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The Haverfordian, Vols. 54-55, Nov. 1934-June 1936

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The Haverfordian, Vols. 54-55, Nov. 1934-June 1936 STACK THE LIBRARY OF HAVERFORD COLLEGE THE GIFT OF M 0.>J^ ^ gl't Accession No. S^ \ b^ (d^ HAVER FORD '. ^0722 PA msIQOL HAVERFQRD, Haberforbian The Fusser's Book .... Thomas D. Brown The Frasch Process . William S, Kinney, Jr, New Deal James Dailey Query of a Young Man . Samuel C Withers, Jr, The Liberator William. B, Kriebel Below Avignon .... George B. Bookman Reviews by James Hoover, William. H, Bond, John A, Lester, Jr., and J. R. Diehl. 1935 - — THE HAVERFORDIAN Phone: Newtown Square 42 DELAWARE COUNTY E. S. McCawley, RIDING ACADEMY Inc. West Chester Pike Haverford, Pa. Newtown Square This shop is haunted by the ghosts Of all great Literature, in hosts. Sleighing Parties - Barn Parties We sell no fakes or trashes Lovers of books are welcome here. No clerks will babble in your ear. — Samuel Gang Please smoke but don't drop ashes. Tailor for "Suits Pressed" Agency "HAUNTED BOOK SHOP"— For Service Call Ard. 4574 Christopher Morley THE CARD MART TYPING NOTARY schooij supplies Alice Caffrey Lanccister Avenue -Opposite Auto Car STREET Established 29 Years UNDER &, HAVERFORD PHARMACY PROPERT GOOD DRUGS OPTICIANS Best oF Service 20th and To Haverford Men Chestnut Streets Philadelphia Phone, Ardmore 122 THE HAVERFORDIAN Vol. LV HAVERFORD, PA., NOVEMBER, 1935 No. 1 The Haverfordian is published monthly during the college year. Its purpose is to foster a literary spirit among the undergraduates. To that end contributions are invited. Material should be submitted to the Editor before the fifth of the month preceding pubHcation. Entered as second-class matter March 19, 1921, at the post office at Haverford, Perm' sylvania, under the Act of March 3, 1879. Acceptance for mailing at special rate of postage provided for in section 1103, Act of October 3, 1917, authorized April 11, 1921. J. Wallace Van Cleave, Editor Business Manager Managing Editor Samuel S. McNeary James D. Hoover Review Editor Art Editor James A. Dailey, Jr. Donald W. Brous Associates Thomas D. Brown W. Lawrence Kimber Henry H. Freund, III William H. Reaves, Jr. William S. Kinney, Jr. William B. Kriebel Grijfon Francis E. Nulsen The Fu$$en Boob By THOMAS D. BROWN THE verb fuss is defined in my dictionary as meaning (v.i.) "to be unduly anxious about trifles" and (v.t.) "to disturb or annoy." But there is another meaning for the verb fuss, or at least there was when our fathers and mothers were in their youthful prime. Then our verb would have been generally defined as meaning "to be seen frequently in the company of young persons of the opposite sex." "Sparking" and ''2'sing" were, I beUeve, later equivalents. There is no modern synonym that expresses quite the same idea which the compact and eloquent "fuss" conveys. Perhaps it was derived from one of the old and established defini' tions quoted above from my dictionary. Perhaps, in the case of a young gentleman, the "trifles" he was "unduly anxious about" and those persons whom he was "to disturb or annoy" were young ladies. Whatever its origin, "fussing" had the distinction at the beginning of the present century of being the accepted slang for "keeping company," or whatever they call it now. One day recently while I was rummaging morbidly through an old trunk in the attic, I chanced upon a thin Httle book which, after a thorough cobwebbing and dusting discovered itself to be a Hst of forty important do's and don'ts for fussing entitled. The Fusser^s Boo}{. These rules were compiled by two ladies with the alHterative names Anna Archbald and Georgina Jones. The book was published in 1904 when the generation immediately preceding ours was in its heyday. Most of these rules would still be useful to present'day "fussers." A few are hopelessly antiquated. Here are some of them applying to the male fusser. Rule II Even if you were voted the handsomest man in your class, don't presume that a lady is "pinning roses on herself simply because you are monopolising all her calling hours. "Make good" with at least an occasional carfare or proffer of escort. Otherwise, at some psychological moment, you may find yourself taking a far-back seat in favor of a homelier but wiser man. (The automobile has largely done away with this difficulty. Rarely does the 1935 fusser sit in the parlor of the fussed a whole evening without "proffer of escort" somewhere, if only to drive out and "look at the moon." THE FUSSER'S BOOK Then, too, there are always the movies. But consider what our fathers were up against. You couldn't get anywhere worth going to in a buggy and the only reason for taking a girl for a ride in one was to get engaged to her. No wonder their "proffers" of escort were fewer. There is the added con' solation, in considering Rule II, that very few of us are ever voted the hand' somest man in our class.) Rule V Don't drop her like a hot coal the minute the music stops. Seem loath to let her go, and waltz a few extra steps if necessary. This is tremendously telling, and so easy! (This rule should be included in the ten commandments of dancing.) Rule VI Words are cheap. When introduced to a girl at a ball, even if you decide she won't do, at least remark: "May I have one later on?"—It makes for good feeling. (A rule of doubtful ethics.) Rule VII Do occasional penance; it is good for the soul. Make the saddest girl in the room feel that she is the most attractive while you are talking to her; or dance during an evening with at least one "ice-wagon." (Strong word, "ice'wagon.") Rule XI Respect her serious side (if she has one) and don't meet her fads with an amused, indulgent smile. She won't love you for that attitude of male superi' ority. It makes her feel that the real thing in you is lacking, and in spite of herself she loves the real thing. Rule XV Watch how the wind blows! On a boat place the straight'haired damsel with her face to the breeze. This keeps her stray locks in place. She knows they are unbecoming to her, and she can enjoy you more when not worrying about her looks. The girl with curls, however, rises superior to any wind that blows; and is aware of the fact. Rule XVI Make her care before you try to make her jealous. Rule XVII Remember always to "keep your eyes in the boat!" (Accompanied by a picture of a young couple sitting on the beach. The girl looks rather bored, as her escort gases amorously at a sweet young thing clad in one of the voluminous bathing suits of the period.) Rule XVIII Be graceful as well as useful. In diving under a table at the end of a dinner, THE HAVERFORDIAN for the purpose of corralling your partner's handkerchief, gloves, smelling salts and fan, don't mar your host's mahogany by a too violent impact with your skull. It may create some temporary amusement, but detracts on the whole from your reputation as an accomplished fusser. Rule XIX Don't assume that you are her only suitor. Imply rather by your general attitude that all mankind, of course, is ready to eat out of her hand. (It is sometimes a fact, whether you imply it or not.) Rule XXII When negotiating a difficult street corner don't grasp your fair companion by the crook of her shapely elbow and steer her in one direction if she shows any real inclination to set sail in another. The course of true love is never helped by such a crossing. (If, under present'day traffic conditions, you manfully thwart her inclination to "set sail" in another direction, you will probably have saved her life. "Difficult street corners" are very different from what they used to be. Disobey rule XXII even if the loss of true love is the price you have to pay.) Rule XXV Make up to the little sisters and all small girls. You may be able to lord it over them when you are twenty and they are only ten. But some day when they are twenty and you are thirty the tables will be turned—and they don't forget. (Cradle snatchers, please note.) Rule XXVII Beware of too long calls. Although it's true you've been brought up to believe that some girls think a beau in the parlor worth two in the hair, this maxim may not hold good after midnight. (Touching picture of two maidens wearily going upstairs to bed, with the hands of the clock, apparently, although you can't tell exactly, pointing to five minutes past twelve.) Rule XXVIII Be politic. When talking to one girl do not expatiate on the accomplish' ments of other "Pippins" and "Queens": it betrays the amateur hand. Rule XXIX Step carefully. Remember, when you put your foot through a lady's $250 gown, that her sweet smile upon you is all composed of heroism and that you are lucky if she is not inwardly cursing you. Learn to gaze earnestly into your partner's eyes, at the same time that you skillfully and delicately avoid the edge of the "creation" trailing just ahead of you. (Ten years ago this problem had ceased to exist, but now it is with us again as dresses have returned almost to their former length.) THE FUSSER'S BOOK Rule XXXIII Don't kiss your dollar good-bye before treating your best beloved.
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