Wounded Healer to Worthy Helper™
Personal and Professional Development for behavioral health staff, teams and programs
Maeve O’Neill, MEd, LCDC, LPC-S, CDWF www.maeveoneillcounseling.com 214-412-7869 [email protected] Our legacy as BH professionals
“You can’t take people professionally where you’re not willing to go personally” - Brene Brown Agenda Welcome and Intros Mindset-Language Behavioral Health professionals, teams, organizations • WAR-Willing, Able, Ready • HOW-Honest, Open, Willing • Culture-Talk, Trust, Feel The Daring Way™ CONCEPTS • Courage-Compassion-Connection • Show Up-Be Seen Live Brave • Guideposts to Wholehearted Living Rising Strong™ PROCESS • Reckoning • Rumble • Revolution BHForce-Behavioral Health workforce • Workplace Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted
-Brene Brown’s Rising Strong What would YOU do?
• Substance Use/Relapse • Sexual activity with clients • Sexual activity with staff • Sharing pornography • Possession of weapons • Destruction of property • Dishonesty, lying, stealing • Loved ones call about domestic violence concerns • Threats of harm to self and others • Name calling, disrespect, bullying, gossip William White “The Incestuous Workplace”
Individuals become casualties in distressed organizations: -self destruct in the face of excessive demands for adaptation Organizations have power to do harm: -to themselves, to their leaders, to those who work in them and to the public My Story, Your Story, Our Story BH Professionals
Willing
Able
Ready Adverse Childhood Experiences
Physical, emotional, sexual abuse Physical or emotional neglect Household mental illness Household substance use Incarcerated household member Domestic abuse Parental separation or divorce -University of Oxford's Department of Psychiatry Public Health Study You are loved and lovable Worthy of love and belonging Boundaries Rest and Play Accountability and Respect Joy and Gratitude Learn to be vulnerable Teach you to feel Laugh, sing, dance, create Always belong here Truly, deeply seeing you My Story, Your Story, Our Story BH Teams
Honest
Open
Willing Compassion Fatigue/Burnout Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure Authenticity Practice
BH Organizations
Talk
Trust
Feel How to Help
L – Listen O - Observe V - Validate E - Educate E - Empower
C - Consistency A - Accountability R - Respect E - Empathy E - Excitement 7C’s
Didn’t CAUSE it Can’t CURE it Can’t CONTROL it
Can take CARE of myself COMMUNICATE feelings Make healthy CHOICES By CELEBRATING myself, my job, my purpose SAMHSA’s Definition of Recovery Guiding Principles
The Daring Way-Dr. Brene Brown SHOW UP BE SEEN LIVE BRAVE DARING WAY CONCEPTS Permission Slips Gratitude Trust and the Marble Jar Arena Armory Shame Shields Values Identities and Triggers Open Heart ARENA ANTHEMS
“Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing; We are not alone”
~Brene Brown Mantras and Manifestos
MANIFESTO FOR HELPING PROFESSIONALS
• The values that guide me to show up and be seen are... • I stand for... • I am most curious about... • I am most passionate about... • I have the courage to... • I love... • In my heart of hearts, I... • I am on this planet to... • I will love myself by... • I will dare greatly by... COURAGE
• Asking for what you need • Speaking your truth • Owning your story • Setting boundaries • Reaching out for support COMPASSION EMPATHY & SELF-COMPASSION “We have to commit to practicing, screwing it up, and circling back.”
Attributes of Empathy Self-Compassion (Neff) (Wiseman) -Perspective Taking -Self-Kindness -Stay out of Judgment -Common Humanity -Recognize Emotion -Mindfulness -Communicate Emotion -Mindfulness CONNECTION DEFINITION OF SHAME
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Shame Resilience
• Recognizing Shame and Triggers
• Practicing Critical Awareness
• Reaching Out
• Speaking Shame ENGAGEMENT as HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS
Setting Boundaries
Clarifying Intentions
Finding True Comfort
Cultivating Spirit and Connection ASPIRATIONAL VALUES
Honesty and Integrity
Respect and Accountability
Gratitude and Respect
Setting Limits GUIDEPOSTS for WHOLEHEARTED LIVING
Authenticity - Let go of what people think Self-Compassion - Let go of perfectionism Resilient Spirit - Let go of numbing and powerlessness Gratitude and Joy - Let go of scarcity and fear of the dark Intuition and Trusting – Let go of need for certainty Creativity – Let go of comparison Play and Rest – Let go of exhaustion as status symbol Calm and Stillness – Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle Meaningful Work – Let go of self-doubt Laughter, Song and Dance – Let go of being in control WHOLEHEARTED for BH Staff
W – Worthy H – Humor O - Open L - Limits E – Expectations H - Helpful E – Enjoyment A - Authentic R - Resilience T - Traditions E - Emotions D - Deliberate BHForce- Behavioral Health workFORCE
Courageous Professionals
Compassionate Teams
Connected Organizations Brave and Brokenhearted
Reckon with EMOTIONS HEART
Rumble with THOUGHTS HEAD
Revolution is new BEHAVIOR HANDS BRAVING
Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault Integrity Non-Judgement Generosity BHForce- Behavioral Health workFORCE
Definition of FORCE: Strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement
JOIN THE MOVEMENT! CULTURE
The set of behaviors, values, artifacts, reward systems, and rituals that make up your organization. You can “feel” culture when you visit a company, because it is often evident in people’s behavior, enthusiasm, and the space itself Enviable Workplace Culture
1. People are waiting in line to join the team 2. Turnover is low 3. Top leaders are not insecure about other leaders succeeding 4. Gossip isn’t tolerated 5. Lateral leadership is outstanding 6. Team members are energized by the mission 7. It’s not just a job 8. The team believes they are more important than the task 9. People are smiling 10. Fear is missing 11. Communication is strong 12. Change is welcome Tim Stevens in Fast Company Workplace Health Scarcity – “Never _____ Enough” Comparison, Guilt, Humiliation & Embarrassment Rituals – Personal and Professional
PRACTICE - 4x a day -Wake Up -Leave Home/Get to work -Leave work/Get Home -Bedtime
WORKPLACE - DAILY
BHForce-Membership Behavioral Health workFORCE
For Individuals, Teams, Orgs • Coaching calls • Weekly email assignments • Daily inspirational quotes • Unlimited texts/email • Access to social media (Facebook/LinkedIn pages) Thanks for all you do! Delaney, Maeve and Aidan Resources
By Brene Brown: • Daring Greatly • The Gifts of Imperfection • I thought it was just me (but it isn’t) • Rising Strong
Additional Personal Development: • Super Soul Sunday on OWN channel • Paulo Coehlo-The Alchemist • don Miguel Ruiz-The Four Agreements