GREEK AMERICAN

WeSATdURDAY - SUdNDAY MARiCH 1-2,n2014 gs

The National Herald

T H D E L N A AT ER IONAL H www.thenationalherald.com 2 Greek American THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 1, 2014

The National Herald

A weekly publication of the NATIONAL HERALD, INC. (ΕΘΝΙΚΟΣ ΚΗΡΥΞ), reporting the news and addressing the issues of paramount interest to the Greek American community of the United States of America.

Publisher-Editor Antonis H. Diamataris Assistant to Publisher, Advertising Veta H. Diamataris Papadopoulos Special Section Editor Sophia Stratakis Huling Production Manager Chrysoula Karametros Marketing & Design Director Anna Angelidakis

37-10 30th Street, LIC, NY 11101-2614 • Tel: (718)784-5255 • Fax: (718)472-0510, e-mail: [email protected]

Democritou 1 and Academias Sts, Athens, 10671, Greece • Tel: 011.30.210.3614.598 • Fax: 011.30.210.3643.776 Designer Angelo Lambrou e-mail: [email protected] A Conversation with East-Village-Chic Romancing the Islands Bridal Designer Angelo Lambrou Romance Œ Relaxation Œ Leisure Œ Excitement By Sophia S. Huling TNH Staff Writer

rides looking for the Greek goddess vibe, a particular ethnic fla - vor, or even a black gown on their day will fBind it in independent fashion designer Angelo Lambrou. A South African native of Greek- Cypriot parents, Lambrou has Customized Romantic Packages created tailor-made gowns, for Memories to Last a Lifetime! veils, and headpieces to his cus - tomers’ specifications in his New Book one of our popular York City atelier since 2000. Deluxe Packages by April 15 Lambrou designed costumes ANDÀRECEIVEÀÀO˯ÀPERÀCOUPLEÀ for Miss Botswana, Mpule Kwe - plus additional bonuses. lagobe, when she became the first black African and the third black woman in the world to win Miss Universe in 1999. The following year, he designed the feather-light, clean-lined gown all the Miss Universe contestants wore in the pageant’s opening number. He moved to the U.S. in 2000 and opened his shop in the East Village, a chic New York neighborhood. A peek at his frocks reveals soft draping, bias cuts, and wrap details. seem to float in his ; they are fitted to the body while still complimenting it. TNH: How did you get Honeymoon Specialists started designing wedding gowns? 55 East 59th Street, NY, NY 10022 Lambrou: In between my Toll-Free: 800-223-5570 ready-to-wear collections, my 5FMt'BY A at her wedding, wearing her couture gown made by XXX)PNFSJD5PVSTDPNtJOGP!IPNFSJDUPVSTDPN Continued on page 4 Angelo. THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 1, 2014 Greek American Weddings 3 Tying A Mixed Knot: Interfaith Challenge the Church and Her Members

By Sophia S. Huling Vasiliki (not her real name), guidelines, maybe being a little a Greek native who has lived in more flexible,” said Joanides. “To wo-thirds of the wed - the U.S. since age 14, said her the extent that we do that, then dings celebrated in the American-born son knew he it’s also possible that the non-Or - Greek Orthodox could not marry his Jewish fi - thodox partner may be somehow church in the U.S. to - ancée in the church, but he was impacted in a positive way, and day are between Orthodox and not prepared for the way his may even over time consider Tnon-Orthodox Christians, accord - priest responded to his an - what Orthodoxy has to offer. It’s ing to the Greek Orthodox Arch - nouncement. more probable that someone diocese’s Department of “You thought the ceiling fell would be influenced by the and Family. That does not ac - on him,” she said. “He said to my church’s kindness and sympathy count for Greek Orthodox mar - son, ‘You cannot do this, you will and goodness than if the church rying outside the Archdiocese, not be able to receive, you will is talking in legalistic, black-and- who are believed to be tying the not be able to be a koumbaro at white terms.” knot with non-Christians. a wedding, you will be an outcast Very Rev. Fr. Michael Ellias, A bride and groom wed in the Greek Orthodox church. “If you factor in those couples from the church!’ And my son pastor of St. Mary Antiochian Or - The connected crowns symbolize the two becoming one. into that statistic, you’re probably came home a wreck. He said, thodox Church in Brooklyn, N.Y., talking about 80 to 90 percent of ‘Mom, why can I not receive? I’m has also seen interfaith marriages “There probably needs to be what’s already happened,” Wood - a much more hostile environment Greek-Americans who are inter - not converting; I’m marrying increase in his 27 years as a a period of penance, but it is pos - ill said. “People come to me and than it was 25 years ago,” he said. marrying at some level,” said Rev. someone of a different faith.’” priest. He frequently has had to sible,” he said. “It usually involves say ‘Father, I haven’t been here “We’re going to need to ad - Fr. Charles Joanides, Ph.D., The couple was married in a break the news to a bride- or maintaining faithful membership, for a while, but I was married the culture in more accessi - LMFT, the Archdiocese’s Inter - civil ceremony. They have two groom-to-be that marrying their continuing your stewardship re - two years ago in such-and-such ble terms. Our vocabulary’s just faith Marriage researcher. “Our sons, both of whom have been non-Christian partner would sep - sponsibilities, if there are chil - place.’ It’s easy to see how a not helpful. When you’re talking congregations are no longer ho - baptized Orthodox, and their fa - arate them from the church. dren, making sure they’re raised young couple is swept up into with Muslims, for example, the mogeneous. The lion’s share of ther takes them to church on hol - “It’s a very difficult time to ex - in the faith, and usually after a that, because often one of the idea of expressing Three Persons people have been intermarrying idays to receive communion. plain that kind of thing. It’s sup - number of years it’s possible to parents is going to pay for the in one God is just incomprehen - now for several generations – the Vasiliki said her son receives com - posed to be one of the happiest bring someone back into full wedding and they’re going to do sible. When you’re dealing with last 30 years in high numbers.” munion there, without telling times in their lives, and people communion.” it this way. And it’s a shame be - real secularists, the church can’t Joanides, who was ordained that priest about his situation. really don’t understand the na - Rev. Fr. Joseph Woodhill, rec - cause in the past, they might appear to be hostile to science or a priest 35 years ago, has been Joanides believes that al - ture of the sacrament and the po - tor of St. Nicholas Orthodox have been swept up in the church to rationality. And sometimes directing the Archdiocese’s work though the church cannot give a sition of the church,” he said. Church (Orthodox Church in in that way, but no longer.” that’s a perception that we leave with intermarried couples and Christian sacrament to a non- He differentiated between America) in Whitestone, N.Y., has With regard to ministering to behind.” their families for almost 15 years. Christian, the guidelines by marrying outside the church served as a priest for 35 years, interfaith couples, Ellias noted Joanides emphasized that to In addition to his research, (fi - which the church ministers to in - (such as another Christian con - primarily on the east coast. Quite “the agnostic flavor of our cul - the extent the non-Orthodox nanced by Leadership 100, the termarried couples are sorely in gregation or a civil ceremony) often, he gets a visit from some - ture” is one of the greatest chal - partner of an inter-Christian cou - Archdiocese endowment fund), need of review to account for and marrying in another religious one seeking a reconnection to the lenges facing the church. ple is welcomed and doesn’t feel lectures, and workshops, he reg - some of the changes that are tak - tradition. The Antiochian Arch - church after having been married “It has become a militant anti- like a second-class citizen, the Or - ularly updates the information ing place in society. diocese maintains that as long as elsewhere. religious flavor. People want to thodox partner’s participation on the Office of Interfaith Mar - “There should be a greater a member does not marry in a “I wish I had a chance to consider themselves open and and support of the church will riage website emphasis on helping the Greek non-Christian faith, he or she can spend time with the couple be - open-minded, and I think that’s grow. The church’s ministries can (http://www.goarch.org/arch - Orthodox partner retain connec - reinstate their sacramental privi - fore the marriage is all over with as big a threat to our church as diocese/departments/marriage/i tion by looking at our pastoral leges. and then I’m asked to help with the question of marriage itself. It’s Continued on page 10 nterfaith), has written numerous essays and books, including “When You Intermarry: A Re - Intermarriage has steadily climbed among Greek-Americans for several generations, but recent source for Inter-Christian, Inter - cultural Couples, Parents & Fam - research has uncovered a shocking statistic: over the last 15 years, the number of marriages that ilies,” and has a small practice as a licensed marital and family are taking place in the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese have decreased by one-third. therapist. Intermarriage has steadily climbed among Greek-Americans for several generations, but re - cent research has uncovered a shocking statistic: over the last 15 years, the number of mar - riages that are taking place in the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese have decreased by one-third. “I was visiting a large com - munity in the northeast, and the MACY’S BRIDAL pastor told me, ‘We only did 3 weddings last year.’ This is a com - munity of 600 families, plus,” SALON BY Joanides said. Evidence suggests that as the generations go by and Greek- Americans are farther removed DEMETRIOS from their ethnic roots, they often migrate away from their faith as well. “We live in a secular society. Come view our exquisite collections of Our young people often lack even a rudimentary understanding of bridal, ’ and mothers’ gowns. their faith tradition,” he said. “We live in a spiritual marketplace to - day. And we’re talking about the New York third, fourth, fifth, sixth genera - tion Greeks who generally have Herald Square 212-494-3330 parents who have intermarried, who aren’t just pure-blooded Manhasset 516-869-0391 Greeks. Just because you’re Greek these days, doesn’t presup - Smith Haven Mall 631-724-7174 pose you’re going to be Orthodox also.” The church will marry an Or - New Jersey thodox with a non-Orthodox Christian as long as the non-Or - Cherry Hill Mall 856-661-4330 thodox partner was baptized in the name of the Holy Trinity and Menlo Park Mall 732-603-7875 in water, and the couple agrees to try to raise their children in Willowbrook Mall 973-812-6130 the Orthodox faith. But the church cannot unite one of her members with a non-Christian – Virginia and there’s evidence Orthodox are seeking to marry non-Chris - Tyson’s Galleria Mall 703-902-4330 tians with increased frequency. Unless the non-Christian partner converts, the wedding must take place outside the church, and the demetriosbride.com Orthodox partner loses his or her sacramental privileges. In effect, they are excommunicated. Worst of all, it comes to many as a com - plete shock. “Many of them are well-edu - cated people. They go to univer - sities, they meet people, they fall in love with them, they want to get married,” Joanides said. “Then they go to their pastor and they say, ‘We would like to get married,’ and the pastor says, ‘I can’t do anything for you.’ I’ve had numerous couples email me or call me and have asked me what their options were and I had to let them know that their options were quite narrow. The Orthodox partner loses their sacramental privileges, isn’t al - lowed to sponsor or be a godpar - ent or koumbaro at a wedding, and depending on the Metropol - itan, may not even be allowed to receive a funeral. Those kinds of things in a pluralistic society don’t sit well. Couples have a toxic reaction to them. They tend to leave the church feeling be - trayed, and at a moment in time when they needed the church, the church wasn’t there for them. This cuts both ways, too – it’s not ® that they’re all innocent. I just think that in the multi-cultural society, the post-modern society where we live, the church could be a little more flexible, a little more pastoral in its approach.” 4 Greek American Weddings THE NATIONAL HERALD, MARCH 1, 2014 A Conversation with Bridal Designer Angelo Lambrou

Continued from page 2 mony and a red one for China. We’ve even done black wedding customers asked me if I could gowns for brides looking for custom design their special something completely different. gowns for them. In 2008 I made TNH: Tell us about your pur - the decision to only focus on chase options. custom wedding and evening Lambrou: We have a selec - gowns, as this part of the busi - tion of ready gowns for brides ness had more demand. to choose from that are cus - TNH: Where do you get your tomized around our clients’ inspiration? needs and requirements. In ad - Lambrou: I am a great nature dition, I am often commissioned lover and I seek new ideas when to design a creation especially I get the chance to be in the for the bride. African bush or the Mediter - TNH: What fabrics do you ranean, but mostly I am inspired use? by my customers. Every cus - Lambrou: We use all natural tomer is their own unique indi - fabrics that breathe; silk/linens vidual, and every one of them or silk/cottons, or plain cotton has a distinctive personality. or linen blends. Our gowns are With every consultation, my designed for comfort and will team and I have the experience feel light as a feather. The heav - to explore their world, their per - ier the dress, the less comfort - sonalities and their needs. Our able you will be. Heavy does not relationship is a personal and mean quality. In most cases, intimate one, and this opens the heavier gowns are uncomfort - door of inspiration. It is a close able, since they are usually con - collaboration that leads to the structed with synthetic fibers ultimate dream gown. that tend to weigh substantially We have a very diverse clien - more than natural fibers. tele and cater to many cultures. Prices range from $2,300 to One recent bride was having a $7,000. View his collection at fusion wedding with two cere - his shop at 96 East 7th Street, monies and needed two dresses: New York, or at www.angelo - a white one for the U.S. cere - lambrou.com.

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Trend and Tradition owners Elleni Glekas, right, and Julie Georgelakos (above). Clockwise: guests receive Key Lime Margarita Mix • Sterling silver wedding crowns im - ported from Greece • Wedding candles adorned with hand- sewn antique white dupioni silk ribbon • Wedding favors de - signed by Elleni Glekas and Julie Georgelakos of Trend and Tradition: mini watering can filled with koufeta, decorated bottle filled with olive oil from Elos, Greece

At Trend and Tradition, Ancient Customs Dress in Millennial Style By Sophia S. Huling met through their husbands, whose mothers had been best friends Trend and Tradition offers distinct items such as sterling silver TNH Staff Writer since before the two men were born. Both women made the tran - wedding crowns imported from Greece. Other than a variety of sition from their careers outside the home to stay-at-home moth - crown styles and stefanothikes (glass display cases for the crowns), illennial brides no longer have to sacrifice modern erhood at about the same time – Georgelakos from an engineering which they import, the two make or custom design all their other style to maintain their ancestal customs. Julie George - position at Lockheed Martin, and Glekas from marketing at the wedding items. lakos and Elleni Glekas bring 21st-century panache Discovery Channel. They initially embarked on the venture as a “Some of the products from Greece you just can’t find here in to traditional culture with Trend and Tradition, their useful service for their area, one they could operate from home. America,” said Glekas. “They have these truly unique and beautiful event products and services company. Eventually, however, they came to regard their business similar to charms and embellishments that are such a nice touch.” MGlekas said the two originally set out nearly five years ago to a mission to keep their Greek Orthodox heritage alive, while also Glekas and Georgelakos collaborate directly with each bride to offer wedding and baptism ceremonial items for the Greek Ortho - offering more stylish options to modern brides of all ethnic back - create a memento that will fit her theme, color palette, and per - dox community in the Washington, D.C. area, as a convenience for grounds. sonality in an elegant way. Glekas added that their enhanced web - local residents who could not travel to Baltimore or New York to “When we thought about it, we said, ‘If we don’t do this, then site, due to launch any day, will include a DIY section. choose their wedding crowns, candles, boubounieres (favors) or who’s going to do it when all these lovely ladies who have been “A lot of people want to save money, so we can give all the ma - baptismal items in person. doing this for so many years get too old to do it? We need to kind terials, and then if they want to save the money and do it them - “There was really nothing in the Washington, D.C. metro area of be that next generation to do it, or else it will get lost.,” said selves with their girlfriends, then that’s another option many brides that we could go to physically see anything,” Glekas said. “We had Glekas. “We’re very strong believers in keeping our traditions alive would appreciate now,” said Glekas. just heard from so many people, ‘There’s nowhere in the area to and strong. It’s really just hearing feedback from everyone, ‘thank One of their newest favors is the personalized mini olive oil get stefana (wedding crowns). Where do I go? What do I do?’ One you so much for doing this, we love how your products are so bottle, filled with oil brought from Greece by one of Glekas’ close of our friends said, “Someone needs to do this here,’ and we said, modern.’ We love our traditions, but we just wanted to add a dif - friends. ‘We should do it.’” ferent look to them. Honoring them and respecting the traditions, “Let me tell you, no one leaves any of those behind!” Glekas Glekas, a California native, and Georgelakos, from Baltimore, but we just wanted to make them a little more modern.” said. “That’s a favor people love.” Ralis Insurance Agency All Types of Insurance Personal • Auto • Motorcycle • Homeowners • Renters • Umbrella • Life Commercial • Buildings • Retail Stores • Restaurants • Wholesalers • Contractors • Offices Call or stop by for a free quote Anthony D. Ralis - Agent 32-17 Broadway, Astoria, NY 11106 Tel.: (718) 274-0700 • Fax: (718) 274-7325

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ABOVE: Wedding table décor options from a bridal show - case LEFT: A from Russo’s onsite bakery

A view of Jamaica Bay from Russo’s

Wedding Trends at Russo’s On The Bay usso’s On The Bay, again. So I think the trend is on cause it adds a little variety to doing things that are a little Cakes: “They’re still so a result where someone was the Howard Beach, its way up to a larger reception. the look so it doesn’t have to be more practical, that people can unique. You’re still seeing the very unhappy, we would ab - N.Y. catering hall, We have seen a few of what so uniform. People are kind of eat afterwards or drink after - very traditional, elaborate, high solutely work with that bride af - has received men - they’re calling ‘post-wedding breaking away from the very wards, that they’re going to ac - pieces with a lot of detail: one terwards to make it right in tions on The Knot Best Of Wed - celebrations,’ as opposed to a traditional rules now, and it’s tually use. I see a lot of people cake could have everything from whatever appropriate way. But dRings for the last two years. We whole big wedding where every - sort of anything goes. Couples giving champagne bottles, bot - lace to crystal to flowers. Then our team is very close and con - caught up with Lauren Taylor, one’s coming from the church. like that freedom of putting tles of wine, dessert-type favors there’s the other end, which is I nected, and if there’s something Russo’s event concierge, to chat So we are seeing some ‘wedding their own spin on a wedding. like personalized cookies or think a very modern style, very wrong with a preferred vendor, about some recent wedding dinner parties,’ and we see that Lower pieces tend to be less ex - cake pops that people can take clean, simple, not too many de - we can step in and sort of help trends. because we have our restaurant, pensive, so by mixing it up with home and enjoy after the wed - tails. It’s so varied from one fix it.” Music: “More popular now Metro, which is a smaller venue, high and low, that sometimes ding.” bride to the next, I think there’s Every two months or so, is, a lot of brides and grooms where we have an a la carte offsets cost a little bit, and adds Food: “We have our signa - no way to say what the trend is. Russo’s presents a bridal show - choose to have a DJ instead of restaurant. We have a Crystal variety to the look while also ture 11-choice menu for the en - It’s so personal to each bride. In case, where their preferred ven - a band, but they complement Lounge, which is a lounge fit for keeping a symmetry. Also, peo - trées, we’re sort of known for the same weekend you could dors feature their services and the DJ with a little live enter - a cocktail party-type celebra - ple sometimes have three dif - that, so it’s like giving your see something that’s eight tiers products for brides and grooms tainment, like one singer that tion. Celebrations where they’re ferent styles around the room, guests that restaurant experi - with every detail you can imag - to peruse. will maybe do some of the cou - not so traditional, the bride and so it could be a high piece, a ence at a catered affair. People ine, to something very simple “Florists bring samples of the ple’s ethnic songs in a different groom may not be wearing their candle piece, and a low piece, still like giving their guests the and square with clean edges.” upcoming trends in floral de - language, or a different style. wedding gown and tuxedo, or all the same colors and same choice for their dinner. It’s stood Russo’s maintains a list of sign; photographers bring sam - That’s a very popular trend – may have even been married type of flowers, but all different the test of time, so we really their preferred vendors – favors, ple albums of recent work just to have a little bit of live previously, but they are having styles in the room.” don’t get requests to do other - invitations, photographers, they’ve done; DJs will take turns music as opposed to a full band, these smaller gatherings.” Favors: “In the past few wise. The cocktail hour is still florists, car services, videogra - spinning tunes for about 15-20 or adding a percussionist or a Centerpieces: “People are years, people are really doing a kind of that feast time where phers, musicians, travel agents minutes; Russo’s band will do a saxophonist.” starting to be a little bit more lot of more practical favors, par - everybody’s just sampling every - – whose services they guaran - 20-minute set. The couples re - Reception size: “For a little practical-thinking with wedding ticularly edible or drinkable fa - thing. As much as we see a lot tee. ally get to see us all work before while we saw the size was get - expenses, so something that’s vors, like wine bottles. I think of new trends, and a lot of “Even in the event if there they make any decisions.” ting a little bit smaller, but it very popular now is to do a we see a change because people things that are breaking out was something missing, we seems that larger weddings are combination of high center - start to say, ‘How many serving against tradition, as much as know there’s accountability, and Russo’s On The Bay is at 162- back on the rise again. Over the pieces and low centerpieces in plates can you have after a there are new things, there are our vendors would be close 45 Crossbay Boulevard, Howard past four months or so, the the room, so they’ll do every while,’ and with the economy a still those staples that are tried enough to fix it in time, or make Beach, N.Y. www.russosonthe - numbers are starting to grow other table. And I think it’s be - little different, I think people are and true and will always stay.” it up; or if not, and it ends up in bay.com

Picture Perfect: Questions To Ask Your Photographer

hen it comes to your wedding photographs you want them to look beautiful and memorable, right? Well, in order to make that happen we suggest using a profes - sional wedding photographer. Some couples may think that photographers know what the couple wants; however, that is Wnot always the case. It is important to get to know your wedding photographer because he/she will be capturing your memorable moments. We provided you with a list of various questions you may want to ask your wedding photographer: 1. What type of camera will the photographer use? 2. Which person from your team will be taking the photos at my wedding? 3. What styles do you specialize in? Do you do any creative shoots? 4. Do you use an assistant? Will the assistant be there on the day of my wedding? 5. Have you worked at my wedding location before? Did it work out? 6. Approximately how long will it take for the photographer to capture the photographs? 7. How many photographs come in each package? 8. Will you accept a list from me displaying my must haves? 9. What attire will the photographer wear? raphers? 10. What types of photos will be taken (Black and White, Color, 20. Are you shooting other events on the same day as mine? Antiques, etc.)? Take some time to get to know your wedding photographer. 11. How long after the wedding will the proofs be ready? Meet the person who will be taking your photographs before the 12. How far in advance do I need to book with you? 16. Are you shooting in digital or film format or both? wedding. Remember, they will be capturing those special moments 13. Do you have a portfolio that I can see? 17. How would you describe your photography style? at your wedding! 14. Will you put together a slideshow of the ceremony? 18. How many weddings have you shot? 15. May I have a list of references? 19. What do you think distinguishes your work from other photog - (Source: newjerseyweddings.com)

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me and shouldn't I love him? I passage and its meaning. If they tians 3) – thus giving us EQUAL - hold has its rules and regula - find it is way easier for women read line 4 of that passage, they ITY. In this process, we recog - tions by which people abide. to love someone than respect see that the husband has a huge nize that we choose to die to God had set His rules and Jesus him. If we don't respect him, we burden as well: to love his wife ourselves. With the wedding Christ's followers, through di - will not trust his judgment and like Christ did the Church, and crowns, we are placing the vine inspiration, have written as we will not be willing to be sub - gave himself up for her. I think crowns of our own martyrdom such the four gospels of ject to him. I think it is easier people read “wives be subject to upon our heads. This bond is Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, for a man to respect someone your husbands,” and interpret it not a form of bondage; while and the marriage passages writ - than love her. I admit I'm just like being a slave or servant to bonded together, man and ten by the Apostle Paul to the guessing on this one, not being him. The relationship between woman are made one. Crazy as Ephesians. a guy or discussed this with husband and wife is like the re - this sounds, there is a freedom Our husbands become our them I don't know for sure. But, lationship between Christ and in this oneness: a freedom to protectors, and you always pro - if a man loves his wife as himself the Church. To us in our mar - love, share, cherish, honor, and tect the ones you love. In order he will not do anything from riage, there is a mutual respect obey as we – together – are ush - for someone to protect you, they selfishness. He will truly want for one another. If I know that ered back into Paradise. must first love you. After all, he what is best for her and want my husband’s intentions are Do I do all these things...? must be willing to give himself her to be happy. godly, then who am I to not fol - No, I do not. In Romans, we are up for her. Therefore, the wife low him? told that no one is without sin, must be grateful and respectful aaa People think the Bible is old and all have fallen short. It is for her husband's actions. For Let me first say that my hus - fashioned, not meant for today, true in marriage. We fail, we he is willing to give his life for band is much better at holding etc. But if more up his end of the scripture than people under - I am. He always puts my welfare stood or first. I, on the other hand, am opened their The wedding epistle pretty stubborn and want things hearts to un - my own way. I think when I was derstand it, younger I may have felt it was they would find sort of a sexist scripture. Now, so much more and after almost 27 years of peace in their marriage, I see the wisdom of lives and their it. It creates less conflict if one relationships. is the "head" as long as the head puts the welfare of the other aaa members first. That doesn't In a nut - mean that my husband doesn't shell, the part let me lead. In fact, with his sup - about being a port, I often lead when it comes subject to your to the welfare of the children. husband is just God blessed me with the ability one of many to figure things out, especially things that we for my son who has a disability, hear in church and a husband who provides that I choose to Compiled by have done anything equal to emotional and financial support ignore. A re - Sophia S. Huling what Christ has done. You are for what needs to be done. I find minder of how sacrificing yourself for someone that we actually complement men crafted so rethren, always to whom you are already joined, one another. much of our re - and for every - but He offered Himself up for ligion, and it's thing give thanks one who turned her back on aaa up to us mod - in the name of Him and hated Him. In the same To me this is God making ern women to our Lord Jesus Christ to God the way, then, as He honored her sure we treat each other right. disregard what “FatheB r. Be subject to one an - by putting at His feet one who Women tend to show love, and is based on an - other out of reverence for turned her back on Him, who their hearts are always with cient prejudice and be in tune lose sight of the One who gives her just as Jesus Christ gave His Christ. Wives, be subject to your hated, rejected, and disdained their husbands, but what they with our own hearts and sense eternal life, who is Love so that life for us by dying on the cross. husbands, as to the Lord. For Him, as He accomplished this forget to do often is to respect of justice. I realize this picking we can love in return. Marriage is like a pilot and a the husband is the head of the not with threats, or violence, or him. They forget the honor due and choosing is probably offen - Madeleine L'Engle, one of my co-pilot trying to navigate a wife as Christ is the head of the terror, or anything else like that, to him and what he does for the sive to literalists, but I think that favorite authors, has eloquently plane called life. As pilot and church, his body, and is himself but through His untiring love; family, and so God is reminding there is no place for gender di - defined this love: co-pilot, while traveling in life's its Savior. As the church is sub - so also you should behave to - them of that. visions in a spiritual realm. “If we commit ourselves to journey, the weather can be ject to Christ, so let wives also ward your wife. Even if you see In the same manner God is one person for life, this is not, beautiful and flying very plea - be subject in everything to their her belittling you, or despising reminding the man to love his aaa as many people think, a rejec - surable and enjoyable. In turbu - husbands. Husbands, love your and mocking you, still you will wife. Men seem to forget that In 20 years of marriage, tion of freedom; rather, it de - lent times however, the pilot wives, as Christ loved the be able to subject her to your - women want to be shown, told, fraught with much blood, sweat, mands the courage to move into will ask the co-pilot to push Church and gave himself up for self, through affection, kindness, reminded that they are loved. tears and joy, the meaning of all the risks of freedom, and the some buttons, hoping to stabi - her, that he might sanctify her, and your great regard for her.” God knows this, He made us this the scripture has slowly seeped risk of love which is permanent; lize the situation. At this critical having cleansed her by the Returning to 2014, we took way, so he encourages men to in my soul. Within marriage we into that love which is not pos - time the two will determine washing of water with the word, an informal survey of Christian be an example to all by loving are citizens of the kingdom of session but participation.” how strong and how obedient that he might present the women who have been married their wives. Notice St. Paul God; therefore to be a good cit - the bond between them is, Church to himself in splendor, between seven and 50 years, starts this passage as that the izen, we think of order, and in aaa which will determine the jour - without spot or wrinkle or any most of whom heard this read - couple needs to be subject to that heavenly order “there is Every nation, every govern - ney throughout their life to - such thing, that she might be ing at their weddings. Read on one another. To respect each neither male nor female" (Gala - ment municipality, every house - gether. holy and without blemish. Even for their interpretations, born of other. It is a command for both. so husbands should love their their experiences, of this pas - They just need to be reminded wives as their own bodies. He sage of scripture. how, each in the appropriate who loves his wife loves himself. way. Also notice this (the double For no man ever hates his own aaa x chromosomes are speaking flesh, but nourishes and cher - I remember having a discus - now): the husband is given a The Perfect Smile ishes it, as Christ does the sion in a college art class about longer, more detailed instruc - Church, because we are mem - submission to your husband. tion, because he needs a little For Your Special Day bers of his body. "For this reason Needless to say, everyone else kick in the pants. a man shall leave his father and in the class said they would Now really, if we remember mother and be joined to his never be submissive to anyone. that we became one flesh, that wife, and the two shall become I said I would only marry some - what we do or say to our spouse one flesh." This mystery is a pro - one whom I could trust to make we are doing or saying to our - found one, and I am saying that the right decisions with input selves, we will do the right it refers to Christ and the from me. He would love me thing. I do not feel demeaned MICHAEL KOKOLIS, DDS Church; however, let each one enough to take into account or lessened by St. Paul's words. Member of the Academy of Orofacial Pain of you love his wife as himself, what I had to say about an issue I know many women seem to and let the wife see that she re - and my opinions. If he loved me think they are, but if you look TASSOS KATECHIS,DDS spects her husband.” (Ephesians as Christ loved the Church, he at what is commanded, I have Member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry 5:20-33) would not have me do things to subject myself, in other words This biblical passage, which that would lessen me in any show respect to my husband. ΜΑ RΙΑ Ι OΑΝΝΟ U D.D.S has been read at every Orthodox way. He would want only what My husband has to love me, Member of the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry Christian wedding for hundreds is best for me. Sometimes that love me so much he is willing of years, remains the subject of means I don't get to do what I to die for me. How can I not re - Astoria much discussion and disagree - want. Sometimes that means he spect that? Who has the more Across from Saint Demetrios Cathedral ment. Writing in the fourth cen - doesn't get to do what he wants. difficult role to fill? Arista Dental Care tury, St. John Chrysostom’s That is sacrificial love. Not that C.S. Lewis said, “Love is not Hellenic Building, 6 ος όροφος “Homily 20 on Ephesians” ad - it has been easy. He takes a affectionate feeling, but a steady 30 -74 31st St., • Astoria, NY 11102 • Tel .: (718) 721-0330 dresses husbands this way: while to make decisions when I wish for the loved person's ulti - “Take upon yourself the same want them made now. And mate good as far as it can be Bell Dental Care providential care of [your wife], sometimes I don't agree with obtained.” I think that really 214-35 42 Αve ., Bayside, NY 11361 as Christ takes upon Himself for him. But I know if I let him take sums the whole thing up. Tel.: (718) 352-5582 • Fax: (718) 352-5584 the Church. And even if it be - the lead everything will be as comes necessary for you to give God intended, eventually. aaa Port Washington Dental Care your life for her, yes, and even The end of verse 33 is the Many women take this pas - 18 Ηaven Αvenue, Ρort Washington, ΝΥ 11050 to endure and undergo suffering key. "Let each one of you love sage and think "I'm not going to Tel.: (516) 944-5300 • Fax: ( 516 ) 944 -5304 of any kind, do not refuse it. his wife as himself, and let the be subject to no man," and they Even though you undergo all wife see that she respects her stop reading, or get blocked and Diagnosis & Management of Temporomandibular Joint this, you will not, not even then, husband." Shouldn't he respect don't think about the rest of the Disorders & Orofacial Pain • Migraine Headaches • Snoring & Obstructive Sleep Apnea

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Easy: we both love to menu, particularly for women is a big part of your night – sing, and our KJ (karaoke n some ways, getting (yes, I’m generalizing again). make it what you want it to be, jockey) was a good friend with married in your forties But as far as I’m concerned, it’s but make sure your guests are whom I use to run a karaoke gives you some perspec - all about the cocktail hour. Two happy, too. show in Manhattan, as a hobby. tive you often overlook by main things to remember: 1) As long as you pick a good KJ – getting married in your twen - make sure it’s nice and long (at MISCELLANEOUS TIPS good quality sound system, song Ities, and gives you a chance to least an hour and a half, prefer - While we’re at it, here are a selection, and who doesn’t hog give a little advice to your fellow ably two), and; 2) don’t sched - few more tips to consider: up all the good echo for his own grooms-to-be – whether they’re ule photo shoots at that time. microphone and claim he can’t in their 20s, 30s, 40s…or even There is nothing worse than Saturday, not Sunday, and adjust the sound for the rest of 80s – while the wedding day is blinking and missing a wonder - Definitely not a Holiday the singers (I can do an entire still fresh on your mind (in my ful cocktail hour – the first Whoever thought up the no - story just on that) – karaoke can case, closing in on five years). chance as a married man to tion of getting married on a get your guests into the fun ten Of course, grooms are no mingle with the people you care Sunday obviously didn’t plan to times more than mere dancing. more a monolith than brides. most about, the ones who are have a late-night reception, or Everyone is an individual, no there to celebrate your special didn’t think about guests who Enjoy It two tastes are identical, to each day. The last thing you – or your work on Monday morning. So Above all, your wedding day his own, etc. etc. But in most guests – would want to do is be if you take a few liberties per - is going to be the best party cases, I think, there is in fact ushered into the main reception sonalizing the music to your lik - you’ll ever have (until your chil - good reason to generalize about hall before you’ve even had a ing, at least be thoughtful and dren’s wedding days, of course the groom’s perspective on chance to down your second have your reception on a Satur - – and personally, I’m a long things versus the bride’s. That heaping plate of appetizers and day night. That way, your guests ways away from that, so I could - said, here are my tips, for better your third cocktail. And no have a day to recuperate before n’t tell you) – so make sure you or for worse (pardon the pun): skimping on the choices: give the Monday morning grind. enjoy it! Get the posed photos your guests what they want, and Oh, and above all, do not by out of the way, eat a lot at cock - PRECIOUS FEW CHOICES make sure you get what you any means plan your wedding tail hour to be full, so you can In most cases, brides will have want, too. In my case, I made on the weekend of Memorial table-hop and see all your a lot to say about a lot of differ - sure plenty of Porterhouse steak Day, the Fourth of July, or Labor guests while they have dinner. ent things regarding the wedding (the real kind, not the “T-bone”) Day. A lot of your guests will Plan for a nice, loooooong re - that the groom really doesn’t and Laphroaig single malt make plans on those three-day ception, in order to spend qual - care all that much about. Those Scotch were on hand. My wife Our Bride Is,” followed by a ideal way to dance to Nisiotika weekends well in advance, and ity time with a lot of people. might include – beyond the wed - and I always wondered why in classic medley that extended the such as “Ntari Ntari,” “Tha Paro the last thing you ought to do is You’ll be glad you did. It’s the ding dress, of course – the brides - the world so many brides and dance to around 10 minutes or Mia Psarovarka,” and “Mes Tou force them to choose between greatest day of your life – plan maids’ dresses, the flower grooms miss their own cocktail beyond. And it doesn’t really Aigeou,” among others, though their long-awaited long getaway it well! arrangements, the table settings, hours: we wouldn’t have missed matter if your guests know how many people will default to weekend, and your wedding. I the dessert menu, the favors, and ours for the world! still remember years ago cutting The Wedding Video what the invitations will look like Wedding planning is most by and about brides. And that’s fine, a Fourth of July trip to Long Is - The wonderful woman Pres - and say. Unless you really care MUSIC but here are some tips for the guys: groom-to-groom. land midstream to rush back to bytera Pearl Veronis, whose hus - about those details, too, or unless This is your wedding recep - a wedding in New Jersey. band, Father Alexander, married she really wants you to be in - tion. Yours and your bride’s. You to dance or not – it’s not a dance kalamatiano for those, too (after My wife and I planned our us, gave us some very wise ad - volved in the minutiae, take a get to pick the music. Sure, you contest, it’s a wedding – it’s all all, the two dances are not en - wedding the Saturday AFTER vice: “watch the video of your back seat and focus on what de - want your guests to enjoy the about having a blast. tirely dissimilar, it’s not like Memorial Day – on purpose. wedding each year on your an - tails are important to you. In my music, too: that’s why our multi- As much as I love kalama - we’re comparing the tango to niversary.” We have followed her case, that was three things: food, hour reception contained only tiana – that’s the most popular breakdancing). Karaoke advice thus far, and it’s a special drinks, and music. Oh, and the two Deep Purple songs (my fa - Greek group dance – I also Neither my wife nor I are How can a bride and groom treat every time. So make lots style of my tuxedo. vorite band!). Our Greek music made sure we had plenty of fans of the Electric Slide or the who shun the Electric Slide and of copies just to make sure you began with the traditional open - syrta and soustes, too. The Macarena, so those were not on the Macarena insist on karaoke always have one on hand. COCKTAIL HOUR ing kalamatiano, “Oraia Pou syrto, more popular on the is - the agenda. But we know for at their wedding? Isn’t that trad - Sure, the dinner entrees are Einai I Nifi Mas – How Beautiful lands than the mainland, is the most people they are a must. ing one hokey activity for an - I Ora I Kali!

11 Affordable Honeymoon Destinations By Joe Yogerst and its lush tropical surroundings hotel night falling over the past North American cities and Mon - also boast many free festivals and two years, Dublin has gone from tego Bay, as well as expanded eeling a little stretched special events that highlight the being one of the most expensive service by other air carriers, Ja - by your wedding ex - island’s multicultural heritage. capitals in Western Europe to one maica is now among the cheap - penses? Don’t let that of the best values. Even so, the est places to reach in the impact your honey - BRAZIL Irish metropolis remains rela - Caribbean. moon fun! We did the math on Brazil has finally embraced tively expensive compared to the F11 of the best affordable honey - the all-inclusive with the same rest of the Emerald Isle – espe - BALKANS moon getaways where travel passion it puts toward soccer. cially the breathtaking west Europe’s long-lost corner may budgets stretch longer and wider. Brazilian backers have hooked up coast, with its quaint villages, not seem like the most obvious with SuperClubs to launch wind-swept scenery and green spot for a honeymoon, but the HONOLULU Breezes properties at prime hon - that seems to stretch forever. Our Balkans have really come into Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Given its distance from the eymoons locations, including the advice: Skip Dublin and fly their own in recent years as a mainland and high-priced island musical city of Bahia on the north straight into Shannon Airport, low-cost alternative to pricier economy, the 50th state has al - coast and the super-chic Buzios and you’ll save both money and Mediterranean destinations. In Aussie carriers also offer value THAILAND ways been one of the pricier do - beach-resort area near Rio de time (it’s an hour closer to the particular, Bulgaria and Croatia air passes that allow flexible Southeast Asia’s favorite des - United States than Dublin), with - have emerged as standout lo - flights within Australia – ideal for tination is the kind of place where out sacrificing the attractions for cales where money goes further first-time visitors who want to see it almost doesn’t matter how which Ireland is known – wel - than elsewhere on the continent it all, from the sophisticated much money you spend – even coming locals, thriving musical – and they have as much culture restaurants and shops of Sydney slumming it can seem like luxury culture and rugged natural to offer as their better-known and Melbourne to dive sites along in tropical paradises like Phuket beauty. neighbors in Western Europe. the Great Barrier Reef to desert and Ko Samui. Thailand’s biggest Bulgaria blends Roman ruins, an - landscapes in the Red Centre. bargain is accommodations, es - JAMAICA cient Orthodox churches, cuisine pecially at the more popular des - The Spanish colonized Ja - and Black Sea beaches with in - YUCATAN PENINSULA tinations, where the choice in ho - maica shortly after Christopher credibly low prices on just about Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula tels can sometimes overwhelm. Columbus discovered the exotic everything. While Croatia is just encompasses a huge area – Can - Fierce competition has brought tropical isle in 1494. The British as eclectic, with a gorgeous mix cun and Cozumel islands, the room prices down to levels that later snatched it away, laying the of Adriatic islands and beaches, mainland Riviera Maya (Playa seem too good to be true. Flying groundwork for the cultural fortified Renaissance towns and del Carmen and Tulum) and in - around Thailand is fairly inexpen - melting pot that eventually gave inland national parks with white- land spots like Chichen Itza and sive too and never takes very the world Rasta, reggae and Red water rafting, hiking and boating Merida – which means there’s long. Flights between Bangkok Sunbathing in Puerto Rico Stripe. But the Spanish are in - on jade-colored lakes. plenty of choice in terms of and the northern city of Chiang vading again, this time with huge where you stay, eat and play. Mai take about an hour and can all-inclusive resorts that lure cou - AUSTRALIA Each destination has its own dis - cost less one-way than most com - mestic destinations. But that Janeiro. Despite its reputation as ples craving bargains. You don’t The Aussies have long be - tinct vibe. Cancun is all about parable flights in the U.S. doesn’t mean you can’t find good a high-priced city, Rio can actu - even have to stay at one of the lieved everyone deserves a great beaching, bargain shopping and value. Couples dreaming about a ally be very reasonable. After all, new Riu, Iberostar or Gran Bahia holiday, and they respond with crazy nightlife. Fronting the PUERTO RICO Hawaiian honeymoon should the most popular activities are Principe resorts, strung along the dining, sleeping and travel op - longest barrier reef in the West - This island remains one of the consider Honolulu and the island absolutely free: people-watching north shore between Negril and tions for every budget. In fact, ern Hemisphere, Cozumel is a Caribbean’s best value getaways, of Oahu, home to icons like and parading up and down Co - Ocho Rios – their mere appear - the Australian Automobile Asso - holy grail for the diving crowd. not the least because U.S. citizens Waikiki Beach, Diamond Head pacabana and Ipanema beaches. ance has brought down hotel ciation offers an awesome Web Playa del Carmen is smooth and don’t have to invest in a passport crater and the Banzai Pipeline And you don’t have to stay right rates across the island. Sandals tool for figuring out the prices of sophisticated, while Tulum and to get there. Flights from the surf break. Honolulu’s hefty ho - on the beach: Hotels a block or resorts were founded in Jamaica, hotels, B&Bs, hostels and even Isla Mujeres offer two takes on States haven’t dropped that much tel stock means rates are avail - two behind the strand are often and their seven on-island oases houseboats and campgrounds. beach-bum paradise – the former, in price over the past few years, able that fit every budget. Dining hundreds of dollars per night are offering all sorts of incen - AAA’s star system is primarily eco-minded; the latter, isolated but accommodations in Puerto can be affordable too, especially cheaper than the sandside ones tives, including spa credits, free based on amenities but roughly (in a good way).The average Rico definitely have. You’ll also when you join the locals at the while offering the same level of nights and rates up to 65 percent corresponds to overnight rates. price of a hotel room has plunged save bucks on many of Puerto low-priced lunch joints and bak - room and service. less than before the Spanish in - And with trans-Pacific tickets across the Yucatan during spring Rico’s popular outdoor activities. eries of Honolulu’s Kapahulu vasion. And with budget airlines down from their pre-recession and summer. Five-star hotels gen - Surf schools at world-renowned neighborhood and the city’s Sat - IRELAND like JetBlue, AirTran and Air peak, you can easily reach Aus - erally offer the deepest discounts. Playa Rincon range are consid - urday farmers’ market. The city With the average price of a Transat now flying between tralia for less. Qantas and other Or you can make like Indiana erably less than other surf spots Jones in a thatch-roof jungle bun - like Hawaii. Top-ranked scuba galow at the Mayaland Hotel, outfitters offer one and two-tank near Chichen Itza. Down in laid- dives for extremely competitive back Tulum, there are good prices out of San Juan. Rental beachfront rooms for less, and cars are another great value. Be - even the high-end places, like the cause Puerto Rico is a U.S. terri - rustically romantic Posada Luna tory, not only are roads and dri - del Sur, can fit you in for an af - ving conditions very similar to fordable price, depending on the back home, so are rental rates. season. SRI LANKA MONTREAL This teardrop-shaped island in Hera Sambaziotis, MD and Martina Frandina, MD If you crave a honeymoon the Indian Ocean is on the oppo -

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Beidermeier: A nosegay made up of concentric circles of different flowers for a somewhat striped effect.

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Classic Hand-tied Bouquet: A dense bunch of blooms either anchored in a bouquet holder, wired, or hand-tied.

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By Sophia S. Huling Patrick Golden – the first one in was to give it the appearance of TNH Staff Writer more than 20 years. a carriage house. Golden has swapped the “It’s a clean look, it’s sleek, he Bay Ridge Manor Manor’s carpeting for a lime - the lighting just accents the catering hall in stone tile designed to look like wallpapering right down to the Brooklyn, N.Y. up - wood, installed new chande - floors,” Golden said of the main dated its look about liers, and added some gray hues ballroom. “It’s a natural look, eight months ago with a com - to the hall’s creamy color it’s clean, it’s crisp. We do have Tplete gut renovation, said owner scheme. He said that the idea colored lighting in the room. Not so much for weddings, but for other events, they like to use different colored linens, and we do have the up-lighting where we can transform the room into different look by the lighting and the dome lights.” The renovated main ballroom. The hall books one event at a time, with the ballroom on the main floor, room for cocktails guests request.” ping around and pricing out dif - photographers, bands, DJs com - on the lower level, and a bridal Brides, grooms, and their ferent stuff.” panies – basically anyone in the suite on the upper level for the families can expect to find one- Bay Ridge Manor works with wedding business.” guests’ use during the party. stop shopping here, with a pack - a French bakery and an Italian Golden said the small wed - “They can have cocktails up age that includes the reception, bakery to prepare the wedding ding trend, which he has seen there, they can have photos up valet parking, the wedding cake, cake, which can be either during the past few years, has there. It’s for their use during and a to find stacked or tiered in layers. shifted for the hall’s upcoming the reception so they can go up all the vendors a bride and The manor hosts two to three bookings. and have a private room to groom will need. bridal showcases per year, said “In the last five years, most themselves,” Golden said. “In our package we put Golden, with its next one sched - of the weddings we used to have Golden said his family has everything together so it’s one- uled for March 27 from 7-10 here were 125 to 200 people. run the Bay Ridge for the past stop shopping. So when the pm, open to anyone planning to The last few years they’ve been 32 years. bride comes in, she doesn’t have be married in the near future. all downsizing to 75, 50 people. “We taka a lot of pride in it, to go to the florist, she doesn’t The event will feature all their That’s turning around now as one wedding at a time, and we have to go get a limousine, we preferred vendors. our new bookings are coming oversee everything ourselves,” do it all here for her,” Golden “We anticipate a couple hun - in. They’re back up to 125, 150 he said. “We give it the final said. “We’ll put the package to - dred people. We have approxi - people.” The lobby on the main floor of the renovated Bay Ridge Manor. touches, and we keep a close gether and we’ll include every - mately 15 different vendors do - The front of the building will A room for cocktails is on the lower level, while another stair - watch on it to make sure every - thing in that package for them ing wedding services: get its own upgrade in the next case leads up to the bridal suite. thing is run just right as the so they don’t have to start shop - limousines, florists, bakeries, couple of months, said Golden. Interfaith Marriages Challenge the Church and Her Members

Continued from page 3 developed a close connection with a Jewish man whose family help by making it clear to them had never been observant in their that the non-Orthodox partner faith. Both his parents had passed would be embraced if they chose away before he met her. to convert. “He’s the one who came to me “I’ll tell you one group that and asked me what was needed does a great job at this: the Mor - on his part for him to convert,” mons, by being flexible with this she said. “His reasoning was type of couple and doing a great when you have children it’s very job of addressing the needs of the important to have one religion in non-Mormon partner. We need the home. It makes life a lot eas - to do the same kinds of things.” ier.” Woodill told of an Orthodox The family shares one faith, Christian woman and a Jewish and three cultures. “We have one man who were married by a child, adopted from Mexico. rabbi – though not in a syna - She’s the only child that will tell gogue – who are now regular you, ‘I am a Mexican, baptized parishioners in an Orthodox Greek Orthodox, being raised as church. When they approached a Greek-American with a Jewish him, he encouraged them to join last name,’” Maria said. the parish and petition the bishop The greatest success story to receive her back into commu - concerns Anastasia, a Greek Or - nion. The two are among the thodox young woman, and church’s most faithful parish - William, the son of a staunch ioners, although the husband, Irish Catholic mother and grand- who is only nominally Jewish, nephew of a priest. Both took has not converted. their faiths seriously, and were “Often, that’s because that advised by their priests to respect person has parents who would each other’s space and not pres - feel shocked and rejected for sure one another. As William be - that, and it would seem to me gan accompanying Anastasia to that the God we love doesn’t re - Bible studies and church services, quire that you go and shock your he began enjoying it more than mother or your father into the Catholicism. They were married grave,” said Woodill. in an Orthodox church, agreed Many Orthodox have build to raise their children in the successful intermarriages. Maria church, and after a few years, (not her real name), who grew William converted. up in a devout Greek Orthodox “What happens with most that kind of pulls you in, just by “It seems to me the question sionary endeavor,” Woodill said. into God’s love for us, so that the home, knew she would never converts is it’s not somebody seeing it, experiencing it,” he of interfaith or mixed couples is “They are people who are in couple’s embrace can include the marry outside the church. Yet she pushing them. It’s something said. more joyous than any other mis - love, and love can be opened up embrace of God.”

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By Sophia A. Niarchos ship, gave a sermon in which he fulfillment of the Old. Adam, the He accomplished this not with Special to The National Herald spoke of loving your neighbor first human, was a type of threats, or violence, or terror, or as you love yourself, and of how, Christ, and Eve was created anything else like that, but rom studying the Or - as baptized Christians, caring from him. In the same way, through His untiring love; so thodox faith in priest- for our health includes being Christ is the founder of the also you should behave toward led classes around dead to sin, not wanting it. Our Church, His Bride. This is the your wife. Even if you see her Long Island, I have natural distaste for sin, he said, natural order as God intended belittling you, or despising and come to appreciate the partner - is like being given a glass of wa - it. It was when woman and man mocking you, still you will be Fship that Christian marriage cre - ter with a drop of gasoline in it. were disobedient to God and able to subject her to yourself, ates. A tutor, freelance journalist Just as one would smell the didn’t own up to their disobedi - through affection, kindness, and and vocalist who married Dr. gasoline and not want to drink ence that sin became a part of your great regard for her.” Andreas Niarchos more than it, so too would we be repulsed the human experience. three decades ago, I was a mem - FEMINISM CRITIQUED ber of the youth culture that While partnership necessarily came to “maturity” in the 1970s demands coming to decisions in Detroit, after the rebellious together, when a woman is obe - riots of the 1960s and after the dient (i.e., submissive) to her pronouncement by the U.S. husband and he acts out of love Supreme Court that legalized for her, peace reigns and for - abortion, giving women the so- ward movement in life is possi - called freedom to extract the life ble. When a woman battles her that was developing in their husband, neither peace nor wombs. Liberated, I adopted the progress is possible. new identity established by the Feminism promotes that type culture in which I lived, not by of battle, pitting woman against the God who, I had been taught man. According to Frederica by the Church, created it. Men Mathews-Green, a contempo - became the enemy of women, rary philosopher and public were no longer needed or speaker whose book “Gender: wanted; and women were given Men, Women, Sex, Feminism” the mistaken idea that they (Conciliar Press, Chesterton, were better off handling all of Ind., 2002) presents essays on life on their own. many topics dear to her heart, Although I had a college de - “There is a pop-sociology con - gree and had started a profes - by anything that negatively im - Whenever I am obedient to cept called ‘imitating the oppres - sional editorial career, worry pacted our self-care, our health. my husband, by choice, not by sor,’ which means that when a that I would remain without a My husband wasn’t present requirement or his demand, I group struggles for a new iden - life partner (largely the product at that service, but the Holy reap many rewards. However, tity it tends to adopt the values of my mother’s nagging), Spirit was. So, the next morn - according to St. John Chrysos - of those whom it perceives to gnawed at me. The Theotokos, ing, after Andreas mentioned tom in “On Marriage and Family be holding power.” it seems, heard mom’s prayers over breakfast that neither he Life,” (St Vladimir’s Seminary And so, men’s opinion of and brought Andreas into my nor the people he worked with Press, Crestwood, NY, 1986) for women at the time of the sexual life. Two years later, I walked took lunch breaks, I told him a husband to expect obedience revolution, that they were stu - down the aisle, mindful only of what Fr. John had said in his from his wife, he must “be re - pid, powerless housewives, be - the way the photos would turn sermon the previous morning sponsible for the same providen - came our own; and we traded out, the beauty of the gown, and and exhorted him about taking tial care of her as Christ is for in the value of homemaking the fact that the parish sanctu - care of his health, that not doing the Church. which generations of women ary hadn’t been completed and so was the equivalent of sinning “And even if it becomes nec - had considered noble and ful - we were getting married in the against himself. I didn’t tell him essary for you to give your life filling, for the additional pres - community center. about Fr. John’s analogy; so for her, yes, and even to endure sures of careers outside the I was given to my husband when my life partner picked up and undergo suffering of any home. in Holy Matrimony. Little did I his cup of coffee, took a sip, and kind, do not refuse. Even In addition, we imagine that realize the power of the Holy (though the coffee had been though you undergo all this, you there are only two varieties of Spirit that is present in this prepared as it always had been) will never have done anything marriage. As Ms. Mathews- sacrament of the Church in said, “This tastes like gasoline,” equal to what Christ has done. Green puts it, our culture would making two souls one flesh. I I was stunned. We hadn’t been You are sacrificing yourself for teach us that it is either “TV was blessed by God when He at church together, but the Holy someone to whom you are al - show heaven” or “abusive hor - helped me find out nearly three Spirit’s connection to both of us ready joined, but He offered ror show hell.” And, she adds, decades later. was clear. Himself up for one who turned “Real marriage, marriage that The most illustrious example her back on Him and hated lasts, is neither…In the course of this was revealed to me just A GOLDEN-MOUTHED Him. In the same way, then, as of a lifetime together, everyone a couple of years ago. Fr. John INTERPRETATION He honored her by putting at will need forgiveness, and Vlahos, presbyter at the Church OF EPHESIANS 5 His feet one who turned her happy families learn that giving of the Holy Resurrection in As Orthodox Christians, we back on Him, who hated, re - it is the best way to ensure re - Brookville, N.Y., where I wor - accept the New Testament as jected, and disdained Him, as ceiving it in return.”

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