01 Lucky This is a story about a girl named Tori

Early morning, she wakes up Don’t make her scratch on your door It’s time for makeup, perfect smile She’ll never gain weight from a doughnut hole

They go "Isn’t she lovely, this Cornwall girl?" And they say

She’s so lucky, she’s an MILF But she cut-cut-cuts her veins in her lonely room, thinking Should I choose the shower or the bath And why do these tears come at night?

Lost in an image, in a dream But there’s no one picking up the phone Got to stop spinning, and she keeps whining But tell me what happens when it stops 02 Turn My Big Wheel One More Time Oh, baby, baby, I’ve been on the other side And got my lips all smacked there Oh, baby, baby, now they’re all dry, oh-oh You think I’m your possession

Show me the Southern girl you mess with Call me, baby, ’cause my recipe’s on, oh, because –

My loneliness is killing me (M I) I must confess, I still believe (L F) When I’m not with you I lose my cash Gimme a 9 (7 6 5 4), turn this whiskey into rain*

Oh, baby, baby, I really don’t need your cash So maybe your big wheel will Oh, pretty baby, the big wheel will turn my fantasy That’s not the way I planned it

Oh, baby, baby, I’ve been on my, my knees Oh, pretty baby, but you’re so hard to please

I must confess (don’t you forget) that I’m em-eye-lef (’Tis killing) ’Tis killing me now (I must confess) Don’t you know (off your cross) I still believe That you’ll somehow rise (we need the wood) And be a superstar

Turn my big wheel one more time

___ * Pronounced like ‘rhine’. 03 I Was Born In Big Umbrellas (Off my cloud ... my cloud)

I’m bouncing here alone off of a cloud Thinking ’bout the gaps that we skipped – two! (Lost, and found?) I’m looking at a picture in my head Trying my best to understand I really want to know where you fell off So that I could join you so

If only you were here tonight I know that we could bounce all right

I don’t know how to bounce without your love (take it easy in metal ivy) ’Cause you’re the only one within my heart (that is painted minty ice cream) Always and for ever, you and me That’s the way our life should be (I don’t know how to bounce without your love) We were bouncing up and down here

I know I’ve been a fool since you fell off I’d better give it up and carry on (off my cloud) ’Cause living in a dream of you and me Is not the way my life should be I don’t want to cry a tear for you Don’t forgive me if I do

I’d do anything, I’d stare at the sky I’d wait for ever, till that brings you Just let us decide where we take our lives Just to show fate how much we care

(I was born in big umbrellas) 04 Teenage Teenaged, I’m so into you You got that something, what do I know? Teenaged, you flip me around The bed is moving, but I can’t feel the ground

Every time you see me, you You better know how much, eh, you do

Loving you means so much more More than anything I ever felt before

You drive me crazy I just can’t sleep I’m so excited, I’m in too deep Oh-oh-oh, teenage – but it feels all right Working since the day I was fourteen all night

Tell me you’re so into me That I’m the only dirty girl that you see Tell me I’m not such a joke That I don’t hustle, like five secs ago

Teenage – this will save me From all your dirty dea-dealings Teenage – but it feels all right Every day and every night 05 Oops! I’ve experienced, babe I think I pushed you away I made you believe I have experience. Oh, babe I could learn how to love But it doesn’t mean That I’m serious

’Cause to lose all my senses That is just so typically me, oh, baby, baby

Oops! I’ve experienced, babe I played with babes’ heart Does it push you away?

Oh, baby, baby, oops! You think I’m in love That I’m sent from above I’m not that innocent

You see, my problem is this It wouldn’t take much To show me, but I can teach your Your girlfriend some things That she’s too stupid To just even know (they said, ‘no’)

(‘All aboard!’) ‘Tori, before you go, there’s something you’d want Cher to have.’ ‘Oh, it’s very good! But wait a minute, hasn’t it...?’ ‘Yeah, yes, it’s been turned down!’ ‘But I thought that old lady ripped it up in the end?’ ‘Well, baby, I figured what it goes like, for you.’ ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have!’ American Superstar Posse was created by praised musician Britney Spears to address pressing issues in contemporary American society – most importantly, the deterioration in her account balance. Co-operating with -singer (‘’), who has agreed to contribute and assist with lyrics in order to avoid her own (financial, sadly) Great Depression, Spears has brought from under her hands yet another masterpiece – lyrically as well as musically.

From the press: ~ ‘Jee, what an MILF I am!’ Tori Amos, songwriter-singer

~ ‘not bad’ Dr Cedar Torch, senior music theoretician

~ ‘Still, .’ Gregory Lucias, letterwriter

~ ‘Do remember to sanitise the blade before slitting.’ Pele Boysfor, Chief Medical Officer

© 2007, Starfucker Productions