ISSUE 90 - MAY 2009 HEALTH WARNING: This magazine contains comments that may disturb the bar
Tickets cost £15 each and can be bought through Fraser Geddes at Wilberforce Chambers. His contact details are Tel: 020 7304 2850 or Email [email protected] PAGE 4 PAGE 12 PAGE 15 PAGE 22 Please send cheques made payable to "Legal Charities Garden Party" c/o Politics Ted & Alice Matrix Jobs Rich List Fraser at DX: 311 London/Chancery Lane together with your contact information. Circulated FREE to Barristers’ Clerks in the United Kingdom WWW.CLERKSROOM.COM/MAGAZINE EDITOR’S PAGE
So what is it with the desire to “tell it how it is” columns that are all the rage these days? If it is not blogs galore, which is how Baby Barista started out, then it is “William Byflield” writing in Counsel Magazine. And now we have our own “Views of the Fantasy Bar” which sees life from counsel’s perspective, as opposed to the more down to earth offerings of Ted & Alice. Where will it all end?
So whatever happened to the new contract with solicitors on fees to replace the discredited withdrawal of credit scheme? The answer according to Bar News is coming in the Spring of 2010. The new Contractual Terms of Work Bob Moss are to be introduced then.
ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES TO: There are still some issues to be resolved, including the final wording. My [email protected] guess is that could lead to indefinite delay as all lawyers given the responsibility of finalising words always come back with further alterations EDITORIAL ENQUIRIES TO: every time they look at text. The only time some of the top brains stop is [email protected] when you tell them they have gone past the deadline. But then most clerks know that already! This edition of the Clerksroom Magazine has been kindly supported by the following companies: Even worse, it is not down to one lawyer on each side. Oh no, the Bar has a whole committee [the Implementation Committee] working on these issues. There is more chance of seeing the end of the London Olympics! Advantage Office Supply Systems Ltd Unit 10, Poole Hall Industrial Estate, Ellesmere Port, Cheshire CH66 1ST. A delegate at the annual APIL conference recently told the assembled T: 0151 357 3500 audience that solicitors were so dreadful [he used a 4 letter word ending F: 0151 356 3459 with a “p”] at marketing they needed claims management companies E: [email protected] [CMCs] to do it for them. CMCs were the front end for lawyers in the PI market and so solicitors should pay up the referral fees as they were then Corner House Design & Print Ltd guaranteed work. The Old Chapel, Manchester Road, Carrington Village, At the end of the debate the solicitors once again overwhelmingly supported Manchester M31 4BL T: 0161 777 6000 the vote to ban referral fees. Many other walks of life dedicate up to 20% of F: 0161 777 6060 turnover to marketing. Lawyers got away without any marketing budget E: [email protected] when they were not permitted to advertise or market themselves. So Joe Public had to rely on word of mouth for a recommendation. Lawyers are too Clerksroom Magazine is produced under licence by JAR Holdings Limited, 9 Old Coach Road, specialised for that system to work now. So may be 20% of a case’s value Kelsall, Cheshire CW6 0QL. 07734 995 902 paid to a CMC is about right for a specialist PI firm to pay. As for politicians accused of cheating, just let the courts decide. More on this later in this edition.
1 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Crown Court Work – Missing the Point? By the Editor The right pictures in your Chambers help project a professional The controversy highlighted by Judge Gledhill’s criticism of some solicitor higher-court advocates [HCAs] image and provide an inspirational environment for staff. performance reported last month has amongst other factors resulted in the Bar Council setting up a working group to tackle what it calls “unfair competition from solicitor-advocates for Crown Court work”. Century Galleries Ltd, Art Rental service is unsurpassed and our flexible approach, combined with an extensive catalogue, makes quality fine art available for all tastes at a low cost. Renting art provides the It is about time to fight back since losing the monopoly freedom to change your collection as often as you wish and ensures the workplace always looks fresh and of advocacy in higher courts in 1992. For a profession stimulating. that moves notoriously slowly, perhaps 17 years to recognise the threat is not bad. In addition, it is far more economically efficient to rent art at a low cost rather than purchase it, and not tie up your money in capital assets. As long established dealers of Fine Art , we represent many artists of Desmond Browne QC, Bar Council chairman has sent a international fame and have a history of finding new rising stars. Our framing and restoration division is one paper to criminal barristers outlining what they are of the most renowned in the South of England. Our service is utilised and trusted by private clients and insurance companies alike. doing about ‘the threat to the referral bar by the ever- increasing amount of advocacy’ performed by solicitor We visit your Chambers to establish how many pictures are required and their preferred location. On our (HCAs). second visit we will bring a selection of pictures for your consideration. Once artwork and costs are agreed, we will then arrange for the pictures to be professionally installed. Judges are being asked to estimate the extent to which solicitors have taken over work formerly done by the Our extensive collection is divided into four categories with over 500 pictures in each style: junior bar, and whether the work is being done Semi Abstract Impressionist Abstract Representational satisfactorily.
One of the main issues is that solicitors have direct seen his solicitor and is “locked in” [for want of a access to clients and can pay referral fees for work. better description!] so that no other solicitor can poach So what is being suggested? the client. Then that client will get the representation advised by the solicitor. • A campaign in police stations, magistrates’ courts and prison newspapers, advertising entitlement to And the first does not take into account how most a barrister. criminal case referrals work in the police station and • Amending the solicitors’ client care letter to magistrates’ court, sometimes with the assistance of Cleaning, maintenance and insurance is included within one manageable weekly fee. These visits are a great contain a statement of entitlement to a barrister the duty officer. If the Bar wants to play that game, opportunity to make any changes to your collection. • Ask the question in the PCMH (plea and case you would need criminal clerks operating a night shift management hearing) form about whether the at police stations so they could be first in the queue for Client Quote: “An extensive art collection that’s affordable!” client has been advised of that right to have a the best briefs as they arrive. This is just the same as Tim Wheeler, Senior Clerk, Harcourt Chambers. barrister. ambulance chasing for personal injury work. “ One of the best services I have ever brought into Chambers. Century Galleries are professional, smart, and Paul Marsh, Law Society president, was quoted in the Somehow I suspect the Bar will regard that as a step the service they provide is imaginative and unique; they are all a real joy to work with. “ Gazette as saying: ‘The issues that concern the bar are too far. And even if they do not, you can see an a product of their own rules and the bar could amend exodus of criminal clerks who prefer a good night’s Other Services these if it wished. The answer is not to amend the sleep. They will be replaced by lesser mortals who will : Fine Art Sales, Fine Art Conservation & Restoration, Picture Framing. [solicitor] client care letter.’ sail ever closer to the wind in their quest for work for their governors. But surely all these suggestions are missing the point. Century Galleries Limited, Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. The last 2 are too late as the lay client has already T: +44 (0) 1491 575 499 F: +44 (0) 1491 575 600 2 [email protected] www.centurygalleries.co.uk MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Time to Prosecute?
It is not often I am pushed on to the proverbial soap box, but what is going on in Westminster cannot be allowed to go by without some views being expressed. These are therefore my thoughts, and no doubt you will have your own. If you wish to share them with your colleagues I will be happy to provide the space.
What a mess? There have been so many revelations and tested way forward. The police collect all the and allegations about politicians “scamming” the evidence and if the CPS agrees there is a prima facie system. Now the legal world has been affected as on case, the accused stands trial. 12 citizens will then the 15th May 2009 Shahid Malik stepped down from decide in the usual way, and if guilty they should all go his post as the Justice Minister over his MPs’ expenses. to prison as examples of how not to behave. It would What is to be done? not be the first time politicians have taken a “compulsory sabbatical” inside at Her Majesty’s
Let us start with what he is alleged to have done. pleasure, and no doubt those who have already been According to the Daily Telegraph Malik paid discounted there will come up with help tips such as “How to rent at his main home in Dewsbury [which he pays for survive within a moat”. himself] of less than £100 per week, while at the same time claiming the maximum amount allowable for a No other method will do in Malik’s case provided the second home in London, equivalent to £66,827 over CPS favour prosecution. After all, as parliamentary three years. undersecretary of state at the Ministry of Justice, he provided support to the criminal justice group and Malik has relinquished his ministerial post while Sir national offender management service. His job also Philip Mawer, the parliamentary commissioner for covered the implementation of the Bradley review, standards, investigates whether Malik broke the implementation of the Casey review, community ministerial code. The code states that members of the involvement in justice issues, as well as ID cards, race government must not use their position to gain any and confidence, and Ministry of Justice staff issues. financial advantage. Justice has to be seen to be done for both the state and But let’s not dwell on the particular facts of Malik’s the defendant, and that can only be fully achieved in case, but consider what should be done as a system for open court. Not that it is the point, but there should be dealing with all the allegations. Surely there is a tried some cracking briefs to come out of it all!
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Listening to the politicians and media coverage, the But what if nobody is prosecuted? What message does language they are using does not seem to be entirely that send to the rest of society, law abiding or not, appropriate. They are all using words and phrases such about the rule of law and how to behave? as “misjudgement” and “loss of public confidence”, often followed in the case of the members of Parliament The answer will be that it will all be left for the voters by a full admission of what they have done and to sort out at the ballot box. They say a week is a confirming a full refund as if that makes it all right long time in politics. This time, we will all have again. So it is fine if we fiddle our expenses claims so long memories. long as when we get found out we just pay it all back.
Surely the language being used by the media should include the words “instant dismissal”, “fraud” and prosecute”. Anything less is a cover up on a grand scale.
The Lawyer Awards: Best of The Bar
Here are the runner and riders at the Bar for The Barrister of the Year Lawyer Awards due to take place at The Grosvenor • Stuart Catchpole QC, 39 Essex Street House Hotel London on Tuesday 23 June. It is • Timothy Dutton QC, Fountain Court interesting to note that only one Chambers nominated • Jonathan Gaisman QC, 7 King’s Bench Walk in the “Chambers of the Year” section has any of its • Richard Lissack QC, Outer Temple Chambers tenants listed in the “Barrister of the Year” category. • Nicholas Mostyn QC, 1 Hare Court Does this tell us anything about the other Chambers • David Pannick QC, Blackstone Chambers nominated? Or is it more about true talent shining • Dinah Rose QC, Blackstone Chambers through from wherever?
Chambers of the Year • Blackstone Chambers • Hardwicke Building • Landmark Chambers • Maitland Chambers • Park Lane Plowden Chambers • Serle Court • Tanfield Chambers • XXIV Old Buildings
7 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Keep on Running! Royal Parks Half Marathon October 2009 By Simon Duggan Senior Clerk One Inner Temple Lane
The article by Stephen Graham in the recent edition of the IBC bulletin really struck me as the perfect example of irony. He could have been describing the fate of one of the many people the fund helps through difficult times each year. Instead here was the Chairman of the IBC Benevolent Fund quite honestly setting out the state the fund is currently in. A combination of the global recession and a lack of financial support from the IBC membership have started to have a dramatic effect on the resources the fund can work with to support those amongst us that need their assistance.
Upon reading this article I This October I will be running in the immediately thought of ways to Royal Parks Half Marathon and I will donate or raise money for fund and be doing so to raise money for the highlight the situation to others. IBC Benevolent Fund. Hence this
article and its shout for donations and
I've been a keen runner since school, support. Any amount you can afford even more so since retiring from is welcome and very much competitive football at the grand age appreciated. There may even be some of 31 and I regularly run in 10K and half marathons. of you who fancy running as well for the fund or have
Running in the charity’s name seemed like the natural other ideas of raising money. thing to do, especially as a few years ago my Senior
Clerk at the time [Paul Hurst, now at Crown Office Row] Many thanks in advance for all your help. Please see and I raised nearly £3,000 for Macmillan by running in ‘How to help’ below for details of how to donate. the Great North Run. This amount was raised just through members of chambers and instructing solicitors. See their site: http://www.royalparkshalf.com/
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Gill Butchard The IBC Benevolent Fund to read Steve Graham’s full article. Principal of Butchard Associates Some of you will have seen Steve’s article in the IBC The IBC Benevolent Fund exists to give financial assistance Bulletin. The argument for help now for the Fund is to members and past members of the Institute of Barristers’ Clerks (formerly the Barristers’ Clerks' overwhelming. The following in as extract: Association), their husbands, wives, partners, widows, widowers, children and other dependants who fall on hard “We have been hit particularly hard by the effects of the Is obtaining/chasing client feedback a real chore? times caused, for example by: global economic recession: we are being squeezed from Do you lack the time to carry out an both left and right. The current situation is increasing the • Unemployment number of members who need our help and at the same • Illness, accident or disability effective review – and find out what your time our advisors are urging caution when we come to • Family problems clients really think about your Chambers? quantify the amount we can give. • Difficulties during retirement • Bereavement We have a modest but very well managed investment Help is given according to each person’s needs and there portfolio. The income from that during 2008 fell by over is no requirement to have subscribed to the Benevolent Gill Butchard of butchardassociates can help you 20%. We cannot sustain that sort of fall in value for very Fund. Help is by a one-off grant to deal with emergencies. with any of the following: long. ■ Co-ordinate your client feedback questionnaire: produce the Your chance to support the We need the general membership to make regular Clerks Benevolent Fund questionnaire, send it to your clients, analyse the responses and contributions. A handful of members report back to you do give regularly every year and some retired clerks are Simon is running for your charity which is there to help giving a sum equivalent to their annual IBC membership you in your hour of need. The charity needs your help now. ■ Telephone or visit to selected clients about the service your chambers, to the fund. So this is your chance to help Simon raise money for the analyse responses and report back to you IBC BF. All these contributions are most welcome and indeed they ■ Help chambers implement change in line with the responses received have been vital to our survival. We are not looking for vast How to help sums from people; a £1 per week from everyone would • Run with Simon in October transform the situation. • Raise money yourself using a different event and send Gill could also help you with: it to Simon Duggan I believe that 2009 will be a critical year for the • Send in your sponsorship money – as much as you Supplier review Debt Collection Benevolent Fund. If we do not find alternative forms of can – to Simon Duggan at One Inner Temple Lane. DX 286 LDE Expenditure Analysis/Review Holiday/Sick cover income and the downturn continues we could begin to slide down the path to oblivion as we give away our • Donate online. E-mail Simon at Management Reports Job Training capital. I and the rest of the Benevolent Fund [email protected] and he will drop you an Committee are not prepared to suffer that without a fight. e-mail when his sponsorship page is available Database Management Procedural review through Royal Parks Half. Client Management Business Review We are appealing to all those Clerks who are as safe and economically secure as you ever can be in our job to Marketing donate an appropriate sum every year to help those less fortunate than they are.” For more info: See Gill’s website at www.butchards.co.uk Visit: http://www.ibc.org.uk Email: [email protected] Tel: 0772 591 1320 www.butchards.co.uk 11 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE - a problem shared!!
Some more of your printable offerings!
Dear Ted ‘n’ Alice Alice: A little research on this one, and I came up with I went home the other evening having left some some proper advice: notes on my desk. They were to do with a big • Respect each other’s expertise and knowledge. case and I intended the next day to talk a • Don’t fighting over chambers’ issues. couple points out with colleagues before • Recognize the others role in chambers. entering the data on the system. There was • Be realistic when deciding if your life partner nothing sensitive in the notes. I was late in the can also be your work colleague. next day, and when I sat down I noticed that someone had scribbled heavily over most of the Dear Ted ‘n’ Alice Has your firm spoken to advantage yet about joining one of the front page on my notes. One of the clerks told I was watching “Snog Marry Avoid” on TV and me it was one of the junior members. Should I started to wonder if anyone ever kissed in Legal Buying Groups and massively reducing your office supplies confront the individual? Chambers. With all the office flirting that goes overhead? on it must happen. Sounds quite romantic really. Ted: Absolutely. They have to learn early otherwise What do you think? If not.. call us today to receive details and information of how you they just don’t see they have done any wrong. can introduce an innovative new supply system that will reduce Ted: You may think about that, but I could not Alice: I agree. Children need a strong lesson early possibly comment. costs and save time throughout the year. doors.
Alice: In a recent survey [don’t ask who by!] of the Lower costs Dear Ted ‘n’ Alice 10 Best Places to Kiss, on your office desk came Why choose us as Save on purchase price and eliminate There is a job going at my husband’s chambers out second. Research shows that as many as 61 hidden costs. which would suit me down to the ground. I percent of relationships start in the workplace, your one supplier? think I would stand a good chance of getting it. and 50 percent of office amours lead to Flexible ordering But I am not sure about working in the same marriage. So if you’re flirting by the coffee Work with us to create an effective, efficient ordering system that’s perfect place as my husband. What do you think? machine or bantering in your clerks’ room, take for you. care it does not go to the next level. Ted: I am going to let Alice deal with this one. The researcher did add that if you don’t have a Dedicated service My attitude would be to give it a go, but then I desk job, then find the nearest supply closet. One source, one solution means you am a man. can focus on the success of your Tel: 0845 370 3500 business. 12 Fax: 0845 370 3501 E-mail: [email protected] Superb choice www.advantageoss.com Choose from over 30,000 product lines, MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 all available from just one supplier. JOB VACANCIES
Corporate Identity - Creative Design for Print - Printing Promotional Point of Sale - Photography - Packaging Design Large Format Display Material - PR & Copywriting Web Design - Illustration ARTICLE A Public Health Warning? By the Editor
I was sent this little story by someone with a mischievous sense of humour.
From the Daily News comes this story of a Walsall his lack of underpants turned his private parts into couple who drove their car to the local supermarket, glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the only to have their car break down in the car park. The embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the was standing idly by. The RAC mechanic, however, had chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, to have three stitches in his forehead!
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Serving the legal community in Manchester “the second legal city” ARTICLE Legal Aid “Rich List”
As usual the “Fat Cat” articles get dusted off for their annual outing in the press. The headline sums are always quoted but never the caveats that accompany them. The website reads:
The annual list of the highest paid solicitors firms and barristers from legal aid in 2007/08 has been published on the Ministry of Justice website.
The list details payments made to advocates and Highest Paid Barristers – litigators in the financial year 2007/08. Criminal Defence Service (year ending 31 March 2008) Legal aid is a vital service that helps people in times of real need, which is why the government remains Charles N Salmon QC £1,058,000 committed to ensuring it is available to all those who Howard A Godfrey QC £ 988,000 need it most. On its 60th anniversary, legal aid continues David R B Whitehouse QC £ 959,000 to help more than 2 million people each year. The UK Charles J W Benson £ 835,000 spends more per head on legal aid than any other Kieran P Vaughan £ 799,000 country. Anthony R Barraclough £ 768,000 Lewis N Power £ 703,000 Legal aid has been one of the fastest growing areas of Vincent W Coughlin QC £ 688,000 public sector spending over the last 25 years, increasing Michael I Wolkind QC £ 687,000 at an annual average rate of 5.7% to around £2 billion Abbas Lakha QC £ 647,000 today (as much as is spent on the Prison Service). This rate of increase in spending is not sustainable, which is Barristers – Civil Legal Aid Highest Paid why the Ministry of Justice and Legal Services Barristers – Community Legal Service Commission are taking forward a range of reforms that (year ending 31 March 2008) have put legal aid expenditure on a sustainable level and allocated resources where it is most needed. Simon D Hirst £ 442,000 Michael J Keehan QC £ 372,000 We are working with the professions to ensure those Alison Ball QC £ 371,000 most in need of help continue to receive appropriate Paul M Storey QC £ 354,000 assistance at a cost that is fair to practitioners and fair Jeremy G Rosenblatt £ 345,000 to the taxpayer. David H Southey £ 344,000 Janet C Bazley QC £ 318,000 It is important that the lists are read in the correct Clive W Heaton QC £ 306,000 context to understand fully what the figures represent John P Godfrey £ 300,000 Stephen Knafler £ 288,000 In light of the frequency that this sort of information is requested, the department decided two years ago (in respect of 2005-06) to publish the list on an annual basis so that anyone requesting the information can simply be referred to it.
22 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Recruitment update
Staff recruitment of particular interest to smaller chambers. Career progression for staff in chambers has been Those Chambers who are trying to economise and who affected by the recession, as some chambers have been cannot afford full time holding off recruiting staff unless absolutly necessary, staff for the which is leading to frustration. Suddenly, as mistakes administrative creep in, a chambers decides it needs to recruit more functions every staff. Martin Poulter has highlighted another problem. Chambers has to fulfil “There have been very few Senior Clerks leaving their can now call on the posts in recent time, which often leads to movement of experience of many middle rank clerks to fill more senior posts.” freelance Chambers Adminstrators Staff training through Chambers Staff training is often forgotten about in chambers as Solutions that it is considered by some to be an un-necessary expense. provides help in And the BTEC course, while it covers many aspects of Administration, business administration in a chambers, does not train Property and Facilities some of the basic law that many young junior clerks Management, Book-keeping, Finances, and Marketing were instructed about within their first few weeks in services. Martin points out: “All of the services can be chambers. For example, the history of the clerking charged at hourly rates, so maximising the return on profession generally, and traditional matters in particular expenditure. It is the way to get value for money, e.g. the provision of a Red Bag to a junior counsel. particularly in these difficult times.” Proper training of junior staff, like explaining the qualities that are expected of a good barristers’clerk, Chambers People office has enough space now for the can often benefit the individual and the clerks’ storage of chambers administration documents, which room generally. means that the freelance consultant can operate from and keep everything together at 150 Fleet Street, saving Chambers People has moved on! chambers desk space as well. After nearly 7 years at small, cramped offices at 30 Chancery Lane, Chambers People has now moved to a spacious office close to the Temple and the Royal Courts of Justice at 150 Fleet Street.
Martin Poulter is delighted with the move. “This will enable our operation to expand into areas we could only dream of when at Chancery Lane.” He added “We can now include the provision of additional services for chambers, and Staff Training facilities as well.” Chambers People will be able to offer extra specialist services that will include the provision of freelance services for chambers administration. This is likely to be
24 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Views of the Fantasy Bar
Month 2 and a chance for Head of Chambers Rupert to reply
Geoffrey
My dear fellow, I expect you realise that the Slurry case The best I’ve been able to do is have a quiet word with went pear-shaped (God bless Bar Mutual say I) just as I Adrian Castle, an old friend and a consultant with received your heartfelt letter last month Bordains. Nothing helpful from that source either I’m afraid. Apparently the lady in question is widely The problem you describe is not new. Many members of respected, or should I say feared, and wields the Bar find themselves the subject of a “crush” from considerable power. If we offend her we risk an female solicitors, although I suspect that the usual embargo on all instructions to Chambers, and several of crushees are a tad younger and slimmer than yourself! your colleagues would suffer a good deal. Alicia, your Some of us would be flattered by the attention – any ex-pupil, for one would find her practice cut to ribbons. attention! I need hardly remind you that your own practice would be severely reduced But I digress. It is as you say entirely unacceptable for you to be placed in this position and I have spoken Now that you and Annabel are living apart you must severely to Adam, although with only mixed results. need every penny you can earn my friend. I gather from Oddly he always seemed too busy to come to my room, Louise (entre nous) that Annabel may not regard the so I eventually bearded him in his den. separation as a trial one – apparently she is enjoying her freedom and is negotiating a litigation loan so she My opening shot was intended to assert some authority can afford very expensive divorce solicitors. All very in a light-hearted way: “who pays your wages young worrying for you I’m sure but not the time to imperil man?” but I received rather a testy response. He was in one’s income surely? fact extremely direct “I know just what this is about; I’ve got 35 of you buggers to feed, most of them as Sometimes one just has to “go with the flow” Geoffrey. clueless as old Geoff, and you tell me how I explain it if Have you considered counselling? Bourdains give us the old heave-ho? If Geoff has hooked that old trout at Bourdains it’s a bit of luck for As ever Chambers. And can I remind you Sir that your Court of Rupert Appeal foray next month comes from them as well, you should be able to spin that one out into a pretty decent payday”
To be frank I could barely get a word in while Adam ranted on, and he eventually announced “I don’t need this job. I’ve had offers you know”. After calming him down a bit, and finding out more about the Court of Appeal case (and I shall need a decent junior Geoffrey), I have concluded that it just isn’t practical or good business to raise any form of complaint to Bordains
27 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 ARTICLE Poet’s Corner
The BBC is heavily into poetry at the moment so we went in search of words to inspire our daily grind. A traditional lunch of beer and cheese may help the general theme.
Apparently booze makes us So what has cheese got to do with the life of a Lawyer? happy; and sad. Optimistic; and pessimistic. Quiet as a lamb; and The Lawyer's Lament brave as a lion. Here is an example of mankind's reactions to the juice of the I'll tell yer of what 'appened as I walked along me way grape. Not a lot has changed in Through the local park out on a bright an' sunny day almost I chance upon a friend of mine, a friend who's far from poor 300 years. A gentleman who earns his crust by practicing the law Serviced Office Facilities: ● 218 Strand offers UK and overseas lawyers the opportunity to Ode to Booze 'e's wearing his black gown and wig, as if 'e were mid case But most of all 'e wears a grimace right across his face share resources in a serviced office suite, directly opposite the I thinks 'Now, is the problem, that me old mate's just so tense Royal Courts of Justice in the Strand, London WC2. The Empty Bottle by William Aytoun (Scottish Lawyer, From arguing, soliciting and totting up expense' ● The reception is on the 3rd Floor and staffed 8am - 6pm. humorist, writer and poet: Born 1813) ● Most of Aytoun's work was very stuffy, grand, blood-and- So I says to 'im, 'What's brought you down to this poor Meeting Room available include Single rooms for 1-50 people thunder stuff that was perhaps expected of a Victorian lawyer state of grace up to Mediation Suites. with another top lawyer for a father! However he was still That has you wearing this 'uge frown, why right human despite his disadvantages as this short ditty shows: - across yer face?' Now it aint often you see a lawyer gag and nearly choke Accommodation: Ah, liberty! How like thou art As he says "Its them scientists, those blokes in them white ● To this large bottle lying here, coats Fleet Street apartment available for short term rental to Which yesterday from foreign mart, professional people when in London. Came filled with potent English beer! "They're buying up the lawyers, the ladies and the gents ● Superbly located studio apartment situated just off Fleet Street. And putting us in mazes for their weird experiments" A touch of steel - a hand - a gush - Now I'm all shocked, I says to 'im "'ow could things A pop that sounded far and near - come to that? Disaster Recovery Suite: A wild emotion - liquid rush - Aint that the sort of thing for which they've always ● And I had drunk that English beer! used them rats?" Suite with 24/7 availability of hot desk PC’s connected to the Internet. And what remains? - An empty shell! "They'd rather use solicitors than rats, those bloody voyeurs A lifeless form both sad and queer, In part because there's not as many rats as there are lawyers A temple where no god doth dwell - What's worse...", 'e 'angs 'is 'ead and says "It's sad but true The simple memory of beer! There are some things, no matter what, that a rat just will not do" Contact Us: So if you see a pack of lawyers, bustling in a race 218 Strand, London, WC2R 1AT You might just find one later, cheesy grin across 'is face 'e'll be the one who's fastest, smartest, or whate'er they please T: 0845 083 3000 F: 0845 083 3001 Just don't ask 'im what 'e 'ad to do to get 'is brief of cheese DX: 232 London Chancery Lane E: [email protected]
28 MAY 2009 ~ ISSUE 90 www.218strand.com