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The Dropout Vol. I No. 1

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The Dropout Vol. I No. 1 A Eugene Classic VOLUME I, NUMBER 6 June 16, 2010 Newly imprinted and enlarged to almoſt as much againe Wednesdays fortnightly The Dropoutas it was, according to the true and perfect Coppie. X FREE THE Tragicall Hiſtorie of HAMLET,Prince of Denmarke. " O, from this time forth, My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth! " IN THIS EDITION: BIG FOOT SYMPOSIUM PG. 6 ALTERNATIVE SPORTS PG. 8 BACH REMIX PG. 13 HOW TO HIDE A DRUG ADDICTION PG. 14 GUEST COMMENTARY 3 NEWS 4 COOLIGAN 5 FILM 7 FEATURE 8 MUSIC 11 CALENDAR 12 FICTION 14 HOW-TO 14 CROSSWORD 15 HOROSCOPES/ADVICE 15 Yeah, our website needs some work. www.dropouteugene.com facebook.com/thedropout PHOTO(S) OF THE HOUR by Steven Weeks THE NAG the people all around you? Nobody panic. We are not here to hurt Ok. Enough politics. All we all really want anyone, but do not interfere. We are the Edi- is happiness. The question is, how do we get torial Liberation Front, and we are here to there from here? How do we escape the dun- make journalism a threat again. Inspired by geon of modern society that requires obedi- the anarchists in Greece who staged an oc- ence in exchange for survival? That is a ques- “Making poor decisions and loving it since 2010” cupation of a national tv station during a live tion we all need to answer for ourselves. For EUGENE, OREGON June 16, 2010 volume I, number 6 feed to encourage everyone to join in the re- the Editorial Liberation Front, we found joy in sistance in the streets, and in solidarity with taking over the Nag for a moment. What will the uncontrollable anarchists in Portland and you do? everywhere else, we have wrestled the controls of The Dropout editorial space known as “The —The Editorial Liberation Front Nag” away from Bronwynn to deliver to you this crucial message: We want everything. For free. And now. And we want you to join us. Spread the word, and help others dropout. And DROPOUT CREW SUBMIT [email protected] It is not acceptable to continue the com- be sure to keep up with the cyberdelic countercul- ADVERTISING [email protected] plicity with the system of domination that ex- ture at www.dropouteugene.com Publisher Robert Patterson LETTERS [email protected] If you don’t like what you see, we suggest one EDITORIAL EDITOR [email protected] ploits the entire world to serve a few who live of the following options: Editor Bronwynn Manaois NEWSROOM [email protected] in luxury on the backs of everyone else and 1. Keep it handy in your messenger bag for MUSIC [email protected] Music River Donaghey consume the very vitality of the living earth, when you need to wrap the pint glass liberated ARTS [email protected] Beer JD Ellison leaving desolation in place of vibrant living from your favorite watering hole. Contributors Sean Äaberg, Devika Bakshi, Sarah FOOD/DRINK [email protected] 2. Start stocking up on homemade fireworks. Daegling, Jeff Deane Jr., Nigel Dumas, Megan Hinkel, BEER [email protected] landscape, and slavery and sweatshops in place Chad Huniu, Nicholas Johnson, Kelley Jordan, Dylan Skye SCREENS [email protected] of healthy loving communities. What good is a The paper, a little gun powder, some fuses… CALENDAR Kennedy, Josiah Mankofsky, Collin Parliman, Kimbirlee [email protected] job or career if you live in a mental prison, on 3. Write a letter to the editor at: Sage, Mark Sullivan, Joel de Vyldere, Dylan Wilks, The content of this issue ©2010 by Clark Street Media, and may [email protected] Dante Zúñiga-West not be reprinted in part or in whole without the express written a dying planet? consent of the publisher. ART & DESIGN Look at it this way. Now that you have Art Director Steven Weeks The Dropout is designed and published in the historic Whiteaker graduated, what are you going to do? Join the Photo Editor Tim Sullivan District, Eugene, Oregon. The Dropout is available free of charge in Eugene, limited to one copy per reader. The Dropout may only be ranks of zombies toiling away performing un- Designers Kyle Martin distributed by the Dropout’s authorized distributors. Photographers & Illustrators necessary obligatory tasks merely to work off Giulia D’Agostino, Erik de Buhr, Simone Grover, Nicholas The Dropout is available by mail in the U.S., Mexico and Canada the debt incurred through the racket known as Johnson, Gabrielle Lent, Christina Saavedra, Evans C. for $65 dollars/year. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased for $5. Send your request for subscription or specific “higher education?” Or if you haven’t yet grad- Smith, Josh White issue date and include a check or money order payable to “The Dropout” to Subscriptions, PO Box 11535, Eugene, OR 97440. uated, then why dig yourself deeper into the ADVERTISING hole that you have started? Start living now! Sales & Marketing Director This newspaper is set in the type families of Arno Pro and Franklin Gothic. Robert Patterson Headlines and subheadlines are set in League Gothic and Raleway, respectively, Put your skills to use for the greater good, open source fonts courtesy of The League of Moveable Type. Account Executive Printed by Western Oregon Web Press, Albany, OR learn new skills that will help you and those Jeremiah Vosler around you. Why force yourself to study the THE DROPOUT ON THE COVER skills that your oppressors want you to use to PO BOX 11535 Steven Weeks serve them, at the expense of your community, EUGENE, OREGON 97440 (541) 686-3175 "I wanna talk to Hamlet" www.dropouteugene.com just because. 2 THE DROPOUT • JUNE 16, 2010 • DROPOUTEUGENE.COM GUEST COMMENTARY LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PO Box 11535, Eugene, OR 97440 [email protected] WILSON FOR GOVERNOR BAD advice by IAN Geronimo After worrying incessantly about our col- lapsing currency and other such problems, I The gubernatorial race in Oregon promises decided to take Reverend Cooligan's advice. I to be just a little more interesting because of went out and had a good time over the week- the candidacy of Jerry Wilson. The founder end. I really supported your advertisers, and of Soloflex and longtime political activist de- eventually spent all my money. Now what? I cided back in October that he had thrown his haven't paid the rent yet this month. What do support behind enough candidates over the I do now? years-- now it's his turn. Wilson made news Jim Showker over the decades as one of Oregon's high-pro- EDITOR: Jim, as it turns out, the papers make a nice shel- file, eccentric business personalities, fighting ter.And hats. Good thing it's warm now. Keep on readin' on the losing end of battles to legalize marijua- na and to shut down the Trojan nuclear power MORE BAD ADVICE plant in Rainer. He has emerged once again, Re: the "Sage Advice" column with the this time as an online presence, to promote his "morning noon and night pot smoker" rela- ideas about where we're at, where we're head- tionship issues. Oh, where to begin with the ed, and where the closest gravel emergency potential damages done by your "advice"! First escape ramp is. and foremost, if I were a morning noon and Wilson's blog, VivalaRevolucion.com, is night drinker, I would be an alcoholic. If I were a pretty colorful display of where this guy is looking at porn and masturbating morning coming from as a citizen and as a candidate, noon and night, I would be a sexaholic. Why featuring his recently-completed 129 page is it that you failed to recognize the writer for autobiography that documents, among other what he is: an addict. I don't care what it is debaucherous exploits, his days as a weed (pot, booze, sex, comic books or weightlift- smuggler. In the introductory chapter, Wil- ing ad infinitum) if it occupies the majority of son gets arrested with 17,000 pounds in New your time/thought process and is detrimental Mexico but gets off scot-free because of police to your personal relationships/growth, then it misconduct in the case. Also posted on the qualifies as an addiction! Spending ones entire blog is a video of Wilson flying what appears life in a drug haze IS AN ADDICTION! Fur- to be an open-air, make-shift helicopter over thermore, way to do a disservice to children by rural Hillsboro, swooping over the ranch style not even addressing the impact of a house of neighborhoods and Autumn trees holding a pot smoke on a childs lungs (or any smoke, for camcorder; all that's missing is a sound system that matter). All you apparently care about is blasting “Flight of the Valkries.” "the stink factor". As a member of the medical Wilson's political platform makes for some community, your suggestion to the writer to interesting coffee shop talk. He calls for the get a medical marijuana card is an affront to pardon of all criminals incarcerated for a “vic- those who need medical marijuana for their timless crime,” the revival of public shaming underlying illnesses/conditions. Why the fuck as a criminal justice model, and a ban of sale should Stoney McShitforbrains get a prescrip- on high fructose corn syrup and genetically tion for pot just so he can get high? Would you modified foods in the state. The creative use recommend the same for someone who was of shame in law enforcement recalls the tactics taking Percocet or Oxycontin? As long as as- of the wildly popular former mayor of Bogota, sholes like you advocate for other assholes to Antanas Mockus, who is currently running for lie to get pot prescriptions, the Medical Mari- president, and who hired 420 mimes to hit the jerry WILSON running as the Progressive party candidate in November's general election juana community is going to suffer in the court streets of the capital and make fun of traffic of- of public opinion.
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