____________________TABLE OF CONTENTS____________________ PAGE Welcome Letter 1 Humor!!!!! 2 USFTshirt: The Next Generation 4 The USF Experience in Las Vegas 5 USF Get Together 7 If you have Star Trek Questions 8 Ballot Box 8 Wanted: Dead Or Alive 9 Laria Moonmoth, live from Sector 039 10 Paramount Official Press Releases 11 Nigala Gossip 12 ¿¿STAR TECH?? 13 The Site Review 14 More Gossip!!! 15 The Armoury 15 USF Host Updates 17 USF Official News Release Re: USF SOG 17 Laria Moonmoth, Reporting Live 19 Serial Painter On The Loose! 20 STAR TREK: CONTINUUM Update 21 The Galaxy Ball 22 USF Sim Schedule 23 Credits 24 My staff and I joyfully bring you the October issue of the USF PADD cyber-magazine! This is indeed a full issue. We start off with some humor, and we quickly follow that with several articles where the authors would greatly appreciate a response from you, our wonderful readers (everything from T-shirts to techno-babble questions)! We also have gossip, gossip, and more gossip - strange things are happening in the USF - read and find out some of them. In between the gossip sections, you will find some techno-babble, site reviews, and official news from Paramount concerning ::drum roll:: Star Trek! This is followed by USF news and even more gossip! All for your reading pleasure. Enjoy! USFShodan Chief Editor USF PADD USF PADD web site http://members.aol.com/usfpadd HUMOR!!!!! Written by E2JORL From the Home Office at the bottom of a pile of sand though an hourglass... Top Ten changes if the Star Trek franchise became a Soap Opera, uh excuse me, "Daytime Drama" 10) Riker discovers he has an exact double who becomes a terrorist and lands in jail... Hey, that actually happened.. 9) Tom Paris replaced by Charlie from "All My Children"... Whoops, that one happened too... 8) All the women are good looking, thin, have perfect hair at all times, and wear really tight clothing... Well, I guess that already applies too... 7) Captain Janeway replaced by Mary from "Ryan's Hope"... Gee, I think I'm detecting a pattern here... 6) Kirk finds any excuse to strip down to his bare chest... Oh, man! That already happens.. 5) Vorick wants B'Elanna. B'Elanna doesn't want Vorick. Tom wants B'Elanna. B'Elanna sort of wants Tom. Vorick tries to get B'Elanna. B'Elanna tries to get Tom. B'Elanna fights Vorick. B'Elanna tells Tom to be careful what he wishes for... Aw, nuts, this list just isn't working out... 4) Beverly falls in love with a ghost in a really cheesy Gothic Romance plotline... Rats! I can't win!... 3) That cad Worf takes up with Jadzia without even a thought to poor Deanna... Damn! Not again!... 2) Kira has to carry Miles and Keiko's unborn child even though the baby is really Sid's... On second thought, I don't think even a Soap Opera would try this one!... And the Number One change if the Star Trek franchise became a Soap Opera... 1) Riker marries Laura from "General Hospital"... Uh, let's forget I even started this one!... From the Home Office "Out there...Thataway!"... Top Ten unseen improvements to the Sovereign class Enterprise-E 10) Crew members' transporter use now accrues Frequent Flyer Miles 9) "Magic Eye" 3-D pictures in all crew quarters 8) Shag carpeting in Engineering 7) Random artificial gravity shutdowns- "Just For Fun" 6) "Ten Backward" 5) "Mr. Worf, set phasers to 'tickle'." 4) Jeffries tubes now one giant maze...First crew member to find way to Stellar Cartography wins a pony! 3) Counselor Troi equipped with "unlimited access"...if you know what I mean... 2) Toilets And the Number One unseen improvement to the Sovereign class Enterprise-E... 1) Foos Ball!! From the Home Office on Mulberry Street... Top Ten lines of dialogue if Star Trek had been written by Dr. Seuss 10) COMPUTER SCAN: "One Ship. Two Ship. Red Ship. Blue Ship." 9) PICARD: "The Grinch has stolen our Christmas. He has taken our fun. And I will make him pay For what he has done!" 8) SPOCK: "The needs of the many Outweigh the needs of the few. Just keep that in mind Next time you feel blue!" 7) O'BRIEN: "Captain! Captain! A ship! A ship! Dukat is on another trip! He is wearing his new hat! Yes, Captain, Dukat in the hat came back!" 6) JANEWAY: "From near to far, From here to there, Strange things that glow and throb. We're Starfleet officers, Mr. Kim. Weird is part of the job!" 5) KIRK: "Tribbles, Tribbles everywhere! Tribbles, Tribbles in my hair! Over Tribbles I might trip, Get these Tribbles off my ship!" 4) KHAN: "He tasks me and I shall have him! I shall chase him in a plane! I shall chase him on a train! I shall chase him on a boat! I shall chase him with a goat!" 3) SPOCK: "Captain, please don't shoot That angry Horta! She's just protecting her eggs, Like a good mother orta!" 2) MARTOK: "Ouch! That hurt! You cut out my eye! Perhaps today IS A good day to die!" And the Number One line of dialog if Star Trek had been written by Dr. Seuss... 1) PICARD: "I do so love Tea, Earl Grey, hot! I do so love it! Thanks a lot!" USFTshirt: The Next Generation Written by: USFLynx Greetings fellow USFers. :) I'm thinking about making another USF T-shirt, and I'd like to get some ideas from everyone. If you're interested, please take a few moments to fill out the questionnaire. If there is enough interest, then I will try and put something in to production. 1. What type of designs should go on the shirt? - attach any graphics that you have 2. What color of shirt would you like? - some colors might not be available 3. How much should the shirt cost? - my opinion is $10, put down what you think you could afford - this is all non-profit, so if we spend more, we'll get more 4. Are there any other styles you would like to see? - examples: polo, henley, button up, denim, hooded sweater, etc. - anything other then a t-shirt is sure to be more expensive 5. Please comment on the following design ideas: 1. A USF Logo on the front upper left chest. The back would have all current USF members names scattered about in a really cool space scene. The top back would read "United Space Federation 1998". 2. A USF Logo on the front upper left chest. The back would have a really cool space scene (to be decided upon). Thanks for your time :) Lynx ^,,^ pictures are from left to right: USFLynx, Ensign Vasarin, USFDamara, USFGorkon, & USFAhrele The USF Experience in Las Vegas By Fleet Captain Damara Seven Cha'Tavek Take one Commodore, one Fleet Captain, a Captain, a Lieutenant Commander, and an Ensign... mix them all together and put them in Las Vegas, and what do you get? Tons of fun and an "Experience" they'll never forget! On the first weekend in August 1998, some of the USF staff met in Las Vegas. The main objective of the trip was to go to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton, but it was also a chance for everyone to actually see their on-line friends in person, some of them for the first time. Arriving first on Friday from Sacramento was myself, Fleet Captain Damara Seven Cha'Tavek (Darmok), and tagging along with me was my real-life son who plays Ensign Vasarin on the Sundancer. Next to arrive was Lt. Commander Tom Trekker (Darmok) who came all the way from Delaware! Arriving from Missouri, Commodore Ahrele Johannson (Darmok) rendezvoused with the others at the airport, and the whole group proceeded to their hotel to check in. Once we arrived at the Luxor and oohed and aahed at the incredible Egyptian motif, we discovered that Captain Gorkon (Integrity) had arrived there from San Diego ahead of schedule. Finally, all together, the group wasted no time in going to the Hilton, intending only to inquire about prices and times for the Star Trek Experience. Once there, however, there was no way anyone was going to drag me out of there without actually going on the ride. Luckily, there was no line and we were able to get on almost right away. The ride is aptly named... it truly is an "experience" like no other. I really felt like I had been transported aboard the Enterprise and there were many realistic touches which added to the fun. As we walked down the corridor, real people in Starfleet uniforms walked past us. I even saw an engineer kneeling down in front of an open panel. Next we were escorted to an incredibly realistic bridge, complete with viewscreen, consoles, and red alert klaxons sounding. My only disappointment here is that you're only allowed to stand in one place as a group, and I had hoped to be able to sit in the Captain's .... I mean XO's chair (::winks at Ahrele::). From the bridge, we were whisked to a very exciting shuttle ride and finally delivered safe and sound to DS 9 where we wandered the Promenade spending credits and had a drink at Quark's Bar. There was a brief encounter between Commodore Johannson and a Klingon when she unknowingly incurred his wrath, and he proceeded to glare at her for the entire time we were there.