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Purchase a Nicer, Printable PDF of This Issue. Or Nicest of All, Subscribe to the Paper Version of the Annals of Improbable Mel says, “This is swell! But it’s not ideal—it’s a free, grainy PDF.” Attain your ideals! Purchase a nicer, printable PDF of this issue. Or nicest of all, subscribe to the paper version of the Annals of Improbable Research (six issues per year, delivered to your doorstep!). To purchase pretty PDFs, or to subscribe to splendid paper, go to http://www.improbable.com/magazine/ ANNALS OF Special Issue: MUMMIES, ZOMBIES & BAGELS Mummy Medicaments, Zombie Movie Statistics, New York Bagel Specs... 01> JANUARY|FEBRUARY 2009 (volume 15, number 1) $6.50 US|$9.50 CAN 027447088921 The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Annals of © 2009 Annals of Improbable Research Improbable Research ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online AIR, P.O. Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238, USA “Improbable Research” and “Ig” and the tumbled thinker logo are all reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off. 617-491-4437 FAX: 617-661-0927 www.improbable.com [email protected] EDITORIAL: [email protected] The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Co-founders Commutative Editor VP, Human Resources Circulation Director Marc Abrahams Stanley Eigen Robin Abrahams Katherine Meusey Alexander Kohn Northeastern U. Research Researchers Circulation (Counter-clockwise) Editor Associative Editor Kristine Danowski, Martin James Mahoney Marc Abrahams Mark Dionne Gardiner, Jessica Girard, Webmaster [email protected] Tom Gill, Mary Kroner, Dissociative Editor Julia Lunetta Wendy Mattson, Katherine Admin Rose Fox Meusey, Srinivasan Rajagopalan, General Factotum (web) Lisa Birk Contributing Editors Tom Roberts, Naomi Uesaka, Jesse Eppers European Bureau Otto Didact, Stephen Drew, Ernest Tom Ulrich Technical Eminence Grise Kees Moeliker, Bureau Chief Ersatz, Emil Filterbag, Karen Design and Art Dave Feldman Natuurhistorisch Museum Hopkin, Alice Kaswell, Nick Kim, Geri Sullivan/PROmote Rotterdam Richard Lederer, Katherine Lee, Art Director emerita Communications [email protected] Bissel Mango, Steve Nadis, Nan Peaco Todd Lois Malone/Rich & Famous Steve Farrar, Edinburgh Desk Chief Swift, Tenzing Terwilliger, Marina Graphics Webmaster emerita Erwin J.O. Kompanje Tsipis, Bertha Vanatian Amy Gorin Willem O. de Jongste “When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”—Sherlock Holmes “Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.”—Richard Feynman May We Recommend ItemsSome that merit New a trip Winners to the library compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff Glasses and Personality: A New View and conscientiousness. However, existing research “Myopia and Personality: The Genes in Myopia (GEM) on this question is flawed, and its findings are Personality Study” Robert van de Berg, Mohamed Dirani, inconsistent. The authors therefore aimed to Christine Y. Chen, Nicholas Haslam, and Paul N. Baird, determine whether myopia and personality are Investigative Ophthalmology and Visual Science, vol. 49, associated. The authors examined twins recruited March 2008, pp. 882–6. (Thanks to Kristine Danowski for through the Australian Twin Registry and a clinical- bringing this to our attention.) The authors report: based family sample through a proband from a Melbourne Excimer Laser Clinic.... A long-held view among the medical and broader community is that people who are The long-held view that myopic persons are introverted short-sighted (myopic persons) have distinctive and conscientious may reflect intelligence-related personality characteristics such as introversion stereotypes rather than real correlations. 2 | Annals of Improbable Research | January–February 2009 | vol. 15, no. 1 www.improbable.com Contents The features marked with a star (*) are based entirely on material taken straight from standard research (and other Official and Therefore Always Correct) literature. Many of the other articles are genuine, too, but we don’t know which ones. Special Section: Mummies, Zombies and Bagels 6 “What, Not How?”: The Case of Specifications of the New York Bagel*—Daniel M. Berry 11 Bagel Research Review*—Stephen Drew ® 13 Yummy Mummies for Good Health*—A.S. Kaswell 16 War and Social Upheaval Cause Spikes in Zombie Movie Production*—Annalee Newitz 20 Zombies and Inverse Zombies*—Alice W. Kaswell Improbable Research Reviews* On the Front Cover IFC May We Recommend*—Stephen Drew Thematic decoration or does Uncle Henry just want a bagel? 4 Improbable Research Review*—Dirk Manley Photo by Andrew Beierle. 5 Improbable Medical Review*—Bertha Vanatian 22 More Scientists Join Gangs*—Tenzing Terwilliger 24 Boys Will Be Boys*— Katherine Lee 26 Peer Review: Bits of Bat in the Sky* — Siegfried Peer On the Back Cover 28 Soft Is Hard*—Alice Shirrell Kaswell and A Buddha’s Hand citron (Citrus Bissell Mango medica var. sarcodactylus). Photo by Geri Sullivan. News & Notes 2 AIR Vents (letters from our readers) 8 Improbable Research Editorial Board 15 Teachers’ Guide 27 Puzzling Solutions—Emil Filterbag Coming Events 27 AIR books Ig Nobel Tour of the UK — March 6–15, 2009 29 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony: Save the Date 30 HMO-NO News: Therapeutic Humming! SciFest Africa, Grahamstown, Eastern Cape, South Africa — March 25–26, 2009 30 Back Issues Ig Nobel Tour of Denmark — April 23–25, 2009 32 CARTOON: “Carbon dioxide emissions control”— Cambridge — May 2, 2009 Nick Kim 32 Introducing Improbable TV Pittsburgh — May 4 & 6, 2009 IBC Unclassified Ads (see WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM for details of these and other events) www.improbable.com Annals of Improbable Research | January–February 2009 | vol. 15, no. 1 | 1 AIR Vents Exhalations from our readers NOTE: The opinions expressed Coca-Cola as a contraceptive a Nut.” Lange says he is the here represent the opinions is that that “misplaced bottle subject not just of one of the A Man of His of the authors and do not caps can cause serious medical stories in the book, but of all Words necessarily represent the problems.” Yikes. It made me of them. As the book itself There was a typographical error opinions of those who hold realize that Coca-Cola doesn’t explains, I changed the names in the sixth paragraph, ninth other opinions. provide just a douche, they also and circumstantial details in word in your version of my give you a diaphragm. Which every story, for obvious reasons. informative letter (AIR Vents Coca-Cola likely works about as well as Having been sued by a nut, I 14:7) about the book “Sued Contraceptive: the Coke douche. have no desire to be again sued By a Nut.” Please correct it or Julia Robins by that nut or by any other. I I shall be forced to take action Another View Menarchie, LA make it an ironclad rule not to that is appropriate. discuss the identity of the nuts Regarding Dr. Deborah D.R. Lange in the book. Therefore I will not Anderson and the other doctors More About Porphyry, Wales comment on Mr. Lange’s wild, who did the research that won the Suit Nut untruthful, entirely-concocted, the 2008 Ig Nobel prize in vile, illogical, irrational Of Shrews chemistry: I heard Dr. Anderson I am outraged by your allegations nor will I in any interviewed on the radio. She publication of D.R. Lange’s Thank you for publishing the other way address the ridiculous mentioned that one of many diatribe (AIR Vents 14:7) article “The Tasting of the assertion that he is the nut or a reasons people should not use against my book “Sued By Shrew” (AIR 14:5). We who nut in my book. love shrews salute you. L.I. Balaboramin G. Mortenson Acloque, Eastwont, NY N. Benson-Framm, and T. Drake Milt, UK Isaac Newton Stamp, Stamp, Stamp, Stamp Are you aware that the following countries/entities have issued stamps honoring Isaac Newton for his many achievements? Ajman, Ascension Islands, Benin , Britain, Bulgaria, Burundi, Central Maybe Mel, Pointedly African Republic, Guinea, Chad, Democratic Peoples Republic The famous Mel misidentification problem rears its head of Korea (North Korea), Djibouti Dubai, France, Germany, Ghana, again. Thank you for publishing my letter (AIR Vents 14:6) and Grenada, Guinea, Hungary, Laos, Malawi Maldive Islands, Mali, reproducing one of our new photographic treasures. The arrow Mongolia, Mozambique, Nevis, Nicaragua, Niger Paraguay, stamped on the original image, which I implied might be pointing People’s Republic of the Congo, Poland, Redonda, Republic of the to Mel, in fact is not. If, as we believe, Mel is in the crowd visible Congo, San Marino, Sierra Leone, Soviet Union, St. Vincent and in the photograph, he is more likely to be at the position indicated the Grenadines, Togo, Uganda, Uruguay, Viet Nam, Yemen. Here is in this corrected (by hand, by my assistant Vasillia) here. You may my favorite, from the Congo. I don’t know what achievement this publish this revised version, please. one honors. Lheal Chormnast Simon Montoya Testile TRPNOF Archives Collections Director Moldavia Philatelist Society of South America Chiclayo, Peru 2 | Annals of Improbable Research | January–February 2009 | vol. 15, no. 1 www.improbable.com More About Solvay’s Head I am writing on behalf of all the members of the Solvay Conference of 1911 Appreciators Club. We have just finished our annual gathering in the Metropole Hotel in Brussels, site of that historic conference. We find the photograph of Solvay’s head, defaced as it is and ever the subject of speculation as to whether the head and/or the body are indeed Solvay’s, to be historically distressing. Every Day Gimpelson’s rash letter (AIR Vents 14:6) suggesting you Read something Photoshop the head is more disturbing than you can new and improbable probably imagine unless every weekday on the you are an historian who specializes in the period. Improbable Research blog, Normand Vresse on our web site: Bruxelles, Belgium WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM Mouthblown in China, Further Considered When I wrote my letter (AIR Vents 14:6) about finding another example of glassware produced in China and marked “Mouthblown in China.” I was sorry I had not included it as part of my study (“Mouthblown in China,” AIR 13:7).
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