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5-6-1982

Kenyon Collegian - May 6, 1982

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Established 1856 low : lume CIX, Number 26 Kenyon College, Gambier, Ohio 43022 Thursday, May 6, 1982 Trustees Discuss Aid and Accessibility By Craig Richardson Mr. Thomas talked about the Jordan added that the residential "Lively interest, good spirit and future of Kenyon and said that the character of Kenyon is of utmost good attendance" was how thinking will remain aggressive, importance. The Board finally Richard Thomas, Chair of the building on the momentum that agreed that it is a topic which Board of Trustees, characterized has already been developed. He merits further discussion in the this past Trustee Weekend. v . added that average SAT scores for future. Mr. Thomas and President Jor- entering freshmen are still on an Another concern of Trustee dan discussed some of the topics upward trend. Weekend was the relatively small brought up during the weekend. Plans have also been made to ap- size of Kenyon's endowment. This Mr. Thomas said that Kenyon is prove allocation of funds for in- is because Kenyon has only 8000 applying for a grant from the stalling chair lifts in Bexley, alumni, Mr. Thomas noted, and Hewlett Mellon Foundation. The President Jordan stated. He said many of them are not at their peak 200,000 dollar grant, if received by that future handicap projects will income levels. "We need con- Kenyon, will be used for a be assessed on the basis of need, tinuing alumni support and need to discretionary fund, Mr. Thomas and will continue to be an ongoing get the graduating seniors in the stated. President Jordan added concern at Kenyon. habit of contributing. Presently, that this means the fund will be Mr. Thomas commented that at we have 50 percent of the entire V.. ( used for things which are or- the Budget Committee meeting, he alumni contributing gifts, Mr. dinarily not budgeted for the was informed that this is the thir- Thomas said. President Jordan ad- school year. teenth consecutive year Kenyon ded that students are benefitting Financial aid and student loan has had a balanced budget, and from other's gifts while in school, cuts were also discussed. said this is an admirable ac- and thus should consider helping v President Jordan said that these complishment. others once they are out of school. cuts are hurting Kenyon far less The Board of Trustees also Mr. Thomas concluded with his than originally anticipated. Total discussed at length the 10 mile feelings about the Board of liomson Reminisces student loans are expected to drop rule, which means that faculty Trustees. "I think the role of the from 1,987,343 dollars to 740,000 must live within 10 miles of the Board of Trustees is very im- dollars. However, scholarships campus. portant," he said, "and we are Bids and grants are expected to rise He stated that there is a com- primarily' interested in attracting Kenyon Farewell from 1,631,074 dollars to 1,871,620 mitment to preserve the character people who are willing to work and dollars next year. of Kenyon College and President get involved, not just big names." By Martha Lorenz widespread apathy is. Here, there me wno entered Kenyon along are many students who do care and h the Class of '83 is moving on--- d who are actively involved, more a year before the rest of the than I've seen at other institutions. iors make their break. Karen It also helps that here we have Judicial Process to be Reviewed liamson is leaving this summer dedicated and a administrators By Martha Lorenz the use of research services by new External Affairs Committee er a three-yea- r as good faculty who eager to stint are students. She developed the of Student Council will distant Dean of Students. direct and encourage students." become At its April 28 meeting, Senate proposal in attempt to restrict permanent. also elected to illiamson came to Kenyon in Williamson see few Senate did a unanimously approved a proposal student access to and solicitation form a subcommittee to study 9 after holding administrative weaknesses of Kenyon, most for the development of a by research services. Townsend academic itions (Mass.) calendar alternatives. at Lesley College notably its isolation. She said that commission to study the judiciary will bring a final version of the Senator Dan Mechem introduced i Fitchburg State College community life here in Gambier process at Kenyon. The plan statement to the Academic the DischLorenz proposal, which ass.). Her feelings about can be difficult for a single person, marked the conclusion of Senate's Standards Committee for possible students in comparison and spouses of ivon for the professors month-lon- g deliberation about the inclusion in the student handbook. before first semester exams be h Fitch-?- ? who want to of those at Lesley and have lives their relationship between, and the In other business, Senate guaranteed; the 1982-8- 3 Senate will "It's a treat to work with own. "Our isolation has kept us duties of, the Judicial Board and approved Thorpe's motion to appoint the subcommittee next ients here after working with from hiring some good people," the Dean's Office. revise the Constitution so that the fall. ients at other places . . . she candidly admits. Dean Thomas Edwards yon students don't need us as The Assistant Dean also com- submitted a written motion to ch as students at other schools mented about the 10-Mi- le Rule, instigate a thorough investigation ? worked out. They have a lot of which stipulates that full-tim- e of "the College's policies, iative and perseverance." faculty members must live within procedures and practices" he Assistant Dean charac-ze- s 10 miles of the College: "It's my regarding the regulation of student her job as "mostly a lot of guess that the rule will probably be behavior. Noting that "a :'f ic directing," but feels a great relaxed, that it won't be enforced comprehensive review is .1 of satisfaction about what she with a yardstick. Almost everyone necessary," Edwards pointed out done here. There are a few will live as close as possible that the system as it now operates e ends Williamson will not be anyway . . . it's the spirit of is not conducive to an "expedient, i e to tie up before her departure, residentiality that's important to efficient, and fair" judiciary ::e projects which will have to Kenyon." process. .r ' , f Williamson's reason for leaving completed by her successor, but commission will be " The .; ! - li-- 3i '. ,-- - feels she has helped make is simple and personal: she and composed of students, faculty and ients aware that they can come her husband Doug, who is at administrators. Senate Chairman er office for help. Boston University working toward Alan Batchelder and Student I think," Williamson notes, a doctorate degree, have decided Council President Morris Thorpe at we've finally cultivated the that the "commuter marriage" is have begun the search for .' - mi : ., . . i. , ; ( K?. -- i; .v.-.- . .. r ,w..'.v a tude that it's okay to ask for not for them. The Reverend Mr. members. sistance here if your Williamson is on special ap- Senate also voted to anization is having problems, pointment of the Bishop to finish "recommend" to the deans and the ve offered aid in a wide range his doctorate at B.U., and receives Judicial Board the subcommittee areas, and people have shown some financial assistance. He got a suggestions that were approved at re willingness to come forward Master of Theological Studies from the last meeting. The proposals are i accept it." Harvard Divinity School several intended to improve Villiamson's feelings about years ago, but found that the communication between the deans nyon students are clearly Southern New England Conference and the Board, and also clarify itive. When asked what she could not ordain him because their respective roles in the LJ , t - nld remember most when she minorities were needed. He and his judiciary process. The proposals yhJiL ked back on her tenure at wife came to Ohio when she got her will also be passed onto the newly-forme-d nyon, she unhesitatingly job at Kenyon and he found out that commission for future Summer Send Off lied, "The energy, vitality, and East Ohio Conference would or- consideration. Send-Of- on South diligence of the students. dain him. Williamson calls her Dean Margaret Townsend This past weekend, the Summer f was held the in X-Me- n, opened the day of fun, When Kenyon students com-i- n husband's appointment a "once presented a statement regarding Quad. The Kenyon rock group, the the main event of the day: The about aoathv." she added, continued on page eight followed by Livingston Taylor, and by all as ARA provided a picnic ley don't know what real, Romantics. A fun time was had dinner of hot dogs and hamburgers New Faculty to Join Kenyon Next Year is so that college past fall and a position in costume The purpose Lisa Compton and Amy Glaser the resignation of convocations and student and faculty next design following place Joining the Kenyon -- faculty lectureships can take buzanne uuugan m t.iv. i". is Senior Week Activities ar will be Debbie Ebner, Alonzo is needed to till at a time when nothing else Mills. These Art History teacher Hall and a garden. gria and Harry vacancy of Bonna Wescott, as scheduled. Friday Peirce will begin the This Thursday and Professors Alan Batchelder, "ee visiting professors visiting professorship has ter- schedules will be -- tentative xt her to one half of this time Robert Bennett, Peter Collings, fall. A visiting professor is One third to seniors place minated. dedicated to teachers passed out James Hans, Judy Smith, Bon- Debbie Ebner will take the to fill a Chemistry will also be the next round of while he is on also needed they can advise students. concerning na Wescoat Holtzman, and Allan Feningstein because of the sabbatical" so that senior activities Senior Week. one year. Alonzo Alegria position Whenever these "advising hours" Provost Jerry Irish have been ive for leave of Owen York. This will be the last chance for U of both Dan in effect, teachers will be nominated for the Senior Cup. take the place are seniors to make any -.rr Associate Cup is awarded to i- new This and Harlene Marley, in the The position of a required to be in their offices. concerning the The Senior still under con- will enable both suggestions the faculty member the senior ama Department, as each take Provost is also common hour events and movies planned for respectively. Harry students and teachers to see each class feels has done the most for , eyear leave sideration. Week. without the hassles of trying Senior the class. i'Jls will be joining the Classics college next year other Ballots for the Senior Gift and " ipartment Bennett Also new to the to rearrange their schedules. This This week you will also as Robert hour. This com- Senior Cup will be distributed at Ikes year sabbatical, and will be a common will be helpful when academic ad- receive a CDC and Alumni a one will be on Tuesdays and the same time as the Senior l-iuiu- is Office questionaire, please turn will take tne place oi iu mon hour vising and course selection Period C. The Senate Week schedules. this in as soon as possible. The ;ber the following year. Thursdays, needed for second semester. voting for the proposed this idea and it was also com- Last week's results are very important for positions Provost Irish feels that this run-of- There are still some by student and senior gift resulted in a f in-i- de both offices. at to filled. These recommended mon hour "will provide a time for have yet be groups. This creates a election between a clock ior tenure track position in dan-a- s faculty people to do these things." "free-zone- students. StaceyTample resigned this " for Pag Two Th Knyon Collegian Thursday, May ij; Wf1'

encourages all to the We insist, however, the A THE KENYON COLLEGIAN letters Editors. that letters be Toast to double-space- the d Future J (concise and without personal malice. All submissions must be typed, on a 60 character line. y. 7 tequest all letters be turned in on Saturday before p.m. We reserve the right to edit all material while maintaining tne original intentions oi ine particular suumissiuns everyone, come fill your glasses, "Come, political ploy by a party with which The New Co-o- p Fill them with sparkling wine, He Can't Identify he cannot identify himself. drink together Sincerely, And then we'll Joyce To All Students (via the Collegian Ninety-Nin- e ; Parr A toast to To the Editors of the Collegian : Art Department Editors): before us, And in the years We are the coordinators for the Co-o-p 1922-193- What e're our stations be, In reply to Professor Short's Bookstore for the 3 in With fondest recollections essay the Political Forum last Secretary Thanks academic year, and for those of I would simply ask him to you who thought the Co-o-p We will remember thee. week, was a imagine himself having grown up Student Council brand of designer jeans, we come, gather 'round would Everyone, in a world in which the generic like to inform you about our ; With ties of friendship bound "she", rather than "he", was the To the Editors: existence and our intentions. The I like to take an op- Co-o- p Shout out in unison, norm. Put himself in the place of a would is not hazardous to your portunity to express the ap- "ninety-Nin- e child in school hearing the word health; rather it is an organic and Old Kenyon." I "she" used as a pronoun whenever preciation and satisfaction have student-ru- n organization designed a person was referred to. Try to found in working with Student both as an alternative to the govern- imagine the effects of his own Council this year. Campus escalating costs of new books, as sense of himself, to be constantly ment can be effective at Kenyon; well as a depository for labelled "her". If it were generic, I believe that Council has accom- undesirable ones. In order to would it really matter? plished quite a few constructive provide a wide selection next fall, Although we didn't have ninety-nin- e issues, it sure prove to be to changes which will we will need as many contributors' When you see two gray-haire-d I would also ask him imagine felt like it at times. beneficial. Among them is the as possible this spring, so we will to in a few weeks, what it would be like, after having restructuring and establishment women hobble up receive diplomas grown up in such a world, to finally be collecting books both at the K.C. of committees. Also Coun- door-to-doo- r. you'll see what we mean. Everyone thought we were begin to persons several and If you are hear male cil promoted the notion that it crazy, taking on the Collegian second semester senior granted the pronoun "him", to go reluctant to surrender the custody is an effective forum for both Co-o-p, year, actually, we'd do it again; we're just getting into public places and feel what it of your books to the there but student and faculty opi nion. At the are a few reasons why you should hang of it, and now we have to hang it up. (For must be like to hear instead of the very Council has always tried the prevailing "God of our Mothers", least think twice. First, unless you are to promote communication deep-roote- d $16,000 and a college car, we'll seriouslv consider it; finally made to better engaged in a love reference on campus; it is sad to note that it's a rough job market out in the real world). "Fathers" as well. To feel what it affair with a book, then you might other forums have not always as well relinquish it and help But thanks and support go to our staff who gave it must be like when those little steps towards this goal. of recognition are attacked by the worked eliminate storage problems. their best effort. We all gave it our best shot. Hopefully next year a more Secondly, you will be receiving to vision of newspaper, prevailing Mothers in power, as mature will prevail in this We have been faithful our a being irrelevant and unnecessary. attitude money for an item that might objective, accurate, fair, newsworthy, informative area. otherwise remain untouched. So, if To find himself and all other male Before leaving Kenyon I would But most we main- in of any of your books survived Spring and entertaining. improtantly, persons allied the minds the like to urge underclassmen to think tained an independent identity. We cannot emphasize Mothers, with the political Riot, then look for posted collection now about getting involved next times for your dorm. If you have enough, that a newspaper can only maintain its in- movement which brought about year with campus government; the beginnings of recognition of the any questions concerning the C- tegrity when it is free from any and all influence. the rewards can be very satisfying. oop, feel free to talk with any of us importance of language, and then to publicly thank all Looking back at issues we covered, the debate on to advantages I'd also like anytime. Your help will be greatly have their Council members, especially women's rights stands out. Awareness arose from threatened because they're too appreciated. "political". Morris, Tom and Paul, for giving speakers, conferences, the sexual harassment issue much of themselves to create the Sincerely, on campus, the new language policy, the inequality of Until Mr. Short can accomplish 1981-8- 2 Student Council. Thank you housing, and the women's studies course; an this feat of the imagination, I think and good luck next year. Dave Deacon awareness that will hopefully bring solutions to long- he should be very careful about Sincerely, Thomas Z. Hedge dismissing the question of Pamela Sue Becker, Joseph Horning standing human inadequacies. language as being no more than a Student Council Secretary John Wagner Although we leave Kenyon remembering Alan Alda, Gloria Steinem, and such positive steps as the women's studies course, we hesitate as we look A World in Midst of Transition beyond hill of national issues the the where the fates the byJeffEhrbar they have too many personal going to change the world' of the ERA, as well as the even more basic Voting Let not young souls be smothered problems they have to contend Probably not. History has a way of Rights Act of 1965 will be decided before our return out before They do quaint deeds with. It's hard just getting by shaping itself that usually next year. Community members complain about and fully flaunt their pride today." disregards any individuals. Yet isolation on "Magic and we encourage --Vachel Lindsey "Yea, but we can change that. there was something noble in the Mountain," Beyond the turn, the dense in- tone, something that dese- to Or, at least, I can try." Evan's you now get involved this Summer, and bring back dustrialization of St. Catherine I frowned. "Evan, people don't rved respect. He was at least e- a new awareness and perspective in the Fall. opened up to us. Resting on giant want their world distupted. Right xploring the possibilities. Hopefully, the new forum for political concerns, The amphitheatre its factories belowed now everyone is looking for It was at this time that I realized Gambier Journal, will be utilized for this by the whole out smoke that stagnated over the security in a very insecure that Evan was graduating. And As shifted gears would not be To Doug Heuck and his staff we send city. Evan the society." when he left, things community. engine of the Brat hummed in Evan took his eyes from the the same. In graduating his good wishes for success. unison with the wheels. road. "Caused or not, things are lifestyle would change, and by his To the Collegian staff next year we praise your I took a sip of my Bradors. the going to have to change. You read leavings so would mine. extra commitment to Kenyon by providing it with a night before in Toronto was, like the papers, you can see it in your All the insincerity, the co- "it-will-look-good-on-my-re- , sume" journalistic For us, this is a hard the whole trip, dream-like- almost own neighborhood - American has nformity, the quality effort. incomprehensible. One minute we attitudes, all the to never been in a situation like it is editorial write, because it reinforces the fact that in were eating pizza in the Pirate's right now. A revolution is going to heartbreaks and the disa- a few weeks we will no longer be a part of the Kenyon Cove, the next minute we were come." ppointments - it all seemed so trivial Community. traveling north on 1-- 90 in below I imagined myself camped out now. We had survived it together Thanks again to you all. freezing weather. Oh, the ex- on my front lawn with a .12 guage, and surmounted it with humor. Sincerely, happily, and with relief, citement of college life ! guarding my house against looters. I guess that's what the "Kenyon Evan reached from the steering A Third World Man, just like the Experience" is all aobut. (It is a C . Dale West, Sharon L. Castle wheel and pressed a selector but- survivalists. I grinned at him. shame they don't print it up that ton on the radio. The sorority "Should I buy a handgun? " way in the student handbook.) sound of the Go-G-os blasted Evan was not in a kidding mood. After several minutes of silence through the front speakers. "We "Not that kind of revolution - you Evan broke the ice. "We're going got the beat, we got the beat, we know what I'm talking about. Our to need some gas pretty son." got the beat, we got it! " whole culture is changing, due to I pointe ahead to the right. "Why The 1 I turned the radio down. "It economics. A new lifestyle is ap- : don't we stop up here?" sounds like a girls' slumber party." proaching us." His tone turned We pulled into a shopping center Evan laughed. "They're really resolute. "What we have to do is directly off of the highway. As I got Kenyon kk Collegian not that bad." try to understand this change and out of the car I looked at the sky. the I respect Evan's musical taste make it beneficial to all." The sun had re-appear- ed over highly, but on occasion he has let I stared out the window and wat- highway, trying to pentrate have Editors-in-Chie- me down. Dylan wrote would Sharon Castle, C. Dale West f "I heard ched the industry of St. Catherines through the icy air. It their lyrics." turn into rustic suburbs. Were we to wait for us, at least for now. Evan handed me his empty. "I News Editor Brian Kearney ' saw in of i them New couple : a i York i i i : i : ! i i L-- ! m Li-M- !. ' J. i-l -i years ago. They sounded totally Michael Cannizzaro. Political Forum Editor i i i different. They took more chan- Gambier is beautiful in the Summer jMelinda Roberts. . . . Features Editor ces." "But now they are very rich." I Make Your ;Anna Grimes. . . . Assistant Features Editor 1 1 i 1 ' ' 1 ' !

1 I 1 I ! opened a beer. guess we l I : I : I M Evan "I Arts Editors all have to sell out some day. Sur- Hays. Reiss ' Jane i John i i ! ' i i i ' ' I i I i ! ! f I ' . vival , M r' in the real world." . Sports Editors Summer Bob Warburton. Vacation Dave Deacon, Evan took the looked i Brador and ; i i : i r'i i i i i I ; at me blandly. "Do we? I don't I - 4-1.- - -- 1.-. -- i 1- -I- i Reservations think we necessarily have Lisa Neuville. Layout Editor to." - i i- i- 1 My voice grew "Yea, i- Now - r-- sarcastic. t -i i i r. - t-- - -- .i-i- . - -r-l--- ( I 1 i 4 f-t--i-t 4"' 1- - --' t right. C'mon Evan, we both know Stephen Szabo Business Manager the difference between what Morris Thorpe. . . . Circulation Manager should be and what is. We're going J. ... -- . i T r.,..j 4-- First U4- to part of what is pretty soon. And

I'll 4- I -; . .. j -i -i-i-- then we'll have to reinterpret it in Dan Shefelman, Jeff Toole Editorial Cartoons ' order to live with our con- Travel Stephen Hays Photography Coordinator sciences." Mallory Cremin, Jim Whittum . . Photography Assistants "You're wrong. All it takes is in- Geoff Smith Advertising volvement. If you sit around and

J-1. .i-- Ul-- -- i Service l bitch about how bad things are I i i i I i 4--4 i i i ' you're just as guilty as the j Philip Church. Advisor Faculty perpetrators. But if you at least at- tempt change you're guilty ot nothing." THE KENYON COLLEGIAN Is published every Wednesday afternoon while "Yea, but that's easier said than the college is in session except during examination and vacation periods by the done." I though of the apathy I had students of Kenyon College. Advertising is handled by the KSAB, a non-prof- it encountered while working at a 14 South Main Street student-ru- n organization. Yearly subscriptions are $18.00 and checks should be consumer action organization the made payable to the Kenyon Collegian. Our mailing address is Kenyon summer before. "The majority of Collegian, Kenyon College, Student Affairs Center, Gambier, OH 43022. people today cannot involve them- No Waiting selves like they did in the Sixties - Five Agents ndependence of College Paper: r Two-Count- ry World ?rs be 'e. We To View Closed-Minde- d while What Extent Is It Free? By Martha Lorenz by Michael Cannizzaro, Perhaps p a review of the it upon themselves to make that Political Forum Editor rhe recent unfortunate (and let disagreement between Council and determination, then perhaps every Last week, the first issue of the Gambier Journal was published. hope reparable) Collegian regarding the article the Collegian prints ought In it appeared many insightful and informative articles written by Uegiao understanding between Studentpj Council position papers to be presented to Council (read: both students and faculty. However, one sore spot in the paper was 1 jdent Council and the Collegian would be helpful here in the students) for the articlecommentary, "The Cuban Model in Central America," consideration by for s its origins in tne determining who has the right to before publication. Obviously, Robert Bradfield. In that article, Bradfield wrote about the the lundamental this upheaval in 82-198- do what. One of Central America with a perspective of all international 3 ostion that faces any newspaper the main points of example is getting a bit extreme, affairs having a U.S.-SovietCub- an ose 'ported almost entirely by contention was whether the but the fact remains that the conflict at the center, a of Council problem of the Reagan Administration which often hurts public was a lege funds: To what degree (through Finance logical extension of that argument Committee) did, perception of some Administration decisions. Articles and analyses would :ht that organization have and should, have is that the editor will no longer to based as heavily on this type of perspective as this one is usually it our ependence from the source of the right decide what should be have control over what is printed. funds? done with two pages of the paper. That's kind of like produce an end result filled with biases and closed-minde- d s. The "insisting" that conclusions. your I'he basic concept of Reveille print a double-pag- e a Considering the current in with .vspaper as a relevant, Now, two pages out of 26 issues spread of Council, that WKCO troubles Central America, the rganic vital play attitude that the only important considerations ssenger of news is important may not sound like much, but put Morris' favorite songs for two are the losses and signed it gains of the United States and the U.S.S.R., one could easily view 0 re. At a college, this goal is in this perspective: to the editors, hours, that KFS project Ethel the current arms build-up- s in the style of Cuban military in Nicaragua quently who spend the greater part of the Barrymore films for 24 hours 'ks, as somewhat impinged as a Soviet threat. However, if one m by the semester buried under in straight, etc. drops the freedom versus for fact that while it tries codv the communism veil, one office, it is a big deal. But back to can easily see that Nicaragua is run by an er to maintain its independence, the unstable and paranoid junta whose of U.S. is the original question: who fears invasion are tt fall, per dependent upon college undoubtedly the result of friendly but careful Soviet suggestions. nies. What, then, is determines the content of the butors the Perhaps the role of a newspaper Their fears are exploited to a point where a massive defense build- gation of any college to newspaper? 'e will paper at a liberal arts college is best up goes into effect, until the junta gets to a position it may like: e institution at which it closed-minde- K.C. summed up this way: as a regional power, just like Cuba. That point is near, and a d 1 rates? In the case at hand, Council are responsible and hopefully attitude in Washington, that the government is Russian-backe- d Treasurer Paul McCartney was Jstody' concerned member of and therefore unsalvageable, will bring that country to that under the mistaken impression the there 7he first priority should always community, the editor will condition, perhaps like Cuba. The Nicaraguan people will not be that anti-U.- S. should to be fair. A college paper has Finance Committee had probably try to promote better until an efficient government programs a number to be funded the Collegian with .; )u are obligation be responsible, the community awareness of and so. The Somoza regime was pro-U.S- the Sandinista regime is I t; love sonable, and objective, to the unwritten understanding that it involvement in issues. To pro-Sovie- neither of these governments are popular, by would publish pique might 4ree to which any of those things position papers, and your interest, to keep you Bradfield's own admission. More talks of the type initiated by thus believed that it was help e possible. Who is to say is a obligated informed, to search for all Nicaragua's complaint to the U.N. are needed. The to the facts )lems. vspaper is indeed meeting these do so. McCartney later realized - that is the duty of this paper. The Administration must stop playing the exact version of America (and apologized for) his eiving teria? At this school, that is honest editor and staff are charged with that Russia portrays in its propaganda, and entrust a error, but an intriguing point had straightforward image of to to the might ? charge of the Media Board. As the responsibility of taking into America refute "advice" been is . So, if .ted in the handbook, "the raised. Finance Committee consideration all aspects of contrary about U.S. intentions. Unfortunately, view points such as spring nciple concern of the Media the standing committee of Council producing the paper (monetary Mr. Bradfield's exist within the White House, and this is how the ection ard shall be the standards of which allocates the Student and otherwise) before making Russian version of the "imperialist" U.S. pervade intelligent. i have rformance" of all media Activities Fee. Finance Committee decisions. Americans' views towards U.S. government's actions and two-count- Co-- is thus in a sense ry world view produces occurrences such le r :anizations. The Board must the intentions. This of C.I. A. such as destabilizing the Sandinista of us :ke a concerted effort to choose representative the studentry at as increased activities (known A must ago, possibly going on right now. reatlv alified editors, and must the bargaining tables also college newspaper strive regime, as proposed months and to is government we seldom interacted of as budget hearings). Does it then inform and educate its readers This a with whom have mitor the operations the g to in way. means accusing them of gun-runnin- or planning under its auspices. have a right make any a constructive That publicly without jups stipulations about what the paper that the desire to report the news invasions. Is true communication between relatively independent should publish? (Let it be noted must be tempered by the countries now a politically impossible concept? With the "two-countr- y Once appointed, the editor has that the F.C. does not have plans to understanding that the paper is an world" point of view widespread in the U.S. and its e unflagging duty: to make no do this, and was quite fair with the influential part of the college. government, it probably is. eision without full consideration Collegian at the spring budget That's what is known as editorial The statement that "As the U.S. sees it, Castro has built his its consequences and propriety, hearings.) restraint. While the paper should dynasty and is moving on. He is using Nicaragua as his base for ould the editor fall short of this never become merely a Central America," is based on this view, and is exemplary of the :ndard, the Board has the right mouthpiece for those whose fact-twistin- g made legitimate by this context. Disregard the "two It is the editor's right and world" views context, and it becomes obvious that there is not one i the obligation to step in on responsibility to monies control it, it must also decide what goes a singular, fact to back that up, except that it's the Administration's view. Yet half of the College. in the paper and what not. always move toward does The of the both the writer and the government have the same perspective, and .orld? editor, chosen by Media admirable goal: betterment Board, well-consider- through and ed the entire article attempts to back it. If Castro really is "moying vay of will ideally be a person of community fair sound coverage of the news. on," why did it take him 20 years to decide to conquer Central iuallv ;ood judement (maybe even fine moral Ye't Alternative America? The Nicaraguan revolution was undeniably popular, as . character!); if this isn't the case, spurred by the suffering of the people. Mr. le in was Castro's, basically it is the Board's duty to act as it only up the absurdity that popular deser-- , Informative, well researched Bradfield's statement backs sees fit. revolts are to be encountered objectively, if not embraced. The st ex- - ays, clean layout, and the pect of publishing a biweekly intentions of the rebels should be examined, instead of rejected country. irum ... on issues cultural and One could argue that the Finance because of their Cuban rifles in that alized in El Salvador differ vastly from those its itical . . ." (This last in the Committee (read: Student U.S. actions . And Instead of supporting a rds of editor Doug Heuck) Good Council) has a right to "insist" involvement in Nicaragua necessitated. lot be Political U.S. has demanded a measure of moderation and k to you, Gambier Journal, the Collegian print certain dictatorship, the ! his that which helped produce elections and j'reoff to a good start! they in the best freedom in El Salvador ay his items because are bloody finish in the civil war. Unfortunately, U.S. Anna Grimes, and the interests of the community. But if Forum possibly a less intentions may have nothing to do with this approach, a possibility con-od-on- -1 Rest of the Collegian staff Finance Committee members take strengthened in light of the Administration's uneven foreign policy approach which includes the "two-countr- y world" attitude, the preventing sincerity from entering into international relations. The real problems of the world will continue to be ignored as "East-We- st in Issue vision" continues to spread throughout the "developed" ;ether Take Us On the Humor world. umor. I annual enyon H.yl All you not-roody-for-prlm-- tlm. writ. Th. Collogjan Submission! mm t is a humor L.uo Is yourxhonc. to .trut your .tuff. ) that .ollclto. from U yoo wild and eraxy, funny you know the ryboy ) EiWars. phony now. .tor- (did Down i- account, of all h.r Mrs. Reagan Cracks co-o- d. In , I.su.f). and tW Pr ilence K.r.yon Jun. 1 1 a bono and submit going w7n,r hoar about ar. lmp.ratlvo. So, got funn, Doodllna May tth. "Why On Drug Abuse in U.S.

:enter By Jeff Ehrbar 5 1 got drugs Recently Nancy Reagan an- fingers) Is there any food around "kicks". Patti, did you need ; sky. nounced that she planned to spend here? I'm starving, (looks around) when you wrote that rock song with ;r the more of her time crusading against TFL: As a good mother I like to the Vultures? ,trate what she believed a major national make little surprises for my Patti: The Eagles, for the last have full-scal- problem - - drug abuse. A e children, (to Ronny) Here, Ronny, time! The Eagles! blitz is planned for I've made you. (brings TFL: They sounded like vultures media look what way they talked next month, so be ready out a of brownies) to me. And the sometime plate (to herself) for something like this: Ronald, Jr.: (laughing un- about your father! were such good-lookin- g boys. rX)MSTIC&WORLD-WIDStRVIC- E REAGAN ON DRUG. controllably) No thank vou. I They Y NANCY and gotten ABUSE already had some brownies today. Only if they had shaved Dues TAKE ONE Too many. a haircut... No Membership Fees or whole problem -- Hello, this is Nancy Reagan. In TLF: Ronny has to watch what he Patti: That's your - the way you in - -- in shape for you only see things the troubled times we live eats. He has to keep see times inherited, and not caused by want to see them! You never his dancing. they You present Administration, of Ronald, Speaking of losing things the way that are! 1 Arrangements for the Jr.: in your little box Complete - - our children tend to I think I'm going to have to sit there, course weight, Don't call the AIRLINE develope crutches that help them speak to your doctor, (whispers in- TFL: (calmly) smiles) Late White House a little box. I took me CRUISES confront reality. The most to TFL's ear and to the months to redecorate it. & RESORTS threatening problem night practicing. HOTELS family today is drug (quietly, to Ronald, Jr.) Patti: Ohhhh! You'll never learn, INSURANCE American TFL: (Patti TRAVEL We'll talk about it later, (louder) Will you? WILL YOU? abuse. is escort- ) TRAVELERS CHECKS As a mother and a housewife I The press has made a lot out of my breaks down sobbing and Ad- set.) U.S. & FOREIGN know what a threat drugs can be. relationship with Patti. ed off the During their, oh, "rebellion years" mittedly, we do have our ups and TFL: Thank you, Patti. (pause) found in any We all face trying times, and we all : both Ronald Jr. and Patti have downs, but that can be marijuana, but both have American family. Right, Patti? must sacrifice ( I myself can't even .Ul- 1 sampled - - - stages. Now enters, drinking a glass of buy my own dresses I have to grown out of these (Patti free.) happy and as close a She puts her fingers in the model them to get them we're as water. to make T397-209l- J family as ever. Right Ronny? water, puts them up her nose, and What we must do in order is to con- (Ronald, Jr. enters. His eyes are sniffles.) Oh, Patti, you have a it through these times vince cur young that drugs are not SQUARE bloodshot and his pupils are cold. Your eyes are running. 1 PUBLIC dialated.) Patti: (assertively) No, I don't. I the answer. Ronald, But what is the MT. VERNON, 0. Ronald, Jr.: Huh? don't have a cold. I'm fine, alright? Jr.: The First Lady: Tell the people TFL: Patti's done a lot of growing question? how close we are. up over the last couple of years. (offstage): Cut! Ronald, Jr.: Like this (crosses his She doesn't need drugs to get her TFL: I need a drink. Pag Four Th Knyon Collegian Thursday, May l i;, j Nostalgic Dance Weekends: Import a Lot of Women and Let the Good Times Roll The contest was to "culmir.a'e By Hunter Estes belonged to attenders of the gloriously in a grand crowning j Hop of 1916, the Lord's Lady at intermi;;;ljr 'i Sophomore the Junior ' Believe it or not, Kenyon College Prom of 1906, the Senior Reception time" of the dance Friday night used to be known as a place of of 1911. The May Dance of 1949 seerr sophistication and romance. Girls In 1926, a pamphlet called Hop to have been quite a liquid affajr' from Ohio State, Denison, Ohio Hints was published, as the Collegian reported on yr Weslyan and Lake Erie, among commemorating the 100th hop. beverages provided by ti others, would thrill to the sound of Fancy engraved invitations were fraternity. Sea Breezes, rna a Kenyon man's voice on the sent out for the 1936 Annual May from "one jigger of grapefri-juic- e phone. Different Big Name Bands Dance. Eventually, these dances and three bottles of gin" would play every night of the narrowed down to two a year at most of the parties, and the weekend. Canopies would dot the one in November and one in May. Betas served theirs in an old jrC campus on beautiful Saturday and Mrs. Thomas Greenslade Sr. "When the punch ran out, aftj

Sunday afternoons, shielding light tells of a May Dance she attended smart people hit the sack. Other-wen-t luncheons from the warmth of the in 1930 as an 18-ye- ar old student at over to do things to p sun. Ohio State. Being invited to one of Newman and Ed Van Buren, Yes, this once was Kenyon these dances was considered quite made the mistake of fainting ir College in Gambier Ohio. And what the thing Kenyon, with it's same bed." was responsible for this aura of student population of 250, was This weekend was re-interp- ret glamour and magic? Dance known as the Country Club. An in someone's horr.- -

to be extremely formal Mrs. newspaper v.e-- : Weekends. There used affair, 1948 - A happy couple enjoys the Fall Dance Weekend. as, "fraternities several of them a year. Greenslade borrowed things from with each other for pre-dar.c- e Dance cards (little suede or gilt -- every girl on her hall in order to entertainment honors, shower.-- ; no officially -, covered books where a young look her best for every occasion. and Saturday night, and Mrs. there was alcohol their guests with roses, a.- gentleman wrote the name of the She arrived Friday afternoon Greenslade said they never went to served, though everyone somehow providing lavish shrimp cocktails young lady next to the number of and stayed until Sunday, housed at sleep, but watched the sun rise seemed to have it. in division parlors freshly cLst the dance they were to share) a faculty member's home. There from the porch behind Peirce. As Mrs. Greenslade brought friends and polished." tail-en- d - proclaim themselves as having was a Big Name Band both Friday this was the of Prohibition, down with her as blind dates for The total cost of the May Da- e Greenslade) . her date's (Mr. of 1961 was $3,216.85. There v..,-- fraternity brothers, but there were firey letters to the Collegian ei :; engagements also many marriage about disorganization and waste of This Week's Projections announced. When the girls left at Social Committee funds. Kegs the end of the weekend, they took refreshment tents were stolen ar.i with them memories of men the location of the Surf;,

of r- - nced. dressed in full dress suits, afternoon combo was r-annou- to exhilarate and here the climax recently returned from a mental in Bond dancing cheek to cheek an A Man For All Seasons is on a suitably grand scale as hospital. He had been treated totally dark Hall to following a suicide attempt almost Peirce leads a spectacular guerrilla that steamy jazz ... a world that A Man For All Seasons produced assault on Blofeld's volcano resulted from guilt he felt for the seemed untouched by the Great by Fred Zinneman. Directed by stronghold. death of his brother. The two had taking place all over been boating on Lake Michigan Depression L Zinneman. Starring Paul Scofield, You Only Live Twice is typical of the country. III Robert Shaw, Orson Welles. 1966, its Bond predecessors in being when an accident occurred, an 120 min, Wednesday, Rosse, 10 dynamic escapist fare, and is an accident for which the young man, p.m. interesting counterpoint to the Conrad, blames himself. seriousness of Ordinary People. Donald Sutherland does a remarkable job as the father who In 1938, President Chalmers of T'--V. This presentation Sir Thomas J.T. instigated what was referred to as " T v ". is concerned for his son's well-bein- g More's life was first released in the "greatest mass blind date 1966 and received appreciable but is unable to make All That Jazz anything more than tentative, experiment in the history of reviews the world over. A Gambier's 114 year old seemingly banal film, A Man For ineffectual efforts to re-establi- sh All That Jazz. Directed and their relationship. Ultimately, institution." Forty women from All Seasons actually gives the by 13 choreographed Bob Fosse. however, it is left to the initially Rockland, Illinois traveled hours viewer a taste of real philosophy in in a When Starring Roy Scheider, Jessica passive father to be the active chartered bus. they film, in that the central conflict is Lange, Anne Reinking, Leland arrived, they were paired with or moral in force in reshaping the family, overtly philosophical Palmer, Cliff Gorman. 1979, 123 Kenyon men by height, weight and intent. because the mother views the child age. min. with disdain and barely The Kenyon mystique must Here we have a man's life far-reachin- g. submerged aversion. She blames certainly have been presented in order to illustrate the All That Jazz is a sprawling moral dilemma which eventually Conrad for the other son's death, explosion of talent, and yet one has making it impossible for her to befalls him. The conflict here is to sift through expanses of chaff in between conscience demonstrate anything for him In the 40's, the tone of the specifically order to get at the moments when weekends seems to have changed and duty: More will not condone other than coldness. it all comes together to form a Of all ihe major characters, the somewhat, though the general the faithless marriage of King truly good piece of filmmaking. Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn. only one not compelled to repress format remained the same. Bob Fosse incorporates editing the availability of Because of this the King has More emotional expression is the Perhaps and camera movements into the psychiatrist, Dr. Berger (Hirsch), alcoholic beverages had something executed. very choreography of his dances. to whom Conrad reluctantly to do with it. The May Dance of Thus, the point of this is not Fosse has his moments of genius, within the reports. In a cluttered, homey 1946 was the first dance since the within the plot itself, nor but he fails to tie the film together spent Eager lo start the it is what is office the physician yells, prods, war. The boys lavishly on characters, rather into one, well-kn- it whole. Like listens. He is the entreprenuer of white tails and champagne punch stude".' behind these that must be Apocolypse Now, this movie Mrs. Perry Lentz, a and gradually he breaks all the things they had to do :: emphasized. The viewer is left innundates the audience with a catharsis, Lake Erie College outside through the boy's defenses to without during the war years. said with a thought, an idea, and it is up series of dazzling visual images, Cleveland during the 60's, expose the feelings buried beneath. f: " to him or her to see the meaning of but it does not envoke the intense girls used to come back Unfortunately, neither of the with ..: A Man For All Seasons. CD. one expects from films Kenyon Dance Weekends catharsis parents are similarly benefitted. thr: by either Coppola or Fosse. In 1948, the Collegian sponsored stories about pianos being a Dance Weekend Queen contest. out of windows. The men of Ker; The film loosely chronicles the ' You Only Live Twice of But this is not a study of Each fraternity selected the photo were still surrounded by t last days Joe Gideon, played by v. Roy Scheider with extraordinary psychotherapy in WASP America. of the lovliest of their dates, and reputation, though it seemed tc You Only Live Twice. Directed by it is It is a brief glimpse of the trials these pictures were displayed in somewhat different than Lewis Gilbert. Sean exuberance. Joe a Starring choreographer, a genius, a facing ordinary human beings Peirce Hall with a bottle beneath thirty years ago. Connery, Donald Pleasence, of manipulator, a man living within the material surroundings each one. Votes were cast by It has been said that some Bernard Lee. 1967, 117 min. in and constantly on the edges of extreme of suburban U.S.A. In one of its dropping coins the bottles, men were sorry when Kenyon by co-e-d er.d :: exhaustion, and a man living very stand-ou- t scenes, the parents the winner was chosen the because it meant the c-Danc- Sean Connery is back in top form of in bottle. The romance e close to death. Death threads in debate the future of their tense number coins her the excitement and as James Bond in You Only Live money was then taken to purchase Week-end- s. Perhaps th;; and out of the visual scenes in All marriage on the perfect symbol of Twice. It is the fifth film based on That Jazz middle class escapism, the golf the crown, flowers and gifts the were thinking of the strain of be -- Ian Fleming's illustrious British lucky young lady was to be exciting seven All That Jazz succumbs, course. In another, the young man and romantic agent, in which Bond journeys to presented with upon crowning. a ultimately, because it does not attempts to reacquaint himself her week. Japan. with an old girlfriend. And during from the U.S. and the convince the audience that Joe is a Spacecraft treatment in Berger's office, the Soviet Union have literally been human being worth caring for. In I Want a Kenyon Man fact, one is compelled to cry lights gradually dim as Conrad There are lots of men at Wesleyan, at Case and O.S.U. hijacked from orbit; the opposing becomes more and more overtly countries blame one another and "enough" when confronted with While some are found at Oberlin close-up- s rt introspective. threaten to begin World War III if of open-hea- surgery on And at Reserve a few any more capsules are abducted. screen. Yet, when Bob Fosse does They are fat or thin or young or old succeed in combining all Without exception, the It's up to Double-O-Seve- n to avert the Or white or black or tan that catastrophe by finding the elements of film and dance at his performances are superb. Among But not a one can be compared to a really Kenyon man. persons responsible. His search disposal, we witness glimpses of the most gripping is that given by places him in the clutches of his near-perfe- ct filmmaking, Hutton. His portrayal captures the I want a Kenyon man arch-nemesi- moments of sheer pleasure. anger, rage, and love if s, Ernst Stavros These fear, faced Just beat him you can Blofeld, head of the international instances are so stirring that they by any adolescent in a manner I have one but he's my brother crime organization SPECTRE. overcome the film's deficiencies which few could hope to achieve on So I'd like to have another Blofeld's plan is to start a war in and make All That Jazz well worth screen. But top honors must go to I want a Kenyon man. order to allow SPECTRE to take seeing. V.C. Mary Tyler Moore who, for two over and fill the void left by the two hours, embodies a character so On Saturdays to McBride Field I go with all the rest decimated superpowers. unlike the All-Americ- an A football game I thinks is swell Ordinary People cheerleader she has become I always cheer my best Beautiful women are m associated with since her days on It makes no difference if I don't know who is winning when abundance, the scenery is often Ordinary People. Directed by the Dick Van Dyke Show that it is I know the guys out on that field gorgeous, and the plot moves like a Robert Redford. Starring Donald astounding. One learns to hate the Are really Kenyon men. cyclone. Bond naturally is loaded Sutherland, Mary Tyler Moore, woman she portrays with the same down with .gadgets, the most Timothy Hutton, Judd Hirsch. kind of disgust that she displays In 1969 they thought they ought to go co-e-d impressive of which' is a miniature 1980, 123 min. toward her son. In short, Moore is 'Twas the smartest thing they'd ever done helicopter armed with everything tremendously effective. Or so the students said from heat-seekin- g missiles to a Robert Redford marks his The combination of these actors' And now the time is in the past flame-throwe- r. Also intriguing are directoral debut with Ordinary and actresses' skills, along with When eyes can only span the brief glimpses of Japanese life People, a powerful exploration of the somber pace set forth by Those sexy minds and bodies of those really Kenyon men. the movie affords, including sumo the problems faced by an upper Redford, makes Ordinary People a wrestling, the martial arts, Ama middle class family whose unique product. The inescapable I want a Kenyon man fishing villages, and a marriage members find it difficult to express impression is that these are typical Just beat him if you can ceremony between Bond and a emotions and feelings frankly. The people, trying to know one another I have one but he's my brother Japanese agent named Kissy catalyst for their dilemma is a and failing in a totally realistic So I'd like to have another Suzuki. But the film is not a young boy (Hutton, in an example of the fallibility that is I want a Kenyon man. cultural masterpiece; it's designed outstanding performance) who has inherent in humankind. J.T. ', 198 Thursday. May 6, 1982 Th Kcnyon ColUglan Pag Flv

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.7ZL Summer Send-Off- : Fun in the Sun

Music View April Ends With Three Musical Events night innovative version of Lennon On FriHav Anril 30. at 7:00 By Ellen Watson an mounted the knows, and McCartney's "Norwegian p.m., the Kokosingers As every music student Rosse Hall stage dressed in formal of summer means a Wood". Bob Blythe and Brian the approach their black tuxedoes. They began with of year-en- d recitals Wilbert played pieces from frantic schedul ana one of several barbershop quar- performances. Last week at recital the previous weekend, and r - song, "We'll tets, "Daddy Get Your Baby out of Kenyon were mree.i umcicmj:rr Bob did a Tom Lehrer When We Go." Jail." musical events, not including All Go Together dozen Ingrid Goth, veteran of the Gong The group sang over a Friday's Opera Workshop (see every members had Saturday's Show, the Freshman Dinner, and songs, so review this page), or of Send-Of- f, did the some kind solo. Send-Of- f acts. now the Summer Summer songs, they Wednesday night, April 28, three standards of her repertoire. Besides traditional On performed, songs the 60's and Posnak debuted a work he The Owl Creek Singers did popular from Paul and blue. arranged by group members. will perform this summer. dressed in red, white 70's, was a Sandy Dumas and Karen Steven- Near the end of the concert, the Following this performance shoppes two departing under-attende- of Tomahawk and Kokes honored the woefully d "Musical son, the closed the show with songs seniors, Bob Bradfield and Doug Extravaganza" hosted by fame, with some of by John Coltrane, Joni Mitchel, Jacoby, presenting them Music Club, displaying (Yes, musical talent. On and the Oak Ridge Boys silver mugs tilled with cham- Kenyon's finest take it the Kokosingers con- "Elivra", but they didn't pagne. Friday night The groupd did one encore ac- vtP's KFT produclion. Joanne Woodward and the casl of Candida in a spring con- seriously). From lasl cluded their season by the traditional show lasted a full two hours, companied cert. The dog, who was dressed in a perhaps another reason for poor sleeping Kenyon . uniform of a blue Paul Posnak, reknowned The Music Club may Kokosinger's Kenyon Festival Theater Returns previewed the Chopin attendance. blazer and striped tie. " pianist, 1 ! put on similar shows in the future. Allison Mackie, TaittTi; Ruppert,Dnnnar and Piano Concerto No. 2 on We- .i ...U;in r ( 1 1 H on tc John inarian wimc ouyw dnesday evening. Michael This summer the Kenyon ends of produc- accompanied him on a marks its third working on other Derringer of Excerpts Festival Theater tion have been: Maria Amarocho, second piano, playing the Evening Opera season of producing professional (81), Nancy of orchestra part. College Andrew Cohen equivalent an theater on the Kenyon (81), Carolyn Kapner Derringer plaved base chords well, hopes for its Collings countermelody campus. The theater Kurt Kingsly, Ed Spodick and but when he had a Concludes Music Season best season yet as they produced two pianist did not always mat- Joanne Michael Zorek. the choruses their powerful voices bur- HY FEVER, starring has plans to expand ch. By Ellen Watson j ROMEO and The theater solo per- st out from the stage. Woodward and to a winter home in Columbus, The quality of Posnak's to the evening well as a Comedy that of his Friday night, The moving finale facilities above on m, JULIET as while using the Kenyon formance soared At 8:00 p.m. written by Joel Man-delbau- and in residence mime put- He played the Andrews' Opera was Dybbuk, Cabaret, during the summer Besides accompaniat. April 30, Roger who was present for the music and jazz smoothness who gave us ; The troupe, chamber ting on first rate production, KM Chopin with incredible Workshop, For this piece, Nor- performances by a Campus to the notes seemed of in February, performance. concerts, and opens up the Kenyon and expression; Pirates Penzance Wick took over the piano ac- of young interns. each his fingers. His A Program of Opera Ex- man second company literally thousands of people to roll under presented companiment and Andrews took might well ask what is all of small tourist crescendoes ended in cerpts. The group performed a fir- One summer, creating a emotional the lead role as Rabbi Asrael. The this doing in the middle of Ohio? merchants. sharp, strong fortes. st act, a recitative duet, a second .. trade for local opera is based on a famous Yiddish The answer would have to be pret-.- prepares for its act, and a finale, but from four dif- - As the theater is hard to make a piano drama. Leah (Amorocho) is about 1 cm.o its rrpation audien- season It works. The first was from a IV KWU. JUivt. third and most ambitious Posnak's smoothness ferent married, but she is possessed treated to the per- already get- "drip" but Boheme, where the tortured to be ces have been Kenyon students are this effect, especially in La by the spirit, or "Dybbuk", of her of Jane Curtin Joanne Several have achieved playwrite Rodolfo (Paul Healty), (Bothfeld). formances ting involved. the second movement. His flying former love, Channon Woodward, Jonathon Winters for internships in the and the downtrodden maiden Mimi part, and auditioned fingers made trills and quick fall in Amorocho played her Treat Williams, Josh Mostel program, while others have Any (Maria Amorocho) meet and and spiritual ' anguish , passages flutter like birds. writhing in But KFT doe not onhj aXapplild already have The two sang duets with high spot. Both- Carol Kane. local for, or artist could not have given love pain, lighted by a red import stars, they use the technical jobs. K 1 lesser tremolo voices, representing their lines from only nositions in such a masterful interpretation. feld sang along with her talent as well, drawing on not Sal to be a great resource fluttering hearts. Roger Andrews effect like proved The two pianist also played on the backstage, for an from Mount Vernon but two seasons Two accompanied the singers the people for students in its first Mozart' Sonata in D Major for Of something from The Exorcist. Kenyon itself .Perf- more of one both piano, as he did for Pirates. the between the people from and can only become This piece highlighted en- The battle of spirits Kenyon have been: Pianos. four supporting roles, the most was ormers from as it grows. performers equally; they echoed dod- Amorocho and Andrews (81) Alison Janney, joyable was Bob Blythe's both are such Bob Davis each other's themes. Blythe also powerful, because Musical Ex- dering landlord Benoit. singers and such The Music Club's comic relief later, in the majestic travaganza followed Paul provided dramatic actors. Bothfeld was to ot chorus of Die Fledermaus. romantic lead. Posnak's concert, due lack by Johann again moving in the or perhaps poor Die Fledermaus Elizabeth Pattey provided a coun- publicity, Strauss was the lightest scene of and scheduling, the show raised vir- was a terpart of helpless suffering Stein-,.,qW- evening. Rosse's stage Waddy's to "Save Our " the maternal sympathy, especially f n tually no funds procession of formal gowns and ' ASUAL in Lounge. The when she sang her alto solo, Be Peirce for an elegant ball put on meager turnout was a pity, since tuxedos calm, my darling," while cradling by Prince Orlofsky, played delight- The scene the show was a collection of talen- Richard Amorocho in her arms. of fully by Mary Sparlin. passion; Andrews has the best ORliER ted performers. Maria Amorocho, un- is heavy with A opened the show, Bothfeld and ana several other performers were The Chasers doubtedly the stars of the evening, Levis and D.C. jeans Baroque Ensemble in tears during the final chorus South Main Street, followed by a were again cast as leads in this fashions, 120 in C minor from the Mandelbaum shook Andrew's hand and other men's Mount Vernon playing Trio lighthearted comedy of manners. stage for a Musical Offering by J.S. Bach. Ed and joined the cast on both casual and our Cellar This scene included most of this excellent per- sure toT7tobvstop oy Witkin and Rolf Pendall alternated of the Opera bow after wear Be ... guitar, playing the members formance of his work. formal for the t.nesx - on banjo and Workshop, so in full unison Shop and folk tunes, notably WesJernwegL bluegrass Magic Mountain 1981-8- 2

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1 -- v Lacrosse Sparks Women's Sports

By Dave Deacon Much of the enthusiasm on the tioned What's the auta which circulates the fastest rising sport on lacrosse team is due to the amount around the "big campus? Unless you've red:" "There's been of freshmen players on the squad. that image of Denison being abroad, or been trapped for too This has provided the team with someone you've never been able to long in some study carrel, the an- v--., - . more depth than they're had, and beat. We had to . swer is shatter that obvious: women's lacrosse. taken some of the pressure off the image." Not "V In surprisingly, all three their last two regular seasons , ' veteran players. "This year the seniors agreed that the Ladies have only two their highest lost scoring is spread around," Hood sports moment cam ein games and twice qualifed for the defeating noted. Denison. Hood, who was abroad midwest regional tournament. Part of the reason for the team's last year, years ago, remembers being ex- However, four when success, and for the success of cited when Kenyon seniors Anne Himmelright, Corky prevailed this 1 women's sports in . f general, can be year, because "after we won Anne Hood, and Daisy Gallagher attributed to the open attitude of (Himmelright) arrived, "Women's ' in and I saw a poster Lacrosse, the players toward beginners and at Denison building up the words of Hood, "wasn't much." the next newcomers. Hood commented, "It game against the Ladies as a 'big r"' Generally speaking, interest in was fun to guide sports people along. game'." women's has blossomed in Everyone learned how to play and the last couple of years. With little While both Corky Hood and progressed incredibly. You can't Daisy Gallagher played high help from the college, Kenyon to their afford be snobby." school alcrosse in the East, the women have taken matters into In only a few years Kenyon's center of good lacrosse, Ohioan An- their own hands and formed the women's lacrosse team has gone second-plac- ne Himmelright never cradled a Scoring a e finish at the regional tournament soccer and rugby clubs which have last from mediocre to a second ranking ball until she came to Kenyon. In weekend, the Women's Lacrosse team earned themselves a birth in not only attracted high numbers of in the midwest. Obviously, good the nationals competition. Sophomore participants, but have spurred fact, it was Hood who pushed a Ashley Van Etten paced the players have a lot to do with win- stick into her hands and coerced Ladies with three goals in their 8-- 2 student and administrative ex- opening round victory over ning, but Kenyon's recruiting her into learning the sport. "I Oberlin, and senior Anne Himmelright citement. Both Immelright and policy is pumped in three the anything but liberal. didn't even know the rules," Him- following day in a 10-- 7 Arch-riva- Hood remembered when triumph of Ohio Wesleyan. l women's "Recruiting can only go so far melright stated. Denison won the tournament with a 12-- 6 victory over Kenyon, but sports created about as much in- here," Himmelright stated, "A Him-melrigh- failed to keep the Ladies out of the eight team national tournament terest as the debating team, or coach can take a person out to lun- This says much for t's being held next week in West Chester, Pennsylvania. Sunday night economics review ch and that's it." However, natural athletic sessions. "When I got here something must be causing quality abilities, considering she is one of women's sports were pretty much lacrosse players to come to the best on the team. Last month taken as a joke," Himmelright Kenyon. Himmelright feels that Himmelright received the Best stated. Hood commented, "the luck has a lot to do Women's Athlete at Kenyon award with it, but for college didn't seem to care my agreed that new sports her four years of excellence in the field freshman and sophomore years. facilities "are very impressive to hockey, basketball, and There was no concern; you could someone touring the campus." lacrosse. "She's a phenonmenal tell by our uniforms of polyester Hood raised the possibility that athlete, no-on- e could catch her," Hood confirmed. skirts and bloomers." publicity has caused the ad- Leading the sports charge is the missions department to talk up Much of the credit for the v women's lacrosse team. This year women's sports. "People want to somen's success shoudl be given to an unprecedented thirty-fiv- e play for a school with a winning coach Burke. A U.S. Olympic women tried out for the squad. team," Hood stated. lacrosse goalie, Burke virtually '"1 Some players suggested there Senior Daisy Gallagher is one built the women's sports program might be an image appeal vital reason Kenyon's women's at Kenyon herself from its in- associated with being on the team, lacrosse team has been so good. ception twelve ypars ago. "She's but Himmelright was quick to say, She solidifies an inexperienced, done a phenomenal job coaching," ... "It's only image to a point. You and at times, unsure defense, Hood commented. Himmelright have to be dedicated, and the girls which lost both Suzie Morrill, and agreed, "She knows lacrosse. She's brought field hockey and - a have stuck in to the end." This Ellen Pearlman last year. T' in lacrosse to where they are now, dedication revealed itself Gallagher measured the lacrosse " n and she started from organized and regular pre-seaso- team's improvement over the last scratch. practices, involving work couple of season's by the degree of Though Gallagher, Hood, and primarily on stickwork. In ad- competition- - they've given Himmelright are graduating they i dition, the Ladies went out of their Denison. "Four years ago it was a leave behind a rich pool of talent v way to arrange different exam big upset to beat Denison. We give which promises to increase as the times with their professors in or- them a good run for their money years go by. It's taken twelve

. der to compete in national com- now," Gallagher stated. Indeed, years, but with coach Burke's per- v".'-V.- petition, if they made it. The fact Denison is the team the Ladies sistent work, and the enthusiasm that Kenyon professors agreed to have learned to both respect and and dedication of Kenyon's female switch exam times reflects the hate, and represent the one road- athletes, Women's sports has changing attitudes towards block between them and regional gained the respect it deserves on women's sports on campus. supremacy. Himmelright men campus. A Very Special Senior Year For Swimmer Laura Chase

j was a swimming career is over It special sason for senior Chase enjoyed a lot of success in most exciting event that I have Chase earned four letters for Her j Laura Chase, a of two (she now, and Chase must now member the 1982, as she developed the perfect been involved in at Kenyon," she swimming and for track on team during her concentrate on her future after !t said. "It was really great." was the was a special season for senior attitude for an athlete. "I attribute graduation. She majored in of lot As an individual, Chase did freshman and sophomore years). Laura Chase, a member the it to lots of hard work, having a Biology next Fall, she will too extremely well in the competition. As a member of the Swimmin' and .Vomen's Swimming squad. First, of fun and not taking sports enroll at the Ohio State University its sixth seriously, and of course a good "The team got second, and I got Women, she always preferred the he helped her team take medley as her school Bio Medical Engineering. championship. Then and a great team." five third places, a second place, 100 individual ;'.raight OAC coach so quick, She plans to learn to design as the the Kenyon senior and a first. , favorite event. "It's it's she devoted 110 effort In March, really easy to get medical instruments, or possibly 26th to second a long list of records at Chase was dominating fun, and it's Ladies leapt from registered she said. enroll at veterinary school. the National the state swim meet. Chase left competition on all levels, as she set psyched for," o'.ace in entered. Championships. To top it all off, after winning seven state titles, records in every event she were falling neatly Chase was selected as one of and setting five state records. She A lot of things her. don't think I Revamped Kenyon's Senior Athletes of the topped the best Ohio times in the 50 into place for "I Soccer Status stroke, the 200 have a whole lot of natural talent," Because of this increasing interest, meter breast Leise Isbrandtsen individual medley, the 100 1.M., the she admits. "I think a lot of the By the club will undergo a big change of hard work Since 1978 soccer has become a 400 medley relay and the 800 success was a result at for the better, beginning next Fall. a lot of desire." popular sport for women the past, Women's Soccer has medley relay. and leadership of In At the Winter sports banquet, Kenyon. Under the been coached by students who Next came the Nationals. No one Ho, Laurie excited than Laura her efforts were rewarded with the captains Marianne have volunteered their time three was more and Anne Thomas, the Chase as The Ladies exceeded all Athlete of the Year award. She Reed, times a week to improve the skills i called the recognition, "a real Women's Soccer Club has in- of beginners as well as advanced i ri hopes and finished as the second membership to over 35 team in America. honor." creased its players. Using membership dues best Division III and is expected to at- "The Nationals were by far the Through four years at Kenyon, members and student council funding, the tract more as the years advance. team visited and competed against V schools both in the Fall and other for th fenniMt mork Spring. It was up to the captains to about growing up schedule all games, along with finding volun- Tuesday, April 27 was the lining the fields and the Kenyon teer officials. The 1982 Fall record biggest and best day -- 3-4-- 1. Women's soc-- baseball team has had all season. was Because is sport which is easily lear- Pete Donoghue, who normally cer a starts at third for the Lords, came ned, it provides a fun atmosphere 1-- for members. on to pitch 5 3 superb innings as 3-- - Kenyon has Kenyon beat Heidelberg 1 for This year, however, Ton'Ube glad t' recognized the Women's Soccer. you camel their first win in 1982. Club as one which is reapidly. to grant When Donoghue tired, Mike growing and it has decided a Voight came on in relief and did a some money to the club for trial funding will be fine job. Mixing the fast ball and period only. This of a curve well, Voight struck out nine placed towards the hiring DAILY 7:00 4 9:30 from outside the campus, as MATINEES 1:00. 3.30 batters, allowed no runs, and coach WED. well as for supplies, equipment, SAT h SUN MATINEE 3 30 walked off with a save. r travel, and officials for the Fall season. The Kenyon offensive attack was Women's Soccer will still remain not overpowering, but they a club, and will ask for additional scraped together enough runs to funding from student council to 7 ) win. Captain Chip Mesics drove in help pay for its Spring season. The ?? ty one run with a single, and later will advance to a non-varsi- - club scored on a wild pitch. Catcher level of playing next Fall, not only X Graham Heasley drove in an in- because of its new coach but also surance run later, with an infield because much of the paperwork ; DAILY7:15&9:)5 groundout. will be handled by the athletic j WED. MATINEES 1:00, 3:30 department. & MATINEE 3:30 Pictured here is freshman Ran- SAT SUN However, the club will definitely dy Adams, taking a cut. The Lords at- a not lose its pleasurable close the season with urge all doubleheader at home Saturday mosphere and the captains South Main St. at East Ohio Avenue and play. against Mount Union. women to come down Downtown Mount Vernon Randy Adams takc a Phone 393- - FLIC Pag Eight Th Knyon Collglan Thursday, May 4, l9:j Economics Survey Reveals Statistics About Kenyon Family Income

I . , , ... ! idea of a family income were asked By Alan Batchelder noi to guess, bui me results shown 40 cross-sectio- n s Kenyon students are not a in the accompanying table should of Americans aged 18-2- 2. be viewed with caution. n We know that because Kenyon board scores higher Kenyon Families student's are The families of students in than the national averages. economics do not appear to me to be significantly different from Ail-Americ- an In addition, Kenyon students are those of students in religion (for different because their families religion, 65.3, for economics 30 earn higher incomes than would a 62.8 over $60,000, through 26.5 cross-sectio- n of the families of religion, 27.4 economics over

18-2- 2. Americans aged I believe $100,000). But the families 0f that generalization is correct even Kenyon students do differ, as this

though I am basing it on the table also shows, from a cross-sectio- n inexact statistical sources of American families. described below. The "All-America- n" column of considering the table comes from" page two, 20 '' While income distribution in my "Principles" 129, "Consumer Income," series course, I decided to ask students in P-6- 0, U.S. Census Bureau, on 1979 all three of my courses to estimate family incomes, the latest year their families' 1981 taxable available. By allowing roughly-f- or incomes from all sources. The the 25 inflation, 1979-198- 1, of figures were turned in after a few the Carter programs, I derived the days to think about them, estimate of 1981 family incomes shown in the table. 10 anonymously, and only by those who chose to volunteer. Given these rough figures, the I then wondered if the incomes of summary averages show these families of economics students contrasts : were significantly different than Kenyon Families $75,000 the incomes of families of the other Ail-America- ns $23,500 Kenyon students. Professor Rogan Mean Incomes: kindly volunteered access to two ' Kenyon Families $80,000 large sections of .his religion All-Americ- an Families$26,000 20 40 60 80 100 Thousands of Dollars courses. In the end, I collected 1981

1 of of ' The incomes . ' families i 1 family income estimates from 49 religion students and from 62 Kenyon students run, roughly, 62 Students 49 Students economics students, about seven triple those of all Americans. 1981 Family Income In Economics In Religion All-Americ- an and one half percent of all Kenyon The contrast is also easily seen students. in the accompanying graph. The height of each point shows the $20,000 4.9 6.1 37.0 Under Some students called home to get percentage of families with 1331 $20,000-39,99- 9 17.8 16.4 43.0 exact figures. Most provided incomes within the income class $40,000-59,99- 9 14.5 12.2 12.5 estimates only. Those who had no centered on that point. $60,000-79,99- 9 29.9 24.5 5.5 $80,000-99,99- 9 14.5 14.3 1.5 Women Await Tourney $100,000 and over 27.4 26.5 0.5 By Susan B.Smith more good news with respect to the tournament; the Ladies Williamson Leaves The arrival of the women's state state tennis tournament is sure to bring qualified in two more flights continued from pog orm a smile to the face of head coach through at-lar- ge bids: Sarah a lifetime opportunity" for him. 1 Sandy Martin. Overton at first singles, and Linda She is currently in the process of Last weekend her squad brought McLaughlin and Jenny Lancaster at-lar- ge job-searchi- ng in the Boston area. home a third place trophy from the at first doubles. The bids The College will be looking for a Satellite tournament, qualifying were chosen for outstanding qualified female to replace seven team members in six of nine records during the season. Williamson, as it wants to main- possible flights for the state Of those Ladies playing at state, tain an even male-femal- e ratio in tournament, which begins four were seeded among the top the deans' office. Williamson poin- Thursday at Ohio Wesleyan. They four in their respective flight: ts out that Kenyon did not ad- include: Kathy Jameson at third Wilcott was seeded third. vertise for the position by sex. "If singles, Jenny Wolcott at fourth Lancaster second, McLaughhn an exceptionally qualified male t singles, Jenny Lancaster at fifth first, and Land and Saralegui candidate applied, the College . HI singles, Aninda McLoughlin at second. would consider him," she noted, sixth singles, Sarah Overton and With those seeds and some help "but the female applicants being Kathy Jameson at second doubles, from their non-seed- ed players the considered are as qualified as the and Luli Saralegui and Martha Ladies have a strong chance at men who applied." Land at third doublos. finishing among the final four, Williamson's immediate future Overall, the Ladies finished third according to Coach Martin: "I am at-lar- ge bids is at the moment uncertain. with 54 points behind Wooster and glad we picked up the However, she made it clear that Mallone with 63 and 61 points and have good seeds too. Our real having met Kenyon students and respectively. Coach Martin was goal is the top four this year ar.d in-dustriousn- having been enthused by their ess, extremely pleased with the with our depth we have a good she cannot settle for tournament's outcome and felt chance of attaining that goal. a place which is less of a challenge. that "if they had been able to play Denison will prove our strongest out the finals, "we would have opposition with the number one won." seed in every flight except first and Next Year Committee Members Elected Last Sunday brought Kenyon sixth singles." By Brian Kearney groups appealing the original I stood, without giving the Gallery II At the May 2 meeting of Student budget decisions, "Receptions the funds it requested. Council, committee members were may be necessary to attract people McCartney also submitted the to n chosen for various 1982-8- 3 com- the Gallery, but F.C. feels this is appeals and capital expenditures mittees. The results are as follows: not part of their total operating budget for approval. He pointed Smith & go. Faculty Committee on Academic budget under guideline I." F.C. out that a very important issue on MAHUWAWfc, HAIN 1 5, MUUbtAtS AND L A w N SUPPLIES Standards: Nancy Grant, Amy recommended that the Gallery this budget Com-

was 7 the Finance v. 397-574- M by 7 Jr berry Streets Mount Vernon. Ohio 43050 614i Durrell, and Karen Rockwell; raise its dues dollars per mittee's decision to have the Gam-bie- r Faculty Committee on Academic member in order to cover the costs Journal use the waxer in the Policy: Suzie Powell, Matt for the receptions. Collegian office, but not the other -- --. All-College-Eve- Ericksen, and Steve Szabo; nts After much deliberation, Council Collegian supplies. Committee: Peter voted to approve the budget as it Propp, Doug Smith, Joe Reagan, and Brian Kearney; Social Ac- tivities Committee: Harvey PIZZAS Stephens, Neal Mahoney, Laurie Goldenberg, and Jeff Catlett; TOPPINGS: 12" 14" 16" Onions 5.05 6.15 7.35 Social Board Treasurer: Tom Cheese $4.15 $5.10 $6.20 Green Peppers 5.05 6.15 7.35 ' Hedge. Positions for one and two Real Pepperoni 5.05 6.15 7.35 Hot Peppers 5.05 6.15 7.35 year terms on Judicial Board were Mushrooms 5.05 6.15 7.35 Green Olives 5.05 6.15 7.35 also selected. The two year mem- Italian Sausage 5.05 6.15 7.35 Fresh Tomato Slices 5.05 6.15 7.35 bers will be Minturn Osborne and Ham 5.05 6.15 7.35 Anchovies 5.05 6.15 7.35 Dave Guenther. One year alter- Ground Beef 5.05 6.15 7.35 Any Vi and Vi above 5.05 6.15 7.35 nate members will be Steve Szabo -- Any 2 Bob Vr n Items 5.95 7.20 8.50 ' and Brooks. - - OHMS-;,c - In other Council business, flttWW- free Any 3 Items 6.85 8.25 9.65 Any 4 Paul McCartney sub- , , Items 7.75 9.30 10.80 Treasurer 662 North Sandusky mitted the- - proposed 1982-8- 3 Mount Free Drinks! operating budget from Finance Vernon SUN.-Thur- Hours: s. 4:30-1:0- 0 Committee for approval. He noted 393-601- 5 that the special interest groups in FRI. & SAT. 4:30-2:0- 0 the budget would receive 66 per- - 2 Cups of Cola FREE in- . cent of their funds from Council stead of the 50 percent that they with any 12 or 14" Pizza received this year. The allocation of second semester funds for $2.50 OFF $6.00 theses groups is contingent on their 4 Cups of Cola FREE ability to raise their 34 percent of ANY LARGE, the funds by November 30. i with any Large Pizza ANY LARGE,

3-ITE- budget was approved, i AA Before the 2-ITE- PIZZA M members of the Fourth Floor PIZZA i No Coupon Necessary! Gallery Co-o- p voiced their opinion i concerning the Finance Com- i Offer Good Anytime mittee's refusal to allocate funds One Coupon Per Pizza One Coupon Per Pizza 5-15-- for art openings. According to the j 82 3936015 Expires 5-15-- FAST FREE PIZZA DELIVERY 82 Finance Committee's report on FAST FREE PIZZA DELIVERY Expires WEST CASTLE GAZETTE

Volume Rated XXX mjvm umu vci, nuHnoia, Exam Time 1982 Delts Capture DKE Lodge InAmphibious Attack By Tony Benn Just hours ago, in the pre-daw- n fanatic known only as JIMSTEEN, willing to back down or admit that larkness, an elite force of Delta The Delts have emerged each year they could be wrong. The DELTS au Delta commandoes, their from their soggy homeland to reek continue to consolidate their aces blackened and their bodies death and destruction on others of position, and the DKE fleet steams horned of hair and other iden- - their kind. Now they have decided onward, pausing only to refuel at ifying features, took possession of to expand, using the far-flun- g cor- Kilroys market. Time is slipping he DKE lodge in a bloodless, ners of the DKE empire as their away from us, Dean Reading is kirgical military action. Now, as springboard. For the time being, still seeking an eleventh hour he sun climbs higher into the they are successful, but can they solution, but the prognosis is not jambier sky, the pink, lime green defeat the formidable armada that good. Well known political analyst ind Nantucket red flag of the DKE approaches from the West Wing? and concerned freshman Chris mpire has been replaced by the Professor Wendell Coats of the Pisano, who wishes to remain 3elt flag, an amphibious serpent Political Science Department is anonymous had this comment: vith a legend "tread water with skeptical: "The Delts have cap- "Dean Reading has about the me or else." tured their objective, but I sin- same chance of finding a peaceful Reaction to the invasion was cerely doubt they can hold it. They solution as Assistant Dean for wift. DKE President Luke Lock- - are primarily a water power, and Student Temperance Karen wood resigned in shame, said he: they maneuver awkwardly on Williamson has of making Kenyon land. I should have foreseen this, but I Their heaviest weapons are a dry campus." '"' r-- " four Plymouth furries, was in t lonaa at ine time. An IV r equipped As the whole world waits with AM-F- M emergency meeting of the DKL i& radios. Those DKE breathlessly for further develop- was 'K"' BMW Mounted" stereo systems can ment, we can only hope that cooler Executive Council convened, waste a and the DELT action was con- moose." heads will prevail, and that the Dorrold. colabroto rholr tofcootor ol rho DEKE lodgo As this first day of demned. Cries of outrage and "toss whllo rhoy rofuvonoto rhomiolvoo In th. im the crisis dark shadows of conflict will not be AC pool. DoAngoUi Mid rhol ho wai glad rho troop hod cam proporod with lro oitingulihora draws to a close, the situation is me brewskie" rang through the for m 'mart rhora visited upon our pleasant, little a M covldfi't bo any drying up casuartloo. critical. Neither to be lounge. foreign side seems village. West Wing DKE At the Delt Lodge, middle The only voice raised in support Secretary Unver Khan, in a voice Leonard strongman Generalissimo of the Delt move came vowed to from the choked with emotion, for life Keith Deangelis defended Soviet news agency Tass. In a long, deal with the DELTS summarily, his fraternities action, "we have tin-p- confused and rather silly tirade, said he: "We cannot allow this ot always claimed the DKE lodge as the Soviets praised the Delt forces little fraternity to wantonly our own. We have tried for years to for their on --' ' r- assault Imperialism. f-:- hV .. wr-ii- inter-fraterni- ty r.ifr" i v " ):? violate law." force the Imperialist-coloniali- st The Soviet statement went on to f. vwwoviv The DKE high command or- Dekes, to give up our pillaged condemn US, NATO, Katherine the complete mobilization of dered territory, but they have always Hepburn, the Bunny, non-dair- y to Easter all recently activated freshmen, stalled us." "Now we have taken creamers, and economic Im- form a battle group. The DKE's decisive action." perialism. Tass also claimed that are known to possess the latest in When questioned about the several Soviet submarines would BMW armored personnel carriers legality of his action, Deangelis be in Knox county within the week. containing sophisticated stereo replied fiercely; "There is no justice The US State Department was systems. Admiral of the fleet Sir in relations between fraternities unable to give a statement on the Daniel Mechem K.B.E.C.A. said: there can only be the will of the Soviet release, as they were all "Failure is a word which has never powerful and the aquiesence of the hopelessly in hysterics. Professor entered my lexicon." weak." John Elliot of the Political Science Nowhere was the shock more Elsewhere however, the question Department did have the following acutely felt than in the SAC. Said of justice was taken quite analysis however: "The Soviets Dean of Students Edwards, "The seriously. In the Interfraternity have really become absurd in the situation is delicate, we are friends Council, the Dekes asked for, and last twenty years. Their statement with both parties involved. While obtained a resolution demanding was utterly ridiculous, though they DKE first college fraternity lodge built in the U.S. we are tied to DKE historically, we the immediate withdrawal of all do have the capability to operate had counted on the help of Delta Delts from the DKE lodge. The their submarines on land, as we Tau Delta to help us contain the Psi European Economic Community saw some time ago in Sweden." Upsilon insurgency." Dean Ed- followed suit, refusing to ship Delta Tau Delta hegemony is NewApartmentsRenamedi dispatched his main swimwear or wool ski hats to the well known. For many years now, wards Walt Disney donated in his will an undisclosed amount of money diplomat, Assistant Dean for Delts, as did Japan who froze the sight of the depiliated hoards,-thei- r to Kenyon College for the renovation of the New Apartments, it was Robert delivery of two Sansui belt-drive- n webbed fingers clenched in Student Residences Monday. Reading on a mission to the West turntables. Luxembourg joined the fists of triumph have been a con- revealed I mat in to gel Delt Lodge, in an ef- too, offering to issue a reminder of the dangers of Disney s will, recently discovered, stipulates order Wing and the bandwagon stant to in the neighborhood of $100,000, the College lides. stamp. absolute power. Led by a religious the funds, reported be fort to avert beers commemorative must rename the apartments after the seven dwarfs in the Disney classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The College has Reefzed reportedly agreed. Unidentified sources confirm that Apartment A Kenyan Girls to be C "f: will be renamed Grumpy, Apartment B Happy, Sneezy, D Sleepy, 1 I E Dopey, andF Bashful. The laundromat will De renamed uoc. as Total Women in 982 News is Brief None ol tne dwans were avauauie ior cuiumeiii. When asked to comment, President Jordan said, "What?" Stating that "there is one chall- if Brief enge Kenyon has not yet prepared Tentative plans, according to News its girls for," faculty member Mrs. Mrs. Kipp include regular weeklyu Rita Kipp announced the meetings, and special seminars establishment of a Kenyon chapter with guest lectures. Topics being Mrs. Reagan j of Future Homemakers of considered include negligees for V America. the newlywed, new uses for those "Pot roasts, making curtains, messy soap tid bits, how to be a iSfrikes Again and burping babies are the skills doormat, cooking to please your that girls will find most important man, diaper rash and nudity on to them in the real world." soap operas : By Bill Edwards Mrs. Kipp. "Kenyon Is it for you? "Some of us may think that continued I to a false sense in self "If the interest is there, and nothing is funny about Ronald seems foster include a in - think it will be, we may Reagan as President; others may its girls." to do with has submitted a workshop on 101 things think that everything is. Mrs. Kipp said Mrs. proposal to Provost Jerry Irish empty baby food jars." But whatever our persuasion, academic Kipp. we've all learned that when the suggesting possible hopes to the program, with a The organization also situation gets really grim, his credit for by Marabel to possible home economics major sponsor a lecture "mommy" can be counted on Women's Studies Morgan, author of The Total bring comic relief, as shown in this through the Woman program. Woman and The Total factual event reported by United

tor International: Women's Center co-ordina- Cookbook Press Bombeck has OF HUMAN INTEREST . . Miss Carolyn Wilson is delighted Columnist Erma ITEMS organization and this to say about the prominent 4-- . PREPARED BY UPI's VICKY with the hew 1 his coptly.. Ml. folntod, olth.i Marable Morgan'g O'HARA IN CHICAGO. n .k imnn ottnckori with Sharon Colli, at Cattl. loan group is author: "If big or hor computor courio. (Doctor on hand could not oic.rtoln which.) emphasizes her in-'curra- by apo that ble Do' save your Reagan must be an ov.rwh.lmod th. behind the effort "We've Beef Fun can't Nancy 100. - dividing the At a lobbied for this group for years." marriage start optimist. silver ' " Smithsonian exhibition of award- - Gorillas Kill Staph She cites the large predicted studying the Chilian main reason Miss Wilson is also winning American paintings membership as the affiliate 4 TUAP;H.tT nl,T fnnnrl new location next possibility of forming an By Mikhael G. Dejesus were heartless. They said, 'you for the Center's girls who to say about nite, a band of spell youll we can spend the suDDort group for those something positive Last Sundav can't for nothing and year. "I hope v,., not uot fnnnd their man. l almost evervthing Even Chillyan guerrillas burst into the pay!'" first few meetings cleaning and think this can be the most thnnoh the works dealt with violen Collegian omce ana Dirnea In a communique releesed decorating the new center. It s systomaticly for traumatic experience of a girl ce or despair. dictionarys, and then Monday mourning, a grope called should be fun and challenging said, work by of edditorial would four years here," Miss Wilson When she came to a shot and killed all the "Alliance for Better Spellers and a all the girls. Of course we openly of New York, you write klatch "and its time we Richard Bosman staff, screeming, "when Free Chili," or ABESPAFRECH, have a nice coffee stoDDed and looked at chilly correctally ! ' ' claimed responsibility for the Wilson. acknowledged it." Mrs Reaean this up, spell afterwards." said Miss a A surviving layout assistant told attack, and vowed continued reason girls Statistics reveal tnai y7o " " 'several scenes depicting "One of the main marry bleeding corpse a flaming head of the grizzly slaughter after being resistense to the rizing tide of is to find a man. female Kenyon graduates ... come to Kenyon - out of chasing hours in the which to .;tK; thnir- fircr six months . . . and a man with a knife held hostage for six mispelling and oppression We feel its our responsibility a shock young woman into the surf. Then isolated office. "They made me plagues the world today. and help them school. "This can be quite a follow up on this, , 10 me cum umn- - , President Jordan, when asked to their man." rt tho Kpnvnn vears. mio. sne lurneu aiusi sueil cmiiy uvci am learn how to keep nn I K-i- want to 'you must love the sea. the tearful survivor. "I comment, said, "Jeez, don't Williamson. vnlained "We iust mented, recalled added Dean Karen easier for our This is wonderful. Keep going. tried to reason with them, but they know. I can't even spell telefone." "I'm just sorry I won't be here for make the transition shclamented. girls." she concluded. me IOI1UUC pai u. WMtCnHabntt

The Left Turns Right NtsycA r IflWiM AiLfl-- 4 - r ' I

By Bill Koggan v-.- U X VP" n r One and a half years ago, Ronald does the U.S. have to worry about Reagan took office in a country the rest of the world's tired, poor wracked by unemployment, in- and hungry, because there are flation, recession, and no foreign enough here already. But that is policy. Mr. Reagan has turned all being taken care of: handouts are that around, and addressed many being cut off, and only the truly other problems in American needy are still on the welfare rolls, society as well. Inheriting a coun- and it won't take long for those 50 try from a lilly-livere- d leftist slob to die, and then we won't have to like Carter is never going to be worry about welfare at all. And easy, but Mr. Reagan has besides, it builds character to managed to do just that with flying struggle and subsist. It's a good ex- colors. perience to be unemployed. The America today is not the In addition, Mr. Reagan is America of two years ago. Mr. reopening the door to the days of Reagan has succeeded in forcing a nuclear blackmail. Remember no spine liberal Congress to when we told Russia to get out of swallow his medicine, and the Cuba or we'd nuke 'em? Gosh, it results are breathtaking: no more must have been good to be an does the U.S. have to listen to the American then. belly-achin- g of useless third world Ronald Reagan has this country countries like Nicaragua - (witness back on the right track, and I'm last week's invasion); no more proud to be on his side. Stteg, SvU...... THE KENYON COLLEGIAN could care less ifyou wrote letters. All submissions will be laughed at. The right Editor reserves the to misinterpret the original intentions of the particular submission, in as many embarrassing ways as possible. tensive, as they consist solely ot a Dear Ginguinnagul, rock. They pay homage to it by Dear Editors: Chalmer's Library, and finally I Shale Daron? Hi! How are you? Greetings smashing bottles against it. Our organization would like to served on the Warren Commissior. : of my comment your college on its To the Editor and the Chief from the world imagination! Phi-Ka- ps These people are fine and testified in the Watergate Rumor has it that you guys don't My wandering mind has lead me to known as great entertainers, food service. By the way. we're hearings. exist. That you are really not two one of its most distant outposts, a which some say is due to the fact naving a special on potato Despite the extensive demani but one insubstantial person, with place isolated and mystical, called that they are all clowns. saiaa 7c a pound. these commitments make on rr.v lots of wigs, two names, and lots of KENYON COLLEGE. Yes, this Dekes A people afflicted by a The Kroger People precious time, I still have time for personalities. Is'it true? If not, how land of myth and romance never congenital disease which shortens (we're open all night) my hobbies, such as: getting sick. - come I've never seen you both at ceases to intrigue me, so different ex- - sailing off into the sunset with Yale the backs of their necks, thus To the Kenyon Community : the time, and how come you is it from our mundane existence and modeling skirts tha same posing their noses to the heavens. Due to a lack of campus input rejects, answer to each others' names? on the planet Duerf. Let me Psi-U- look like retired choir robes. 's A quaint, rustic com- except for the loud and zealous Come on, out with it. We told the describe some of its charac- In conclusion, living in the VI ; munity of shepherds who know population of fascist Reaganites, (see page one) . teristics to you. will provide a truth much about sheep and their we the Political Forum Editors woman's bathroom The former Student Council Prevalent in the southern region location so I can eat at usefulness to man. have been forced to lower central that are numerous warring factions, or Gund or both, and offer a ADs Many of these people play ourselves to begging you, the Peirce called FRATERNITIES. These nice setting for students to Condom Machines a game called basketball, which I liberal Liberal College crowd, to neutral minorities constantly vie for to for To the Editors: believe involves salivating all over shut these Raygunz come voice their concern housing, recruits, and most im- fanatics up. quality food service. Last week Freshmen Council oneself. We are very disappointed in you; in- portantly, women. Each group is voted down the measure for One fact common to all these what happened to all of you vocal availability of birth con- remarkably fierce and in- Sincerely yours. creased minorities I find extremely Haydenites and Brown-lovers- ? We nationalistic. For example, the Stepanie Stunken trol at Kenyon. This is particularly teresting: despite their being all of don't want to have to do this J. D-Ph- again, Defiant Ones, nicknamed the is, disturbing to me, as I am now in one sex, they still manage to so come on, write! absolutely to the my fifth month. Thanks a lot refuse reproduce, and thus replenish their Sincerely, Postscript: Anyone resembling assimilate themselves into the above person is the i- everybody, because of your ranks year after year. I have no George Thurogood and said strictly And mainstream of society, and instead the ntent of No Right: apathy,, now I have to pay. idea how this is done. Destroyers, Political Forum the author. don't say that I could have gone to remain as they always were, even Despite the attempts of these Reserved. Mount Vernon to get protection, to the point of carrying the same political factions to gain power, it Editors, (alias, the fragmenting Benjamin R. Barnet! shuttles just aren't convenient personality from their youth into personalities of Michael is the dictator P. WESLEY Cantankerous) enough. maturity. Another political group, TUCHINGS who rules with an iron Xerox Coordinator the Peeps, maintains strict fist. He resides in RANSOM HALL, To the Editors: Tearfully, requirements concerning those which is quite appropriately Recently while going through the We Love Recent Oberlin Transferee who join their ranks, e.g., You named, for he controls the money garbage cans of the SAC, I found Cick Rurtiss must be named Tom. supply of the country, taxing the the scraps of the following Letter I honestly don't know why, but Phylis Shafly middle-clas- s a great percentage of of Intent. I felt it was my duty as a these idosyncracies all the more scholar- Kenyon student to attempt to re- their income, and refusing Dear Editor: endear me to these rustics. Most ships at will. I once saw a poor soul construct the letter so as to show Paul Yet when I get home night I Who??! Peeps have the ability to alter their leave his office after a futile at- the Kenyon community the quality at minds into a higher plane of like to bind my old man up in a To : tempt to lessen his burden. In of the candidates that apply for the Editors existence. I have not been able to chair with clothesline and read to I writing to protest the recent tears, and in possession only of the positions on our Student Council. am ascertain how they do this, but I him Mill's Subjugation of Woman. court case in which a recent clothes on his back, I could not help To the Student Council Executive will let you know, as I mean to look Committee: Sincerely, Kenyon dropout sued a famous but pity him. I would have given Phylis into the possibility of trying it him money myself, except that the Letter of Intent for a Position on Shafly British rock star for assuming a myself for they say the Peeps are any unratified state false identity. How was the talen- local check put me in great debt by the Student Food Service Com- great achievers. I think my best ticketing my car every time I mittee, For Stephanie J. Stunken. ted singer to know that he had the route will be to approach To the Editors: dink-Ph- certain any people Having reached the plateau of same name as some i in exited it. At rate, the or wealthy Peeps, who get what they are languishing under the of successful completion of my It's not like I hate fraternities, Ohio? I mean if he didn't want rule just call "shipments." Fascinating. TUCHINGS. fac- sophomore year and I gaze down that I hate independents; it's anybody else to have his name, There are radical I I durst not tax your patience by who upon the magestic vistas of that I hate everybody, and why doesn't he go someplace else? tions in the north are in favor off. outlining in great detail the many of changing the state into a more Kenyon College, I realize that I actually wanted to piss you all other minorities. In short, here is a Okay? Signed, democratic form, but P. WESLEY have reached the apex of my list of those remaining usually silences them by revoking educational career by applying for Sincerely, Concerned citizen in the Kenyon huge, Charles Devins Community Betas dumb brutes their scholarships. a position on. the Student Food Ser- whose possessions are not very ex- - Well, now I must journey to the vice Committee. Let me describe place where most Kenyonites my interests and activities that Dear Editor, We the undersigned hereby engage in masochistic PEIR-CE- . would qualify me for this esteemed acts, order But more of that later. I bid position. petition that the Collegian, in you adieu, and please send my Food preparation and eating to keep its continuity and integrity, WEST CASTLE GAZETTE regards to our family. have always been integral parts of promise to print the name "Paul my life. For example, for the past McCartney, with at least one pertinant comment by Paul Shale Daron Editor-in-chi- ef Love, thirteen years, my father has sold Crickikilum caramel popcorn and rubber McCartney, in each of its issues for next two We taken Dear chickens at Shea Stadium. And my the years. have News Editors: the liberty to fulfill this week's Byron B. Shifaced Editor I'm still afraid of girls. mother has appeared on the Julia Child cooking show to demonstrate requirements for you: Paul Michael Cantankerous Political Sincerely, most Forum Editor Ned Kyle her techniques for boning breast of recently said: "As the important figure on the Kenyon Relinda Moberts Features Editor holed up in Bexley 103 iguana. I, too, have carried on this Dear Editors, proud tradition. campus next year, I plan to . . ." Anna Times Assistant We're not. As a graduate of Lower Mud Thank you, Paul. Features Editor Humbly yours. Sincerely, Room 128, Clair High School my principal in- Johnathon Savage Fays, Qeuanne Riss Artsy, Fartsy Editors South Leonard terest was searching for and fin- President Philip Jordan Dear ding men with hairy thumbs. But, Robert Reading Editors: Thomas Dave Beacon, Bob Timex Sports Help! Ms. Woods! in addition, to this advocation, I Edwards Editors He's holding McCartney me and .nobody knows was also three-tim-e President of Paul here about John Smith it! Help! Owww! Now he's writing the Future Homemakers of Katy Clicker, Xen Leppner, Savior Allwill, Theodore Denison on Help! Help! America. Jane Doe me! William Winpisinger Rowdy O'Brien, LeBreeze Lawesse, Emily Pollenbrach, A Library Book (not Finally, Kenyon College has .Tan PutdaFth '. Layout Editors checked out) given me a chance to become in- Michael Stanley McCartney Caples 303 volved in diverse activities that Paul Stephen 'what picture?' Hays Photography Coordinator Dear have helped round me out as an in- AlHaig Editors: Michael Mouse O.K., so I was wrong. God dividual. I am presently a member isn't Carol of the Hard-Col- d Club, I served on Edwards Steve "no more vans" Szabo Business Manager dead. It was a long shot, but at least give me credit for trying. the President's Commission In- The Easy Winners Stanley Anonowitz Morris 'nine lives' Thorpe, Jr Circulation Manager Sincerely, vestigating Possible Sex Fred Nietzsche Discrimination by the Placement The John Dix Band to Paul McCartney Geoff "do you ever go to classes" Smith .Advertising 8th Circle of Hell of the Water Fountain closer the Newark, N.J. Women's Bathroom than the Men's Sharon Castle Bathroom in the Basement of Ronald Reagan Dale West Wtt CaiH Smtt fcjShit' Sherlock Guide to the Kenyon Experience eryone knows that there's Kenyon may seem far-of- f or To a widespread fad for a year make bread, the school teach-in- or outdated in parts, it's still a insists s and canvassing. muddy, bw with what some might call that most of the kids live in the dreary introspective drag. a delightfully amusing volume: Constructive artinn of pus develoDment- - dorms at $305 Lots trees, greenery and KENYON is an oasis of turned on a SURVIVAL: squirrels on rground college catalogs. semester average cost. campus. Very slight freaks in the Middle-Americ-a Easy at Kenyon. People ;e will tell you all the Many have cars and dates are air and water pollution. Most of the usual Midwest. are individuals, into their own thing buildings are ts plus more about a given cheap. Inexpensive clothes are the Gothic stone. Peirce SERGEANT PEPPER SECTION: rule. and there's no peer group Hall has a lovely tower that ?ge; where to get drugs and 957 pressure. undergraduates. Entering stretches upward stained-glas- s now easy BROTHERS AND SISTERS- - and has it is some costs freshmen should Contraceptives are available in included: sex on the take a college Ratio cats: chicks 5:1 windows. Eyesores include prep major in high school, town. All survival services are in the dorms. "Hallways ical attitudes of the students' need This is the first year Kenyon has in the recommendations from high-scho- ol Cincinnati and the school's student y; and gone coed and the cats women's dorms must have been students' views on the officials, good SAT ACT are very health suffices. Chaplain Rogan is designed by rtments of and happy about it. There a drunk. You run into instruction. out-of-stat- e, are a ton of a very good scores. 60 15 blacks. freaks draft counselor. the walls." ke excerpt on Kenyon below is and even the Greeks don't ENVIRONMENT: ACADEMIC BULLSHIT: look like Greeks. Reprinted by permission from h one of the best of such Kenyon is a Everyone dresses Mental People talk small liberal arts casual-jea- ns, button-dow- about Susan Berman, editor. The es The Underground n Guide college. The school doesn't require shirts student action and read all the Underground Guide to the College he College of Your Choice, bv boots, penny loafers, no one gives any particular classes. At the end a usual freak books. of Your Choice. Copyright 1971. n Berman. shit about appearance. Kenyonites in of four years you take Some Physical Fall and spring are New American Library, Inc. under ral should find it amusing; the freaks have short hair and some wonderful comprehensives in your major. Greeks here. Winter is a cold, aipnei lanei. rew York, n.y. i and other neophytes have long. A turned-o- n might Classes are small and students and group. I find it a little informative If professors are very juide close. Best There's not much dating seems to praise Kenyon departments are English, Political since lould be pointed out that the there are so few chicks. Gambier is Live, from Science (most people are in the Gambier! or's group is from the Berkelv traditionalists middle of nowhere. Sexual and are into the relationships are casual d naturally, these people are philosophy side of and free. political Most chicks are from Ohio but rally subjective, and so science) and Religion. The re out to find the aren't backward like most Ohio It'sKCTV! mod life students like practically all the chicks even mnrp than rpal professors when it comes to especially Dr. liberation. All remic quality for many of the Kullman in relationships are After months of negotiations, planning, and preliminary Religion ("he's the free-wheeli- ng fges. un uie omer nand, it is and unstructured. production, it was announced late last week that beginning next charismatic prophet here"). Dr. Fraternities exist but inai wnen mis guide speaks Baker in History most are year Kenyon will have its own television station. Due to the ("everyone takes cool and hip. Most of the senior of a college, it does mean his course in Medieval History"), financial support and technical assistance of Storer Broadcasting, thine: unlike the rptnilar freaks have gone through dope and this station, tentatively called KCTV, will broadcast programs Dr. Haywood of the German have stopped using logs, they don't speak well of department, it. The geared toward the college audience. In an exclusive interview, and Drs. Crump and freshmen usually come on big roueges. ror example, lake Roelofs on ProvostProgram Director Jerry Irish gave The Collegian a run- of the English dope and then stop using it after a predictable shots at M.I.T. Department. All these professors down of proposed programs for next year's schedule: AU-Night- while All er ientific tvnes ahspnt- - here. types of dope are Theatre: blatantly awful movies will show during the are really into their subjects, enjoy readily ied. red socks and erev rjants. accessible although you early morning hours to keep students awake. Jeff Toole of KFS them and pass them on to their may have to wait two hours while tkled cotton . . hosts, continuing to uphold the standards of excellence originally shirts ."). students. your order is ersity of Nevada ("A political filled. Score on set on his Sa turday morning radio show. PassFail in your senior year. A campus. The administration is cool :um iwn umes. Military Free U called the Experimental Battle of the KCDC Stars: aspiring actors and actresses battle to and is just concerned that drugs the death to win a role in upcoming Bolton Theatre productions. nce is required. Even the College exists with courses in may be harmful. Franklin Miller: an explosive comedy set in c here is 20 years old.), or photography, jazz and chess,. the Physics Lab. The main bang is the happy-go-luck- y Denison University ("Most of "Coffee Follow the lunacy of these professors and pupils. There are three or four black Shop" in Peirce Hall. People go to people on this campus Ken Taylor's Bach Concert: join host Ken Taylor for 90 minutes are courses. "All classes are pretty big-cit- y Columbus for fun. of the best Bach music simulated lip-synch- ed by local s types preserved in butch heavy on and talent. writing papers." Students are liberals. They have SAC Trek: an ironic science fiction series set in the present day. '). Independent on the Honors become radicalized during the past th fnmmpnls likp that vnn Follow the thrilling episodes as students fight the evils of the Red program. two years with the giving up of Tape Menace. be sure the book is about that BREAD: booze true-to-li- and the inroads of dope. The Today's CDC: based on fact, this fe series focuses on spendable as the 1890 Sears Tuition is $2,635 a year for men of president the college is a master those graduates who have actually gotten jobs. (Limited run) . :logue for picking the right and $2,660 a year for women. s at placating students. "It's the Sneak Reviews: each week members of the judicial board ge solely on its advice; but it There's a real squeeze financially Magic Mountain, a fantasy discuss pending cases in which names are named and facts ai leasi capture some ot me so loans and scholarships are very insulated world here.". embellished for dramatic impact. :yles of each campus. And, tight. A number of campus jobs at In Mav of 1970 thprp was a lnt of Monday Night IM Football: Margaret Townsend and Norm if u iusits Buncmciiiastatements auumabout dveiaverageage wages. anti-wa-anu-wa- r activity wnicnwhich includedmcludec Kenyon are your announcers for the weekly contests between the best of Kenyon's intramural teams. Keith Thomas provides color. The Housing Lottery Game: join host Rob Reading as privileged udge Fudges and Jams in Rosse students vie for a chance to win a room in Farr Hall. ByRvf.lnriaGloria Novice--Nnvirp-- IC 'ritirritic The Andy Simmons Show: exercise the Andy Simmons way on able Fudge, local pianist, novative interpretation of this piano and harshly stroked the the daily program hosted by the author of the famous bestseller inded a politely sizable crowd work gave her audience a definite strings to suggest lightening. The The Barefoot Diet. .osse Hall last Ihursday at- - appreciation of the relative dif- unintential slam ot the piano's Leave it to Weaver: this show reveals what really happens at )on. Ms. Fudge has played ficulty of certain passages. To cover provided the appropriate ef- those parties and receptions held at Weaver Cottage. Your host for 0 tor over twenty-liv- e days, heighten the contrast, she played fect of subsequent thunder. As a the festivities is Carol Weaver. ying under Harry Wilson, her the easier parts very fast and. the denoument, Fudge played the One Dorm At a Time: a racy romp set at Kenyon's south end as door neighbor. Says rudge, more difficult parts very slow. whole piece backwards, the viewers follow the always outrageous exploits during am very tortunate to nave Following a lengthy in- suggesting a quieting tempest. For "freshman rush." y to to Wai-Men- g Kwok young in the f-- so close. He's given me a termission, Fudge returned the the dramatic finish this Tai Chi: stars as a Oriental trained left-han- Fudge who looking the derful new d stage to conclude her program masterful concert, turned martial arts wanders the American Midwest for lique." Fudge has performed with an original, conceptual work on a flashlight and shone it over the perfect graduate school. jghout central Ohio, most entitled simply "Rain". Fudge crowd - the symbolic return of the Alumni Boat: a behind-the-scen- es glimpse of the zany goings-o- n IbTy earlier last week, in a solo described her influence for this sun. at the Alumni House. Starring Hil Rizvi as the person who answers al for the Chillicothe Quilting masterful sound-collag- e: "I was the phone. sitting at the piano one day last The breathless audience erupted Man From PACC: an ideology-packe- d spy series. Each week the included week and just started playing into applause as Fudge bowed. She agents of an ultra-right-win- g think tank attempt to influence world ursday's program to lu trariitinnal niano nieces. around." The piece opens with an took three curtain calls, the last opinion, (original title: Shapiro's Law). v 1 1 ' Rosse Hall Wing: young fraternity members get drunk, High several were performed unpatterned tinkling of the highest Tom Houston, Wild Wild West six who sweeping up. (Limited comedy) . a npw twist Fudee onened her keys, suggesting a soft shower. Manager, 'was abuse women, and cause a nuisance. mid- Fudge said, deserved Little College on the a heartwarming family series, set ?ram with a two-octa- ve C scale The melody then moves to the Houston, Prairie: of the technical credit for her in the 1820s, about an Episcopalian pedagogue who tries to carve a ed first by the right hand, then dle range of the keyboard, with a much growing rapid flurry of discordant concert's success, for he was in new life for himself out of the Ohio wilderness. Dan Mechem ed in the lower left. the with a notes. As the symbolic storm charge of electronics (testing appears as Philander Chase in his dotage. :dge followed this piece flashlight.) cartoon show set in the mythical favorite by heightened, Fudge played whole batteries in the Zorek the Barbarian: children's known recital (Editor's note: The above ex- past when life was a series of dangerous and terrifying encounters ) Thompson, entitled "Swans groups of contiguous keys with views do not necessarily with large, hairy men. Based on the comic book of the same name. he could see the vigorous slaps of her hands. The pressed Lake ". One those of the paper, the That's Not Credit: Marjorie Woodward and Wes Tutchings team li con- patter of feet retreating up the reflect of Ms. Fudge's the columnist, any up this program in which they refuse students' requests for before the aisles added nicely to the effect. editorial staff, for ation as she sat of the audience, or local academic credit and financial aid. board for the piece At the dramatic climax of the members preparing dogs with acute hearing. ) People's Squash Court: Professor Harry Clor serves as & storm, Fudge leaned inside the tuil live minuies. r uuge in commentator for this exhilarating action show in which pre-la- w students discuss constitutional law while practicing for their future careers. The Colburn Gallery: an eerie anthology series with tales of the Week's Projections unexpected emanating from the mysterious corridors of Bexley This Hall. Narrated by the enigmatic Joyce Parr.

action-comedy-tragedy-science-fiction-psycho-docu-d- IPHS: a fast-pace- d rama yet practical methods of success of Warren Beatty's Reds. unusual with Kenyon faculty and students racing 4 seconds. half-ho- ur Commies Obsessed, not only did Cimino hairstyling. through the sum of human knowledge on this program. as much on production "Mary Ann Williams on How to Rhodes to Rhodes: an adventure series starring Governor James Starring Bob Hope, spend twice - mies. but he hired Beat- be Loud and Abrasive" Features Rhodes and Religion professor Roy Rhodes whose forte is solving :e.v Roonev. Susan Anton, and than Beatty did, industry's true us and tipped him some of the film of a politico-religio- nature. He Osmond as "Poopy." Direc- - ty's hairstylist to crimes What was Cimino trying to triumphs, including "How ARA: a satiric comedy with a conscience. The series iy Michael Cimino. 1981. double. without this film? That political thoroughly enjoy music chronicles the experiences of the food service with one of the lowest is multi-millio- n dollar musical say with will lead to disillusion- waking your neighbors." Silent, death rates in Kenyon history. edy based on the Chicago idealism English major subtitles. twists ment7 That personal philosophy with Phenomenological Island: There are always surprising market massacre tans On Sobriety" -- searches for the meaning of existence. - no should be pragmatic? That there "Martha Lorenz: and turns when man mse of three intrinsic flaws on actual shocking film Lesley Cohen Spear stars as Mario Ponty. Corn-als- o no Cantonese restaurants Features Professor r, no script, and no score. are indulging in Kenyon's own Chicago's near West Side with suf- clips of students The Phil Jordan Show: this lively talk show stars attempts to highlight the a guide to prospective professors, administrators, --out? One wonders. alcohol, and offers president as he interviews industrialist Nathan B. ficient carry af- up without a hangover patrons. ,

more waking

i-e- and (Hope), focusing on III, More Quickies ter 13 martinis. 7 minutes; Fraternity Feud: an exciting game show in which members of confrontations witn miuiani cocktails before and nightcaps af- Kenyon's august fraternities are pitted against each other as they W fDlaved by the In response to rising pressure, wnrkprs ter try to wrestle allegations of misconduct. Q-hn- "Night nl will also show another arH nf Dancers) and his KFS Hamilton-Securit- y: as security team will of- "Morris Thorpe Interprets join in on the adventure the 14-year-- we ktion his old ward of Quickies." This time, - own fashion. Sometimes for of these Robert's Rules of Order Ever tackles campus crime in their unique -- the movie versions oney). The movie nounuerb, fer wonder when it was appropriate tragic, sometimes funny, but always entertaining. ables, and plays cri tically --acclaimed best sellers: meetings and techniques, lighting gels, lost disintegrates, Book of for you to speak at Hill Theatre Blues: cinema verite 1 Even the appearance 01 me "The Dan Mechem gatherings, and when it cues, and carnations characterize this drama dealing - - fascinating study informal props, sound kettes during the picture's sup- Etiquette" This movie version of of the teenies. "Knock While was not? The with the traumatic life and times show-stoppe- r, nuw includes the famous controversial best seller steamy prime time soap opera set in a fictional scene and the thought Thopre's Gambier: a ;?matic is Marx's Dialectic, Entering" this question, and Thorpe college town. A proposed spinoff is tentatively titled Knox County. provoking "I'm borrowing this." 3 asks who no one t save this Deieagueieu himself will interrupt the projec- Real Students : This series spotlights Kenyon students minutes. you the answer. 5 they are always studying. to Hair-stylin- g, tion to give ever sees because amor has it that during filming "Dave Antila's Guide minutes. - Helpful hints on monotonous ino was intensely jealous 01 uie Vol. 1" Last m 'J , STUDENT COUNCIL PAGE STUDENT COUNCIL PAGE STUDENT COUNCIL PAGE STUDENT COUNCIL PAGE STUDENT COUNCIL PAGE STUDENT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo Reveals 1 Thorpe ri: Council Hoax By Juan Fortheroad :yt ' ' In an exclusive interview with the Collegian last Tuesday, ex-Stude- nt i Council President Morris Thorpe admitted that Student Council has not convened since Oc- J tober. i s "After the criticism we received 4X V, from the Michael Stanley concert we (Student Council) decided it just wasn't worth it," Thorpe told I the Collegian. "So we decided to V, bag it." Thorpe then added, "Not too many students showed up for the first meetings, so it didn't seem like too many people would miss us." Asked why the student body was not informed of this development sophomore Dfc,Kfc,S strut their stuff after their sex change Thorpe replied, "we still wanted operations. One heshe reported that the DEKES were frustrated everyone to think we were still on after they couldn't terrorize any women into taking a tumble with the Council. It has its benefits. Per- them. "So," the heshe concluded, "we decided to join them rather sonally, it helped me get into par- than fight them any more." Thomas Edwards, the official college ties without an invitation and I spokesman stated that, "it was the best thing those boys have ever could put pressure on maintenance done. They are lucky that they are rich enough to be able to afford a to find my dead boa. Besides, it whole new female wardrobe. We're glad that they have chosen to looks good on a resume." become Kenyon's first cheerleading squad. Besides drawing a big of Student Council President Morris Thorpe accepts the honor Thorpe accredited the success of crowd of Mount Vernon boys, they will provide moral for the being chosen by Playgirl as its outstanding male 'bod' at Kenyon the scam to Pam Becker, Council football team. I mean, what Beta would ever be caught in his dress College. Playgirl's stint at Kenyon was highlighted by their Secretary. "She's a genius. All the in public?????? cocktail party to attract the slimy malius Kenyoneisis and whose minutes we put out were products slogan was "Studs Stand Up and Be Counted." of her imagination. She should write for the movies." Becker her- Peirce Water Escapades self cited General Hospital and Election Rigged, Archer Victor Dynasty as central influences in By Tommy Edwards missed putting out a Collegia) the creation of the minutes. An enraged Student Council editor exiting the Collegian offici J. Morris Thorpe, today an- Thorpe also denied any rift bet- president was seen Sunday The Collegian office door! nounced that an error had been taking office he declared, "As ween the Council and the evening armed with an operating however, was not so fortunate. made in the counting of the ballots promised in my original radio Collegian. "Sharon Castle, Dale fire extinguisher muttering 8:04 p.m. Thorpe entered tlj in the election for student council speech, I have received a clear West and I are old drinking bud- something about, "Death to all Collegian office asking "Are the) president. mandate from the student body to dies - any hostility between the Student Council members!" More in here? Where are they?" with ta It had been reported that Paul abolish student government." Council and the paper was ob- than one Collegian editor was look of a hunter in his eye, hi McCartney had won with 51 per- When asked if the Ad- viously manufactured." Thorpe trapped in the Collegian office in blazing pony-ta- il slightly askei cent of the vote while challenger ministration would allow him to added, "Any Collegian wish is our Peirce Tower during the escapade. After attempting to make a phonl Jim Archer came in second with 45 take office, he replied, "Well if command." Below is an eyewitness account of call, he quickly left, exclaimiM percent. After a recount it became they won't I'll take it to the In a related interview new the entire incident: I m gonna get em. A ikes apparent that Jim Archer had Supreme Court." When asked if Student Council President Paul 7:42 p.m. Two slightly skirmish ensued downstairs, an) received 62 percent of the total the election was a joke he replied, McCartney vehemently denied any inebriated residents of Peirce upon inspection at 8:15 p.m vote while Paul McCartney had "NO COMMENT". When asked if Student Council hoax. McCartney Tower were seen entering the ToifnA rociHontc' flnnr roccrrl'J received just 38 percent. he had anything further to add Ar- stated, "I was at every meeting! Collegian office, bearing a large small flood area. In a telephone interview Mr. Ar- cher claimed that he was, "Disap- You can't pin this on Student Coun- bucket of water. A few minutes A good time was had by all. cher declared that he was willing pointed with the performance of cil! I'm the President! You can't later another, larger bucket was to return to Kenyon for another the Pittsburg Pirates this year so vote for Jim Archer! I'm the Presi-- " brought up. year to assume the position of far. I am also looking forward to before passing out from hyper- 7:52 .p.m. Morris Thorpe, student council president. When my term as dictator, urn I mean ventilation. reknowned president of Kenyon Class of '86 asked what he would do upon President. Thank you all. " After Thorpe's revelation College's Student Council emerged Kenyon officials took immediate from a stopped car outside Peirce By Dennis Morre, action to amend the situation. The and proceeded to walk to the front Buck A. Rooand officials wrote up a reslution that door of the buildig. A few seconds Jack O. Lantern required next year's Council not later a large quantity of water In keeping with the new colled only to convene, but also to speak cascaded upon Thorpe, who policy, Director of Admis- - and write down things that were emitted a loud exclamation of John Kushan has released sea said. The newly-electe- d Council surprise and ran into the building. surprising new facts about the a denied comment on the 7:58 p.m. Bearing a loaded fire tering freshman class of 1386. extinguisher, Thorpe narrowly The new college policy, v. states that college board sec are no longer required for ai mission to Kenyon, has brough even more, diverse crowd of Studenf Council Realizes plicants to the college than e before. Dream As Collegian Among the class of '86 there a .? 392 legacy students. 254 bfc (Kushan thinks this may be a k puter error), 42 unicyclists. a a Shuts lis Doors Forever who put herself through pi school by selling plastic la By Andrew Huggins the Collegian, and so I shall sorely decorations, and 104 charter it; A brief worded miss that unique and vitally in- and carefully bers of the Future Farmers press statement released yester- tegral part of Kenyon life." Dean America. . day noon sent waves of of Students Tom Edwards added, at. has Kushan hopes that this BMOC Stephen Hays lunges over his pygmy opponent and takes the shock, bewilderment and outrage "You've got to understand and perimental class will be lead in the relay at last week's Swahilian Invitational Track and through centers in the fully realize a paper, major urban that enriching addition to the Ker Field meet. Kenyon went on to batter the smaller African teams, U.S. especially a college paper, is at its and Canada. community and will be welcon though cries of foul play were raised after two of Swahili's best "The Kenyon Collegian," began best, a continuous mirror of the spear-chucke- rs by students and faculty alike. (javelin, you know) were found seriously injured, appointed speaker Martha Lorenz, college. Let the untimely death of stepped on by a of size eleven Nike running shoes. having been pair one time Collegian Editor-in-Chie- f, the Collegian be a similar signal to Kenyon denied responsibility for the accident. "after 126 years of service to the Kenyon. After all, 158 years is a STARTS SEPT. student community of Kenyon long time to be around too." College, Gambier, Ohio, must Dick Ralston, head of the Depar- close its door forever." Citing tment of Maintenance, could not be growing beaurocratic and finan- reached for additional comments. cial pressures, internal and ex- William Scott of the History ternal quarreling, a substantial Department discussed the event drop in subscribers, and reader in- historically; "A newspaper is like 555-601- terest in general, and "the fact your grandmother. It is born, 5 -- 1. that no one really wanted to keep grows old, and then dies. Its life's doing it anyway," Lorenz tearfully worth, like your grandmother's, is read to the bottom of her one page measured in the earthquakes it has statement, nodded to a few long felt, the robberies and murders it time Collegian acquaintances who has seen go by, and the cheap and had been especially invited to the purely sensational stories it claims press conference, raised her head to know. The Collegian, like your Kentucky briefly for the photographers, and grandmother, was a crushing bor . then died. Former roommate Jodi It's about time it died." Proto was quoted as saying, "I Sadly, the Collegian's last issue, ueruy shall miss Martha greatly. She distributed at dinner Thursday as never left crumbs on my bed, and I it has been for the past 126 years, always borrowed her records." was met with hardly a passing Pizza Current Collegian editors Dale remark. One student mentioned 'Fast, Friendly, Free Bareback Delivery" West and Sharon Castle shared the that "dinner tastes like it was 126 same sentiments. "We took the years old", and another com- paper over in the last shadows of mented that "I never really its twilight, and we're only happy realized Collegian was spelled with Sundays 6:30 p.m. we could put it to rest as well as we twoL's." All Next Year 1 4-- did. 126 years is a long time for A newspaper all its life, the ! $2.00 OFF anybody to be around, and we have Collegian and its third floor Peirce it on good account that The office, virtually unchanged since Collegian was pretty tired of the its founding in 1856, died quietly, i whole thing anyway." but will always be remembered. College ANY STALLION PIZZA President Philip Jordan The Latin epitaph provided by the - saw the end in a different light. "I Classics Department will remain On Coupon Per Pizza ' regret in my six years here I forever ringing in our 'Cape 31-9- that ears: Don f b a horn's oss. Expires 6 2 THE IMPERIAL CI NEW never had the opportunity to read Quinque, Collegian.'