E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1 THE EXISTENTIAL HUMANIST Celebrating Our Diversity of Existence and Being

Editors: Nader Shabahangi EHI RESIDENTIAL RETREAT and Sonja Saltman TRAINING MAY 2019

2 0 1 9 E X P E R I E N T I A L 6-day Annual Residential Immersion Training in T R A I N I N G D A T E S Existential-Humanistic at Beautiful Westerbeke Ranch in Sonoma, California. May 23rd, 2019 EHI, believing in the meaningfulness, intrinsic value and diversity of through life, teaches principles of existential-humanistic psychotherapy and May 28th, 2019 offers in-depth trainings in the practical application of those principles.

T H E M E S C O V E R E D I N The annual experiential residential is the core of EHI's training. It T R A I N I N G I N C L U D E : allows licensed professionals and graduate students in psychology or counseling programs to come together in a safe environment, get ● the here-and-now ● the inner search process to know one another, and experience how E-H therapy is practiced ● subjectivity and encounter up close and personally. ● the therapeutic relationship EHI Faculty emphasize the key ingredients of the E-H approach, These experientially including empathy, acceptance, and genuineness, to model how oriented courses teach trainees can create safe, collaborative and life-changing therapeutic existential-humanistic encounters. They demonstrate how the therapeutic relationship, in concepts of: resistance, and of itself is a vehicle for healing and change and how therapeutic meaning and alignment, existential spirituality, "presence" cultivates sensitivity and appropriate responsiveness to and integrative existential clients’ emotions, relational patterns and inner worlds. These two practice. essential principles: building the therapeutic relationship and working in the "here and now" are the foundational blocks of E-H www.ehinstitute.org therapy and EHI training. E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1

EMBRACING SUBJECTIVITY Wanting to be an By Bob Edelstein, L.M.F.T. Existentialist When she was 14, being an James F. T. Bugental, Ph. D., was termed the third force in served as the first president of psychology. This perspective Existentialist meant the of Humanistic included a focus on subjectivity watching French movies Psychology in 1962. He also as the main energy source and With actors so ugly they helped organize the Old guiding force in our lives. were beautiful, Saybrook Conference in 1964, a Subjectivity is the accessing of gathering of great minds which one’s inner life - including It meant cropping her hair helped clarify the vision of thoughts, feelings, bodily like a boy in the sensations, memories, images, And wearing her sweater United States. Among those hopes, fears, expectations, with the buttons present with Jim at this seminal anxieties, perceptions, etc. backwards, conference were his close Another focus is to translate friends, colleagues, and mentors one’s subjectivity through While quoting lines from – George Kelly, , expression and actualization Samual Beckett’s Waiting Abraham Maslow, and Carl into the outer, objective, for Godot. Rogers. physical world. This was based She walked on cobblestone upon the belief that we are streets of her small town, I interviewed Jim for the beings-in-the-world. February/March 2003 issue of barefoot, One way Jim facilitated his clients the AHP Perspective. He told me With the son of the General and students moving deeper into he most wanted to be who was going to get hell their subjectivity was through the remembered for “more inward searching process. This from his father legitimacy for the subjective life. Giggling like the naughty At a time when I was most entails paying attention moment productive, I was always trying by moment to the inner flow of children they were to storm the wall of consciousness moving through Drunk on their existential you. He emphasized that the psychological science.” power to choose present moment is the only true Trusting, believing the In 1964, when Jim and his reality we have. Each of our choice was theirs, however colleagues were convening at present moment realities are Old Saybrook, psychology uniquely ours. Jim encouraged us minute. emphasized the objectivity of to trust that in each moment we Existence. Pure. science and the physical world. would be pulled towards the In training therapists the direction that is right for each of ~ Sonja Saltman emphasis was on behaviorism us. And there is always something and environmental more, as one moment leads to interventions. There was a Bob is in private practice and another with a new set of founder/president minimization or even dismissal awarenesses. of Existential-Humanistic of one’s subjective life. Jim and NorthWest a professional his colleagues emphasized and organization advocating popularized humanistic Or as Jim liked to say, “And now… existential-humanistic values psychology, which And now… And now..." and philosophy.

Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 2 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1

THE COARSENING (AND HOPE) OF THE AMERICAN MIND By Kirk Schneider, Ph.D.

[Author’s Note: This article is the machine model for living. state of affairs: One, our adapted from an article by the This model emphasized citizenry will devolve into same title published at efficiency (or what many called drone-like functionaries, Tikkun.org. An expanded version efficiency): speed, instant programmed for elemental of this article can be found on my Psychology Today results, appearance and self-interest or two, we will (psychologytoday.com) blog called packaging; and it lured millions confront the moral crisis of “Awakening to Awe”.] to the marketplace--or killing our time--the quick fix instant fields. Babies being wrenched from results society--and engage parents, racist epithets flung at our abilities to be more fully The result however was countries south and east of us, present, both to ourselves and anything but “efficient” in the alarming levels of civil and those about us. In my view, larger sense. We created political discord--this is our such engagement would be country in the summer of convenience, ease, and an most welcome, but it would be 2018. There are also positive unprecedented sense of no panacea. By contrast it will developments to be sure, but personal power, to be sure. But be a rebuilding project- can anyone say how they will the advances were largely -“brick-by-brick“--that will endure? external--relegated to what we nudge us toward recognition of wore, how fast we drove, how While many of us are wringing quickly we ate, how many profit each other as complex human our hands asking ourselves margins we met, how many beings; persons with painful “how in the world we got gadgets we owned; our interior differences but also ennobling here?” Perhaps the more life, however, our capacity to commonalities. accurate question is “Why, given our mercantile- feel and reflect and materialist past, shouldn’t we communicate was left bereft. While there are many paths to have gotten here?” In his 1978 the latter and more hopeful book The Illusion of The result is that, today, too alternative of engagement, the Technique, public philosopher many of us have become grass roots phenomenon William Barrett forewarned of calculative and consumerist known as dialogue groups is the damage being done giants but emotional and exciting particular interest. through our overreliance on imaginative dwarfs, steely and things-rather than people--to impenetrable, but bereft of staunch our moral Consider, for example, the nuance, attunement, and depth; predicaments; and we should group that was featured in a and this is precisely our have paid more attention. February 16th, 2018 article by quagmire at this crossroad of New York Times columnist our history. From my Today we are stained with the David Brooks called the “Better standpoint as a psychologist, legacy of all those who fell -- Angels.” wittingly and unwittingly -- there are two likely outcomes under the spell of things; issuing from this alarming Continued...

Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 3 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1

THE COARSENING (AND HOPE) OF THE AMERICAN MIND CONTINUED

Better Angels, comprised of Or to put it more broadly, it like Better Angels (such as the ordinary and concerned could shift voters from what I Nonviolent Communications citizens, is bringing liberals have called a “polarized mind” networks, Bridge Alliance, and and conservatives together for or fixation on a single point of Experiential Democracy forums); “living room” dialogues view to the utter exclusion of many more encounters with throughout the U.S. competing points of view, to a living persons as opposed to the more flexible, adaptive stick-figures portrayed in media These in-depth potentially mentality. This mentality, as or at political rallies. In short, we social theorists from Eric bridge building conversations will need a larger vision, not only are gathering momentum. Fromm to Jeremy Rifkin and of our country, but of life itself; a According to a CBS News Jonathan Haidt have vision that jars us out of our report of March 26, 2018, over contended, both acknowledges comfort zones and opens us to a thousand people had taken differences but also upholds the wonder, adventure, and part in Better Angels’ human dignity; it promotes indeed awe of coexisting with workshops across 31 states, empathy, discovery but not at diverse lives. and almost 150 towns and the cost of human cities will be launching individuality. workshops this year. USA Kirk J. Schneider is current Today has estimated that as of How then do we actualize this president of EHI and a member June 26, 2018 Better Angels had mentality? We will need many of Better Angels. He is also the 3100 dues-paying members, more living-room style author of The Polarized and philanthropic dialogues promoted by groups Mind and The Spirituality of Awe. organizations from the left- leaning William and Flora Hewlett Corporation to the right-tending Koch Corporation are supporting its cause.

This is a remarkable development that resonates with our democratic tradition of tolerance for and discovery of the “other;” and it has the potential to reshape voting patterns. Indeed if the movement becomes large enough and enough voters see its logic, it could ignal a new In this age of behavioral protocols and managed care, EHI offers centrism in our country that therapeutic providers opportunity to engage in hands-on training and prods voters from a fear-based learn an effective therapeutic perspective grounded in existential, sectarianism to a more experiential and relational theories. discernment-based ecumenism.

Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 4 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1 A TASTE OF EHI’S ANNUAL EXPERIENTIAL TRAINING By Troy Piwowarski, Psy.D.

When friends, colleagues, and Cosmologically, we all are family members hear that I’m subject to “existential givens”: an Existential Therapist, I That we are alive, that we all often get blank looks that must die, that we are both free seem to say “what the hell is and limited, that we share that, exactly?” To be honest, I responsibility for our own struggle to find a brief answer, lives, and that life is partly because so much of inherently ambiguous in what I do as a therapist and as regard to meaning, so we must a teacher is experiential, not find or make meaning for just words or philosophy. ourselves.

So, I’ve decided to share a If we face our life-limiting small taste of our 5-night/6- patterns (including our existential givens) and if we day residential annual The intensive retreat is the heart of trainings and what we’re all work to integrate them, we EHI's programs. Participants gain about. Read on! experience more fulfillment, hands-on training with faculty; joy, satisfaction, and a greater immersing themselves in existential- humanistiic therapy perspective. range of possibilities in our What is Existential lives. Facing our life-limiting Therapy? patterns requires more than talking or even insight—it The Relational Foundation How shall we live? How are we requires the client to have of Existential-Humanistic living right now? What truly deeper contact with ways they Therapy matters, and how do we go are constricting their lives, about attaining what is and integrate parts of self that As Irv Yalom succinctly puts meaningful in our lives? These have been disowned. it, “it’s the relationship that are the primary questions that heals. E-H therapists strive drive the Existential- Because this kind of contact is for connectedness with their Humanistic therapist’s often threatening to our sense clients and so pay close engagement. E-H therapy is, of comfort and identity, we attention to what’s happening at its foundation, experiential provide our clients someone relationally in the therapeutic and relational. who is willing to accompany encounter. It is an attitude them in as authentic and of “I am with you and I am for As human beings, we are “all in relational way possible. We you.” This implicit message of the same boat,” existentially- often invoke The Divine connection, safety and speaking. We all long for Comedy, wherein Dante must intimacy sets the stage for the freedom from limitations, and walk through hell, but makes it work to be done. we all grapple to some degree through because of his with our limitedness. companion Virgil. Continued...

Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 5 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1

A TASTE OF EHI’S ANNUAL EXPERIENTIAL TRAINING CONTINUED....

The relational space is an patterns of client and therapist, environment with unconditional and the degree to which they can Annual acceptance. This allows successfully navigate and work shameful, guilty and disowned through disowned patterns Experiential feelings that have never seen together. the light of day to be Training acknowledged, explored and The Experiential worked through. New narratives Existential-Humanistic Foundation of E-H about self, others and the world Retreats are constructed. In order to Therapy cultivate this space, we find 6-days in May The experiential foundation ways to communicate a different www.ehinstitute.org of E-H Therapy emphasizes: power dynamic that is less [email protected] hierarchical and more of an +1 415-689-1475 a) the “here-and-now,” i.e., what equal playing field. A dynamic in is most alive in the moment, which therapist and client are

How EHI trains collaborators or “fellow b) an expansion of client’s travelers.” primary experiencing and an therapists in Relational exploration of client’s secondary and Experiential A relational focus also directs experiencing, i.e., meanings made, Principles of E-H our client to the relationship as and it is unfolding in the here and Students often do a combination of now. c) a focus on the client’s unique personal and clinical reflection personal and relational processes throughout the training. We Thus, the healing potential of (ways of being) over and above a create space for intensive work, contemplation, and play the therapeutic relationship is focus on the “story,” i.e., the throughout the week. Students determined by the relational content presented. leave the training having an inside- out experience of the power of embodied existential psychotherapy and a deeper sense of what they as clinicians bring to the table.

If you have any questions about E- H Therapy or would like to find out more about EHI’s training offerings, please contact me at [email protected].

Troy is EHI’s Clinical Director. He is a depth-oriented psychotherapist in private practice, an author, teacher, Westerbeke Ranch, 2018. and is co-founder of the Bay Area men’s group, In Real Life.

Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 6 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1 OUR HOME: THE EXISTENTIAL-HUMANISTIC INSTITUTE By Nader Shabahangi, Ph.D.

The forward march of bio- Treating a broken leg, a ruptured legacy to show us therapists how psychiatry and neuro-psychology appendix or a blocked artery is not we can help clients search for their continue as do the many behavioral comparable to caring for the particular meaning. This meaning and cognitively based approaches human mind and psyche. Yet, was obtained not as much through to the care of the human mainstream academic psychology the intellect, through psyche. As studies have shown, and psychiatry continue to not see interpretation, but through each of these approaches provides this difference and regard the truly awareness of the lived experience some benefit for the person unfathomable dimensions of the in the moment, with therapist and client in the room. Jim gave us seeking help. However, today we human mind like some clock or many ways for following clients’ find that the biological, neuro- and computer-like machine that can be processes and for facilitating their bio-psychiatric view of manipulated, adjusted, repaired inner searching and knowing. He understanding and working with a and/or reprogrammed. believed that only in as far as we human being in distress, is therapists helped clients stay in increasingly dominating our In contrast to this dominant view their subjective selves were we any mindset. Rather than being a In contrast to this dominant view true help to them, were we supplement to care, medication has that is based, so I believe, on a allowing life-changing therapy to often become the first line of fundamental misunderstanding of occur. For him the way we could treatment. the essential nature of the human help our clients to Wake Up, so Jim being, stands an existential- poignantly wrote, was by not The forward march of bio- humanistic attitude and approach. objectifying human beings: psychiatry and neuro-psychology This view holds that life has continue as do the many behavioral meaning, that any psychic distress “Objectification of human beings is and cognitively based approaches or disturbance that befalls us (the the insanity that is the toxic to the care of the human root meaning of the word pollution in the sea in which we psyche. As studies have shown, symptom is ‘to befall’) has meaning swim, the world in which we try to each of these approaches provides and wants to be understood. Thus, live. We have been hypnotized some benefit for the person from an existential point of view from our earliest years to believe that it must be so. I want to say seeking help. However, today we symptoms have meaning, they that which we learn not to say. I find that the biological, neuro- and serve an important role for the so want to stand outside the universal bio-psychiatric view of affected individual. Not to post-hypnotic suggestion, and understanding and working with a understand the meaning of a shout: ‘Wake Up!’” symptom means, in the words of human being in distress, is increasingly dominating our the German poet Rilke, to ‘waste It is our continued hope at EHI mindset. Rather than being a our suffering’. We forgo our ability that we will help train and teach supplement to care, medication has to understand more about the tools as well as attitudes that will often become the first line of depth of life and living, forgo our ‘stand up for our subjectivity by treatment. ability to become more aware. countering the toxic pollution of the objectification of human The challenge of this approach Our ability to become more aware beings.’ Please join us. resides in the oversimplified way can only be helped, so we the human being is perceived. In existentially oriented therapists this approach principles are applied believe, if we do not pathologize Nader is EHI Vice President, a that might be valid for inanimate our symptoms but appreciate them Processwork therapist, a and non-human objects but not for through unfolding their purpose in humanistic care advocate, trainer the complex and truly mysterious an individual’s life. Among others, and coach. He is founder and CEO workings of the human psyche. it was especially Jim Bugental’s of AgeSong and Eldership Academy. Existential-Humanstic Institute • www.ehinstitute.org • +1 415-689-1475 • [email protected] 7 E X I S T E N T I A L - H U M A N I S T I C I N S T I T U T E N E W S L E T T E R 2 0 1 9 V O L . 2 2 . 1

EHI Faculty from left to right: Troy Piwowarski, Sonja Saltman, Doug Silberstein, Doug Silberstein, Nader Shabahangi, and Kirk Schneider. It is our goal to provide students and professionals interested in a humanistic, existentially informed attitude to helping our clients, a home where they feel supported for their non-mechanistic, more complex and validating approach to psychotherapy. THE EXISTENTIAL-HUMANISTIC INSTITUTE EHI offers courses in the principles of CONTACT US existential-humanistic practice, existential- humanistic theory and practice. Most of EHI's If you have questions about EHI, instructors have studied extensively with such the Existential -Humanistic masters as James Bugental, Irvin Yalom and Rollo education offerings or the E-H May, and are, like Kirk Schneider, acknowledged training programs please contact leaders within the existential-humanistic us. We would like to connect movement today. with you!

E: [email protected] The institute, via its curriculum, website and W: www.ehinstitute.org newsletter, supports existentially & P: +1 415.689.1475 humanistically oriented psychotherapists T: www.twitter.com/ehinstitute throughout the world. F: www.facebook.com/ehinstitute Our Vision

EHI, believing in the meaningfulness and intrinsic value and diversity of life, teaches principles of existential-humanistic psychotherapy and offers in-depth trainings in the practical application of those principles.