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FRANZ KAFKA Letters to Felice Edited by ERICH HELLER and JURGEN BORN Translated by JAMES STERN and ELISABETH DUCKWORTH SCHOCKEN BOOKS · NEW YORK Kafka's True Will: An Introductory Em Editors' Note Letters to Felice Felice Bauer Grete Bloch NOTES APPENDIX CHRONOLOGY INDEX First English edition 1973 Copyright © 1967, 1973 by Schocken Books Inc. Library of Congress Catalog Card No. 72-88262 Manufactured in the United States of America 58 FRANZ KAFKA LETTERS TO which is quietly developing into a much bigger story. How could I give it to Now, before I go to sleep (it is actu you to read, even if it were finished? It is rather illegible, and even if that weren't you must have misunderstood one of m an obstacle-up to now I certainly haven't spoiled you with beautiful writing­ I stayed on in the office and wrote fr< ! don't want to send you anything to read. I want to read it to you. Yes, that because it is so simple, I will whisper in would be lovely, to read this story to you, while I would have to hold your you so much, Felice, that if I can keep hand, for the story is a little frightening. It is called Metamorphosis, and it would only, it must be remembered, as a heal1 thoroughly scare you, you might not want to hear a word of it, for alas! I scare how it is, and you should know it, and you enough every day with my letters. Dearest, on this better writing paper let awareness of which leaves me with alm1 us start a better life. While writing that last sentence, I caught myself looking And this is why I would rather call you heavenward, as though you were up there. If only you weren't, which indeed darling. But since I want to relate as n you are, but down here with me in the depths. And don't deceive yourself, calling you dearest, and am happy to b they arc great depths, the more calmly we write to each other from now on­ may God grant us that at last-the more clearly you will see it. If only you will Su stay with me, in spite of it! Well, perhaps serenity and strength are destined to Two letters! Two letters! No Sunday < be where restlessness and weakness need them. dearest, since you have not only forgive I am too depressed at the moment, and perhaps I shouldn't be writing at all. shouldn't we, Felice, whatever happens, But my story's hero has also had a very bad time today, and yet it is only the out further trouble. I wish I were stron last lap of his misfortune, which is now becoming permanent. So how can I be again with my letters, as, alas, I was weal particularly cheerful! But if this letter serves as an example to you never to I almost think I could. But if I succeed, tear up a single scrap you have written to me, then it is, after all, a worthwhile knowledge of having you as a friend, a and important letter. But you mustn't think I am always so sad. I'm not. With you. one exception, I have no reason to complain too much; and everytlling, with But dearest, please, please don't ever, the exception of this one hopelessly black spot, could still turn out well, be that cost you your sleep with a mixture pleasant and, with your help, wonderful. On Sunday, if I have the time and sleep peacefully, as you deserve; I could ability, I want to pour it all out to you, and with your hands in your lap you still awake-above all on my account. can watch the great flood. But now, dearest, I'm off to bed. May you be given with greater courage, for then I imagine a pleasant Sunday, and I some of your thoughts. to my care, helpless in your healthy sle1 Franz working for you and for your good. Wi fail to progress ! So sleep, sleep, think ] daytime than I. Go to sleep tomorrow November 24, 1912 bed; if my wish is powerful enough, yo, [Begun during the night of November 23 to 24] going to bed, you may throw your supp: Dearest, once again I am putting aside this exceptionally repulsive story in order Well, no more late writing, leave writi to refresh myself by thinking of you. By now it is more than half finished, and chance to be proud of my nightwork, i1 on the whole I am not too dissatisfied; but it is infinitely repulsive, and these without it I should be too submissive, an1 things, you see, spring from the same heart in which you dwell and which you But wait a moment, to prove that nigl tolerate as a dwelling place. But don't be unhappy about it, for who knows, left to men, I'll go to the bookshelf (it's the more I write and the more I liberate myself, the cleaner and the worthier copy out for you a short Chinese poem. · of you I may become, but no doubt there is a great deal more to be got rid of, is making with his nephew!) : It is by 1 and the nights can never be long enough for this business which, incidentally, is whom I find the comment: "Very tal, highly voluptuous. career in the civil service. He was unc LETTERS TO FELICE I 9 I 2 59 Now, before I go to sleep (it is actually 3 A.M., usually I only work till 1; you must have misunderstood one of my last letters, I meant 3 in the afternoon; I stayed on in the office and wrote from there), because it is your wish and because it is so simple, I will whisper in your ear how much I love you. I love you so much, Felice, that if I can keep you I should want to live forever, but :I only, it must be remembered, as a healthy person and your equal. Well, that's e how it is, and you should know it, and indeed it is almost beyond kissing, the it awareness of which leaves me with almost nothing to do but stroke your hand. g And this is why I would rather call you Felice than dearest, and rather Du than d darling. But since I want to relate as many things as I can to you, I also like f, calling you dearest, and am happy to be able to call you anything. 11 Sunday [November 24, 1912], after lunch 0 Two letters! Two letters! No Sunday could live up to such a start! But now, dearest, since you have not only forgiven me but also see my point, we should, shouldn't we, Felice, whatever happens, remain calm and love each other with­ 1e out further trouble. I wish I were strong enough to make you lively and gay IC again with my letters, as, alas, I was weak enough to make you tired and tearful. !() I almost think I could. But if I succeed, it will be due entirely to the fortifying le knowledge of having you as a friend, and being able to rely on someone like th you. th But dearest, please, please don't ever again write at night; I read these letters that cost you your sleep with a mixture of joy and sorrow. Don't do it again; sleep peacefully, as you deserve; I couldn't work properly ifI knew you were still awake-above all on my account. But knowing you are asleep, I work with greater courage, for then I imagine that you have completely surrendered to my care, helpless in your healthy sleep, and in need of help, and that I am working for you and for your good. With these thoughts, how could my work fail to progress! So sleep, sleep, think how much more work you do in the daytime than I. Go to sleep tomorrow without fail, write no more letters in 12 bed; if my wish is powerful enough, you won't even do it today. Then, before 14] going to bed, you may throw your supply of aspirin tablets out of the window. kr Well, no more late writing, leave writing at night to me, give me this faint nd chance to be proud of my nightwork, it is the only pride I feel vis-a-vis you; ~se without it I should be too submissive, and surely you would not like that either. OU But wait a moment, to prove that nightwork everywhere, even in China, is rs, left to men, I'll go to the bookshelf (it's in the next room) to get a book and ier copy out for you a short Chinese poem. Well, here it is (what a noise my father of, is making with his nephew!): It is by the poet Yiian Tzu-tsai (1716-97), on ps whom I find the comment: "Very talented and precocious, had a brilliant career in the civil service.
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