Wizard What the Heck Is House of Targ? Hmmm, Good Question
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WORDS FROM THE WIZARD WHAT THE HECK IS HOUSE OF TARG? HMMM, GOOD QUESTION. TARG IS THE NAME OF A 1980 VIDEO GAME MADE BY EXIDY, IT WAS THE FIRST GAME WE GOT & WE STILL HAVE IT. UMMM, HOUSE OF TARG IS HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT EASY TO UNDERSTAND ONCE YOU ARE HERE. JUST REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN & ALL WILL BECOME LUCID! TARG ISOTTAWA’S ONLY TRUE CLASSICARCADE 17 pinball machines, 26 arcade cabinets, over 100 playable titles on location! The TARG games repository runs deep & we are constantly swapping games in and out to keep the collection eclectic & fresh + we like to keep most of the classics at their original 25 cents per play. TARG IS THE HOME OFPEROGI POWER We only serve 1 thing… handmadePerogies lovinglyprepared by Wizard Punx. There are 6 varieties to choose including a Vegan offering & a sinfully delicious dessert perogi. Our kitchen stays open until 10:30pm Wed - Sun & we serve a rustic brunch on Sun. TARG ISFAMILY AWESOME All ages are welcome to experience Pinball & Classic Arcade fun daily until 9pm. (after 9pm we switch to 19+ live music venue format). WARNING - don’t let on that you can’t resist a pint while playing Tetris at an arcade or you will never be able to use a visit to TARG as a “get the kids to bed”bargaining chip. TARG IS A LIVE MUSIC VENUE RUN BY MUSICIANS After 9pm it’s all about the music. We work with Ottawa’s top concert promoters to bring you the best local & international Punk/Metal/Indie/ Rock bands we can fi nd. Our goal is to make live music lovers out of the entire Ottawa population. TARG IS A FUN PLACE TO BE ON FREEPLAY SUNDAYS After 9m every Sunday we set all the games to FreePlay. For only 5 measly Canadian dollars you get all the pinball & vid action you can handle. DJ KJMAXX provides the sleazy 70’s soundtrack to your hi-score pursuits. Hope that helped YOGI will. KEN Mode are a sludge/ noise rock band from Winnipeg, and in this album is an amazing display of life-destroyingly heavy tunes, with enough noise between these tracks to make your ears bleed rivers of other ears, which are themselves bleeding (but like… in a good way). It kicks off with BLESSED, which I guarantee you will listen to multiple times in a row before even being able to proceed to the rest of the album (that’s what happened to me, at least). Listening to this track for prolonged periods of time though, as I found, WILL cause the band to leap out of your headphones and give you a sound thrashing, so be sure to listen to the ENTIRE ALBUM. The entire album, while heavy, is heavy in ways you wouldn’t expect (like there’s a friggin’ cello on a couple of the tracks here, WHAAT?), and also (especially in the fi nal track) offers some great melodies. While many of the tracks are mid paced, some, such as THOSE TIGHT JEANS and I JUST KEN MODE LIKED FIRE have a more noisy Success hardcore punk kinda speed and Label: Season of Mist vibe to them (both tracks are very Recorded by Steve Albini reminiscent of the amazing Ottawa band PREGNANCY SCARES, who WORD OF WARNING: IF NOT I would recommend to anyone CAREFUL, THE COLLECTIVE who digs this). HEAVINESS OF THIS ALBUM COULD CAUSE YOUR HEAD Give ‘er a listen and enjoy, and for TO IMPLODE IF PROPER anyone who REALLY digs it, come PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT out and see these guys MON TAKEN. YOU HAVE BEEN OCT 19 at yer very own friendly WARNED. neighborhood HOUSE OF TARG! Well if that doesn’t give you a proper For fans of Flipper, Pissed Jeans, introduction to this album, nothing Melvins, Childbite, and Black Flag SSKAKA JJEFF’SEFF’S HHI-FIVES:I-FIVES: TTOPOP BBLACKLACK & WWHITEHITE HHORRORORROR FFLICKSLICKS THESE OLDIES ARE GUARANTEED TO INCREASE THE CONTRAST ON YOUR TIGHTY WHITIES. HI YA SLO: WHO WILL WIN THE NEXT ELECTION? – Ned Nurvus Hey Ned Nurvus: Boy, that’s a tough one. You know the old saying: predictions can be diffi cult especially when they’re about the future! Anyhow... here’s the Slo’ Tom prediction for October 19th, 2015: the NDP will do better than expected, the Liberals will do much worse than expected, and the Conservatives will do more or less as expected. The result? 75% chance of a Conservative minority, 25% chance of a NDP minority, and no chance of the Liberals forming the next government. But hey, what do I know? Don’t forget to vote, Ned! #5. NIGHT OF THE #4. EYES WITHOUT A LIVING DEAD (1968) - A FACE (1960) - A horrifi c group of people hide from tale of guilt and obsession, HOWDEE SLO’ TOM! I WAS HIKING NEAR WAKEFIELD AND I SAW A bloodthirsty zombies in a Eyes Without a Face is WOLF! WAS I SEEING THINGS? – Wonderingly Nature Gurl farmhouse. The countless just as chilling and poetic re-makes don’t compete today as it was in 1960. with the classic. Dear Nature Gurl: I’m no dogologist (actually, until a couple years ago I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female) but I think I know #1. PYSCHO what’s going on here. You must have seen a coyote. Even those forest ranger guys with the big hats can’t tell them apart. Wolves are really (1960) - Alfred really rare, so although it’s possible you saw a wolf, it’s almost certain Hitchcock. Infamous that what you saw was a coyote. for its shower scene, but immortal for its contribution to the horror genre. This HEY THERE TOM: MY BAND WANT ME TO START WRITING SONGS. HELP! – Signed Toonless is the classic of the classics. Dear Toonless: Songwriting is an art that can take even the most gifted musician a lifetime to perfect. But who has time for that? Just listen to some old Ramones records and play the chords in reverse order until you #3. REPULSION (1965) #2. BRIDE OF Polanski’s 1st English fi lm FRANKENSTEIN fi nd something that sounds ok. Then tell the lead singer in your band that follows a schizophrenic (1935) An eccentric, he’s got to make up the lyrics because you’ve “already done the hard woman’s descent into campy, technically madness, & makes impressive, and part”. Presto! You’re a songwriter AND you get to bully your bandmate. the audience feel as frightening picture. A true You’re welcome. claustrophobic as the classic. character. HINT - all games are playable at TARG ANSWERS AT www.houseoftarg.com/answers ELIXIR WIZARD’S CORNER NEW BREW ALERT Wizard Mark does a tremendous amount of “research” sourcing out new products to stock the TARG beer fridge with. The poor guy has to drink tons of brew and go on dangerous expeditions to get the job done. One such recent mission took fearless Mark to theOttawa Craft Beer Festivalwhere he discovered a fantastic brewery called SAWDUST CITY BREWING COMPANYfrom Gravenhurst Ontario and now we are proud to welcome some of their exceptional craft beer to TARG. SKINNY DIPPIN’ STOUT Is a chocolaty, silky smooth oatmeal stout. Aromas of delicious roasted malt, chocolate and coffee leap from the glass and bring you in for the fi rst sip. MALT BILL - 2-ROW, CHOCOLATE MALT, Then it drinks like chocolate milk DARK CHOCOLATE for adults! Made from a blend of MALT, CARAFOAM, 7 different malts, Skinny Dippin’ ROASTED BARLEY, Stout is not overly heavy, but it’s VICTORY, FLAKED OATS bursting with rich malt fl avours. If you are feeling like it’s time to get HOPS - MAGNUM over your fear of dark beer this IBUS - 35 easy drinking stout from Sawdust ABV - 5.5% City is a great place to start. Beau’s All Natural present: THE BEST SAT OCT 24 – Ottawa Synths, House OF OTTAWA BURLESQUE – Shade of TARG & Ashton Brewing present: Nyx Theatre of the Macabre brings SWITCHED ON SYNTHS – Synth pop you the best of the Ottawa Burlesque edition w/ VIOLENCE (mtl) + ANDREW Scene – check out the city’s most NEWTON + CANADA HIGH – we are A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING amazing performers all in one proud to present the 2nd edition of our PLACE AT HOUSE OF TARG THIS OCTOBER Halloween themed evening!! *Mature popular electronic music series… this theme ALERT time with a pop twist!! SAT OCT 17 – House of TARG and Holdings and Beau’s All Natural WED OCT 28 – House of TARG, APT THURS OCT 1 – House of TARG and ABC Brewing present: SAINT CLAIRE present: METALIAN + CAUCHEMAR 613 & Ottawa Showbox present: PBR present: ODAWA FRIENDSHIP + RUN COYOTE + BALLAD FIASCO + BLACK TOWER – TARG favourites SUPPORT LOCAL – an amateur pinball CENTRE Benefi t Concert w/ WHITE – an intimate evening of frantic and METALIAN return to hold court tournament and perogi party!! Players DEER + DEAR BLACKWOLF + tons heartfelt fuzzy pop, twanged rock n over a sweet night of metal, epic of all skill levels welcome – fun prizes, more - Odawa Native Friendship roll & indie rock – check out some of guitarmonies, pounding rhythym and friendly competition. $1 off perogies 5pm Centre is a non-profi t organization Ontario’s coolest new projects and soaring vocals! First appearance for - 10:30pm. dedicated to enhancing the quality of enjoy the ride!! *Mr Saint Claire has CAUCHMAR since their stunning set NO COVER!! life for Aboriginal people in the Capital consistently wowed TARG audiences at the old House of TARG plus a set region.