offers

tremendous value as I focus in on the field of veteran reintegration. Notable writers in

this field are (in chronological order of wartime service): Bob Leckie,12 Eugene Sledge,13

Phil Caputo,14 Al Santoli,15 Anthony Swofford,16 Colby Buzzell,17 Chris Kyle,18 Marcus

Luttrell,19 Nate Fick,20 and Sebastian Junger.21

In support of oral histories and personal accounts: My case-study sources

Throughout this thesis, written accounts take on a large share of support for the

conclusions drawn, but they are also supplemented by personally conducted oral

histories. Evidence cited also comes from approximately thirty-six total hours of video

from eleven combat arms veterans of the War on Terror. There is only one who did not

earn a Combat Infantryman’s Badge (CIB), Combat Medical Badge (CMB), or a Combat

Action Badge (CAB)22 but is still used to mainly discuss the culture of the infantry as a

whole and the post-military life of veterans in his own personal experience. All others

served in infantry units and saw combat in their various tours.

12 Bob Leckie, Helmet for my Pillow, (New York: Bantam Books, 1957). 13 Eugene Sledge, With the Old Breed, (New York: Ballantine Books, 1981). 14 Philip Caputo, A Rumor of War, (New York: Owl Books, 1994). 15 Al Santoli, Everything We Had, (New York: Ballantine Books, 1981). 16 Anthony Swofford, Jarhead: A Marine's Chronicle of the Gulf War and Other Battles, (New York: Scribner, 2003). 17 Colby Buzzell, My War, (New York, G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 2005), 18 Chris Kyle, American Sniper, (New York: William Morrow and Company, 2012). 19 , : The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10, (New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2007). 20 Nathaniel Fick, One Bullet Away, (New York: Mifflin Company, 2005). 21 Sebastian Junger, Tribe, (London: Fourth Estate, 2016). 22 CIBs, CMBs, and CABs are awarded for participating in combat. In combat arms branches (infantry, Special Forces, artillery, cavalry, combat engineering, and combat medicine) earning one of these badges is an immense source of pride. For other occupations, earning a CAB (you can not earn a CIB without being in the infantry) is more incidental than by design. 8

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Spanning the very first airborne jump into the mountains of Afghanistan in 2001

to early spring of 2016, these men have seen action across a multitude of regions and

have been through numerous changes in Rules of Engagement (ROEs), equipment, and

phases of uniforms. One thing that remains consistent is many of the answers they

provide to the more personal and subjective questions asked of them. For their incredibly

varying paths of experience, which diverge at the outset, they are all brought back

together in unison as they all speak together about what life can be like after the military,

with whom they feel connected, and their opinions on the public image of the American

veteran.

The oral histories in fact do not tell a different story or in any way separate

themselves from the personal accounts published in various books as far as what they

report. As a matter of fact, the books themselves also coincide perfectly with the

sentiments expressed in the oral histories so long as they cover the similar topics like

preconceived ideas about combat, a person’s first experience with it, and their reflections

after the fact. Observed as two parts of a whole, oral histories combined with written

accounts of combat and infantry life paint a detailed picture about a community that

remains largely segregated from mainstream society. For this reason, I firmly believe that

the while there are tens of thousands of potential interviewees, the men I interviewed

serve as a strong representation of the mass population due to the personal opinions that

all come together to form uniform opinions and reflections.23

23 Oral histories regarding the first experience with combat, even though from the War on Terror, still coincides with what is described in Vietnam War books like Everything We Had by Al Santoli, The Boys of ‘67 by Andrew Wiest, Voices from Vietnam by Richard Verrone and Laura Calkins, and Grunts by Kyle Longley. 9

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One last detail that may be important for the reader would be how I came across

these men and why you, the reader, should believe anything they say and not just assume

they endured my interrogation and spat out answers they assumed would placate me.

During my lifetime I have probably known close to a thousand infantrymen.

Approximately half of that group is made up of combat veterans. Simply having survived

an encounter does not mean one has taken time to reflect or develop insight on the

experience, nor that they would be willing to discuss it if they had. After all, Forrest

Gump made it through a gunfight, but he would probably not be the best person to

interview about military strategy or American culture (even though he did meet Elvis). In

this case, each person selected was chosen because they were able to describe their

experiences in a frank manner and reflect on those experiences in a thoughtful fashion.

Expressed many times is the idea of comfort while recounting these experiences because

they knew I was one of their own.24 Many veterans go on to state that they would not be

comfortable doing an interview with just any random graduate student interested in

modern military culture. In fact, in many cases the interviewee actively sought me out in

order to have their experiences recorded, believing it to be their chance to tell their story

of the war.

The questions I asked were not simple ones to answer and for many of the men,

were not the easiest things to re-live. However many stated in private and on camera that

not only were they glad to have someone to talk to and to whom they could tell their

24 The meaning of this will be explained in the section “What is the infantry?”. 10

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story, but that I was one of the few people to whom they would actually open up about

their experiences in the war.25

One of my interviewees, Tim, was extremely candid about how me being a

member of the infantry affected the way he would answer my questions compared to any

other graduate student researching this topic:

If I was having to explain [little] things to you it’s different, but because I’m having to explain things in more general terms it forces me to elaborate. And then the more that I’m forced to elaborate the less I can bulls**t. And then you being a veteran yourself it’s like, come on, you get what’s going on. You’ve worked with me personally. And if you interview somebody who you don’t have this connection with like say somebody from Vietnam, you still get enough of this [shared military experience] to understand and you know how these things work. You can tell what’s realistic and what’s not and because, it seems so cheap but it’s true, you’re part of the brotherhood. You’re part of the fraternity and so that makes it ok. If I were going to explain it so somebody else then what are they gonna do with some of this information?26

Continuing on about how he and others would treat this experience differently

than a standard interview he asks, “Is any person in the media gonna go out of their way

to have candid conversations like you’re doing? Are they gonna get comfortable enough

with someone where they’re telling about things where it won’t jeopardize their

position in society? That’s really hard to do.” Now adamant in his belief regarding

whether a civilian reporter or researcher would get fully unsanitized answers from him,

Tim states, “[a reporter is] never gonna get that [honest view], out of me. Somebody from

popular media is not going to get a truthful representation of what I think and what I

25 This “tribal” mentality will become the focus of the section “What are grunts like?” and is the subject of the book Tribe by Sebastian Junger. 26 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 11

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know because f**k them. Because I know that they’re selling it… I’ve never had them

come to me and get to know me and ask the questions like you’re asking."

Offering his own similar take on the matter, another interviewee, Jay, spoke about

his relationship with being interviewed as such: “I’ve been approached at least 15 times

since 2009… that’s when Bergdahl happened. I’ve been out of the media until 2015. The

only other interview I’ve done was 2 years ago and there was a dude doing a

documentary on the Bergdahl trial.”27 Thankfully, Jay and ten other veterans from across

the infantry felt they were able to share their experiences with me and that those

experiences would be properly represented here.

27 Jay was part of the rescue attempts made after Bowe Bergdahl’s disappearance. Jay was also called in to testify during the Bergdahl trial because on one patrol conducted to find Bergdahl several soldiers were wounded in action, including Jay’s best friend. 12

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Chapter II

Cucumbers and Pickles

American combat veterans consistently describe feelings of misrepresentation by

the media and an aura of exclusion upon return to civilian society. Focusing specifically

on the Global War on Terror with brief looks back to World War II (WWII) and the

Vietnam War, I will show that there has consistently been a gap between the image of

warfare presented in popular movies and the true nature of engaging in combat. Mostly

influenced by pop-culture, the average American does not have much contact with day-

to-day military life and yet support for the military is almost unwavering.28 The

experience of a veteran of the Global War on Terror (GWoT)29 during their service

overseas, and more specifically the experience of a combat veteran, is one which is

frequently not talked about in an open and frank manner. Whether with family or friends

many combat veterans consistently describe feelings of not fitting in and a lack of

reintegration which has resulted in the steady growth of a self-exclusionary community of

veterans in America. Reflecting the same sentiments on homecoming and reintegration

held by their forefathers but with their own additions to the conversation, War on Terror

veterans have already begun to create for themselves their own niche in American society

that is largely only accessible to other vets.

28Saad, Lydia. “Military, Small Business, Police, Stir Confidence.” Gallup News. June 28, 2018. Accessed May 7, 2019. https://news.gallup.com/poll/236243/military-small-business-police-stir- confidence.aspx?g_source=link_newsv9&g_campaign=item_248153&g_medium=copy 29 This abbreviation is not simply for brevity’s sake but is the recognized abbreviation for the war(s). 13

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The results of my research will elaborate on what the typical experience has been

for those fighting America’s wars since 2001 and how those soldiers continue the legacy

of combat veterans since WWII in their own unique way. Spanning the last seventy years

of pop-culture and American warfare, my research will show how veterans of combat in

Iraq and Afghanistan carry on the torch passed to them by veterans of previous

generations. In this chapter I aim to give an accurate depiction of what life was truly like

for a combat soldier in the War on Terror with experiences from World War II and

Vietnam supplemented for context. Contrasted against television and movies from each

immediate post-war era, the main source for public knowledge regarding combat and

military service, the true experience of fighting one of America’s most recent wars will

be shown as well as busting some common myths. Exploring themes such as military

occupations, combat service, volunteering for service, and other small facts that veterans

describe themselves as constantly having to correct; progression will be made

chronologically to see how each of these themes has changed over time.

Whose voice do you listen to?

What makes the experience of one fighting in the War on Terror stand out next to

the Vietnam War and World War II is that not only are soldiers able to record their

instances of combat but that they can also go online and blog their experiences the same

day they occur.30 Soldier-created blogs were not an uncommon thing in the earlier days

of the , and while they ended up not being nearly as popular as videos they spark

an interesting dilemma. Is it closer to the truth for veterans like Eugene Sledge and Bob

30 For examples of these blogs, see the books My War by Colby Buzzell and The Blog of War by Matthew Currier Burden. 14

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Leckie to sit and write their experiences years later with the full historical overview of

their fight readily available?31 Or is it more accurate to get one’s experiences written

down as they occur even when the fog of battle is still perhaps clouding one’s own

memory and the only known elements are your small slice of ? In this particular

case, I do not believe that there is a knowable truth. There is a truth about combat and the

events therein to be sure but how a person dealt with life after a firefight as well as their

reflections on the military experience as a whole was unknown that spurred my research.

Actions taken or not taken on an objective are a “yes or no” type of fact. With the

increased use of body-worn cameras, as well as drones overhead recording a firefight, it

is now possible to know what happened in that small section of the battle. However, the

accounts and After Action Reports (AARs) from the past (only recently popularized in

the Korean War and Vietnam by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman)32 all tell a story that is mostly

accurate but can never really be known due to the nature of war and the complications of

human memory.33 Therefore, outside of camera footage, I find it most useful to take what

is written or said about specific events in combat not as a lie (since I have no reason to

believe anyone lied to me or wrote down a lie), but simply to place significance on each

author’s reactions and reflection rather than their description of action itself. For this

reason among others, I did not ask too much about the nitty-gritty details of combat

31 Sledge and Leckie were Marines in the Pacific theater of WWII. Both men wrote incredibly detailed accounts of their time in the war fighting a fairly unconventional enemy. Their books, With the Old Breed, Marine, and Helmet for my Pillow serve as some of the most popular accounts of the fighting encountered by Marines in that time and area of the world. 32Dave Grossman, On Killing, (New York: Back Bay Books, 2009). 33 This is why the most significant pieces of evidence used from oral histories are not specific facts about a place or battle but rather the reaction and feeling of people being exposed to extreme circumstances. 15

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experience and did not place much emphasis on it during my research. To me, the human

mind’s reaction to combat in the moments after it subsided are most telling.

“Absurd” becomes a key word in the experience of a veteran. So many of a

veteran’s most interesting and life-changing moments are things which require so much

context to be supplied to the average listener that it becomes such a tiring endeavor to try

to tell their story. With so much effort needed to explain even one of the simplest stories

most veterans simply give up trying to explain their experiences to non-veterans

completely.34 This is also the reason that many expressed a willingness to conduct an

interview with me, the context is not needed as for the most part I already have it.

There are three infantrymen whose experiences are used to demonstrate that the

War on Terror, while taking place over two main countries and almost eighteen years of

war, can still produce a unifying experience for those who emerge from military service

as combat infantrymen. These three men grew up in different places across America,

served in different units, and fought at different times.35 Despite these differences they

tell a story in unison of a bond found nowhere else and cemented by having endured what

many may consider inhumane conditions all alongside other men who volunteered to do

the same.

Matt grew up in a small town in Illinois and had a fairly wild youth.36 Spending

his younger days watching war movies, while also being in and out of trouble, the

seemed like a good option for him. The fact that America happened to be in a war (which

34 Jay Walters, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 35 A “unit” typically means your specific battalion. Several of my interviews were with people from the same division but an entire division will have multiple battalions deployed all across a country at once. 36 Matt Bennett, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 16

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statistically speaking is likely in any given year)37 further cemented his decision as the

infantry is what drew him in. “Everything else in the whole military exists to support the

infantry. If I was going to join the military, it was going to be doing what the military

exists for [engaging and destroying the enemy] not just supporting it.” When asked why

he decided to join the army at that stage of his life his answer seems fairly reasonable for

someone who joined right out of high school and also as something that one may find on

an army recruitment poster. “It was the best paying and most attractive job option open to

me at the time. It's also the job every red-blooded American man should start out with

unless he's going to college to become an officer, and I didn’t have the grades or

motivation in high school to do college.” Matt would go on to serve two combat tours in

Iraq with the 1st Cavalry Division primarily working in the scout/sniper section.

Jay grew up in New York, playing “army” as a child and seeing his future in the

military as a lifelong goal to be achieved.38 Still serving, he currently thinks of his job as

“every boy’s dream”. He joined the infantry and remains an infantryman nineteen years

later because “getting paid to blow s**t up and shoot guns all day long was and still is my

idea of a dream job.” Jay’s dream job would take him to combat overseas seven times;

six with the military and once more as a Private Military Contractor (PMC) working for

Triple Canopy. Serving his first four tours in the Special Operations community with the

75th Ranger Regiment, Jay was exposed to some of the harshest fighting to take place

during the most contentious years of the war to date.

37 As one blog states, the US has been involved in conflicts for 222 of the 239 (at the time of writing in 2011) years as a nation. Accessed May 7, 2019. https://washingtonsblog.com/2015/02/america-war-93-time-222-239-years-since-1776.html 38 Jay Walters, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 17

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Tim was born in Dallas, Texas and joined the military at an age in which many

would have already completed a full contract and gone back to the civilian world. At

twenty-six years old Tim joined the army after losing his job and wanting to be “up close

to it all with a rifle… before I got too old.” Tim would serve two combat tours in Iraq as

a part of the 1st Cavalry Division. Working in every position an infantry squad has to

offer,39 Tim was able to experience the war with the heightened level of maturity and

understanding that typically comes with age and experience.

What is the infantry/combat arms? Why does it matter?

The infantry is the main ground combat force of the and

Marine Corps. “Combat-arms” refers to the infantry, armor, Special Forces, combat

engineers, combat medics, and field artillery occupations within the military. While every

branch of the military has exposure to combat, my research is focused specifically on

those participating in ground combat as members of either the U.S. Army or the Marine

Corps. Both the infantry, and the broadened scope of combat-arms, bear the brunt of the

casualties in ground combat during any given war while statistically making up a small

percentage of the military’s population. However, this small proportion has not always

been the case.

Dubbed the “tooth-to-tail” ratio this comparison of soldiers designated for ground

combat and those designated to help those in ground combat has slowly shifted over the

39 The positions in an infantry rifle squad are rifleman, grenadier, automatic rifleman, and team leader. Each squad consists of two teams and a squad leader. 18

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decades.40 World War II began the trend of having a heavy majority of service-members

in support roles with approximately 39% of soldiers on the European front deployed in

combat roles.41 In the World War I American Expeditionary Force, the trend was almost

with approximately 65% of soldiers serving in active divisions which at the

time was synonymous with being on the front.42 However as WWII was a drastically

different war militarily and tactically from WWI, supply networks and infrastructure

became an increasingly important part of the army’s focus. At the height of Vietnam in

1968, this proportion had dropped slightly further as 35% of soldiers serving in Southeast

Asia were classified as being in combat roles, again due to the army’s reliance on broad

levels of infrastructure and support. At the height of U.S. troop involvement and combat

activity in Iraq in 2005, the ratio of combat soldiers to support had risen up to WWII

levels (40%) thanks in part to extensive civilian contractors taking over many logistical

and support operations.43 Almost a decade later, this proportion has also waned to

Vietnam-era levels in which combat troops represent about one-third of all those

deployed since the U.S. is supposed to be in a more advisory position to the Afghans.

The reason the infantry takes such a spotlight in my research is twofold: first,

because the missions that the infantry undertakes (and to some extension combat-arms as

a whole) are largely what gets shown in mainstream pop-culture depictions and is thus

what an average American may perceive as the “typical military experience.” Looking at

the 50 highest grossing war movies in America, thirty-four are set in a WWII-present

40 John McGrath, “The Other End of the Spear: The Tooth-to-Tail Ratio (T3R) in Modern Military Operations.” Combat Studies Institute Press. 2007. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://usacac.army.mil/cac2/cgsc/carl/download/csipubs/mcgrath_op23.pdf 41 McGrath, “The Other End of the Spear: The Tooth-to-Tail Ratio (T3R) in Modern Military Operations,” 19. 42 McGrath, “The Other End of the Spear: The Tooth-to-Tail Ratio (T3R) in Modern Military Operations,” 13. 43 McGrath, “The Other End of the Spear: The Tooth-to-Tail Ratio (T3R) in Modern Military Operations,” 51. 19

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era.44 Of those thirty-four movies, seventeen feature combat arms soldiers as their main

protagonists.45 With this simple fact, it can be seen that if a typical American has

exposure to pop-culture depictions of war during the post-Pearl Harbor period, there is a

strong likelihood that their exposure would include a focus on combat. The second reason

for the specific focus on combat arms, and infantry soldiers specifically, is because

understanding what the infantry is and is not is the first misconception to clarify.

Realizing that most military members are not trained to be efficient in combat, or to even

see combat, is something that must first be understood before going into the culture of the

small group of people who are in fact trained to fight.

The distinction between the rest of the army and the infantry comes back time and

time again not only in oral histories but in memoirs as most infantrymen are drawn to

combat-focused job and less to the military as an entity. As a result, nicknames for non-

infantry personnel in the military have abounded in the colloquial terms POG (Person

Other than Grunt) and REMF (Rear-Echelon Mother-F***er).46 Depending on the

circumstances, animosity between grunts and POGs while in the military sometimes

comes in the form of physical altercations and not just name-calling.47 However every

oral history conducted showed that outside of the military, grunts do not care what job

someone had and respected any veteran for signing up unless “they try to play it up as if

44IMDb’s “War” Category sorted by US Box Office. Accessed May 11, 2019. https://www.imdb.com/search/title?genres=war&sort=boxoffice_gross_us,desc 45 The highest-grossing American war movies focusing on WWII-present combat arms soldiers are American Sniper, Saving Private Ryan, Dunkirk, Rambo: Part II, Platoon, Lone Survivor, Inglourious Basterds, Black Hawk Down, Fury, Apocalypse Now, We Were Soldiers, Act of Valor, Born on the Fourth of July, Hacksaw Ridge, Jarhead, and Patton 46 For descriptions of infantrymen having less than admirable views of POGs during their time in combat, see the books by , Helmet for My Pillow by Bob Leckie, With the Old Breed by Eugene Sledge, Grunts by Kyle Longley, Not a Gentleman’s War by Ron Milam, Jarhead by Anthony Swofford, and the collected illustrated works of Maximilian Uriarte’s Terminal Lance. 47 Stephen Dant, Oral history interview by Richard Verrone, 2005. 20

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they are... warriors.”48 However, there remains a bond associated with “being in the same

branch, being in the same type of unit, being in the same type of job like infantry or

assaulters,49 you have so much more to talk about and it’s important stuff to you.”50

Sebastian Junger, a heavily experienced war correspondent and director of the

documentary, Restrepo, describes this community-through-conflict in his book, Tribe.51

The military itself, he argues, creates a culture of interdependence on one-another,

especially in combat. This interdependence, and the necessity of contributing to a greater

goal, is an innate human need that gets fulfilled daily during combat in Iraq and

Afghanistan. As an entire platoon relies on each person to pull security, stay alert, and

use their training well for the good of the unit an individual is made to feel needed for

their own unique abilities. For this sense of belonging that is not matched by civilian

society, the tribal mentality leads many veterans to the conclusion that “war feels better

than peace”.52 Further evidence is given to this idea of communal contribution as many

survivors of the Blitz in England expressed desire to go back to similar circumstances.

Most notably, during this time of extreme national distress, admissions to psychiatric

hospitals went down, directly countering pre-war projections.53 With these few examples

in mind, the contribution of an individual soldier to their platoon in combat is seen as

essential and brings with a strong sense of camaraderie that, once removed, leaves a

soldier extremely vulnerable to psychological distress.54

48 Kelton Fell, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 49 “Assaulter” is a term used in the special operations community to describe those who primarily conduct raids or High-Value Target (HVT) hits. 50 Kelton Fell, Oral History #2, Interview by author, 2018. 51 Junger, Tribe, xx. 52 Junger, Tribe, xxi. 53 Junger, Tribe, 47. 54 Junger, Tribe, 124. 21

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The infantry itself makes up only around 10-15% of the United States Army and

United States Marine Corps (the Air Force and do not have an infantry) but they

make up the bulk of awards for valor and a disproportionate number of awards for

participation in combat.55 In Operation Enduring Freedom (the main conflict in

Afghanistan from 2001-2014), 40% of all combat badges were earned by infantrymen

(again, only 10-15% of army’s population at any given time). In Operation Freedom’s

Sentinel (conflict in Afghanistan from 2015-present) that number dropped to only 17% as

drone strikes and special operations raids became more common. In Operation Iraqi

Freedom (the main conflict in Iraq that lasted from 2003-2011), 34% of all combat

badges were earned by infantrymen likely due to the rampant use of Improvised

Explosive Devices (IEDs) which did not discriminate against anyone unfortunate to drive

across one. In Operation Inherent Resolve (the conflict that resumed in Iraq in an effort to

destroy the Islamic State from 2014-present) infantrymen have made up 23% of all those

awarded combat badges. It is quite obvious based on the nature of the job that the

infantry is focused on fighting rather than supporting those who fight.56 Described by the

army itself as “the main land combat force and backbone of the Army” the infantry is

seen by many as the entire reason to join the army.57 In one soldier’s view “why join up if

55 HRC Homepage, United States Army Human Resources Command. Accessed May 9, 2019. www.hrc.army.mil/content/Awards%20and%20Decorations%20Statistics%20by%20Conflict. 56 This is made explicitly clear as up until 2005, the only combat awards a soldier could receive is the Combat Infantryman Badge for fighting as a member of the infantry, or a Combat Medical Badge for serving as a combat medic. Therefore assessing the total number of combat awards from today in comparison to those of Vietnam and World War II is almost impossible as an army MOS field other than infantryman or combat medic would not receive a citation simply for being in combat. 57 Infantryman (11B), U.S. Army. Accessed May 9, 2019. https://www.goarmy.com/careers-and-jobs/browse-career-and-job-categories/combat/infantryman-11b.html 22

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you’re not willing to make the ultimate sacrifice or fight the fight? That’s like going to

the prom and at the end of the night, you just snuggle.”58

Figure 1-The high self-confidence of the infantryman.59

Figure 2-Another classic infantry opinion.60

The fact that not everyone directly participates in the fight and furthermore that

very few people understand this concept is a point of significant irritation for combat

58 Daniel Hernandez, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018 59“Being in the Army or Marines and not being infantry.” MilitaryHumor. December 5, 2015. Accessed May 22, 2019. https://militaryhumor.net/being-in-the-army-or-marines-and-not-being-infantry/# 60Pinterest. Accessed May 22, 2019. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/26/e7/e0/26e7e04c582300b213466e468d821421.jpg 23

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veterans throughout the ages. Eugene Sledge describes his experience trying to come

home from WWII being haunted by the fact that other civilians would assume he had the

same experience as an aircraft instructor who had spent the whole war stateside.61 Today,

another veteran who served in the Ranger regiment describes a high frequency of fellow

veterans preying upon this lack of knowledge held by the public as they attempt to gain

respect by touting their war record (or lack thereof) in classrooms.62 “There was a guy in

one of my classes who would constantly bring up his deployment to Iraq”, the Ranger

remembers, “eventually I went up to him after class and asked him where he served, and

he said something like al-Asad, which is just a massive air base the size of a city, and it

turns out he was in [a] supply [position] there. So he never left this base, never went out

on patrol, never saw any action, but he was able to talk about it like he’d been kicking

down doors in Fallujah because no one else in the class knew enough to call him out on

it.”63

The infantry specifically is not only known for its role in fighting wars but also

among soldiers or infantrymen at least, for being a different culture within the military

itself. When asked what public misconception regarding the military or the infantry he

would like to fix Tim responded that “the infantry... is just different. If I showed [the

public] what goes on every day in a random infantry unit they’d be horrified.”64 When

pushed a bit further as to what the public did not know about life in the infantry, as he

61Eugene Sledge, China Marine, (New York: Oxford University Press, 2002) 133. 62 Kelton Fell, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 63 It is also common for people to describe rocket attacks, potential bombings, or mortars being dropped on their base while they were there. While this sounds like a harrowing event it is unusual for any of the attacks to produce substantial casualties especially since bases have specific shelters built for servicemembers to go during such events. Furthermore, the size of the bases occupied by many support-level servicemembers can be as large as a few square miles. For most infantry members,a rocket or mortar attack was an uneventful part of day-to-day life. 64 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 24

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had no doubt had people discuss their assumptions about military life with him before,

Tim toyed with how valuable it would be to have a hidden camera on a base just to show

people what goes on. “I wanna see a fever-pitch smoking.65 And it’s all infantry in the

woods at night. You’ve been there,” he says as he nods at me. “It’s horrible. It’s heinous.

Your civil rights are being violated. It’s terrible. It’s everything toxic about man

condensed and then there’s physical pain involved. And the worst part is it’s not someone

grabbing you and kicking. You’re doing this to yourself.”

This described harsher form of training and treatment potentially serves a

purpose. What most people imagine as being the way everyone in the military speaks,

barking orders and screaming, is typically rare in the general military but rather common

in the infantry. Physical punishment fills the role of ensuring that in combat a soldier will

respond positively to stress and perform their job. While memoirs from Marine Platoon

Commander and Iraq/Afghanistan veteran Nate Fick recount irritation at the idea of

military members being seen as mindless robots, the immediate reaction to orders is one

that has its roots in combat.66 Being trained to act accordingly when given orders can be

the difference between life or death- especially when a new private hesitates during his

first firefight and his team leader has to jar him back to the present. However, when it

comes to exacting a non-combat related punishment using these same methods, Tim

believes it to be abusing something that once held a benefit. The harsh treatment is one

65 “Smokings” are physical punishments resulting from a failure to follow instruction, complete a task, or any other infraction that a superior has found and typically last anywhere from 15 minutes to a few hours. Smokings entail physical exercises as punishment. Typically sprints, push-ups, sit-ups, squats, or any number of tasks design to wear down the soldier. They are also typically conducted in full (approx. 40 lbs.+ of) gear. 66 Nathaniel Fick, One Bullet Away, (New York: Mifflin Company, 2005). 25

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downside exhibited in the world of combat-arms but enduring such conditions as a unit is

a key part of being in the infantry.

What are grunts like?67

Many people may imagine a soldier or Marine as honorable and upstanding

because of the way the branches market themselves. “Army Strong” and “The Few. The

Proud.” brings to mind someone full of virtue and commanding respect. That may be

true, but only a small portion of the time. War on Terror veterans carry on a proud

tradition of wars being fought by the vagabonds and ne'er do wells of America. Of the

eleven people I interviewed, five of them described their reason for joining the infantry as

it being one of their only options for a better life.68

What attracts troublemakers to this line of work? For the most part, they are risk-

takers and the military needs risk-takers to override their brain when it tells them not to

run towards a machine gun and do so anyway because their platoon needs that soldier to

get into a better position.69 From the violent, borderline illegal forms of hazing to the way

theft from the dead is encouraged, the infantry encourages breaking the rules when the

output is a soldier that is better suited to enduring a harsh existence with limited

resources.70

Contrary to what many may think, infantrymen often remain conflicted about

whether or not they want to get into combat. While they may be good at it and they may

67 Grunt is a synonym for an infantryman. 68 Bennett, Hernandez, Polk, Sanchez, A., Vansyckle. 69“Frontline: The Wounded Platoon,” Public Broadcasting Network. Published May 18, 2010. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.pbs.org/video/frontline-the-wounded-platoon/ 70 These examples are taken from Jarhead (51) and Helmet for my Pillow (117), respectively. 26

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be trained for it, it is that experience that tells them you do not wish to almost end your

life. The lines and tropes spouted in a movie about running out under immense fire are

mocked by those who have been pinned down under a wall of incoming bullets. “The

guys who really wanted to get into s**t we made fun of,” Tim says laughing and

remembering his own experience in Iraq with foolhardy privates raised on old war

movies.71

What is the modern battlefield?

As Dr. Hamner describes in Enduring Battle, the role of a soldier has grown

increasingly complex as time goes on.72 The average infantry soldier in the American

Revolution as well as in the American Civil War was expected to maintain discipline as

he may march in formation at the enemy and perform his aiming, firing, and reloading in-

sequence with the other members of his rank all of whom are tightly packed together to

prevent anyone from deserting the others in lieu of doing his duty. Moving forward

eighty years, the American infantryman would frequently find themselves isolated on the

battlefield. Across a field or a city block from their nearest leader, lower-enlisted soldiers

frequently held the responsibility for accomplishing parts of the unit’s missions and being

able to operate more independently than their counterparts of previous generations. The

responsibility of a soldier has grown as units begin to operate in ever expanding areas of

operation (AOs) as mobility provided by helicopters and vehicles grows and a

counterinsurgency war demands increased involvement with the locals.

71 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 72 Hamner, Enduring Battle: American Soldiers in Three Wars 1775-1945, (Lawrence: University Press of Kansas, 2011), 44. 27

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Modern units are sent out not to push an enemy back through lines on a map as

was the standard in WWII. The story of combat operations in Vietnam, Iraq, and

Afghanistan is one of a unit taking over responsibility of an area for a limited amount of

time, patrolling it, gathering intel about the enemy, trying to engage the enemy, and

ultimately returning home. As most modern War on Terror movies show Special

Operations Forces, or soldiers in general, partaking in direct-action raids where

Americans are on the offensive (with 13 Hours being the notable exception), the truth

behind most combat in Iraq and Afghanistan is far different.73 “We would go walk

around for hours every day, covering miles, and just wait to be shot at” recounts one

Afghanistan veteran.74 “We were basically bait sent out over a large area because they

knew if we got into a fight that we would win, but they didn’t care about us being bait.”

Combat patrols in Vietnam bore a striking resemblance to this style of warfare as soldiers

would also be sent out on patrols that would last several days and contain no specific

goal.75 With this decrease in supervision over operations, Rules of Engagement (ROEs)

have followed that dictate when a soldier can or cannot engage an enemy. Oftentimes

leaving the decision of whether an act constituted “hostile intent”76 is up to the soldier

and where incoming fire is or is not coming from is often a grey area in the heat of battle.

As soldiers are constantly entrusted to make life or death decisions, the chance of them

making a wrong decision increases. Matt remembers the results of this destruction

73 Act of Valor, Lone Survivor, American Sniper, 12 Strong, The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty, and 13 Hours are the specific movies I’m referring to here. 74 Russell Aston, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 75 Richard Verrone and Laura Calkins, Voices from Vietnam, (Cincinnati: David & Charles, 2005) 66. 76 One of the original stipulations in ROEs was all someone had to do to be engaged was to show “hostile act or hostile intent” according to Jay Walters. My lack of providing a solid definition for either is because there was not a specific definition- it was up to the soldier’s judgement. 28

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affecting entire areas of a country as having mostly been done by people who are not

even old enough to buy a beer.

Iraq in 2010 was the definition of smithereens. The United States took hundreds of thousands of nineteen-year olds and told them to go be police in this country but didn’t tell them how to do it and didn’t make them take responsibility for what happened. So, in our unit we accidentally shot a flare that landed on the roof of someone’s house and caught it on fire, and while we were rushing over to put it out, we got a call on the radio saying we were Oscar-Mike77 and so we just left while some family’s entire life collapsed and we couldn’t do anything to help.78

Faced with this contradiction of pressure felt for not engaging, and maybe letting

an enemy go, and then also risking the weight placed on the conscience for destroying a

family’s possessions weighs heavily on the psyche of soldiers. Shifting from the initial

urge to do good and help those less fortunate is described as gradually changing to only

doing what it takes to get home. Passing off the baton to the unit replacing you and

forgetting about that country across the ocean, at least for another year, becomes the

standard instead of the organized fight depicted on the news.

In this battlefield with no clear enemies or friends it is surprising to learn that

veterans from the War on Terror hold largely sympathetic views regarding the locals.

“The locals don’t care who’s in charge. They just wanna be left alone,” Jay says

regarding the apathetic manner with which many Afghans treated his unit.79 Rather than

looking for ways to harass or truly ruin someone’s life, most veterans indicate that even

in the limited area which they can effect, most infantrymen try to help the locals

recognizing that they are just victims of circumstance. Again, Vietnam war veterans

describe similar situations as they also fought a counterinsurgency through the homeland

77 “Oscar-Mike” is the radio term for stating that your unit is “On the Move.” 78 Matt Bennett, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 79 Jay Walters, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 29

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still inhabited by the population.80 Whenever possible, even with the stress of ROEs

infantrymen exhibit more humanity than one may think in a potentially life-threatening

situation. Shown in movies like Platoon or Full Metal Jacket as being happy to harass

locals, infantrymen in Vietnam describe their own experiences to the contrary

demonstrating another divergence between their lived reality and pop-culture. Deciding

to give the benefit of the doubt to most people he encountered, Tim described how his

unit would constantly train on what constitutes a threat or not a threat under the ROE so

that they would not “shoot a person for just being a person.”81

Tim also expands on his own sympathy regarding the locals by saying:

The people there, they’re trapped. There’s nothing they can do. They are there. The only thing they can do is go about their lives. And so this s**t goes down and [people tell] all those cool war stories, but in every one of those war stories where guys were in combat there was an innocent family or somebody was there who was not a part of that [fight] and involved in it. And they may or may not have gotten hurt. But most of the time they got hurt. And so we were as accurate as we can be but it’s not like the movies. If we get shot at from somewhere there is going to be multiple houses and areas that are going to be covered in a hail of gunfire and maybe rockets.82

Lamenting the loss of civilian lives whether directly through combat or through

hardship caused by combat, Tim later says “we just wanna f**k s**t up. Next time just

point us in the right direction… we’re like a nuclear bomb. Same effect, just more

digestible… and we probably actually caused more damage.”83

80 Verrone and Calkins, Voices from Vietnam, 112. 81 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 82 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 83 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 30

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What is combat really like?

“Everybody reacts differently. It doesn’t matter who you are, how long you’ve

been doing it, how many times you’ve been shot at, you’re always gonna have that

pause.”84

Veterans all talk about combat differently. Veterans all talk about combat the

same. Whether it is recounted through their writing in a book or they sit in front of you

and describe it, no matter what the experience, one can feel that there is no way what they

experienced can truly be described in a way that conveys the raw emotion of the events.

“The only way to learn combat is through combat,” Matt reflects when asked about the

subject.

Jay described combat as generally fun. Recounting one of his toughest firefights

he tells of the fight happening on and off in an early Afghan morning he changes tone

and says “when [my best friend] got hit, that was when it stopped being fun.”85 Listening

to a typically eloquent speaker suddenly revert to short, halted sentences as he tries to

remember one of the most horrifying moments of his life is a jarring thing to witness but

each man opened up to me about their experience without being directly asked. “[He]

was shot temple-to-temple,” Jay slowly articulates, “he got hit within the first minute,

minute and a half and it stopped being fun. It turned ugly from there.”

Feeling the need to explain their situation and their own personal story regarding

an encounter not many people have had, each veteran explained the details of their first

experience (and some explained many more) with combat. What stayed the same across

years of different experiences and an unlimited number of variables that could have

84 Jay Walters, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 85 Jay Walters, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 31

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altered each person’s experience was the shock that what they had been training for and

imagining for years was now a reality.

Gone were the imaginings of being “” as one Vietnam veteran put it

and the “absolute hell” described by another took its place in the mind of a now-

experienced soldier.86 As WWII veterans describe the terror of machine gun fire raking

over them and silencing a once-proud and boisterous lieutenant, combat can be seen to

constantly clash with prior perceptions.87 So as the Vietnam generation could watch John

Wayne fight in WWII, the War on Terror generation can watch Charlie and Martin Sheen

work their way through the dark jungles of Southeast Asia and each new generation is no

more prepared for combat than the one before it as they learn the truth about the

experience of combat.

“I thought [combat] would be amazing” but “it was just chaotic. Unorganized and

chaotic. You really, really do think you’re gonna see who’s shooting at you. I honestly

thought that I would be involved in hand to hand combat.” Tim’s experience with combat

on the streets of Iraq came from a place very lacking in control by his company

commander and an environment that allowed insurgents to shoot and get away to safety

before they could be tracked down. Again, sent out as bait, his idea of what combat

would entail was completely wrong.

Other than learning “combat” in combat as Matt described. Frequent descriptions

of lessons learned are doing everything deliberately and with a specific purpose.

Everything from “how you walk, how you carry yourself, how you hold your weapon”

has to change to make way for this new lifestyle you are now thrown into. Eventually

86 Verrone and Calkins, Voices from Vietnam, 64. 87 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 227. 32

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complacency sets in as well as a whole new set of values regarding what is and is not

dangerous. Combat truly does teach you things that you could never learn otherwise.

Even if it is simply being able to understand what a fight is, the only way you can learn

combat is through combat.

One other OEF combat veteran, Daniel, described the changes a soldier undergoes

in combat as such:

The way I had someone explain combat to me was that before I was in it, my brain was like a cucumber. It was like everyone else’s for the most part. But then combat does something to you, not necessarily negative, but it changes you. It takes your brain that used to be a cucumber and it turns it into a pickle. You can be totally normal, have a normal life, just be completely ok but that’s still changed you. You can take a cucumber and make it a pickle, but you can never take a pickle and turn it back into a cucumber again.88

What is it that bonds combat veterans or fellow combat arms soldiers?

Director of the war documentary Restrepo and author of several books on the

topic of war, Sebastian Junger, has described the intense human need to have a place and

a purpose.89 The need to feel necessary and important is fulfilled by every person

participating in a firefight. War, on a more magnified scale along with going to the field

and training, bonds people through shared hardship and experience in a way that nothing

else can. Being in a firefight with another person cements the innate, psychological need

to be a part of a group that understands and cares for one another. Caring for one another

may seem unusual when talking about the same group that relentlessly hazes newcomers

or constantly curses at one another, but each person in an infantry platoon lives the cliche

of not fighting for their country, or their President, or their god, but for the person next to

88 Daniel Hernandez, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 89 Junger, Tribe, 11. 33

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them. This bond as described in the section on the “infantry tribe” affects not just those

who came home with their company and eventually separated. Marines discharged with

wounds sustained on Peleliu, one of the most horrific campaigns in the Pacific Theater,

wrote back to their friends still on the island longing to return.90 Their desire to come

back was not an addiction to combat, nor a bloodlust for the Japanese, but rather an

intense deprivation of the camaraderie fostered through one of the worst times in those

men’s lives. The bonding experienced during military service set veterans apart from the

rest of society because “you share a bond that I know the guy next to me...would give

their life mine. And that’s everywhere I go. I go to take a piss and I pass by people who

would die for me. Then you come home and that’s gone”. The immediate denial of this

group that a soldier has become bonded to has been attributed to higher spikes in Post-

Traumatic Stress as a smaller decompression time leads to a less well-adjusted soldier.91

The mental health crisis of veterans

I knew a simple soldier boy Who grinned at life in empty joy, Slept soundly through the lonesome dark, And whistled early with the lark.

In winter trenches, cowed and glum, With crumps and lice and lack of rum, He put a bullet through his brain. No one spoke of him again.

You smug-faced crowds with kindling eye Who cheer when soldier lads march by,

90 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 266. 91 Decompression time is the amount of time between leaving the theater of war and coming back to society. Its effectiveness can be aided by keeping a group intact for far longer. 34

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Sneak home and pray you'll never know The hell where youth and laughter go.

-Siegfried Sassoon, “Suicide in the Trenches”92

One of the most dangerous aspects of veteran culture is one that occurs before

separation from the military but still ties into the same ideas of military masculinity-

seeking mental health treatment. Each oral history contains description of this

phenomenon. Books by Fick, Buzzell, Kyle, Laux, Junger, and Sites all describe the ways

in which soldiers are “encouraged” to not seek treatment or to simply push through their

problems.93 In many cases “encouraged” means threatened with physical violence, being

ostracized socially, or being severely set back professionally as seeking mental health

treatment and the obligations that come with it are sometimes described as being grounds

for denial of promotion.

First off, it is important to note how different the logistics of supplying troops has

changed through the past three major wars. The importance in the manner in which

soldiers go to and return from war is reflected in the ways they reintegrate back into

society and potentially the rates at which post-traumatic stress manifests itself. In World

War II soldiers were shipped to their unit overseas as they completed training and most

were overseas for the rest of their enlistment or in many cases “duration plus six

months.”94 This meant they are in for the whole war however long it lasts and then an

additional six months after it ended.

92 Siegfried Sassoon, “Suicide in the Trenches.” . 1918. Accessed June 6, 2019. https://www.eecs.harvard.edu/~keith/poems/suicide.html 93 These books are One Bullet Away, My War, American Sniper, Left of Boom, Tribe, and The things They Cannot Say, respectively. 94 Sledge, China Marine, 120. 35

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During such long periods of extended combat campaigns, it was an accepted fact

that a man had a mental breaking point. Dubbed “combat fatigue” a man could

sometimes have just had enough of battle and no longer be able to cope.95 Back in the

1940’s it was a universal truth that someone could only take so much stress and it was in

no way dishonorable for a person to just have enough.96 As Sledge describes a seasoned

veteran who had endured collective years of direct combat almost every day finally

breaking down those around him did not see him as weak but rather as another casualty

of the war. Not someone who could have prevented his circumstances by being tougher

but as one who had fought hard and given his all to include, for the meantime, his sanity.

In fact suffering from combat fatigue was seen as a pity, as though the servicemember

was coming down with an illness that could cripple them the rest of their life because it

very well could. In this brutish war, soldiers looked for ways out of combat but still

remained conflicted about leaving their unit- their brothers. The “million dollar wound,”

an injury that would take you out of the war for good but not impact the rest of your life,

was a prize to be won. Leckie gives an example of this when a man falls off a jeep and

breaks his ankle to the point of needing rehabilitation. Sledge describes a man taking

shrapnel or a bullet to one of his extremities as being one of the most fortunate people to

invade the meat grinder that became the island of Okinawa.97 This good fortune is not

simply described as such because a man got a ticket back home to the safety of the states

but also because he would not suffer the mental trauma that would come from having

served in such horrific conditions. In either case serving in combat was seen as a

95 Described throughout Sledge and Leckie’s memoirs. 96 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 299. 97 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 218. 36

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necessity and point of pride when compared to rear-echelon types but was still thought of

as an unwanted position.

In Vietnam, troops would complete training and join up with their unit already

overseas. However, this time they would likely be serving a two-year hitch with one year

overseas.98 This meant that one was only expected to do a single tour and in order to do

more than one tour you would have to specifically volunteer for such an assignment.

During the height of the War on Terror (2003-2011) a soldier could join for four

or five years right away and expect to spend three of those years in a combat zone. It was

fairly common at the height of the war for a soldier to already know they are going back

to war before they have even arrived home from their first deployment.99 In this war, the

soldier is an asset to be preserved right until their separation date and from that point

forward the military has no interest in the person’s well-being. It is a well reported fact

through many oral histories that for soldier to even be released to go on post-deployment

leave, they have to finish all of their medical screenings and get back to their home unit.

If they report that they are suffering from post-traumatic stress, they are held for

evaluation and kept from seeing their families and begin able to decompress. In fact,

many soldiers have reported that if they did in fact seek mental health treatment their

careers could be affected in the form of being passed up for promotion or personally

enduring the feeling of letting their unit down by not being able to train.100

It is only a few months after a soldier returns from their first deployment before

they are preparing to go back for the second and all the pressure from the previous

98 Philip Caputo, A Rumor of War, (New York: Owl Books, 1994). 99 Fernando Sanchez, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 100 Antonio Sanchez, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2019. 37

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deployment is pushed down to make room for pressure from the next. In today’s society

of supposed enlightenment, soldiers report feelings of losing masculinity, or being seen

as weak if they admit to needing mental health treatment. Today’s infantrymen are

expected to know what they signed up for despite having no way of truly knowing. This

is evidenced through the fact that all previously mentioned pop-culture sources were

misleading and no one in a memoir or oral history described knowing what combat would

entail. The all-volunteer military allows some level of plausible deniability from

politicians who can say, “they knew what they were signing up for,” or “no one had a gun

to their head,” when someone comes home damaged from taking a job that was their only

way out of a bad neighborhood.

Not the least bit helpful is the method of attack primarily chosen by America’s

enemy of the week (Taliban, al-Qaeda, the Islamic State, etc.): Improvised Explosive

Devices (IEDs). Devastating at the outset of the Iraq war against lightly armored

Humvees,101 IEDs are frequently responsible for inducing post-traumatic stress as they

can be placed anywhere and can detonate as soon as someone makes contact with them or

at the behest of a triggerman. Coupled with IEDs is Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) which

has been linked to violent behavior and depression experienced by veterans after coming

home from the war.102 Having no way of knowing the true effectiveness of their devices,

insurgents have been able to use IEDs to not only cost billions of dollars overseas but do

101 Today the innovation of Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles has increased survivability for soldiers in IED blasts but they still remain the top danger for someone on a combat mission. 102 Mattis, James. “Remarks by Secretary Mattis on National Defense Strategy.” U.S. DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, December 1, 2018. Accessed March 24, 2019. https://dod.defense.gov/News/Transcripts/Transcript- View/Article/1702965/remarks-by-secretary-mattis-on-national-defense-strategy/ 38

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continue inflicting damage on Americans back home with the issues TBI causes its

victims to exhibit.

Why the discrepancy between perception and reality?

In 2008, a Blockbuster movie came out that swept the Academy Awards and was

one of the first depictions of the War on Terror to be in a movie or on television. The

Hurt Locker, focusing on the exploits of an Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) team in

Iraq, has become widely regarded as the worst military movie of all time due to its

complete lack of believability and rampant inaccuracies regarding the military experience

in Iraq.103 Neither of those things typically affect public opinion but in this case it is

different. In this case The Hurt Locker was lauded by critics (who had never been to war

or Iraq) as being an exceptionally accurate depiction of the Iraq War.104 Using notoriety

and professional success as a metric to determine what the public is and is not exposed to,

it is clear that many people walked into a movie theater expecting to see a realistic

depiction of war and left thinking they had watched just that.

During the same year on a network not a stranger to commercial success (HBO) a

miniseries premiered that offered a true-to-life depiction of the invasion of Iraq.

Generation Kill had many realistic things to offer the audience- incompetent leaders,

103 Chris Barker, “10 Most Inaccurate Military Movies Ever Made,” Career After Military. November 11, 2012. Accessed May 10, 2019. http://www.careeraftermilitary.com/10-most-inaccurate-military-movies-ever-made/ James Clark. “Here’s Why ‘The Hurt Locker’ Is The Worst Military Movie Of All Time,” Task & Purpose. July 2, 2016. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://taskandpurpose.com/heres-hurt-locker-worst-war-movie-time Newsweek Staff. “Veterans: Why ‘The Hurt Locker’ Isn’t Reality.” Newsweek. February 23, 2010. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.newsweek.com/veterans-why-hurt-locker-isnt-reality-75205 Tom Bowman, “Veterans Say Exaggerations Abound In ‘Hurt Locker’.” National Public Radio. March 5, 2010. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124319820 “US Army bomb techs give their verdict on The Hurt Locker,” YouTube video. 2:06. ABC News Australia. Published March 8, 2010. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZiRkO11i0 104Roger Ebert, “The Hurt Locker,” Roger Ebert Reviews. July 8, 2009. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-hurt-locker-2009 39

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malfunctioning equipment, and nearly illiterate sergeants in charge of millions of dollars

of equipment as well a few hundred lives. Actual Iraq War veterans working as advisors

on-set, and a much more realistic pace of action with firefights being sparse but horrific

when they occurred makes the series as true-to-life as any dramatic production one could

watch. While the miniseries did receive positive critical reviews, it has not experienced

nearly the same success as The Hurt Locker or Band of Brothers, another miniseries

featured by the same network but containing much more action about WWII, typically a

much more popular war. This is just a continuation of the American public voting with

their dollar about what they do and do not want to see when it comes to war.

Movies depicting the loss of limbs and independence as seen in The Best Years of

Our Lives again experience critical success but fleeting success in the public’s eye. What

stays in the public’s mind are movies like Flying Leathernecks or The ,

which depict heroes in the midst of battle and an ultimate triumph that the audience

knows is predetermined. Watching a man truly and permanently handicapped by war as

seen in The Best Years of Our Lives causes an audience to ponder what they cheer on in

other movies, and ultimately gets passed over when looking at a broader scope of time.

What lives on in cultural memory and what gets played over and over on networks like

AMC, Turner Classic Movies, or Spike TV, often reflect the less-accurate version of

events.

In First Blood the audience can see deal with the loss of his friends

and the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress in a world not welcoming of Vietnam

veterans.105 contains some brief scenes of action about a man facing a hostile

105 Mark Walker, Vietnam Veteran Films, (Metuchen: Scarecrow Press, 1991), 62. 40

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nation that he risked his life for. By First Blood Part II the details and message of the

first movie have fallen away as audiences wanted to see more of him killing and less of

him coping with the killing he had already done. This vote is clear as the second action-

packed installment grossed over three times as much as the first. Vietnam is also

notorious for the post-traumatic stress that many veterans ended up with and has become

one of the stereotypes affixed to veterans of that type of jungle warfare.106 Depicted in

movies like Forrest Gump, Born on the Fourth of July, First Blood, and Jarhead post-

traumatic stress is often shown in movies as a way to say that the character served in

Vietnam. It becomes pop-culture shorthand for “war-veteran” to assume that someone

who served in the military during Vietnam was probably damaged when, as has been

discussed in the section on the infantry, most people would have been far away from

combat. even makes fun of this trope in the episode, The Fatigues where a

character wears an old army uniform to work and talks in a grim manner that intimidates

Elaine who ultimately discovers these actions are the result of a bad break-up and not a

war. The trope of the damaged Vietnam veteran can be seen to have permeated American

pop-culture while remaining statistically inaccurate.107

As the American public started immediately being exposed to these highly

inaccurate war movies just after the conclusion of each war, there is obviously

widespread ignorance on the part of the general public regarding the true nature of the

military experience. Even as the war was ongoing, Bob Leckie described walking around

106 Reports of shellshock, combat fatigue, or post-traumatic stress are millennia old with Herodotus describing in book VI chapter 117 the symptoms in the fifth century BC. In this case a young Athenian named Epizelus went blind after the Battle of Marathon without sustaining a physical wound. Lionel Scott, Historical Commentary on Herodotus Book 6, Leiden: BRILL. ProQuest Ebook Central. 2005. Accessed July 5, 2019. 107 It should be noted that for at least a decade after the war ended, the Dept. of Veterans’ Affairs would not recognize post-traumatic stress in Vietnam veterans, so the true number of cases is unknown. 41

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a Navy hospital located on a peaceful, beautiful Pacific island frequented by USO tours

and supply ships, he predicted that “this is what America would hear.” This split between

the public and the military has grown wider across the decades as the military shifted to

an all-volunteer force in 1973 as well as the low number of military members who even

hold a Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) that would likely expose them to combat.

The truth regarding the nature of war is in the public domain and recognized as such.108

The American public votes with their money and their time and routinely opts for a

sanitized version of war and in so doing, opts to not understand what a combat veteran

may have endured.109

Closing thoughts

When an average American imagines a soldier, their image is most likely based

on what they have seen on television and for a few civilians, the stories they have heard

from a relative or a friend. This imagined soldier is probably thought of as the person

who goes into battle even though statistically being a combat arms soldier is in the

minority and seeing combat is statistically rarer still. These experiences were selected as

my focus because veterans describe these jobs as what the general public assumes to be

most people’s occupation in the military. Blockbuster movies premiering in the

immediate post-war years or even during a war shape the public’s image of what fighting

is truly like while being vastly different from the truth. The truth as it has been described

is typically unattractive to most. The truth about a firefight is that most of the time it is

108 This public space of memory will be explored at length in the next chapter. 109 This choice is made evident by the continual lack of popularity when accurate depictions of warfare are shown immediately post-war. 42

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 short, chaotic, and followed by intense boredom. Tim thought back on most of time on combat patrols as so boring that “even if we were fighting Terminators and it was the end of the world it would still be boring… I used to record patrols with a helmet cam and I ended up just having like 45 minutes of nothing but walking through a village and it was the most boring video ever.” However, the soldiers who come out of their military service having endured such events are changed forever. They are no less than someone who has not experienced it, and they do not believe themselves to be more than someone who has not experienced it. For these reasons many veterans have set out to build their subculture, populated only by themselves- the people that they know are part of their tribe.

Across the past eight decades, those who have fought in WWII, Vietnam, and the

War on Terror could likely all tell you about the myriad ways their experience differed from what they thought they were going into. Returning home, each generation has also had to consistently deal with an American public that, on an individual level, has been frequently reported to not properly understand what it is a combat soldier went through.

However, in today’s war, the experiences of a soldier are not something that you have to learn by asking intrusive questions of a new acquaintance.

The widespread digitization of the world has allowed military members to not only connect online but to also share their experiences. World War II saw many photos and some moving images return to the homefront to catalog the war but seldom was actual combat depicted. Conflict in Vietnam, the first televised war, was frequently shown at home on the news but also interpreted for the viewer as well as filmed by a reporter overseas. Only today does the American populace have access to depictions of combat not through the silver screen but through websites like YouTube.

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Chapter III

Commemorating Combat

While it is undeniable that the internet has had a profound effect on society since its invention, veterans have been able to capitalize on the global accessibility offered in the digital age to become a distinct demographic with a developing culture all their own.

For veterans online their community remains largely an open one. Accessible to anyone with an internet connection, yet consistently being left to further evolve its own cultural traits. This chapter turns specific attention to the use of veteran-made combat videos as evidence for the existence of a distinct culture belonging to veterans of the War on

Terror. This distinct culture that stems from the traits prized in the combat arms occupations already discussed is shown to be fairly intricate and well-formed. Through the examination of these videos it is shown that the sharing of video recordings of combat and the reactions to those videos (by veterans and the public) serves as a way for veterans to remember their experience in war and most importantly, veterans can now take control of the narrative regarding their wartime experience. Combat videos serve as an effective example of the newly formed collective, online community that makes of up a lot of the

GWoT veteran culture as well as an example of the growing disconnect between society’s perception of military action overseas and the truth of what really happens.

Previously shown was many veterans’ true experience with combat and how it compared to their misconceptions. Studying the way combat and a deployment in general is remembered will be analyzed by building upon this foundation of who experiences combat, what the culture of a combat-arms occupation (mostly the infantry) is like, and

44

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 what one’s relationship with combat is before and after experiencing it. Growing from this culture of combat, videos serve as a means of direct commemoration for troops to relay their experiences to others of their generation not sitting across the bar from themselves, but perhaps sitting across the world.

Adding further evidence in support of the existence of an emerging and already well-defined subculture native to War on Terror veterans, this chapter will use the popularity of combat videos within the veteran community to bolster this claim. Serving a dual role of giving a brief history of the progression of soldier-recorded deployment videos in the War on Terror as well as explaining the popularity and support, this chapter will show how combat videos are this generation’s new addition to the long history of experiencing and documenting combat. Furthermore, while combat in these videos is shown to be eerily reminiscent of scenes described in Vietnam and World War II memoirs, they can also give direct support to the underlying theme of military culture being far removed from mainstream American society.

While it has just been shown who experiences combat and within what community, it will now be shown in what way GWoT service-members specifically are likely to memorialize their time in the fight. This separation from civilian society that began the moment a person completed their military training is further personified through these videos and shows itself upon separation from the military. In the same way that there is already a new culture unique to War on Terror veterans, there is also a new method and manner of commemorating the combat experience which they have made wholly their own.

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Analyzing soldier-produced digital memorabilia in the War on Terror

Since October of 2001 the United States has taken part in twenty-nine collective

years of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. A full seventeen years spent in Afghanistan

from October 2001 to today and another twelve years spent in Iraq from 2003-2011 and

again from 2014 to today represents well over 2.4 trillion dollars of spending and over

5,000 lives lost.110 Needless to say there are thousands and thousands of hours of news

footage depicting the war, those in it, and what is occurring but that is not the focus of

this section. The focus here is not on feel-good videos made for the people back home

and it is not on newscasts meant to drive home an argument. Instead a new development

in the realm of war commemoration and memorial largely aided by the age of technology

is going to be analyzed. Taking the form of videos made by soldiers themselves as they

are in the midst of their own life-altering engagements with the enemy, videos of combat

as well as the overall responses to said videos from the veteran community will be shown

to represent a far different view of warfare from the one presented to the typical

American.

These two theaters of war coupled with the unparalleled technological growth of

the past two decades have allowed troops to make public their experiences with combat.

From these open-access videos an entire new section of America can be examined that

was never seen before by news crews and by very few embedded journalists: the

American infantryman not prior to combat, nor post-combat, but right in the middle of it.

Any individual with internet access can now find hours and hours of footage of

110 “U.S. CBO Estimates $2.4 Trillion Long-Term War Costs,” Reuters, 24 Oct. 2007. Accessed October 5, 2018. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-iraq-usa-funding/u-s-cbo-estimates-2-4-trillion-long-term-war-costs- idUSN2450753720071024 46

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Americans in the midst of battles with a simple Google search of “combat videos” or

“combat in Iraq/Afghanistan”. The story of these videos all supports the argument of the existence of a very different and distinct culture in the world of combat soldiers that is now available to be seen by anyone, but which still remains mostly viewed by other veterans.

By taking these “home-movies” produced by soldiers, a glimpse into their lives can be made as well as educated analyses regarding their value systems and culture away from the scrutinous eye of the media and the general public back on the homefront. In the same way that many scientists understand the difficulty in observing aspects of nature while not altering it, a reporter can alter the true nature of soldier-to-soldier interactions as the soldiers become more conscious of what they do and make an effort to censor and inhibit some of their actions. Additionally, there is great value to be seen in analyzing what soldiers themselves have made and find value in rather than what a news company chopped together to air after the sports segment.

In this chapter I will not be analyzing battle strategy or combat itself, but rather the ways in which soldiers memorialized their own deployments through combat videos that are shared around a semi-isolated group of veterans holding largely combat-specific occupations. By viewing and breaking down something that holds significant cultural value to these men I am also able to interpret significant traits important to this community such as remaining calm or even joking under fire, competency under extreme duress, and simply enduring similar life-threatening encounters as other soldiers. By making this public I hope to shine a light on a community that is largely misunderstood

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by the general population as being bloodthirsty or damaged and show that many are

simply different and are made so by the experiences, they re-live with this footage.

Methodology

The largest difference between these two works and mine is who holds the power

of praise. In the previously mentioned works it has been state institutions and at the most

liberal of estimates, a family member. The method used to build my argument developed

from watching hours and hours of footage shared amongst thousands of soldiers and

observing their reactions to these videos. Largely fueled by social media, YouTube, and

eventually websites dedicated to showing footage of combat; the methods available for

sharing these videos have grown exponentially in the last few years.

As I have made mention several times of “these videos” or “combat footage” or

“combat video” I will also take this time to explain that this is not in reference to

newsreels or hired civilian production staff. The videos I am referring to were made by

individual service-members with their own cameras and equipment and recorded of their

own volition. The furthest stretch of what I classify as a “combat video” rather than

something of the ilk of news footage would, for example, be someone from Combat

Camera in the Marines.111 This serves as an example of one who is a servicemember and

who goes out with line units strictly to bring back raw footage in some cases, whose job it

is to record firefights on the frontlines but in every instance referenced the videographer

was a military member. While there are hundreds of total videos, the ones I describe in

111“US Marines Getting Hit”, YouTube video, 12:24, posted by Military Footage and Archive, Nov 11, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMud2Et3xsA 48

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detail manage to portray many commonalities seen in hours of footage in just a few

minutes. Videos vary greatly in terms of content; typically consisting of firefights,

pictures of friends, the scenery of their area of operations, and usually a crude joke here

or there. What makes these unique is that the purpose of these videos was not to illicit a

reaction back on the homefront nor to report news but rather as a conscious form of

commemoration of what was recognized by the videographer as a significant event in

their lives with that sentiment being upheld by those who endured similar experiences.112

The videos being analyzed are largely accessible to the public and those that are not

(meaning a privately owned video on a personal computer) are used as evidence of what

came before public sharing of videos was the norm. Using the common-sense idea that a

video’s popularity relative to others around it would indicate support, and observing in-

person support for the actions and reactions seen on the screen, it seems fairly simple to

conclude what is and is not approved of once one is inside this community. When using

the terms “popularity” and “support” I use the number of views a video has as well as the

highest voted comments on said video in order to determine what is and is not popular

among this audience.113

Furthermore, when “the community” is mentioned it should be noted that I am

referring to the online or in-person community of either those holding a combat-oriented

Military Occupational Specialty (Infantry, Artillery, Combat Engineering, Cavalry, or

Special Forces) or in most cases an actual combat veteran. Observing these communities

112 I learned this through personal interviews conducted with many soldiers who have made or been a part of combat videos. Tim Vansyckle specifically mentioned the use of combat videos on his own interviews with me as well as creating his own combat video which is referenced later. 113 For the YouTube channel “Funker530”, the most popular and consistent uploader of combat footage, a “popular” video would be one with over half a million views when many of their other videos only receive a few hundred thousand. 49

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is really very simple once one learns that they exist. You can log on and view them on

Facebook or YouTube or on their current dedicated site, Funker530.114 Reading

comments, descriptions of videos, or articles explaining events in the videos one can get a

sense, strictly a theoretical sense, of what is occurring and why but unless one has also

spent significant time around the community of people in these videos it is unlikely for

the average bystander to see the appeal of watching another person engaged in a fight for

their life.

The Pre-YouTube Era

For combat veterans it is a frequent phenomenon to return from war and reflect

back on it as being a time or experience that few around can understand. The allure of

Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW's) or American Legion posts drew in millions of

veterans of past generations. Today it is social networking communities that giving a

sense of community to veterans in definable ways. No longer must a veteran travel across

their city just for the chance of meeting someone with whom they have common bond. In

fact many VFW posts are now seeing their numbers decline in the face of almost two

decades of war.115 Instead veterans are choosing to log onto Facebook, Reddit, or

YouTube to niche communities made just for their demographic.116 In these communities

videos of firefights from the War on Terror are shared and lauded with praise from prior

114 Funker530 uses (with permission) combat footage from all over the world. This has made it the most popular central location for these types of videos with 1.6 million subscribers at the time of writing. That makes it a fairly successful channel but still a small community/audience when compared to a standard educational channel like CrashCourse with 8.6 million or even another gun/weapon centered channel like DemolitionRanch with 6.2 million. 115Brian Mockenhaupt, “The Changing Face of Veterans of Foreign Wars.” AARP. May 1, 2016. Accessed December 12, 2018. https://www.aarp.org/politics-society/history/info-2016/next-generation-veterans-of-foreign-wars.html#slide1 116 As a matter of fact the sub-heading for my most oft-cited organization, Funker530, reads “Veteran Community & Combat Footage”. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.funker530.com/ 50

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generations as well as from those who may have served in the same war or potentially the

same region in which the video was recorded; a bonding experience which may even

surpass familial ties. Having fought and bled for the same piece of earth as another unites

two people in a truly unique set of circumstances which is greatly aided through today’s

age of technology.117

How can we know that the events commemorated in these videos are

representative of not only the modern grunt’s experience in combat but that it stands out

from what happens or is valued in the civilian world? The fact that a soldier took the time

to record, edit, or put any extra effort into creating a video while in a theater of war

indicates the contents were of considerable importance to them. The effort put into

creating these videos demonstrates a desire for preservation in a similar fashion to a war

journal holding great sentimental value to a soldier fighting in the Civil War.

The purpose of these videos from their very inception was not to be shown to

every person in America as a typical monument may be. They are also not meant to be

secretive and with few exceptions they do not contain anything not meant to be seen by

the public because they contain something illegal.118 The purpose behind their apparent

seclusion is that from their origin these videos were made by soldiers for soldiers.

Evidence for this is seen at the beginning or endings of videos where a title card may

appear saying “dedicated to the men of X Co, X Battalion, X Division” or perhaps the

description may contain a dedication to “John Doe- KIA XX/XX/XXXX”. While many

117 Two of my interviews stick out in my mind because this was the case. Russell Aston and Fernando Sanchez found out years after the fact that they had been in the same area of Afghanistan just a year or two apart and describe feeling an intense bond over that unusual, shared experience. Russell Aston, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. Fernando Sanchez, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 118 Josh. “Special Forces Team Under Investigation After Drive-By Shotgunning.” FUNKER530. January 16, 2018. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.funker530.com/investigation-shotgunning/ 51

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people post videos online of absolutely anything and everything, it is made clear through

these dedications that the intent of publishing a video the world could see was

specifically to memorialize a truly distinct time in many men’s lives and potentially

someone’s ultimate sacrifice. Likewise, comments on videos like this are again atypical

for the standard online community in that they are consistently supportive and claim to be

made by a high number of veterans themselves. Many of the commenters will describe

the dates they were in the military as a way of relating to those in the video or the one

who posted it. Even more rare but all the more heartwarming is seeing someone write of

how they may have been in the same area before or after the events recorded. As such,

even the comments set these videos apart from the rest of the online community which

can easily descend into a cesspool of ignorance and hate but instead is its own

community of support and positivity.

Perhaps the earliest example to these videos to gain popularity within the veteran

community is a Marine’s video from 2005 depicting his unit’s time during the Battle of

Fallujah in Operation Phantom Fury.119 This video set the tone for what a typical combat

or deployment video would have namely explosions, cool rock music in the background,

men kicking in doors, more explosions, a tank running things over, a gunfight every now

and then, and of course; explosions. This video set to the backdrop of a Seether song

contained brief glimpses into the Marines’ operations and was the battalions’ deployment

video.120 Depicting various missions from 3/1 Marines throughout the months long battle

119 “3rd Bn 1sr Marines- Fallujah 2004 music by Seether”. Filmed November-December 2004. YouTube video, 4:45. Posted by Redlined01g, May 21, 2006. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGWlW8uAa8k 120 It is also common for a battalion to publish a deployment video full of photos and videos taken by individuals during their deployment. These videos are usually private, but I have managed to locate and cite a few. 52

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to take the city of Fallujah, the leadership of these marines set out to not only

memorialize this time in their lives but to give the Marines a tangible way to remember

their actions through this video. Beginning with a titlecard describing the infantry unit

shown and the aviation unit supporting them the video overlays the title with audio of

Marines describing how the feel lucky to take part something has large and dangerous as

what they are about to do. “You might be in the Marine Corps for twenty years and never

get this chance again to take out a fortified city full of insurgents,” states an unseen

Marine. The words hang in the air as the man speaking them does not say them lightly or

with regret but with a tone of gratefulness. Some brief instances of combat are shown but

it is very mild with a few people engaging a distant target.121 While Operation Phantom

Fury is notably one of the bloodiest single operations in the War on Terror, there is not a

single shot fired by the cameraman who in this case is likely a battalion-appointed

member of Marine Combat Camera. The video cuts to various parts of the operation

involving close-air support, room-clearing, and tanks destroying walls, buildings, and

equipment. This video was made for all the people of that unit and therefore tries to get

shots of them in action but perhaps due to luck or editing no casualties are shown to be

taken despite the high level (54 Killed In Action, 425 Wounded In Action) taken

overall.122 This video served two purposes upon its release: primarily it was meant to

commemorate for those who were there what would undoubtedly be known as a historic

battle and to excite anyone who saw it as a form of motivational propaganda.123

121 This means that no bullets are coming at the cameraman and he is not shooting back. 122 Thomas E. Ricks, “Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq”, 2007, 400. 123 This purpose, whether intentional or otherwise is reflected in the comments of each site where it is republished and can be seen on the cited home YouTube page. 53

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In the earliest days of the Iraq and Afghan wars when camcorders were still the

most efficient way of recording video it was not unusual for a soldier to take videos of his

convoy driving down a desolate road or of a helicopter providing air support for a unit

inside a town. Very seldom were early-war era124 videos depicting actual combat on the

part of the videographer simply due to the more pressing need of firing your weapon over

pulling out your Sony and making sure you had good lighting. However, the act of self-

produced digital memorabilia can be traced to the start of each large theater of the War on

Terror. In those early days before social media the videos, if they were shared at all, were

only circulated amongst other members of their unit.125

Before the days of YouTube, the sharing of videos was done through the

exchange of videos or digital photo albums of your unit’s exploits overseas.126 As I have

previously mentioned, oftentimes the subjects of these videos or pictures were typical

“cool, action movie attractions” that those who saw movies about the army and wanted to

join would see as thrilling. Imagine the memorable things people take pictures of today:

birthdays, Christmases, special occasions in general. Life changing experiences. War, and

specifically combat and danger, is what these men chose to commemorate when given the

opportunity and they share it at first with those they know can appreciate it.

The first viewers of these videos were those depicted in them. As one person may

decide to give physical copies of the deployment video to friends who were there with

them as a commemoration of their exploits together newer soldier would be cycling into

124 “Early-war era” for my purposes means pre-Afghanistan surge, so before 2009. It reflects an era of advanced technology but contrastingly less developed online communities. 125 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. Jay Walters, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2019. 126 Evidence of this is again taken from oral histories of combat veterans, notably Tim Vansyckle, Matt Bennett, and Jay Walters as they would show me pictures, videos, and souvenirs from their respective tours. 54

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the unit. Privates could be shown videos of prior tours in order to familiarize them with

what they would be facing.127 At times it can be used to intimidate those that senior

soldiers knew were not yet in the correct mindset while those who were in the right

mindset could see the videos and get excited over the potential experiences they could

soon be taking part in. For more seasoned veterans it may be common to share stories at a

bar with someone you just met but have found a connection with through the trials of

combat. This sentiment has grown to sharing videos amongst friends who are also

veterans as a way of relating to one another and knowing that the viewer was one who

would pick up on the true message of the videos and not require the explanations or

masking of emotions that would typically come with showing videos of combat to

someone not initiated into that lifestyle.128

Jay describes the literal value contained in combat videos and their usefulness as a

critical thinking and training tool: “When I watch [combat videos] I put myself in that

scenario. I think ‘well when that happened to me I did this, this, and this. And I start

critiquing the video...then my brother in law, we both watched it, and he said ‘oh this is

so cool, this is like watching SEAL Team 6’. And I thought ‘you’re an idiot get the f**k

away from me right now.’ They’ll look at it more as a movie as opposed to being able to

put themselves in that situation and say ‘wow these guys handled themselves really

f**king good for that situation’ or ‘d*mn if I was there I would’ve done this, this, or this’

127 I have personally witnessed and been a part of this method of training while attending Ft. Benning School of Infantry where it was common for Drill Sergeants to regularly show their own personally gathered videos in order to teach us what good or bad techniques looked like. 128 This evidence comes from each of the author-conducted oral histories as well as personal experience serving several years in a Light Infantry Company. 55

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or ‘when that happened to me I did this but these guys went this way and they had better

results so next time around I’ll try going that way or doing this thing.’”

Another video I will choose to highlight in particular starts as Marines are taking

cover in the defilade of a hilltop in the middle of the Iraqi desert.129 While incoming Al-

Qaeda sniper rounds crack overhead the Marines swear and attempt to maneuver their

men into a position the finds a balance between safety and adequate aggressive posture.

In the first few seconds the cameraman informs the viewer that he has just been shot. The

supplemental information provided in addition to the video tells that the videographer

was a corpsman for the unit. The enemy fire continues to target the men as it can be heard

getting more and more accurate whizzing by the camera in its telltale snap. As the men

around him stay low and attempt to return accurate fire two successive, loud thuds are

heard. Simultaneously several Marines yell out their realization concerning the noises as

they shout “mortars!” A few seconds more feel like an eternity as the leader of the

element begins yelling across the lines to prepare to break contact; they are overwhelmed.

A group of marines to the right of the camera move back to a new position while those

left behind provide covering fire. With one man injured and a hasty retreat necessary, the

video ends as the corpsman’s fellow servicemember starts to help him to his feet to begin

their bound back to meet up with the other marines.

The fact that videos like this and the many that resemble it were not circulated

through society especially in modern times when anyone can share any video at any time

all across the world (think of the Ice Bucket Challenge from just a few years ago) it

stands to reason that what is depicted does not reflect the values everyday people live

129Josh. “Camera Man Shot, Marines Pinned Down in Haqlaniyah.” Funker530, 2 Oct. 2018. Accessed October 1, 2018. www.funker530.com/camera-man-shot/. 56

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their lives by or experiences they want to identify with. This adds support to the argument

that there is a distinct disconnect between military and civilian culture. In an age of

videos going viral every day, as well as high overall support for the military, it seems that

these videos should theoretically have larger exposure. This in itself should be a little

surprising given the incredibly high approval rating of our military by the general

populace.130 Therefore with access to these videos even as recently as the last decade it

remains clear that mainstream (civilian) American society purposefully wants to distance

itself between what really goes on in war and what they want to take in.

If veterans throughout the years have described a resentment for how little society

knows about their job, why would they create a memorial meant to be seen by everyone?

It is simple, they would not. Tim offers some skepticism regarding uninformed viewing

of military-produced media by saying “when you look at it through a lens from the safety

of your own home it can be entertaining, and you can share in that experience without

having to do it. It can cause changes that I don’t know how to predict whether that will be

good or bad.”131 Just as the last chapter explained how much there was about military life

and combat that is not shown or circulated in American pop-culture, veterans have not

created these memorials of their time overseas to be seen by the average American; they

were made for their brothers and sisters in arms. Walking around the various war

memorials in Washington D.C. there are plaques that may give a brief overview of what

the monument commemorates.132 Finding a small, state-level historical marker one will

get a description of an event and the location’s place in history. Whenever there is not

130 “Confidence in Institutions.” Gallup, Inc. 2018. Accessed July 6, 2019. https://news.gallup.com/poll/1597/confidence-institutions.aspx 131 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 132 Patrick Hagopian, The Vietnam War in American Memory, (Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press, 2009). 57

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Korean War Memorial where stone soldiers conduct a patrol through a field. In this case, combat videos fall into the latter category of bearing no context more than perhaps a simple location and time description of where the events occurred. The rest, it can be assumed, the viewer is supposed to be able to understand from their own experience.

These videos still serve as memorials, but they are made to be exclusive. In sharing videos of combat with little or no context, veterans know that likely the only people who can appreciate all the small things occurring in the video are those who have been a part of that legacy. These means of remembrance are not created to be viewed by the person on the street who cannot distinguish a Navy uniform from an Air Force uniform. These videos are made specifically to be appreciated by others who have served in a similar capacity at some point in their life.

The Age of Viral Videos

The sharing of this digital war memorabilia turned a corner with the widespread ability to post a video on YouTube or any other video sharing site and have everyone from a unit past and present email it to one another so that they can collectively remember their wartime experiences. With this technological turn comes a change in the definition of the word “sharing.” Taking on a new virtual meaning in the more connected age of broadband internet, sharing now denotes the act of sending someone a link to a video instead of handing them a physical copy of a disk containing footage. As I have argued before, the very action of a soldier going out of their way to record firefights denotes that there is a significance to such an event due to the many other pressing matters to immediately attend to. It can also be understood that the great risk or effort one 58

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goes to to get a picture or video, the more value it holds to them personally. To those who

hold a combat MOS, being in combat is largely the reason they joined the military in the

first place.133

The next major turning point in the popularity of these videos is when people who

were not in the units depicted began to watch and join in on the support. This was

furthered not only by Facebook allowing communities of veterans to share things

amongst themselves but by the website, Funker530, providing a central location for one

to watch videos of combat. What is largely still a community of veterans, it becomes

readily apparent that a value system in support of overcoming the various trials of war

previously mentioned exists across the entirety of combat arms skills.134 Infantrymen like

watching a tank use its main gun just as tankers enjoy watching a good firefight. The

intricacies of the job may be different, but that nature of their work is similar. The traits

of collection under fire and laconic remarks in the midst of life-threatening projectiles

earn men praise amongst their warrior peers.

While a video may not purposefully focus on a soldier’s bravery, the pure

happenstance of it being captured on camera makes it truly much more remarkable. An

example of this can be witnessed as one autumn day in Logar Province, Afghanistan, an

army patrol is ambushed by Taliban insurgents.135 All captured on video and lasting close

to ten minutes, this firefight ultimately saw three Taliban fighters killed. It begins with

133 This is another sentiment that has been echoed by every single one of my interviews with combat veterans as well as scores of veterans’ autobiographies. 134 This “support” is taken from comment sections of videos either on the cited YouTube pages or the accompanying Facebook page. 135 “US Soldiers Eliminate Three Taliban Fighters During Ambush”. YouTube video, 11:34. Posted by Funker530- Veteran Community & Combat Footage, August 6, 2014. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYSCuAfOc5g 59

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what seems to be an ordinary walk through the woods in a part of a country that most

back home would never look at and classify as a warzone. Soon it becomes apparent that

the soldier wearing the camera has not only found himself in a gunfight but has been

caught in a near-ambush.136 Continuing to move and expose themselves to enemy fire,

these soldiers aggressively close on an enemy whose size and equipment remains

unknown for the duration of the fight. A careful viewer can see as the helmet of the

cameraman is grazed by a bullet but no enemy can be seen during this fight, a typical

occurrence in these videos.137 The video concludes with the videographer, probably a

squad leader based on his equipment and mannerisms, getting his men ready to continue

their mission as they go about their day in Eastern Afghanistan.

In another part of Afghanistan at an undisclosed time and place a Special Forces

team138 is engaged with a Taliban force of formidable size and strength.139 As he

constantly shifts position to cover multiple sectors of fire as well as making himself a

harder target, this soldier lays down long bursts of covering fire. Burning through so

much ammunition that he needs a resupply from a teammate, the cameraman here

prepares to reload his weapon even as he can hear the voices of his enemy nearby.140 Like

an angel from the heavens, the roar of an engine becomes audible as an A-10 Warthog

comes into the camera’s view. Giving new life to the fight and no doubt being directed by

136 Close range or a near-ambush is typically classified as 35 meters or less. If you are within grenade-throwing range, it is close combat. 137 Enemy combatants are rarely seen simply due to the fact that eyes can see much further and focus than cameras can. It also shows that those watching and supporting the videos are not out to watch people get killed but more likely they watch because they enjoy seeing the Americans survive. 138 Special Forces teams are much smaller and typically more isolated than a standard infantry platoon that goes out with over thirty men at a time, therefore it is much easier for these men to be at a numerical disadvantage. 139 "A 10 Saves My Life," YouTube video, 9:40. Posted by Gilbert Beltran, November 03, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LENv3L_zbjg. 140 At this range the enemy is what is called “danger close”, meaning within 600 meters of the observer. This also means that artillery is much tougher to direct without the potential for injuring your own troops. 60

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the Combat Controller attached to the team, the Warthog gives hope to what may have

otherwise been this soldier’s last day. As the soldier continues to fight, the audience can

see the A-10 circle above before facing the enemy and fires its cannon into the group of

insurgents filling the air with the notable sound resembling heavy burlap being torn from

end to end. Using the fear and suppressing power of the Warthogs for cover, the soldiers

get back to their trucks where they begin a round of mortar fire against the insurgents’

position. As the video closes the soldier puts up a title card thanking the pilots of the A-

10s for their help that day.

The comments of both videos are praising in nature to say the least.141 The

audience, this time a decent mix of civilians and veterans alike,142 lauds praise on the

men in the video for how they handled their encounter with the enemy through immediate

and aggressive actions. The men are described as “brave” and “courageous” by those who

“safely watch from [my] office chair.” So while the original contributors may not have

meant to show off their courageous actions it seems the court of public opinion has

deemed him and his men heroes for their efforts that day. Another significance of each of

these videos is that while some insurgents were undoubtedly killed in the conflict, they

are never seen on camera. Therefore, it is important to note that the people watching were

not able to watch someone get brutally slain, but rather simply a soldier’s point-of-view

as they fight.

While a teenager can grow up in America seeing war movies and being told to

“support the troops” they may join up in a combat oriented section of the Army or Marine

141 All told, there is a total of around 85 thousand comments, far and away the highest number for any of these videos. 142 These videos had a much longer duration of “exposure” as well as significantly higher view counts (11m and 10m respectively) accounting for their wider audience. 61

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Corps and be thrust into a totally new world.143 This new world is nothing like what they

saw on television or in the movies but they still feel support from those at home when

they return to visit or meet new people. This feeling of acceptance in society slowly

erodes as they become more and more infused with the new culture that their upbringing

has told them to become a part of. One aspect of this culture native to the War on Terror

is this digital memorial of combat created by those who were there and also maintain sole

control when dictating the significance of such events to be received by all who view.

When attempting to merge their old life with their new one, most soldiers find that people

from their civilian life want nothing to do with these videos or discussions and therefore

have to choose between the two cultures.

Memoirs of wars past often have a small section in which the author shows any

personal pictures of their time in the war. Marines on the islands of the pacific,144 grunts

in the jungles of Vietnam,145 even some soldiers in the deserts of Iraq or Kuwait.146 Many

service-members keep physical reminders of their experience but very seldom does that

reminder include actual combat. This distinction is what sets the more modern era of the

War on Terror apart as actual instances of combat are visible and re-livable for the

veterans. With the availability of self-publishing a video, one is also able to give the

video context and/or significance. Sometimes the videos are given none and the contents

speaks for themselves. Other times the videos are dedicated to a unit or a fallen comrade

as stated before. No matter what, the significance remains that the GWoT soldier is now

143 This hypothetical is an amalgamation of the experiences described by all of my oral history interviews. Each one describes situations and feelings mirroring this story. 144Leckie, Helmet for my Pillow, 313. 145 Santoli, Everything We Had, 110-111. 146 Fick, One Bullet Away, 254-255. 62

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given direct control over what is known about their experience in a way that was never

available through simply finding and old photo album.

The videos of Operation Phantom Fury in Fallujah and of Special Forces

operators under fire deep in Afghanistan both mirror the events from previous

generations’ experiences in battle. Oral histories collected in the books Everything We

Had and Voices from Vietnam also illustrate the same turns of events where a man is hit

with the rest of his team now bearing responsibility for his safety.147 In famous

autobiographies from World War II like Helmet for My Pillow and With the Old Breed, a

firefight typically occurs in the same manner as one sees in a video from the early years

of the Iraq War.148 Not only do these videos serve the purpose of validating what

someone may have read a long time ago, it goes further to give society the opportunity to

understand exactly what the war may have been like for someone serving in combat.

Unfortunately, this has yet to be seen as the case. Veterans still report feeling a distance

between themselves and society despite the availability of this experience to the general

public.149

When the fight turns ugly

What embodies the disconnect between society and combat soldiers? The idea of

watching a firefight may seem repulsive or at the very least strange to many civilians as it

comes across as a dark delineation from simply watching an action movie; these are real

147 Calkins and Verrone, Voices from Vietnam, 62. 148 Leckie, Helmet for My Pillow, 75. Sledge, With the Old Breed, 117. 149 Nathaniel Fick describes this feeling upon his return home from Iraq in 2003, not far removed from the time the video in question was recorded and certainly not removed at all from when news channels were airing video of the war every night. Fick, One Bullet Away, 363. 63

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people with real lives that you are seeing almost come to an end right on your computer

screen. However from the point of view of many combat veterans, or those who are

hoping and preparing to go into combat, the videos represent something else entirely; a

brotherhood bonded through suffering.150 The most popular videos shared around have

several common themes among them including overwhelming firepower, lots of

profanity, and perhaps most surprisingly people keeping a relatively level head. It should

also be noted that typically the soldiers involved make it out of the fight uninjured or at

least alive which once you think about it, does seem a little unusual, but there are still

surprising reactions when this is not the case.

In another video, this time coming from the surge-era fields of Afghanistan,

depicts two casualties being taken by a marine element on patrol.151 Taking place from

the point of view of the Squad Designated Marksman at least a few seconds into the

engagement. As the marine moves up to his position and begins to engage the enemy the

squeal of a bullet is heard nearby and immediately stops just as screaming fills the air.

The man just a few meters away took a bullet to his shoulder and immediately starts

calling for aid. Standing up while still under fire, the cameraman runs over to his friend

and immediately begins to strip him of his gear so that aid can be applied. Within just a

few seconds their corpsman has rushed over and taken over the casualty while quipping

how the wounded man gets to “go to college for free now.” As the cameraman and

corpsman apply combat gauze to the wound, they are informed that yet another marine

150 The “Band of Brothers” thesis that soldiers bond through hardship and shared experience is a universally recognized truth within any combat arms MOS and has been articulated or summarized in every single oral history I have conducted to date. 151 “Raw Combat Footage United State Marines Wounded In Afghanistan”, YouTube video, 3:45, posted by Deadbolt1975, Sep 11, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prYu928LFMc 64

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has been wounded, this time in the head. The video cuts to the wounded marine being

helped into the medevac helicopter by his friend and concludes with an image of the

marine with a head injury, already aboard the helicopter, reaching out to take the hand of

his friend.

While surviving a firefight is not a surprising feat in general it is interesting to

note that videos in which someone does get injured are not lambasted for showing

something that many would consider demoralizing. In fact the top comments on this

video are praising the corpsman, enjoying the dark joke he makes, or commenting how

lucky both of the men are that their wounds were only superficial.152 The brotherhood

bonded through suffering mentioned previously is exceedingly important in videos

depicting friendly casualties.

The intended audience of combat videos is not necessarily repulsed or shocked by

the idea of an American getting shot, it is not a welcomed sight but to most it is an all too

likely reality of a job they either currently hold or used to hold. No one is seen

mentioning anything as being “too much” when they just observed an American bleeding

and wounded on their computer screen, after all most people knew what they may see.

Instead the focus is on praising the training and efforts of the combat medic or corpsman,

someone who many grunts owe their lives to and everyone in an infantry platoon revere

as being just short of the second coming of Christ himself. The incredibly high risk of

injury and danger are not what shine through as being noteworthy to the intended

audience of videos such as this. Overcoming an injury, surpassing danger and

overwhelming it with firepower and bravery, laughing off a scrape with death that was

152 “Raw Combat Footage United State Marines Wounded In Afghanistan”, YouTube video, 3:45, posted by Deadbolt1975, Sep 11, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prYu928LFMc 65

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not the first and would not be the last; these are all things that stand out in self-made

footage of combat as being outstanding. If the same video were seen by many not

acquainted with the gallows humor permeating the lifestyle of the military the entire

purpose of the video would be lost.

However, fact that someone was injured at all, that someone almost died or is in

immediate danger is not even registered as being on the scale of “abnormal” to the

intended audience because in the mind of the filmmaker and to combat soldiers none of

these things are a surprise, they are a simple fact of what has become their new everyday

life. Treating injuries, performance under fire, and responding accordingly are not things

that a typical American worries about on a day-to-day basis and this further solidifies the

intended audience as being those closely related to events taking place. Those are the

actions which are praised in this video and in the many others which depict similar

circumstances.

This discrepancy between the fighting spirit extolled in combat and the docile

nature of stateside life which a soldier is expected to immediately transition into is

exasperating to say the least. An instance of wartime norms being incompatible with life

at home is recorded as Marine Lieutenant Nate Fick is almost denied entry into graduate

school. After reading an article in which prominently features Fick’s time

leading reconnaissance marines Iraq, one of the heads of admission almost denied Fick’s

admittance because he was quoted in combat as saying, “the bad news is we won’t get

much sleep tonight; the good news is, we get to kill people.”153 Showing the harsh

transition expected of servicemembers also offers a brief insight into why so many may

153 Fick, One Bullet Away, 368. 66

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return to reminisce with videos as dark as this one. Videos of combat offer this new

generation of veterans a way to silently stay involved in their community from the

comfort of their home. What began innocently as young men documenting their

experiences for later view has now come to drive many further into self-isolating

communities. In other words, with today’s technology it would be possible for one to

assume that those back home would be happy to see what the soldiers they (the voters

and American public) sent the soldiers to go do. With such high overall support for the

military in recent decades, a soldier may not be remiss in thinking that their effort in the

fight is something they should be proud of should they feel that way. However, as Lt.

Fick describes, the response from the homefront is one asking those fighting to not enjoy

what parts of their job they can enjoy. Therefore, over time, veterans describe

increasingly looking towards only other veterans for friendship with much of it available

online.154

When the fight gets funny

Just as a video showing a received casualty may not be shocking to most viewers,

especially the intended audience, some videos that come across as a typical combat video

are meant to be humorous and darkly comical. An example of a video that is meant to be

received in a lighthearted way begins with a patrol through a marijuana field in

Afghanistan; already a decent setup for a funny video. First uploaded in 2012, this video

has gained about 3.5 million views, a lot for combat footage.155 The video also became

154 Antonio Sanchez, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 155 “M240 Helmet Cam Firefight in Afghanistan”, YouTube video, 5:00, posted by Funker530- Veteran Community & Combat Footage, Jan 2, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRPCNUzkqXk&t=53s 67

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one of the first combat videos to be made into a meme and receive widespread popularity

among the veteran community in the modern era of the War on Terror.156 The perspective

is from the helmet camera of a machinegunner as he walks his patrol route. In this

particular video the start of the firefight is actually heard as rounds crack around the

marine causing him to hit the ground as fast as possible. Swearing at the inconvenience of

now being forced to lift his bodyweight, gear, and machine gun off the ground (easily

weighing an excess of one hundred extra pounds) he pulls the charging handle back and

roughly pushes it back forward ready to do its job. He stands up screaming and

unleashing his entire hundred round starter-belt in the direction of the shots he first

received. Yelling and swearing at his enemy while also probably more than happy to

relieve himself of six pounds of weight, he empties his gun and drops back to the ground.

As he gets another two hundred rounds ready to go the viewer can hear the marines’

teammates around him getting organized and planning to get back to their outpost. On the

way back more rounds are fired at the marines with no one being seriously injured as the

video concludes with the marines giving shelter and water to civilians inside their

outpost.

The cultural disparity between civilian and veteran becomes expressly clear as a

video that is supposed to be comedic in nature would be and is received by most as

another video depicting the horror and trials of war. Instead, the video serves as an

example of what a member of the combat-focused community sees, a straightforward

sample of evidence depicting the monotony and aggravation typically felt by someone

156 My definition of “modern era” with respect to the War on Terror is a post-surge term meaning from 2009 onward. Differences reflected in this time period as opposed to the “early years” of the war include regular overseas access to the internet, widespread civilian use of YouTube, and Facebook offering a new dimension to the social media world. 68

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who has been carrying close to their body weight in equipment for hours and who is now

in all likelihood glad to be rid of the weight of one hundred less bullets. Again, the

comments reflect a similar story as people are mostly joking about the harm done to the

weed growing in the field or the cursing match this marine gets into and sheer

exasperation with which he approaches what may be a life or death scenario. This is a

man who, in that given moment, is more annoyed about the fact that taking contact means

he now has to run with his gear than he is about the fact that someone is trying to kill

him. To many veterans this is an all too relatable feeling and an experience which a

civilian may need some explanation in order to get the “joke”.

Getting the “joke”

In his oral history, Fernando Sanchez described this feeling of not wanting to get

into a topic like the intricacies of combat experience with a stranger or even family

member because it requires so much explanation.157 This aspect of emotional labor is one

which prevents many civilians from learning about the unseen aspects that comprise

veteran society. Furthermore, from the homecoming experience of World War II Marine

mortarman Eugene Sledge to that of Iraq and Afghanistan War veteran Jay Walters, the

public is seen by veterans as having no true interest in the their combat experience.158 Jay

described the experience of being asked about combat by someone he just met by saying

“they don’t really wanna know. They just treat you like a show-pony expecting you to tell

them a story but they don’t care about you as a person, so I make sure to disappoint them.

I just tell them ‘I did my job’ and since most people don’t care and just wanted to hear a

157 Fernando Sanchez, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 158 Sledge, China Marine, 130. 69

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story that shuts them up. They feel entitled to a story about something that personal and

they just met me.”159

Tim also explained this divide that only comes from being acclimated to the

nature of combat: “That all goes to a really specific audience. Veterans. People who

haven’t deployed and been part of the whole machine [don’t]. On the homefront,

[veterans] still get it. It’s something we all have in common, the banter, going to the

field...rough language, gallows humor, the First Sergeant or Drill Sergeant type of

character that we all recognize, being in a war that was pointless. The absurdity of

everything- I think that brought out a lot more humor than people think… you have to BE

in the military to enjoy the f**k outta that”160

Many videos also contain footage of non-combat activities such as soldiers joking

around and having fun. These parts of the videos serve the same purpose as an old home

movie in that one can watch and remember who was a part of their platoon or squad.

Having only videos of these “cool” moments of combat can give the impression to those

who were not there and are not familiar with this community that these experiences

reflect the whole football game and not just a highlight reel of the entire league’s season

as it were. This can lead to a continuation of the unsupported assumptions held by many

outside of the military. As has been discussed in the prior chapter it is a frequent

misconception to believe that most of one’s year overseas is spent engaging in dangerous

operations and near-death experiences when in fact combat is the exception and thus

viewed as exceptional.

159 Jay Walters, Oral History #2, Interview by author, 2019. 160 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 70

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Civilians may make a memorial video about a fallen soldier that shows the man at

his high school or boot camp graduation or maybe having fun at a birthday party or with

relatives, but soldiers commemorate their friends in what they see as the epitome of their

lives; combat. Anthony Swofford details this difference in his book Jarhead as he

describes the funeral for one of his friends which was attended by fellow Marines who

knew the deceased in a far different light than what was presented in his eulogy.161 Both

groups, civilians and servicemen, still saw him as a good man but the values exemplified

which made him “good” were vastly different.162

In modern day and usage, videos of combat are shared around semi-close knit

communities that extoll these actions as the representation of a person’s character.163

When watching any number of videos, the comment section can again be a useful tool

especially when on the most popular Facebook page for combat footage, Funker530.

While it may still be true that any idiot can post any idiotic comment they please, these

pages seem to represent a remarkable exception in displaying a high level of positivity to

the videographer.164 Furthermore, many of the commenters identify themselves openly as

veterans or non-veterans so the veteran-heavy demographics of the page are readily

apparent. A civilian may remember someone as a great father, a loving husband, or

maybe a good friend but to soldiers the first thing often remembered about another

soldier is how they performed their duties under fire. For it is under fire that the job those

161 Swofford, Jarhead: A Marine's Chronicle of the Gulf War and Other Battles, 81. 162 This belief was also discussed in my oral histories. 163 Again, the evidence from this is gained through oral histories as well as personal experience in observing how soldiers would talk about men depicted in their own deployment videos. 164 Positivity and support are judged by what the commenting author said as well as the ways in which negative comments receive negative feedback and encouraging comments receive positive feedback whether through expressed written agreement or “likes”. 71

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men trained years and years for is truly realized and in those moments that someone’s

true worth is shown amongst this peer group. It is often that someone is recognized as a

“horrible soldier in garrison, but a great soldier in the field” meaning back home they

probably have a multitude of problems up to and including abiding by the law but in

combat there is no one better to have and that is the key value that trumps all else in the

community of combat soldiers.165

Civilian videos about the War on Terror

Just as I have focused narrowly on the method of digitally commemorating a war

used by those who were fighting it, it is also a valuable experience to zoom out a little

and look at how the same war is digitally commemorated by civilians and those who are

not serving in it. I am sure a very sizable portion of any group of Americans one could

select have seen videos online of troops returning home and surprising their families and

loved ones with their arrival and that scene of a homecoming potentially makes up the

most sizable amount of a citizens recent exposure to the war.

For the non-military social bubble, the world of the War on Terror typically

extends as far as someone’s computer screen and thought about the conflict is typically

contained to a few minutes at a time or however long their attention span can hold out

before scrolling down the page further and seeing a kitten video posted by one of their

friends. When constricted to these small segments of time and exposure a similar method

of discerning values is exposed in the population of those at home. Videos of

homecomings are far and away the most popular and shared videos of soldiers based on

165 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. Daniel Hernandez, Oral history #4, Interview by author, 2018. 72

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view counts, subscriptions, and sheer breadth of their receptive audience.166 More than

likely, homecoming videos are the most consistent reminder of the wars’ existence to a

member of the general public. In fact, when searching the phrase “soldier” on YouTube

the very first result is “soldier coming home.” Exploring that category shows an entire

channel dedicated to homecoming videos in the same way that Funker530 focuses on

combat. In this case however, each video has millions of views with some going as high

as 46 million.167 There are compilations of soldier homecomings taking dozens of these

instances and putting them in the span of ten minutes. The message conveyed by the

abundance and significantly higher levels of viewership is that the average person’s only

mental engagement with the War on Terror is when they watch a homecoming video. The

disconnect between society and veterans is not simply the veteran having been changed

by war but also society as a whole deciding what they do and do not want to learn about

the experiences endured by many veterans. A typical American who only sees videos of

homecomings may think “oh that’s sweet, he’s home with his family” or “how nice, they

all made it back. Good for them” without understanding the true nature of what someone

is actually coming home from.

What many people do not see and fail to realize, whether intentionally or not, is

the gritty side of war that has largely been reserved for only those who were there and

understand it. Instead most thoughts turn to the idea of everyone coming home but what

remains absent from many of the feel-good, made-for-public homecoming videos is how

166“Soldiers coming home,” YouTube. Accessed May 14, 2019. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=soldiers+coming+home 167 “Soldier Homecoming: Soldiers Surprise Their Kids”, YouTube video, 7:52, Posted by Epic Laughs, January 18, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-uU8Wxczp4 This video has the highest view count on the first page of results with 46 million views. 73

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 many did not return. How many were sent home wounded before their final formation, how many stand in that formation mentally scarred by what they saw or were forced to take part in is not shown to the general public as a portion of what gets self-selected to be their representation of the war. In this new digital age a person is able to choose what they take in from any number of reputable or disreputable news outlets; an opportunity granted to no previous generation. Combat videos were specifically made for a niche group of people but they are now fully accessible to a general public that still remains ignorant as to the true nature of America’s longest war.

Closing thoughts

So having analyzed what is usually presented in these videos (saving lives, making , shooting at people, having fun, etc.) it is important to note more of the major reason this community has remained largely isolated. As previously mentioned, there are certain actions and characteristics demonstrated by the subjects of these videos that come from living a far different life and being trained in wildly different skills than the average American. As such a completely new set of values is demonstrated among the members of combat arms occupations that conflicts with what the military likes to present as the image of its members. After almost three total decades of war the supreme reign of decisive violence, animal-like depravity, and unparalleled aggression have come to be honored as representing an upstanding soldier amongst the ranks of those fighting.

So long as those traits are focused away from Americans, it will remain unknown that a generation of Americans have evolved under fire to exhibit traits which stand directly opposed to what is typically condoned in American “civilized” society.

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With the foundation of public information largely built around pop-culture

depictions of the military it is no wonder that when the true, much more horrific nature of

conflict is discovered it is typically less popular than a sanitized version or a feel-good

story. It also stands to reason that war and images, videos, and descriptions thereof are

not commonplace to many is simply because they find the topic unpleasant as do most

human beings.168 However, these videos only made possible by recent technological

strides show how the acute culture of combat-arms occupations can continue to manifest

itself after conflict has subsided and is now in the memory of its participants.

The reason combat videos are not more popular falls directly in line with the

conflict of values between the culture of war that embodies the military’s combat arms

and culture of domesticity that embodies everyday stateside life. Those on the homefront

being able to choose for themselves what does and does not represent their War on Terror

causes a severe split between concept and reality. To the public, the war they are a part of

is one where the best, bravest, and most honorable men and women whom America has

to offer go off somewhere vaguely distant and do things that they dare not ask about nor

criticize (lest they be deemed un-American) but that is assumed to be universally

dangerous for all involved. The general public goes to movies like American Sniper and

12 Strong where the noble American full of righteous purpose in his infallibility calmly

defeats his enemies. If American servicemembers in movies are shown to be wounded or

killed it is for a noble cause and it was largely unavoidable. The 21st century American's

War on Terror involves buying a beer for a soldier at a restaurant and sometimes publicly

saying “thank you for your service.” The 21st century American can even have a child in

168 Dave Grossman in his book On Killing actually discusses the human aversion or non-aversion to violence and will be covered more extensively in the next chapter. 75

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the military, one who may even be a combat veteran, while remaining largely removed

from what their experience of war was like.169 In World War II most people would have a

relative in the military if not an immediate family member and they as a civilian would

still be contributing to the war effort in some way. In Vietnam the war was constant

public news and the driving force behind many political stances of the day. In modern

times, one can typically filter out what they want to hear about the war because it is on

the periphery of public consciousness. Videos of troops coming home or singing along to

music videos are by choice the typical extent of the public’s view of the war. As a result,

the public’s collective memory of these recent wars or combat in general is not the

confusion, violence, and extremes of human emotion exhibited and understood by those

who experienced the fog of war themselves.

So just as many civilians can watch videos of homecomings and maybe even hear

about how combat operations are supposedly at an end in Afghanistan, veterans see

evidence to the contrary throughout their own smaller social bubbles where colleagues

from the front lines are actually able to share their experiences. As most civilians are able

to think of the war and the first image that comes to their mind is someone returning

home; for many combat veterans their experience bears a striking resemblance to what

has been memorialized in videos that will hopefully persist indefinitely allowing anyone

who decides to venture out of the comfort zone of their social bubble to see what is really

happening in the War on Terror. Just as social norms dictate the traits of humility and

peacefulness be extolled in direct opposition to the characteristics of rowdiness and

supreme violence which are held in high esteem in the midst of combat, the social

169 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 76

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memory of the War on Terror is often clouded with many homecomings when in fact

those who experienced what society is remembering have yet to fully come home.

Forged from the mindset instilled in their earliest military training and tempered

with the tough culture of a combat-arms occupation it is no wonder that many soldiers

look fondly at harrowing events experienced by others or themselves as a time

representing honor, brotherhood, and simplicity.170 War has been previously described as

permanently changing a person’s mind not necessarily in a negative way, but changing it

nonetheless. So the way in which a veteran remembers war will likely not coincide with

the way a state or collective of civilians remembers the war, an event they were not there

to witness. As a combat soldier in the 21st century leaves the military, they can enter a

virtual world of remembrance and an echo-chamber of support for better or for worse.

170 Antonio Sanchez, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. Daniel Hernandez, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 77

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Chapter IV

You’re Welcome for My Service

There is an undoubtedly new and distinct culture for combat veterans of the War on Terror. As the first chapter showed that military life and combat as a whole is different from society’s preconceived ideas and the second chapter explored the history of soldier self-memorialization in the form of combat videos, this chapter will explore the ways in which the post-military combat-veterans have taken an active role in trying to shape public opinion about their service while also battling the negative imagery that surrounds their demographic. Overall this chapter will further support the main argument of there being a distinct culture to veterans of the War on Terror by showing that once again, what society (and in many cases the rest of the military) is shown by the media and that state is far different from the reality seen in the world of combat arms. Modern military culture continues the legacy of World War II and Vietnam era veterans but with a new spin mostly centering around the advancements in technology creating a singular place for veterans to virtually congregate. This chapter will explore what life is like for many returning veterans of combat arms deployments and how changes in the cultural image of a veteran as well as access to other veterans has fostered a tightly connected demographic of service-members that spans the entirety of America.

The life of a post-combat veteran can be many things, but it is not monolithic. The

War on Terror has covered several countries with Iraq and Afghanistan being the focus of most operations. In those two countries the United States has been operating off and on since 2003 and continuously since 2001, respectively. These areas are some of the most tribal and distinctive in the world for they have such different cultures, languages, and

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 practices in a relatively small space. Furthermore, both states are not adjacent to one another and do not share the same terrain or geography. With so many differences it actually seems logical for some in the future to view these wars as very separate instances like the way modern historians view WWII and the Vietnam War. However, it’s the differences that are so important to creating the identity of the War on Terror veteran.

Across cumulative decades of war and an experience that reaches across entire countries and regions, common bonds are regularly found and shared experience among veterans is actually the norm rather than the exception.

The role of the media in veteran-social relations is proven to be both an outside actor and one in which modern veterans have demonstrated a rapidly increasing amount of agency and resourcefulness. The role of the veteran in society has similarly changed across the decades to a point where now veterans are viewed as either a victim or a hero, sometimes both. Further change will be shown in the way that veterans choose to represent themselves in public and in the “privacy” of their newly created online communities that are open to all but remain mostly veteran-only zones. Each resource confirms the existence of a demographic with an elevated desire to both receive recognition for their service but to also not be a part of the society from which they desire praise. With these points outlined I will show how the modern combat veteran follows in the footsteps of many misunderstood subcultures before them as they play a dual role of both actor and reactor. The potentially conflicting roles are exemplified as veterans create their own space and identity while simultaneously trying to contend with the image received by a much wider audience than they can reach.

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This chapter will explore the modern variant of veteran culture by showing what has changed and what has remained the same across the decades. For this chapter I’ve pulled together traditional textual sources like autobiographies, Department of Defense reports, and magazine articles from embedded reporters. Put alongside more modern and harder to locate sources such as blogs, YouTube videos, web comics, Facebook pages, and my own personally conducted oral histories a reader can come away from this chapter understanding what modern veteran culture is really all about.

When it comes to the “modern veteran,” the term applies to veterans who served in the Post-9/11 world. Like the Greatest Generation or the Baby Boomers, the Post-9/11 veterans, specifically combat arms veterans, have developed an unusual culture all their own. Not simply a response to the type of combat they saw as seen in chapter one but mostly a result of the new digital age. The modern veteran has firmly taken their place among society while also claiming to be a part of the mainstream.

As focus is shifted to the experiences of veterans it is important to make the distinction again between combat soldiers and all others. First off combat soldiers, while they may have creative and derogatory nicknames for non-combat occupations, usually do not look down on them. However, the reason I make the distinction in my writing and research regarding soldiers who have been in combat and those who have not is simply because of the role movies and television have played in shaping the image of military life. Society is incorrectly shown a military experience that places most soldiers in the line of fire. Society also has come to expect certain traits from veterans which are not typically exhibited by combat arms soldiers. Most soldiers do not see combat even if they are deployed to a combat zone. Most military members do not hold a job that would see

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 them firing at an enemy outside of a grand overrun of their base. This distinction is made because as I move through the chapter, the role of the media as it relates to veterans will become prominent.

Mostly staffed by non-veterans, the media has a tough time even knowing that different jobs exist within the army or the Marine Corps- the two branches who endure the brunt of combat action as well as combat-related casualties. If this is a relatively unknown depth of knowledge for the general public to have then it is an unreasonable expectation for someone to be able to differentiate simply deploying to Iraq and stacking on a door in a Mosul alleyway as two far different things. Therefore, I will consistently reference the experience and opinion of combat veterans when applicable because it shows an outlook that often contrasts those of non-combat veterans in the face of a monolithic media portrayal of the “American veteran”.

This chapter is organized is a fairly simple way. A split is shown between what has changed in the veteran community since World War II and what has remained the same. Truly there are experiences that an infantryman who served in Tikrit can share with one who fought on Cape Gloucester. Similarly, there are still things that a radio operator for the Air Force who enlisted in 2014 can share with a Marine serving as a member of an artillery battery. Era and occupation bond service-members who have become a part of a unique occupation and will always be just a little different than their civilian counterparts.

As the physical traits of modern veteran culture are explained by those within the community it will also be argued that civilians have started to try and become a part of this veteran community through both direct falsehood and a reliance on public ignorance.

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What has remained the same?

What would a marine veteran of the Guadalcanal campaign possibly have in

common with a Force Reconnaissance operator in 2003? Outside of the required mental

and physical toughness there are quite a number of experiences shared by the two peers

and this section looks to examine them. A common adage heard about war is that only the

uniforms and equipment change, the rest remains the same. While some aspects of this

maxim are true in that war takes courage, sacrifice, and a bit of foolhardiness- war also

evolves greatly.

The most interesting sections of many autobiographies of veterans is the

afterword or the epilogue. To me this is the most reflective on how they thought of the

war or how they did not think much of it at all. Many describe feeling removed from

society, separated by an experience which may not have been bad but certainly is not

relatable to your wife who works in a hair salon or your best friend who struggles to get

through a hangover and make it to economics class.171 This feeling of isolation, other

than being a symptom of depression and post-traumatic stress, is a common feeling

exhibited by veterans of World War II and Vietnam and probably every war that has

occurred from the time one man killed another.

As veterans across decades of warfare on a plethora of terrains have described

their experiences, it would make sense to find wildly differing stories from war to war if

not year to year. That is true for many aspects of the war but there is a shocking number

of similarities. Just as Dr. Christopher Hamner argues in his book Enduring Battle, as

171 Kelton Fell, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 82

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warfare changes, so too does the experience, there are some important commonalities

across my three selected wars that I have chosen to focus on here.

Following the actual military experience, a veteran of any of America’s past three

large wars can sympathize about coming back to a world that was not ready for them.

Even the veteran-saturated society of the 1940’s is described as not having a clue what

combat veterans endured as many wounded fighters tried their best to get back to their

old units after spending some time as a civilian. Wounded veterans are described as being

consumed with “a feeling of alienation from everyone but their old comrades.”172 This

feeling of isolation again comes from the “absurd.”

Upon returning home or just being reintroduced to a bit of stateside society,

veterans often describe a feeling of being lost. Life has moved on without them and they

are left to play catch-up in a world that often has a different understanding of their

experiences. Jay described the culture shock of the transition from soldier to civilian as

being focused on lack of a team or tribe as Sebastian Junger would put it.173 “There’s no

structure,” Jay remarks about the civilian world, “it’s all about ‘what can you do for me?’

and what can I get out of something?” Speaking about his perception of isolation in

civilian society, Afghanistan war veteran Daniel Hernandez asks “who is there to relate to

me? How can I relate my problems to theirs or theirs to mine? You know, their bad day is

they didn’t get to go get a coffee before class. My bad day is I had a nightmare that I was

on fire and I stayed up until four o’clock. You know, who am I going to talk to about

that?”174

172 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 266. 173 Junger, Tribe, xxi. 174 Daniel Hernandez, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 83

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War correspondent Sebastian Junger reflects on these feelings of isolation as

potentially stemming from a society that as a whole is resilient. Arguing that resiliency in

a “social resilience is an even better predictor of trauma recovery than the level of

resilience of the person himself” a veteran returning to our low-resilience American

society cannot receive help from the community.175 In World War II news crews funded

by the American military sent home reels of positive footage of liberated cities and sandy

beaches. Having left America for the Pacific years before, Bob Leckie accurately

categorized what it was the American public would be seeing about his war. At a Navy

hospital on the island of Banika, Leckie contrasts the paradise to the hell he had fought

through. “There was glamour for you.” he says regarding Banika, “This was war in the

Pacific, this is what America would hear.”176 The war was decidedly shown as a victory

campaign and the true action was mostly kept out of the public’s eye. Vietnam was just

the opposite as much of the news coverage was pessimistic in nature whether it be about

the casualties sustained or the soldiers’ actions in-country.177 In the War on Terror people

back home were constantly told how dangerous Iraq was and what were fed a consistent

stream of news hour appropriate combat footage. All three of these methods of media

portrayal, while differing on levels of positivity, consistently serve to misinform the

public. Therefore, when a veteran returns home, it is an undoubtedly laborious task to

correct all the misinformation that a news channel might have presented.

As the previous chapter showed through the evidence of simple view counts and

channel subscriptions, when today’s public has access to see what the War on Terror may

175Sebastian Junger, Tribe, 102-103. 176 Leckie, Helmet for My Pillow, 260 177Ron Milam, Not A Gentleman’s War, (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2009), 6. 84

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truly require of the nation’s sons (and now daughters) most decide to look away. The

Greatest Generation collectively had the same reaction when presented with the motion

picture The Best Years of Our Lives. One can find many reruns of movies like The Flying

Leathernecks or The Dirty Dozen on cable channels and especially run during marathons

on Memorial Day or Veteran’s Day.178 While sweeping the Academy Awards and having

a successful box office run, The Best Years of Our Lives, depicting the grim outlook for

those wounded in the war has endured a limited legacy in American cinematic memory.

Movies about the war that have become classics enjoying widespread

commercialization depict soldiers actively fighting the war, experiencing triumph, and

ultimately victory. Through the speech of their collective dollar, the public decided to

push aside the millions of wounded veterans in their midst and make space for stories of

the River Kwai and Iwo Jima. Action undoubtedly draws more than somber reflection

and triumph attracts a larger crowd than melancholy. These are simple principles that I

can accept, but there endures a problem when the only exposure the public gets is to the

idea of total victory with limited consequence.

World War II’s war movies soon became Vietnam’s war movies. The most

famous Vietnam war veteran of film, John Rambo, spent his whole first movie dealing

with the effects of post-traumatic stress in a small Oregon town that did not want him

there.179 Over time the message of Rambo shifted away from “returning from war doesn’t

mean the war is over for you” to “look at this building blow up.” Again, the message

presented by the media, Hollywood in this case, may have originally been positive and

178 Eugene Sledge has a realization that most of 1940’s America entertained a fanciful notion of the Second World War when a young woman working with veterans was unaware of the requirements of being a marine mortarman. Sledge, China Marine, 135. 179 Walker, Vietnam Veteran Films, 62. 85

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meant to show at least some granule of reflection about that day’s society. As the public

voted with their money the message shifted from a man haunted by his violent past to

someone whose biceps are made out of bullets.

When movies come out like The Sands of Iwo Jima, with John Wayne playing a

rough Marine sergeant leading the charge into battle, or any of the Rambo movies after

First Blood and serve as the main exposure to combat that the public has, a veteran

immediately feels more secluded. It is not enough that a film portrayed their life-altering

experience incorrectly, it is because everyone who saw that film may now incorrectly

assume they know what the men went through when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

This seclusion has led to the creation of Veterans of Foreign Wars outposts where those

who fought or deployed throughout the decades can congregate and meet those with

similar life experiences. As veterans from World War II to Iraq describe themselves as

not quite being able to truly connect or be understood by non-military personnel, the need

to form a community has persisted. Matt believes this action-packed idea of the military

does harm future soldiers as “it gives an unrealistic idea of what they’re signing up for if

they decide to join the military.”180

The most somber reality to persist across the past seven decades is the “now

what?” question that seems to haunt many combat veterans once their war has ended. For

some veterans leaving the military even though their contract has ended seems akin to

quitting or giving up. An infantryman who served two tours in Afghanistan, Fernando

Sanchez, recalls his own guilt after fulfilling his enlistment and states:

That was definitely a huge dilemma for me when I was transitioning out of active duty was I had never given up on anything in

180 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 86

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my life and at that time I kinda felt like I was giving up on myself by getting out.” I had to twist to it to convince myself that I’m not giving up I’m giving myself a different and better opportunity to where there was that little brief period where I was like ‘f*ck, I’m actually giving up on something.’181

Fernando struggled with this idea getting out of the military right up until the day

he left. Facebook groups affected his outlook in a positive manner, giving him a new

perspective as many former military members already populated groups that current

military members follow. Eventually deciding that it was the best step for him in life,

Fernando left active duty in pursuit of a college degree. With the possibility of serving a

full twenty years and retiring from the military, it is likely that many military members

feel as though they are quitting on something while still fulfilling every obligation for

which they signed up. The military instills a never-quit attitude in service-members that

can adversely affect them mentally when the time comes for them to decide between

leaving or continuing in an occupation they may no longer have a passion for.

It is not a secret that every country plays up a patriotic duty to join the military

and serve your nation. America just happens to be one of the best at it. Our military

propaganda machine has many young men seeing any type of military service as truly the

highest achievement they can possibly have. It has now become ingrained in our culture

as a positive thing that we often simply call it “the service.” Many interviewees and

writers describe their transition out of the military as a moment of fluctuation. As I have

already shown, many do not feel that they fit in or identify with civilians anymore. Jay

jokingly remarks how “I still don’t know what I wanna do with my life.”182 This point of

181 Fernando Sanchez, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 182 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 87

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view can be seen all across the nation as many veterans achieve one of their lifelong

goals (serving in the military) by the age of eighteen. One of the most frequent responses

to “why did you join the military” or any other similarly worded question is “it’s just

something I wanted to do since I was young”.183 I believe it is actually this high emphasis

on “military veteran” being one of the most prestigious titles one can hold that causes

such a problem as veterans move on to the other sixty years of their life.

The miniseries Band of Brothers came to mind during Matt’s interview as he

philosophized:

They made ten hours of TV about one year of the lives of these guys. That was the show they decided to make and that was what they decided was most important. And at the end of this ten hour series they give us five minutes dedicated to the entire rest of their lives. Not five minutes a piece, about five minutes total to try and capture the significance of the rest of their life. That sums up the importance that a lot of people place on being in the military. Whatever comes next is just a footnote.184

If a young man is told that being a soldier is the absolute best thing he can do for

his country (nevermind the fact that he is not told what job as a soldier is respectable) and

he achieves this “lifetime goal” by the age of eighteen, where else does he have to go?

This lack of foresight resulting in general aimlessness is a common trait experienced by

many War on Terror veterans leaving the all-volunteer forces. The equivalent for WWII

and Vietnam is slightly different. In those wars when a draft was in place or the war

erupted suddenly, many placed their lives on hold in order to go serve. Whether because

they were drafted or because of the pressure of an impending draft notice taking away

183 Jordan Uptain, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 184 Matt Bennett, Oral history #4, Interview by author, 2018. 88

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their options many young men decided to stall their life plans which did not include

military service in favor of enlistment. When they returned after years removed from

mainstream society, many found it tough to go back to the way things were. The Vietnam

veteran serves as an outlier in the case of homecoming in which modern veterans and

WWII veterans returned to a welcoming veteran community. To only add to their feeling

of aimlessness, many Vietnam vets were turned away from what many may think as the

last refuge available for a veteran, the VFW.185

In the twenty-first century, many infantry veterans follow this path of achieving a

life goal without having a plan for getting back into the real world. “I had a bunch of

skills that were not needed,” Tim remembers when asked about his own separation from

the military.186 “What’s waiting for the infantryman when he gets out?” Tim asks.

“[Veterans] are tossed out into the real world, into capitalist hell, and they are not only

faced with that but with the difficulties of transitioning into a life where they don’t have

people that will lay down their life for them.” Tim’s words recall Junger’s proposition

regarding the necessity of adding value and contributing to a group.187 “You don’t have

to go to another country to experience a cultural shift or change. When you leave the

military you’re experiencing a change- a drop-off in [resources and community] that are

not there to most people.” Jay gives similar testimony that “it’s hard to translate what you

do in the infantry to the civilian world.” Just as Marine mortarman and WWII veteran

Eugene Sledge described the rough transition back to civilian life,188 Jay describes the

same feeling seven decades later. “When you leave [the army] you lose everything,” Jay

185Kyle Longley, Grunts, (Armonk: M.E. Sharpe, 2008), 162. 186 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 187 Junger, Tribe, 80. 188 Sledge, China Marine, 129. 89

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states matter-of-factly. Believing himself to not be integrated back into society at all he

goes on to state that “you spend four, six, twenty years in a military bubble of

structure...where every single person knows their place, knows their role, and [their

actions are] for the betterment of everyone else. You go from that to another culture

that’s all about ‘me’. It’s mind blowing.”189

Facing down the modern world for likely the first time in their adult lives, many

newly separated veterans face a simple struggle of “not being taken care of. Not having

most things in life, if not done for you, supervised for you.”190 The military having taken

what was mostly teenagers, trained young Americans to depend on the army to meet their

needs. Given shelter, healthcare, food, and income veterans who hadn’t been a part of the

workforce for long, if at all, before enlisting now find themselves with a whole new set of

challenges.

Offering another similarity, Iraq war veteran Colby Buzzell writes: “After

carrying around a 27.6-pound M240 Bravo machine gun for a year in Iraq hunting down

noncompliant forces, how the hell can I go back to data entry?...Or any normal job for

that matter?” You can turn a cucumber into a pickle but you can’t turn a pickle back into

a cucumber. Buzzell writes how if nothing he tries to do in his post-military life works

out “I guess now I can write the word ‘Veteran’ after the word ‘Homeless’ on my

cardboard sign.”191

Each of these three wars has posed a significant challenge to America

domestically. At the close of World War II, the nation saw massive influx of veterans

189 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 190 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 191 Buzzell, My War, 353-354. 90

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returning home at roughly the same time as many signed up to serve the duration of the

war plus six months. In Vietnam, the return home was completely different. Coming back

often as individuals rather than as an entire army or division as seen in World War II or

as a battalion as seen in the War on Terror. One veteran of Vietnam describes how so

many of them were “brought back into this country and turned loose back into society”

with very little support system.192

No matter if a veteran served in WWII, Vietnam, Iraq, or Afghanistan, they could

all likely personally identify with the feeling of isolation and loneliness one would feel

being released back into the civilian world. Military service in a combat arms occupation

especially serving in direct combat is an experience of mostly discomfort and sacrifice. If

it were possible to take an American man fighting in the islands of the Pacific, one from

the Mekong Delta, and one from the Shah-i-Kot Valley they would all be brothers.

Separated by over seventy years and thousands of miles each of them understands the

grim humor stemming from enduring a life without luxuries or perhaps competent

leadership.193 Each man will also understand the struggle of coming home to a country

that would prefer he did not have any persisting problems caused by the war, not for his

sake, but for the sake of society’s collective conscience. Enduring similar experience is

what bonds veterans across any span of time.

192 Calkins and Verrone, Voices from Vietnam, 246. 193 Incompetent leadership and a lack of basic warfighting equipment plagued Marines specifically in the Pacfic and again during the Iraq invasion. Sledge, With the Old Breed, 198. Fick, One Bullet Away, 354. 91

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Did you kill anyone?

This prying question was one which each interviewed veteran confirmed having

been asked at least once. Typically, out of desire for an interesting story and not to gauge

a veteran’s mental health, an oblivious civilian may ask one of the most hated questions

of all time. Jay opened up about his experience with and contempt for the question:

There’s questions that you’ll answer 100% honestly, and then there’s questions where you’ll do a veiled answer like [my answer] is ‘I’ve been in [the army] for a very long time, I’ve done my job’ and I’ll leave it at that. And then there’s answers with your brothers and guys who’ve been there and done that, who know what you’ve been through and you can give a hard number [of enemy killed] and not be judged. Not become a social pariah.194

Tim had his own interesting take on the played out question by noticing that

“females will always ask ‘have you ever been injured or shot?’, and males will ask ‘have

you ever killed someone’?”195 The feeling of entitlement demonstrated by many civilians

who ask this question not only serves as proof of their lack of knowledge regarding the

military, especially when they ask someone just home from boot camp if they have ever

killed anyone. A veteran of the Vietnam war describes a similar circumstance where, in

this case, a girl’s first words to him were “did you kill anybody?” upon learning that he

was just home from the war.196

194 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 195 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 196 Calkins and Verrone, Voices from Vietnam, 256. 92

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What makes War on Terror vets different?

The digital world is the sun around which the solar system of the modern veteran

community revolves. What makes this century so different is that now there is a medium

through which veterans from all across the United States can connect with one another in

order to talk, share pictures, stories, struggles, triumphs, and as we have seen before

usually a video of their own exploits in a combat zone. The internet and especially social

media in the form of Facebook veterans’ groups has been passed a baton formerly held

by the Veterans of Foreign Wars clubs and American Legion posts.

With World War II seeing a large influx of VFW admissions the wars in

Afghanistan and Iraq have seen a similar number rise in online social media platforms

like Facebook groups.197 Groups on the internet connect thousands of War on Terror vets

to each other in ways that mirror the desired community of WWII and Vietnam veterans.

Facebook groups like Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Says, Pop Smoke, Terminal

Lance, Grunt Style, Mat Best, US Army WTF Moments, and Task & Purpose fill the role

of an online veteran community.198 Mostly through posting memes or military-related

news, these pages serve as a means to disseminate veteran-themed humor largely aimed

at shared experiences from the War on Terror. In these online communities vets are free

to take part in their darker, less politically correct type of humor without worrying about

how they may be perceived. While someone civilians “kinda look at vets like we’re

197 All sources regarding Facebook groups and online communities will come from web articles or oral histories and I could find no published works available that discuss this specific trend. 198 The effect of online veteran’s groups was discussed in his interview by Tim Vansyckle. Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 93

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aliens” for what Jay describes as an image that “we’re all unstable”, online groups offer a

place of understanding and outreach for those who need it.199

While combat veterans of all generations can unite around the shared hardships of

their military experiences and the return home, especially the “baby-killer” mantra

thrown at some returning Vietnam veterans,200 today’s War on Terror veterans

consistently demonstrate a distinct evolution of that demographic. This next section

explores what traits make up a War on Terror veteran using largely veterans’ own words.

This group is defined by their community. Just as combat veterans’ shared traits were

relegated to shared experience, the community that fought in Afghanistan and Iraq is

centered specifically around their people and time.

Other than simply being in a war at the same time, Jay describes using or hating

the same equipment, forcing down awful MREs,201 training for the same types of

missions, and being in or near the same areas of operation.202 Tim recalled similar

experiences and said he would bond with someone over “how sh*tty being in your theater

is. Whatever your MOS was, whatever you were doing, it was sh*tty in some way.”203

Millennials are now the generation that has fought America’s longest wars. As

such much of what is depicted has a very Millennial slant centered around memes,

internet videos, video games, and any other cultural trends spread online. The war from

the perspective of an American male serving in the infantry of either the army or Marine

Corps is a war comprised of waiting, drinking energy drinks, waiting, watching pirated

199 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 200 Longley, Grunts, 156. 201 Meals-Ready-to-Eat, food supplied to soldiers in the field that they can eat without preparation. Usually devoid of taste but chock full of calories and salt. 202 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 203 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 94

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movies, maybe getting to shoot at some hostile forces, and waiting some more. Having

gone on for close to three collective decades, veterans of the War on Terror account for

almost 5 million Americans.204 This may seem like a relatively small percentage (about

1.5% of the population) but for a group of people that belong to a fairly secluded

subculture, it is a substantial number.205

Raised on the pro-war nostalgia of movies starring and John

Wayne, video games like Grand Theft Auto, and music by NWA, it did not take long for

the first groups of soldiers fighting this war to be dubbed “Generation Kill”.206 Media

correspondent and Generation Kill author, Evan Wright, uses his firsthand experience

during the invasion of Iraq and contrasts it to American experience in Vietnam:

“In Vietnam is whole story is of a generation of Americans that were innocent, and they lost that innocence in jungles of Southeast Asia. And in this case these guys were raised on violent video games, movies, and a presidential sex-scandal involving President Clinton. So these guys...were pre-jaded.”207

Now I do not believe violent video games make anyone more likely to actually

commit a robbery or steal a car but games like Call of Duty are also referenced numerous

times throughout digital, textual, and oral sources.

204 As of 2011, there had been 2.3 million Americans deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. With 8 additional years it seems reasonable to calculate 5 million veterans of the War on Terror era since those who were stateside were not included in the original 2.3 million. “U.S. Veterans: By the numbers”, ABC News, Luis Martinez and Amy Bingham, Published November 11, 2011. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/us-veterans-numbers/story?id=14928136 205 Just to give an idea of the potential effect a statistically small sample of the population, an organization which has a comparable number of members would be the National Rifle Association. 206 This is obviously not the first generation of Americans to go to war nor is there a definitive link between violent video games, gangster rap, and true violence. However, the generation that went to invade Iraq was the first one that many consider having been “raised by the TV” due to the rise of single-parent or dual-income households. 207 “Generation Kill: The American Soldiers Raised on Video Games and War Movies.” YouTube video, 7:01, Posted by Journeyman Pictures, August 16, 2007. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y_5vxM8PYM 95

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When asked what he believes the future generations will think of those who

fought in the War on Terror, Matt recalls his own perceptions of past generations.

During the Vietnam era you were either a Vietnam veteran, and there’s a cultural perception of those guys, or you were a hippy. Nobody really remembers anything between those two demographics... So, I think there’s the coddled, whiny, got a trophy for nothing, living with parents until they’re 27 years old, still on insurance at 30 “millennial”. And then there’s the generation that served and that got that leg up into being productive citizens in their service. That’s Generation Kill.208

What is it like to be a GWoT veteran?

There are two singular media entities that do a great job of encapsulating current

veteran culture: Chris Kyle and Max Uriarte. Both are representative of a wider trend that

I will expand on as I explain the popularity of both. Chris Kyle was a U.S. Navy SEAL

from 2001-2009 and is credited with the most confirmed kills of any U.S. sniper to

date.209 He gained notoriety in 2012 when he authored the book American Sniper which

detailed his exploits throughout is career in Navy Special Operations and spent thirty-

seven weeks on bestselling non-fiction list.210 America had been

steadily putting out books, movies, and the occasional television shows about the War on

Terror but nothing had captured the public’s attention like a Navy SEAL sniper who was

willing to talk in detail about his exploits (and to also make up some exploits).

208 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 209 Chris Kyle, American Sniper, (New York: William Morrow and Company, 2012). 210“The New York Times Bestsellers,” The New York Times. Accessed July 6, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/2012/01/01/hardcover-nonfiction/ 96

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Appearing on Conan211 and giving an interview to Time magazine212 while

wearing a skull emblazoned on his baseball cap and sporting what veterans may

call an “operator beard”, Chris Kyle lead the way for veterans to become media figures.

In the year between the time his book was published until his murder in 2013, Kyle

served the role of representing the veteran community to the general public. His

previously mentioned interviews give the largest evidence to this argument of Kyle

reaching a wide audience in the civilian world as his TIME interview is currently the

publication’s third most viewed video of all time with 5.8 million views. Kyle’s

appearance on Conan ranks sixteenth of all time among thousands of uploaded videos

with 16 million views.

Upon his death, the legacy of Chris Kyle ushered in a new wave of veteran

popularity. Hot on the heels of the raid which saw Usama bin-Laden killed and the movie

made about the operation, Operation Neptune Spear and Zero Dark Thirty respectively,

Navy SEALs attracted a lot of media attention in the early 2010’s. Much of the country

had at least heard of Kyle and his Special Operations peers even if they did not like his

braggadocious, not-so-silent professionalism.213 With his popularity, the modern image of

the War on Terror veteran now had its template. Chris Kyle was everything people

wanted a soldier to be and everything many aspiring warriors desired to be. He was a

Hollywood hero come to life and unsurprisingly, many are described as imitating his

appearance in any way they could.

211 “American Sniper Chris Kyle Interview- Conan on TBS”, YouTube video, 4:49, Posted by Team Coco, February 12, 2012. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiVDtNjORbY 212 "Chris Kyle: American Sniper 10 Questions TIME”, YouTube video, 6:01, Posted by TIME, January 7, 2012. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ12PN81xnI 213 It has since been confirmed that several stories told over the years by Kyle and published in his book were false. Shooting looters during Hurricane Katrina and punching Jesse Ventura were the two most prolific lies. 97

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So what does the stereotypical War on Terror vet look like and why? Each of my interviewees gave an answer to this question and the answers were all consistent. Again, the interviewees came from a variety of backgrounds, serving in units all across the

United States army and going all over Iraq and Afghanistan. With this immense spread of experience, it truly is remarkable when a singular answer is given consistently for a question.

The description provided of what may identify someone as a veteran comes with a caveat that this description is not at all exclusive to combat vets like much of my other information has been. When asked what he may see that indicates someone is a veteran

Tim immediately thought of “Bumper stickers and clothing. Some subtle, some not so subtle. Some [of the visible signs] basically telling me to thank them for their service.”

The modern War on Terror veteran, whether joining the Army in 2002 or 2016, can likely be seen sporting a beard, wearing combat/tactical boots, possibly a web belt, Wiley-X or

Oakley sunglasses (probably M-Frames), lots of tattoos, and wearing a T-Shirt from any number of veteran-owned companies but most likely depicting some sort of tough-guy maxim. Any veteran from any MOS is just as likely to be seen with any number of these clothing choices but a number of people in person and on veteran forums have expressed that in their own experience the further away from combat a person was, the more likely they are to really “peacock” their veteran status.

98

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Figure 3- Kyle during his TIME interview.214

Figure 4- Kyle in a promo photo for his company, Craft International.215 Kyle opted to publicly sport a “veteran beard”, 5.11-brand hat, Wiley-X

sunglasses, and thousands of dollars’ worth of the “cool guy gear” that has become a part

of American veteran culture. While probably not the everyday attire for someone seen

wearing this outfit and obviously not a one-size-fits-all list, each of these items gives a

civilian and definitely a veteran a clue that the wearer might have been in the military.

Similar to the cut up fatigue jacket that was popular after service in the Vietnam era,

214 "Chris Kyle: American Sniper 10 Questions TIME”, YouTube video, 6:01, Posted by TIME. January 7, 2012. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ12PN81xnI 215 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. Roger Hemdon. “Chris Kyle MK-18.” Pinterest. June 2, 2018. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/801711171143416598/ 99

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many soldiers still wear their service boots and belt for whatever reason. Oakley, “the

Abercrombie and Fitch of combat,”216 gives a significant discount to all members of the

military and sometimes soldiers are issued Oakley eyewear thus accounting for that

specific brand on veterans’ faces. Military-themed tattoos have endured a long tradition

in the United States and therefore become a quick indicator that someone has served. A

beard (most likely sported by male veterans) is worn due to the requirement of a daily

shave no longer being enforced. Not only have beards become more popular in civilian

culture, I would make a small argument that the massive influx of veterans back into

mainstream society as well as the appearance of Special Operations members in movies

constantly rocking a beard has added to its popularity. Lastly is the military themed shirt.

Jay asserts that “nowadays [obvious veterans] are completely ‘Grunstyled’ out… They’ll

have GruntStyle, they’ll have patriotic sh*t on, they’ll be wearing military gear.” The

shirts described are typically purchased from RangerUp or GruntStyle, both of which are

veteran-owned companies. The brand GruntStyle was also mentioned by name by every

single person I have interviewed to date due to not only their significant online presence

but also their notoriously obnoxious shirts that are “loud” at best and abrasive at worst.

Max Uriarte, creator of the wildly popular military-themed , Terminal Lance,

describes a veteran t-shirt as one that “may or may not contain the words ‘America, f*ck,

infidel,’ or all of the above.”217 Some other mentioned accessories worn by veterans are

of a more “tactical” nature. High-dollar cargo pants from brands like 5.11 have become a

standard as well as “operator hats”- simple baseball caps in multicam and velcro patches

on either side for someone to put things like a flag, nametape, or blood markers.

216 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 217Max Uriarte, “Anatomy of a Veteran,” Terminal Lance, Published September 5, 2014. Accessed May 17, 2019. 100

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The reason the cargo pants, operator hat, Oakleys, and beard have all become so

popular is described as their centrality as a part of the “operator” image. Each of those

things are primarily worn by Special Operations while overseas and can be seen in

movies so when if a veteran were to decide to try and portray themselves in a way that a

member of the public would recognize as ‘military’, they would base it off the people or

groups who have the most exposure- Special Operations. While still in the military the

fascination with Special Operations still permeates the ranks of soldiers. “Throughout all

the changes [over the years] the one constant I’ve seen is the obsession with ‘cool guy’

gear,” Jay states.218 “You have to have the Oakley gloves with Kevlar knuckles, you have

to have P-mags...in real life, yeah, we (Special Operators) are pretty kitted out but it’s all

built on the basics and we know how to use everything.”

Each of those things was regularly worn or referenced by Chris Kyle in his public

appearances or his book and there is no mention of anything like this in any textual

sources that pre-date American Sniper. To me this indicates that Kyle’s fame and

subsequent murder pushed veteran culture into the mainstream but also raised the

public’s expectations of a veteran to even higher, unattainable level. Chris Kyle made

being a veteran fashionable and he literally became a fashion icon for veterans. All of the

things I’ve listed off are regularly worn by operators on deployment and thanks to movies

like American Sniper, Lone Survivor, Zero Dark Thirty, 12 Strong, and 13 Hours the

American public has fairly accurate image in mind of what a special operator looks like.

Veterans who have been described as “peacocking” by other vets take advantage of the

monolithic image that the public has and “dress to tell the world that they’re a veteran”.

218 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 101

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So why would someone dress as though they were ready to conduct a HAF raid219

on an ISIS captain while sitting in a booth at Chili’s? By basing not only their fashion

sense on a popularized veteran, other veterans are able to in essence latch onto Kyle and

his peers’ war record and non-verbally convey an air of toughness and authority about

combat operations or just general military prowess. Most veterans that anyone will meet

never served in combat. Tim describes himself as wanting to be as far away from the

military as possible while he longs for a return to normalcy if that can ever be attained

again. The veterans interviewed all describe wanting to blend in with society if possible

and just be left alone. They have nothing to prove to anyone and have no need to show

off. There are some observed exceptions when it comes to this rule and it usually applies

to people under the age of thirty. Not a hard and fast rule, but typically someone under

this age is still young enough to remember being out of the military. “The army has not

become their identity” as one soldier put it.220 Once that milestone is passed, then all bets

are off and it becomes a toss-up whether or not the person sporting an obvious “veteran

look” was in combat or not.

The best indication that my research gave me was that 99% of the time, veterans

who had “been there and done that” so to speak, were not the ones actively campaigning

for public support through visual displays of their service. These veterans were also very

sympathetic towards a civilian not wanting to join the military for whatever reason. “I

think you look like a jackass if you rub your service in somebody’s face,” Tim asserts, “I

219 A HAF raid, Helicopter Assault Force, is a type of mission primarily undertaken by Special Operations for its mobility and infil/exfil speed. 220 Russ Aston, Oral history #4, Interview by author, 2018. 102

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would never say someone is less of a person because they aren’t willing to let themselves

be slaughtered.” Further supporting this thought, Tim stated his belief that:

No one should have to go to the military and risk their life in order to get a fair shake. People will say ‘back in my day we went to the military to pay for college’. Really? So everyone is expected to go and f*ck themselves up through some nightmarish sh*t [to pay for college]? While everyone else is over here [in America} who can afford it and they’re almost guaranteed a job because they’re wealthy and they come from a wealthy family. But everyone else can go to the Thunderdome.221

When it comes to those who make their service blatantly apparent and are eager to

talk about their supposed exploits in combat, Jay “full of sh*t 99.99% of the time.”222

Jay, Matt, Tim, and every other combat veteran interviewed mentioned encountering

veterans in public thriving of the lack of knowledge regarding their service. “They’re the

ones that give us a bad name,” Jay declares. “They’re the ones that try to be like ‘oh I

was Johnny Rambo and I was writing finance checks left and right and I got a papercut.’

Get the f*ck outta here.” Those types of veterans are often called out and derided by

those who know better as they serve as the primary image the public associates with a

veteran due to the constant presentation of their status.223

Dysfunctional Veterans

The overt style of modern veterans has become a negative thing in the minds of

many veterans who simply want to be a part of society again. “We’re certainly not the

quiet professionals that the [WWII or Vietnam] generation was,” Tim states. The

problems most veterans collectively see with the image of a modern veteran is that small

221 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 222 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 223 Matt Bennett, Oral history #5, Interview by author, 2018. 103

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groups of veterans make themselves about as subtle as opening a bag of chips at a

funeral. Described as being loud, brash, and all around intolerant these visible veterans

make themselves known as such and give a bad name to the entire community. Calling

themselves “dysfunctional veterans” this cancerous subculture inside a subculture

typically give themselves the moniker as a way of stating that they do not fit in with

mainstream society, nor do they want to.224

Not always meaning the same thing to each person, Jay calls himself a

dysfunctional veteran because to him it is a term given by the civilian world and “it

means somebody that is uninformed on [veteran] culture.”225 To Jay, being a

dysfunctional veteran means not sharing the concerns, humor, or sensitivity of most

others and keeping to himself while trying to cope with the effects of post-traumatic

stress. At the same time he makes an effort to not come across as the stereotype of a

dysfunctional veteran because “I care what people think about the military and the stigma

attached to it. The [opinions and ideas] that they’re gonna put onto the military is based

off what I do, or what I say, or how I react.” Reminiscent of Vietnam veterans troubled

by their experience and finding their way in society again,226 this type of Dysfunctional

Veteran is truly so because of the effects of combat and not because they enjoy the

attention.

While Jay interprets the ‘dysfunctional’ descriptor literally, Matt describes those

he deems ‘dysfunctional veterans’ as people who want to “attribute their own

224 In this context, the negative image of a dysfunctional veteran is defined as a veteran who is still capable of being a part of mainstream society but has instead decided that they like the attention that pretending to be an affected soldier gets them. 225 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 226 Longley, Grunts, 177. 104

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incompetence to the fact that they’re a veteran.”227 In Matt’s case and Tim’s case, the

image of a Dysfunctional Veteran that comes to their minds is one who enjoys portraying

the image of a traumatized soldier because a bystander may falsely interpret their uncouth

behavior as the result of a long history of combat and heroics. Typically applied to those

who cannot get or hold a job lead a productive life without the handholding provided by

the military, Matt’s outlook is far less sympathetic but also centers around aspects of

being a good citizen rather than how well someone fits into mainstream society. Having

also dealt with many people who call themselves ‘dysfunctional veterans’, Tim describes

them as people who “have driven everyone off and the only thing [they] have left is that

[they were] a veteran. It’s [their] status symbol.” Truly affected by his experience in war,

Jay is different than the dysfunctional veterans described by Tim and Matt who are

mostly seeking attention and, in most cases, never saw combat.

To a proper ‘dysfunctional veteran’ fitting in with society may mean denying the

truths about the world that they have observed through multiple tours across the Middle

East. It may mean denying the trials endured that make his life experience different than

someone else his age who has had a fairly mundane life. Just as the most visible veterans

are mostly POGs seen as trying to gain some respect by banking on the general public’s

lack of knowledge, self-titled and romanticized “dysfunctional veterans” are typically not

seen as acting the way they do because of some deep-seated mental trauma. Instead most

veterans see the stereotypical Dysfunctional Veterans’ actions as another way of

capitalizing on public ignorance. Any halfway conscious person over the age of eighteen

knows that war can cause post-traumatic stress and many people have seen movies like

227 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 105

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First Blood where a grizzled veteran anguishes over the fact that society does not

understand them anymore. In other words, the self-aggrandizing “dysfunctional veteran”

knows that society as whole respects war veterans. Therefore, they decide to adopt

stereotypes almost exclusively associated with only war veterans like post-traumatic

stress. Even though a condition like post-traumatic stress can be received through any

number of sources the veteran may couple their actions with military apparel or phrases

to complete their act. Then without explicitly claiming to have withstood adversity on the

field of battle the dysfunctional veteran can glean some respect from passersby too shy or

lacking in knowledge to press the subject.

Jay uses the term “barroom valor” to describe dysfunctional veterans that cash in

on the public’s lack of knowledge and the respect that soldiers suffering from post-

traumatic stress receive.228 Using this public image to their advantage, many a self-titled

Dysfunctional Veteran talks in specific ways to give off an aura of mystery. In reality,

these types of loud and brusque men really seem to be an adult equivalent of an angsty

teenager complaining because their parents “just don’t understand them.” Often

referencing their “time overseas” or when asked for details saying “that’s classified” or “I

don’t wanna talk about it”, these veterans do almost everything short of making up a full

lie in order to keep up the facade they love- that of the damaged war hero.

This may seem like simply picking apart a small group of people but for a group

that supposedly does not like to talk about what they went through, “Dysfunctional Vets”

sure love to talk about it. Telling these lies and giving off this image to so much of the

general public can create a disproportionate idea of what a combat veteran is, especially

228 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019 106

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when that person is not a combat veteran at all. Theorized to simply be self-conscious

about their lack of direct combat, Dysfunctional Veterans overcompensate by dodging

around direct inquiry. As society ignorantly believes that a soldier sees combat and a

soldier deployed to a combat zone definitely sees combat, returning veterans do not want

to disappoint their friends or family or a curious bar patron by admitting to having been

in Baghdad but stuck on a base repairing the AC units in MaxxPros. So what do they do?

They say they would rather not talk about it or they say they are not allowed to talk about

it. Just a little white lie that seems to get them a lot of respect from whomever hears it

because surely such a response would indicate they endured tremendous amounts of

conflict- they MUST be a hero. And so the myth spreads, the bravado builds, and true

combat veterans describe their own encounters with public as being wildly misinformed

thanks to Dysfunctional Veterans who decided to spin a tale.229

When asked about dysfunctional veterans another common answer came back as

many combat vets had encountered this group. Eager to connect to other veterans many

combat vets will still start a conversation with the “visible veteran” and ask about their

service.230 In almost all the reported situations the person served about as far away from

the front lines as you could possibly be or if they were “in combat” it is because some

insurgents dropped mortars on their base and they were half a mile away but able to

pencil-whip themselves a Combat Action Badge.231 Suffice it to say, the overall opinion

of the visible and dysfunctional veteran is low among combat vets.

229 Russ Aston, Oral history #4, Interview by author, 2018. Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. Kelton Fell, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 230 Jordan Uptain, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 231 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 107

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The funny and positive veterans

“Our sense of humor is so far left field that normal civilians [don’t get it]. You

know we can sit here and talk about dead babies all day long, civilians not so much.

We’re sorta desensitized on social bounds so that we don’t care. If I find this [joke]

funny, I’m going to tell this f*cking joke, I don’t care where I am.”232

Now comes the more lighthearted side of veteran culture. Just as World War II

and Vietnam veterans dealt with the frustrating, boring, and inhumane conditions of their

service by developing an absurd sense of humor, so too have War on Terror veterans. Just

as Chris Kyle would be representative of veterans who lord their status over society and

present themselves in a way that says to the world “you’re welcome for my service”,233

there are veterans who take none of their harsh treatment seriously and let it become

water on a duck’s back.

Taking aim at the ridiculous and downright abnormal life of the military is

Maximilian Uriarte, a former marine assaultman who started the webcomic Terminal

Lance.234 Taking its namesake from the term given to Marines who have no hope of

picking up Corporal and becoming Non-Commissioned Officers before their enlistment

ends, Uriarte pokes fun at the daily lives of those who have come to accept the military as

the completely ridiculous institution that so many veterans have. Uriarte started his comic

in 2010 while still in the Corps and focuses a lot of his attention on the infantry as that

was his home for four years. He has been able to identify with other common aspects of

232 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 233 Jordan Uptain, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 234 Max Uriarte, “About Terminal Lance,” Terminal Lance, Accessed May 17, 2019. https://terminallance.com/about/ 108

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modern veteran culture which are much less sinister than an overall degradation of the

opinion of veterans.

Themes like unending boredom reminiscent of scenes described in writings from

World War II,235 briefings urging you not to kill yourself, excessive administrative tasks,

briefings urging you not kill your spouse and then yourself, blatant physical abuse,

briefings urging you not to kill your child, then your spouse, and then yourself, and of

course a small feeling of isolation when back out in the civilian world all make up the

typical experience of an infantryman. This comic did not get popular because of its

marketing or funding but because it speaks to themes that many grunts and veterans in

general can identify with. Just like Chris Kyle was able to bring out the wannabe “cool-

guy” side in many veterans who took things too seriously, Max Uriarte serves as my

representative for the veterans who refuse to take anything seriously.

Wars provide individuals with highly individual experiences. No one person’s

experience is the same and therefore whenever a reaction, thought, or belief shows itself

across such a vast spectrum of experiences one should take note. World War II veterans,

Vietnam veterans, and War on Terror veterans, no matter how proud of their service they

are, can all agree on one thing in particular: the military kinda sucks. Sometimes it comes

all at once. Sometimes it is just one hurdle after another. What bonds people faster than

anything is not only a mutual experience but a mutual hatred for the same thing.

An example of the fairly fatalistic humor engulfing the military is the term “green

weenie”. This phrase was coined decades ago for a reason because no matter what

235Max Uriarte, “Terminal Lance #344- ‘Bored,’” Terminal Lance, Published September 16, 2014. Accessed May 19, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2014/09/16/terminal-lance-344-bored/ 109

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eventually the military (the ‘green’) screws you. Whether the problem to be solved is a

foolhardy officer that believes they will charge the Japanese as soon as one of their men

gets hit236 or lieutenants forcing people to randomly wear glow-in-the-dark belts,237

officers are a constant source of complaints coming from the lower-enlisted. The ability

to find humor is constantly disparaging situations is a time-honored veteran tradition.

A common nickname for being in the infantry, the field, or just an unpleasant

military experience in general is ‘the suck’. Emblazoned on a GruntStyle t-shirt is the oft-

quoted phrase “embrace the suck”, meaning to embrace your discomfort and learn to live

with it. Military humor is often derived from the pain or unpleasant experiences the

military life is full of. A constant joke is how the military can take “the most awesome

thing you can possibly think of, and the powers that be find some way to make it a

dragging, miserable experience.”238 Being in a state of constant of constant discomfort is

one that invariably leads to complaining and in the infantry complaining is often the only

way to get some semblance of relief as you know your fellow soldier is suffering through

everything right with you.239 Furthermore it is constantly mentioned by World War II

veterans Eugene Sledge and Bob Leckie as well as war-correspondent, Evan Wright, and

almost all of my interviewees how complaining serves a therapeutic purpose since

complaining about a particular higher-up could get one into serious trouble. Complaints

236 Sledge, With the Old Breed, 217. 237Max Uriarte, “The Many Uses of a Glow Belt,” Terminal Lance, Published January 29,2010. Accessed May 19, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2010/01/29/terminal-lance-8-the-many-uses-of-a-glow-belt/ 238 Max Uriarte, “The Suck,” Terminal Lance, Published July 26, 2016. Accessed May 19, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2016/07/26/terminal-lance-431-the-suck/ 239 Max Uriarte, “Avengers Assemble,” Terminal Lance, Published June 17, 2014. Accessed May 19, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2014/06/17/terminal-lance-328-avengers-assemble/ 110

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are often environment related and carry thinly veiled dark tone of hopelessness- embrace

the suck.

This grim outlook is reflected as accounts describe people breaking into laughing

fits when on a cold night in a fighting position it begins to rain because “why wouldn’t it

get any worse right now?” or highly-skilled special operators being forced to keep a

clean-shaven appearance while invading a country with limited supplies. Accepting a

situation as futile and finding an odd sense of joy in the pain is a common experience

likely known to all combat arms personnel perhaps over the centuries. Truly the most

bonding commonality between veterans through the ages is enduring something truly

absurd in the normal world and taking it all in stride as best you can in that situation.

Through this humor, veterans can bond online over what they can see in hindsight

as unusual times but something that still unites them all. When it comes to feelings of

isolation, the topic is not usually seen as a detrimental feature of post-military life but

rather just another part of life. In many interviews, the idea has been floated that there are

many veterans who not only feel entitled to everyone’s thanks when they exit the service,

but they feel that they have done their good deed for life. If Dysfunctional Veterans are

the “con” in what the future may hold for veterans, then this humorous side of things is

absolutely the “pro”. Providing a more motivating and fun atmosphere, veteran groups

like Terminal Lance have started to push the idea that just because you completed your

service does not mean that your life is over. The overall theme of Uriarte’s New York

Times bestselling graphic novel, The White Donkey, the idea of finding a purpose

beyond the military reaches out to many veterans.240

240 Maximilian Uriarte, The White Donkey, (New York: Little, Brown, and Company, 2016). 111

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Pictured below in Figures 3.3, 3.4, 3.5, 3.6, and 3.7 are some examples of

Terminal Lance’s style of veteran-based humor:

241

Figure 5- “Post-POTUS” by Max Uriarte

242

Figure 6- “Offended II” by Max Uriarte

241Max Uriarte, “Post-POTUS,” Terminal Lance, Published September 30, 2016 https://terminallance.com/2016/09/30/terminal-lance-post-potus/ 242 Max Uriarte, “Offended II,” Terminal Lance, Published June 5, 2015 https://terminallance.com/2015/06/05/terminal-lance-offended-ii/ 112

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243

Figure 7- “Hat’s Off” by Max Uriarte

244

Figure 8- “Breaking News” by Max Uriarte

243 Max Uriarte, “Hat’s off,” Terminal Lance, Published November 29, 2016. Accessed May 22, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2016/11/29/terminal-lance-hats-off/ 244 Max Uriarte, “Breaking News,” Terminal Lance, Published January 23, 2012. Accessed May 22, 2019 https://terminallance.com/2012/01/23/terminal-lance-174-breaking-news/ 113

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245

Figure 9- “Anatomy of a Veteran” by Max Uriarte That final sentiment is one that is expressed, not in so many words, in the more

positive corners of online veterans’ communities- hopefulness. Just as some describe

GruntStyle as being provocative or uncouth, many of the interviewed combat veterans

own some of their merchandise while recognizing the ridiculousness of it. Supporting

veteran-owned business ventures like GruntStyle or Black Rifle Coffee Company,

encouraging other veterans as they try to make their lives better, and a new openness

towards veteran mental health are all uplifting new trends in the veteran community that

may successfully counteract much of the damage Dysfunctional Veterans inflicted upon

the image of the War on Terror veteran.

A video-based example the Terminal Lance style humor is seen with the now

disbanded YouTube channel, “Terminal Boots.” Combining the common Marine phrases

‘Terminal Lance’ and a ‘boot’ (one who has yet to become an experienced Marine), this

245Max Uriarte, “Anatomy of a Veteran,” Terminal Lance, Published September 5, 2014. Accessed May 22, 2019. https://terminallance.com/2014/09/05/terminal-lance-343-anatomy-of-a-veteran/ 114

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channel would satirize everyday life in the Corps by poking fun at the way promotions

are given,246 life aboard a ship for an infantry Marine,247 or the hazing that takes place in

the infantry.248

Another, more recent, veteran-focused channel is VET Tv. Explicitly stated by its

creator Donny O’Malley to be geared specifically towards War on Terror veterans, this

channel and the proprietary website that accompanies it, features raunchy videos that

make fun of controversial issues such as transgenders in the military,249 veteran

suicide,250 and the killing of civilians overseas.251 Made to be offensive and over the line

for most (including many military members) O’Malley states that “despite what civilians

and Hollywood wants you to believe, post-9/11 veterans are not always respectful,

honorable, not professional.”252 Not only does O’Malley target post-9/11 vets as his

audience focusing on the minutiae of everyday military life, he focuses on the life of the

infantry. Trend-setters in the world of veteran comedy, whether webcomics, short

YouTube videos, or a fully funded subscriber-based website, consistently reach out to

infantry veterans. I argue that this is because not only are the content-creators infantry

veterans but the infantry or combat as arms a whole serves as such an untapped market

246 “The Counseling”, YouTube video, 6:27, Terminal Boots, Published September 10, 2015. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rACZBxzT0U8 247“Ship Life”, YouTube video, 5:50, Terminal Boots, Published May 4, 2015. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9UBOGu6GQY 248 “Field Day: The Dichotomy”, YouTube video, 2:29, Terminal Boots, Published March 4, 2016. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C4knAkIGz4&t=8s 249 “Transgender Drill Instructor- Kill, Die, Laugh Episode 2 [half-o-sode]”, YouTube video, 13:57, VET Tv, Published August 31, 2017. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwIypE-QWAk 250 “Prevent Suicide, or don’t”, YouTube video, 1:00, VET Tv, Published March 10, 2017. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJvKqVWehQU 251 “Hearts and Minds- A Grunt’s Life Episode 2 [half-o-sode]”, YouTube video, 9:22, VET Tv, Published September 28, 2017. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y32VIWhJmw 252 “Inside Veteran TV’s Dark and Controversial Humor”, YouTube video, 29:57, VICE News, Published June 12, 2018. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTrNxi3Uclw 115

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 that no other type of media is able to replicate the specific brand of humor infantrymen grew to love while enlisted.

Seeking help after the military

While the first chapter discusses the ways in which mental health of soldiers may be neglected while still in the military, it is equally important to note the change in mental health discussion for separated personnel. Facebook again provides a means to observe this already-developed culture and within this culture veterans actively look out for one another, in a way simulating the way they would be supervised in the military. In this age of increasing veteran suicides, it is fairly regular for any number of military pages to issue a “call-out” to people in certain cities and ask them to check on veterans who have not contacted their families in a while, to sit and talk with them, and in many cases the administrators of the pages often offer their own time to talk to veterans who may be contemplating suicide. While this occurrence is also an indictment of the abhorrent conditions of Veterans Administration hospitals as well as current military mental health screenings, it serves as evidence of a tight-knit community of veterans existing within America and accepting the truth that there is something they have collectively been through that bonds them all.

In order to prevent many veterans from becoming truly dysfunctional in the sense that they get into trouble with the law or end up taking their own life, many veteran groups online and in-person (VFW’s, support groups) will regularly talk about such issues. Mostly in response to the lack of care provided by the government, many veterans have resorted for trying to care for one another. When it comes to seeking medical treatment over mental treatment “you’re always handled like you’re troubled, or you’re 116

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broken. And they’ll try and just hand you pills and it’s like, no, could you maybe just

legalize marijuana or something so people can stop drinking?” Tim recounts the apathetic

ways in which VA workers try to treat most conditions which is to give the service-

member lots of medication to make them unable to feel their symptoms.253

As for the mental side of things rather than medical, things are looking dire and

conversely hopeful. In recent years the stigma against discussing one’s post-traumatic

stress has slowly been turned back at least in the civilian world. Tim looks positively on

some aspects of the information age and what it can do to help veterans. “You’ve got

guys killing themselves by the dozen every day because they can’t adapt to civilian life,

which I call bullsh*t.”254 Jay says. “Not on [the veterans],” he explains, “it shouldn’t be

on us to have to adapt, it should be on [society] to adapt to us… don’t try and alienate the

people who are trying to get sh*t done.” Obviously more jaded about how he feels

society treats veterans, Jay’s outlook is not shared by all but the problem he describes of

veteran suicide is undeniably rampant. “We’ll be remembered as the generation of

PTSD,” Matt states matter-of-factly recalling the diagnosis so many veterans of Iraq and

Afghanistan have received.255 “If I’m having a bad day,” Jay confesses, “I’ll jump on my

Harley and go get some ‘wind therapy’. I’ll find some other vets and bullsh*t with them.

If I’m having a really bad day, worse than that, I’ll go talk to a counselor.”256 In this brief

moment Jay, a member of the old-school army rife with experience of harsh hazing and

experience in invading both Iraq and Afghanistan, confides that seeking help is normal

and the healthiest thing to do. With these increased rates of mental trauma has come a

253 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 254 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 255 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 256 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 117

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more open society within the veteran community as it relates to seeking help and talking

openly about problems that may play a role in eventually stemming the flow of veteran

suicides. Giving an air of hope to situation Jay remarks that “on the veteran side of the

house [the mental health discussion is] changing. It’s becoming something like, ‘alright

dude, you’re pretty f*cked up and you need to go see somebody’.”257

Post-traumatic stress has already caused lots of problems for many veterans

before being recognized as a standard by-product of war and the heightened operational

tempo of the peak War on Terror years ‘03-’11.258 Returning home from combat takes a

lasting toll on human physiology the likes of which the American government was not

prepared for. In Lethal Warriors, David Phillipps catalogs the striking rise in violence of

a returning infantry unit at Ft. Carson.259 Exposed to incredibly heavy fighting for a year,

incidents of assault, drunk driving, and armed robbery plagued the surrounding

community a well as the men of the returning unit. While put on heavy medications by

the military, soldiers still exhibited extreme spikes in unlawful behavior described as the

result of post-traumatic stress.260 Tim describes the feelings of anxiety upon his return

home as a constant drip of adrenaline supplied by his brain for no apparent reason.261 “To

have that mindset [that there’s an imminent threat],” Tim says, “you’ll start to seek out

confrontation or you’ll see things as a threat and they’re not… nothing warrants what

we’re doing with our body (the heightened awareness and constant adrenaline).” The

hyper-vigilance described here is a symptom of post-traumatic stress as described by Dr.

257 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 258 Phillipps, Lethal Warriors: When the new band of brothers came home, (New York: Palgrave-Macmillan Press, 2010), 250. 259 Phillipps, Lethal Warriors, 12. 260 Philipps, Lethal Warriors, 252. 261 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history, Interview by author, 2018. 118

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Charles Hoge in his book Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior.262 Describing the way

active duty treats soldiers Jay says, “they will use you until you’re no longer useful. Once

you become a problem, you are not THEIR problem.”

Returning from the military to civilian life is rough transition for most but retired

Col. Charles Hoge has tried to compile a guide for combat veterans. In an effort to take

their adapting skills to civilian world, Hoge suggests that instead of rewiring their brains,

veterans focus their different style of thinking on positive tasks rather than negative ones.

In other words, instead of training yourself NOT to think about something negative like

marriage issues, analytically focus on what improvements may need to be made and try

to get better. “We look at everything like a field problem, like it’s an attack,” Jay states

regarding the mentality with which most veterans approach adversity. Speaking a

language veterans understand of goals to be achieved, Hoge lays out tips to combat post-

traumatic stress through psychotherapy,263 getting through the healthcare system

available to veterans,264 and the rough transition to civilian life.265 Understanding as Matt

said that a veteran “is always still different”266 Hoge attempts to use the tools in a

veteran’s toolbox to assist them in becoming productive members of society who have a

better understanding of how their unusual experiences can be dealt with. There is

potential for the increased acceptance of mental health treatment combined with a

broader base of knowledge regarding reintegration and a more vocal support network of

262 Charles Hoge, Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior, (Guilford: Globe Pequot Press, 2010), 52. 263 Hoge, Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior, 192. 264 Hoge, Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior, 170. 265 Hoge, Once A Warrior, Always A Warrior, 257. 266 Matt Bennett, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 119

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veterans to greatly impact soldiers leaving the military today and hopefully prevent

thousands more deaths in the future.

Do non-veterans find a place in veteran culture?

While being a veteran is a very amorphous trait there is undoubtedly a bond

uniting most people who decide to join the armed forces. Whether after seeing combat or

not, all veterans will eventually separate from the military and make civilian friends

whether it be after three years or twenty years in the military. Some civilians will become

even closer than their veteran friends, but civilians will never be veterans. In fact, Tim

stated that the way he feels most normal is “making friends who had nothing to do with

the military.”267 Every veteran I interviewed agreed that they never looked down on

civilians even though there are plenty of veterans vocally derisive of a civilian not

“serving”. “The only way I’ll hate on somebody for not serving is if they come at me or

critique me for having served,” Jay stated when asked his opinion on civilians.268 Since

the veteran culture described here has at its heart shared experience through combat or

hardship in the military, a civilian would not be able to encroach too far into “veteran

territory” before being discovered. However, it’s still common for civilians to present

themselves in a way that non-verbally gives the appearance of prior service as well as

officially deceiving others into believing that they did serve. “There’s just so many

267 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 268 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 120

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[civilians] now that have copied [military themed clothing],” Tim states in

exasperation.269

Just as veterans can make choices about their appearance as to whether they want

to appear “military” or not, civilians make the same choice. Several interviewees have

mentioned an interesting phenomenon as many civilians have started to adopt the same

appearance as veterans who want to show their veteran status. “They desperately want to

be the image [of a veteran].” Matt holds a very low opinion of civilians adopting an

already obnoxious look, “usually it’s because they don’t have a personality of their own

and it gives them something to latch onto.”270

As the visible traits of veterans have already been covered I believe it is

interesting to note that the trend started by Chris Kyle’s success- namely “Punisher”

skulls, tactical hats and pants, and otherwise overtly putting up a military atmosphere has

not just stayed within the veteran community. A sniper with kills in the hundreds

unsurprisingly attracted a lot of attention from the American populace, especially with

the hero-worshipping mindset developed by much of the general public. In this last

section focus will be turned to those civilians who choose to appear if only for a moment

as veterans whether falsely stating that they are or through more subtle means.

The term “civilian sheepdog” has gained a lot of traction within the past decade

and a half as has the mindset that accompanies it. The basic principle is that the general

populace is made up of sheep and there are wolves (criminals) preying on the sheep. Only

with the protection of a sheepdog are the sheep able to be safe. In this metaphor the

person who thinks of themselves as a sheepdog (who in my experience and in the

269 Tim Vansyckle, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2018. 270 Matt Bennet, Oral history #3, Interview by author, 2018. 121

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interviews conducted is always a man) protects the sheep typically through carrying a

weapon and always being on alert.271 This group of regularly armed civilians has become

much more vocal in recent years (mostly since the 2008 Presidential election) and are

typically derided because of the notion that “any keyboard warrior can go on Oakley.com

or tactical tailor and say ‘oh I’m an operator now’ meanwhile they’re a 400 pound

f*cking sofa who doesn’t leave their house except to give money to the pizza delivery

guy.”272

So what does this other subculture have to do with modern veterans? Well the

manner of dress and appearance exhibited by “civilian sheepdogs” and “tacticool bros”

perfectly mirrors the image of a modern veteran. As memes, comics, and war movies

have given us an idea of what a War on Terror veteran looks like, the public also picks up

on indicators that a person may be a veteran when they are out of uniform. The old phrase

says that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and in this case that imitation is

intended to carry specific connotations which have been earned by the veteran

community. “Since 9/11 it’s been ‘we love our military! Support our troops!’ The

military does no f*cking wrong!” A hyperbolic statement given by Jay sums up his level

of distrust with the hero worship exhibited by society, a common sentiment among most

veterans, but carries the truth that most of the American populace has a favorable opinion

of a military member just for the fact that they are a military member. While all the

interviewees describe something along the lines of “just wanting to be left alone” and that

271 This is different from the involuntary hypervigilance seen in post-traumatic stress patients and is a chosen trait. 272 Jay Walters, Oral history #2, Interview by author, 2019. 122

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“most veterans hate to be thanked for their service,” it irritates many to see civilians

dressed in a way that is heavily associated with the military.273

The implicit civilian misconception that all veterans are tough, know how to fight,

and have been in combat is a camouflage feature used by these civilians. In order to

portray a tough exterior, “civilian sheepdogs” are described in my interviews as putting

on a pair of rugged tactical pants, a verbally abusive t-shirt from a veteran-owned

company, and standing around like someone who is definitely not carrying a gun right

now (they are).274 Several combat veterans have described interactions with these people

as being evasive when asked about serving or questioned about a story they brought up.

Typically there won’t be an outright lie, but getting the person to actually admit they

were never in the military is like pulling teeth and is reminiscent of similarly dressed men

who don’t want to admit that their time in the military was solely stateside or that they

never left the city-sized base they were stationed at overseas.

For these civilians, the military has always been the epitome of American-ness.

Serving their country may have been a goal which was never achieved due to medical

issues (which my interviewees have specifically stated never garners ill-will from

veterans) or because they simply did not have the desire to fully commit to enlisting.275

However with the role of America propagandizing the veteran, the military becomes just

about the only way they can see someone as serving the country. Included in this

273 Matt Bennett, Oral history #1, Interview by author, 2018. 274 Matt Bennett, Oral history #5, Interview by author, 2018. 275 “6 of the top ways to spot a veteran wannabe”, Tim Kirkpatrick, We Are The Mighty, Published March 13, 2018, Accessed May 12, 2019. https://www.wearethemighty.com/humor/6-of-the-top-ways-to-spot-a-veteran-wannabe 123

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demographic are typically far-right politics and the fetishization of guns and violence

without any real-life experience with either.

The appearance of a “civilian sheepdog” serves as an example of the true height

of idolization received by the military, one not received by other professions but instead

received by other subcultures. Friends start their own motorcycle club and ride together

wearing leather jackets or riding Harley’s- all things that vaguely resemble a Hell’s

Angel or a Mongol but that most people know immediately is not a member of that

group. The distinction here is that most of society doesn’t know how to tell the difference

between someone who has served and has not. This imitation is not of a profession but of

a culture that the civilian wants to belong to. The difference between being an initiated

member of this group and a motorcycle club is that you have to give up a few years of

your life and possibly travel to another country to earn your street-cred.

Stolen Valor: Civilians forcing themselves into veteran culture

In 2013, President Obama signed an extension onto the already existing Stolen

Valor Act of 2005 which made it “a federal crime to fraudulently claim to be the recipient

of certain military decorations or medals in order to obtain money, profit or tangible

benefit.”276 Already in existence was a prohibition on impersonating military members

through wearing a uniform or claiming unearned medals, but the 2013 expansion

widened the definition for what could be considered a crime under this law. Efforts to

limit instances of Stolen Valor and perpetrators accountable have escalated fairly rapidly

in the course of eight years under two sitting Presidents of conflicting parties it is logical

276 H.R.258- 113th Congress. Stolen Valor Act of 2013. 124

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to argue that the idea of impersonating a servicemember in the United States was and is

something that just is not condoned as a culture, so much so that the restriction of such

action was rapidly and almost unanimously made into law.

Just as videos of combat and coming home from war fill YouTube, videos of

phony veterans being called out for their deception have circulated voraciously among a

wider audience of online military-themed communities as well as making their way into

the mainstream and even appearing on television shows such as Tosh.0.277 However,

unlike videos of carnage and fighting, these videos have an intended audience of anyone

and everyone.278 While they may be almost exclusively recorded by veterans, the

message intended by posting and sharing these videos is universal: shame. As the runner-

up in popularity concerning military-themed videos viewed by the public,279 Stolen Valor

videos have made their way around each social network with most people having seen an

example of such a video where very seldom one would see a combat video. To

understand why this is a trend at all first I need to explain specifically what a Stolen

Valor video typically entails and then I will offer an explanation for the very occurence

of not only the commission of these incidents but the reasoning behind the fervor with

which veterans attack these liars. The increasing occurrence of “Stolen Valor” over the

past few years as well as the passion with which perpetrators are derided both support my

overarching argument of American society as a whole venerating servicemembers while

simultaneously remaining removed from any level of in-depth understanding.

277 “Tosh.0- Stolen Valor”, YouTube video, 5:07, posted by Comedy Central, April 15, 2015. 278 The videos not only take place in public but also exhibit view counts closer to that of the veteran homecomings rather than combat videos. 279 Videos and compilations regularly exceed a million views, however the comments show a wider range of audience these videos have reached out to. 125

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What is Stolen Valor?

The idea of “stealing valor” so to speak, or claiming awards, honors, or even time

in the service that one did not earn is not a new phenomenon and has in all likelihood

been a persistent trait in any society where warriors are held in high regard. As a matter

of fact the number of Americans claiming in census reports to be Vietnam veterans is five

times that of what the Office of Veterans Administration says are alive today.280 However

in much more recent years (the past decade) there has been a large spotlight placed on

people who impersonate not just a veteran, someone separated from the military, but

pretending to be people who are currently actively still serving. This increased level of

attention given to the perpetrators is layered in vitriol far above a liar who committed a

crime by impersonating a police officer or tried to pick up a woman by saying he was an

airline pilot. Society has demonstrated in recent years the sacred ground on which it

places the armed forces so much so that to even pretend to hold that occupation is not

treated in the same regard as a jerk in bar just lying as he always does but instead this

deception is seen as a catastrophic way to impugn one’s own honor. Furthermore, while

there undoubtedly are more men committing this act, there are a few instances of women

pretending to be military members as well.281 With this in mind I believe that the act of

“stealing valor” may serve two purposes: to make the wearer of the uniform feel like

something they may have always wanted to be and to encourage immediate respect from

those around them. A desire to be respected or perhaps treated better would be one that

280 David Hack, “Vietnam War Facts, Stats, and Myths,” U.S. Wings. Accessed May 17, 2019. https://www.uswings.com/about-us-wings/vietnam-war-facts/ 281 “Fake Colonel Goes Into Recruiting Office Looking For Free Ride”, YouTube video, 2:05, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, May 24, 2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxZqS61ldp4 126

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crosses over gender barriers and would be welcomed by anyone as any easy solution to

whatever problem they hope donning a pair of cammies will fix.

The same way similarities and common ties pop up throughout the videos of

combat described in the previous section, there are notable aspects that connect

confrontations regarding Stolen Valor namely the actual instance of a confrontation itself,

the rhetoric used when confronting the person in question, and the location/populace in

which the events happen. All of these things are shared throughout video evidence of

these encounters and anecdotally the number of encounters that take place under similar

circumstances is incredibly high with most veterans having probably witnessed some

form of Stolen Valor.282 First though, it is important to distinguish what is and is not

Stolen Valor as the definition may be a little shaky to just a casual reader. Stolen Valor as

far as the law and prosecutable crime is concerned is claiming awards or honors that were

not earned in order to receive some sort of benefit from that recognition. In social circles

the definition is much looser than the legal one and generally means formally claiming

awards you did not earn or pretending to have served somewhere you did not (or serving

at all if you have not). Therefore, someone just embellishing a story of serving overseas

is not what I am concerned with in this section and not even really someone claiming to

have more Silver Stars than their military record shows as Chris Kyle did in his book

American Sniper. Stolen Valor videos can be found online simply by searching the term

“Stolen Valor” and typically depict recordings of an individual in a uniform out in public.

This person is confronted about their claims by a military member who does not believe

the individual is who they say they are. Sometimes the encounter will escalate (through

282 This is based on my own interactions with veterans during encounters separate from my oral histories. 127

Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 the actions of the cameraman) into verbally harassing the person committing Stolen Valor until they leave the area either out of embarrassment or because the surrounding people are now onto their game.

While continuing the focus on the developing influence of the online community as it relates to military cultural matters, the use of videos as a means to record evidence firsthand is invaluable but it cannot be taken as evidence of a widespread epidemic. As a small caveat before analysis gets underway it is important to state that I am not using the existence of a few dozen videos as evidence of a rampant epidemic but rather the reactions to these videos in a manner of evaluation similar to judging the support for combat videos and actions therein.

What does Stolen Valor reflect?

The fact that someone made a recording of an altercation with an individual impersonating a military member demonstrates an incredibly personal connection with the action being committed. In the same way it is already been argued that a soldier’s deployment holds meaning because of the ways they chose to remember it, these encounters with imposters of the military are done so typically with a high level of anger.

The very fact that someone saw what was occurring and decided to record it and then go one step further and confront the individual about wearing a military uniform or claiming to be someone they were not demonstrates an incredible affront felt by the one recording the incident.

Furthermore, this perceived personal attack, oddly always filmed vertically for who knows what reason, contains several trademarks or progressions. The individual is

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asked about their service which could entail the awards displayed on their uniform283, the

unit patches worn284, where they are stationed,285 or what their occupation is.286 It is not

uncommon for someone to claim to be “out of clean clothes” when uniform deficiencies

are pointed out or simply that they are wearing bits and pieces of several uniforms.287

From questioning a person about their service this typically escalates to telling the soldier

how the actual military member believes they are a phony. A favorite phrase to use when

doing this has a rather interesting appearance in almost every recorded instance which is

telling the person some derivation of “people died in that uniform”.288 A simple statement

that carries an immense amount of weight as well as implications with it. This one phrase

popping up so many times is important as it demonstrates the extreme significance the

videographer places on that uniform only being worn by those who have earned it. This is

not to say that their claim is incorrect or even unjustified but simply that the reason for so

many encounters occurring in such a confrontational manner like what was described in

the previous paragraphs is connected to the immense personal connection between a

veteran, their service, and the likelihood that they knew someone who lost their life as a

part of their commitment to wearing the uniform.

283 “Fake SGM Called Out At Funeral By Marines Part 1”, YouTube video, 5:08, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, July 21, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56DGe-1zwj0 284“Kelsie Hoover Uses Fake Michael Cipriani Persona, Poses As Soldier At Washington Airport.” YouTube video, 2:27, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, 27 Feb. 2015. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WHApREqchA. 285 “Fake Colonel Goes Into Recruiting Office Looking For Free Ride”, YouTube video, 2:05, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, May 24, 2016. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxZqS61ldp4 286 “Fake Marine Called Out By Army Officer In Kansas Airport Stolen Valor”, YouTube video, 2:25, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, September 8, 2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbkB8R 287 “Stolen Valor and Fake EOD Outed By Veteran and Cop in Fresno Airport”, YouTube video, 7:18, Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, April 6, 2015. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KigyqlZgzU 288 “Ex-Ranger and fellow veteran call out fake soldier”, YouTube video, 2:03, posted by Kristopher Vieira, March 12, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HC0DGMfrnw 129

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The surroundings and location of these instances are also important. For the legal

definition of Stolen Valor to be applied the individual must be using their fake credentials

for personal gain and a very borderline version of this always comes through as the

person wears their fake uniform out in public for everyone to see. Whether it is the mall

on Black Friday or trying to get free coffee and preferential seating in an airport, people

consistently love to show off their fake uniform in front of others to get accolades,

personal attention, or free goods. Those who are falsely wearing the uniform know that

they will most likely get one of those three things if they wear the uniform in public

despite actual service members’ typical disgust for publicly wearing their uniforms.

Another interesting hallmark of many of the people displayed are the jobs they claim to

have held most of which are in the Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) or Special

Operations community.289

This small detail concerning their phony Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) I

attribute to the overexposure of Special Operations in modern-day media. An individual

may not know how to properly place patches on their uniform but by watching movies

like First Blood, American Sniper, or Saving Private Ryan (all very commercially

successful movies and in the public realm for years) they know the high regard with

which Special Operations soldiers are held.290 While there are statistically many out in

the country “stealing valor” and getting away with it, a high percentage of those who get

289 With just under 2,000 NFL players (53 players on 32 teams) and just over 2,000 SEALS an individual going about daily life would be just about as likely to meet a current NFL player as they would be to meet a Navy SEAL. https://navyseals.com/nsw/structure/ 290 I choose these movies as examples because not only were they wildly successful in the civilian market they each depict member of US Army Special Forces, US Navy SEALs, and US Army Rangers respectively 130

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caught claim illustrious military careers straight out of a Tom Clancy novel.291 To

someone in the general public who would not think to question the credentials of

someone in uniform even more respect would be afforded to the person who claimed to

be a member of a famously tough unit such as the “green berets” (Army Special Forces).

For this reason of elevated respect beyond what is given an ordinary soldier I believe

more and more people attempt to “steal valor” from members of this specific community.

The EOD patch has also been displayed in at least 4 very popular Stolen Valor videos.

Whether this is due to the size of the patch being mistaken for a unit patch or because of

the film The Hurt Locker, the fact remains that pretending to be EOD is a very popular

choice if the fake Special Forces life is not for you.

Why are any of these attributes of a few videos even significant? Why do these

specific elements even matter? The cases of recording and using specific rhetoric to refer

to this impersonation being an affront to fallen soldiers is further demonstration of the

almost deification of the modern military. Perhaps society has a profound respect for

what they imagine to be a dangerous job or perhaps many harbor a feeling of guilt for

benefiting from the sacrifice of others. Nevertheless, the military as an institution has

become one which cannot be derided, defunded, or questioned without first assuring

anyone who is listening that you do in fact “support the troops”.

The fact that someone can put on a uniform and walk through the public for hours

on end without being questioned at all and simply thanked or praised for what many

assume is his profession is a demonstration of the lack of knowledge possessed by the

291 Former Navy SEAL, Don Shipley, runs a YouTube channel that exposes people across America for claiming to be Navy SEALs since that specific claim is such a common occurrence. https://www.youtube.com/user/Buds131/ 131

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general public regarding military life. The audience of these videos is quite varied and

reaches out across many political and social boundaries unified in the condemnation of

someone pretending to be a member of the military. While it is safe to say that the typical

American would look down on lying in general there is a unique response displayed

through the backlash to these videos in the form of newscasts openly deriding these

individuals, articles in local papers, and of course the always present social networking

outrage.

However, in the same way that the minimal popularity292 of videos of combat

demonstrate an explicit desire by society to remain unaware of the true nature of overseas

operations, the viewed desire to not question a man in uniform further shows the

separation between mainstream society and any form of military life that is not relegated

to the two seconds it takes to loudly proclaim across the room to a soldier, “thank you for

your service!”

292 Relative popularity is judged by numbers of views as well as the observed breadth of the audience a video reaches. A video with twenty thousand views, published by a military page, and comments reflecting an almost all military viewership would no doubt be considered “less popular” than a video with one hundred thousand views, published by a news channel, and comments coming from a mix of civilians and veterans. 132

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Chapter V

Conclusion

Veteran culture has consistently revolved around a feeling of separation from

“mainstream” society. This separation is made abundantly clear by the pop-culture consumed by the American public and the rampant misconceptions that veterans describe encountering in their everyday lives. Specifically focusing on the Army and Marine

Corps, it is critical to dispel rumors about the actual act of combat engagements and those who participate in them. Most soldiers will never see combat in their life just as most soldiers do not even hold an occupation that would put them in harm’s way outside of a massive catastrophe. Not being any less of a soldier, these support level service-members no doubt face many questions about their service from the ignorant public just as combat arms soldiers do. When it comes to combat, all evidence points to the direct contrary of what most Hollywood blockbusters suggest is a glorious and well-organized battle led by heroic commanders. Despite stretching across different generations, units, and even branches of service, combat is consistently described as all but pure chaos with the heroic actions seen in Hollywood being denigrated as the quickest way to get killed. With

American society not consuming correct information regarding what goes on in the military, how can they be expected to understand the experience of many service- members upon their return to the civilian world?

Because of the revolution in technology in the past twenty years, video and photograph technology has progressed by leaps and bounds. This advancement has allowed citizens to become an active part of the journalism process and the battlefield the

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 advancement of technology means soldiers are able to provide their own firsthand accounts for whatever designated viewers they choose back home. Beginning first as a way to record a particular unit’s travels and experiences, deployment videos became the way for military members to take agency in the memorialization process without the typical involvement of the state. Used as a means to remember one's own time overseas, deployment videos progressed to being footage of combat and active firefights. These combat videos while being mostly publicly available serve as some of the most direct evidence of a subculture of War on Terror combat veterans that is hidden in plain sight.

Shared across Facebook and based largely on YouTube, footage of firefights has become a way for veterans past and present to praise the actions of their brothers in arms and pay homage to those who have performed their job under fire from the enemy, an ordeal already shown to be misunderstood by the general public.

In generations past there have been consistent definable traits given to war veterans largely based on the type of war they fought or the conditions of the nation they returned to. Affected in heavy numbers by post-traumatic stress and suicide, War on

Terror veterans have used technology again to come together as a community in an effort to maintain their sense of community that was lost upon leaving the service. Online veteran groups serve as a central location for introducing or continuing trends such as the literal modern image of a veteran, providing support for veterans in need, and the sharing of military-centric memes and videos (sometimes including the aforementioned combat videos). The public’s unusual fascination for all things military combined with veteran groups being totally open to be viewed by the public has allowed many civilians the opportunity to make their way into this online veteran-focused space. Many do nothing

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 but watch and observe but in the past few years, veteran culture can be seen to have a bleeding effect into the civilian community primarily in the form of clothing choices and some civilians directly lying about military service in order to receive some sort of profit.

The effect of the Special Operations community appearing in so many films lately has given the general public a physical image of what a tough war veteran looks like. Using this public image to their advantage, many civilians have adopted the veteran look as well as many veterans who prey on public ignorance to show off their status and hopefully hide their lackluster service record. In the same manner that it may be surprising to learn that most veterans never see combat, most sources conclude that the majority of younger veterans who choose to showcase their service were typically the furthest away from the fight.

For better or for worse, a veteran will always hold that label and even if they do not visibly portray their veteran status, there are certain assumptions made when that status is made known. Their experience is inseparable from their character and for most combat veterans the brotherhood found in the army is worlds more important than the army itself. The biggest issue is when a person finds out a new acquaintance is veteran of combat in the War on Terror what do they immediately think about them? Do they think of a person who can not get past their own bitterness towards society or do they think of someone who is now doing the best they can with their life and constantly working to move forward rather than looking back? I think that the best way a combat veteran can become a part of society is to truly accept the differences from their past that make them who they are and while still looking ahead to the change they still have the opportunity to affect.

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Veteran Monologues

If you wrote a book about your experiences in the War on Terror, what story would you tell? What would you want the reader to take away from that story?

Aston, Russell: 173d Airborne & 82d Airborne In-theater: Afghanistan 2012-2013, 2014-2015 “I think it would be a comedy. It would be everything funny that happened to my friends.

Just the funny trips, and slips, and falls, and the dumb situations that me and my friends got into with women I guess. I feel like I would write something funny. Something to appeal to other veterans because only they would understand that point of view… I guess

[my target reader] would be my friends. My friends would get a kick out of something I would want to write for them I guess and I feel like there are a lot of people out there who are just like my friends and would enjoy reading what I could come up with. Maybe.”

Bennett, Matt: 1st Cavalry In-theater: Iraq 2009-2010, 2011-2012 “I probably wouldn’t tell a story involving that much of my actual time in the military because I think that’s been told. My story in the military has been told. I think if I were to tell a story relevant to me and being a veteran, I would tell the story of me from [age] 0-

17. The kid that became a soldier. All the cumulative experiences and input. Media, family, society, personal interests, what made me what I am and how that pertains to what I did. And then maybe skip ahead through my time in the military to how I came out of it afterwards. The kid I was, how I got there, and the military- that story that’s been told, how that changed that kid into who I am now.”

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Fell, Kelton: 2/75 Ranger Battalion In-theater: Oman 2014-2015, Afghanistan 2015-2016 “I would definitely like to go pretty much day-by-day through my whole experience and give it with no kind of moralistic or altruistic slant just so there’s something out there that people can take at face value; you know what I mean? Because I didn’t know what to believe. You know you read these crazy books like Lone Survivor and you’re like ‘well, how much of this is real and how much of this is embellishment?’ Because he has a lot of phrases in there like ‘oh I was the greatest warrior of all time’ blah blah blah- that’s not a direct quote by the way. And you think ‘well what happened? Is this all true?’ And so I’d like to just write everything down exactly how it happened. For one thing just so I can remember. I’m sure in a while I’ll have forgotten some of these things. [I forget] names.

Oh man. Guys that I deployed with that I sit there forever and I’m like ‘what was their name?’ I almost have to text someone from my unit to remember. Maybe it’s because we only had last names and it’s kinda impersonal. But yeah people. Not people that weren’t important you know. Like my platoon sergeant. I was on his elbow the entire deployment. He took shrapnel and I got him on the bird and medevaced him and for the better part of five months I was sitting there thinking ‘what was that guy’s name?’ and I finally came up with it. But yeah that’s the main thing. Other things, little facts like which mission was which blur together and I’m like ‘was that by [location] or this or that?’ but it doesn’t bother me. I’ve got the stories. I would definitely want to destigmatize the ‘traumatized veteran’ say at least up to my level. This isn’t some psychologist telling you PTSD is way over-inflated. Most guys are totally rational people coming back. But instead it’s someone who did airborne, did special operations, saw combat, saw it in most of its forms and I can tell you personally and most of the guys I

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 came in contact with- if they were messed up coming in, they were messed up going out.

And the vast majority of them came out just fine.”

Guzman, Rocky: 3-144 Infantry Regiment & 636 Military Intelligence Battalion In-theater: Iraq 2007-2008, Afghanistan 2009 “I’d probably leave out Iraq because it was really boring. Afghanistan, and I know I keep coming back to that, but I guess I had a really good experience there. It was a better experience; it did have its negatives though-we did lose people. I guess I would want to share that. I know we’re there and some people don’t agree with why we’re there, I don’t disagree or agree you know it doesn’t matter to me. I was in the military that was my job, that was where I was gonna go, that was what they told me to do. But I guess those people REALLY were fighting for their country. You know their army, their military, their police, most of them were really fighting for themselves. They really did need help from someone and I’m not saying we were the only solution to their problem… I don’t think most guys cared, what they were fighting [for], or the war, it was mostly ‘hey I’m fighting for my brother next to me.’ Nobody really cared what they did it was more of this is my job, this is my mission and I’m gonna try and come back alive. Everybody’s experiences are different and the way [war] affects people. Some people don’t understand

PTSD and how you come home and some people it affects and some people it doesn’t.

You know I hate hearing about all these veterans that kill themselves or overdose or stuff like that. I just wish I could read a book that would explain that to me. You know, what’s occurring here and why? What’s the disconnect? What could we do? You can sit there and ask yourself ‘what could I do to help this guy?’”

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Hernandez, Daniel: 10th Mountain In-theater: Afghanistan 2006-2007, 2009-2010 “The feeling you get when you take a human life. There are so many emotions attached to it, it’s not even real. To have that much power over somebody’s life and to take it- you can never replicate that feeling ever. The amount of adrenaline, the emotions, the physical part of it, the act of going through and committing to that. It cannot be replicated and it’s something that you can’t teach but you definitely learn when it happens to you.

Not with the first couple times [was it always the same] but then after that it just really opens up. And so we kinda just ran numb for most of the deployment, we got the right kills. We’re still operational [after killing], we can operate when we come back from that.

As long as you have a clear conscience with your kills, you’ll be able to function again in society. Not normally, but you’ll be able to function again and get by without having so feel so… anything. You know, as long as you can justify what you did and you get help when you need it, you’ll be alright.”

Polk, William: 101st Airborne In-theater: Afghanistan 2014 “If I were to write a book, it would probably be on all the random little things that happen while you’re over there. Not necessarily about going on patrols or shooting bad guys or X amount of explosions that I was in. Just the random funny stuff that goes on because I don’t think the people who haven’t been in that situation really know. You know what I mean? Like just random everyday funny stuff that happens between you and your battle buddy or you and somebody else. I think that’s what kinda makes or breaks a deployment. For you to come back and be alright versus strictly in nine or ten months of straight hell I think being able to do that and joke with each other or play pranks on each

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 other I think I would write about that. Just the funny things that we do to each other to keep each other entertained. I’d want the reader to take away that war is hell but that doesn’t mean that your spirit can be broken. There are good things that can come from situations like that. Just because you’re in a war doesn’t mean that you always have to always be mad or always be sad. You can find happiness in a pretty crappy situation. You can make jokes about it and poke fun at it.”

Sanchez, Tony: 10th Mountain In-theater: Afghanistan 2011-2012, 2013 “For me I think it would be more like the f**ked up s**t that happens. People will assume that if somebody dies in Afghanistan or Iraq or maybe in all wars, people just assume that that dude’s a hero and that he died a hero’s death. But some people die in a way that’s not good, a way that’s meaningless. Like there’s dudes that die delivering mail. Like they’re bringing mail to deliver from a base and they die there. Like what a s**tty way to go. We would have people die from negligent discharges and s**t like that.

People don’t know how to treat a weapon… If I were to have to write a book it would be some stuff about the hard truth. If it were a documentary it’d be of all the s**tty situations that people see and they kinda just keep their mouths shut about or they don’t wanna talk about it. Some of the things we see when we’re over there or some of the things with the people that we work with. Even that guy, the Navy SEAL that got in trouble for killing that ISIS- that young ISIS guy, they wanna call him a kid but he’s not a f**kin’ kid, he’s a fighter. Who cares? That [SEAL] probably shared the same mindset of

‘you have to become what you fight.’ That’s what I always used to tell my soldiers in active duty. Like I used to tell them ‘these guys are monsters, so you have to be their

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 nightmare.’ And you have to become something like them but worse and that’s the way you’re gonna carry on with them and you just can’t hesitate. And all these things I say, my people made me who I am and they were right to make me who I was, or the way I am I guess- I didn’t change. I didn’t change, I’m just out here. That’s why I said there was a point when I first got out that I was like ‘I need to change my mindset and the way

I carry myself’ but I tell people now I’m always gonna be a killer and what does that consist of? I don’t know but that’s who I am and I won’t change it. Just knowing all the s**t that a soldier has to go through [is what I would want someone to take away from the story]. And like I said I feel like they make someone’s death out to [be] a heroic death or there was just this patriotic cause or meaning and I know something like that would hurt their family but maybe that would give a better understanding of the things we have to deal with and we go through.”

Sanchez, Fernando: 2d Infantry Division & 3d Cavalry Regiment In-theater: Afghanistan 2013, 2014-2015 “I’d probably try to make it almost like a diary- a firsthand account of my experience. I feel like i could do a better job of writing something like that instead of writing an overall history it [the war] just because i know what i went through and what I experienced while

I was in. [The message for the reader would be] probably to not give up because that’s one recurring thing that I dealt with when I was in and even when I was out. That was definitely a huge dilemma for me when I was first transitioning out of active duty was the fact that I had never given up on anything in my life and at that time I kinda felt like I was giving up on myself by getting out but at the same time you have to twist it and rethink it to be ‘I’m not giving up, I'm giving myself a different and better opportunity’

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 because like there was that little brief period [before separating] to where I was like ‘f**k

I'm actually giving up on something.’”

Uptain, Jordan: 1st Infantry Division In-theater: Horn of Africa 2013 “I would want people to know that just because your circumstances are sometimes not the most ideal laying down on your back and complaining about it is not the answer. In the civilian world you can actually get up and change your circumstances and do something about it. I’ve learned a lot of life lessons; I grew up a lot [in the army]. I was not the same person I am now before I joined. So I grew up a lot, learned a lot, had a lot of fast-paced life experience. Personal responsibility [would be my message]. Just because I don’t want to hear that ‘it’s not my fault.’ Ok change it. Change your circumstances, put some effort into your life and see how good it can become. Whereas you could just sit around and complain and nothing’s gonna get done. If you want to change something, then go change it.”

Vansyckle, Tim: 1st Cavalry In-theater: Iraq 2009-2010, 2011-2012 “I would be more of a humanistic approach, you know? And show a side that goes against [the norm]. I think it’s always good medicine for some people if you can force the book down their throat to show them that there’s real people with real lives that have the same feelings and emotions that you do here and the same problems. They love, they hate, they laugh, they cry, they have joy. So, I would just go back to this compassion.

And I would try to show that if [the reader] could be in my shoes and they had done and

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 been where I went that even then you could see, you could see [their humanity]. Then you would be hard-pressed to go and hate them [and think] they’re [all] the enemy.”

Walters, Jay: 3/75 Ranger Battalion, 2-121 Infantry Regiment, 1-181 Infantry Regiment, & Triple Canopy Private Security In-theater: Afghanistan 2001, 2002, 2004, 2009-2010, 2010-2011, 2012-2013 Iraq 2003 “What not to do. From a private all the way through. I can’t talk about higher echelon because I wasn’t there. [Key decision-makers] may have had decisions that [were] big picture. Sometimes the big picture gives you too much information and you gotta focus on what’s happening [on the small scale]. What I saw a lot of in Afghan is [upper echelon is] trying to do big picture and what’s good for the Afghan “country”. Shrink that s**t down and go ‘what’s good for this province?’ Ok let’s take this province, let’s hold this province. What’s good for this [other] province? Let’s bring these f**kers over [united with the other province]. You know? And then just slowly bring in each province until now you have a solidified country. Because I mean like I said my expertise is Afghan and you have hundreds of cultures in that country, you have thousands of languages. Every different province speaks a different language. How do you expect them to fight as a country if they can’t even f**kin’ talk to each other? The easiest way I see it to stop problems like Afghan or Iraq or wherever, as just a lowly f**king platoon sergeant- or you know what? f**k it. Take the military [experience] out of this. The easiest way I see it as a human is why the f**k are we the world police? Why do we think we’re so much better than everybody else? What has worked for America will not work for the rest of the f**king world. Let them do them. If they do something stupid and attack us, bomb that *ss and get the f**k out. Or don’t even go in, just bomb their *ss and go ‘hey [slap

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Texas Tech University, Caleb Bielby, August 2019 on the wrist], you did bad. Do it again, we’re gonna take your country.’ That’s it, immediate cause and effect. You did this, we took out two of your villages. You keep doing it, we take your country. It’s not a ‘oh this dictator in f**king Zimbabwe is doing euthanasia.’ That’s f**king Zimbabwe’s problem, that’s Africa’s problem. Are we in

Africa, no we’re in America. Are in Turkmenistan or Uzbekistan or [wherever]? f**k no.

That’s not America. That’s not America’s problem. Let us focus on our problems. I could go online and buy like three city blocks of Chicago for like two grand yet I have to worry about spending thirty billion dollars in f**king Syria? What the f**k? Is that not a problem? That’s not ‘patriot Jay’ going ‘oh yeah America’s the f**king greatest.’ That’s a common f**king sense human being going ‘I live in this country, why do I care what this other country is doing unless they’re attacking me?’”

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“Happyfuntime”. Filmed 2009-2010. YouTube video, 5:23. Posted by Posted by Cindy Vansyckle, March 2, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkT0qXEAZ-w&t=7s

“Hearts and Minds- A Grunt’s Life Episode 2 [half-o-sode]”, YouTube video, 9:22. Posted by VET Tv, September 28, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y32VIWhJmw

“Inside Veteran TV’s Dark and Controversial Humor”, YouTube video, 29:57. Posted by VICE News, June 12, 2018. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTrNxi3Uclw

Josh. Camera Man Shot, Marines Pinned Down in Haqlaniyah. Funker530, October 2, 2018. Accessed October 2, 2018. www.funker530.com/camera-man-shot/.

“Kelsie Hoover Uses Fake Michael Cipriani Persona, Poses As Soldier At Baltimore Washington Airport.” YouTube video, 2:27. Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, February 27, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WHApREqchA.

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“M240 Helmet Cam Firefight in Afghanistan”, YouTube video, 5:00. Posted by Funker530- Veteran Community & Combat Footage, Jan 2, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRPCNUzkqXk&t=53s

"M249 SAW GUNNER FIREFIGHT | FUNKER530." YouTube video, 6:44. Posted by FUNKER530 - Veteran Community & Combat Footage, March 14, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8sa8QFNEGI&t=303s.

“Prevent Suicide, or don’t”, YouTube video, 1:00. Posted by VET Tv, March 10, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJvKqVWehQU

“Raw Combat Footage United State Marines Wounded In Afghanistan”, YouTube video, 3:45, Posted by Deadbolt1975, Sep 11, 2012. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prYu928LFMc

“Ship Life”, YouTube video, 5:50. Posted by Terminal Boots, May 4, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9UBOGu6GQY

“Special Forces Soldier Calls Out Fake SF At T.F Green Airport, Stolen Valor.” YouTube video, 2:06. Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, August 31, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu3-KL7bWqE

“Stolen Valor and Fake EOD Outed By Veteran and Cop in Fresno Airport”, YouTube video, 7:18. Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, April 6, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KigyqlZgzU

“The Counseling”, YouTube video, 6:27. Posted by Terminal Boots, September 10, 2015. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rACZBxzT0U8

“The Wounded Platoon,” Public Broadcasting Station, 1:25:47. Posted by FRONTLINE, May 18, 2010. Accessed May 10, 2019. https://www.pbs.org/video/frontline-the- wounded-platoon/

“This Is What Winning Looks Like (Full Length)”, YouTube video, 1:29:10. Posted by VICE, May 27, 2013. Accessed October 1, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja5Q75hf6QI

“Tosh.0- Stolen Valor”, YouTube video, 5:07. Posted by Comedy Central, April 15, 2015. Accessed December 12, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Np7v8VfC8

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“Transgender Drill Instructor- Kill, Die, Laugh Episode 2 [half-o-sode]”, YouTube video, 13:57. Posted by VET Tv, August 31, 2017. Accessed May 20, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwIypE-QWAk

“US Army bomb techs give their verdict on The Hurt Locker.” YouTube video. 2:06. Posted by ABC News Australia, March 8, 2010. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZiRkO11i0

“US Marines Getting Hit”, YouTube video, 12:24. Posted by Military Footage and Archive, November 11, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMud2Et3xsA

“US Soldiers Eliminate Three Taliban Fighters During Ambush”. YouTube video, 11:34. Posted by Funker530- Veteran Community & Combat Footage, August 6, 2014. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYSCuAfOc5g

“Veteran Of 2/506th Calls Out Fake Ranger At Oxford Valley Mall.” YouTube video, 5:02. Posted by Guardian Of Valor Stolen Valor, November 28, 2014. Accessed October 1, 2018. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOj07ClhEi8.

“We Joined The Marines Trying To Defeat The Strongest Taliban Army Yet (HBO)”, YouTube video, 11:11. Posted by VICE, December 19, 2017. Accessed October 1, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDsyJCxYAoc&t=3s

Will. "Rare Firefight Video Of Canadian Special Operations Regiment." Funker530, November 6, 2018. Accessed November 6, 2018. https://www.funker530.com/rare-canadian-special- operations/?fbclid=IwAR27JcxgnoFICLhyXpfqA9a65YUBrTBbmUUxWdRr- 2Q8WzZWqQuhv74aBCY.

Will. “Reapers Fight It Out With Taliban In Kandahar”. Funker530, September 18, 2018. Accessed October 1, 2018. www.funker530.com/reapers-fight-taliban-kandahar/

Oral History Interviews:

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #3. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

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Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #4. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #5. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #6. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Aston, Russell. Interview by author. Video recording #7. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #1. San Antonio, TX, May 26, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #2. San Antonio, TX, May 27, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #3. San Antonio, TX, May 27, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #4. San Antonio, TX, June 28, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #5. San Antonio, TX, June 28, 2018.

Bennett, Matt. Interview by author. Video recording #6. San Antonio, TX, June 29, 2018.

Fell, Kelton. Interview by author. Video recording #1. College Station, TX, May 23, 2018.

Fell, Kelton. Interview by author. Video recording #2. College Station, TX, May 24, 2018.

Guzman, Rocky. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Midland, TX, Dec 12, 2018.

Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #3. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #4. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #5. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

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Hernandez, Daniel. Interview by author. Video recording #6. Midland, TX, May 17, 2018.

Polk, William. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Merkel, TX, Dec 14, 2018.

Sanchez, Antonio. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Midland, TX, Dec 13, 2018.

Sanchez, Antonio. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Midland, TX, Dec 13, 2018.

Sanchez, Fernando. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Midland, TX, Feb 8, 2019.

Sanchez, Fernando. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Midland, TX, Feb 8, 2019.

Shropshire, Jack. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Ransom Canyon, TX, Oct 17, 2018

Uptain, Jordan. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Lubbock, TX, Sep 27, 2018.

Uptain, Jordan. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Lubbock, TX, Sep 27, 2018

Vansyckle, Tim. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Odessa, TX, Sep 29, 2018.

Vansyckle, Tim. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Odessa, TX, Sep 29, 2018.

Walters, Jay. Interview by author. Video recording #1. Saginaw, TX, Jan 5, 2019.

Walters, Jay. Interview by author. Video recording #2. Saginaw, TX, Jan 5, 2019.

Walters, Jay. Interview by author. Video recording #3. Saginaw, TX, Jan 5, 2019.

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Appendix A

Oral History Interview Agreement Sample:

-Consent to be recorded and quoted was given on video at the outset of each interview- -Signed releases are available upon request-

Figure 10- Release document for interviewees

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Appendix B

Oral History Interview Questions:

Interview questions regarding combat experience in GWOT infantry units

*Before we begin please state your name and that you give permission for this interview to be recorded and viewed for research purposes*

General questions (answered prior via email): When and where were you born?

Why did you join the army?

Do you think you would have joined if there hadn’t been a war going on?

Why did you join the infantry specifically?

When it comes to your combat tours can you tell me about… 1) How many you’ve done 2) Where were they 3) When were they 4) How long were you deployed each time 5) What unit(s) you were with

General Military: If you hadn't gone into the military when you did, what would you have done instead?

What do you wish the general public knew about military experience? It can be about being in the military, combat, deployments. What common misconceptions would you want to fix?

What’s your favorite weapon you’ve been able to use so far?

What are some of your favorite memories from your time in the army? Deployment, combat, or even at home

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What’s the first thing you would change about the army or infantry if you had the power to do so?

What’s the best thing about being in the army?

What’s the most frustrating thing about being in the army?

Combat/Deployment: What’s the typical schedule of a week on deployment?

What were you typically doing on your combat patrols?

How did your leadership affect how dangerous and hazardous your deployment was?

To what extent were you able to modify or customize your gear? Compare to stateside vs. deployment vs. Nat’l Guard

Before your first experience with it, what did you envision combat would be like?

Can you tell me about the day you got your CIB/CAB/CMB?

After experiencing it, whether the first time or from case to case, how did combat compare with your first thoughts of what it would be?

Is there anything you experienced or learned in combat that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise?

What advice would you give someone knowing they’re about to have their first combat experience?

What were some of your positive experiences in-country?

In what ways do you feel you helped/made a positive difference while you were there?

If “no” to either of the last two questions, what do you think could have been changed in your mission, ROE’s, or anything that would have allowed you to either help people or make a positive difference?

How do you feel the ROE’s affect your combat effectiveness? Did you find them too restrictive or too loose? If so, how?

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Over multiple tours did you see ROE’s change from one tour to another? If so, in what way?

Imagine I know nothing about the army and just try and describe everything leading up to a mission, being on it and what it can contain, and then coming off mission

Did you have any rituals or “good luck” things you would do before a mission? After a mission?

What do people incorrectly imagine about being in a firefight or in combat?

If people freeze in their first firefight or want to stay behind cover do they always do that or do some get better at handling it as time goes on?

What was your opinion about your enemy? Did you ever think much about them? Has your view changed?

What were some of the things your unit was ordered to do or tasked with that didn’t work at all?

How was your experience with the locals in each tour?

Would you go back? - For how long? - For what reasons (fight ISIS, have a more clear purpose)?

Back home: What was the toughest thing about coming back home?

Were there any habits from your deployments that you found yourself doing once you were home?

What did you think of going back overseas after your first tour?

What did you do once you ETS’d from the army and how long had you had that plan?

What was the toughest part about separating from the army?

In what way does the army prepare soldiers or specifically infantrymen to deal with the outside world or does it?

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Is the outside world prepared well enough to receive these combat veterans? How or how not?

How do you think veterans are viewed in America?

Why do you think America views its veterans the way it does?

How does the future look for combat veterans leaving the military?

What things helped you get back to society and what things didn’t/don’t help you fit back in?

If you could go back and talk to yourself right before you enlisted, what advice would you give them?

Being older and more mature now, how do you view your motivations for joining?

Walking around in public, what can you see or hear that lets you know a person has served?

How do you normally think of other GWOT veterans? - Deployed combat arms - Non-deployed combat arms - All others

How do you think the media portrays veterans today and is it accurate?

How do you view the media when they report on GWOT veterans?

Is there anything other veterans do that give all of them a bad name?

How do you think people will view GWOT veterans in the future?

How do GWOT veterans compare to those of previous wars in your opinion?

If veterans have a higher opinion in the eye of the public, why do you think some still have such a tough time transitioning into society?

Do you think there’s a distinct culture unique to War on Terror vets? How would you describe it? Where would you go to talk to other people of similar experiences?

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Other than simply being in the military during the same war, what are some trademark experiences or features of a War on Terror vet?

What does the word “dysfunctional veteran” mean to you? What images does it conjure up?

Who are you most open to talking about your combat experiences with?

Have you ever talked about your experiences with someone else?

If you feel you have problems getting over the stress from combat what seems to help? Has it changed over time?

What do you think of people who haven’t served? What about if they give opinions regarding military matters?

What’s your opinion of the “tacticool civilian” or the “civilian sheepdog”?

What's the number one question that people ask you about your time in that you hate?

Assuming you’ve been asked this at least once and disliked it; why do you hate it when people asked if you’ve killed anyone?

In what ways did you anticipate serving your country? What was your motivation? - How do you feel actually do to serve your country?

In your opinion, how should the US be conducting its operations in Afghanistan/Iraq (depending on where they served) if anything (ending it, no more surges, all drones, escalating it)? Why?

On a scale of 1-10 how well would you say you are now reintegrated into society?

If you were to write a book about your experiences in the War on Terror, what story would you want to tell? What would you want the reader to take away from it?

Is there anything I asked about or didn’t ask about that you want to talk about or explain?

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