Abolish the Administration Look out Your Window
The Jacko’s Oldest College Newsparody. Founded 1908. Vol. MAX. VOLUME EXCEEDED 15 Days Until He Arrives TODAY’S WEATHER Abolish the Administration Look out your window. By CHET term we cannot hope to attract the The Dartmovth Staff best students while the administration still exists. By eliminating the This Wednesday, Dartmouth’s administration, we can curb that Greek organizations convened to negative attention”. agree on a single plan of action: The open letter continues on to the eradication of the college’s mention that while “many faculty SPORTS administration. “We find it members lead productive lives outside PLEASE, I’M unfortunate to do away with one of the administrative system”, the TRAPPED IN THIS of Dartmouth’s most hallowed presence of an administration “is NEWSPAPER traditions,” explains the convention’s ultimately a major destination for ROOM open letter to the community, “but many faculty members”. measures must be taken for this “The major problem with this,” institution’s future”. Kai explains, “is the rejection. PAGE 8 We reached out to Alfred Kai, When administration members ‘15 and convention leader. “National are denying faculty a position in scrutiny of Dartmouth is intense, and their ranks, they create a toxic Parkhurst Hall, where the Administration’s weekly meetings, discrimina- OPINION criticism is growing,” he explained. hierarchy. The administration only tion, and debauchery take place. I’M SERIOUS, “Whenever Dartmouth makes a serves to propagate unequal power mistake, the media blames the dynamics, institutionalizing arbitrary SOMEONE HELP administration for their ineffective exclusivity.” New Keystone Pipeline ME solutions. As the recent decline in The convention is clear to note applications indicates, in the long PAGE 4 See OPPRESSION, page 7 Construction Delayed By KEITH STONEHAM the Green and over the demolished Residents Of Triple Still The Dartmovth Staff Reed Hall, as planned.
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