orvallis C he T ADVOCATE LES ARTIST PROFILE: MIS CYRUS PEERY SCORES MAY 21ST ART BIG! WALK PRIMER BEER & BOWL DERBY MAGICAL MYSTERY FUNDRAISER MAY FaIR Free Every Thursday I www.corvallisadvocate.com I May 14-21, 2015 2 | Corvallis Advocate May 14-21, 2015 Editor/Publisher WHAT’S INSIDE THIS WEEK? Steven J. Schultz 4 Bowl Drink for Derby; Metaphysically Assoc. Editor Johnny Beaver May; Dancing on Death Rumor; Forest Bites Dog? City Editor Denise Ruttan 5 As the State Turns; Warm Backwash: Entertainment Science is a Thing Editor Ygal Kaufman 6 Nate Scores Les Mis Words Dave DeLuca 7 Walking That CAW Padma McKaye Sidney Reilly Nathan Hermanson 8 Surrealist Peery in Any Medium Johnny Beaver Rob Goffins Paul Henry 10 Calendar Ygal Kaufman 12 8 Days Design Bobbi Dickerson 14 Entertainmental Calendar Melissa Spaulding-Ross Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com editor calendar @corvallisadvocate.com story ideas ads } The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Padma McKaye MEMORIAL STUDIO’S DEATH GREATLY EXAGGERATED Caffeine Confirms Dance to Stay The Just Cut and Paste the URL Edition... and, What’s a Washington? umors of renovation and removal of After talking to the dean of the College Rthe Betty Lynd Thompson Studio of Public Health and Human Sciences, of Dance in the Historic Women’s Dr. Tammy Bray, however, we found Building at OSU reached the ears of that nothing will be changed with Advocate staff a few weeks ago, and respect to the studio. Bray said, ”I do not have any plan that I could share with with the fate of the historic building anyone. There is no story in this rumor. and studio at question we jumped to It is a beautiful room, indeed.” Well, By Dave DeLuca action. In a caffeine-induced frenzy, we that’s quite an encouraging answer to scoured the land for the facts. that question. Back to our coffee. LET’S GET By Sidney Reilly METAPHYSICAL… FOREST NO LONGER SUSPECT IN DOG ASSAULTS METAPHYSICAL Culprit Remains at Large At the Mystical Magical May Faire recent spate of dog illnesses that • Bring water; make sure your dog is A seemed to be linked to their owners hydrated especially when it’s very orvallis is a town of technology taking them for walks in McDonald warm out and logic. From da Vinci Days C Forest has had pet owners on edge • Consult your vet if there are any to HP and OSU, we worship science. all week. Indeed if you have any But there’s another side to our fair physical restrictions your friend local friends who have both dogs and city, an alternative mindset. This side should heed embraces spirituality, energy work, Facebook accounts, a Venn diagram and a whole other dimension of that is just a circle, you’ve probably Scientists from both the Vet School and thought. Whether you reside in the yin seen some panicked calls to not take the College of Forestry came together to or the yang, Robert Jon and Michael your dog to the popular area. Now OSU inspect the recent cases of dog illnesses, Swindle invite you to join them for a researchers are weighing in and seem to which many suspected were stemming day of relaxation and cleansing at think you all need to take a chill pill, not from some sort of water contamination the Mystical Magical May Faire. to get overly technical with the science continue to be welcome there.” in the forest. After a thorough jargon. investigation, which included speaking As coordinators of the event, Jon Gordon is an expert in small animal and Swindle have booked psychics, with several of the owners, they found “After reviewing these cases, we could mediums, massage therapists, aura internal medicine, and recommends the no links between the areas where the cleansers, and tarot card readers find no evidence that suggests something following standard precautions when dogs were, what they were doing, their in McDonald Forest is posing a special to appear. Notable mystical arts will walking your best friend anywhere, symptoms, or any toxins found in their include transformational color energy risk to animals,” said Jana Gordon, an systems. readings from Leslie Romine and aura assistant professor in the OSU College particularly McDonald Forest: cleansing by Jan Duke. Local Reiki of Veterinary Medicine, in a recent press In other words, feel free to take your teacher Margot Vance-Borland will release. “In light of that, the forest will • Keep your pal on a leash dog to McDonald Forest, but prepare for be offering sessions and providing remain open for public use and pets will • Avoid encounters with wildlife conspiracy theories. information about mindfulness-based Hakomi psychotherapy. Information tables, apparel makers, and craft vendors will round out the eclectic By Nathan Hermanson group on hand. Jon and Swindle will HROWDOWN FOR UN AND OLLER ERBY also be displaying their wares. The T F R D two make wire-wrapped gemstone Bid, Bowl, and Beer to Support Derby Dames jewelry as LM Products, Jewelry, and Gems. oller derby is a sport without equal. But roller derby is all about fight and for the true roller derby fan, a collection RSmashing together physicality the Derby Dames have that in spades. of succulents displayed in some old Not quite enough to pique your matching any mainstream contact rental skates repurposed as planters. curiosity? Jody Gonzalez, reader of sport with the speed and On Saturday, May 16, the Sick Town pets, will be located just outside to finesse of skating sports, Derby Dames, along with In a college town like ours, mainstream meet your four-legged best friends. bouts can be a spectacle the Candy Stripers Jr. sports take the spotlight and roller Jon was raised in Corvallis, and has to behold. And while Derby and Willamette derby inevitably doesn’t get its fair always seen it as a magical city. Corvallis has a dedicated Roller Derby Officials, shake. For a fairly low price and a night However, he thinks the New Age team in the Sick Town will be putting on a Bid, of genuine fun, support can be given community is not always visible. Derby Dames, their Bowl, and Beer event to this growing sport and can help the Events like this fair could change that. spectacle may be sidelined at Highland Bowl. The Derby Dames get back on their skates. “It’s time to open doors and open without outsider help. event is for all ages and Bid, Bowl, and Beer is on Saturday, minds to new possibilities and new will feature three hours of ways of both living and thinking,” he Our local Sick Town Derby bowling, brews provided by 2 May 16 from 5 to 8 p.m. at Highland said. Dames operate through a non- Towns Ciderhouse and Mazama Bowl. Tickets are $12 if purchased profit league here in Corvallis and Brewing, and a silent auction whose online through Brown Paper Tickets The Mystical Magical May Faire will their roller rink, located just off of 99W, profits will go entirely to the renovation and $15 at the door. Ticket price be held at the Elks Club at 1400 has fallen on hard times. Roof repairs includes shoe rental and bowling access. NW 9th Street on Saturday, May 23 efforts. from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission is are needed and the year-round skating Children aged eight and younger are free. For more information, email that would make the team even more Items up for bid include a one-hour free. Find out more about the event [email protected]. competitive requires an expansion of consultation with a building contractor, and the Sick Town Derby Dames at the rink. a 2014 DB Razorback longboard, and www.sicktownderbydames.com. 4 | Corvallis Advocate By Johnny Beaver S THE TATE URNS AThe Just Cut Sand Paste the T URL Edition... and, What’s a Washington? OBAMA DOES NIKE... field and such. And then he ruined AND TRADE DEAL it all by ending the speech with the Alright, so it’s not that historic, but Nike slogan, “Just do it.” the Cresident in Phief yammered on for about 45 minutes at the Trans MICHAEL JORDAN TAKES OVER Pacific Partnership trade deal, PDX SEWER BUREAU telling people of his plans to make Not the all-star basketball legend, sure Japanese people eat Oregonian you silly-billies! The guy that nobody steak and assuring the crowd that has heard of that shares the same By Johnny Beaver Ron Wyden was missing from the name as the all-star basketball event because he was working on legend. And good lord, there truly is LINN-BENTON some related important thing. And nothing else to say about this. I’m so (not not because he’s experiencing a case sorry. BACKWASH a of irritable bowel syndrome that Fish Stories, Monkey IT’s a BIRD... IT’s a PlaNE! NO, IT’s hotline... has baffled the top minds of medical AN A*SHOLE ON THE TRAIN TRACKS Stories... I Quit science. they made a liar Forty-one-year-old Tim Norgren Thanks to a fancy windmill erected at out of me!) that lets E.E. Wilson Wildlife Area just outside of When talking about trade talks that (possibly a Timothy, or a people report mass bee Corvallis, trout will be able to breathe were going on behind closed doors, Timothocles..