The Scribbler MRMS literary magazine

Thank you to all those who submitted work for the publication of the 2014-2015 literary magazine.

A special thanks to the following students who planned, typed, proofread, illustrated, and made it all happen:

Megan Amero Louise Bassom Charlotte Bernhardt Emily Caccivio Lily Connors Tess Contois Ben Cooke Kate Flynn Adelaide Gordon Scott Janes Julia Jefferson Aniela Jordan Audrey Kiarsis Maria Lee Erica Luo Lilu Shaughnessy Julia Willett Yue Yan Zhang

Ms. Lydia Austin & Ms. Marcie Sidlowski, Advisors The Scribbler 2015 How do you read? Stories Enjoyed one story? The Tales of Rinn- a Read this Find a similar one continuing story perfect here! Browse through for mystery and adventure Published books for our categories and lovers! you! -- Family and Friendship pick one! This is just City in the Sky- A post- a sampling of what’s apocalyptic dystopia inside . . . starring a hero determined Little Women by Louisa to reveal the truth about May Alcott— his world. recommended by Ms. Sidlowsky The Snobby Noodle Man Poems Fish in a Tree by Lynda Two Chinese Ancient Mullaly Hunt— Poems- a poem Memoirs recommended by double-double feature, Megan Amero in English and Two Hundredths of a Mandarin! Second- A memoir about swim competition Faubus & Lockton— rivalries. Adventure, A poem written from Tower of Terror- A Mystery and two points of view using story about facing your Dystopia characters from the fears and trying new novel Chains. things. Runner by Carl Deuker— recommended by Ms. The Clumsy Dancer Dumplings and Austin —A poem about finding Biscuits- A memoir Down the Rabbit Hole by your own grace. about discovering Peter Abrahams— uniqueness and what it recommended by Addy Artworks really means. Gordon See if you can find . . . The Look that The Scandalous Grown-ups Give You- Sisterhood of • Two mermaids • A man contemplating A memoir about finding Prickwillow Place by cheese your voice, and the Julie Berry— • A moonwalk bravery to use it. TABLE OF CONTENTS

That Look That Grown Ups Give You by Megan Amero page 7 Artwork by Sean Li page 10 Snobby Noodle Man by Kate Flynn page 12 Artwork by Matt Parr page 12 The Clumsy Dancer by Margaret Brown page 13 Reality by Anonymous page 14 Anne Frank by Katie Everett page 15 Artwork by Hope Jensen page 15 Panic by Susana Martinez page 16 Faubus & Lockton by Will Glovsky & Eli Leonard page 16 Snow Day by Addy Gordon page 19 Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang page 19 No Need to Worry by Bianca Pizzano page 20 Think for You Translation and Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang page 21 Nostalgia Night Thought Translation and Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang page 23 Hesitation by Nathan Reed page 24 Thirty-Thousand Feet by Ayse Joy Shelton page 25 Artwork by Lilu Shaughnessy page 25 Sloth by Jenna Conley page 26 Artwork by Mackenzie Wallis page 26 Tower of Terror by Kaitlyn Fucillo page 27 Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang page 30 Unwavering by Miranda Boyd & Vika Kessler page 31 A Boring Adventure by Connor Ryan & Louis Preston page 32 Artwork by Ben Harris page 32 Mirror Story by Erica Luo page 33 Artwork by Ryanne Kim page 37 I Become the Noises in My Head by Charlotte Penn page 38 Endurance by Helen Peppler & Lily Connors page 39 Waking Up by Kate Riccio page 40 Artwork by Lilu Shaughnessy page 44 Dumplings and Biscuits by Addy Gordon page 45 Artwork by Amanda Full page 48 Artwork by Alistair Ong page 49 Two Hundredths of a Second by Erica Luo page 50 City in the Sky by Xander Favazza page 55 Surly by Bennett Nostrand and Charlotte Penn page 59 Look at Him by Will Glovsky page 60 The Notebook by Ella Stock page 61 Journal Entry by an Eyewitness by Emily Caccivio & Tess Contois page 62 Artwork by Evie Hogan page 64 Artwork by Ryan Laverty page 65 Artwork by Stephen DiMarco page 66 Artwork by Abby MacDonald page 67 Procrastination by Mark Roselli page 68 Artwork by Emily Spang page 68 Artwork by Jonathan Purdy page 69 Artwork by Aniela Jordan page 70 Artwork by Tobin Clark-Goldfield page 71 Artwork by Ayse Joy Shelton page 72 Flying Alone by Justin Tremblay page 73 Artwork by Alistair Ong page 75 Sandy Risk by Lainie Sanford page 76 Artwork by Electra Hamilton page 79 Unfortunate Animal Luck by Alessandra Brizuela page 80 Artwork by Padan Coles page 84 The Base Camp by Tim Donnellan-Doser page 85 Artwork by Stephen DiMarco page 85 Rugged Bear Troubles by Ginger Hubbard page 86 Artwork by Andrew Winch page 88 The Tales of Rinn by Ben Cooke page 89 Artwork by George Kessler page 92 Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang inside back cover

That Look That Grown Ups Give You Megan Amero

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I walked into the lunchroom. It was I can speak for myself, I had thought. The counter lady’s eyes had just slid right over packed full of kids wearing snow pants and me. heavy ski boots. The kids sat at ugly, painted “Megan Amero,” my mom replied. blue and green wooden tables, and ski “She and her sister can’t eat gluten. That memorabilia covered the walls. There were means nothing with wheat, barley or rye in trail maps, old skis and poles, and banners for it,” she added. the lesson groups covered the wall space that “Got it,” the counter lady said. was left. In a corner was an old TV that only She scribbled “Gluten Allergy,” on my played VHS tapes of Disney movies like button in blue marker, then handed it to me “Homeward Bound.” I was at ski school. I to wear. scoured the room for a glimpse of my sister or ———- my friends. I had brought a lunch, so I went The lunch lady pointed to my button and asked one of the lunch ladies, a short old again as I tried to wander off and sit with my woman wearing a white knit sweater and friends. I felt a hand on my shoulder. What baggy jeans, where it was. Her whitish-gray was wrong? I hadn’t done anything. hair was styled in curls cut close to her head, “You can’t sit over there, sweetie,” the and she wore the white Skechers sneakers lunch lady said to me, with that smile that that every person older than seventy five adults use when they think that they know seems to own. In fact, all of the other lunch everything. ladies were dressed like this—an army bearing “What?” I said. “All I want to do is serving spoons as their weapons. When she sit with my friends!” came back, she handed me the lunch box, and “You have an allergy, so you have to paused for a second, looking at my button. sit at the allergy table,” she said, in a tone that That was weird, I thought. My button was suggested that I didn’t understand anything. just like everyone else’s except for one thing, “All allergies sit at the allergy table,” she hastily scribbled letters that said, “Gluten pointed to my little sister, who had wandered Allergy.” over to me to grab her lunch. “And her too. Earlier, when my mom was registering Your tags say ‘Gluten Allergy,’” and with that, us, they gave us each a little button pin to she pushed us toward the table next to the wear with our name on it. “What’s her name?” trash can, where no one would ever sit under the lady at the counter asked my mom. normal circumstances.

7 “But our allergy is different . . . ” I This was the year that I had to get tried to say. my tetanus shot. All of the older kids in my “Just sit here,” she said for the final grade had told me that it hurt a lot more than time, rushing away from my sister and I a regular shot, and I already had a fear of before I could explain the situation. My face needles. I tugged on my mom’s sleeve. was burning with confusion and anger as I sat “Mom!” I whispered anxiously. “Is down at the ugly green table. She didn’t it going to hurt?” She sighed, and looked away understand our allergy at all! I could have from her phone. explained, if only she would let me! “No, Megan,” she replied, “I “Why does she think she can push already told you ten times today.” At this us around?” I mumbled under my breath. point I knew I was really bugging her, so I The thing about my allergy is, decided to stop my questioning. A nurse because I’m allergic to what makes up flour, walked into the room. my allergy is everywhere, in every food, so it “Megan and Sydney?” she called. makes no difference where I sit, because I’m My sister and I shared the appointment, since surrounded anyway. Sure enough, kids at the we had close birthdays. We walked into the allergy table were eating macaroni and cheese room, and the nurse sat down with a made from wheat flour. It made me so mad clipboard, looking at our records. The nurse when I was treated like I didn’t understand! was maybe in her early thirties, and wore pink I remembered another time when scrubs with smiling teddy bears on them. Was something like this happened to me a few that supposed to make us feel better? I thought. years ago. It was my nine-year old physical in She had a medical ID clipped to her spotless early October. I sat on a plastic chair in the pink pants that said “Donna M” with a slogan waiting room. My mom sat next to me, underneath that said I’m here to help! checking emails as my sister begged her to “Do I have to get a tetanus shot? Is play on her phone. I saw the nurse reading it going to hurt? ‘Cause I heard that it was from her clipboard the name of the kid who really going to hurt.” I blurted out, unable to was fated to enter the office of doom next. hold in my anxiety any longer. It was true, my The counter ladies typed endlessly on friend had told me all about it. computers as toddlers played with plastic “It hurts way more than all of the bead toys. A baby cried across the room from other shots,” my friend had said. “It makes us as its mom tried to calm it down with a toy. your whole arm sore and it hurts to bend it.” I stared at the book in my lap, so nervous Hearing this, I had thought This is just great! I that I couldn’t even read (which is big for already hate needles, and now I know that this shot me). No shots . . . no shots . . . please please please no will be the worst one I’ve had yet! shots! I thought, repeating it as though saying The nurse looked down at her it over and over would actually make the clipboard. “Yes, you are getting the tetanus words true. shot today,” she replied. I was completely

8 panicking on the inside and outside now. I counter, while another poured paper cups full felt scared, and butterflies fluttered furiously of milk and water. I chewed my sandwich in my chest. I started thumping my leg slowly as I stared down at the floor. It was so against the table nervously. Maybe I was unfair! I was basically there for nothing. It overreacting, because the next thing I knew, was one thing not to understand—I got that a my mom and the nurse shared a look, the lot—but it was another thing not to let me same look that the lunch lady had in the explain! I felt that just because of my age, the lunchroom. That was a warning flag. Uh oh, I lady thought that she didn’t have to listen to thought. What could that mean? me! I wondered why adults wouldn’t let me “Now?” the nurse said, startling me. speak for myself. Over and over again, when I What was going on? I had been panicking all tried to explain myself, they butted in and cut day, and had just wanted an explanation, not me off. I knew more about myself and what I an attack! was feeling than they did, so why were they “We should do it now,” my mom the authority on me? I decided that I didn’t agreed. The nurse reached into a drawer and want to take it anymore. I wanted to be pulled out a shot. treated like an adult, like I was capable of “Wait!” I yelled. “Why do you have making my own decisions. to do this now? Won’t you tell me?” The nurse I remembered that look that the just smiled, and advanced toward me. The lunch lady gave me as she told me to sit at the look in her eyes told me what she was allergy table. I promised myself something thinking—that I was just a little kid, and I right there, sitting at that table. Going wouldn’t understand anything that she had to forward, I was going to speak up, so I say. wouldn’t have to see that look or sit at that “Don’t worry, you’re going to be glad table ever again. Actually, why wait? I thought. that I did this now,” she said in a slow voice I stood up and turned to face my that was supposed to be reassuring. sister. “We’re not going to be forced to sit You don’t know what I’m thinking, I thought as here,” I said. she drew closer with the shot. You have no idea “We can leave?” she said with a about what I’ll be “glad about.” Just because I’m sniff. younger, it doesn’t mean that I’m clueless. “Why not?” I said. “It’s not going ———- to make any difference if we stay.” Just as we I looked up and saw my friends sat down at our friends’ table, the first lunch mouthing, “I’m sorry you have to sit there,” lady came over to us. from across the room. The room was filled “What’s going on?” she said. “I with the noise of kids walking in heavy ski thought you had an allergy! Why did you boots and the scraping of wooden benches on leave the allergy table?” the floor as kids got up. Two lunch ladies I explained to her about our allergy, served macaroni and cheese from behind a and this time she listened. Once I started

9 talking, and she saw that I actually knew myself, she didn’t look at me as a clueless things, something about how she looked at child, but like an equal. me changed. Now that I had stood up for

Artwork by Sean Li

10 Snobby Noodle Man Kate Flynn

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I’ve been here for a while now. It’s me. A long time ago, in fact, I guess you could gotten to the point where I’ve started to say I learned that lesson the hard way. wonder why I’m here. Then I remember. I’m I walked to my table and sat down here for my buddy. Rick Mathews was his with the usual people. It’s not that I’m friends name, a funny man, but also prideful. In my with them, it’s more like we are opinion, he was far too prideful. He’d make acquaintances. We only mutter complaints to bets he knew he couldn’t meet, but just one another really. I place down my tray and because someone thought he couldn’t he’d do stare at it for a few moments. it. I guess he was the most prideful man I I couldn’t stop it. I remembered. I know. The most prideful man I knew, remembered with such clarity it shocked anyways. myself, I felt like I was living it again—which I walk into the mess tent, it’s loud, was not a good thing. but when isn’t it? Then the smell hits me. My It was three years ago. Rick was a heart sinks so it’s resting in my stomach. I determined fellow, I don’t believe I’ve told don’t have much of an appetite anymore. It’s you that yet. Rick and I were strolling the the same smell I’ve been smelling for weeks base camp together. Neither hoped to go up now. I knew what would happen, especially to any camp higher than ABC. because it’s happened every time I’ve entered Then this pack of professionals rolled this tent. The sounds, smells and memories in. When they figured out about our goals, flood my mind. I guess you could say I suffer they laughed. And they laughed. They teased from PTSD. My mind drifted towards Rick, us relentlessly, doubting our manliness. It but I had to pull it away. I forced myself to stung, of course, but I carried on. But Ricky keep walking, one step, two steps, three old pal, he wasn’t one to be laughed at. One steps . . . day, he told the group he was going to There I was standing in front of the summit. He wrote a check and POOF. noodle station. My stomach churned with My buddy was going to summit. disagreement. My head pounding. I felt like I We went up to ABC together, but was going to be sick. I grunted back the once he acclimatized, he moved along vomit. without me. I decided to wait for his return The little boy looked at me with at Base Camp. I waited. And waited. I waited, annoyed eyes. He was taking my grunt waited, waited and waited. personally. So was his little friend. But I had Then we got the news. stopped caring about strangers’ opinions of

11 Rick had gotten HAPE at Camp Five. I stared at my noodles some more. I That some horrible group of professionals just stared and stared and stared. I completely dragged his body to Camp Three. But by the zoned out. I could hear nothing, see nothing-- time he finally could get help—Rick was except for the noodles. I could only smell the dead. noodles. I could hear them sizzling. Rick loved the noodles.

Artwork by Matt Parr

12 The Clumsy Dancer Margaret Brown

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I’ve been dancing since longer than I can remember. Ballet, modern, jazz, you name it learning their graceful techniques. Yet I’m told I’m a clumsy dancer.

Leaping, jumping, twirling my chest up my head held high but, I fall off curbs left and right. I’m the clumsy dancer.

Lifting other dancers high in the air making sculptures with our bodies still, tripping up the stairs at school. See . . . a clumsy dancer.

Ribbons twirling high waving back and forth in a sea of motion but mistakenly smashing a glass while rushing to catch the bus. A clumsy dancer, with a mess to clean up.

Practicing pirouettes in the kitchen dancing every chance I have danced the floor right out from under me. Clumsy dancer in a sling for two weeks.

I may be clumsy but I’m never stopping. I’m just a clumsy dancer trying to find grace.

13 Reality anonymous

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When life gets tough I like to be in a place only I can see in a place only I can be in a place where I don’t cower in a place where money isn’t power in a place where no one counts the days in a place where worries fade away in a place where it’s always night, it’s never day and all people ever do is play.

Life is no longer a game. It’s just a fight over fame It’s lost its meaning and its name.

So I take a step back and return to reality, and realize that when life gets tough, I can only rely on me.

14 Anne Frank Katie Everitt

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Anne is always on alert like chirping birds. Anne’s thoughts are ripping by her mind as fast as the wind blows. She’s secluded up in the Secret Annex like being trapped under the grey sky. Yet she shows her inquisitive personality in the way trees flaunt their flowers. Anne is one of the tall flakes of grass, in an un-mowed lawn. But her voice never goes unheard. She’s always there like the inch worm on your thigh. To some, the inch worm may be pestering, but to others it’s insightful. Anne, as strong as the wind, such a little inchworm in a huge world.

Artwork by Hope Jensen

15 Panic Susana Martinez

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Do you know that feeling when you get so should I use more than one way to describe panicked that you start to use run on myself, sentences? through this poem that's so stressful I’ll panic I know that feeling, it's like—like being oneself chased by some menace when your words are too quick and you start I panic about nothing, or just poems or some to feel faint and you panic and panic and something, that something being something panic? —that’s nothing

I felt that today, as my mind went astray and I Ugh, I look out my window and see people looked like a big, crazy maniac. happy, I panic about nothing, or just school or some while I am inside confused, with this poem, something, that something being something like, what’s an adjective and what to do about — that’s nothing imagery. This poem is making me extremely glum. You stress and you shake and you fuss and you even thinking about a poem makes my panic quake, glee. when hyperventilating means a trip to the bathroom, But this poems almost done, so now I’ll be my stomach feels like it will break, ‘cause fun that’s what happens when you have a tummy but just in case you have forgot I can panic ache and panic and panic, I feel like my friends should prepare my tomb for my words were too quick and I got really even thinking about a tomb makes my panic faint and I panicked. bloom I felt that today, when my mind went astray Wait, is this poem supposed to be three or and I looked like a big, crazy maniac. four lines? I panicked about nothing, just school and are the rest of the poems as long as mine? some something, that something being something—that’s nothing.

16 A two-voice poem is meant to be spoken by two distinct characters, or voices. The characters in this poem are Governor Orval Faubus a segregationist of the Civil-Rights era, and Master Lockton a Tory from the novel Chains. Their voices blend to form one message, with lines spoken by Faubus appearing in bold, while lines spoken by Lockton appear in plain text. Faubus & Lockton Will Glovsky & Eli Leonard

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Change, a despicable, deceitful thing. Change is a bird, with the potential to fly and soar, or crash and roar. Look what change has gotten us:

Riots Fights Violence Frights Fear

Wife fighting husband Brother fighting brother. Change is an elusive cloud that Covers Kills Condemns Creeps Crawls Makes it impossible for life to thrive.

Traditions are being lost, riots are breaking out, we needed to call in the national guard just to wear them out. Integration on football teams?

Work has stopped, people are dying,

17 slaves are turning on and spying on masters. We need order.

Change is a pair of handcuffs when unlocked, holds the potential to be disastrous. So keep them locked closed sealed tight.

Why can’t we stick to the status quo? Monarchy Segregation Patriarchy Separation Aristocracy Abnegation Down with innovation!

Slaves should stay in chains. African Americans should stay away. We’ve lived this way for thousands of years, why change? What is wonderful? It’s not tough Conceal the bear Close the handcuffs Send away the cloud Clip the wings Don’t let it go We need order!

Change a despicable deceitful thing. Change is a bird with the potential to fly and soar or crash and roar.

18 Standing in the snow. Will it ever stop blizzarding? I hope for a snow day.

Poem by Addy Gordon Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

19 No Need To Worry Bianca Pizzano

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No need to worry. “No Need to Worry,” is that a good enough title? What if I get points off for the title? The bad title will majorly affect my grade.

No need to fret. Oh God, I’ve wasted a whole stanza. What if my poem ends up too long? My poem will be too long, people will lose interest halfway through.

No need to overcomplicate. What if people reading this have lost their interest? Are people still listening, not just reading? No one is listening, they are waiting for it to be over.

No need to stress. Oh no, my poem is nearly at its end. Did you enjoy reading it? Of course you didn’t, it’s an awful poem.

20 ⽔调歌头.明⽉⼏时有 Think for You [宋] 苏轼 Su Shi in [SONG] Dynasty*

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明⽉⼏时有, When will the moon be clear and bright? 把酒问青天. With a cup in my hand, I ask the blue sky. 不知天上宫阙,今⼣是何年. I don’t know what season it would be in the heavens of the night. 我欲乘风归去, I’d like to ride the wind to fly home, 又恐琼楼⽟宇,⾼处不胜寒. yet I fear the crystal and jade mansions are much too high and cold for me. 起舞弄清影, Dancing with my moon-lit shadow, 何似在⼈间. it does not seem like the human world. 转朱阁,低绮户, The moon rounds the red mansion stoop to silk-pad doors, 照⽆眠.不应有恨. and shines upon the sleepless, bearing no grudge. 何事长向别时圆. Why does the moon tend to be full when people are apart? ⼈有悲欢离合, People may have sorrow or joy, be near or far apart. ⽉有阴晴圆缺, The moon may be dim or bright, wax or wane. 此事古难全.

21 This has been going on since the beginning of the time. 但愿⼈长久,千⾥共婵娟. May we all be blessed with longevity though far apart. We are still able to share the beauty of the moon together.

静夜思

Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

22 Nostalgia—Night Thought [唐]李⽩ Li Bai in [TANG] Dynasty*

床前明⽉光, In front of my bed and the moonlight is very bright, 疑是地上霜. I wonder if that can be frost on the floor. 举头望明⽉, I lift my head and look at the full moon, the dazzling moon. 低头思故乡. I drop my head, and think of the home of old days.

* translated by Yue Yan Zhang

Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

23 Hesitation Nathan Reed

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Hey Nate, Do you want to play basketball? the foods I could have tasted, No. the experiences I could have had, How about football? the memories I could have made, Ahh...No thanks. the friends I missed out on, Then what . . . ? the games I could have played in. I don’t know. All Hesitation to new things the maybes always. the maybe laters It interferes with opportunities and chances. the I don’t knows Why do I do it? the no, I’m goods the maybe next times Oh, that could have been cool. add up to things that will never happen. I wish I had done that. That could have been fun. could have, What could have happened? should have, would have... Sometimes I get to thinking about too late.

24 Thirty Thousand Feet Ayse Joy Shelton

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The languid clouds below drift peacefully, waiting for us to come back down. I imagine being cuddled by their cottony softness, instead of being squished into 24F. Through the gaps, small colorful fields seem unreal. The cool air from the overhead vent tries to pull my attention, but it only makes me think of the cold wind outside my window. It was fun to see the shapes in the clouds—ducks, boats, flowers. The sky is beautiful.

Artwork by Lilu Shaughnessy

25 Sloth Jenna Conley

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You have an assignment due Friday Make flashcards? It’s Tuesday Nahhh Should you start that? Nahhh You are going on a trip this weekend It’s Wednesday When you are slothing on the couch Start packing? Your mom calls your name Nahh Do you get up? Nahhh It is really nice out You have free time It is six in the morning Go for a run? Your alarm goes off Nahhh Get up and get ready? Nahhh This poem is due tomorrow You need to finish it There is a quiz on Thursday Should I? You need to study I already did.

Artwork by Mackenzie Wallis

26 Tower of Terror Kaitlyn Fucillo

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The first time I visited Orlando, Florida we “I want to get down!” I replied went to The Hollywood Studios Amusement choking down my tears. Just then there was a Park. When I entered the Park I swelled up nice lady coming up behind me. She wore a with excitement and a feeling of complete pink T-shirt and blue jeans. awe and wonder. There were so many exciting “Can you help me? I’m lost.” I said. thrill rides and terrific smells like freshly “Of course, follow me” she replied. popped popcorn. We walked further and the After I got down I thanked her and hugged first activity that I saw was American Idol. my dad and we left the Honey I Shrunk the Kids This activity was about going on the American park. Idol television show. The contestants would “That was really scary,” I told my sing and the judges would let you know if you Dad. made it. I didn’t want to sing because I was “I’m glad you’re okay,” he told me. getting a cold and I wouldn’t sound the same When we reached the streets, I heard as I usually do. Then I saw a Star Wars ride screaming coming from behind me. I turned and a Muppet Theater. There is also a park around and I saw it—the Tower of Terror. dedicated to the movie Honey, I Shrunk the This building was massive. It was a washed Kids. I looked around and saw giant hairy out orange with many windows. It looked ants, giant green, red, blue, and yellow Legos, really scary and creepy, looking all broken an extremely high spider web that looked like down. But it also looked really pretty with the a rope course, a giant brown dog nose that yellow sun and the white clouds on top of the sniffed, and an enormous black (and very blue sky above it. There were beautiful red hairy) scorpion. “Look Dad, there is a giant flowers, bushes, and palm trees underneath it. spider web! Can I climb inside the web on the “Can I go on it?” I asked with ceiling?” I asked. excitement in my voice. “Sure,” Dad replied. When I was in “Are you sure?” my Dad replied with the middle of the web, I panicked. Where’s the some hesitation. exit? What if I get lost and can’t get down? What is “YES!” I said. no one can find me? I started to feel hot, wet “Are you one hundred percent sure? tears rolling down my cheeks. because it’s a really scary ride,” my dad “Dad!” I yelled in a warbly tone. explained, “It drops thirteen stories.” “Kaitlyn, what is it? Are you okay?” As we walked closer, I started to get my dad asked. butterflies in my stomach and felt really, very nervous. I felt like I had a belly ache. It didn’t

27 look as scary from far away, but as I stood everywhere. In the lobby they had red carpets before it, my stomach churned and I because and a high tiled ceiling. “Wow, Dad look at as nervous as if I were going on stage to this; it’s amazing,” I said amazed. I looked at perform a play or music concert. I was scared the front desk and there were creepy door just at the sight of it. I started to regret my men and bellboys directing us into the library decision because it got into my head. “Dad, I area. Inside the library there were more changed my mind. Do you want to do doormen. Their makeup was very good, they something else? That Indiana Jones ride looks looked really dead. They spoke in scary voices really cool.” that sent chills down my back, then the door My Dad replied, “It’s not that scary, closed and we were in the dark surrounded you’ve been on scarier rides. Your cousin with other people and I could feel the warm Michael went on this ride, and he loved it.” breath of the person behind me. “Dad?” I I remembered the time that I was at Canobie asked, “Are we on the elevator now?” Lake Park and was determined to go on a ride “No, I think that we would be called Untamed. When I was in line for that buckled up and not just standing here,” he ride, I was excited and scared at the same replied. Then on a mini TV on the top right time. When I went on it with one of my corner on the room started to play an old friends it wasn’t so bad—actually it was really black and white movie about when the Tower fun. I decided to pull it together and to go on of Terror got to be possessed and haunted, the Tower of Terror with my dad. and about the history of the Twilight Zone. The line for the Tower of Terror was After we watched the black and white film in extremely long but when my dad and I first the dark. I was scared for the journey ahead. saw it looked like nobody was in line. I Then a wall opened and everyone rushed out stepped onto the rope-marked path. It looked and then I realized that THERE WAS like a maze outside. Then we walked inside ANOTHER LINE!!!! You’ve got to be kidding the Tower of Terror hotel lobby area, which me! I thought. But the good news was that I looked like an old, broken down hotel. There could see the ride now. were so many people in line I thought that we We stood in line for a long time and would never get to the end of the line. When my feet started to ache. Then, it hit me again I looked around the lobby there was an owl —my stomach turned again and I got so cornered in spiderwebs, all of the lights were nervous, I didn’t know what was going to also covered in cobwebs, and the book case happen as soon as I got clipped into the seat. too. In the book case there was a black book Then it was our turn to get on the possessed with a shimmering gold print on the side and elevator. This is crazy, I thought. I wanted to it read “The History of the Terrorized Hotel.” be brave and bold. What does boldness mean The lobby looked very fancy well, as fancy as though? a broken down old hotel can be. The lobby Boldness is . . . doing something you was very dusty and spider webs were are afraid of but you know you are going to be

28 safe. Boldness standing up for yourself, and cut a wire and we were going to crash, but for others. If you are bold you will have a lot then we were caught. My heart was pounding. of guts and stand out of the crowd. When you When we reached the end of the ride are bold you aren’t afraid to try new things, everyone clapped. After the ride I was and you have a lot of confidence and self starving and my tummy was growling. “Can esteem. When you are bold you are the we get some lunch?” I asked. opposite of being timid; you like to speak When we stepped into the tavern for your mind, and want to be heard and listened lunch it was detailed. They had booths, to. I wanted to be that person! I wanted to be waitresses, a wooden front desk, many lights, bold! Then I stepped onto the elevator, and people with buzzers in their hands, and buckled up on a blue plastic chair in the people talking. As soon as I sat down in the front. booth I started babbling about the ride. The doorman said, “Keep your arms “That was awesome! I loved that. I want to and legs in the ride at all times. Good luck bring Mom on the ride next time,” I said. and I hope you survive.” His voice was very “And I think that from now on I will explore scary. I swelled up with excitement and fear new things and new topics. I’m glad that you as the ride started to move. When we went talked me into going on the ride. That was a around the corner and merged into the great experience.” darkness there were holograms of ghosts of “What was your favorite part?” my the people that we saw in the movie from the dad asked. library area. Next we went up onto another “I liked the view of what we could see floor and we went through the floor and saw from the top, what about you?” more holograms of ghosts. “I really liked the ghosts and when we One of the ghosts said, “Good luck,” dropped really fast—the initial drop,” he said. in a wobbly tone. Then the waitress came over. Another ghost said, “Turn back now, “Can I get you a drink?” you might not survive!” We went up three or “Ginger ale please,” I said. four more floors. I think that we were on the “Lemonade, please,” Dad said. tenth floor; this was my favorite floor because “Is pink lemonade okay?” she asked. it had a fog machine. We climbed the last “Thank you,” I said. three stories and the view was unbelievable! “No problem,” said the waitress as she We could see the entire park! Restaurants, turned and left to get our drinks. shops, roller coasters, the Muppet Theater, “So, was it worth getting all upset and the magical hat with Mickey ears on it. I about?” my dad asked. was amazed by everything you could see. All “Yes, because I never went on a ride of the people looked like ants. Then we that dropped thirteen stories straight down. dropped! My heart went into my throat. The It was scary the first time because I didn’t drop was scary, just like someone had simply

29 know what to expect, but if I went on it again When Dad and I left the restaurant, I told I wouldn’t be as scared as I was.” my mom everything about it, and that she The waitress returned. “Here are your should try it with me sometime. I told her drinks, ginger ale and lemonade. Can I get about the ghosts, the drop, the view, and the you anything else?” never-ending line. After I told her about the “Yes. May I have a cheeseburger, done ride I went on my iPad and looked up the medium?” Dad asked. Tower of Terror and showed my Mom a video “And what would you like?” of the ride. When the video ended, she “I would like a cheeseburger too looked up at my Dad and said, please,” I said. “Are you crazy? You let her go on that?” “How would you like it cooked?” We all laughed and I think she was “Medium,” I replied scared to go on it with me because it would “Are french fries okay with that?” be her first time. I was scared too, the first “That’s fine thank you.” time I went on the Tower of Terror.

Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

30 Unwavering Miranda Boyd & Vika Kessler

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I’m not changing my mind. I may not be fun but I tell the truth and my bestie is my mom.

I’m not changing my mind I won’t go swimming with sharks but I will go to the meeting and I will tell them what I think about sharks.

I’m not going to change my mind I won’t invite audacious people to my party. But then again no one will come anyway because I’m not fun.

I’m not changing my mind I don’t say YOLO but if someone is going to be mean to me I’m not afraid to judge them.

31 A Boring Adventure Connor Ryan & Louis Preston

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Dear NASA, I’ve been in space for one day and I already hate it. I hate zero gravity because holding on to things is such a struggle. When I was brushing my teeth my toothpaste flew everywhere creating a giant mess. To make it worse, when I did my first moon walk, my toothbrush fell out and I got moon dust all over it. Walking on the moon was also a struggle. It is extremely boring. All I can see are rocks and blackness. My suit is cold and heavy. I feel like I tripped every step. Whoever designed this suit was a complete idiot because I can’t raise my arms above my head and whenever I breathe my helmet fogs up and when I fart it’s like a Dutch oven. Buzz is a baby. He is not eating any of the food, and complains more than a teenager in the morning. The ship is tiny and all I do is bang into walls. I can never tell when it’s day or night because it’s always black and I’ve been awake for twenty-eight hours! Artwork by Ben Harres And don’t even get me started on the sleeping. I will go to sleep and then wake up in kitchen. Take off was anything but smooth. During the countdown, all I thought was What have I gotten myself into? It felt like someone was sitting on me. I’m sure you guys were laughing hysterically at my rippling face. You may think of me as a hero but I think of myself as a prisoner doing community service. Overall this was just a waste of time I’ll never get back. —Neil Armstrong

32 Mirror Story Erica Luo

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Ever since she was little, Cara had “Cara, let’s go!” her mom called from been obsessed with mirrors. Her parents told downstairs, pulling her out of her memory. her that as a baby she would crawl over to “You’re going to miss the bus!” anything reflective, and coo at her reflection Cara grumbled and ran down the happily. Most of her schoolwork was based on stairs, grabbing her backpack along the way. mirrors, or the idea of looking at a reflection. “Bye mom,” she said and rushed out the door. She didn’t know what it was about mirrors. To For the whole day, the only thing Cara her they seemed like a way to see into thought about was her second-grade self another dimension. If your reflection is staring into the mirror. I should try it again flipped, maybe it isn’t even the same person when I get home. Maybe it’ll actually be fun. staring back at you. At least, that was Cara’s During math she started day- theory. dreaming. Usually the images revolved around One day she was reading an old her and something involving food, (lunch was journal entry from 2nd grade. in twenty minutes), but this time she was Yesterday I looked at myself in the folding standing in the bathroom, holding her tooth mirror in the bathroom. Then I pulled on the doors and wiping blood off of her chin. She sprinted and stuck my head between them.. It looked like it out and called for her mom. Footsteps came was reflecting forever and ever and ever and ever, pounding up the stairs. which was SO COOL! “Mommy, mommy! Look my—” Reflecting (not reflecting), Cara What? The person standing in front of Cara thought... wasn’t her mom. It was an older girl with I wanted to keep looking, but then my mom dark, wavy hair gaping in shock. It was yelled at me to hurry up. That scared me and I herself . . . just older. “M-mom?” The girl slipped and fell and hit my chin on the bathroom opened her mouth to say something. counter which made my tooth fall out! It was my “Cara, would you like to tell us what 8th tooth that I had lost. you got for problem seven?” She blinked, and She laughed a little at her seven-year- then she was back in math. She looked down old self. Of course she used mirrors as a way at her paper. to talk about her tooth. Cara remembered “Um, number seven? I got seventy that day, running out of the bathroom crying four I think...” and laughing at the same time, and telling her _____ mom about her tooth and the never-ending When Cara got home she went to the reflections. bathroom and opened the the sliding cabinet

33 doors. As she adjusted the angle of the bathroom to see who was calling. As she mirrors, she thought about her daydream in stepped away from the mirror it caught one math. You’re probably just thinking about it too of the last rays of sunlight. The light bounced much, she told herself, but she couldn’t shake off of the mirror and hit Cara in the eye. It the weird feeling it gave her. was blinding. She looked into the mirror. Her face “Ow!” she cried out, and hit reflected into infinity, and it seemed like Cara something hard. Losing her balance, she was standing in a hallway going on forever. flailed her arms around, she opened her eyes. She tried to see how far it went, but the weird She was about to hit the mirror. tingles intensified, and she began to feel Bracing for the impact, Cara threw nauseous. She knew that if she kept looking her hands out. Instead of hitting the hard she would get sick. Cara began to shut the glass, they passed through a silky barrier. cabinet doors. Just as she backed her head out Something tugged at her body and it sucked the space between the mirrors, one of the the rest of her through the wall. Cara opened reflections shifted its head. Cara paused. I her eyes to see colorful blobs winding past didn’t move my head like that... did I? She her in a tunnel. They shattered and combined looked carefully at the reflection. Nothing like water droplets of water hitting the weird happened. Just a bunch of mirror ground. Soon the blobs began to form blurry images squinting. Sighing, Cara began to close shapes. Some of them resembled people, but the door again. Suddenly, the same reflection as soon as they formed, they were blown moved its head again and winked at her. apart. Voices and sounds rang through the That didn’t just happen. No. It isn’t tunnel. They mixed together to form one possible. pulsing, ringing beat. The tugging sensation Cara stumbled back to her room and began to fade away, and Cara floated down. sat down. She tried to start her homework, Was it down? Or was it up? She couldn’t tell. but her mind kept going back to the previous The blobs melded together to form a solid events. Finally she was able to force herself to surface. Her feet touched the ground, and the focus on the science worksheet. As soon as tunnel around her materialized into a hallway, she finished, she sprinted to the bathroom covered with mirrors that went on forever. and opened the mirror again. Cara expected Cara looked around. There wasn’t to see something completely different, but it anyone in the hall, but she could hear faint was exactly the same as the first time. Rows murmurs. As she came closer to one of the of her reflection going on and on. She felt a mirrors, the murmurs grew louder. She twinge of disappointment and relief at the backed away and the noise faded. same time. I was just imagining it, she told “Hello.” herself. The voice came from behind her. She In the background she could hear her turned around and saw a girl who looked phone ringing. Cara started to leave the familiar.

34 “Wh-who are you?” Cara asked. They’re kind of like “supreme rulers” who “I’m you,” the girl answered with a don’t actually rule. They go in and out of each smirk. “Except not really. I’m from another world to make sure they’re functioning world. Universe. The reflection you saw in the correctly, and to make sure nobody knows mirror is what this hallway is.” about the other worlds and the portals. If “Okay. How can I get back?” Cara anyone escapes, they get sent to those guys. said, not really meaning her question. Her I’m ninety-percent sure they don’t have alter ego girl laughed. feelings and no one can—” “Oh! You don’t want to go back there. Cara interrupted. “Wait. You said no The other places are much better. Come on! one knew about the portals and no one can By the way, you can call me Jessamine.” get in or out. What about me? What about Jessamine . . . I always liked that name you?” Jessamine’s laughed darkly. To Cara, she Cara thought. Jessamine seemed nice, but didn’t seem so welcoming anymore. there was something strange about her too. “Well. I guess you could say you’ve “So. Where do you want to go?” been ‘chosen.’ It’s not a big deal. Let’s go visit Jessamine asked brightly. “We can go to mine, some different worlds first. except I’d rather not. Or we could go to the _____ place where the Nazi’s won WWII—I’ve The first world they went to was never been there. We could also go to that underwater. The second was a wasteland, weird place where everyone is in love with where the people born on Friday the some guy who doesn’t actually exist, or that thirteenth turned into zombies and killed the place where one of your egos rules the world, whole population, and then turned on or . . . .” themselves. The trip there was cut short Cara zoned out as they walked down when they accidentally walked into a zombie the mirrored hallway. Every so often, hideout. By the fifth world Cara was someone would materialize out of a mirror beginning to feel fuzzy. It was kind of a sleepy and walk into another. feeling, but her body felt like it was smudging “Who are they?” Cara asked. at the edges. I’m hungry. I want pizza. Can we go “. . . live on the moon—what?” home now? the little voice in her mind said. I’m Jessamine paused in her speech. “Could you huungryyyyyyy. I want fooood. repeat that?” “Jessamine?” Cara said. “Uh- um, wh-who are the people that “Yeah?” are coming out of the mirrors?” Cara “Can I go back home now? I think it’s suddenly felt uncomfortable under time for me to have—” What was it called? Jessamine’s curious stare. Breakfast? No. That’s in the morning. What’s it Cara’s look-a-like paused for a second. called? I think it starts with an S. Su- si- sip- “Oh. Them. Those people come from their suh . . . . Cara began to panic. Why couldn’t own world. It isn’t really like the others. she remember what it was called? In her

35 mind, she could see herself sitting at a table “I love how hopeful you are, Cara. I with her family. Who was that boy sitting love how you think I’m going to help you.” next to her? Your brother. She looked at Cara was confused. What was Jessamine Jessamine, who was getting impatient. Su- sid- talking about? was it a d? D, dog, dip— “You—you’re going to help me, “What is it time for you to have?” right?” Jessamine asked. “We don’t have all day.” Jessamine grinned. “You’re hilarious. Dig, din- din… dinner! Cara almost No, I’m not going to help you. You’re going to high-fived Jessamine. “Dinner! I have to have help me!” dinner. My mom’s probably looking for me.” Cara sputtered in shock. Her new Jessamine started to roll her eyes, but then friend started to spin and morph. Her clothes plastered a cheerful smile on her face. melded into a blur. Then they reformed into a “Okay! Follow me! I’ll show you back crisp gray uniform. The pocket on the chest to your mirror.” was emblazoned with the words “Multiverse ______Regulation.” It was the same uniform that the “Are you sure you want to go?” supreme ruler people Jessamine had told her Jessamine stopped at the mirror and turned about were wearing. Ugly purple marks to face Cara. She crossed her arms. “I mean, covered her neck and dark circles appeared you might not be able to get back through. under her eyes. Her hair became short and Cara grinned. “I’m starving. I’m sure I choppy. want to go. I mean, if I got through, I can “What the heck is going on!? What are definitely go back. Thanks for showing me you doing?” around though!” She stepped towards the Jessamine just grinned. “I’ve been mirror. “Bye!” She stuck her hand towards the trying to get out of here for years. When I mirror and her finger touched the glass. She saw you, I knew you would be the perfect waited for the sucking feeling. Nothing victim. The mirror is your weakness.” happened. She poked the mirror. It was solid. “So… do you work for them or “What’s happening? Why can’t I go through?” something?” Cara squeaked. “Does that mean Cara kicked the mirror and winced in pain. “I you can get me back?” need to go back home! I want to see my “I wouldn’t say that I work for them,” family.” Jessamine spat bitterly. “They run tests on Jessamine gently pulled her away from me. They use me to see what would happen if the mirror. “I said you might not be able to anyone did breach the barriers and escape get through.” She stepped towards the portal. their world. That’s where I got these.” She “But I didn’t say I couldn’t.” pointed to the purple marks on her neck. “So. “Oh!” Cara was relieved. “So you’re Since you came here, I’m going out. Now gonna bring me through!” you’re going to stay. Goodbye my friend.”

36 Jessamine waved mockingly and stepped Jessamine’s face appeared. “Have fun Cara.” towards the portal. The world spun and people Cara dove towards Jessamine. “You surrounded Cara. They grabbed her arms little—” She grabbed at her arm but the fabric roughly. “Where have you been? You thought slipped through her fingers, it was too late, you could run?” they said. Then everything Jessamine was gone. Cara pounded on the went black. Jessamine was gone forever. Cara mirror but it was completely solid. Suddenly, was never going home. her clothing started to change. The colors seeped out and flooded through the mirror. It turned to the grey of the uniform.

Artwork by Ryanne Kim

37 I Become the Noises in My Head Charlotte Penn

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What has made me who I am?

As she stared at the door, she heard the TV, and her little brother screaming, the door opening and closing. Her mom was cooking lunch, and of all the normal things she heard, she wondered, What should I feel? Wonder? Pity? Love? Dread? Or should she just let the noises pass by her like a cloud? Should she focus on the door and think about what was happening behind the door, or stay where she was isolated? She wondered, hoping to get beyond that door and open her mind. But something was blocking her. Maybe.

It was the noise distracting her. She focused on the noise again, the click clack of her pen, the squeaking of the ceiling above, the swooshing sound of the wind, and wondered, what should I feel? She focused on how her family made her feel, and what they had done for her, and the opportunities they had opened.

38 Endurance Helen Peppler & Lily Connors

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Endurance is striving to fulfill your dreams although they may seem to be out of reach. Endurance is not giving up but you’re only as strong as your weakest link. Endurance is sucking it up When your goal is just around the corner. Endurance is surviving because everyone deserves a chance at a healthy life. Endurance is persevering but you always need to be aware of your limits. Endurance is helping others who can’t help themselves Because the struggle isn’t always as obvious as it seems.

39 Waking Up Kate Riccio

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I honestly don’t even care. enough, and it goes back and forth for a I mean, Aunt Mary Claire was family while, until she hits me with the hairy eyeball. and all, and I loved her and stuff, but should I Or as I personally call it, the evil-witch- really be going to a funeral for someone I met mother--death-eye. But behind it I swore I literally two times in my entire life? Her close saw her blink and flash a pained look of relatives, sure, but why me? I hardly think I weakness. But I must have just imagined it, would be getting choked up at some event to because in an instant it is replaced by the honor a person whose name I couldn’t even same old condescending mom gaze. remember. “Kate, I hope you behave today,” she “Now, it’s an open casket, so I just says coldly want to let you know it might be scary,” my Sheesh. All I did was turn the radio mother warns, glancing at me in the rearview on. I swear, she treats me like I don’t know mirror. Her eyes looked funny. Distant, anything. I’m thirteen now, not a kid almost. anymore. I don’t think there’s anything left I smooth the creases of my black velvet skirt she can teach me. We drive up to the window. down and lean back, resting my feet on the “Hot cocoa, please,” I say. windshield and lowering my seat back until “Me too!” Nick pipes up from the my brother yells that his legs are squished. back seat. I turn around to glance at him. Scared? Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m He’s trying to tighten his tie. You see, Mom’s not as tough as steel. You can make me cry not worried about him. And frankly, she pretty easily. Give me a paper cut. Call me a should be. As we drive away, my mother name. I’m not tissue paper, but I’m certainly places her hand on top of mine. I pull away. not rock. But scared? Not really. Except for What is with her today? horror movies. But those don’t count. I mean, “Sweetie, don’t be afraid.” they try to scare people. I guess what I’m I roll my eyes. I’ve been to one of trying to say is, I highly doubt praying to a these things, back in third grade, but I don’t dead body will scare me. Growing up with really remember. It was for my grandfather. three brothers has taught me a thing or two. Clearly, she remembers. Don’t ask. “Mom, just get off my back, okay?” My mother pulls into Dunkin Donuts She narrowed her eyes. and shuts off the radio. It was my favorite “Kate, don’t use that tone with me. This kind song. I turn it back on. She turns it off. Fine, I of event doesn’t happen every day for you, I think. I could play this game all day. And sure know it’s not something that you’re used to.”

40 She tries to tousle my hair, but I duck out of Kate. Wake up. Forget it... But she’s right her reach. there. You see here, she’s okay. Wake up, please. “That’s the problem! You’re always You didn’t deserve to die. It’s unfair. Think of taking care of me like I’m some baby! What all the terrorists in the world. The terrible kind of person does that?” people. What about them? Why do bad “A mother, Kate.” things happen to good people? I used to think I glare at her and mutter, “Whatever.” life was an equation. You’re a good person, No one says a word for the rest of the car good things happen to you. Turns out, it’s ride. more like algebra. Letters and numbers and parentheses and exponents and symbols. You The funeral home is empty when we can’t predict it. You can’t control it. arrive early. Mom offers to hold my hand. I’m sorry your aunt passed away . . . What does she think I am, a baby? Colorful, large I ignore them and kneel down in flower arrangements frame the coffin, and front of her. I am scared. My mom was right. walls are lined with photos, like scrapbook I’m scared. But, of what? She can’t hurt me. pages. Aunt Mary Claire lays there, She’s lifeless. But I’m cautious. I don’t want motionless and visible. Old-fashioned, to get too close. She has to be just sleeping, upholstered couches with embroidered seat right? She’s going to wake up, right? Right? cushions sit in corners waiting, and rows and Wrong. rows of flat fold-up chairs fill the room. The “Are you alright?” My mom asks. air is thick, and warm inside the room. Red I pretend I am and nod, but all I can velvet carpet paints the floor, while dusty, dull hear is the same words over and over in my furniture crowds the room. I now take my head. mother’s hand. I notice her palm is sweaty, I’m sorry your aunt passed away . . . too. I squeeze it harder. Maybe it’s okay to be Are you? Are you really? What do a baby sometimes. they know? The room is empty, or at least We sit and wait in silence. feels that way. Some people come, they leave. One by one, more solemn faces arrive I don’t notice. If they talk to me, I don’t wearing traditional black clothing and praying listen. Maybe I pray. I don’t remember. silently. It feels weird to be in the same room Everything is a blur. as a dead person. I didn’t think it would, but “Kate? You look funny,” my brother it does. Then people start talking to me. I said, waving his hand in front of my face. want to tell them to shut up. That it’s none of “Kate? Hello!” their business. I’m sorry your aunt passed away . . . “I’m sorry your aunt passed away…” What? I don’t understand. She has to Passed away. I hate that term. If they be alive. Or I’ll, or I’ll… were sorry, they wouldn’t mention it at all. Stamp it out, don’t think about it. She’s dead,

41 I’m sorry your aunt passed away . . . Somebody hands me a program. I can’t even She did, didn’t she? I don’t look without bursting into tears. understand. “You okay?” My mom asks gently. As I stare at her pale, pleasant face, I shy away from her so she doesn’t see memory bubbles burst into me like sink water me cry. I look around. As I examine the into a drain. I no longer see Aunt Mary church room, the mood is dark. Relatives Claire. I see my grandpa. His thin wide greet each other and hug, squishing their creased lips, his words were often bittersweet faces into each other’s shoulders. Women fix wisecracks. His pale, thin bone structure and their makeup, particularly around their eyes, clothing dotted with cigar holes. Even his so mascara doesn’t drip down their cheeks. outdated thick-rimmed black glasses, that They kneel down and pray. They cry and people were always telling him were out of bawl, sob and sniff. Confused children style, but he wore them anyway. What is wonder what is going on. Their mothers don’t happening? I feel powerless. I feel scared. have the heart to tell them. I study my Small. But no words can describe the pain mother trying to pull herself together. She stabbing in my gut like a knife. My throat is struggles attempting to do so. choked. My mom pokes my shoulder. They pay their respects and recite the “Honey, you’re only supposed to pray rosary. I hear murmurs and mumbles in the for a minute,” she says. “You can stop depressed crowd. kneeling now.” “It’s time to pay your respects,” my Limos take the coffin to the church. mom whispers to me. She likes to protect me. Lucky us, we ride in a bumper-stickered I don’t have the heart to tell her that her eye minivan with french fries shoved down the shadow is smudged. She actually put too back seats, and an old bubble-gum smell. I much on. I look closer. Her eyes are red and almost forget about the reason when we pass blotchy. the cute shops and checkerboard streets. I “Do I have something on my face?” remember when we pull up in front of the She asks, her eyes widening in concern. chapel. The church is big. Huge. Stained glass “No.” windows frame its aisles like a frame around a We walk down the aisle. It seems to photo. There are rows and rows and rows of be never-ending. I stay close to my mom. She pews. Too much black clothing to count. is my barrier from danger. My wall. Even Family members, relatives. Some familiar though now, she doesn’t seem so strong. I faces, some unknown ones. Some mysterious don’t really know what I am afraid of. The ones. The podium is occupied by a solemn whole thing is eating me up inside. I want to priest. A slick, glossy, black Grand piano know the answers. You ask the questions, you stands over to the left. Bibles take up the get the answers. Nobody is telling me the back of every pew in the echoing room. answer. I hate not knowing something, but knowing you don’t know it and somebody else

42 does. It’s like not knowing a secret your I knew all along I needed to let things go. I friends are whispering to each other, but guess it’s just a matter of discovering that part won’t tell you. It bugs you and gets under your of me was there. And you could be the nicest, skin because everybody is acting like jerks sweetest person on the planet, but you WILL until you can’t take it anymore. go through rough times and bumps in the Why? Inside Kate is screaming. road. It’s what makes us human. Pounding on walls, kicking, throwing I take a deep breath… everything in her reach. and stand up. Outside Kate’s fists are clenched. The flowers are already there when My mother goes first. She sits down we get to the cemetery. Multiple petals flare and prays, then kisses Aunt Mary Claire’s the colors of the rainbow. Blooming and coffin, and leaves. I see her leave the room beautiful. A tall man offers me a rose. He is fast, speed-walking and trying to clean up the wearing black from head to toe, a common bags under her eyes. She must not want and appropriate color for the occasion. He is anyone to see her like this. I know I never also wearing a black bowler’s hat. It hangs have. over his forehead. The top half of his face is No! Don’t leave me! I’m alone! Inside darkened by the shadow. Kate yelps. My mom doesn’t listen. I am hesitant to take this gift. I am Awkwardly, I kneel down and pray. still hesitant to anything at this point. I could Usually these prayers include world peace. be pushed over by a paper clip. But my Hunger and animals going extinct and forest mother nudges me, and I reluctantly accept fires and money and shelter. In books, the rose. My fingers trace over the forest teenage girl prayers usually go something like: green stem. I feel the delicate petals, the pink “Dear Lord, thank you for getting me invited spiral adjusting to every touch, swaying in the to this party on Friday. Please help me get a breeze. good grade on this test. Oh, and why am I too I’m sorry your aunt passed away . . . short or too tall, or too skinny or too fat, or That’s what he says to me. This rose is too plain or too bold?” a time machine. It is part of me. It becomes Right now, those prayers seem stupid part of me from the moment I touch it. Hold and selfish. Right now, I’m not praying for it. Feel it. It had grown in me, like its any of those things. I’m not even praying for blossoms on a maple tree in the midst of me. I realize as I am praying for Aunt Mary spring, then closes after the summer. I don't Claire, that no matter how much I plead and think summer is ever going to come. Am I cry, nothing is going to change. Nothing is ever going to snap out of it? EVER going to change. I can cry and yell all I It am going to be okay. I might not want, no one is going to listen. It is now clear know it now, but it will get better. I promise to me I can’t control everything. Some things myself. cannot be fixed. Somewhere deep inside me,

43 The rose is young. Fresh. Hopeful. The start of a new beginning. It has many pages to turn. And even though I don’t realize it until today, I guess I do too.

Artwork by Lilu Shaughnessy

44 Dumplings and Biscuits Addy Gordon

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“Hey Addy,” my mom called from our Next to our table was a silver screen, covered kitchen. “Dad and I are going to Mikado, and with painted pink flowers. I thought the then Crosby’s for ribs. Watch your sisters, screen was beautiful, but it blocked my view please.” of the grassy park. “Sure,” I replied quickly, eager to get Soon we discovered, as our drinks back to my sixth-grade homework. The back arrived, that Myers+Chang was not your door slammed, leaving a lingering echo average Chinese restaurant. One was throughout the house. Mikado, ribs, I thought cucumber lemonade, and the other was unhappily. It’s not like I hate Chinese food or raspberry ginger soda. Both had funky, barbeque. I don’t. But in my life of twelve twisted straws, matching the inside years I have experienced truly amazing restaurant’s atmosphere, with cool leather Chinese dishes and ribs, so good that nothing spinning bar seats. can compare. Since it was the afternoon, our menu I think back to my first time eating at was dim sum, which I learned was when Myers + Chang, an authentic Chinese people share many small and delicious dishes. restaurant in Boston’s South End. The sun Among the choices were brown rice with shown in the sky, so high that there were baby bok choy and fried eggs. Mom asked, barely any shadows on the cement patio “So, what would everyone like to eat?” I could where the hostess seated us. My sisters and I tell by the way she was smiling broadly that wore shorts and T-shirts from museum visits she expected this to be difficult. and soccer camp, although Sinclair, who had “Kids, you can order from the child worn a grey tank top with a white star on the menu or the adult menu. It doesn’t really front, was complaining, “I’m cold!” matter,” my dad told us. He seemed happy A table for five was empty, with too, using a real smile. chopsticks and blue flowered bowls already “I don’t know what I want!” Sinclair set out.Well, so far it seems clean, I thought whined. to myself. I sat down in the chair at the metal Ughhh, I thought, here we go. Major table’s head, facing the sky. I squinted my meltdown coming up. Seeing udon noodles on eyes, causing my mom to ask, “Do you want the menu, I decide to ask,“What are udon to switch places with me?” noodles?” “Nah, I’ll stick it out,” I replied, Mathilde also liked noodles, so she feeling noble and brave, but wishing I had asked, “Can I get peanut noodles with accepted. dumplings?”

45 “Yes, Mathilde. Addy, I think they are Thinking back to that meal, I remember how just plain noodles. Sinclair, how about the I devoured it. First, the udon noodles. chicken wings?” Mom asked of all her Slightly peppery, they were thick, tasty, children. amazing. The dumplings had just the right “But it does not seem gooooood!” ratio of dough to pork, fried in oil for a Sinclair’s face scrunched up like she was yummy combination. Thirdly, the bok choy about to cry. was a wonderfully seasoned vegetable over “Honey, just try it. You may like it.” perfectly cooked sushi rice. All the food was By now Dad seemed exasperated by Sinclair’s awesome from the noodles to rice. way of acting. He kept sighing and placing his Throughout the meal, I kept thinking, I never face in his hands. want to leave. Since my first very successful Calming down, Sinclair asked, “Also, visit to Myers+Chang’s, I have gone back can I have rice?” several times, but I will always hold this visit Internally, I was screaming, Fine, just in my heart. stay quiet and don’t embarrass me! Hopefully Still thinking back to that awesome helping with that, I told Sinclair, “I’m afternoon at the restaurant, I sigh. Takeout planning to have baby bok choy over white from Mikado will pale in comparison. rice. Maybe you want some of that?” I “We’re home,” my mom called. “Come set the plastered a smile on my face as fake as plastic. table!” My sisters and I thundered downstairs, Too bad for me, her reaction was not what I starving. Immediately Mathilde and I started wanted. to lay out the napkins. “I don’t wanna share, Addy! Get your “I have to go to the bathroom,” own!” Sinclair half-screamed at me. Sinclair cried, fleeing her duty. I rolled my “Fine, fine. Mom, I’ll share some eyes at Mathilde. Sinclair never helps, so it’s dumplings with Mathilde. That’s okay, right?” easier not to try to stop her, lest she have a I asked Mom. fit. Well, she’s only eight. At the dinner table, She considered, wrinkling her brow I looked around at my parents and one sister, and thinking. “That’s fine, Addy. Are we ready Mathilde. Dad started dishing out the orange to order?” chicken and General Tso’s chicken onto clean Everyone in our family shouted, white plates. Then, he carefully poured soy “YES!” sauce on everyone’s rice, trying not to add too As if on a casual after-thought, much, not like that would help. Mathilde asked, “We are still going to get Mom alternated between drinking cupcakes after, correct?” sips of water and saying loudly, “Sinclair, come In total, I decided to order baby bok to dinner now!” choy over white rice, udon noodles, and pork Mathilde, a fifth grader, still tries to dumplings. Being really hungry, I could hardly complain about Sinclair’s work ethic, “Sooo wait for the food to arrive.

46 unfair!” But once Dad served her miso soup, players’ abilities. Waiters and waitresses were Mathilde slurped it right away. bustling around, holding large black trays Sinclair stormed into the kitchen, filled with an intriguing smelling barbeque. late, and shoveled fake reddish-orange The heat from the outside June air mixed breaded chicken in her pouty mouth. with kitchen heat to create a pleasant Stubbornly, she resisted a napkin. temperature, though for some reason I got I stared at my plate. Gross, I thought. really cold, and had to put on a jacket. Sitting They looked like steamy lumps of dough, in my seat facing a large, wide window, the with barely any meat. They tasted okay, but leather chair was comfortable and slightly settled in my stomach heavily after one or cool, while the thick paper menu was very two. Next, the orange chicken. It glowed a rigid and stiff in comparison. surreal color, definitely not from the orange Dad kept repeating, “The game will fruit. The chicken had so much breading and be so much fun,” but his voice blended with a sauce, too much, plus it was crunchy in a way high pitched baby’s scream from the table that made me imagine I was chewing a over, and the grill’s sizzle, first startling me. I grasshopper. No more, please. Second to had thought the crackle of coals was an out of dumplings, I love rice, occasionally eating it control fire, not a grill. I drank lemonade, for breakfast, even. Except, I prefer sushi which smelled lemony and tasted tangy. The rice, white or brown. This Mikado rice was a cool glass was a little wet from condensation. grain’s worst nightmare, overcooked and Outside the window people rushed by, in a served with super-fake tasting soy sauce. I hurry to get to the game, but I was relaxed, knew that all this food would have seemed eating a warm, buttery biscuit spread with tastier if I hadn’t experienced food from delicious apple butter. On the walls, old-time Myers+Chang. Sadly, I now had lost my singers like Patsy Cline watched over Sweet appetite. Why was Myer+Chang’s soooo Cheeks, a truly sweet barbecue place. much better? I wondered about why food from Afterward, in my room, I tried to Myers+Chang, and so far, Sweet Cheeks, tackle my English homework. Pronouns and tasted so much better than Mikado and verbs! Impossible! Soon Dad called me Crosby’s food. Then, it hit me! The whole downstairs, again, but this time for saucy ribs. uniqueness of Myers+Chang is different from I had never liked ribs, until I went with my Mikado. Uniqueness is only having one of dad to a fabulous barbeque place in Boston something and that something is different called Sweet Cheeks, near Fenway stadium. from everything else. Each and every human We were headed to a Red Sox game after we being is unique, as no one is the exact same in had eaten. the whole world. Even identical twins will That day, when I walked in with Dad, have different personalities. The uniqueness I first saw baseball players and heard the of something will add to it’s appeal, as it did announcers commentating on stats and for me with Myers+Chang. Myers + Chang’s

47 unique setting behind a slightly battered- The macaroni and cheese was also a delicacy, down bus stop is just so different from from served in a plain navy mini pot, and still hot. I most restaurants. Also, in all of Boston, Myers felt the warm cheesy-ness go down my throat. + Chang is original, not serving and looking The cheese and pasta both were cooked well, like so many other generic restaurants, but with bread crumbs and bacon on top. appearing super creative with painted pink Finally, the salad. Slices of grapes flowered tree mirrors and splatter paint on mixed with artichoke and capers, and of bathroom doors. From a delicious biscuit to course spinach and lettuce completed our using mason jars as glasses, Sweet Cheeks is salad course, and wonderful dinner-memory. definitely like Myers + Chang in the fact that Remembering a tasty meal for the second it stands alone, unlike any other place to eat. time in that day, I sighed. But now, I thought Remembering again, a great meal, where my that I will try those (ughh!) ribs, and hope dad and I shared a tray of barbecued ribs, mac that this time Sinclair will use a napkin. n’ cheese, and grape-caper salad. Those ribs were the best I have ever tasted! Perfectly sauced, with plenty of meat on the bone. How could I have hated barbeque before?

Artwork by Amanda Full

48 Art by Alistair Ong

49 Two Hundredths of a Second Erica Luo

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“Erica, your seed times are up on beat her!” That got my attention. I sat up and meet mobile!” examined the times carefully. “Really?” I said. I ran upstairs and Emma Wright 1:21.92 found my mom sitting in my room, scrolling Erica Luo 1:21.93 around on her phone. As usual, she had taken There is no way that’s possible, I thought to my spot on the couch by the window. myself. This wasn’t the first time her time had “Can I see? Can I see?” I asked, been that much faster than mine. “Agh! It’s not bouncing around in excitement. I loved fair! How did that even happen? It’s just like looking at my times beforehand. It made me Regionals when I was ten!” feel more confident before my meets. My My mom laughed at me. “You know mom told me to use my own phone. As I the only reason you made Age Groups was turned it on, she squinted at the screen. because you wanted to beat her so badly. You “You’re swimming the 100 fly, the 50 should thank her,” she responded. I rolled my back, and the 100 breast.” eyes at my mom. She could be so weird “Ooh I like those events,” I said. sometimes. I was just about to leave when my “Sure. I’ll totally go up to her and say, mom said, “I think you’re racing Emma ‘Thanks for beating me all the time! I really Wright in the 100 breaststroke again.” I wanted to win against you, and that’s why I thudded down onto the wooden floor. Ever made it to Age Groups!’ She’ll think I’m since I was 10, I had raced Emma multiple crazy! Wait. I wonder if she knows who I times in the same exact race. It felt like am?” someone or something was trying to get us to My mom stood up to leave and said, race each other. At this point, it wasn’t a “You can win this time.” coincidence. “Yeah, right mom. If this is like the “Again?” I groaned. “This is like the other times, she’s gonna win.” twentieth time!” She frowned at that. “If you want to “I know, but don’t you look forward beat her, you can. What happened to all of to racing her?” My mom asked. your motivation?” “Yeah, but still . . .” I complained and As she left, I thought about my first flopped around on my floral carpet. 100 breaststroke against Emma. I thought “Look at this.” My mom handed me about how it all started on the pool deck of her phone, “Do you see your times? She’s .01 the Sterling YMCA during the 50 breast. seconds faster than you. You have a chance to

50 I was standing behind the blocks, “I swear I beat her!” I complained to my getting ready to race the 50. The pool was so friend Elsa. “I saw her out of the corner of my familiar to me. I took a deep breath of the eye! I was in front of her!” hot, muggy air and watched the seconds tick “What are you talking about?” She by on the scoreboard as coaches and parents asked. yelled in the background. Swimmers wearing “Didn’t you see that girl? Was it a tie? caps and goggles walked by, going around Didn’t I touch first?” puddles and smushed goldfish. I felt bad for “Oh. That. Don’t worry,” Elsa said, the people who had to clean up after us. The “I’m pretty sure I saw you touch before her smell of chlorine covered everything; from too. I think you won.” I wondered if she was the officials, to the heat sheets hanging on saying that to be nice. I looked at her face. the walls, and to the blocks in front of me. She seemed sincere. Flip flops and hairballs sat on the wet floor. “I don’t get it,” I whined while pacing The lane lines bobbed up and down as on the pool deck. “It’s not fair! I don’t swimmers raced each other up and down the deserve to be out-touched after a great swim!” pool. I bet I’m faster than them, I thought in a Why did stuff like this only happen to me? To my conceited way. I couldn’t wait to race. When I inexperienced ten-year-old self, it felt like I thought about the feeling of the water was getting punished for something I didn’t rushing past me, and the loud cheers of my do. friends, exhilaration coursed through my “You’ll beat her next time,” Elsa told body. me. “Are you racing her again?” I looked at One minute later my race was over. the heat sheet. The girl’s name was Emma When I had finished, I knew I had done well Wright. Emma Wright, I said in my mind, because I had sprinted all out and gotten my you’re going down. I knew the next time we best time. My legs felt numb and tingly raced, it would be me who touched before because I had kicked so hard, and it made it her. hard to walk. I looked up into the stands and The next day, I checked the 100 my mom gave me a thumbs up. Everything in breaststroke section on the heat sheet. Right my race had gone great.The only thing that above me in lane 4 was her name: Emma was bothering me was that I got third. I Wright. I ran as fast as the wet floor could wasn’t upset about not winning, I was upset allow me over to Elsa. because I been out-touched by someone I “I’m racing her in the 100 breast! thought I had beaten. Hey! A thought popped She’s seeded first and I’m seeded second! I into my head. Pro swimmers get out-touched too. have to win!” Now I can say something that happens to “Erica! You’re going to win,” Elsa Olympians happened to me! But then I saw my assured me. friends walking over and I snapped back to As I walked up behind the blocks, I reality. was a nervous ball of energy. I’m going to win.

51 I’m going to win, I repeated in my head. Don’t off. I was surprised they didn’t break. At first pace yourself. Go all out. My friends stood at I couldn’t see anything. The bubbly remnants the end of the pool and waved at me. of my wake splashed up and made my vision When I got up on the blocks I stared blurry. I blinked a couple of times and the at the bottom of the pool. It rippled flashing scoreboard came into focus. peacefully and I wondered about what I was First I checked my time. 1:30.79. I just doing. Why was I swimming again? Why dropped five seconds! That gave me a huge wasn’t I at home eating pizza? The humid air boost of confidence. I turned my head a little, was warm and it made me feel drowsy. hoping to see a big number 1 by my time. Watching the water lap up onto the sides of LANE 5: 2nd place the pool put me into a weird trance. Suddenly What. Even— the buzzer sounded and I dove into the water. I was supposed to win! Did I do The sudden temperature drop jolted me from something wrong? I looked over to lane four. my thoughts and woke me up. Erica! A voice Emma had won, but how much had she inside my head yelled at me. You’re supposed to beaten me by? be swimming breaststroke! Why aren’t you kicking?! LANE 4: 1:30.77 1st place I started sprinting as fast as I could. As I got I had been out-touched again. By less closer to the turn end, I could hear my than a tenth of a second. How close did the teammates screaming at me. “GO ERICA! finish look? I was speechless. I climbed out of KICK!” My legs were already burning. How the pool and staggered over to my coach. I was I supposed to finish the race? More couldn’t feel my legs. importantly, was I winning? What if I got “Erica! Nice job!” my friends and disqualified? coach congratulated me. At the final turn, all I could hear was “Uh huh. Mhm. Thanks,” I mumbled my heart beating in my ears. BOOM, under my breath. All I could think about was BOOM, BOOM, it went. I could tell my the fact that I had been out-touched again. friends were screaming like crazy; their voices How could that even happen two times in a blending into one loud hum. It was the final row? By two hundredths of a second? Seriously? heat after all. “Guess what!?” My coach beamed at I think Emma knew I was coming for me. “You made Age Groups! Your swim was her, because we were neck and neck the awesome! Dropping 5 seconds? Wow.” whole race. At the last five yards, I pushed “I- I what?” myself to swim even faster than the pace I “Age Groups! It’s a really fast meet.” was already going. I stretched my arms as far Age Groups. I tried to process everything as they could go, kicked until the muscles in that had happened in the last three minutes. I my legs felt like they were on fire and had been beaten by .02 seconds, and I’d punched the touchpad. As soon as I finished, qualified for Age Groups. It could’ve been a I lifted my head up and yanked my goggles surreal dream.

52 “Oh,” I murmured and went back “Stop being so pessimistic. If you towards my friends. made Age Groups, Emma did too, and you’ll “She beat me again!” I wailed to Elsa. probably race her again.” “I know,” she replied kindly, “But you “Oh right!” I exclaimed. “Then I’ll were great! It doesn’t really matter. You got race her and beat her! I’ll come out of second overall!” nowhere!” I then proceeded to make “Yes it does!” I snapped. “I can’t be awkward shark fin motions with my hands. out-touched twice! I bet she thinks she’s “See?” Elsa said. “I told you you’d have invincible now.” I imagined a stuck up girl another chance.” bragging about her times. Back then, I didn’t know that the 100 “Um, Erica, she doesn’t even know breaststroke would affect my swimming you,” said Elsa. experience forever. I didn’t realize that I had “I bet you’re saying that to make me only made Age Groups because I wanted to feel better.” I didn’t want any consolation beat Emma Wright so badly. I had always from my friends. known that competition made you faster, but Elsa sighed. “She’s only swam against I had never experienced it first hand like this. you twice, and she’s only beaten you twice. I That was when I realized that competition don’t think she would go around trying to was a huge factor of success. Sure, losing to figure out who she beat.” I considered that. Emma sucked, but at least I knew I was Doesn’t everyone check Meet Mobile obsessively? getting better as a swimmer. Why did I drop so Maybe when you win it doesn’t really matter who much time? I asked myself. It definitely wasn’t you beat, I thought bitterly. because you suddenly got way better in the middle of “But don’t you think she noticed that your race. I didn’t want to admit it but I knew she raced the same person, and won both Emma was the only reason I had gone so fast. times?” I wondered if I was the only one who She was the reason I felt like I had to prove looked up my opponent's times. myself. She was my competition and my “Probably not . . . ” my friend said motivation to swim faster at the same time. If slowly. she wasn’t there, I probably would’ve bobbed “Would you have noticed?” I asked. along happily, not caring all that much about “Maybe . . . ” she muttered, not winning. Looking back, the negative thoughts meeting my eyes. and frustration I had made me more “Exactly!” I cried triumphantly. competitive and motivated. Maybe losing that Elsa tried hurriedly to change the race was a good thing. Now I had a reason to subject. “Well that doesn’t matter. You made take a risk and swim my heart out the next AGE GROUPS!” time. “Barely,” I scoffed. At Age Groups, I raced Emma again. During the swim, I felt great. When I finished, I looked up, expecting to see that I

53 had won and beat my best time. Barren hills and leafless trees. I sank into the Unfortunately, neither was true. At first, it fuzzy car seats and sighed. Everything was didn’t register. But when I was changing in dark and colorless and cold. It seemed like the locker room, the black cloud of the world around me matched how I felt. disappointment settled in. These results You’ll get over it. Stop thinking about it. Use it continued for a while. Each time I raced tomorrow, and make yourself go faster. You’ve got to Emma Wright, she would win and I would get her at some point. I told myself I would beat add time. her. I could use my negative thoughts in I remember the car ride home from positive ways. Tomorrow, I had another Age Groups. I was so disappointed and chance to race her, and maybe win. everything seemed bleak and gray. Energetic Adrenaline rushed through me. I couldn’t and happy pop music pumped from the radio, wait. Just a couple of hours. You can do it. You can but all I heard was a muffled bass beat. The beat her. You can win. wintry Vermont landscape whizzed by. Gray “Emma Wright,” I said again, “You’re skies with wispy clouds. Dark, tall rock walls. going down.” Muddy slush and ice along the highway.

54 City in the Sky Xander Favazza

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PROLOGUE I have one boy named James, and one Peace. Kindness. Respect. That’s what girl named Elizabeth. My wife, Patricia, died the clouds have to hold. Hatred. Fighting. right after they were born. We have been Sadness. That’s what the underground offers. struggling for years now. The job that was My name is Wade. And I am an underground. assigned to me is called “gatherer.” I have to find anything that looks valuable and give it After the war on Juhkami the world to the government. But to find something lost many people. The population dropped that the government doesn't call valuable is dramatically. The people who won the war get impossible. Pens, letters, data chips, bottles, to live in Cloud. The rest live in the cans, trash; even rocks. The only way you can underground. The underground isn't so bad. I get information about the world before the mean at least we get some food. Some war is to be accepted to the Cloud….and that undergrounds get one piece of bread to last is impossible if your father was the president the whole day. But people in the Cloud get a during the war. free life style. They aren't told what to do, or My father kept a complete war journal what their job is. They have technology more that was left in the White Dome. The journal advanced than flying cars. But those who also kept information on something he was disobey the rules get thrown off. Literally. working on. I have tried to come up with The Cloud moves around all the time. The every theory for what happened before the only way to get up is by plane. Almost no one war, but nothing adds up. One page is always who survived the war has ever even seen a missing. It’s like having the last chapter of a plane. All of the books that had information novel ripped out. I think of everything that I on the war was burned for an unknown might do to help my family, but it’s reason. But some people kept the old books impossible. But there is one thing that I have locked away in what people call the White been planning for a long time now. It’s risky. Dome. Apparently it used to be where the It’s dangerous. But it’s just stupid enough to leader worked and lived. But it has been work. sinking into the ground due to the ice melting I’m going to get into the Cloud and in the North Pole. The place is guarded 24-7, I'm going to tell the truth to everyone about and if you get one glimpse at it… BLAM! what the world was before. What it was like They blast you to bits. But if you think all before the world fell apart. And what that’s bad, try raising a family. happened before the fall of humanity.

55 CHAPTER ONE went over and saw a handle at the side. I I woke up today with the sound of the pulled the handle up and the front of the old alarm clock. It was ancient, not digital. screen lit up. What is this thing? I thought to But it is effective. I got out of bed and went myself. Then an image of a man appeared on downstairs to feed our cat Millman. I ate the screen. He started speaking to his kids in cereal, and sent the kids on the tram to a language I did not understand, when school. The tram is like an underground bus. outside a great big cloud of smoke popped up. I got my things together and went to the Frightened, they ran into a place underneath crane. I followed my usual routine. Put on the the stairs. Then the image went blank. gas mask, put on the my orange suit, and put Amazed at what I had just seen I was hungry the tracker on my leg. I got to the crane just to learn more. But I couldn’t take the box in time to see my friend Dean. “So Dean,” I home, the government would take it. So I said, “Found anything interesting lately?” decided to hide it under a bunch of coats. I “Nah,” he replied. “Just some bullet would come back the next day. I picked up shells and a thing called a Twinkie.” some random junk to make it look like I We got up to the surface and we tried. The work whistle rang and off I went. stepped outside. Like usual the black smudge covered the sky, consuming all of the sunlight. CHAPTER TWO The ash fell from the sky and the sign for a When I get home the kids always ask city called New Yo#k. One of the letters on me, “Did you find anything papa?” or the sign is scratched off. I went by my usual “Anything on the old world Dad?” route, but let myself drift off to the city a The answer is always the same. “No, little more as I go. I passed toothbrushes, but tomorrow I bet we will.” Today, on the weird green things with gold lines running on other hand, I got to say something else. them, data chips I called them. I saw bottled “I actually may have,” I said. “It’s some sort of water, but then up ahead I saw one of the box that lights up and shows videos.” James most amazing things—a CVS. Lately I had stared at me with disbelief. been taking some medicines from this place “Oh my god! Elizabeth, guess what and giving them to my daughter who has a Dad found?” And he ran up the stairs. I horrible fever. I had asked for medicine from laughed for a second, and then decided to do the doctors at the underground but they just some research in the library right down said, “She will be fine.” Yeah right. Tunnel 13. In the Cloud they call them As I left the CVS I walked into an old broken streets. I followed it all the way to the library. down building. Inside I saw pictures of kids I walked in and the old librarian was and dogs. And then I saw the most curious reading Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. “Hello thing: a black sleek box. It was about the size Wade!” said Booker, looking up from his of a cabinet door. It had writing encrypted on novel. the front. I read, “Windows.” Confused I

56 “Hey Booker, I was wondering where “What are you doing down here?” the technology section was?” “I'm hiding from these creepy “Ahh. Yes it’s on row five.” Booker people.” looked back down at his book. “Why?” I ask. “Ok,” I said “Row five.” I counted the “Well you know about the Cloud? rows as I went. Three, four, six. Wait what? I Well I was kicked out.” backtracked to row four and saw that the “Wait you lived in the Cloud?” next row was labeled row six. Confused I “Yup! For 20 years.” went back to Booker. “There is no row five, “What was it like?” I asked. No one Booker.” who has gotten kicked out of the cloud has “D’oh! I forgot about that.” He ever lived to tell. slapped his book shut. “Well it’s pretty different from here. “Forgot about what?” There are these things called skyrails which “We had row five moved into the you use the Skyhooks to go around the city. basement. Some big buff guy came in and said The buildings float on clouds it seems. And the row had valuable information for the the food? Don’t get me started.” government, and they wanted to save it until “Well why were you kicked out?” the mayor of the Cloud comes for it. But I “Well you know about the war?” guess I can let you down there.” Booker I nodded my head, “But I don't know handed me the keys and said “It’s the door to what happened during it. Do you?” the right.” “Well the reason I got kicked out was I thanked him and went down into from looking at the personnel files. They the basement. I felt a cold breeze when I keep all the info. And . . . I can't get the opened the door, as if I were going outside. I image out of my head. What we did. What we turned on the lights to see. It wasn’t a cold all did . . . .” breeze, but an old man breathing right next “What did we—?” Then the door to me. broke down. “Chester Rubble you are under CHAPTER THREE arrest!” I could hear the sarcasm as he said “Why hello there!” The old man said. arrest. A big African American man came out “My name’s Chester … I think.” He spit in his of the doorway with a F3-Stasis. And then I hand and thought I was going to shake it. He heard a loud bang. Silence filled the room and had a scruffy look. He wore a cakey and a my eyes started to fade. torn navy vest. It had scratched metal on the left side of his vest. CHAPTER FOUR “Ummm… I’m Wade” I said in a shaky I awoke to a large man who looked voice. like he was going to take him and the table to “Pleasure to meetcha Wade!”. wrestling match. “Why were you there that

57 night?” the man said with his hand in a fist. “Alright Dad. Love you.” “I was borrowing a book.” I said, “Love you too.” I hung up the phone unsure if it will help or not. and looked up at the big man. “Why were you with a known “Awww you think that’s going to make fugitive?” my attitude towards you change? Well “Sir I really need to get home to my surprise not working. Now come along.” kids! How long have I been out?” I was given a trial which seemed to “You've been out for a an hour or so.” last for years. At the end I was determined “Sir just let me tell them where I am!” not guilty and was fined some money. I came A security guard to the right said that home and asked Dean how the kids were. prisoners were allowed to have one call. The “Great they’re upstairs sleeping.” I came up big man reluctantly agreed and handed me a slowly and peered into the room all looked phone. well. But James had left his bed light on so I “Hello?” said Elizabeth. went over to the window and turned it off. I “Elisabeth it’s me Dad!” looked through the window at the tunnel “DAD! We were so scared are you across the street. There stood Chester. Not OK?” looking anywhere near OK. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I want you to call Dean and tell him to come over and babysit OK?”

58 Surly Bennett Nostrand & Charlotte Penn

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Surly is putting people down just because you want to make them frown.

Doing this does not disappoint you although it disappoints other people, too.

You are usually not kind and you put mean things in people’s minds.

Surly is not happy. You usually cause tears. The things that are said will haunt you for years.

You are resembled with tears, skulls and fists You’ve said many mean things—they could make a long list

Being grouchy is what you do When you make people sad, you have no clue.

Surly is usually what you’re holding inside Feelings you need to let out They just can’t hide.

59 Look at Him Will Glovsky

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“Look at him!” “Glutton, outcast, dwarf,” they call me. I have an eating disorder, social anxiety and I have skeletal dysplasias. They don’t know me.

“Look at her!” “Moody, know-it-all, ugly,” they taunt. I have bipolar disorder, when my parents are fighting, I use books as my escape, I still have scars from the fire. They don’t know me.

“Look at you!” “You’re a mess, a scavenge, a barbarian,” they scream. I can’t afford clean clothes or a shower, I never know where my next meal will come from, and I grew up relying on violence for protection. They don’t know me.

“Look at me!” “Judgmental, arrogant, rude,” I think I make assumptions, inferences, judgements, and that is not okay. I don’t have excuses. I know me. I can change.

60 The Notebook Ella Stock

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Some may call it OCD I say notebook space is free While my friends lose papers in 2’s or 3’s I manage to keep mine and save some trees

Some may say to “organize” I say my notes are before my eyes “Clean it up!” my teacher cries “My notebook is fine,” I say with sighs

Filing papers is not enough Don’t tell me I’m not going to need this stuff! Loads and loads of papers may look rough Ask me to find an assignment, and I’ll call your bluff

Like waves upon the ocean in a storm Disorganized would be the norm They line up and perform Run up the beach and transform

The notes I keep are key Their ongoing presence seems to set me free My notebook serves to define me As I am sure you can see.

61 Journal Entry by an Eyewitness Emily Caccivio & Tess Contois

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9:35 A.M. TUESDAY, MAY 15TH, 1271 C.E. probably code. I just heard them say, “Gobi I am watching Marco Polo walk out Desert.” I wonder what that means? of his house in Venice. I am hiding in a gondola. The driver of the gondola is looking 1:47 AND 3 SECONDS A.M. WEDNESDAY, confused. Marco, the seventeen-year-old MAY 16TH 1271 C.E. merchant, is wearing clothes for traveling. We just made it to the so-called Soon two men, and his uncle and father, walk “Gobi Desert.” I almost fell off the camel a out of the house. Marco’s mother died while couple of times, but I hid my yelps as camel Marco’s father and uncle had been traveling, coughs. Camels can cough, right? Marco’s now they must travel somewhere else. I guess father is carrying a bag full of sacred oil, they even someone young like Marco Polo could must be trading that, but Marco’s father says be an explorer. They are talking, but I can they are presenting it as a gift. The moon has only catch the words "travel” and “China.” I risen, we need to travel at night because it is believe they are going to China to get a too hot during the day. monkey. I am guessing they are trading on the black market. Now they are departing. I must 8:00 A.M. THURSDAY, MAY 17TH 1271 C.E. follow them! It has been one day, and I am extremely thirsty, even though we stopped at 12:01 P.M. TUESDAY, MAY 15TH 1271 C.E. an oasis. I have no water; even the camel They are walking. What kind of crazy hasn’t gotten any. They are cruel and unjust people walk all the way to China? Maybe an people, they sicken me! They are all asleep, so adventurer does. The two men, Marco, plus I slowly crawl out from under the camel. I his father and uncle are looking suspicious commando crawl over to the water and drink because of their connection with the black the whole time, they will think it was a market. I shall stop them! When Marco lost moose, since moose live all around here, I’m his mother, he must’ve turned to the dark sure of it. I slowly slither over to the young side. I used to hike mountains, but then I Marco Polo and find his diary. I turn to the retired and became a stalker—I mean first page and start to read —I am not creepy. eyewitness—of Marco Polo. I am hiding “The goods and the two men we are traveling under their camel at the moment. Marco is with are gifts for Kublai Khan, the Mongol writing something. I have no further evidence Emperor, who asked for these from my father of them being part of the black market. I just and uncle on their first trip to China.” It heard them talking about going to China, probably means they are selling these men on

62 the black market to the crazy leader of a won’t let the camel inside. I put on sticky group that they met with on another journey. gloves and climb to the ceiling. I follow them These people are definitely explorers. into the “throne room” where they start talking about the deal they are going to make. 12:01 P.M. WEDNESDAY, MAY 23RD 1271 C.E. They talk about the gifts and the two men We have made it out of the desert. that ran away. Marco Polo says that they ran We have been walking all night and part of because of the perils ahead. What a lie. Perils today. During our journey of deprived sleep, isn’t even a word. And why are they still the two “gifts” ran away after we had some talking in code? Perhaps I was wrong, no, I bad experiences in the desert. They must’ve am never wrong. Suddenly, Kublai Khan escaped their captors. Also, we have finally suggests taking Marco Polo and making him entered the Mongol Empire, part of China, into an advisor who will travel around the and we are meeting with a man. Marco and Mongol empire to find out how the empire is his father mentioned him in a private holding up. I feel bad for him, being taken as conversation that I wasn’t listening to. a slave (which must be what they are saying) but it is not my fight. It’s the pirates, and it’s 12:51 A.M. WEDNESDAY, MAY 23RD 1271 C.E. their fault anyway—getting involved in the A man is walking up to us, he had a black market and all. black beard. He must be a pirate who works with the black market. Though most of the 5:11 P.M. THURSDAY, MAY 24TH 1271 C.E. people here have black beards, he looks more I have made it home, by riding Steve ominous. They talk about Kublai Khan, the across the ocean. I decided to leave, because supposed emperor. He must be the leader of it must be boring now that Marco Polo is a their group. They talk about gifts, which must slave. I feel bad and all, but— I’ll say a few be the goods they are selling. Blackbeard the words about him before he is forgotten and pirate said, “Come with me,” and they started nobody will ever remember him, ever. Even to walk to a palace. What a coincidence. I people in the future will never hear about think this is where the emperor lives. The Marco Polo. They will never know that he code they use is very good. was a great explorer and adventurer who learned many things about the Mongol 2:30 P.M. ON THE DOT WEDNESDAY MAY empire, like the money system and salt 23RD 1271 C.E. production; even if he was a dirty pirate who We have made it to the palace, traded monkeys on the black market. They probably the pirate ship in disguise. Steve is will never know that he went on a journey getting tired—yes, I named the camel, that’s that made him into and explorer and not weird, we really bonded on this trip. Even adventurer. A journey I am maybe, kind of, Steve is an adventurer. Marco Polo, his father, honored to be a part of. Wait. Does that and his uncle head inside the ship, but they mean I’m an explorer too? I guess. So, I could

63 totally sell my diary—I mean Man Journal, and become famous. But who wants to be rich anyways? I rather stay with my quiet little life as a stalker—I mean eyewitness. Effily Metahi signing out. Peace!

Artwork by Evie Hogan

64 Artwork by Ryan Laverty

65 Artwork by Stephen DiMarco

66 “The Hanging Tree” is track #15 on the album HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1

Artwork by Abby MacDonald

67 Procrastination Mark Roselli

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Procrastination, it’s a horrible thing but I like to call myself the Procrastination King for I never do a thing on time I’d rather just make this rhyme.

Why do it now, when I can wait? I’ll get it done before it’s too late. I might say I work better under stress but that is not true I must confess.

What’s the rush? I’ll do it someday without a fuss but until then I will take my time and maybe go for a climb.

Five minutes on the couch is all I need Then I would write the best poem ever conceived. Now it’s 1:00 a.m. and I am feeling great sorrow I think I’ll write this poem tomorrow.

Artwork by Emily Spang

68 Artwork by Jonathan Purdy

69 Artwork by Aniela Jordan

70 Art by Tobin Clark-Goldfield

71 Artwork by Ayse Joy Shelton

72 Flying Alone Justin Tremblay

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As I was driving to the airport to be I looked up and I could now see the airport. dropped off to go back to Boston, I took one It looked so much sadder than when I landed last time to look around the beautiful city of here, now that I was leaving instead of Naples, Florida. There were the flowers and entering it felt so much different. All the palm trees that would never be in Boston in people waiting for a car to pick them up, just mid-February during the worst storm we have starting their vacation. When I was just ever seen. The birds were flying from tree to getting here I remembered seeing all the tree swaying in the wind as they flew and just people entering the airport thinking I was sat there watching cars go by all day. There glad I was just getting here, not leaving. Now were people everywhere walking to the park, I was the one leaving and they could be the beach, even school. No one was wearing ones saying they were glad they were just mittens or jackets, watching where they getting here. I stepped out of the car and said stepped so they do not step in slush or muddy goodbye to my grandparents and now this grass. Green grass was everywhere, water was the last time I would be in good weather fountains near restaurants that all had outside without snow until July. seating and inside had the air conditioning “Good-bye,” I said as I stepped out of blasted to keep cool. As I passed the beach I the car. saw the waves crashing into the sand and I “See you soon,” my grandmother smelled the salty water and food from the added. snack bar that I ate at a couple days ago. The “Remember to go to gate twenty- smell of warm weather and fresh cut grass two,” my grandfather exclaimed. that couldn’t be described, it was just the “I will,” I answered. smell of summer. The breeze from the ocean “Do not forget that you have to board was cool, but felt good. Over the sand the airplane,” he advised. mounds I could see the dolphins jumping out “What gate is it again?” I joked, he of the water and swimming across the ocean. had told me over a hundred times what gate it I could see the pier where I walked down and was. saw fisherman bringing in the catch of the “Bye,” I finally said. I got my suitcase day to the restaurants. We were passing Fifth and got ready to enter the airport to travel Ave where we saw the car show only five days back home to Boston. ago, it was now filled with people shopping Beep! Beep! The line at security was and eating. so long, I hoped I did not miss my flight. If I said I was not scared then I would be lying.

73 There are some things I knew would not able to get a snack for another forty-five happen—like having to make an emergency minutes. I ran into one of the candy stores to landing in another state, or there being a fire quickly buy a candy bar. The line was so long on the plane. Not knowing if I had a pocket — at least fifteen people were waiting to buy knife in my pocket and would have to go to pillows and food and drinks and magazines. jail, or maybe someone put one in my pocket. Almost everyone in this line was wearing a The X-ray machine would decide that. The suit and tie with dress pants. I was guessing security guard was wearing a dark blue shirt they were on business trips. with a black belt, his gun sat tightly in his “Hi how are you?” the woman belt. The sounds of people talking and phones mumbled as I walked to the counter. ringing filled the air. It was now my turn to “Good,” I announced. walk through security. I threw my bag on the “What will it be for you today?” she table and walked through. Beep! Beep! Beep! asked. What was that? They told me to take off my “A magazine, a book, a neck pillow . . . belt and I was on my way to gate twenty two. ?” she added The old chipped sign that looked like it had “Just the candy bar,” I mumbled as I been here for a hundred years that I could cut her short. barely read said gates, “1-10 ahead.” Another “That will be $1.29,” she asserted. sign that looked the same says, “11-20 to left.” “Here you go,” I said. Behind me was a sign saying,”31-40 to right.” “Thank you!” she hollered as I walked Where is 22? I only had five minutes to make out of the store to catch my flight. it. I looked around this old airport, I was I rushed back to my seat only to find guessing it was built sometime around the out my flight had been delayed one hour. I 1900s and never remodeled. I looked at the stood there and saw people walking into signs again, but under the chipped-off paint stores and planes landing on the busy runway. I saw “Gates 21-30 ahead.” Only four minutes. The noise from the plane was loud, but not as I rushed to the gate passing by the smell of loud as the crying baby next to me. fresh bagels and donuts, the smell of a “Excuse me,” the woman grumbled as milkshake and a burger from 5 Guys. I could I walked to my seat on the plane. almost taste the fries and the donuts. I passed “Sorry,” I replied as she pushed the candy stores, the burger restaurants and through me to get to her seat. Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts. I was now at “Hello,” I sighed as I sat in my seat. gate twenty two and had two minutes. I felt “Hi, how are you?” the woman next to like just yesterday I was landing at this airport me responded. eating at that same 5 Guys to my left. This “Good” I Added. airport might be old, but the stores were new. As I looked out the window and saw I knew I didn’t have time to get a snack, but the tiny houses and all the roads that looked once I was in the air I knew I wouldn’t be so small, the clouds looked thin and almost

74 like they were not even there. When I was a like, Should I buy the shoes even if they are kid I wanted to lay on a cloud, now I saw it expensive? Choosing what school you want to was just air. The palm trees from here were go to, studying for a test without being told small and the people looked like tiny little to study for it. ants. I heard the crying baby about five seats I am awoken by a noise so loud: “We ahead of me and then the sick person will be landing shortly.” How long was I out? I coughing as loud as the baby was crying. The looked outside and I saw the houses covered smell from the man’s meatball sub next to me with snow. The streets were half the size was torture. The sauce and cheese melted because of the snow. The space between into the meatball. Then the cheesy saucy houses was snow and it was almost as high as bread—when he was finished he took out a the house. The flashing lights of the runway brownie. It looked so soft, but hard on the were getting closer and closer. Then finally we outside and gooey inside. I took out my hit the ground, the plane was skidding to a boring ham and cheese sandwich and then stop right at the gate. All the people threw it back in the bag. I closed my eyes and unloading the luggage of the plane outside fell asleep. were in heavy jackets and boots. I looked In my mind I wanted to fly alone, but down at what I was wearing—a short sleeve I knew that I would rather have my parents shirt and shorts. I felt the cold air bite my with me. Telling me where to go and what to legs as I left the plane and entered Logan do. I still wanted to be more independent and Airport. I now needed to meet my mom at learn about how to do things on my own. baggage claim and go back home. Independence is doing something on your own and being able to drive a car by yourself. It is being able to go to the movies without any of your parents with you, making choices

Art by Alistair Ong

Artwork by Alistair Ong

75 Sandy Risk Lainie Sanford

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I was surprised and unsure as I sat on “Can I have one, please Jack?” I the sturdy wood chair in the dining room, begged. which reminded me of a summer dirt color. “No, who do you think I am?” Jack “Do you want to come?” my Grandfather roughly replied. repeatedly asked but I was thinking of all the “Morgan?” I asked, hoping that he bad things that could happen rather than all would be mature enough to give me the the good things. We could get lost, or caught, flashlight. or hurt, or all of the above. My stomach “Um, no, I don’t give flashlights to growled, I didn’t know if it was because I was animals,” he replied with sarcasm. scared or if it was because the food wasn’t I sighed, then sighed again as we agreeing with my stomach as I sat in the light walked. My brothers ahead of me and my blue room that they referred to as the dining grandparent by what looked like a sandy room, but I rather called it the feeding room. football field, at least to my seven year old My Grandfather asked once more, “Are you eyes. I attempted to stare at my small feet but coming to the beach or not? We usually don’t all I saw was a black abyss of darkness get caught trespassing, and the nice fellows covering my pinky-polly-pocket flip flops. living there are usually nice enough to ignore “What's wrong?” questioned my our quiet presence; Are you coming?” grandfather as I opened my mouth to sigh Usually? I thought as I scaredly spat again. out my final decision of, “Sure.” “I wanted a flashlight,” I replied while Me and my two brothers, Jack and sighing. Morgan, rushed over to our shoes where I My grandfather stopped walking and slipped on a pair of old dusty flip flops as my told me, “Notice how you said that you brothers threw on pairs of matching red and wanted one, not that you needed one, you black nike sneakers. My grandfather don’t always get what you want.” attempted hand us all flashlights as he tied on I stopped for a moment and sighed, his grey and white sandals. “Yeah but I’m like not old enough to need “There are only three flashlights, who stuff, it’s not like I needed that Barbie doll,” I wants one?” said my grandfather as my stated. brothers frantically grabbed the two blaring My grandfather smiled and agreed, blue flashlights out of his hands like dogs “Age doesn’t define need,” he finally said as I running for bones, leaving my grandfather just frowned as if I lost my ultra-deluxe with one pale yellow flashlight for himself. Barbie sea-blue princess dress.

76 We started to walk again as I continued to When we reached the grey wooden staircase sigh, telling myself I needed a flashlight and down to the summer soft sand the biggest that this walk wasn’t worth it. I was already excitement erupted in my brain like a million upset, and so were my feet. I was tired and fireflies in a closed jar. The stairways had gloomy with a pinch of annoyed. It was just a dead shrubs on it that made the the ground beach, a beach we weren’t even supposed to look accented with brownish colors. The alive be on, how fun could that possibly be? And ocean from the top of the staircase was blue about what my grandfather had said, I did and glistening like glass, slightly cracked glass. need a flashlight, I was practically blind with The beaten-down-worn-out flip flops slid off my small peanut sized growing eyes. My my feet so easily as I touched the blonde brothers were running around screaming with grained sand with a sigh of delight and no manners of how it was eight PM and achievement. My feet absorbing in the grassy people could’ve been sound asleep. shrubs that laid ever so dead on the ocean “Quiet down or we’ll turn around shore. I stumbled over a pale log, fell right on right now!” aggressively growled my the ground, I stayed there because it was grandfather as he hit them both on their relaxing. I looked up into the orange moon. brown-haired heads while I slowly pranced Orange? I thought to myself. What a behind him on the dirt road that had the strange color for a moon, why would it appear that most green bushes on each of my sides. way? What if there was a deep story behind it? “We barely even spoke,” Jack dared to Perhaps one day, the goddess of color, Ariana, reply. and the goddess of the moon, Selene, decided “I bet you a new Lego set that the to meet up and hang out, and maybe Ariana’s whole neighborhood heard you just then,” my company colored the moon in an orange-ish grandfather replied with a slight sass. tone. Probably not . . . I thought to myself as I “Oh my god, Jack, we’re getting a new brushed the sand through my hair. There’s got Lego set!” exclaimed Morgan. to be a scientific meaning behind this moon, I guess “Morgan and Jack, stop being dumb I’ll wait to find out, I thought. or Grandpa will put us to bed at home!” I I absorbed the sound of the soft yelled back. ocean waves splashing against the rocky My grandfather smiled and replied shore. I grasped the sand in my small palms as “You got that right, at least one of you kids the smaller grains slipped through my fingers, have common sense,” which made both of my the larger rocky ones stayed. I knew that the brothers groan softly in hate. sand would get into my hair but I didn’t care. We continued to walk on, all at the The fuzzy sensation of it rubbing against my same pace, all at the same volume as well, tan skin made up for the hours of scratching which was very low. I saw the beach from a the tiny pieces of sand out of my hair. I felt distance which is the only reason I kept invincible, no one had seen me here, I had yet walking; the beach was my only motivation. to be caught, I felt like I could rob a building

77 and get away with it. I was absorbed in the eyes as we walked home; across the road, over moment. The cool breeze, the soft green the dirt, and into the door we went. shrubs, the grainy blonde sand, the dead log “Will we go back tomorrow?” me and at my feet, the calming ocean noises, and the my brothers repeatedly asked as my mother fainting sound of seagulls; they all made up tucked us in one by one. The glass of ice and for the horrendous walk there and they all water melting in my hand was stolen and put made me love that beach more than anything. on the dresser next to my blue striped bed I was in the moment, I realized that it was which looked like somewhat of a prison suit worth it and that even though we were from the past. I placed my head on the dusty risking so much, I got so much out of it. I pristine pillow and stared at the ugly yellow lied in the soft sand as I heard footsteps walls as the fan tickled on and off of my toes. approach and a familiar voice. My brothers, as usual, were jumping from bed “Come on Lainie, we have to get back to bed. I shushed them but they didn’t stop to the house. It’s almost nine and you need to till my grandfather came in and sat on the be up early tomorrow. Get up,” demanded my wooden decorative rocking chair and watched grandfather. I sighed and cried a little, us. knowing I may have never gone back to that “Will we go tomorrow?” I finally beach. asked. “Can’t we stay for like, two more “Yes, we will go but only if you finish minutes? please,” I begged. your dinner,” he said with a slight smirk. My grandfather got softer and replied, “Can you at least cook something “Your mom texted me saying that your good, like pork?” I begged as he signaled a favorite show, Spongebob, was going to be on thumbs up and walked out of the room while tomorrow morning and for you to wake up at switching the light switch off. that time you need to go to bed early.” The room was accented with shadows I sighed and started to walk, after and darkness as dark as the night sky as I minimum effort of trying to stand up. heard a whisper of “I hate pork” coming from I tripped and stumbled as I wiped the my little brother’s mouth. We all giggled and overwhelming tears off of my face while we shushed each other. walked through the path which was even “Jack, turn off your Game Boy,” yelled darker than before; I couldn’t see my own Morgan as I rolled over to my left side and feet that I was stumbling over. faced the wall. I faked a smile to my grandfather as “Give me five more minutes,” begged he asked “Are you tired?” Jack until I heroically threw my stuffed I lied and said, “No,” somehow animal across the room at him. I finally thinking that would get me closer to going passed out as the noise in the room perfectly back to that satisfying beach. I just closed my shut off; I was asleep like a bear in winter, hibernation in the great old cold, a bird

78 soaring through the cold breeze of winter, trying to escape the cold, I felt like all those things at once. That night made my day and I was so happy to go back the next day; I even dreamed about it.

Artwork by Electra Hamilton

79 Unfortunate Animal Luck Alessandra Brizuela

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Everyone at least once in their life has my feet filled with roots, rocks, and dirt. The thought or said, “I’m having bad luck.”For heat caused me to sweat. As I walked along I me, at age seven I had a month of extremely felt the sweat slowly trickle down my face like bad luck with animals that led me to believe I raindrops falling down the outside of a rainy was cursed by the animal kingdom. It all window. started out in a conservation animal park in The whole week I was very excited to the dense woods of Canada. see all of the animals because I loved all kinds As I walked into the wildlife forest in of animals at the time. Surprisingly all of the Canada the first thing I noticed were the the animals in the park were known to be tame tall pine trees overlooking me and sparkling because they were used to all of the people with the bright sunlight. Squirrels and feeding them, I soon found out that this chipmunks were sprinting up and down the didn’t apply to all of the animals. As I was trees making loud and distinct chirping walking down a path near where all of the sounds. There was a grassy pasture filled with deers were grazing a deer slowly walked many deers grazing on the luscious grass. towards me. In my head I was thinking it was Next to them was a rubble path that was just walking towards my family and I to get a bordered with small, smooth stones. There closer look of us out of curiosity. It looked to were eco-tourists everywhere with cameras be an adolescent with a light-brown coat with snapping pictures of the beautiful scenery. At skinny body that looked to be very agile and the time I thought it was the prettiest place fast. My sister and mother were in awe about I’d ever been to. how close the deer was to us. Me, on the Left and right I saw tourists grabbing other hand was terrified since a deer was binoculars to get a closer look of all the standing only a couple of feet in front of me. animals perched up in the trees. It made me The deer walked closer and closer to wonder how many animals could be packed me, each step it took I was debating whether into this small area. I could hear the jabbering or not to run. All of the sudden, things took of tourists talking to their families, even the an unexpected turn. The deer pinned its ears creatures of the forest were making sounds as backward, and within a second its front leg if they were having a casual evening talk. I was in the air and whacked me straight in the loved to take in deep breaths to inhale and stomach. I could hear a loud “THUMP” as smell the fresh forest air that filled my lungs the deer's hoof hit my stomach. Right after it with the purest bits of air. As I walked down kicked me, the deer sprinted away as if the path I could feel the rough terrain under running from a crime it had just committed. I

80 stood there in complete shock processing they did leave some of their animal what just happened to me. I began to cry in droppings, luckily there was boardwalks that pain because yes, it does hurt when a fully lead paths throughout the greenhouse. In the grown deer kicks you very hard out of middle of the path there was a pool filled nowhere. It even left a huge red mark on my with the biggest goldfish I’ve ever seen in my belly in the shape of its hoof. My mother and life. Lily pads floated above the water, and in sister looked at me like I was an alien, the middle of the pool was a statue of the wondering how on earth did a tame deer just goddess Athena hovering over the fish as if attack me. Being the usual way she is my she was their guardian. mother worried I hurt something in my The parrots kept on making loud stomach since I was screaming with pain. I sounds that felt like they were going to burst thought I’d had the worst of luck that day my ear drums. My mother was just walking with animals but I had yet to know a week along the boardwalk analyzing and observing from then I’d have another incident with the all of the tropical plants. Most of the birds animal kingdom. were running in and out of the vegetation and A week later my mother and I randomly popping out into the boardwalk, decided that we should go visit the which I admit could be frightening at times. greenhouse in her work, New England The goldfish were sucking at the surface of Biolabs, which is just down the road located the water looking for any scrap of food they in Ipswich. I was almost fully recovered from could find acting like they were being starved. being hit by the deer, I just had a nasty bruise The closer my mother and I went to as a constant reminder of my terrible visit to them the louder the parrots got and the more the wildlife park. scared I got. When I saw the parrots sharp When I walked through the beak and scaly feet I got pretty freaked out. I greenhouse door I could feel all of the mist was lucky because the parrots were in their and steam rapidly warm up every muscle in huge cage and they were usually let free in the my body, it was kept very warm in there for greenhouse so I came at the perfect time. My all of the tropical plants. I could hear the mother had no fear to open the cage door and constant gawking of the parrots that was pet the parrots, but I certainly did! echoing through the room making the sound Before I knew it the cage door was even louder. The room was huge with glass open and my mom had half of her arm in the windows that let you see through the outside cage of gawking parrots. They walked towards cold New England weather. It fit tall, tropical her and let her slowly pet their backs, they trees that were packed with plump fruits like even stopped making noises as if they really mangos and peaches. On the ground there did enjoy being pet. I thought to myself, if my were shrubs that had huge green leaves with mother can pet these parrots and they aren’t guinea fowl running through them once in a doing her any harm this should be nothing for while. You’d have to watch your step since me. After two or three minutes of my mom

81 petting the parrots I slowly put my arm in the lived in. The pony was beautiful with a dark cage. I had to act before I could think brown, furry coat and small stubby legs that because I knew that soon enough I’d regret held up a huge fat upper body. Once I arrived my decision. Then I slowly and carefully at Kathy’s house she said, “Would you like to reached towards one of the parrots just as my ride Stormy today? I’ve heard you’ve been mom did. Once my arm was in the cage out doing a lot of riding lately.” of nowhere one of the parrots in the back of My mom whispered in my ear, “I told the cage jumped up from the corner of the her that you started riding lessons.” cage, wings out and everything. Before I I replied with excitement, “Thank knew it my finger was inside of the parrots you so much mom!” mouth with its beak chomping down on my My mom’s friend then said with a pointer finger. A shearing pain went through great deal of confidence in her voice, “Stormy my finger and I screamed one of the kinds of is an amazing pony and I trust he’ll take good screams you’d likely hear in a horror movie. care of you.” Luckily when I screamed the parrot let go of I was so happy to finally ride the pony my finger and flew to the back of the cage. I I’d known practically my whole life who I’d pulled my arm out of the cage as fast as I been longing to ride for so long. I walked into could because I didn’t want myself anywhere the small barn and put Stormy into one of near that horrible parrot. My mother and I their stalls and started to brush him and put were so confused as to why the parrot would on the bridle. I had no fear that I’d get hurt bite me so hard. The greedy parrot left me while on this pony since I had all of my trust with a bloody finger and a traumatizing into it. I was ready to ride and walked Stormy childhood memory. into their big backyard that had plenty of My bad luck with animals that month ridding space. There was nothing there that wasn’t over just yet I still had one more thing would spook Stormy so we all figured it was coming for me. As you could expect after the perfectly safe. After I walked into the yard I parrot bit me I wasn’t a bird person anymore. hopped on Stormy after getting a leg-up from I was starting to get suspicious because of all my mom. The instant I got on it felt like these bad things were happening to me with floating on a cloud in heaven. He was so animals. I used to love to go visit my aunt and comfy to ride and listened to everything I see all the animals she had at her barn. After asked him to do. I was a beginner at the time the past few accidents I had I started to not so all we did was walk around while my mom go as much to visit the animals and wasn’t as and her friend were standing near Stormy and enthusiastic to see any animals. My mom and I. I had decided to visit her friend named So far things were going really good Kathy. I absolutely loved to go visit Kathy and everything was running smoothly. I really because she had a huge house with a backyard do wish things had stayed that way, but of barn where the cutest pony named Stormy course since it was my month of bad luck

82 things took a turn. With no warning Stormy me as hard as it can or hate me and always lifted his hind legs and threw the biggest ignore me.” My mom was aware of my fear buck to this day that I’ve ever seen a pony do. and to this day I think she got my dog to try I was tossed over his side and everything to make me feel better about animals. went into slow motion from there on. I When we arrived at the dog breeder’s remember seeing the ground and my arms out place I was shaking with fear on what would in front of me then BOOM I hit the ground happen when I meet the puppy. I started to straight on my back. Luckily I didn’t break calm down a little more once I started talking anything but I did get a nasty bruise on my to the breeder because she kept on saying, back. I looked up and saw Stormy standing “You got the best puppy in the litter, your over me looking as confused as I was. I burst puppy is a sweetheart.” My mom was also into tears not just because of the pain but very supportive to me throughout the whole because of the fact the pony I trusted most time reassuring me everything was going to on this earth had let me down. be okay. I felt like I couldn’t trust any animal Soon we walked into a room filled anymore and that they all hated me. My weird with small, black puppies with big eyes that fear of animals had fully taken over me. It you could melt into. They were all kept in a may not seem like a big deal to some people pen and outside of the pen was a small area but for me at the time I felt like from there where you could spend one on one time with on out I wouldn’t be able to be with animals. a puppy. My family and I all crowded in the All just because I was kicked by a deer, hit by area and the breeder placed a small puppy a parrot, and bucked off by the pony I trusted named Comet in front of us. Comet had a most. I was scared of the things I used to love beautiful silky and black coat with white most, which is probably one of the worst spotted all over his chest and feet. He started feelings on earth. Being scared is a horrible at us all deeply analyzing my family and me. feeling because it had always puts you on The moment of truth happened when he edge, there’s always a deep and nagging started to walk towards me. I feared that this feeling in your gut whenever you see what was the moment where he’d bite me or attack you’re scared of, which in my case was me, but things finally took a good turn. animals. I’d inch away towards every animal I Comet walked up to me slowly and crawled saw, avoiding getting in contact with them! into my lap, after that he put his two front After a long month of avoiding paws on my chest and licked my cheeks. I’ll animals my parents brought my sister and I to never forget that special instantaneous bond I get a puppy. You’d think that would be a little formed with Comet. girls dream come true to get a puppy, but for He let me know that I shouldn't be me all of the worst case scenarios were scared of him or any other animal. As Comet running through my head. I was thinking, grew I grew stronger internally because I “Maybe when the puppy sees me it will bite learned to grow out of my fear of animals. I

83 realized that what I was thinking wasn’t true, We can even look back at some things and I wasn’t cursed by the animal kingdom I just laugh at them which is what I do know when had a month of bad luck with animals. I I think back on my fear of animals. It’s picked up on something really important important for us to all remember that things from what happened to me, I learned that that may seem horrible at the time will be most of the bad things that happen to us gone soon. We shouldn’t stress on what's won’t matter in a week, month, or year from happened in the past and just live for the now. present.

Artwork by Padan Coles

84 The Base Camp Tim Donnellan-Doser

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Tent graveyard. Rough, colorful fabric. Mountainy background pillows of rock, snow and black ice. VW bus, depressing, sad, disturbed and disgusting all over. A wreck of an amazing area. Eating trash -- Rock and rolling all night and parties every day. It’s a teenage wasteland. The last day of Woodstock if it was winter.

Artwork by Stephen DiMarco

85 Rugged Bear Troubles Ginger Hubbard

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We pulled into the slushy parking lot. lights that hurt your eyes. Most of the signs The snow that was left was black from the were bright yellow with cute flower sun dirty car tires that would roll into the parking dresses— and I have never ever seen one of lot. The road paint was chipping away from those dresses in the store, not even the cars. Time for a repaint! The buildings something that looks like it . . . . were old- looking and gray. It was not a happy We come here too much. sight. Abbey, our family friend, was blabbing Our rain boots hit the wet side walk to Giles, my mean brother, about some kid in with a swooshing noise and a splash of water their grade. I don’t understand pre-middle hit our knees. Me and Abbey stomped around school gossip, but I didn’t know who they in the puddles trying to make the biggest were talking about because I was in fourth splash. I saw the bright lights in the store grade and they were both in fifth. The only making the cardboard window signs light up. thing I wanted at the moment was for them Everything was wet from the rain that to stop talking so I could join in on a happened a few days ago. It looked like it was conversation that actually made sense to me. going to rain again because of how dark the Giles was in the front seat and my clouds were above us. We reached the store. grandma was driving. We were going to the My grandma opened the door— the Rugged Bear because my grandma needed a bell that some stores have over their door and dress for a little kid who was going to have rings every time someone walks in— rang and their birthday in a few days. We pulled into a the old-lady perfume smell filled my nose. parking spot right out in front of the store. There was an old lady sitting at the desk My grandma said, “Be on your best behavior,” writing something down. She kept her head but we didn’t listen to her. down but looked up with her eyes. Her We walked up onto the sidewalk and glasses hung on her nose. we saw all of the flashy signs saying, ON All I could hear were the children SALE and FREE! and I thought to myself, playing with their toys on the old stained rug Free? the only thing free in that store might be a pen and their parents talking to the store workers. and their sales are really only like 3% off, You could tell everyone here except the kids technically its not even a sale! They had all of was in misery. There was a lady in the corner these signs up because spring was starting so folding a bunch of pink dresses, and the old they had all of their SPRING SALES! up and lady sitting on the front desk was trying to running. It looked like Times Square all focus. She should have been smarter to realize wrapped up in one store with all of its flashy that it would be very hard to focus in a store

86 that’s meant to be for little kids. I felt the We didn’t listen and we started the game back cool rush of the ceiling fan above me, really it up again. Then she said again to my grandma, wasn’t a cool rush, it was just pushing around “Control your children!” My grandma told us stuffy air on to me. I was looking at my feet to come to her, but instead we ran to her like until I heard, “SHRIEK!” a slight jog, and Abbey ran into a rack making I immediately looked up and I guess her and the rack fall. Giles, Abbey and I were some mother wasn’t watching her son because cracking up but I guess that was the the a little boy was shaking a massive grandfather tipping point for the lady sitting at the front clock that was just about to fall if the mother desk. She walked over to my grandmother, didn’t catch him just at the right time. I I'm not quite sure what she said but all I giggled to myself. Who puts a massive heard was, “Leave . . . kids . . . bothering.” grandfather clock in a little kids store? My grandmother got very mad at us Giles, Abbey and I got really bored and told us we had been asked to leave and we after a while so we started a game of tag. I did. was the youngest so of course I was first. We were running around until the lady at the front desk snapped at us, "”Stop fooling around!”

87 Artwork by Andrew Winch

88 The Tales of Rinn Ben Cooke

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Part I: The Tombosa “I don’t remember a ‘Kris.’” Then I looked up at her. “But I sure wish I did!” I beamed and AUGUST, 1944. INDONESIA smiled like a dope. She looked shaky herself, We’ve spotted a small band of pirates and next thing I knew she had fainted and ahead. With our luggage, 400 pounds of fallen into the sand. pepper, we’ll be lucky to make it out of here. “Wow,” I whispered, wiping the sand “Rinn! Get to the boat!” Father yelled. from her face where she fell. I guess we’d I could barely hear him over the both been through a lot. Then a box washed sound of rifles being fired. The pirates had up on the shore. It was filled with three boarded the ship a minute ago. They don’t raincoats, a mug, and hundreds of packets of look at all like they do in the stories father freeze dried meals. used to read. They look like natives in their “Heaven!!!” I screamed. “Kris, if only ragged clothes. Except these ones were armed you were awake to see this!” I kissed her and confident that our ship, the Tombosa, sandy, cold cheek. I covered Kris with a was theirs. The one pirate that I saw was raincoat and used mine as a mattress. It clearly their leader. Jewelry, shoes, and big wasn’t the most refreshing sleep I ever got, muscles. He yelled something in a foreign but it did the trick. language, guns fired, and that was the last time I heard father’s voice for the rest of my AUGUST 1944. INDONESIAN RAINFOREST. life. I’ve sharpened my pocket knife on a rock and cut a tree trunk just enough so that AUGUST 1944. INDONESIAN RAINFOREST. I could kick it down. I ripped a piece of wood I’m lost, starving, thirsty, but not off and used a vine to tie it to a triangular alone. rock. And that was my means of defense: a “Wake up! Are you alive?” the voice makeshift stone hatchet. said. After I chopped down a few more “God? I . . . Is that you?” I mumbled. trees with my hatchet in a pitiful attempt to “No. My name is Kris,” she said. “I build a shelter, I could see just over the trees. was on the boat with you, remember?” When I looked over them, I saw a huge To be honest, I didn’t remember mountain in the distance. But based on the much that happened before the explosion. smoke coming out of the top, I was pretty sure that that was a volcano. And based on my knowledge of volcano eruptions, it would

89 take about seven or eight months until it small plant, and let the sap drip onto her would erupt. That gave me until March until wound. Kris rolled over on her side. this whole island is drowned in lava. “This medicine should work in about a half hour. Then she will awake. But for now Part II: The Volcano God I have some things to tell you about this God SEPTEMBER, 1944 forsaken island of ours.” I’ve wandered my way into trouble, again… “Get away you cannibals!” I screamed. SEPTEMBER, 1944. MARAKAS “I am not food!” Again, they screamed “Cave of Man.” He refuses to call it a something in a foreign language, blow darts man cave for some reason. That would make were fired, blah, blah, blah, all too familiar. me feel more at home. “NO! For the last time! I don’t have SEPTEMBER, 1944??? shag carpets, I don’t have a TV, and this place I’m now dangling over the fire, tied is not a ‘Man Cave!’” Maraka screamed at me. by my toes, coughing. This is not my day. I was beginning to wonder if he was “Hey, if you find a girl on the beach, emotionally stable, because he had definitely tell her not to worry and that I’m in a better had some mood swings since we’d met. place. Her name is Kris.” “Whatever, dude,” I said. Then he “Kris?” One of the cannibals said. pulled a spin move, grabbed me by the collar “Did you say Kris?” of my shirt, shoved me against a tree, and had “Yeah! Do you know her?” I asked me by the throat. This guy’s going to give me this bulky dude. a heart attack. “Yes. I’m her brother. My name is “What was that word you just said to Maraka.” me?!” He asked/ yelled/ spat. I held back a laugh. “As in the “Uhh . . . ‘dude?’” He let go. instrument?” “What does it mean?” He asked “What instrument?” He too looked (much more calmly I might add.) puzzled. “It means, like, guy or friend,” I “Never mind that, where’s my sister?” answered nervously. I took him to the beach where Kris was “Oh,” he sighed,”I apologize.” I didn’t wrapped up in her raincoat. I explained about think that apology was very sincere no matter her fainting after the shipwreck, and he, how he said it. This guy was crazy! So we just luckily, understood. He hunched over her, kept on walking until we got to his cave. I was removed her raincoat, closed his eyes, and wandering around the place when I saw a started to chant. massive painting on his wall. “May I borrow your pocket knife?” “What is this mural of?” I asked, I had no idea how he knew I had one stepping towards it slowly. but I reluctantly gave it to him. He cut open a

90 “That, my friend,” Maraka began, “is a “You two are ridiculous! Now let’s painting of the Volcano God. He rules my move! Last time I checked there was an tribe. The legitimate name for the god is erupting volcano on this island heating up the Tamboryne.” Again I held back a laugh at the earth underneath us as we speak! Now let’s ridiculous name. go!” “Is he a nice god? Or one of those Kris definitely had some stuff to say vengeful gods who’s always smiting people as and that was all of it in a nutshell. he pleases?” I asked him “He’ll occasionally smite someone. OCTOBER 1994 But not very often. So I think you’re good.” Underwater hut. Maraka has He reassured me. “Unless you stand on top of somehow built a surprisingly dry hut a tree holding a metal pole in the air during a underwater! thunderstorm.” Well that was obvious. I lit a match and jumped for two “Anything else you need to tell me reasons: 1) because I COULD light a match about your god? Maybe a shorter name? and 2) there’s a man in here! A slithering one! Because ‘Tamboryne’ isn’t really working for “Look out!” Maraka screeched. me,” I asked him. “No! Don’t hurt him! He might know “A shorter name? Yes,” he replied, “for something I need to know!” I yelled. short, we sometimes like to call him “Rinn.” “Bro, do you know anything about the By the way I never got your name.” Tombosa?” I was speechless. “Yessss, the Tombosssa . . . a ship wasssn’t it?” he hissed. “Yes! What is your name sir?” I asked. Part III: Wooden Bullets “My name isss Hermonyka.” SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 1944. “I’m done pretending! What is up Indonesian Beach. Kris is waking up, with all these instrumental names? You’re and that means I have a whole lot of coming with us Hermon!” explaining to do. “Mark!” OCTOBER 1994. HERMON’S CAVE OF “Kris!” UNMANNED “Mark?!” I never expected that to be Apparently, the “unmanned” are men the first thing we all said to each other. “Your that were magically transformed into a real name is Mark?!” I screamed. mutant animal. Weird. “Sadly, yes.” Mark, apparently, said. “I “Really?” I questioned. “You have know, Maraka was way cooler of a name, so shag carpeting?” call me either.” “Yeah. Ssso?” Hermon said. “I’ll call you NOT Mark!” I yelled, “Maraka will do!”

91 “Never mind. Just nevermind . . . .” I “Sssir!” He then dropped to his knees in a responded. I then tripped over the lip of the praying sort of motion. “Pleassse accept my rug and landed on my head really hard. sssincere apologiesss and condolencesss! “Get to the lifeboat!” my father Alssso, accept thessse cursssed wooden yelled. My mother was crying and Kris and I bullets. A ssspell wasss put on them by an had just broken up. She was so mad she tried earth wizard. They now turn anything into to shoot me five times. Hermon grabbed us crumbling rocksss on impact.” by the neck and jumped off the Tombosa. He Maraka and Kris entered the hut and then sank to the underwater hut and left us gasped. Maraka then made the connection to die on a beach. I just had an encounter between the two names as well. with a divine force. I woke up, ran outside, “No way!” Kris groaned, “I was dating jumped in the ocean, swam to the hut, swam him?” outside the hut, and when I smelled pepper, I Maraka said, “All hail Rinn! The knew what I had found. volcano god!” When Harmonyka found me, I was crying in the corner of the hut. “I wasss jussst following ordersss,” he hissed. “I’m sssorry . . . . What is your name, young boy?” “My name is Rinn . . . . What’s it to you?” I sniffled.

Artwork by George Kessler

92 Artwork by Yue Yan Zhang

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Front cover design by Megan Amero, Lily Connors, Scott Janes, and Erica Luo.

Front cover layout by Scott Janes.

Interactive Table of Contents designed by Megan Amero.

Front and back cover art by: Matt Harris, Andrew Winch, Stephen DiMarco, Hope Jensen, & Yue Yan Zhang.

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