Being utklädd – performativity and etiquette in the Swedish wedding dress

Department of Media Studies MA Fashion Studies 30 ECTS Spring 2021 Student: Isabelle Jansson Supervisor: Chiara Faggella

Abstract

This thesis investigates the wedding dress in the 21st century in Sweden. Interviews provided the main material for the analysis of the wedding dress and its connotations. Erving Goffman’s theory on performances in everyday life and Efrat Tsëelon’s thoughts on modesty connected to the female body is used as a theoretical framework in this thesis. The wedding dress is also analyzed as an object, and thoughts from material culture are implemented when discussing the cultural connotations of the dress. The wedding dress is only worn during the wedding ceremony, and it evokes thoughts on performances and identity due to cultural values and expressions that the bride either identifies with or not. Being dressed as a bride is deemed less authentic than being dressed in everyday clothes and is compared to a masquerade garment. The Swedish word utklädd, which means being dressed out in different ways, is a common factor and description of wearing a wedding dress in Sweden in the 21st century.

Keywords: Wedding dress, Goffman, performance, femininity, Tsëelon, etiquette, modesty, tradition, ritual clothing, tulle

Acknowledgements

Thank you to all the teachers at the Centre of Fashion studies, especially my supervisor, Chiara Faggella, for all the comments and feedback during this writing process.

I would also like to thank all my classmates who I have gotten to learn during this program. I am so grateful for all the support from you.

A very special thank you to the participants I interviewed who made it possible for me to write this thesis.

Table of Contents INTRODUCTION ...... 1 RESEARCH QUESTIONS ...... 2 METHODS AND METHODOLOGY ...... 3 MATERIAL ...... 5 BACKGROUNDS OF THE PARTICIPANTS INTERVIEWED ...... 6 REFLEXIVITY ...... 7 THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK ...... 8 PREVIOUS RESEARCH ...... 11 RESEARCH ON THE WEDDING DRESS IN SWEDEN ...... 14 BACKGROUND ...... 16 THE WHITE DRESS ...... 16 THE CROWN AND VEIL ...... 18 OUTLINE OF ANALYSIS ...... 20 INTRODUCTION TO ANALYSIS ...... 21 FINDING THE DRESS ...... 22 SUMMARY ...... 25 CHAPTER 1. ETIQUETTE – A STYLISH PERFORMANCE OF MODESTY ...... 26 THE PERFORMANCE OF MODESTY ...... 30 THE SHORT DRESS ...... 33 SUMMARY ...... 35 CHAPTER 2. PERFORMING AS A BRIDE IN TULLE ...... 36 TULLE – A COMFORTABLE FEMININITY ...... 36 UTKLÄDD IN TULLE ...... 40 FRICTION ...... 43 DRESSING FOR THE BODY ...... 45 SUMMARY ...... 48 CHAPTER 3. DIFFERENT PERFORMANCES – DIFFERENT IDENTITIES ...... 49 THE CINDERELLA BRIDE ...... 49 DIFFERENT IDENTITIES ...... 53 WHEN THE CEREMONY IS OVER ...... 56 SUMMARY ...... 57 FINAL CONCLUSION ...... 59 FUTURE RESEARCH ...... 62 REFERENCES ...... 63 APPENDIX ...... 68

Introduction

The wedding dress has been described as the highest expression of ceremony and feast.1 Being worn in a ritual that marks a transition of the marital status, the wedding dress is a material object that is and has been embedded with different meanings. Approximately 50 000 couples have gotten married annually in Sweden during the last couple of years. A peak in marriages could be noted in 2010, when 57 000 couples got married.2 The wedding dress plays a vital role for women getting married. This is true both for those who adhere to traditional values and etiquette rules as well as for those who are unconcerned with said values and rules. Today, it is often worn only during the wedding ceremony, albeit eternalized in wedding pictures. In haute couture shows, the last model often ends the show in bridal fashion.3 Even though the wedding dress can be designed in different forms, some common themes are often noted. As the author Angela Rundquist noted, the silhouettes and proportions in festive and ceremonial dresses are embedded in the essence of fashion and continues to live in myths, fairy tales, movies and theatres.4 Due to these cultural images of the wedding dress, it can convey attitudes and values of the wearer, who may choose to embrace these traditions or reject them. As Susanne Friese puts it, “Via its symbolic and rhetorical power, the wedding dress has the ability to articulate or to display, conceal or to hide or simply to blur emotions, attitudes and values.”5 However, it can also emphasize the aspects of performance, in contrast to clothes worn in our everyday lives. Previous research on the wedding dress in Sweden has studied the dress as a part of the wedding ceremony. This thesis focused solely on the wedding dress as a material object, thus filling this gap. By conducting qualitative interviews and studying etiquette books, this thesis investigated how values connected to the dress as an object could be conveyed in the 21st century in Sweden. The aim of this thesis was to explore the meaning of wearing a wedding dress in Sweden during the 21st century regarding etiquette, symbolism and meaning.

1 Angela Rundquist, ”Klädd som en drottning. Om högtidsstass och festklänningar”, in Modets metamorfoser, den klädda kroppens identiteter och förvandlingar, (ed.) Lizette Gradén and Magdalena Petersson McIntyre (Carlsson Bokförlag: Stockholm, 2009), 239. 2 “Gifta i Sverige”, SCB, last modified March 31, 2021, https://www.scb.se/hitta-statistik/sverige-i- siffror/manniskorna-i-sverige/gifta-i-sverige/ 3 Connie Wang, “An Explanation About the Random “Bride” During Couture Shows”, Refinery29, July 7, 2017, https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/07/162369/couture-runway-bridal-last-look-meaning 4 Rundquist, ”Klädd som en drottning”, 237. 5 Susanne Friese, “The wedding dress: From use value to sacred object”, in Through the Wardrobe: Women’s relationships with their clothes, Ali Guy, Eileen Green and Maura Banim (ed.), (Oxford: Berg, 2001), 57.

1 Research questions

In material culture, an artefact reflects the society and its values.6 When analyzing an object, information can thus be revealed about the society of that time. Even though an object study was not conducted in this thesis, the values and morals connected with the wedding dress as an object can be revealed by analyzing the etiquette rules surrounding it and women’s thoughts on wearing it. The wedding dress is strongly connected to a ritual that changes the marital status of the woman. Even though Sweden is a secularized society, separating the state and church since the year 2000, people who lack faith can still choose to get married in a church without implementing other religious aspects in their lives. A church wedding with a priest can be preferred instead of marrying in a civil ceremony due to various reasons. However, the wedding dress will be related to regardless. This thesis explored how prevailing etiquette rules were conveyed regarding the wedding dress during the 21st century and how they affected the choices women made when selecting their wedding dress. Even though the wedding dress was the primary focus of this thesis, the crown and veil, as well as other accessories relating to the wedding dress was also added in this aspect of etiquette. Ideas of femininity and cultural connections to the dress was included when analyzing how women in Sweden related to the dress. I refer to the notion of being dressed out, wearing a costume or being dressed as someone else with the Swedish word utklädd. To be utklädd means to both wear a costume such as dressing for a masquerade and to dress like someone else, not yourself. As the concept of being utklädd can cover different aspects, I found that the English translation of the word did not convey this. As this thesis focused on weddings in Sweden, I found that the Swedish word embraced these different aspects of performances better. Since the wedding dress is usually worn only during the ceremony, it differs from everyday clothes, as there are other expectations connected with it. Therefore, the wedding dress was also analyzed as a material object regarding how it can function in regards to the woman’s sense of identity. My research questions were:

6 Jules David Prown, “Mind in Matter, An Introduction to Material Culture Theory and Method”, in Winterthur Portfolio, Vol. 17, No. 1 (Spring, 1982), 1 -2.

2 • How did the notion of etiquette and modesty affect the choice of wedding dress in the beginning of the 21st century in Sweden? • How did the wedding dress function as an extended self and what cultural connections were embedded in it? • In what ways could the wedding dress be talked about in the sense of a masquerade and being utklädd?

Methods and methodology

The subjective viewpoints of seven women regarding their wedding dresses and the associations that arose around them were examined by using qualitative interviews as a method. As is stated by Torkild Thanem and David Knights in Embodied Research Methods, qualitative interviews open up for a more authentic conversation with the participant. In contrast to quantitative interviews, the qualitative interview is less mechanical. Discussions and conversations also allow emotional responses, where gestures and facial expressions become a part of the interview. The interview itself is not only about asking questions and writing down the answers; it is an embodied encounter.7 Kerry. E Howard presents three different ways of using interviews as a method. The structured interview is an interview with standardized questions. This type of interview limits the interviewer’s own biases. However, it can be restricting since it does not allow for any unknown developments. The semi-structured interview is structured in the sense that some questions are standardized. These can be adapted and, as a result, allow the interview to change in different directions. The unstructured interview, however, does not have fixed questions. It is more of an open conversation, making it a more helpful method for an experienced interviewer.8 In this thesis, I used semi-structured interviews in order to not limit the possible information gained from the participant, as I wanted to adapt a bit to unexpected subjects that could show up during the interview. As personalities differ, the semi-structured interview also provided a more relaxed conversation since I did not want to make any of the participants uncomfortable. It also allowed me to adjust my questions according to what the participants chose to share with me. Since I attended a journalism course before writing this thesis, I felt confident enough to do a semi-structured interview. However, I did experience hesitation and was unsure of what to ask sometimes when the participant went

7 Torkild Thanem and David Knights, Embodied Research Methods, (London: Sage Publications, 2019), 81-81, 90. 8 Kerry. E. Howell, An Introduction to the Philosophy of Methodology, (London: Sage Publishers, 2013), 199.

3 quiet. To further avoid this, I wrote down some questions on paper and placed it beside my computer to look at as a guideline when this happened. These were also questions that I often started with in the beginning of the interview, albeit slightly adapted to each participant. 9 In my pursuit for participants, I decided to use the app Instagram and made a post where I asked for married women to interview. I wrote: “I am looking for married or previously married women to interview regarding their wedding dresses! I will write my master’s thesis in Fashion Studies soon, which will centre around clothes connected with rituals. I have chosen to focus on the ritual aspect of the wedding dress in Sweden and want to use qualitative interviews as a part of my research method. I plan on conducting the interviews in February. I would like to see the wedding dress if that is a possibility, but doing the interviews on zoom works as well. The participant can be anonymous if they want to.”10 Two followers shared the post on their feed, which made it visible for people who did not follow me or knew me personally. Four of the participants chosen followed me on Instagram, while three of the participants came in contact with my post thanks to others sharing it. Even though four of the women followed me on Instagram, I did not know them personally and had only communicated with them remotely on the Internet. Only one of the participants was someone I knew personally and had spent some time with due to belonging to the same book club a couple of years ago. A problem with knowing a participant can be that the interviewer may be afraid and hindered to ask specific questions. I did, however, not experience this problem since I had some questions written down that all participants were asked. My initial plan was to interview only three women, visit the participants in their own homes, and combine my method with an object study. Unfortunately, due to the Covid-19 pandemic, I decided to have all my interviews conducted digitally on Zoom instead. I did, however, visit one participant since she invited me to her home of her own will, which I gladly accepted. As Philip Warkander states in his dissertation, This is all plastic. "To discuss events and feelings while looking at, sometimes even holding and touching, an actual garment in a person's closet helps articulate feelings which otherwise would have been hard to get at."11

9 See Appendix 1. 10 In Swedish: ”Jag söker gifta eller tidigare gifta kvinnor att intervjua angående deras bröllopsklänningar! Jag kommer skriva min masteruppsats i Modevetenskap snart, vilken handlar om kläder kopplade till ritualer. Jag har valt att fokusera på bröllopsklänningens ritualistiska aspekt i Sverige, och tänkte använda mig av kvalitativa intervjuer som en del av min forskningsmetod. Jag tänkte att intervjuerna sker i februari. Om möjlighet finns skulle jag gärna vilja titta på klänningen, men att intervjua via zoom går också bra. Intervjuobjektet får vara anonym om den vill. Om du skulle vilja hjälpa mig med detta, eller känner någon, vänligen kontakta mig här eller på […].” 11 Philip Warkander, 2013 ”’This is all fake, this is all plastic, this is me’: a study of the interrelations between style, sexuality and gender in contemporary Stockholm” (PhD diss. Stockholm: Stockholm University), 62.

4 Since this was not possible, I chose to interview more women than I had first planned to. This turned out to be beneficial as it allowed me explore further common themes relating to the dress which I could analyze in a more general view. This thesis aims to highlight aspects of the wedding dress as a material object as well as the etiquette and values associated with it. All the participants were under the age of 30 when they got married, except for one participant who remarried at the age of 34. The weddings took place between 2009-2020, approximately a decade. The period and the ages of the participants allowed me to focus specifically on the “millennial” generation. Had the participants been in a more varied age, other factors could have been included, such as changes in the bridal fashions during different generations. A short description of the participants is presented here12:

Kim Married in 2020 Age 29 at the wedding

Karolina Married in 2017 Age 28 at the wedding

Liv Married in 2017 Age 27 at the wedding

Beatrice Married in 2016 Age 29 at the wedding

Saga Married in 2015 Age 25 at the wedding

Helene Married in 2013 Age 28 at 1st wedding Remarried in 2019 Age 34 at 2nd wedding Lovisa Married in 2009 Age 24 at the wedding

Material

The transcribed interviews conducted were my primary sources of material for this thesis. Etiquette books on weddings written at the beginning of the 21st were also part of the material. The etiquette in the 21st century was compared with advice on what to wear at weddings in the 19th century. These written guidelines functioned as material in history and contextualised the view of modesty and etiquette prevailing in Sweden during the 21st century.

12 Some names of the participants have been changed.

5 If one searches for books on etiquette in the Swedish library database, there is one name dominating the results: the late author, journalist and etiquette expert Magdalena Ribbing, born in 1940 and passed away in 2017. Ribbing was influential in Sweden regarding etiquette rules and had her own column in the news magazine Dagens Nyheter, where readers could ask questions on etiquette. Ribbing answered all kinds of questions, from table manners to what to wear at formal events. Ribbing also worked as a commentator on the Nobel party and weddings within the royal house. She also lectured in many fields of expertise, such as family history and jewellery art.13 Ribbing was very influential and knowledgeable in the rules of etiquette. Her retelling of rules about dressing was chosen due to her influential position in Sweden during this period. While Ribbing in this aspect can be considered a mediator, knowledgeable of these rules, I do not claim that she is a creator or an open advocate of them. Ribbing is a part of the everyday discourse in contemporary Swedish society regarding wedding etiquette. The litterature selected by Ribbing is: Ja! allt om bröllop: från frieri till morgongåva (2002), Bröllopsboken (2009), Stora stunder – Etikett för fest och högtid (2013). A question answered in Dagens Nyheter has also been included in the material, as well as three numbers of the Swedish fashion magazine Freja: illustrerad skandinavisk modetidning from 1876, 1881 and 1890.

Backgrounds of the participants interviewed

Lovisa got married in Tokyo at the Swedish Embassy in 2009, at the age of 24. She had dated her husband for one year before he proposed, and the couple was engaged for one year before getting married. Both Lovisa and her husband wore engagement rings that they bought together. Her wedding dress was short, with layers of tulle at the bottom and a sleeveless top. Lovisa bought her wedding dress at a second-hand shop in central Stockholm. It had previously been a party dress and was light yellow. She wore the wedding dress at a cocktail party some years after the wedding. Helene married the first time in Uppsala, in a church ceremony, in 2013: she was then 28 years old. Her husband proposed to her. At this wedding, Helene wore a white dress with a corset-shaped top with lace and embroideries that she bought at a bridal store in Göteborg. The bottom of the dress was supported by a tulle underskirt, creating a voluminous effect. Helene

13 Katarina Ek-Nilsson, ”Magdalena Ribbing”, Svenskt kvinnobiografiskt lexikon, November 10, 2020, www.skbl.se/sv/artikel/MagdalenaRibbing

6 wore a separate top to cover her shoulders in church and a veil placed low on her head. Helene got married a second time in 2019 with another man, who proposed to her early in the relationship. She was 34 years old at her second wedding, and Helene had converted to Catholicism before meeting her new husband. She had planned on wearing a white, silk nightgown that she bought in Venice, plus a veil. When she found out that she was pregnant, she changed to a white fitted dress instead. Saga married 25 years old in a church in Hälsingland, a province in Sweden, in 2015. She wore a black dress, with colorful shawls and flowers, following the local costume tradition for 19th-century weddings in Hälsingland. With help from friends and acquaintances in the village, she sewed the dress herself. Beatrice married at a church ruin in Gotland in Sweden with a civil ceremony when she was 29 years old, in 2016. It was her husband who proposed, and the engagement lasted two years. Beatrice wore a white, tailored lace dress from the designer Ida Sjöstedt and bought a tulle skirt at a bridal store in central Stockholm to wear with the tailored dress. Karolina had a church wedding in Värmdö in Stockholm in 2017 when she was 28 years old. It was Karolina’s wife who proposed, and the engagement lasted one year before the wedding. Karolina wore a short, white dress with layered tulle, bought at a bridal store in central Stockholm. After proposing to her husband, Liv got married in 2017 at a church in Värmdö when she was 27 years old. The engagement lasted one year and a half. She inherited a wedding dress from her grandmother, a knee-length white dress with short sleeves. However, Liv bought another dress to wear at the ceremony. This dress was light blue, with long length and sleeves, which Liv found more appropriate to wear in church. Kim married at Skansen in Stockholm in a civil ceremony year 2020 when she was 28 years old. The ceremony had to be outside due to the pandemic, and she only had 15 guests. She and her husband had been together for 12 years before getting married and were engaged for one year. Her husband proposed without a wedding ring. Kim wore a layered tulle skirt that she ordered from Etsy, tailored for her. The skirt was worn with a short lace dress. The dress was white, with some light pink layers in the tulle skirt.

Reflexivity

As a researcher, my own experiences and the culture that I grew up in may have affected the interpretations that unfolded while conducting the interviews. Reflexivity allows the researcher

7 to locate themselves within the research. Howell clarifies this as identifying one's sociohistorical location and becoming aware of one's historical perspective of the situation or problems during the analysis. Reflexivity thus challenges the researcher to reflect and be aware of one's ideology and culture, incorporating a dialogue about past experiences with present perspectives and future possibilities. Previous experiences are thus evaluated under the research process.14 This requires an awareness of the self that can only be partial, which Howard states can lead to criticism of "narcissistic self-centeredness”.15 While there are suggestions of simply not reflecting on the context and one's self, Howard suggests that the researcher can avoid being criticized as self-absorbed by acknowledging oneself as part of a broader social and political context that the researcher is constitutionally linked to.16 As a person who has never been married, I cannot relate to buying or wearing a wedding dress. My view of the ritual and transformative aspect of the dress is shaped by popular culture, images and information about wedding dresses as well as accounts from friends and relatives. My own biases concerning the dress stem from the culture I grew up in. My own prejudices regarding the wedding dress as an essential part of a wedding ceremony is not rooted in my own experiences of planning a wedding, but is rather a product of the culture I grew up in. This kind of empirical knowledge shaped my view of the dress as an important ceremonial factor before conducting the interviews. The structuring of questions and interpretation of the participants' answers are shaped by my subjective knowledge and view of the wedding dress.

Theoretical framework

As fashion is a multidisciplinary field, different theories have been combined in this thesis when researching the role of the wedding dress. These theories have been integrated with each other to broaden the understanding of how the wedding dress as an object can be studied in different layers. The thesis combines thoughts from material culture, sociology and cultural theory when analyzing the wedding dress worn by women in Sweden during the 21st century. Material culture offers an understanding of how possessions contribute to ourselves, and how ideas, attitudes and values of a society are studied through artefacts. The term material culture is also used when referring to the artefacts themselves.17 Researchers Sophie Woodward

14 Howell, An Introduction to the Philosophy of Methodology, 185. 15 Ibid. 16 Ibid. 17 Prown, “Mind in Matter.”, 1.

8 and Tom Fisher suggest that fashion studies must include both the cultural and material elements in fashion and advocate for focusing on material characteristics and the practices that materialize fashion.18 When we wear clothes and feel comfortable in them, they express or change the self. In this sense, clothes do not represent us but “are” us, as we question who we are or who we can be while engaging with them.19 Woodward and Fisher question the western dichotomy between the surface and the inner immaterial self, where the outer surfaces are deemed unimportant.20 With this in mind, the wedding dress is, like other clothes worn in everyday life, a part of the woman’s self. In his article "Culture and Consumption: A Theoretical Account of the Structure and Movement of the Cultural Meaning of Consumer Goods", Grant McCracken suggests that we are what we have, which is the most basic and powerful fact of consumer behaviour. He states that we define and remind ourselves of who we are by our possessions, which also function to remind ourselves of experiences and accomplishments and to create a sense of immortality after death. Our possessions tell us who we are, where we come from and where we are going.21 Objects connected with rituals are often not discarded. The reason for saving an object can be due to its emotional value or that a large amount of money was spent when purchasing it. The wedding dress is only supposed to be worn when attending the wedding ceremony but is often hold on to for a long time afterwards. As the dress itself is an artefact, material culture provides different aspects of looking at the meanings embedded within it. The dress is worn during a ceremony when the couple celebrates marriage. Therefore, it functions as an object that transforms the woman from a single state to a married one. However, the dress can also function as an aid in transferring the woman from one social group to another. It is also a material manifestation of this marital and social change. A sociologist perspective has also been implemented from Erving Goffman, who studied everyday interactions and created a discourse by mixing anecdotal evidence, novels, biographies and statistical data. In The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, the concept of performance is introduced. Interactions are analyzed by the notion of self-presentation and dramaturgical metaphors. Clothes, body language and props support this performance.22 When

18 Sophie Woodward and Tom Fisher, ”Fashioning through materials: Material Culture, materiality and process of materialization”, in Critical Studies of Fashion and Beauty, Vol. 5, Issue 1, (October 2014) 14. 19 Ibid., 9. 20 Ibid,.12. 21 Grant McCracken, 1986. "Culture and Consumption: A Theoretical Account of the Structure and Movement of the Cultural Meaning of Consumer Goods”, in The Journal of Consumer Research, Vol. 13, No. 1. (June 1986), pp. 71–84. 22 Efrat Tsëelon, “Erving Goffman: Social Science as an Art of Cultural Observation”, in Thinking through fashion, a guide to key theorists, (ed.) Agnes Rocamora and Anneke Smelik, (London: I.B Tauris, 2016), 149-152.

9 an individual performs in front of others, his actions will affect the definition of the situation that they will conclude. Goffman states that the individual will act in a calculating way to achieve the impression that he thinks will induce a special kind of reaction in others. Thus, when an individual performs, he expects the public to take the impression he creates seriously, meaning that the public is expected to believe that the person they see possesses the characteristics that he performs.23 To perform as a bride is not more of a performance than what is presented in our everyday life; however, it is practiced less often and can require more guidelines and rules, aided by etiquette books. The cultural theorist Efrat Tsëelon states that normative expectations assist performances, ranging from which body parts can be exposed or covered. These norms also include proper posture, style, and guidelines about the formal dress. The reason for these managements of our impressions is to secure collaboration between participants to avoid shame, humiliation and embarrassment.24 Etiquette and traditions surrounding the wedding dress reveal that there are norms attached to the dress as an object. This also reveals what kind of performances are expected of brides in Sweden. Drawing upon the theory of performance elaborated by Goffman, Tsëelon analyzes different aspects of femininity from a psychological, sociological and historical viewpoint. The notion of decency in clothes is also analyzed from a perspective of female morality, where Tsëelon gives a historical view of fashion and moral virtue. She states that an important distinction has been between the noble lady and the prostitute.25 As the wedding ceremony marks the difference between single and married, the etiquette rules of the wedding dress in Sweden are analyzed in the view of modesty and decency. As Joanne Entwistle states in The Fashioned Body, attention to bodily differences is highly emphasized in clothing. Clothing as an aspect of culture is a crucial feature in the production of masculinity and femininity, but the connotations of femininity and masculinity vary in different cultures.26 The wedding dress is a prime example of how connotations of femininity are displayed in contrast to the groom's attire. In this view, the heterosexual wedding upholds a dress code that emphasizes the gendered roles expected of women and men during this ritual. A perspective of gender adds an understanding of how the dress as a garment conveys the femininity expected of a woman during her wedding day.

23 Erving Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, (London: Penguin, 1990 [1959]), 28. 24 Tsëelon, ”Erving Goffman”, 152–153. 25 Efrat Tsëelon, Kvinnan och maskerna, trans. Björn Nilsson, (Lund: Studentlitteratur, 1998), [1995], 23. 26 Joanne Entwistle, The fashioned body: Fashion, Dress and Modern Social Theory, (Cambridge, Polity Press. 2nd ed., 2015), [2000], 140-145.

10 Previous research

Research on rituals and dresses of weddings has not been hard to find. I have also found much written on how fashion has affected the dress, as well as the history of the white dress in the west. However, these sources have not dealt with Sweden or Swedish subjects in particular. Author Edwina Ehrman, who works as curator at the Victoria and Albert Museum, covers the history of the wedding dress in Britain from the 18th century to present day in The Wedding dress, 300 years of bridal fashions.27 Author Harriet Worsley, is more engaged with how fashion changes has affected wedding dresses in the 20th century, and connects the wedding dresses to the different tropes regarding brides, where each chapter in her book is dedicated to these tropes, such as “The Fairytale Princess”, “The Goddess”, “The Damsel” etc.28 As my thesis aims to investigate the notion of wearing a wedding dress in Sweden, my main focus has been to find sources on weddings and wedding dresses associated with the west, as this was more relevant for my research. However, research on wedding dresses across other cultures has also been valuable. In Wedding Dress Across Cultures, different contributors have shared short essays regarding the role of the wedding dress in different areas of the world. Tiziana and Gianni Baldizzone also describe different symbols and costumes in Wedding Ceremonies.29

Research on the wedding dress

Articles on weddings from ritual studies, ethnography, family studies and psychology have included and sometimes emphasized the wedding dress for women as an essential factor in their studies. Qualitative interviews as a method have also been used as a method when researching the dress. In a study from Canada, "Here Comes the Bride", the author Dawn H. Currie concluded that bridal magazines were an essential factor for women regarding how to act and behave at the wedding. Since the brides focused on behaving correctly according to social expectations, they read bridal magazines and other books.30 However, the bridal magazines also encouraged the brides to spend more money than initially planned, making them critical of their own unexpected conspicuous consumption level. 31

27 Edwina Ehrman, The Wedding dress: 300 years of bridal fashions, (London: V&A Publishing, 2011). 28 Harriet Worsley, The White dress, (London: Laurence King, 2009). 29 Helen Bradley Foster and Donald Clay Johnson (ed.), Wedding Dress Across Cultures, (Oxford: Berg, 2003). Tiziana & Gianni Baldizzone, Wedding ceremonies, ethnic symbols, costume and rituals, (Paris: Flammarion, 2001). 30 Dawn H. Currie, "Here Comes the Bride”: The Making of a "Modern Traditional" Wedding in Western Culture, in Journal of Comparable Family Studies, Vol. 24, No, 3, (Autumn 1993), 410-419. 31 Ibid. 415-416.

11 Susanna Friese focused on women getting married for the first time in her research on marriage as a ritual in "A Consumer Good in the Ritual Process: The Case of the Wedding Dress". Interviews and observations in a bridal store functioned as a method in this study. The study showed that women looked for wedding dresses in the first stage of the ritual (being proposed to). Women who otherwise did not dress up stated that they felt "allowed" to try on all the fairy tale wedding gowns they had previously seen only in magazines.32 The dress proved to be an essential aspect of the ritual, but some participants expressed feeling confused about what they were supposed to do after the wedding.33 These studies on weddings were conducted in 1993 and 1997 and highlight the consumption practices of weddings, where magazines and the bridal store had a significant influence. Research of the wedding from an evolutionary psychological perspective explains the rituals as a form of reproductive contract. In "Marriage as a reproductive ritual", the rituals and ceremonies are stated by Professor Rebecka L Burch as universal, even if many variations occur. Burch states that there is a focus placed on the fertility of the couple in wedding rituals worldwide. That marriages not consummated can be annulled in Christianity is an example of this.34 This evolutionary theory states that since women make a more significant amount of parental investment in the offspring, their strategies are to choose a partner willing to invest resources and commitment toward aiding in child-rearing. According to this evolutionary perspective, chastity, virginity and fidelity have been prioritized for men when choosing a long- term partner due to paternal uncertainty. Therefore, fertility symbols are used in wedding rituals, albeit in varied ways for different cultures35 The white wedding dress connected with virginity would be an example of this symbolism. A more recent study from 2013 examined the gender roles in weddings both structurally and interactionally in "Examining Wedding Rituals through a Multidimensional Gender Lens." In this study, the author Emily Fairchild emphasized that weddings were talked about as the bride's occasion, and that they were expected to correspond to the feminine role of being a bride.36 The study focused on the gendered perspective of weddings. Even though the couples adhered to traditional aspects of the wedding, some things were changed to fit the

32 Susanne Friese, “A Consumer Good in the Ritual Process”, in Journal of Ritual Studies, Vol. 11, No. 2 (Winter 1997), 49–50. 33 Ibid., 55–58. 34 Rebecca L. Burch, “The Wedding as a reproductive ritual” in Review of General Psychology, (March 2019) 382-398. 35 Ibid.,”, 382-398. 36 Emily Fairchild, “Examining Wedding Rituals through a Multidimensional Gender Lens: The Analytic Importance of Attending to (In)consistency” in Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, (May 2013), 366.

12 couples own views. Some examples were the absence of the father walking the bride down the aisle".37 These examples convey how a qualitative approach was conducted in some previous research of the wedding ceremony. However, the focus is on the ceremony and not the dress itself. Even if the wedding dress is a significant factor in these studies, especially for Friese, it is not the principal theme. The aspect of heterosexuality embedded in our culture, emphasized by the wedding, is investigated by Chrys Ingraham in White Weddings – Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture. Ingraham states that popular culture plays up the wedding as an end goal in many television shows, which can both start with a wedding or end with a wedding. The consumerist perspective is accentuated in Ingraham’s study of the wedding, which includes the wedding dress. As she puts it, the bride's apparel becomes the centerpiece of the white wedding.38 The notion of a white wedding is, however, not limited to the dress. The term “white wedding” refers to the fact that wedding magazines in the U.S are aimed at white, middle-class women. Ingraham emphasizes that there is evidence of racial segregation and institutional racism, which affects the images displayed in wedding advertising, where white brides and couples are predominant.39 When looking through wedding magazines during my writing of this thesis, I noticed that this is very true for wedding magazines in Sweden as well.40 The lack of representation in the wedding industry can create anxieties and exclusion when one does not fit the molded role of a bride that is presented by the media. Ilya Parkins analyzes textual representation of wedding apparel in a 2020 article on a feminist blog. The article “You’ll never regret going bold, the moods of wedding apparel on a practical wedding”, refers to a wedding blog named “A Practical Wedding” created in 2008 as a personal wedding planning blog. The blog criticizes the white wedding dress and its values, which causes limited options and imposes a limited vision of womanhood and femininity. People who do not adhere to the norms connected with weddings can have a hard time getting ”in the mood”, since weddings perform gendered, raced, and classed exclusions.41 An

37 Ibid., 384. 38 Chrys Ingraham, White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture. (New York: Routledge, 2008), 59. 39 Ibid., 53. 40 Anna Storm (ed.) Bröllopsmagasinet – Sveriges största bröllopsmagasin. (Autumn, 2020). In this issue, there are only white, young women modeling the wedding dresses. Even though this thesis does not only interview straight women, there is a lack of diversity in women interviewed in my thesis as well which will be addressed in the section for future research. 41 Ilya Parkins,” You’ll Never Regret Going Bold”: The Moods of Wedding Apparel on a Practical Wedding, Fashion Theory (April 2020), 2.

13 example of being “in the mood” can be to feel beautiful. Parkins states that the blog makes a connection between dress and mood. The participants of a wedding need to feel at ease with their identities to get “in the mood”. Bodies that do not adhere to the notion of femininity, for example, might struggle at weddings as femininity is so emphasized during the ritual. The wedding dress can then become a struggle, and getting “in the mood” will be challenging. The blog wants to help people find attire that expresses their own values which often are in contrast with what can be found in mainstream media, for example in wedding magazines and movies.42

Research on the wedding dress in Sweden

I have not found research focusing solely on the wedding dress in Sweden in the field of fashion studies. However, studies from the ethnological and sociological fields regarding the wedding practices include the notion of choosing a wedding dress and the rituals surrounding it. Eva Knuts investigates every aspect of the wedding relating to the ceremony, from proposal to wedding in her dissertation “Något gammalt, något nytt – skapandet av bröllopsföreställningar.”. As an ethnologist, Knuts uses a theoretical perspective as a contrast to the positivist view.43 By conducting interviews as a part of her method, Knuts also uses websites, magazines, popular texts and personal anecdotes to approach her subject. One chapter is dedicated to the wedding dress, which Knuts describes as the beginning of the transformation of the brides. As this book covers the whole wedding from proposal to the ceremony, the dress is examined in how it prepares the bride for the wedding. The dress is a crucial aspect of the wedding, and none of the participants skipped this part, which came early in the planning. By doing interviews in the bridal store, information on trends when writing her thesis is revealed, which are said to be conservative and cautious. Knuts also reflects on how the dress functions as a way of stating personal values. For example, if one chooses a civil ceremony, it is more accepted not to wear a white dress, as is exemplified in an answer by one of the participants interviewed. Another participant highlights how she does not want to be a “princess” at her wedding; she only wants to be attractive in it. Knuts concludes that the brides did not want to appear flamboyant or artificial, and the most popular and fashionable look at the time seemed to be a simple one. Even though the magazines had alternatives for pants, all of the participants chose to wear a skirt or dress. However, the notion of choosing the correct dress according to

42 Parkins, “You’ll Never Regret Going Bold”, 1–15. 43 Eva Knuts, ”Något gammalt, något nytt: skapandet av bröllopsföreställningar: [en avhandling om klänningar, ringar, smink, frisyrer, foton & mycket mer]”, (PhD diss, Göteborg: Mara, 2006), 34.

14 one’s body type was necessary for her participants. The dress can enhance and conceal what one does and does not want the public to see. Knuts herself tried wedding dresses in a bridal store and reflected on how her body looked in the different dresses. As she states, the dresses held the body straight, giving it a stiff posture. Knuts states that the dress becomes like an assistant in the process and is expected to aid the bride on the wedding day by holding, supporting and revealing the bride’s most beautiful sides.44 Karin Jarnkvist has investigated the meanings created in the wedding, and the stories about them in her PhD thesis from 2011 “När jag gifter mig ska jag göra det på riktigt – berättelser om barn, brudar och bröllop.” Jarnkvist has also used qualitative interviews as a method and utilizes class and gender as central perspectives. In her section regarding the wedding dress, the bride's idea of being beautiful in a white dress is a straightforward concept when speaking with her participants. Movies, however, also play a role, as the participants wanted to conduct the wedding as they had seen it presented in movies.45 Her interviews reveal that brides that are not getting married in church mark their distance from the classic bridal dress but still wear symbols related to being a bride. As an example, a beautiful white dress is still important.46 One bride stated that she had tried to find information on the web regarding what to wear and that she had to relate to her body shape when choosing a dress.47 Jarnkvist writes that the woman is placed in a role of being a responsible "upcoming princess".48 Jarnkvist also notices that many grooms anticipate seeing their woman extra beautiful on the wedding day. The dress and hairdo get a symbolic meaning, symbolizing the bride's will to take the groom as her man.49 By referring to the sociologist Pierre Bourdieu, Jarnkvist emphasizes that being correctly dressed supplies the bride and groom with symbolic capital since taste is a part of Bourdieu’s concept of the habitus. Wedding clothes are therefore essential for the status of the individual.50 As Jarnkvist states, even though the couples who marry in the City Hall break with the norms of a "real" wedding, they still express traditionalism when they use symbolisms connected to church weddings, such as the white dress and rings.51 Jarnkvist concludes that structures of class and sex interact together on many levels and create complex

44 Knuts, ”Något gammalt något nytt”, 64–77. 45Karin Jarnkvist, ”Som på film – filmens betydelse för brudparets berättelser om sina bröllop.”, in Svensk kyrkotidning, No. 4, (2013), 70-72. 46 Karin Jarnkvist, ”När jag gifter mig ska jag göra det på riktigt: Berättelser om barn, brudar och bröllop.” (PhD diss, Umeå: Umeå universitet, 2011), 112. 47 Jarnkvist, ”När jag gifter mig ska jag göra det på riktigt”, 113. 48 Ibid., 114. 49 Ibid., 116. 50 Ibid., 116. 51 Ibid., 132.

15 systems of power. Brides and grooms have norms in both the overall wedding field and respective subfield to relate to. The actions of individuals, in this case, the clothes, bring about normalization and marginalization on all levels.52 As these PhDs are focused on the wedding ceremony, the wedding dress occupies only one chapter rather than being the sole focus. However, the studies broaden the understanding of the process of picking a dress in Sweden. The research on wedding dresses in Sweden is limited, as these two PhDs were the only available regarding the ritual role of the wedding dress in Sweden. Previous research on the wedding dress has, as we have seen, been aimed at the wedding ceremony in general, and research on the wedding dress as the main actor is lacking. Even though the dress is connected to the wedding ceremony, this thesis focuses specifically on the dress as a material object, and thus fills this gap.

Background

The white dress

The white wedding dress is a common choice for weddings today in Sweden. Many people connect a bride's image with a long and white dress, causing the color white to be an obvious choice. A search for “wedding dresses” on the site Pinterest reveals slim, young women in white, long and laced dresses. It is clear that the popularity of wearing a white dress will remain for a while, albeit with subtle variations of shade. The white dress has, however, not always been the obvious choice when marrying. In the 18th century, bridal dresses in Sweden displayed a color splendor and was worn on occasions other than just the wedding. It could also be one- colored, in black or white. Even though black was the most common choice for a wedding dress before the beginning of the 19th century, the white dress was occasionally worn by the higher classes during the 18th and 17th century.53 The white wedding dress had its breakthrough within the Swedish nobility in Sweden at the beginning of the 19th century due to the empire fashion style, with its white dresses made of light weight fabrics.54 In the 18th century, white and silver wedding dresses were fashionable in aristocratic circles.55 Queen Sofia Magdalena’s wedding dress when marrying King Gustav III in 1766, was made of a silver fabric with flowers and leaves.56 The white color had, however, started to

52 Ibid., 188. 53 Lars Bondeson, Seder och bruk vid bröllop, (Stockholm: Verbum, 1988), 94. 54 Jan-Öjvind Swahn and Anne Bergman, Folk i fest, traditioner i norden, (Stockholm: Fören. Norden, 2000), 102. 55 Ehrman, The wedding dress, 41. 56 “Queen Sofia Magdalena’s dress”, Livrustkammaren, accessed March 3, 2021.

16 dominate in the wedding gowns of the princely couples already in the renaissance, where the white color symbolized purity, virginity and the divine light in the Christian tradition. Silver was used for the embroidery and lace in royal ceremonies and had the same symbolic value as the color white.57 It was not only the royal women in Sweden who were wearing silver or white on their wedding day, Swedish princes also wore silver or white at their weddings until the 19th century. Traditions then shifted in favor of military attire in the 1850’s when Crown Prince Karl wed wearing a uniform that became the common attire for royal grooms after that.58 The marriage between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert in the year 1840 reinforced the popularity of the white wedding dress in Britain as Queen Victoria wore a white satin court dress adorned with lace. The white satin court train was worn instead of the crimson velvet robe of state, and the train was sprinkled with orange blossom. A coronal of artificial orange-blossom with a lace veil pinned at the back was worn instead of a circlet.59 As Queen Victoria’s appearance was spread by the newspapers, wearing a white dress with orange-blossom became fashionable and a symbol of love and purity. The white dress became a norm for the those who could afford it and for those marrying for the first time.60 The black formal dress was worn as a wedding dress by the lower classes in Sweden for a long time in the 20th century, where the white veil was the only item resembling the upper classes' bridal costume.61 The ethnologist Jan-Öjvind Swahn states that brides in the country still got married in their folk costumes during the 19th century. The white dress did not replace the black formal dress since it could not be worn on other occasions. For the working class, the black bridal dress was preferred due to the possibility of using it as both a sorrow-and-weekend- garment.62 This reveals how the aspect of class influenced how the dress’s color was chosen, where its white color was not only a symbol of purity, but also of social status since it could only be worn at one occasion. In the 20th century, however, the white wedding dress became popular for all levels of society.63 The fashions of different eras as well as societal changes, influenced the look of the wedding dress. In the 1920s, the dress was knee-length without arms, but full-length by the 1930s. In the 1960s, the fashionable short skirts influenced the wedding dress. The author Lars https://livrustkammaren.se/en/queen-sofia-magdalenas-dress# 57 Lena Rangström, En brud för kung och fosterland: kungliga svenska bröllop från Gustav Vasa till Carl XVI Gustaf, Stockholm, (Livrustkammaren, 2010), 36–38. 58 Ibid., 326. 59 Ehrman, The wedding dress, 59. 60 Ibid. 61 Bondeson, Seder och bruk vid bröllop, 94. 62 Swahn & Bergman, Folk i fest, traditioner i norden, 102. 63 Jane Fredlund, Så levde vi: fest och vardag i forna dagars Sverige, (Västerås: Ica, 2008), 160.

17 Bondeson emphasizes that the wedding ceremonies had become simpler during the 60s and 70s since brides had more freedom to dress according to their own taste and did not follow books on etiquette. Many couples also lived together without marrying during this time in Sweden.64 This informative book on the history of Swedish weddings, written in 1996, does not fail to give the reader some advice on what is appropriate to wear as well. Bondeson writes that the bride should not wear white but chose another color if she has been married before or if she is far gone in her pregnancy since the color white symbolizes virginity. She should not wear a veil or a crown if she has been married before. The color on the dress is, however, optional, as is the length of it. Bondeson gives a disclaimer that the priest should be warned if the couple chooses to dress too provocatively, so that he will not be too chocked.65 This reveals an attitude towards the symbolism of the dress and what is appropriate to wear in Sweden during the 1990’s, when the white dress seems to be reserved for women who had not been married before.

The crown and veil

Brides in the 16th century wore their hair down with a wreath of myrtle and sometimes a crown. The bride veil did not appear until the beginning of the 19th century for brides in every level of society, who then wore it with a myrtle crown.66 A bridal crown used to be the most important detail for the bride and has been worn since the middle ages and could be borrowed from the church. It symbolized virginity and was linked to the decoration of the bride. After Gustav Vasa was elected King of Sweden in 1523, he subsequently broke ties with Rome and strengthened the economic power of his kingdom with the income from the church’s land, confiscated following the Reformation.67 Many crowns disappeared from the Swedish churches due to the confiscation. However, some of the crowns were agreed upon to be left behind if the congregation compensated the kingdom with some other silver.68 If a bride wanted to borrow a crown from the church, the condition was that she was a virgin. If she had borrowed a crown without being a virgin, fines were imposed. A way to uncover this was if the bride gave birth to a child too soon after the wedding. Bondeson states that the crown was polished very thoroughly in these cases before it was lent to the next bride. A church law from 1686 states

64 Lars Bondeson and Cecilia von Melen, Fira bröllop förr & nu, (Stockholm: Cordia, 1996), 102–103. 65 Ibid., 103. 66 Rangström, En brud för kung och fosterland, 19. 67 Dick Harrison, ”Svensk reformation en segdragen historia”, Svenska Dagbladet, December 16, 2020, https://www.svd.se/svensk-reformation-en-segdragen-historia 68 Bondeson, Seder och bruk, 90.

18 that a woman who has bedded her fiancé before her wedding and still wears the crown had to fine two dales to the church. 69 The symbolism of virginity manifested in the crown can therefore be said to have been guarded carefully. The crown was sometimes worn in combination with a flower wreath. At the end of the 18th century, it was usual that brides from the higher classes wore a myrtle crown.70 According to Jan Fredlund, the myrtle crown replaced the church's bridal crown by the beginning of the 19th century due to the upper classes getting married in their homes instead of the church. Fredlund also emphasizes how the weddings of the upper and middle classes were a popular form of entertainment, in which people from all classes could admire the bride. The people demanded to see the bride when their marriage was held in the houses of the lords and the middle class. This was also a way for the lower classes to get a glimpse of a home they otherwise had no access to. This kind of public entertainment lasted until the year 1870 in Stockholm. If the bride was married in a church, she would be lifted on a big rock and was looked at by the people. As Fredlund emphasizes: the bride just had to accept the comments made of her and her appearance as she was viewed openly by the public.71 This notion of being a part of weddings of higher classes can be compared with how celebrities and royals are displayed on television and magazines, where people from all over the world can discuss and comment on the bride's wedding dress. The tradition of being a part of the weddings of the upper classes can be viewed as a form of entertainment, where the dresses of royals and celebrities are displayed and discussed in different medias all over the world. The wedding between King Carl XVI and Silvia Sommerlath in 1976, for example, was broadcast on television. This was the first wedding of a King in Sweden since 1797. The bride, Silvia, wore a dress sewn by designer Marc Bohan at the House of Dior with a veil of lace. The veil was an heirloom, previously worn by the King’s mother.72 When Lady Diana Spencer got married to Charles, the Prince of wales in 1981, 500 million television viewers across the world were watching. As Ehrman states, the dress created a vision of the Princess of Wales that became embedded in the collective memory, where the designers David and Elizabeth Emanuel aimed for the transformation of her to a “fairy princess”.73

69 Bondeson, Seder och bruk, 91. 70 Ibid., 93. 71 Fredlund, Så levde vi, 156–158. 72 ”Carl XVI Gustaf och Fröken Silvia Sommerlath”, Kungahuset, accessed May 5, 2021. https://www.kungahuset.se/specialwebbsidor/temasidor/kronprinsessparetsbrollop/historikochtraditioner/kunglig abrollop/brollopbernadotte/carlxvigustafochfrokensilviasommerlath.4.1a3366210de661ad20800046262.html 73 Ehrman, The Wedding dress, 154.

19 Outline of analysis

The introduction to the analysis will address briefly what mediums the participants leaned on when searching for a wedding dress and how those mediums influenced their choices. The first chapter discusses the etiquette rules expressed by Magdalena Ribbing, compared with advice for brides on what to wear from the late 19th century. This chapter focuses on how the participants spoke of their wedding dresses in this context and how said etiquette rules could have influenced them, consciously or not. The expression of etiquette in the 21st century is also contextualized and compared to a history of modesty regarding the female body. The concept of modesty is therefore discussed as well in this chapter. The second chapter focuses on the wedding dress in terms of how the participants spoke of the dress relating to their own identity. I analyze the dress’s fabric, shape, and how the participants spoke of themselves when wearing the dress. The fabric and shape of the dress is discussed in this chapter. I also highlight the connection between the body and dress. This chapter also touches upon the notion of identity in regards to ceremonial clothes. The thirds chapter discusses the Cinderella trope associated with weddings and how the participants responded to this trope. The performance of a “Princess wedding” is compared to the 19th century wedding in Hälsingland in regards to being a performance. Finally, the chapter concludes with the concept of identity and the extended self, exemplified with the wedding dress. The conclusion discusses further and wraps the findings in this thesis.

20 Introduction to analysis

When I transcribed the interviews, I found a common theme that I at first could not put my finger on. During the writing of this thesis the concept of being or feeling utklädd stood out to me as an essential part of the experience of wearing a wedding dress. Since Sweden is a secularized society, the symbols relating to the wedding in church can seem outdated, even if they are still used and referred to through the dress. When I have passed by a bridal store in the street, the white wedding dresses have seemed like costumes to me, sticking out like a sore thumb next to the fast-fashion store further down the street. While the dresses in the display window of an average clothing store couldn't seem more different from those in the bridal store, they still have a thing in common. All of them have part in social contexts and interactions, and as we will see, performances. Elizabeth Wilson expresses that “Fashion is dress in which the key feature is rapid and continual changing of styles.”74 The wedding dress, however, seems almost stuck, and changes are slow. It is part of an imagined picture of the past, loaded with values from a different time. It allows one to gaze at and be part of the aesthetics of tradition, while being at a safe distance from past practices. The idea of one’s self is questioned when wearing a garment linked to values and symbols of the past. In contrast to the ever-changing dress of fashion of the contemporary time, the white wedding dress seems like a pastiche. I found that the idea of identity was discussed by some participants when writing this thesis, questioning their sense of self when wearing the wedding dress. Since the wedding dress differs so from ordinary clothes, wearing one is much like an event. It is conspicuous and can make the wearer self- conscious. This thesis uses Goffman’s theory on how every interaction is essentially a performance. With this view, no performance is a more authentic representation of the self than any other. Visiting a friend, or going to a café, is a performance just as getting married, and the clothes picked out for these occasions relate to social expectations or ideas of the self in the same sense. With help from Ibsen, Daniel Miller emphasizes that “[…] we are all onions. If you keep peeling off our layers you find – absolutely nothing left.”75 When visiting a friend, the clothes do not adhere to the authentic self any more than the wedding dress. They are consumer objects, different costumes for different performances signifying different meanings for different occasions. The one difference is that one costume is often considered more

74 Elizabeth Wilson, Adorned in Dreams, (London: Tauris, 2003 [1985]), 3. 75 Daniel Miller, “Why Clothing is not Superficial”, in Stuff, (Cambridge: Polity Press, 2010), 13.

21 authentic than the other.

Finding the dress

In Sweden, bridal stores are available for women who want to shop for a wedding dress, but I found that it was not a common theme to visit them after interviewing my participants. Three wedding ceremonies took place in Stockholm even though all participants except Saga lived in Stockholm during the interviews. Only three of the participants interviewed visited bridal stores in Sweden to search for a dress, while others either sewed their dress or got some parts of the bridal attire tailored. One common factor in preparing for the wedding dress was relying on the web and other media, which functioned as an aid when drawing inspiration or finding out how one was supposed to look like as a bride. One of the participants, Beatrice, had not thought of wedding dresses before her engagement and created a Pinterest account soon after the proposal. Beatrice had visited a bridal store in Central Stockholm but did not find any dresses that she liked. Friends who had recently got married before her recommended starting a Pinterest account. Pinterest was new to her, but she expressed that she found many relevant images after creating an account. Kim had been active on Pinterest for a couple of years, where she had “pinned” images of wedding dresses for years before her wedding. Other websites used were Instagram and Etsy. Liv, who had already inherited a dress from her grandmother, found her second dress by coincidence when scrolling her Instagram feed, where someone was selling the wedding dress that she later wore instead of her grandmother’s dress at the actual ceremony. Bridal magazines were only mentioned being used by one participant incidentally, Helene, but did not seem to have a significant role in her final decision. Woodward and Fisher have described how consumers engage with fashion in new ways through the internet, where screen-based online technologies replace fashion magazines.76 This replacement is also very accurate regarding the bridal magazines, which the participants did not mention. Participants found inspiration and turned to online resources instead of going to bridal stores or flipping through physical magazines, revealing how the web had a more important function in looking for a wedding dress than bridal magazines. The magazine industry has been outnumbered and suffered significant losses in the proportion to the growth of online publications. However, this has caused the wedding industry,

76 Woodward and Fisher, “Fashioning through materials”, 6.

22 among others, to turn to web development instead.77 The screen-based technology replacing fashion magazines seemed to work in the same way regarding wedding dresses in Sweden, where the participants preferred to gain inspiration online. Pinterest also functioned as an entrance road to the possibilities and choices of wedding dresses available to the consumers. As has been mentioned earlier in this thesis, wedding magazines and other media related to weddings market themselves to thin, white, heterosexual women, which causes this group to dominate the content of the magazines. Therefore, it was not helpful for Karolina, who had to specifically type “lesbian weddings” in her search engine for inspiration on her upcoming wedding. However, she looked at Pinterest before booking her appointment with the bridal store to broaden her view of alternatives of wedding dresses.

Pinterest was a lot for me to start pushing my limits. I needed to get used to the fact that I will not be able to get exactly what I have imagined, so it was probably […] that kind of inspiration, to try to broaden my views, but still have a pretty clear picture to be able to show when I go to the store.78

The bridal store visited by Karolina was the same store in Central Stockholm that Beatrice had visited when looking for her wedding dress, and while both of these participants had prepared beforehand by looking at Pinterest, neither of them were fully happy with the visit. Like Beatrice, Karolina did not find the wedding dresses at the bridal store appealing but purchased the only dress resembling what she had in mind when booking a time at the store. Karolina said that she did not want to feel like someone other than herself, but rather a better version of herself. For her, the most important thing was to not feel utklädd, which she felt when trying on dresses that the saleswoman had picked out for her beforehand. Beatrice claimed that she could not find anything that adhered to her taste and decided to have her dress tailored by designer Ida Sjöstedt instead. Jarnkvist emphasized the role of the movie for the bridal couples’ narratives about their weddings, where movies were a source on how a real wedding should be. The weddings in movies were either something to strive for or to go against for the bridal couples. The medial stories are of great importance in creating a wedding narrative and are connected to commercial

77 Ingraham, White Weddings, 128. 78 In Swedish: ”Pinterest var mycket för mig att börja tänja mina gränser typ att jag behövde vänja mig vid att jag inte kommer kunna få exakt det jag har föreställt mig. Så det var väl […] den typen av inspiration, men att försöka vidga mina vyer, men ändå ha en ganska klar bild och kunna visa upp när jag gick till affären.”

23 interests.79 Pinterest and other sources on the web adhere to these narratives on how a wedding should be. Inspiration gained from actresses portrayed in media can also influence the choices of dress. Helene mentioned specifically that Marilyn Monroe influenced her choice in purchasing the wedding dress for her second wedding as she had been looking at a wedding dress worn by her: “But I like both Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly. A cold blonde and a sexier blonde. It is probably those two that are always my style inspiration […].”80 Beatrice decided to purchase a part of her dress at the store, a big tulle skirt since she could not find a dress fitting to her taste. However, Beatrice mentioned that she wanted to wear a traditional white dress:

[…] even though I did not dream of getting married, I still wanted to be decently traditional, that is, as it usually looks. So, it was a white dress, I did not intent to wear a suit, it should be a classic dress.81

The idea of a traditional dress for Beatrice, then, was a white dress. For Saga, however, a traditional dress was the black 19th-century dress. One can argue that the images of weddings in the media create a view of a traditional wedding dress marketed as white. However, Saga was interested in the traditions of Hälsingland, but her interest had started from a movie as well. Saga had seen a theatre play at eight years old. The play had depicted a violinist from the village, and this was the first time that Saga had seen the historical wedding dress of Hälsingland. In her teens, she saw the play as a movie and was fascinated by the wedding depicted in it. She did not think of the movie much after that occasion, but she was firm in her decision of wearing the dress depicted when it was time for her to get married. As a medium, the movie was a part of the choice in wearing the historical wedding dress from the 19th century, as it unlocked and introduced a way of dressing that Saga had not seen before. A light color on the dress was chosen by every other participant, albeit mixed or slightly shaded in another color. Kim emphasized that she wanted to wear a different dress and added some pink layers in her tailored tulle skirt from Etsy. The dress that Liv found on Instagram was light blue, but it could be mistaken for white due to the subtle shade. Lovisa’s dress was light yellow, marked with cigarette burns on the tulle that Lovisa had to repair. Lovisa had not

79 Karin Jarnkvist, ”Som på film”, 70–72. 80 In Swedish: ”Men jag gillar ju både Marilyn Monroe och Grace Kelly. En kylig blondin och en mer sexig blondin. Det är väl de två som är mina stilförebilder alltid […].” 81 In Swedish: ” […] även om jag inte drömt om att gifta mig så har jag ändå velat ha så hyffsat traditionellt, alltså som det brukar se ut, liksom sådär. Så det var en vit klänning, och ändå väldigt, jag tänkte inte direkt ha någon kostym, utan det ska vara en klassisk klänning.”

24 thought of wedding dresses before her wedding and bought her dress, a previous party dress, at a second-hand shop in central Stockholm. Knuts expressed that colored dresses could imply that the wedding would not be traditional in 2004 when talking with her participants about their dresses. However, the bridal store Knuts visited claimed that the bridal fashion was conservative in Sweden, with white dominating the sales. The dresses that the brides chose reflected what kind of wedding they wanted to have, where one participant chose to wear a blue dress, marking her stand against the traditional wedding.82 Lovisa was the only participant wearing a yellow dress and had the least traditional ceremony since she married at the Swedish Embassy in Tokyo. The only similarity with the other dresses was the layers of tulle and the corset top that created the hourglass silhouette connected with ceremonial dresses, which will be discussed further in chapter 2. As explained in the background, the color white is not something that has always been worn by brides in Sweden. It is deemed traditional due to the display in magazines and on the web. The black dress worn by Saga due to tradition in Hälsingland echoes empty when searching for images of wedding dresses on Pinterest, even though it is as “traditional” as the white dress. Previous research revealed that women searched for the wedding dress early in the process. This was also true for women in Sweden in the 21st century as well, where all participants started to look for a dress soon after the engagement.

Summary

Only two participants visited a bridal store when purchasing their wedding dress. Both went to a bridal shop in Central Stockholm but were not all that happy with the experience. Pinterest, the web, and other mediums affected the choice of wedding dress for all women except for one participant, who found her wedding dress at a second-hand store. Thus, screen-based technologies were the main source of inspiration for most of the participants. The site Pinterest provided inspiration and alternatives before purchasing the dress for three of the participants. Other mediums, such as movies, Instagram and Etsy, played a role for the other participants. Only one participant, Lovisa, did not mention any source of inspiration before purchasing her dress at the second-hand store. Just like fashion magazines, bridal advertisement uses the web instead. The screen-based images worked as a guide to learn about what to wear. It also broadened the options, while mediums such as movies influenced some women before getting married.

82 Knuts, ”Något gammalt något nytt”, 66–67.

25 Chapter 1. Etiquette – a stylish performance of modesty

As the fashion historian Eileen Ribeiro articulates, the status of a functional item of clothing is maintained due to ritual and habit long after its original purpose has ceased. She states ceremonial and official clothing as examples of this.83 As has been noted, in Sweden, the white wedding dress has not been regarded in the same sense as the crown in terms of the bride’s virginity. The popularity of the white dress has partly been due to its being worn by royals, while the black dress has been the traditional color for brides who could not afford to wear a dress for only one occasion. However, the wedding dress is still expected to be white, or close to white, according to wedding magazines and images in popular cultures and movies. As Ribeiro puts it, “[…] in the west, we retain the idea of a white wedding out of traditional sentimentality, for one suspect that a minority of brides are virgins on their wedding day.”84 This sentiment can extend to other items worn by the bride, such as the crown and veil. It is unlikely that a bride in Sweden would be the victim of ridicule or judgment if she wore a white dress with a veil after having children. Interestingly enough, guidebooks on etiquette prevalent at the beginning of the 21st century still advised against this. This chapter will discuss how etiquette rules in Sweden during the 21st century were expressed, and whether or not the participants interviewed behaved in accordance with these rules. Rules on how to wear the wedding dress are well described in the Swedish fashion magazine, Freja, from the late 19th century. Women who remarry, are advised to wear another color than white, but women of “advanced age” are also, however, directed to wear silver-gray instead of white. The magazine states, that a bride can wear black if she wishes to use the bridal dress again for a different occasion.85 It is stated that veils are reserved for brides marrying the first time, but may also be accepted for noble ladies who are remarrying, who can attach the veil under the tiara.86 If a widow remarries, the wreath and shawl should be worn according to the correct etiquette, which prescribed roses or orange blossoms instead of myrtle. Regarding the veil, a short tulle or lace shawl is recommended.87 In 1890, the magazine advised silk for every age. A spring volume of 1890, emphasizes that after a woman has turned 30, she should

83 Eileen Ribeiro, Dress and Morality, (Oxford: Berg, 2003), 12. 84 Ibid., 13. 85 J. G Hedberg, M. Sahlström (ed.) ”Nya moder.” in Freja: illustrerad skandinavisk modetidning, No. 9, Issue IV, Malmö, (May 1, 1876). 86 J. G Hedberg, M. Sahlström (ed.) ”Brud-och bröllopstoiletter.” in Freja: illustrerad skandinavisk modetidning, No. 9, Issue IX, Malmö, (May 1, 1881). 87 Hedberg, “Nya moder.”

26 not wear white even if she has never been married before.88 As this magazine advised on fashion in general, it was not an etiquette book but rather a guideline for women in what to wear and when, where weddings were briefly included. However, one can notice that these guidelines are mirrored in etiquette books by Ribbing during the 21st century. The white dress was advised against for brides remarrying or brides over 30 according to Freja. Ribbing also advised in a 2002 book that if the woman is marrying for the second time, she can use ivory white or cream if she must wear white, but she may also use another color except for black. To wear black would be offensive to her environment and wedding guests.89 Why black is deemed inappropriate, is not explained further. Another important point in Ribbing’s 2002 book was that if the wedding takes place in a church (or other religious room), the women, including the bride, must cover their cleavage and arms with a shawl or jacket. Ribbing’s reason for this was that not only is it inappropriate to show cleavage or arms in a sacred space, it is more suited to the “disco”.90 In 1876, cleavage was also permitted to show at ballrooms or salons, however advised against at the wedding: “For the bride, the simple white suit that modestly encloses her entire figure is best suited […]”.91 The advice regarding wearing a crown in 2002 was to avoid it altogether if the bride had children, according to Ribbing. She recommended instead to wear a diadem, jewelry, a miniature wreath or some flowers. Even though she stated that the symbolism of virginity belongs to the past, she still recommended to avoid a crown if the bride had children.92 The symbolism of white, then, seemed to still adhere to virginity as this recommendation was stated. As can be noted, the etiquette rules conveyed by Ribbing in the 21st century did not differ all that much from those of the late 19th century. One noticeable difference concern wearing a black dress, which was accepted in the 1890s, probably because wedding dresses were more common to wear on other occasions than the wedding ceremony, in contrast to the 21st century. Ribbing wrote again in 2009 that a woman who is knowledgeable in the bridal gown's meaning, would not have bare shoulders or expose her cleavage in church. Instead, she should have a little jacket or a shawl to cover this up. Ribbing highlighted here that bridal gowns during the 21st century have a "sexiness" factor, and stated that a bride does not need to display

88 J. G Hedberg, M. Sahlström (ed.) ”Moderevy.” in Freja: illustrerad skandinavisk modetidning, N:o 6, Issue XVIII, Malmö, (March 16, 1890). 89 Magdalena Ribbing, Ja! Allt om bröllop från frieri till morgongåva, (Stockholm: DN, 2002), 71. 90 Ibid., 103. 91 J. G Hedberg, M. Sahlström (ed.) ”Nya moder.” in Freja: illustrerad skandinavisk modetidning, N:o 6, Issue II, Stockholm, (March 15, 1874). In Swedish: För bruden passar bäst den enkla vita dräkten som blygsamt omsluter hela hennes gestalt […]. 92 Ribbing, Ja! Allt om bröllop, 72.

27 herself this way at a ceremony where eternal fidelity is promised.93 Cleavage has a history of being deemed as indecent, and was specifically condemned in the 17th century, as an expression of a lack of character in women.94 This advice against cleavage when marrying in church draws to mind the view of cleavage as a sign of lacking character, just like in the 17th century. Ribbing wrote in 2002 that “a woman dressed with cleavage dresses in some sense to be attractive to others, otherwise she would not choose to emphasize her bare skin.”95 During the interviews, I never asked explicitly about the participants’ view of these traditional values of etiquette or if they had been thinking about it when they got married. The aspect of covering up was, however, something that some of the participants brought up themselves. Liv, who had inherited her grandmother's wedding dress from the 1960's, chose to find another dress to wear at the ceremony in church as she thought of her inherited dress as too short, both in length and arms.

We got married in Ingarö Church, so we had a church wedding. And then I had… Because I still think that… Grandma’s dress is three-quarter sleeves long, narrow waist and then body-shaped to the knees. I wanted a full-length dress with full— length sleeves in church.96

Even though this dress could have sentimental value, the notion of wearing proper attire at church triumphed, which caused Liv to purchase a separate dress to wear at the ceremony. This dress was long and covered Liv's arms, chest, and legs. While her grandmother’s dress was white, the purchased dress was in a light shade of blue, which Liv found on the Instagram app by a coincidence. Helene also expressed the importance of concealing the skin when sharing the process of selecting a dress for her first wedding, a church wedding at Uppsala Cathedral. She described her experience with choosing her first wedding dress as going "all in". By this, she referred to having a classic "princess" wedding, with every attire that goes with it. She wore Louboutin shoes, and purchased her dress partly in accordance with what would look good with her shoes. She also wore a veil low on her head, and a tiara with Swarovski crystals. However, it was crucial for Helene that she could wear something to cover her shoulders in church:

93 Magdalena Ribbing, Bröllopsboken, (Stockholm: Bonnier fakta, 2009), 42. 94 Tsëelon, Kvinnan och maskerna, 26. 95 Ribbing, Ja! Allt om bröllop, 51. 96 In Swedish: ”Vi gifte oss i Ingarö Kyrka, så vi hade kyrklig vigsel. Och då hade jag ju.… eftersom jag ändå tycker att.... mormors klänning är trekvartsärmar lång, smalt liv och sen kroppformad till knäna. Jag ville ha en hellång klänning med hellång ärm i kyrka.”

28

The dress could be with bare shoulders, but I wanted... I wanted to be able to wear something that matched it in some way. Or covered the shoulders, so that in church, you had something over the shoulders so it looked moral and good.97

A separate top was therefore bought from another brand, which she removed later after the ceremony. Helene had not yet converted to Catholicism at this time, and neither she nor her husband were believers. Nevertheless, the conviction of looking moral and proper during a church ceremony was adapted to. Even though the dress was not short, it was not full length either. The choice of length was due to the shoes, which had affected the choice of dress. As Helene stated:

"[…] since you have these nice red soles […] when I was at the altar for example and was on my knees, it looked very nice. And instead of wearing a full-length dress, you saw the soles, so that was important.”98

The Louboutin shoes were worn at Helene’s second wedding as well. At this time, she had converted to Catholicism. She did not marry in church this time but instead chose a civil ceremony. This decision was made in consultation with her priest since she and her husband had already been married once. However, Helene emphasized that this ceremony had a lot of Christian themes such as psalms and speeches. Helene required a less lavish wedding this time, partly due to already having experienced an extravagant wedding. Another reason for the simplicity was that she and her husband would focus more on their roles as husband and wife. This sentiment guided her in choosing a second dress. This time, the dress was going to be simple, albeit with a proper Catholic veil. The simplicity that Helene had in mind drew her away from the bridal stores to the lingerie stores, and she purchased a white, silk nightgown in Venice during her engagement trip. One reason for wearing a simple night gown also stemmed from the fact that Helene had lost weight and wanted to show off her body which she was proud of. However, Helene found out that she was pregnant, and had to find a new dress quickly before the wedding. The third and final dress had straight cuts, giving an illusion of being two

97 In Swedish: ”Klänningen kunde vara med bara axlar, men jag ville... jag ville kunna ha någonting som matchade den på något sätt. Eller om den täckte axlarna så att man i kyrkan då hade någonting över axlarna, så det såg sedligt och bra ut typ.” 98 In Swedish: ”[…] i och med att man har de här snygga röda sulorna […] när jag var framme vid altaret till exempel och stod på knä så såg det ju väldigt fint ut. Och istället för att ha en hellång klänning så såg man sulorna, så det var viktigt.”

29 pieced with a skirt and top, and was worn with the veil. This dress was, however, bare shouldered. To cover her shoulders this time was not mentioned by Helene. This could, however, be due to the fact that the marriage was not conducted in church, even if it had Christian themes such as psalms. As has been mentioned, the notion of being properly dressed at the wedding ceremony, namely covering skin of certain body parts, has been expressed by Ribbing in her etiquette books. An important concept is: if the bride insists on wearing a low-cut dress, she must wear a jacket or shawl over it. A solution for brides who refuse to adhere to this rule, is to remove the jacket or shawl after the ceremony, at the dinner.99 As can be noted, this rule of etiquette did play a role for Liv who married in church, and for Helene at her first wedding in Uppsala Cathedral. To cover up seemed to come naturally for them without any friction or aversion. As Saga wore the local costume as a wedding dress, she did not have to think about these aspects, since she had sewn her dress in accordance with the traditional costume, where the shoulders and legs are already covered, as part of the costume. Neither Beatrice, Lovisa nor Kim wedded at church, and naturally did not mention anything on how to be dressed there either. Both Beatrice and Kim, however, wore long tulle skirts. Only Lovisa and Karolina wore short dresses with bare shoulders at their wedding ceremony, which will be discussed later in this chapter.

The performance of modesty

It is evident that the covering of body part stems from a concept of modesty that needs to be adhered to in the wedding ceremony. The covering up of the body, according to Tsëelon, comes from Christian theology, in which chastity and innocence is not merely the absence of sexual behaviour. The woman being pure is not sufficient, she must also be perceived as such. In other words, a woman needs to adapt to how others may view her. Her responsibility to be pure is extended beyond her actions and includes others who may view her sexually.100 As noted, the aspect of displaying oneself as “sexy” during the wedding ceremony was described as being disrespectful by Ribbing. By referring to the psychoanalyst John Flügel, Tsëelon emphasizes the dualism between the body and soul, cherished by the Christian church. By covering the body, the focus is instead directed to the soul. By this notion, a displacement is made from the naked body to the clothes that cover the body.101 The clothes have, instead, been criticized with

99 Ribbing, Ja! Allt om bröllop, 52. 100 Tsëelon, Kvinnan och maskerna, 21. 101 Ibid., 28.

30 regards to the appearance of women. Tsëelon states that moral characteristics are embedded in clothes due to the sexualization of women.102 As we will see, the concept of covering up was not limited to church weddings as simply being respectful of sacred places; it was also advised in civil ceremonies. Ribbing answered a question from a bride-to-be regarding the length of her wedding in the Swedish newspaper Dagens Nyheter in march 2017. The bride-to-be writes that she would prefer to wear a dress ending in the middle of the thigh, as this is the length that she is the most comfortable with. The woman emphasizes that she knows that it is not appropriate for a church wedding to wear such a short dress, but as she will have a civil ceremony, she wonders if it is acceptable. Her argument is that she would feel utklädd if she were to wear a longer dress. Ribbings answer is clear - a short dress is not acceptable in a civil ceremony:

A wedding, a nuptial, is a great celebration. Two people promise in front of a government official, the officiant, and in front of a number of witnesses, at least two or all of those present, to hold together for life. It is not the same kind of event as a party with friends or a night of clubbing. A civil wedding has the same legal validity as a church wedding, no matter how it is performed it is an act of lifelong importance. If you want to show good style, you let your dress go further than half the thigh at this time. The most important thing is not really that you feel comfortable by showing your legs, but that you are dressed appropriately for this occasion. Surely you can let the dress reach to your knees without feeling utklädd? It is rather a noticeably short dress that will look like a costume if worn by a bride.103

The comfort of the bride to be is less important than being dressed to suit the occasion. Even though the woman who wrote the letter is anxious about feeling utklädd, Ribbing’s view was that the bride would appear to be more utklädd if the dress was short. Even if Ribbing does not mention anything about the length being sexually provocative, it is stated as a contrast to “good style”. Tsëelon offers an explanation of how the different expressions of critique regarding female fashion have been manifested and shifted historically. She states that when the moral discussion was abandoned, other forms of rhetoric were born. Failures in clothing went from

102 Ibid., 27.

103 Magdalena Ribbing, ”Brudklänningslängd”, Dagens Nyheter, March 8, 2017, https://www.dn.se/blogg/etikettfragan/2017/03/08/15525/ In Swedish: ”Ett bröllop, en vigsel, är en stor högtid. Två människor lovar inför en myndighetsföreträdare, vigselförrättaren, och inför ett antal vittnen, minst två eller alla de närvarande, att hålla ihop livet ut. Det är inte samma slags tillställning som en fest med kompisar eller ett diskotekbesök. Ett borgerligt bröllop har samma juridiska tyngd som ett kyrkbröllop, oavsett hur det går till är det en akt med livslång betydelse. Vill du visa god stil så låter du din klänning gå längre än till halva låret just vid detta tillfälle. Det viktigaste är inte egentligen att du känner dig bekväm genom att visa dina ben, utan att du är klädd så som det passar detta tillfälle. Nog kan du låta klänningen nå till knäna utan att känna dig utklädd? Det är snarare en påtagligt kort klänning som kommer att se ut som utklädsel om den bärs av en brud.”

31 being a moral violation to a social one in the 19th century, explained as etiquette of the bourgeois. For women, a lack of character and morals was transformed into a lack of education and civilized behavior instead.104 I would argue that this idea can be viewed in Ribbing’s narration of the wedding dress in the 21st century. When an emphasis is placed on style, the dress is not discussed in terms of sexual or moral behaviour. Instead, it is more an issue of lacking manners and style, to appear unbelievable as a bride. In Ribbing's view, to use a short dress is compared to being utklädd, even though the bride expresses an opposite view. The notion of being believable as a bride, and not disclosed as utklädd draws the mind to Goffman’s explanation of performances in our everyday lives. Interestingly enough, the wedding ceremony is revealed by Ribbing as a performance, where the bride must play the part correctly. To wear a short dress is, in this sense, to act incorrectly as a bride and to appear as incongruous with the act of the wedding. To be a bride, then, requires the woman to adhere to a performance of modesty, even if that is not something that she identifies with. The formal wedding becomes a stage where the bride functions as part of the setting and must act as such, so she does not offend the watching audience. To wear incorrect attire at the wedding ceremony threatens the role of the bride being performed, but also the ceremony itself. The role of the wedding dress in this context is to perform modesty, by Ribbing instead referred to as “style”. In 2013, it seemed at first, that Ribbing’s view on bridal attire had become more forgiving regarding the veil and color of the dress. In her advice on wedding attire in 2013, she stated that a bride who is remarrying can wear a white dress and a veil if she wants to, albeit with the disclaimer that it is not formal, traditional etiquette. She also declares that a knee- length dress is correct if it fits the dress code and suits the bride better.105 This was, as noted, not an opinion of Ribbing in 2017 regarding a short dress at the civil ceremony. However, cleavage and bare shoulders were still strongly advised against in 2013: “[…] even the bride should show respect for the church, which is the wrong place for challenging and sexy attire.”106 Once more, the emphasis on “sexiness” was used as a disparaging term and a characteristic that a bride would not want be associated with. The symbolic connection between virginity and the white dress was dismissed in 2013, but the importance for the bride to not display herself as a potential sexual object prevailed. These etiquette rules, explained by Ribbing, were perhaps not read by any of the participants. However, as an influential person wrote them down, they are still valid to discuss

104 Ibid., 26. 105 Magdalena Ribbing, Stora stunder: Etikett för fest och högtid, (Natur & Kultur, Stockholm, 2013), 99. 106 Ibid.

32 as the participants got married when these etiquette rules were vocalized. The etiquette on covering up at church seemed to be important for Liv and Helene, which implies that this was a norm in Sweden independent of Ribbings own views. A critique of Ribbing as an informant of rules was expressed in 2011 in the Swedish evening newspaper Expressen. The journalist Anette Kullenberg wrote about a book on etiquette at work by Ribbing: "Now the time has come when a person like Ribbing who belongs to the old nobility decides how 'people' should behave.”107 However, even though Ribbing mediated how to behave at weddings, she merely informed about, and did not create, these norms. The length of the dress has been short during brief moments of fashion, such as in the '60s. Liv’s grandmother's dress was worn in the '60s but was not, in Liv's view, proper to wear in the 21st century at church.

The short dress

One aspect previously not mentioned is the set of rules applying to a same-sex wedding. Ribbing mentions that if there are two brides, both should wear dresses at the same level of quality. They can look similar, but they should not look too much alike. 108 The reason for this is unclear, as no further explanation is given. She does not state any rules on the length or color of the dresses either, for example, if one of the brides can wear a short dress while the other wears a long dress. Etiquette regarding dress when remarrying is also vacant. The lack of etiquette could imply that the length of the dress and bare shoulders also adheres to same-sex weddings. However, I suspect that since same-sex weddings in church were not legal until 2009 in Sweden, there has been no formal etiquette rules to refer to for Ribbing.109 As Karolina emphasized when she and her wife prepared for their wedding, inspiration was lacking. Bridal magazines were not helpful as they were stereotypical, aimed at weddings for straight couples. Due to the lack of inspiration, the couple decided to do their own thing instead, which implied skipping some of the traditions connected with the wedding ceremony. One example was the gendered table seating, where male and female guests were seated alternately. Even though Karolina and her wife wanted to have a church wedding due to their Christian faith, it was also a political statement for Karolina to have a same-sex wedding in church. Interestingly enough, Karolina also specifically wanted to wear a short dress at the wedding ceremony. To find a

107 Anette Kullenberg, ”Magdalena Ribbing: Etikett på jobbet.”, Expressen, December 4, 2011. https://www.expressen.se/kultur/magdalena-ribbing-etikett-pa-jobbet/ In Swedish: Nu har den tid kommit när en person som Ribbing som tillhör uradeln bestämmer över hur ’folk’ ska bete sig. 108 Ribbing, Stora stunder, 99. 109 ”Samkönade äktenskap”, Svenska Kyrkan, last modified March 17, 2020, https://www.svenskakyrkan.se/samkonade-aktenskap

33 short dress at the bridal store was, however, not easy. Karolina brought her mother as support since she had the same pragmatic view as Karolina on the wedding dress. Karolina, who did not look forward to shop for the wedding dress, thought of it as something that she just had to get over with and did not romanticize the event. When she entered the store, she informed the staff that she wanted to try on a short dress. The saleswoman, prepared for Karolina’s visit, had picked out long dresses in different designs and convinced Karolina to try them on. When Karolina tried three of the long dresses, her aversion to them grew more assertive. Finally, the saleswoman picked out a short dress for Karolina to try, as she had asked for initially. The reason for the display of long dresses was that they did not have many short dresses available. To not miss out on a better choice of dress, two other stores were visited that same day by Karolina. As no other options were available, Karolina decided on the short dress at the first bridal store. The difficulties in finding short dresses at the other bridal stores seemed to affect the final choice of dress. The lack of short dresses at the bridal stores implies a norm of length regarding wedding dresses. There was also friction in trying on dresses at the store since the saleswoman did not initially introduce Karolina to the short dress, even though it was what Karolina had asked for specifically. Lovisa, who married at the Swedish Embassy in Tokyo, also wore a short dress. Her dress ended just below her knees. She also chose to show her arms and shoulders since the top was shaped like a corset. However, Lovisa also expressed aversion against the norms and values connected with weddings in general.

I think that there is, around the marriage thing itself […] so many outdated ideas and values that people suddenly completely out of the blue subscribe to and consolidate.110

Another statement from Lovisa was that she found it bizarre to spend a large amount of money on a wedding dress since it is only worn once. This was also reflected in her own choice of dress, which was bought at a second-hand shop in Stockholm, that didn’t cost as much as a newly purchased dress at a bridal store would. The dress was an old party dress, with cigarette burns, which Lovisa had to repair after buying it. Since Lovisa questioned the traditions and rituals around marriage in general and did not conduct a church wedding in Sweden, it is not surprising that she did not care for formal etiquette on the wedding dress either.

110 In Swedish: ”Jag kan tycka att det finns, runt själva giftermålsgrejen […] så himla mycket mossiga föreställningar eller värderingar som folk plötsligt helt ur det blå prenumererar på eller ska befästa.”

34

Summary

According to Ribbing’s advice in her etiquette books, views on what to wear during a wedding ceremony did not differ much from the late 19th century to the early 21st century. One difference was the black dress which was advised against by Ribbing. The display of bare shoulders and wearing a short dress was deemed disrespectful by Ribbing when marrying in church. However, wearing a short dress was said to be inappropriate in a civil ceremony as well. Some participants adjusted to these etiquette rules consciously. Liv did not want to wear her grandmother’s dress in church due to the short length and arms. Helene bought a separate top to cover her shoulders at her first wedding in church, even if she was not a believer at that time. She did not cover her shoulders at her second wedding after converting to Catholicism. The second wedding was, however, a civil ceremony. Lovisa and Karoline did not mention anything about their bare shoulders and legs with regards to etiquette. The lack of care for this etiquette rule could stem from the fact that both had expressed an aversion to different norms and expectations of how to behave at weddings in general and were critical of the concept of following gendered norms connected with the ceremony. Finding a short dress in a bridal store was, however, problematic for Karolina since they mostly had long dresses. Since Saga already dressed according to the traditional costume in Hälsingland, she did not have to take these things into account. Both Beatrice and Kim wedded in a civil ceremony and did not mention anything about covering body parts; however, they both wore long tulle skirts and did not display bare shoulders. The etiquette rules on covering the body could stem from the notion of how a lack of character and moral changed to a question of having manners and class in the 19th century. The description of style, as a contrast to displaying a “sexy” behavior at weddings, reveals that modesty could be expected of women getting married in the 21st century in Sweden. Modesty was advised with regards to the wedding dress, albeit expressed in terms of being respectful and displaying style. Ribbing also stated that a bride would be utklädd if she wore a short dress, thus not acting out the performance of being a bride in a correct way. This statement shows an attitude of the ceremony as a performance that needs to be preserved; the bride needs to act modest in the 21st century in terms of dress, even if it is only an act.

35 Chapter 2. Performing as a bride in tulle

The silhouettes and shapes of wedding dresses and other ceremonial attire changes slowly. The tiny waist and big bubble skirt are examples of this.111 There are different ways to create this shape, and wearing a tulle skirt, creates a voluminous silhouette connected with the ceremonial dress. When conducting my interviews, I noticed that some of the participants told me that they did not wear skirts or dressed in classically feminine clothes in general before or after the wedding. However, the participants who did not dress in clothes deemed “feminine” still expressed the desire for a wedding dress that could be considered feminine. As Ingraham states, bridal culture is soaked with traditional femininity, marketed in bridal magazines and on other mediums.112 A study conducted in the United States shows that women in bridal magazines did not engage in traditionally feminine behavior in their everyday life but adhered to these behaviors when getting married.113 The wedding dress associated with femininity seemed to be preferred by all participants. Entwistle emphasizes that ceremonies such as weddings have more rigidly enforced codes of gender than in informal settings.114 In Sweden in the 21st century, these gender codes could be noted as well in the choice of dress, albeit in different ways.

Tulle – a comfortable femininity

Tulle was a fabric mentioned by almost all participants and was commonly talked about when describing how they thought about their wedding dress. One exception was Saga, who did not mention any desire for tulle as the folk costume contained other types of fabric, such as wool. Tulle can be worn in different ways. It is often layered and worn in dresses to create a voluminous silhouette, making it connected with ceremonies and femininity. It is also worn in ballet and associated with to the tutu worn by ballerinas. In 1832, the Italian ballerina Marie Taglioni wore a tutu in the ballet La Sylphide, which marked the beginning of tutu skirts for ballerinas.115 Angela Rundquist stated that the silhouettes and proportions of the festive dress are embedded in the essence of fashion. By this, she means that the bubble-shaped dress

111 Rundquist, “Klädd som en drottning”, 237. 112 Ingraham, White Weddings, 144. 113 Ibid. 114 Entwistle, The Fashioned Body, 15. 115 Judith Bennahum, The Lure of Perfection: Fashion and Ballet, (Taylor & Francis Group, 2004), 213-214.

36 mediates a ceremonial occasion. An illusion of a tiny waist created by the wide skirt is a ceremonial dress that stand accurate regardless of changes in fashion. The 19th and 18th-century fashion have been critiqued due to the use of corsets and crinolines. However, the same silhouette has remained on ceremonial occasions.116 The hourglass figure was emphasized by Dior when launching the New Look in 1947, and the filled-out skirt and pinched waist emphasized and created an hourglass figure. Dior said that he specifically wanted to accentuate the waist, hips and bust.117 As Gundle points out, among Dior’s clients Fig.1. Marie Taglioni in La Sylphide, 1832. were many Hollywood stars, and these functioned to bridge the gap between the world of haute couture and dreams of the masses.118 This shape is still embedded in our culture and connected with the female body. As Joanne Entwistle states in The Fashioned Body, clothes exaggerate physical differences between males and females. These differences are noticeable in the dress even when not worn, such as the broad shoulders of a man’s suit or the cinched waist of a dress.119 Wearing a big tulle skirt, will carve out this shape. When planning for a wedding dress and looking at Pinterest or other media, images of laced dresses with tulle skirts will undoubtedly show up. Kim, who wore black clothes and preferred straight silhouettes otherwise, said that she knew right away that she wanted to wear a tulle skirt for her wedding and therefore ordered a tailored tulle skirt on Etsy. She spent more money on the tulle skirt than on the top, which was less important to her than the skirt. However, the immense size of the tulle skirt was also to make her feel relaxed about her body during the wedding ceremony.

116 Rundquist, “Klädd som en drottning”, 237. 117 Karen Kay, “From ’new look’ to royal appointment: the Christian Dior legacy”, The Guardian, 20 January, 2019. https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2019/jan/20/christian-dior-legacy-victoria-and-albert-museum- exhibition 118 Stephen Gundle, Glamour. A history, (Oxford University Press, 2008), 202. 119 Entwistle, The Fashioned Body, 141

37

[…] a big tulle dress also means that I do not have to think about how tight something is sitting around the stomach. I can be like: "okay, it will just disappear in a pile of fabric”. A part in an equation of things I will be bothered with is removed for that day. […] if I had something really tight on me then I would sit and think about it all the time, that there will be people who take a picture of me, like “what does it look like now that I’m sitting down”. […] This was for me very much like wearing a pajama.”.120

The body is simultaneously covered and concealed in the big tulle skirt and adheres to the expected shape connected with the feminine and ceremonial silhouette. The function of the tulle skirt was to make Kim comfortable. It did, however, also convey all the feminine connotations expected of a bride. As Entwistle puts it, “Dress is the way in which individuals learn to live in their bodies and feel at home in them.”121 By this, she refers to the fact that while we feel at ease with our bodies when wearing the right clothes, we also feel awkward and vulnerable when wearing clothes deemed inappropriate for the occasion. Dress is, therefore, “both an intimate experience of the body and a public presentation of it”.122 One can argue that the Fig.2. Kim at her wedding. tulle dress adheres to both of these concepts. While it is deemed correct for the occasion, it also covers the body while creating an hourglass silhouette expected during ceremonial occasions. Kim is simultaneously comfortable due to concealing her body, but adjusted to the expected feminine attire on a formal occasion at the same time.

120 In Swedish: “[…] en stor tyllklänning gör också att jag inte behöver tänka på hur någonting tajt något sitter runt magen utan jag kan verkligen vara såhär "okej det kommer bara försvinna i en hög av tyg". Då tar jag bort liksom en del i en ekvation av saker jag kommer att störa med på under en dag […] hade jag haft något jättetajt på mig då skulle jag ju sitta och tänka på det hela tiden, över att det kommer vara folk som fotar mig, typ ’hur ser det ut nu när jag sitter ner’, […] Det här var för mig väldigt mycket som typ, lite att ha på sig en pyjamas.” 121 Entwistle, The Fashioned Body, 7. 122 Ibid.

38 Karolina also expressed that being comfortable was important to her, and also desired a big tulle skirt, which she expressed having always liked. However, she did not feel comfortable in a long dress and therefore required a short length, which was discussed in chapter 1. The short dress with the puffy tulle at the bottom resembled what Karolina felt most comfortable wearing. “That was probably the most important thing, that I should feel comfortable and not utklädd.”123 However, the dress came with surprises that Karolina had not expected, such as the lace pattern and the deep backside of the dress. When Karolina chose a dress that resembled most of what she wore in her everyday life, she had to compromise on wearing lace patterns and a plunging back. Since she would feel utklädd in a long dress, she had to compromise on these unexpected elements since there were no other alternatives when choosing a short wedding dress from the bridal store.

[…] I did not think that I would have such a lace pattern, or that it would be deep in the back or something, it just happened… It was the one that was most similar to what I […] felt comfortable in.124

Both Kim and Karolina, then, prioritized comfort when choosing a wedding dress. Being covered in layers of tulle helped Kim to feel comfortable in her body. For Karolina, wearing the short dress with tulle helped her to feel like a better version of herself and not utklädd. Beatrice also knew before the wedding that she wanted to wear a tulle skirt and long arms with lace, but in contrast to Kim, the top was more important to her, while the quality and brand of the tulle skirt did not matter. Beatrice was more interested in the silhouette itself that the big tulle skirt would provide.

I like very classic female silhouettes, silk shirts, lace… and I wanted a big tulle skirt […] big at the bottom, narrow at the top. That was the preference.125

For Beatrice, the primary function of the tulle skirt was the silhouette it provided. As mentioned, the tulle skirt can function as both hiding the body while creating a silhouette of a tiny waist with a big bottom. Lovisa, claimed that she had just started to become curious about

123 In Swedish: “Det var väl det viktigaste, att jag skulle känna mig bekväm, och inte utklädd, liksom.” 124 In Swedish: “[…] Jag tänkte inte alls att jag skulle ha ett såhär spetsmönster, eller att den skulle vara djup i ryggen eller sådär, utan det blev ju mest bara såhär... Det var den som var mest lik det jag […] kände mig bekväm i.” 125 In Swedish: “Jag tycker om väldigt såhär klassiska kvinnliga silhuetter, sidenskjortor, spetsar… och sen så ville jag ha en stor ’tyllig’ kjol […] stor nedtill, smal upptill och långa spetsar. Det var typ det som var, preferensen liksom.”

39 feminine clothing before the engagement. However, she also described her body type as voluptuous, which had affected her choices when looking for a wedding dress. Even though she otherwise wore clothes with straight silhouettes, she wanted to wear a dress with tulle on her wedding day:

[…] I think that I was focused a bit on tulle [---] It can be so very beautiful with the fragility but also that it actually gets a little volume. So, I have in mind that I had the tulle skirt as a little entry value […].126

However, the attraction of enhancing a silhouette that Lovisa found to be beautiful also played a role in her choice of dress:

I think the female body shape is very beautiful, and I think it’s very fun to dress it up, like in the right way. […] that shape with a little bigger skirt and bust and so on, it’s incredibly feminine and very nice.127

Tulle, in this sense, seemed to be connected and associated with the wedding dress for these participants and was an essential factor in choosing a wedding dress. It could both function as a way of wearing a feminine dress while either enhancing the body shape or covering the body in layers of tulle. It seemed that the silhouette provided by the many layers of tulle attracted the participants to this fabric in different ways. The same silhouette was, however, created. Rundquist has explained this as central for festive garments, which seemed to still hold true in Sweden in the 21st century. Only the length of the dress varied, but the waist and big bottom dress was a common factor.

Utklädd in tulle

Some participants expressed wanting to enhance the ceremonial silhouette created by wearing a big tulle skirt. However, the tulle also revealed to function in the sense of being utklädd. Beatrice and Kim expressed that they could imagine wearing the tulle skirt again, at a masquerade or another extravagant occasion. Beatrice stated that she had saved her tulle skirt “[…] I have saved it mostly because I can wear it in a masquerade costume someday. To have

126 In Swedish: “[…] jag har för mig att jag hade lite siktet inställt på det här med tyll [---] Det kan bli så himla fint med det här sköra men också att det får faktiskt lite volym. Så jag har för mig att jag hade liksom tyllkjolen som lite ingångsvärde […]” 127 In Swedish: “Jag tycker att hela kvinnokroppsformen är väldigt vacker, och jag kan tycka att det är väldigt roligt att få klä upp det, liksom, på rätt sätt. […] den formen med såhär lite större kjol och lite tygliv och lite byst och så, det är ju otroligt kvinnligt och är väldigt fint.”

40 a big tulle skirt… you can do a lot with that”128 Kim expressed that she wanted to save her skirt since an event could arrive when it would be proper to wear it, “I feel like I want to save it because I think it might come […] I do not know, a ball or something, where it can be used.”129 The tulle skirt, in contrast to the dress worn with it such as Beatrice’s tailored dress from Ida Stjöstedt, is viewed as a separate accessory which can be used as a masquerade costume. In Knuts research on the wedding ceremony in Sweden, she noticed that the women interviewed stated that it was essential to feel like a bride in the dress. One participant said that a wedding is not a masquerade. A statement made by some participants was also that they felt afraid of feeling utklädd, that the bridal attire would make them feel like they were participating in a “charade”.130 The wedding ceremony seemed, however, to be associated with being utklädd for Kim and Beatrice in the sense that the aesthetics of the tulle skirt felt linked to masquerades and balls. Kim also described the tulle skirt as being playful.

[…] it is something about tulle; I find it an amusing fabric […] there is so much going on with it; it gets wrinkled, and then it blows and flies around. It was very […] playful.131

Both Kim and Beatrice married in a civil ceremony. Beatrice married in a church ruin in Gotland, an arrangement in which she had a sacral environment and a civil ceremony at the same time. As she respected the Christian faith, she did not want to have a church wedding with a priest since she herself did not identify as Christian. Kim married at Skansen in Stockholm, which is an open-air museum located in Central Stockholm. Even though one can conduct the ceremony in a church at Skansen, there are also places available in the museum where one can bring their own marriage officer, available to rent from the City Hall, which is what Kim did. The location chosen at Skansen was a small garden containing a small avenue. The ceremony was small, with only 15 people invited since the wedding took place during the pandemic. The couple later continued the ceremony at a restaurant. Kim described a scenery

128 In Swedish: “[…] den har jag sparat mest för att den kan jag ha i någon maskeraddräkt någon dag. Bara att ha en jättestor tyllkjol, det kan man göra ganska mycket med. Man kan ha den under en annan klänning, eller liksom så.” 129 In Swedish: “Jag känner att jag vill spara den för jag tänker att det kanske kommer […] jag vet inte, bal eller nåt, då kan den komma till användning.” 130 Knuts, “Något gammalt något nytt”, 69. 131 In Swedish: “[…] det är något med tyll. jag tycker det är väldigt roligt tyg […]. Det händer så mycket med det. Det blir skrynkligt, och så blåser det och flyger omkring. Det var väldigt […] lekfullt.”

41 when she and her husband, as drunk newlyweds, walked home in the middle of the night in Stockholm, wearing their bridal attire:

[…] we walked home since we were at a restaurant, or a party floor part of a restaurant in the city and had dinner […] since we did not have a big party, we could have a bartender making drinks until they threw us out at half past three, and then we walked through central Stockholm to our hotel in bridal attire which was hysterically fun because there were so many other drunk people who also thought it was hilarious to see people in bridal gowns in the middle of the night.132

As Kim left the restaurant and walked to her hotel, she felt that the bridal dress was “hysterically fun” to wear when strolling on the streets in the middle of the night. When the dress is seen outside of the ceremony, it appears as something from a masquerade. When Kim wears her wedding dress at Skansen during the wedding ceremony, the environment provides the correct props and requisite for the performance of being a bride. Goffman states that the setting allows the scene and performance to be conducted, and that a performance can’t be acted upon until one is in the correct place for it.133 The shift of scenery thus causes the dress to be viewed as a costume, catching the attention of persons around her who find it “hilarious” to see a bridal gown in this context, stated by Kim as well. Professor Rhonda Garelick described the intro to the television show Sex and the City, where actress Sarah Jessica Parker wears a tutu skirt on the streets of New York as:

A grown woman wearing a tutu in public is incongruous. Tutus belong on only two types of people: ballerinas and toddlers. Tutus are not skirts; they are not street clothes. They are costumes that have floated down to us from the world of 19th century Romantic ballet.134

132 In Swedish: […]vi promenerade hem för vi var på liksom en restaurang, eller en festvåningsdel av en restaurang inne i stan och hade middag och sedan skulle vi... sen hade vi eftersom det inte blev en fest-fest så vi kunde ha en bartender som gjorde drinkar tills de slängde ut oss vid halv fyrasnåret, och sedan promenerade vi genom centrala Stockholm till vårat hotell i brudkläder vilket var också hysteriskt roligt för att det var så mycket andra fulla personer som också tyckte det var jätteroligt att se personer i brudklänning så mitt i natten.

133 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 32-33. 134 Rhonda Garelick, “Carrie Bradshaw’s Tutu Paradox. Dancing around the transactional nature of love in Sex and the City.”, The Cut, June 1, 2018, https://www.thecut.com/2018/06/why-did-carrie-bradshaw-wear-tutus-on- sex-and-the-city.html

42 Again, one can make a comparison between the tutu skirt and the ballet dress. As a garment, it is viewed as a costume when not in the correct setting. When the wedding attire appears on a body outside of the ceremony, it reads as a masquerade, as being utklädd. With this in mind, one could connect to the wedding as a ceremony similar to a masquerade. The wedding becomes associated with an event separated from the everyday life, where the bride can dress up in a fabric or silhouette which would appear absurd in any other setting. The tulle skirt, then, is part of the costume when performing as a bride.

Friction

Worsley explains why brides who are not interested in the traditional feminine dress otherwise choose this for their wedding as: “[…] family pressure, the bridal industry or just pure romance may twist the arm of a bride who lives in jeans and never thought she would turn overnight, like Cinderella, info a fairytale princess.”135 This cultural phenomenon is, however, not always without friction. Liv demonstrated anxieties concerning the expected femininity required of her for the wedding, and she could not relate to the two colleagues of hers who got married at the same time, to which she compared herself. As has been noted regarding etiquette, one can adhere to specific rules of dressing even if one does not agree with these rules. To perform as a bride, one needs to relate to these rules. Liv compared herself to her colleagues who also got married and described them as: “[…] incredibly feminine, long hair, curves, lots of money, […] buying expensive Balmain-dresses”.136 As Liv thought of her colleagues as performing better than her, she felt that she “appropriated” femininity.

I love to be a hostess and I love to be the center of attention of a scene and talk, but that is something else. I did not think that I would have these struggles with being a bride that I felt I had, because it felt like I appropriated a womanhood which I don’t possess.137

Liv used the term appropriate in terms of being a bride. To appropriate might be another form of being utklädd. Again, the notion of being utklädd is attached to the ceremony. As she thought of herself as more of a tomboy, the wedding caused her to compare herself to her

135 Worsley, The White Dress, 16. 136 In Swedish: “[…] otroligt feminina, långt hår, former, mycket pengar och köpte dyra Balmain-klänningar.” 137 In Swedish: ”Jag älskar att vara värdinna och jag älskar att stå i centrum på en scen och prata men då är det något annat. Jag hade svårt. Jag trodde inte jag skulle ha så svårt att stå brud som jag ändå kände att jag hade, för det känns som att jag approprierade en kvinnlighet som jag själv inte besitter.”

43 colleagues, since to wear a wedding dress was the most feminine garment Liv could imagine wearing. This comparison created friction since she otherwise tried to not care about what other people think of her. Goffman states that when we question whether a performance is authentic or not, what we question is the role of the performer and if he or she is authorized at all to act the performance. Therefore, the performance in itself is not of concern, but the performer herself.138 In this case, one can argue that Liv questions her authority to perform as a bride due to comparing herself with her colleagues, deemed more believable as performers. The comparison causes a feeling of being utklädd. However, even though her mother-in-law encouraged Liv to wear a trouser suit at the wedding, Liv's gut feeling told her that she did not want to do that. Instead, the light-blue dress found on Instagram was worn at the ceremony, while the grandmothers' dress was worn later at the dinner. Even though Liv felt that she was appropriating womanhood, she still dressed for the occasion and adhered to the expectations of being a bride. While incorporating traditional etiquette and femininity into the ceremony she made a believable performance.

The dichotomy of the wedding dress and everyday clothing

When doubting one's performance and identity, it is often not noticeable but revealed on other occasions, or to people outside of the performance. I am, in a sense, what Goffman would describe as a "confidant". The role of a confidant is a person whom the performer confesses how an impression during a performance was, only an impression and not honest.139 Even though a performance is believably conducted, the performer can reveal that it was an impersonation afterwards. The wedding dress opens up for discussions on masquerade and different identities, revealed in these examples. The tulle skirt worn was connected to a masquerade and deemed playful, as described by Beatrice and Kim. In Liv’s case, the wedding caused her to reflect on the performance of femininity required during the ceremony, which she thought of when comparing herself to her colleagues. For Karolina, being utklädd was related to her regarding the ceremony, which she wanted to avoid. Tsëelon highlights that a preoccupation with selves and identities is uniquely western.140 To marry in Sweden is also to question your sense of

138 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 66. 139 Ibid., 158. 140 Efrat Tseëlon, “Reflections on mask and carnival”, in Masquerade and Identities, essays on gender, sexuality and marginality, Efrat Tsëelon (ed.), (London: Routledge, 2001), 25.

44 identity since you must perform an expected role. The performance of femininity and etiquette is considered when choosing a wedding dress and how these roles fit with one’s own identity. The ritual itself changes the marital status, and the dress is, as has been mentioned by Knuts, aid in this process. As Woodward and Fisher has expressed regarding material culture, the western dichotomy separates the outer surface from the inner being. The outer surface becomes a mask, demarcated from the “inner being”. The “inner being” is deemed the real one, while the outer surface is not.. However, when clothes are worn that the wearer does not identify with, it is regarded more like a costume and deemed less authentic. Since the wedding dress is worn in a ritual performed very seldom and less practised, it forces the bride to reflect on how she wants to be perceived. Everyday clothes are, in contrast, not reflected on in the same sense, even though they have been selected in regards to one’s idea of identity as well. The everyday clothes are deemed truer to one’s authentic self than clothes during rituals such as weddings. While it has been stated that the western dichotomy separates the surface from the “inner being”, I would argue that in the case of ceremonial clothes like the wedding dress, these are deemed in the sense of a surface more than everyday clothing. Since the wedding dress differs from and is separated from everyday clothing, it is less connected to one’s authentic ”inner being” than everyday clothing. Tsëelon states regarding masking, “Like performance, it evokes an idea of an authentic identity (‘behind the mask’ or ‘behind the performance’) only to dismantle the illusion of such identity.”141 The performance of a wedding does not differ from other performances in everyday life, in Goffman’s terms. However, it is less practised and evokes feelings and thoughts on identity and authenticity, a feeling of being utklädd.

Dressing for the body

The body was not altered for the wedding for any of the women. By altered, I refer to drastic ways of changing the body, such as plastic surgery or gaining or losing weight. In most cases, the dress was bought in consideration of the body of the participant. Some participants expressed that they had never had been on a diet their whole life, and therefore these thoughts did not affect them when picking out their dresses either. Nevertheless, two of the participants expressed having had issues with their bodies. While Karolina expressed that she knew that she would feel “fat and ugly” when trying out a wedding dress, Kim said that she had always

141 Tsëelon, “Introduction”, in Masquerade and Identities, essays on gender, sexuality and marginality, Efrat Tsëelon (ed.), (London: Routledge, 2001), 9-10.

45 wanted to be a bit leaner, but did not feel pressure to lose weight before the wedding. Beatrice and Liv expressed that it was a sad fact that many women wanted to lose weight before the wedding and had experienced acquaintances that had struggled to do so. Eventually, the dresses aimed to fit the body instead of having the body fit the dress. Even though two of the participants had expressed some anxiousness regarding their bodies, this did not make them willing to change their body type during the wedding ceremony. Instead, they chose dresses that would make them feel comfortable, like the big tulle skirt in Kim’s case. I was surprised to find that no one had tried to change their body in some way befor the wedding, as I find it a common trope to hear about women altering their bodies since being the center of attention can cause this pressure. Knuts mentioned in her research on the wedding ceremony when speaking to a woman working in a bridal store that many women expressed wanting to change their bodies when trying on wedding dresses.142 However, half of the participants interviewed by me had parts of their dress, or their whole dress, tailored or sewn for their body. When the dress is tailored for the body, it becomes an extension of the body, like a second skin.143 An ill-fitting and uncomfortable garment, in contrast, can cause the wearer to become self-aware of the body and its limits.”144 As has been mentioned, Karolina thought of the big tulle skirt as something covering her body, which would affect her not having to worry about her body felt and looked, as she would have been forced to if she wore something tight-fitting. As the tulle skirt covered her, she did not have to relate to her body and feel comfortable during the ceremony. Regarding her wedding dress, Karolina stated that the most critical factor was to feel comfortable and not utklädd. To feel comfortable also extended to Karolina’s bridesmaids, whom she stated was allowed to wear what they wanted, as long as the color was grey. For Karolina, it was important that the bridesmaids felt comfortable during the ceremony and that they did not wear anything they would not wear otherwise. Karolina thought of grey as a practical color since they could probably wear their clothes on other occasions after the wedding and not spend money in vain. Beatrice, who said that she liked the feminine silhouette, also chose a dress coherent with her style in general. Therefore, the wedding was an occasion where her everyday style was amplified and enhanced, not causing much friction or feelings of being utklädd:

142 Knuts, “Något gammalt något nytt”, 72. 143 Entwistle, Joanne, “The Dressed Body.” in Body Dressing: Dress, Body, Culture, Joanne Entwistle and Elizabeth Wilson (ed.), (Oxford: Berg, 2001), 45. 144 Ibid.

46 […] I think that the format of the dress itself was what I personally like […] it was the kind I like otherwise I would say, so it was pretty consistent with my style in general as well.145

As the dress is similar to what Beatrice enjoys wearing in her everyday life, it is less divided from her typical taste, making the wedding dress more of a festive expression of her everyday clothes, where the tulle skirt adds a festive detail. Saga and Helene had also expressed wearing clothes similar to the cuts and color of their wedding dresses, and no pronounced friction was noticed. Helene described her feelings of how she wanted to dress at her second wedding:

I want it to be as simple as possible. I had also lost a lot of weight, so I was very good looking, so I felt that I would like to show off this body.146

Since Helene later found out that she was pregnant, she did not want to show off her body anymore and bought a fitted dress instead, with straight cuts. Helene's body was the focal point when choosing the wedding dresses for her second ceremony. The silk gown was preferred when she wanted to display it, and a fitted, stiff dress was bought when she wanted to hide it. However, for the other participants, the wedding dress differed from their everyday style, making the wedding dress a garment that stood out from their ordinary clothes and made them reflect more upon how one's identity coincided with it. Entwistle states that some dress practices can raise phenomenological questions about the consciousness of self. Some practices, such as dressing for a casual event, can go unnoticed in relation to this conscious self.147 In Sweden, the wedding dress causes brides to reflect on their own identity and self and how it fits with dressing for the role of the bride. The dress practice reveals how the wedding dress causes the wearer to think of oneself in this aspect since the performance is less practiced, only available to perform in a specific setting with the correct requisite.

145 In Swedish: “[…] jag tror att formatet på själva klänningen var vad jag personligen gillar och det var liksom sånt som jag gillar annars också skulle jag säga. Alltså det var rätt enhetligt med min stil i övrigt också liksom.” 146 In Swedish: ”Jag vill att den ska vara så enkel som möjligt. Jag hade dessutom gått ner ganska mycket i vikt så jag var väldigt snygg, så jag kände att jag vill gärna visa upp den här kroppen.” 147 Entwistle, The Fashioned Body, 31.

47 Summary

A majority of the participants desired both the fabric tulle and to wear a tulle skirt independently of how they dressed in general. The silhouette created by the skirt was preferred and explicitly wanted by three of the participants. Even if some participants did not mention a desire for this silhouette, they still wore tulle under their dress which created volume and shape, making the tulle function in the same way, albeit not visible on the outside. The shape of the big bottom with a small top is connected to ceremonial dresses and has not changed much. The silhouette is viewed as feminine and has connections to the ballet dress, as tulle is used for both tutus and wedding dresses and is viewed as a costume when worn outside of these settings. The concept of being or feeling utklädd was discussed in different ways by the participants. For Kim and Liv, the tulle skirt was connected to masquerades and balls, while Karolina did not want to feel utklädd at her wedding. For Liv, the expectations of femininity caused her to question her performance as a bride. None of the participants revealed any desire to change their body for the wedding dress; instead, the dress was adapted to suit the body. Elizabeth Wilson wrote of the fantasy culture in 1980 that “there is no real history, no real past; it is replaced by an instant, magical nostalgia, a strangely unmotivated appropriation of the past.148 The wedding dress in the 21st century is also an appropriation of the past, both in silhouette and etiquette, albeit viewed as a costume. In contrast to everyday clothing, the ceremonial dress is demarcated from the inner self. Everyday clothes are less reflected on in terms of identity and the concept of an inner self. The wedding dress, however, highlights these phenomenological questions since the dress practice differs from our everyday lives.

148 Elizabeth Wilson, Adorned in Dreams, 172.

48 Chapter 3. Different performances – Different identities

The Cinderella Bride

The fairy tale Cinderella is often referred to in regards to the wedding. As we will see, the idea of becoming a princess through the wedding has been conveyed, and is still conveyed, in advertisements for women. The concept of becoming a bride resembles the notion of becoming royalty, a princess, and is marketed as such. In the fairy tale Cinderella, the transformation from a commoner, abused by her stepmother and sister, to a princess is made possible by her new clothes. It allows her to become another person, and in the end, marry the prince. The transformation made possible by the dress is described quite well in 1697 by Perrault:

The two sisters were completely amazed, and even more when Cinderella took the other little slipper out of her pocket and put it on. At that moment her godmother arrived, and touching Cinderella’s clothes with her wand she made them even more splendid than all her other dresses. Then the two sisters recognized her for the beauty that they had seen at the ball. They threw themselves at her feet and asked her pardon for all that she had suffered when they had treated her so badly.149

The magnificence of Cinderella’s clothes functions as an extension of the new person that Cinderella becomes. She is looked at in a new way by her sisters, who now see her as she is. The performance of a bride can be compared to the outward appearance of a princess. Both stand in contrast to everyday life. Rundquist compares the fairy godmother to fashion creators, tailors and seamstresses, who can make every woman a queen of the day at her wedding by the dress that is only worn at this occasion.150 References to fairy tales and princesses are prominent in advertisements for bridal gowns. Diamond tiaras and luxurious settings have been signifying the princess bride and couture in advertising. Ingraham concludes that by allowing the bride to imagine herself as having access to high fashion and couture gowns, the advertisers create a perception that there is little difference between an average bride and princess bride.151 Adequate setting and props enable, at least to some extent, the bride to feel like a real-life princess. Goffman emphasizes that luxurious settings are available for rent in Western European countries, for those who can afford it.152 As the dress transforms the woman to a

149 Charles Perrault, “Cinderella, or The Little Slipper Made of Glass”, in The Complete Fairy Tales, trans. Christopher Betts, (Oxford University Press USA, 2010 [1697]), 189. ProQuest EBook Central. 150 Rundquist, “Klädd som en drottning”, 236. 151 Ingraham, White Weddings, 141. 152 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 33.

49 bride, it allows others to see and acknowledge her in this light. The wedding dress can function as an extension of the wearer in different ways, but it can also enable an imagination of the self as a princess for the day. Celebrities getting married are often displayed in television and gossip magazines, and the wedding dresses of the upper class and celebrities are thus available for everyone to see today. One can claim that the bride is still a common entertainment factor, just like when she was paraded across town for the lower classes to behold as entertainment, were the parishioners felt entitled to view the bridal couple after the weddings were conducted in the couple’s own home.153 However, movie stars and royalties became connected in the 20th century. Stephen Gundle, Professor in Film and Television studies, writes that there was a collaboration between the two, which caused members of the royalty to turn into star-like figures. The Hollywood glamour was, therefore, beneficial to the members of the royal family. 154 When movie star Grace Kelly married Prince Rainier in 1956 and became Princess Grace of Monaco, Hollywood could also immerse itself in the images of luxury and splendor connected with royalty.155 The making of movies in Europe caused Hollywood to rearrange glamour with regal themes and associations. Gundle emphasizes that this also fitted well with the aim of the United States to remodel West European economies and promote consumerism. 156 The Cinderella story was, then, also connected with the Cinema, as a real-life movie star, such as Grace Kelly, turned into a princess. The wedding dress stands for the transformation. Rachel Moseley states Audrey Hepburn as an example of a movie star playing Cinderella actors in films, where her clothes narrate status acquisition.157 When conducting my interviews, I noticed that two participants compared the look of the wedding outfit to that of a princess. The connotation between princesses and brides would occur in Sweden as well, even if most participants did not use these terms. The Cinderella trope is such an ingrained theme that the metaphor or princesses in terms of the wedding dress often are described in the bypass and not emphasized with many further descriptions or thoughts. Kim described her big tulle dress as: “It felt fun to have a proper princess dress […].158 Being dressed this way differs from Kim’s ordinary style, and marks a fun and exciting occasion. Helene described her first wedding as a “princess wedding”, which she did not want to conduct again for her second marriage. She wanted the next wedding

153 Bondeson, Seder och bruk, 116. 154 Gundle, 209. 155 Gundle, 217. 156 Gundle, 211. 157 Moseley, Rachel, “Dress, Class and Audrey Hepburn: The significance of the Cinderella Story”, in Fashioning Film Stars: Dress, Culture, Identity, Rachel Moseley (ed.), (London: Bfi, 2005), 116. 158 In Swedish: ”Det kändes kul att få ha en ordentlig så prinsessig klänning […].”

50 to be about her and her husband.

[…] I felt that this "princess wedding", I have already done it. It was a great wedding and it was one of the best days of my life, but that was no guarantee that it would… just because the marriage started with pomp and circumstance, it didn’t seem to last.159

Intriguingly, Helene also described her guests at her first wedding in Uppsala Cathedral as her audience: “For my first wedding. I talked a lot about the guests as the audience.”160 The first wedding was also the wedding described as a “princess wedding”, in contrast to her second wedding. The description of her guests as her audience emphasizes the concept of performing the princess wedding – an occasion that would require an audience. Helene, just like movie stars and royalties seen on television, is also watched by an, albeit smaller, audience when marrying in the Uppsala Cathedral.

It was really "My big day" and I got to have my nice dress, and we got to have our dance show since we had learned to dance, so it was like… we displayed something […]”161

As Goffman describes it, the setting is an essential aspect of the performance. The setting can include furniture, ornamentation or other vital requisites in the background that make the scene believable. The importance of the setting is apparent in the sense that the person cannot perform their intended character until they have arrived at the appropriate location to do so.162 However, the watching audience is here a critical requirement as well and functions as requisite for Helene on her first wedding. The white, ornamented wedding dress has shifted from the symbolism of innocence and virginity to that of a “princess bride”. McCracken exemplifies how advertising constructs goods to take on new meanings. The costumer is annually informed by the cultural meanings that exists in the consumer goods.163 Since the wedding dress has been marketed and connected with the Cinderella story by movies and magazines, the white dress is associated with being a “princess”. Being a princess also requires the environment to match

159 In Swedish: “Och jag kände väl att det här ’prinsessbröllopet’, det har jag redan gjort. Det var ett jättefint bröllop och det var ett av mitt livs bästa dagar, men det var inte någon garanti för att det skulle.... bara för att äktenskapet började med pompa och ståt så höll det liksom inte.” 160 In Swedish: “Inför mitt första bröllop så pratade jag mycket om gästerna som publiken.” 161 In Swedish: ”Det var verkligen min "Min stora dag" och jag fick ha min fina klänning och vi fick ha vår dansuppvisning för att vi hade lärt oss dansa, så det fanns som... man visade upp någonting […].” 162 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 32-33. 163 McCracken, ”Culture and Consumption ”, 76.

51 when getting married, and the consumer process is extended to the location to make a believable performance.

Fig. 3. Saga in her wedding dress. Fig.4. Bridal couple in Hälsingland, late 19th century.

The audience is also an essential requisite for Saga when dressed like a 19th century bride in Hälsingland. She wanted the wedding to be conducted in the same way as it would have been in 19th century Hälsingland as well, and it was important for her that the ceremony was as accurate as possible. Having the ceremony in church was part of the tradition, and Saga chose the most significant rural church. As the wedding was going to follow the old traditions as much as possible, she also had her closest friends dressed in the national costume as they functioned as the bridal train. In this tradition, the bridal couple rides on horses and has the bridal train following, with folk musicians going first. The bridal train was in accordance with a 19th century wedding in Hälsingland. The bridal train and folk musicians are, in this sense, both an audience as well as stage actors in this performance. As has been mentioned, this tradition requires a black wedding dress, with jewelry, flowers, lace and silk ribbons. Saga chose flowers made of fabric instead of paper, as was usually more common. Having the flowers made of fabric was because Saga did not want to risk the paper flowers staining the

52 dress. The wedding dress was sewn as accurately as possible, with help from friends and acquaintances in the village, but the visual aspect was the most crucial:

We thought more about what it would look like visually […] that was what I thought was important, that it would look good, that it would look genuine. There would have to be as authentic materials in the clothes as possible […].164

The concern for visual appearance was similarly raised by Helene. Since the wedding was in church, conveying or expressing modesty was of importance for her, as was discussed in chapter 1. Even though the visual aspects differ, both are performances conveying historical scenes of weddings. While Saga performs a wedding that exhibits the performance of a 19th- century wedding in Hälsingland, Helene is performing a “classic princess wedding” where the bride is viewed and described as a princess, available for an audience to view. These weddings require the church and audience as props and requisite, which are crucial aspects of the performance. Both weddings adhere to the concept of being utklädd as well, since they are portraying brides in weddings from different times: a 19th century bride, and a “princess bride”.

Different identities

“To stay in one’s room away from the place where the party is given, or away from where the practitioner attends his client, is to stay away from where reality is being performed. The world, in truth, is a wedding.”165 By this, Goffman refers to his theory of the individual manifesting society’s values as he presents himself before others. This presentation highlights the common and formal values of society more than the general behavior of the person. What is accepted at the moment will have some characteristics of a celebration.166 The wedding ceremony is a celebration of the marriage as an institution. To engage in a wedding, and wearing a wedding dress, is to ascribe to values of society deemed socially correct. However, as has been discussed, the traditional wedding dress can clash with the wearer’s perceived “real” identity since the ceremony enhances and exaggerates roles that might not be adhered to in everyday life, such as gender roles or conspicuous consumption. Some of the participants emphasized that they did not identify in general with the concept of being a bride, as they had never thought

164 In Swedish: “Vi tänkte mer på hur det skulle se ut visuellt […] det var det jag tänkte på var viktigt, att det skulle se bra ut, att det skulle se genuint ut. Det skulle vara så autentiska material i kläderna som det gick […].”

165 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 45. 166 Ibid.

53 of it previous to the engagement. Beatrice and Lovisa expressed that they had not been thinking about marriage or wedding dresses at all before the preparations and that the idea of being a bride had never been something with which they could identify. Liv had struggled with the idea of being a bride due to the attention received during the ceremony, which she could not relate to: I have never seen myself as someone who identifies with… I have a hard time with titles that I don’t have…. Working towards being a wife sounds . . . what to say… […] I do not have a problem with calling myself a lawyer […] that’s what I strive for, but I have… I feel that it is quite hard to stand as a bride […] I am not fond of birthdays either.167

The wedding ceremony made these participants reflect on how being a bride matched with their sense of identity. Their own identity was compared to and contrasted with the one of being a bride. Dressing as a bride could be compared to a masquerade since some participants thought of wearing the tulle skirt at a masquerade or ball. Tsëelon writes regarding the masquerade that it calls attention to the nature of the assumed identity and identity categories. The relationship between the assumed identity and its outward manifestation is being made aware of.168 If we look at the wedding as a masquerade, the ceremony awakens these ideas of identity as well. As a ritual, the ceremony transfers the woman from one group to another, which the wedding dress symbolises. Since there are etiquette rules and stereotypical expectations related to being a bride expressed in advertisements and marketing, such as the trope of being a princess and exaggerations of gender roles, the bride-to-be has to choose to actively avoid these tropes or take a stand against them if she disagrees with them. The bride can feel utklädd if she does not identify herself in the dress. However, for Helene, the wedding dress at her first wedding needed to be exaggerated as to differ itself from other dresses that she otherwise wore in her everyday life: “[…] for me to feel that it is a party, it must be a proper dress, that differs from my everyday dresses […].”169 Saga also wore a folk costume at other occasions, stating that she was “[…] used to wearing folk costumes, so the difference is not huge […]”. For them, the wedding dress did not significantly clash with their perceived identities. Even though Beatrice also wore similar clothes in general, the tulle skirt could be used at a masquerade,

167 In Swedish: “Jag har aldrig sett mig som sån som identifierar mig som varken... jag har svårt för det där liksom med titlar som jag inte har... ja men jobbat för att bli fru låter ju.… vad ska man säga […] Jag har inget problem med att kalla mig för jurist […] sånt strävar jag efter, men jag har nog... och det känner jag, att jag tycker det är ganska jobbigt att stå brud, […] jag tycker inte heller så mycket om att fylla år.” 168 Tsëelon, “Introduction”, Masquerade and identities, 3. 169 In Swedish: “[…] för att jag ska känna att det är fest, så måste det vara en ordentlig klänning, att den skiljer sig från mina vardagsklänningar.”

54 while the top could be worn as a dress separate from the skirt. This dress, designed by Ida Sjöstedt, was also used by Beatrice at her 30th birthday. Since Beatrice bought clothes from Ida Sjöstedt in general and liked the designs, the dress worn with her tulle skirt was not associated with a masquerade. The dichotomy between the wedding dress and everyday clothes was noticeable for most of the participants. Lovisa, however, wore her wedding dress at another occasion There were some friends who were going to have a […] summer party in some garden […] I understood that they were looking for a cocktail party atmosphere as well. People would be a bit dressed up, so to speak. And then I thought:” […] maybe there is someone at this party that will remember […], or who knows and has seen me, in this dress. And since it is not a traditional wedding dress, it does not scream wedding dress, it can just as easily scream “fun summer party”.170

As the dress had originally been a party dress, less traditional, Lovisa could transform it to a cocktail dress. Since she did not think of her dress as typical for a wedding dress, it could be worn at another festive occasion due to the ceremonial shape of the dress. However, since Lovisa had questioned the norms of weddings in general, this could also affect the choice of wearing it again. Beatrice used her tailored dress from Ida Sjöstedt at her 30th birthday, this dress was also deemed separate from the wedding, while only the tulle skirt was connected with being utklädd. Aspects of the dress, other than its aesthetics, also reflected the personal choices of some of the women. For example, Helene’s choice to spend less money on her second dress reflected the intimacy and simplicity she wanted for her second wedding. Lovisa also stated that she felt happy with her choice of dress afterwards as her independent decisions for the wedding was manifested in the dress: “I’m very happy about […] decisions we made about how we chose to get married, because they are very much manifested in this dress.171 The dress, then, became a material manifestation of the choices made for the wedding which differed from weddings guided by etiquette books or wedding magazines. It is also an extension of Lovisa’s sense of identity and self, which questioned the norms required of the wedding ceremony in general.

170 In Swedish: “Det var några kompisar som skulle ha en liten fräsig sommarfest ute i någon trädgård, och det var lite… jag förstod att de var ute efter en cocktailfest-stämning liksom. Folk skulle vara lite uppklädda, om man säger så. Och då tänkte jag: ”jaa… det är kanske en person på den här festen som kommer komma ihåg att jag, eller som vet och har sett mig, i den här klänningen. Och eftersom det inte är en traditionell bröllopsklänning, den skriker inte bröllopsklänning, då kan jag lika gärna skrika ’kul sommarfest’”. 171 In Swedish: “Jag blir väldigt glad över […] beslut som vi tog kring hur vi valde att gifta oss. För de manifesteras väldigt mycket i den här klänningen.”

55 When the ceremony is over

As the ceremony is over, the dress goes in the closet again. Even though the wedding dress is associated with the wedding ceremony, there are different reasons for saving the dress afterwards. All of the participants interviewed had saved their dress after the wedding. To save the dress, was a common factor, that the women did regardless of their other thoughts or feelings regarding the ceremony. Some of the women had hopes of the dress being worn by someone of the younger generation in the future. Helene, who has a son, stated that maybe a daughter or a friend could wear it later. Liv also said that if she were to have a daughter in the future, she hoped that this daughter would wear the dress. This sentiment was also expressed by Saga who hoped that her daughter would wear the dress in the future. Karoline stated that she had saved her dress due to an emotional attachment to it, but that she herself would never wear it again. Beatrice, who was pregnant during the interview, said that she would not be able to wear her tailored dress after the pregnancy as she did not think her body would fit the dress again. Even though she thought that she would not be able to wear it again, she would still keep it. This could also be due to the dress being sewn by designer Ida Sjöstedt and that a lot of money had been spent on it. As McCracken states, gifts to children contain symbolic properties that the parent would like the children to possess.172 In the case of dresses, the gift giver wants a particular concept of herself as a woman to be passed over to the gift taker.173 This can play a role in the choice of saving the dress in the hope that a future child would wear it; the child would possess qualities that the participant wants the child to inherit. This can also be discussed in the case of the wedding dress that Liv inherited from her grandmother. The dress as a garment was imbedded with values and meanings, which also can function as an extension of her grandmother’s self. This is evident when Liv mentions, in regards to traditional concepts of the wedding, that if she were to wear her grandmothers dress having had children before the wedding, it is possible that her grandmother would “roll in her grave.”174 When Liv expresses that her grandmother would be disappointed if she wore her dress while having had children before her wedding, the dress is revealed as a material object of the values and expectations that the grandmother would have liked Liv to inherit. Helene claimed that she would like to be buried in her wedding dress that she wore

172 McCracken, “Culture and Consumption”, 78. 173 Ibid. 174 In Swedish: ”Knorra i graven.”

56 during her first wedding. One could claim that the beauty and splendor of her first dress corresponds more to Helene’s feeling of self than the two dresses bought for her second wedding. As there would be no formal occasion appropriate to wear this first wedding dress again, it can be brought with her to her grave, as an extension of herself. Kim did not care if her dress would be wet or ruined at the wedding ceremony. As she contemplated how much money she would spend on her dress, a decision was made with regards to how much she would care if it got ruined in some way. In her words “[…] I just wanted to feel like ‘I can have it today’ and then, if it gets ruined, it gets ruined, because I will not wear it again anyway.”175 However, As Kim still saved the tulle skirt, this statement was contradicted, since she also claimed that it was a fun garment to have and that she had saved it so she could potentially wear it at a ball. Kim also said that she liked the fact that the tulle skirt was a bit dirty, as it showed that it had been used. The dirt on the dress could emphasize and work as proof of the transition from unmarried to married, where the dress as a material object is a kind of a souvenir displaying how the changes of marital status have occurred. To save the dress reveals a sentimental value, and an attachment to the garment as an object. However, Goffman notes: “[…] it is easy to assume that the content of the presentation is merely an expressive extension of the characteristics of the performer and to see the function of the performance in these personal terms.”176 The notion of saving a dress for its sentimental value or to give to one’s children can also be a part of the performance of being a bride. The dress is thus not an extension of the bride herself, but a part of the performance of the behaviour of a married woman. Goffman explains that a performance is modified to fit into the understanding and expectations of the society in which it is presented.177 To save the dress and claim a sentimental value connected to it can also be said to be expected of this performance. The act of being a bride is extended outside of the wedding, to future children, and to the grave.

Summary

The Cinderella trope has been prevalent in western society regarding weddings. Hollywood has emphasized this trope in movies, and celebrities such as Grace Kelly have depicted a Hollywood star becoming a real-life Princess by marriage. Advertising for marriages plays with the idea of being a princess for a day when marketing weddings, making the distance between

175 In Swedish: “[…] jag ville bara känna att ”jag kan ha den idag”, sen så, blir den förstörd så blir den förstörd, för jag kommer inte vilja ha den något mer.” 176 Goffman, The presentation of self in everyday life, 83. 177 Ibid., 44.

57 the ordinary woman and an actual princess smaller. Being a princess is so ingrained in our culture that one connects this with the wedding dress without further thoughts. Drawing from Goffman’s example of how the correct requisite and location is required for a performance to be conducted, I have exemplified that the audience is essential when performing a “princess wedding”. The audience is also required for the 19th-century Hälsingland wedding. The audience is obligatory for the performance as it functions as both requisite and actors in the performance. To wear the right wedding dress for this occasion is meaningless without an audience. The wedding caused some participants to reflect on their identity. Like the masquerade, it raises thoughts on natural and fabricated identities, where the participant expressed how they as a person differ from the norm of being a bride. The dress becomes part of a masquerade in contrast to the perception of one’s authentic self. Participants who dressed similar to the wedding dress in general, did not express this aspect. The dress was analyzed in terms of embedded meanings and values, transferred to the children who might inherit it. However, as the bride is expected to save the dress after the wedding, it is a part of the performance to do so. The performance of a bride is extended and adhered to after the ceremony as well.

58 Final conclusion

This thesis has investigated the concept of wearing a wedding dress in the 21st century in Sweden. I have interviewed seven women who got married between 2009-2020 to find common themes around the wedding dress. I have used these interviews and etiquette books from the 21st century as material in this study. The interviews were conducted digitally on Zoom. A theme of being utklädd stood out to me as being the vital aspect of the wedding dress in Sweden in the 21st century. This theme was noticeable in different aspects and has been discussed from different angles in this thesis. The dress was analyzed as a material object conveying cultural values in the 21st century regarding etiquette, femininity and identity. The theories of performance by Goffman and Tsëelon on performance and modesty were used as the main theoretical framework. The wedding is a performance, as is every other interaction in everyday life. However, the wedding opens up for ideas on identity and the self, as the ceremony comes with expectations and etiquette rules, such as adhering to expected femininity and modesty. Ideas on the authentic self as a contrast to the surface discussed in material culture by Miller, Woodward and Fisher were applied to the wedding dress. The wedding dress adheres less to the inner "real" self than everyday clothes. Performing in a ritual opens up for discussions on how garments worn on these occasions differ from everyday clothes regarding the dichotomy of the inner self and the surface. Almost all participants turned to the web and other screen-based forums when searching for a wedding dress. The web replaced bridal magazines. A majority of participants used Pinterest to learn or broaden their view about how to dress at weddings. Only two of the participants bought their wedding dresses at a bridal store but expressed that they found that the bridal stores were not ideal. The reason for turning to the web was to broaden the view of alternatives, and the web functioned to inform and mediate how brides should look in the 21st century. Only one participant mentioned briefly having looked at a bridal magazine. All participants decided on the wedding dress early in the process. The late etiquette expert Ribbing stated that the bride should not wear short dresses or display cleavage in church. She exemplified in the Swedish magazine Dagens Nyheter in a column that the bride would appear as utklädd if she wore a short dress at the wedding ceremony. This statement revealed the ceremony as a performance where the bride had to act out modesty in clothes not to appear utklädd. Ribbing advised against dressing “sexy” at the wedding and condemned the fact that brides of the 21st century wore cleavage and short dresses

59 in church. I found that the same advice was told in the 19th century in a Swedish fashion magazine as in the 21st century regarding wearing white when remarrying and after having children. Ribbing used the term “style” when describing a bride dressing correctly at the wedding. Drawing from ideas of cultural theorist Tsëelon, I concluded that the description of displaying “style” at the wedding stems from the idea of a lack of moral when displaying oneself as sexual as a woman. Women have been responsible for how others perceive her in regards to modesty and deemed immoral if others viewed her as sexual. In the 19th century, the term shifted in the description from a lack of moral to a lack of character. In the 21st century, to reveal oneself as sexy in the wedding dress ceremony was expressed as lacking “style” instead. I found that all participants except for two adhered to these etiquette rules, even if they mentioned it or not. Two participants who married in church expressed having adapted to these rules, where one bought a new dress for the wedding ceremony while the other bought a little jacket to cover her bare shoulders. She did not cover up her shoulders when remarrying. Even though she had converted to Catholicism this time, the wedding was conducted in a civil ceremony, which could have affected the choice of not covering the shoulders. I found that the two participants who did not adhere to these etiquette rules, such as covering their bare shoulders or wearing a long dress in church, had stated opinions on being against norms connected with the wedding ceremony in general, such as gender roles expected and outdated ideas. All participants except for one wore tulle, either under the dress or layered over the dress. The one participant who did not wear tulle was dressed as a 19th-century bride in Hälsingland, and her dress was therefore in wool. The layered tulle functioned in every case to create a silhouette that has been connected to ceremonial occasions and changed slowly. Some participants connected the tulle skirt to a masquerade as they could imagine wearing it again for such an occasion. I concluded that everyday clothes and ceremonial clothes could be discussed in terms of the dichotomy between an “inner self” and outer surface, which Woodward and Fisher have argued is a dichotomy mainly in the West. The everyday clothes can be connected to the “inner self”, while ceremonial clothes such as the wedding dress are attached to the outer surface as masquerade clothing. Participants who did not dress similar to the wedding dress silhouette in their everyday lives expressed a desire for this silhouette as much as the participants dressed in a typical “feminine” way. The ceremonial dress is emphasized and desired in Sweden in the 21st century, independent of ordinary clothes. One participant experienced anxiety in dressing as a bride since she compared herself to other women, who she deemed more believable as brides.

60 Her comparison of herself caused her to reflect on her own identity in terms of femininity and she deemed herself as appropriating womanhood. To stand as a bride caused her to feel utklädd as a woman. This feeling did not stop her from wearing a classic bridal dress or from adhering to rules of both etiquette and femininity. Two participants expressed the connection between being a princess and being a bride. Hollywood has connected movie stars with royals, and the connection is repeated in the trope of Cinderella in terms of choosing a wedding dress. As one dresses for the wedding, an audience is required. The audience functions as a requisite and props and is vital for conducting a princess wedding or a wedding from 19th century Hälsingland. Also discussed is how the participants spoke about how they felt that their identities matched with being a bride. Tsëelon’s description of the masquerade as awakening different identities was compared to the wedding where identities could be reflected on as well, causing the wedding again to be connected to a masquerade in Sweden. It was important for the participants to feel comfortable at the wedding, which meant not to feel utklädd. As all participants saved their wedding dresses, I drew from McCracken’s terms of gift- giving where the gift-giver wants the receiver to possess values connected with the object. The object is embedded with meanings that they want the receiver to inherit. Many women wanted a child to inherit the dress in the future, which could be an argument that the dresses were perceived to be embedded with sentimental value. However, as I have used Goffman's theories of performance, I stated that saving the dress is also a part of the performance of being a bride and that the values and identities can be questioned. As there is no “real self” but performances conducted in different ways, saving the dress is a part of being a married woman. As the etiquette rules no longer serve the same functions as before, they are more of an aesthetic imitation of modesty than anything else. No one expects a bride to be a virgin when marrying in Sweden. Ideas of femininity and modesty are appropriated and repeated, which causes the wearer to reflect on one’s identity. The wearer feels utklädd when their sense of identity clashes with this performance, making the wedding appear as a kind of masquerade. In this thesis, I have researched how ritual clothing, such as the wedding dress, opens up for ideas on the self and discussions on the concept of being utklädd. The wedding ritual is likened to a masquerade, where the bride questions her identity of self. The division between an “inner self” and outer surfaces such as clothes has been questioned in research of material culture. I have contributed with an expansion of this thought but applied it to clothes worn in rituals such as the wedding ceremony. I have also compared how the sense of self can be talked about in comparison to everyday clothes, deemed truer to the self. My contribution to fashion

61 studies is my investigation of how modesty is acted out as part of a performance expected of women in Sweden marrying in the 21st century, and of how the wedding dress reveals a dichotomy between identities, where ritual clothing such as the wedding dress display feelings and concepts of being utklädd.

Future research

For this thesis I have interviewed seven women who married in both church weddings and civil ceremonies. It is not representative for Sweden in general, as there has not been diversity in regards to religion, background or age. Future research could compare different weddings of other religions in Sweden and how bridal wear differs from these aspects. As the pandemic comes to an end, an object study as well as a wardrobe study would be a fruitful study for future research on the wedding dress. Feelings of being utklädd could then be compared with different generations and religions. The wedding dress could also be compared to clothes in other rituals, such as funerals. The dichotomy between everyday clothes and ceremonial clothes connected to rituals is a valuable angle in research on identity in dress practices. A postmodern and Marxist analysis of the meanings of signs in ritual dress would be an interesting theoretical framework for future studies. These perspectives offer many theories useful for interpreting how wedding dresses and other ritual garments convey signs, stripped of old meanings and replaced with new ones.

62 References

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Image sources

Cover photo: Anders Zorn, The Bride, 1886. Image source: https://gallerix.org/album/Anders-Zorn/pic/glrx-7942, accessed May 27, 2021. Fig.1. Marie Taglioni in La Sylphide, 1832. Image source: https://www.italianways.com/maria-taglioni-a-dancing-star/, accessed May 27, 2021. Fig.2. Kim at her wedding. Photographer: Liam Warton. Authors private collection. Fig.3. Saga at her wedding. Photographer: Josephine Eriksson. Authors private collection. Fig.4. Wedding. The Bridal Couple Per Persson and Brita Eriksdotter in Stavsätra, Järvsö, Hälsingland. Photographer: Ateljé Hulda Ström, Järvsö. Image source: https://digitaltmuseum.se/011013844099/brollop-brudparet-per-persson-och-brita- eriksdotter-i-stavsatra-jarvso, accessed May 27, 2021.

67 Appendix

Questions asked during the interviews.

When did you start planning for the wedding dress? Where did you buy your wedding dress? Was it a civil ceremony or a church ceremony? Did you think about wedding dresses before getting engaged? How did you think in regards to choosing a wedding dress? How did it feel to wear the wedding dress at the ceremony? What feelings do you get when you look at the dress today? Have you ever regretted the choice of your wedding dress? Do you dress in feminine clothes otherwise, or did you do it for the wedding ceremony? Did you try to gain/lose weight or alter the body in other ways before the ceremony?

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Stockholms universitet/Stockholm University SE-106 91 Stockholm Telefon/Phone: 08 – 16 20 00 www.su.se

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