Essays by Gene Shelburne
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Essays by Gene Shelburne Volume 4 COVID19 Several months ago when we began putting together our first issues containing my virus columns, I predicted that after Volume 3 the virus pandemic would be history and, although we still had fifteen more columns in the hopper, we’d decide that enough was enough. Once again, I proved that we really are a non-prophet outfit. As we prepare this fourth volume of virus columns for publication, virus stats in the sunshine states are mushrooming, hospitals are overflowing, and Baptists can’t even buy a happy hour drink in Texas. (I’m counting on our loyal Baptist readers’ sense of humor.) Obviously, the challenges of COVID-19 are “Be still turning our lives upside down. More than ever we need to strong and trust in the Lord to get us through this disaster. —Gene Shelburne, Senior Editor take heart All you who hope in the Lord.” THE CHRISTIAN APPEAL (UPS 107-240) August 2020, Vol. 69, No. 2. Owned and published monthly by CHRISTIAN APPEAL PUBLISHERS, INC., 2310 Anna Street, Amarillo, Texas 79106. Senior editor, Gene Shelburne. Managing editor, Curtis Shelburne. Consulting editor, Psalm 31 David Langford. Subscriptions: Free, thanks to our donors, to all who request the magazine. Free monthly bundles to churches, Bible study groups, and ministries. Send all orders to Christian Appeal Publishers, Inc., 2310 Anna Street, Amarillo, Texas 79106. (Offer subject to issue and print-run availability.) Postmaster: Send address changes to 2310 * Anna Street, Amarillo, Texas 79106. Periodical postage paid at Amarillo, Texas. © 2020 by Christian Appeal Publishers, Inc. iStock.com/Victor Cap iStock.com/Victor COVER PHOTO: iStock.com/Alxney Pnferov PAGE 2 PHOTO: iStock.com/BlackJack3D VISIT OUR WEB SITE at www.christianappeal.com. CHRISTIAN APPEAL 3 COVID19 COVID19 Virus Humor Blessings in Disguise In the cacophony of moans and many Baptists do you know who cel- When I was a pre-school runt, a heap. During seven months in bed, groans and howls about the lifestyle ebrate Lent? Maybe that’s part of the nobody had ever heard of Ebola or my legs had lost the strength to stand disruptions caused by the virus, some humor intended. At least, they found SARS or HIV or COVID-19. The two up and I had forgotten how to walk. sensible folks among us are opting something to laugh about. scourges that terrified most Americans Although I was five years old, like a for a wiser way to deal with this tidal One stuck-at-home guy texted, back then—especially those who were baby I had to learn again how to crawl wave of frustrations. Instead of wailing “Found a lady sitting on my couch parents of young children—were polio and then how to toddle. or protesting, they’re laughing. yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. and rheumatic fever. On our middle- Soon I was able to stand upright For example, did you see the Face- She seems nice.” And lots of jokes, class block in Corpus Christi, Texas, again, but some of the damage of those book poster that proclaimed, “It’s like such as the fictitious offer of “corona- I was the second kid who came down suppine months (such as my curled being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m virus discounts” on flights to China, with rheumatic fever. toes) has never gone away. And in my grounded.” Maybe that one wouldn’t have been inspired by the disruption of I was too young at the time to know growing up years, every time I tried a be funny to you if you weren’t born in travel worldwide. all the ways my illness devastated my new sport or took on a physical job, I time to see gasoline selling for $1.30 a A website called Cartoon Collections parents, but I now can see that for them had to undergo medical exams to make gallon. Or if all your retirement funds has gathered almost a thousand pub- it had to be a frightening disaster, and it sure that I was not about to aggravate are invested in oil. lished cartoons with virus as their focus. hit them right when they were also hav- some residual heart damage caused by One fellow who has chosen to A lot of them drove home serious truths ing to adapt to all the social and eco- my earlier sickness. chuckle instead of whining about the with dark humor, but I laughed at the one nomic changes that rocked our nation Why am I dumping this now-ancient virus mess is named Michael Knight. that showed the four former Presidents during World War II. They never let saga on you? To tell you that few things This 29-year-old musician tells us, on Mt. Rushmore with virus masks. And me detect the anxiety that ravaged their in my life have blessed me more than “They said a mask and gloves were the cartoon of the guy locked in wooden souls because I was so sick. that early nightmare. In the years that fol- enough to go to the grocery store. They stocks with an “I Coughed in Public” My main memory of those troubled lowed, I reached for goals and strained lied. Everyone else had clothes on.” sign hanging around his neck beamed times was being bedfast for seven for excellence I might never have aspired During the coronavirus lockdown, me back to Williamsburg, Virginia, over months and being restricted to an experi- to if I had not been trying to prove that how many quips have you seen or two decades ago when two of our grand- mental diet prescribed by a naturopath my illness had not impaired me. Mom heard about TP? Or virus masks? Or kids were intimidated by the stocks in my parents somehow got connected with kept warning me to not to overdo, not social distancing? Or hand washing? that colonial village square. We laughed though he practiced in Christoval, hun- realizing that the specter of disability Or home schooling? Things we didn’t at them then, and now I did again when dreds of miles from our home. Did that ignited in me a need to try harder. joke about before the pandemic hit that virus cartoon reminded me of that diet help? Who knows? But, as we’re Let me predict that virus-inflicted us. Amazon is even marketing a book long-ago fun time. learning during the coronavirus plague, fears and wounds and changes may titled “101 Coronavirus Jokes: Laughing “Laughter relaxes our brains,” one people will try almost anything when actually turn out to be blessings in dis- Your Way Through Troubled Times.” psychologist insists as she advises us even the experts don’t know the answers. guise. They may force us to improve in At the peak of the epidemic, right to keep humor alive in our lives during One day that I’ll never forget is ways we never would have envisioned before Easter, a big-city Baptist these stressful days. “Always be joy- the one when my mother told me with in kinder times. “When troubles of any church up north posted this slogan ful,” the apostle Paul instructs us. That a smile, “You can get out of the bed kind come your way, consider it an on their front-yard sign: “HAD NOT excludes frowns and scowls and fur- today. And you can stay up for two opportunity,” James 1:16 instructs us. PLANNED ON GIVING UP QUITE rowed brows, doesn’t it? Even while hours.” Whoopee! I thought. But when Maybe the damage done by this virus THIS MUCH FOR LENT.” How the virus persists. CA my feet hit the floor, I crumpled into pandemic will teach us why. CA 4 CHRISTIAN APPEAL 5 COVID19 COVID19 “Do Not Be Afraid” Never Again the Same Just in case we didn’t have enough of medical anxieties. Add these to my It’s amazing, isn’t it, how totally past two centuries—has there ever been to worry about during this COVID-19 childhood education about copper- several weeks of virus shutdown have a time like right now when every student disaster, today’s news headlines a late- heads and rattlesnakes and scorpions changed the way we see a lot of things in the land is being schooled at home. breaking story about a beekeeper in and other critters common to our Texas and the way we do them. I’ve never been a fan of online education Spain. Somehow this fellow had man- world. Then top off all of this with a Take Sunday mornings, for at any level, but during these virus days, aged to escape his nation’s exception- decade of terror fed by daily Cold War instance. They had been the same that’s all there is, and it seems quite likely ally deadly coronavirus outbreak, only warnings that our world might end any almost every week for the 80-plus that because of this present shift, far more to be killed by a “murder hornet” that day in an atomic blast. years of my life. Then came the virus. education in the days to come will be stung him on his eyebrow. Just a few And that’s just the tip of the ice- Not having gathered with God’s people digital and off-campus. days ago authorities warned us that berg. As a kid, I sampled mumps and to sing hymns and pray prayers and Working at home also may become somebody imported these deadly giant measles and chicken pox and flu.