THE NIPPLE THAT CAUSED a RIPPLE Prudish Americans Shouldn’T Censor Their Sexuality by MICHAEL PATTERSON SEEING the Repeated Clips of Surrounding the Super Bowl Stunt
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The Undergraduate Magazine Published Independently at the University of Pennsylvania FirstCall Vol. IV, No. 11 | February 16, 2004 Better Than the TV GUIDE Music With a Message Happy F-ing Birthday High Fidelity Rob’s “Must See” TV!!! Catch this week’s Sound Advice lyri- The nostalgia and disappointment of Etan Rosenbloom’s underworld of Page8 cal tribute Page 2 My Day. Page 6 music collecting. Page 3 THE NIPPLE THAT CAUSED A RIPPLE Prudish Americans Shouldn’t Censor Their Sexuality BY MICHAEL PATTERSON SEEING THE repeated clips of surrounding the Super Bowl stunt. crude yet harmless stunt. To top makes me cringe with disgust as fear of sex. Seeing Janet Jackson Janet Jackson getting felt up by The way the news media goes on it off, the FCC is now proposing all my favorite shows use each of getting it on with Timberlake, and Justin Timberlake, I had a similar about it, you would think that Janet to increase the fines for these acts the “profane” words in nearly every P. Diddy feeling himself up while sensation to what many Americans and Justin performed some lewd of “indecency” ten-fold from what sentence. I am sure all of the mil- singing makes many people feel experienced—mild arousal fol- and steamy sex act for the world they are now, up to 750,000 dollars lions of Americans who watch The uncomfortable. This personal dis- lowed by wicked fantasies of being to see. But they didn’t. Janet Jack- each. Yet even before the Janet-Jus- Sopranos feel exactly the same. comfort people have with regard in Janet Jackson’s place. Yet, for a son flashed a breast with an exotic tin controversy, the “Clean Airwaves The fact of the matter is that to their own sexuality, and not any quite vocal minority of people, the nipple-cover shining out like a bea- Act” was introduced to Congress in Americans do watch program- substantive harm that results from actions of Janet and Justin were con to the stadium and through our December 2003. This act actually ming with lewd language, graphic the images, causes much of the pro- outrageous, obscene... even evil. televisions. Was this a little over the would make it a crime to broadcast violence and gratuitous sex. I think tests against sexuality on television. When Justin got it on with Janet’s top? Was this a bit distasteful and profane language, including the the real reason Americans are com- In fact, if it had been a person naked right breast, America’s jaw crass considering the nature of the words “shit, piss, fuck, cunt, ass- plaining about the Super Bowl half- up on stage with Justin who is not dropped in shock. programs? Perhaps. hole” and the phrases “cocksucker, time show has nothing to do with commonly thought of as a sexual America, it’s time to close your Yet many sections of the gov- mother fucker, ass hole.” This is such a broad and non-specific ac- persona, I would place money damn mouth already. ernment, such as the FCC and the offensive material, right? I feel cusation of “indecency,” but rather on the likelihood of a much less I have grown increasingly weary House and Senate, are acting to near faint from shock seeing those with the sexuality exuded by Janet extreme response to the breast- of turning on the news every day to crucify not only Janet and Justin, words. In fact, watching HBO and Justin. It seems Americans in flashing. hear more about the controversy but CBS, Viacom and MTV for this for an hour in the evening nearly general have a completely irrational Continued on Page 5 BLUE BRIDGE Confessions of a Campus Cupid Tips on Picking Up Chicks BY BRIAN HERTLER WE SINGLE people can get cranky around Valentine’s Day, but don’t tell me there’s no romance on this campus. The following is a true story—not fiction, not humor—dedicated to those depressed over a dry love life. Last Tuesday night, I was sitting in the rooftop lounge of High Rise South, scribbling in my notebook and eating a hot roast beef sandwich from Greek Lady. The sandwich was seriously good but also seriously messy, and barbecue sauce was dripping onto my aluminum foil and running down my chin. Across the way sat a beautiful red-haired girl who struck my fancy. She was reading a book in front of the big rooftop window, with her feet propped up on the radiator. I knew she wasn’t my type, since the book was a Margaret Atwood novel, but my view of her made the sandwich a little more pleasant. A young man got off the elevator—I’ll call him Prince Charming. He was carrying books and had apparently come to study, but when he saw the girl—I’ll call her Snow White—his objectives shifted im- mediately. He put his books down on a table near mine and walked towards her slowly. If you enjoy eavesdropping, like I do, you know it’s sometimes pain- BORIS SHOCHAT ful to watch a guy being suave. I didn’t want to see Prince Charming get shot down—not only because the scene would be embarrassing, but also because he resembled me in appearance and I felt a kind of vicari- ous connection. Like Fine Wine He approached Snow White fearlessly, however, and stood next to The Wondrous World of Poetry Readings her in front of the rooftop window. When she looked at him, he said, BY MICKEY JOU “It feels good to be on top, doesn’t it?” I winced. An ugly pickup. I gave him a few points for cleverness, IT WAS at my poetry professor’s beckoning that I made a moving poetry reading experience—my first poetry since the line was certainly appropriate to the setting, but Snow White it to Kelly Writers House on a night the temperature of reading, in fact—my attempt to speak with the poet was less forgiving. She mumbled something and went back to her book, a chilled bottle of wine. The atmosphere was equally himself was met with a rather brusque end. Hopes of and Prince Charming got the message and came back to his table. intoxicating—or at least it promised to be. There will profound exchanges with the writers and poets of the I had just finished my sandwich, so, after wiping my hands and be stuff there that you will like, my professor promised Penn community crushed yet again by my own social mouth on a napkin, I leaned over and got Prince Charming’s attention. with his usual warm, inviting personality. If only my clumsiness. “Hey,” I said, “that was pretty brave.” first experiences with the Kelly Writers House were of It is thus, with a skeptical mind, I came to hear A.V. “Thanks,” he replied. He didn’t look very distraught, so I guessed he the same warmth and invitation. Christie and Eamon Grennan relate stories on a calm didn’t have a problem approaching girls. He probably got turned down Not that I’m bashing Kelly Writers House—for Wednesday evening. Was it crowded or intimate? The all the time. “Maybe she already has a boyfriend.” one thing, I’m well-aware that any animosity on my room was full of people, all eagerly anticipating the “Actually,” I said, “the problem was your technique. You have to part could very well be the result of the sour grape two hours of good poetry reading they’d been prom- consider the audience. The kind of girl who sits in a study lounge and syndrome. Writers tend to have fragile egos. At least, ised. I sat by Billie Holiday, singing the blues through reads feminist authors isn’t the kind of girl who’ll buy into a sexually- in the very first month of my freshman year at Penn, I an enormous loud speaker. As it turns out, sitting next charged pickup line.” had a fragile ego that was crushed and strewn all over to the speaker is not at all the trial I expected it to be. Let me remind the reader that I’m writing these events from mem- the floor of a crowded open-mic night, overwhelmed It was rather, well, poetic—every breath the poets try ory, and that they happened several days ago. by the talented spoken words of artists and quiet to sneak between line breaks, the sound of lips pressing Prince Charming looked at the book in her hands, then scooted poets with powerful voices. My sense of despair was together and then parting, the swallow of cool water, over and took a seat closer to me. “Maybe I can use her character to distinct—I knew I hadn’t half the talent of the people the lingering vowels and consonants at the tips of the my advantage,” he said. “I can admit to her that I was being a testos- who stood up there at the sacred microphone. Later tongue—all of it, the poet’s process of producing his or terone-driven male animal—that is, play into her stereotype—and then on, I realized with not-as-wide eyes, it was experience her voice, was magnified. An intimate study, like draw- I lacked and not necessarily talent. My second Kelly ing someone’s shadow against a white wall to learn the Continued on Page 7 Writers House event was no less disappointing: after Continued on Page 4 PAGE 2 FEBRUARY 16, 2004 | FIRST CALL | VOL.