WORDS FROM THE WIZARD WHAT THE HECK IS HOUSE OF TARG? HMMM, GOOD QUESTION. TARG IS THE NAME OF A 1980 VIDEO GAME MADE BY EXIDY, IT WAS THE FIRST GAME WE GOT & WE STILL HAVE IT. UMMM, HOUSE OF TARG IS HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT EASY TO UNDERSTAND ONCE YOU ARE HERE. JUST REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN & ALL WILL BECOME LUCID! TARG IS OTTAWA’S ONLY TRUE CLASSIC ARCADE 17 pinball machines, 26 arcade cabinets, over 100 playable titles on location! The TARG games repository runs deep & we are constantly swapping games in and out to keep the collection eclectic & fresh + we like to keep most of the classics at their original 25 cents per play.
TARG IS THE HOME OF PEROGI POWER We only serve 1 thing… handmade Perogies lovingly prepared by Wizard Punx. There are 6 varieties to choose including a Vegan offering & a sinfully delicious dessert perogi. Our kitchen stays open until 10:30pm Wed - Sun & we serve a rustic brunch on Sun.
TARG IS FAMILY AWESOME All ages are welcome to experience Pinball & Classic Arcade fun daily until 9pm. (after 9pm we switch to 19+ live music venue format). WARNING - don’t let on that you can’t resist a pint while playing Tetris at an arcade or you will never be able to use a visit to TARG as a “get the kids to bed” bargaining chip.
TARG IS A LIVE MUSIC VENUE RUN BY MUSICIANS After 9pm it’s all about the music. We work with Ottawa’s top concert promoters to bring you the best local & international Punk/Metal/Indie/ Rock bands we can fi nd. Our goal is to make live music lovers out of the entire Ottawa population.
TARG IS A FUN PLACE TO BE ON FREEPLAY SUNDAYS After 9m every Sunday we set all the games to FreePlay. For only 5 measly Canadian dollars you get all the pinball & vid action you can handle. DJ KJMAXX provides the sleazy 70’s soundtrack to your hi-score pursuits. Hope that helped YOGI will. KEN Mode are a sludge/ noise rock band from Winnipeg, and in this album is an amazing display of life-destroyingly heavy tunes, with enough noise between these tracks to make your ears bleed rivers of other ears, which are themselves bleeding (but like… in a good way). It kicks off with BLESSED, which I guarantee you will listen to multiple times in a row before even being able to proceed to the rest of the album (that’s what happened to me, at least). Listening to this track for prolonged periods of time though, as I found, WILL cause the band to leap out of your headphones and give you a sound thrashing, so be sure to listen to the ENTIRE ALBUM. The entire album, while heavy, is heavy in ways you wouldn’t expect (like there’s a friggin’ cello on a couple of the tracks here, WHAAT?), and also (especially in the fi nal track) offers some great melodies. While many of the tracks are mid paced, some, such as THOSE TIGHT JEANS and I JUST KEN MODE LIKED FIRE have a more noisy Success hardcore punk kinda speed and Label: Season of Mist vibe to them (both tracks are very Recorded by Steve Albini reminiscent of the amazing Ottawa band PREGNANCY SCARES, who WORD OF WARNING: IF NOT I would recommend to anyone CAREFUL, THE COLLECTIVE who digs this). HEAVINESS OF THIS ALBUM COULD CAUSE YOUR HEAD Give ‘er a listen and enjoy, and for TO IMPLODE IF PROPER anyone who REALLY digs it, come PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT out and see these guys MON TAKEN. YOU HAVE BEEN OCT 19 at yer very own friendly WARNED. neighborhood HOUSE OF TARG! Well if that doesn’t give you a proper For fans of Flipper, Pissed Jeans, introduction to this album, nothing Melvins, Childbite, and Black Flag SSKAKA JJEFF’SEFF’S HHI-FIVES:I-FIVES: TTOPOP BBLACKLACK & WWHITEHITE HHORRORORROR FFLICKSLICKS THESE OLDIES ARE GUARANTEED TO INCREASE THE CONTRAST ON YOUR TIGHTY WHITIES.
HI YA SLO: WHO WILL WIN THE NEXT ELECTION? – Ned Nurvus
Hey Ned Nurvus: Boy, that’s a tough one. You know the old saying: predictions can be diffi cult especially when they’re about the future! Anyhow... here’s the Slo’ Tom prediction for October 19th, 2015: the NDP will do better than expected, the Liberals will do much worse than expected, and the Conservatives will do more or less as expected. The result? 75% chance of a Conservative minority, 25% chance of a NDP minority, and no chance of the Liberals forming the next government. But hey, what do I know? Don’t forget to vote, Ned!
#5. NIGHT OF THE #4. EYES WITHOUT A LIVING DEAD (1968) - A FACE (1960) - A horrifi c group of people hide from tale of guilt and obsession, HOWDEE SLO’ TOM! I WAS HIKING NEAR WAKEFIELD AND I SAW A bloodthirsty zombies in a Eyes Without a Face is WOLF! WAS I SEEING THINGS? – Wonderingly Nature Gurl farmhouse. The countless just as chilling and poetic re-makes don’t compete today as it was in 1960. with the classic. Dear Nature Gurl: I’m no dogologist (actually, until a couple years ago I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female) but I think I know #1. PYSCHO what’s going on here. You must have seen a coyote. Even those forest ranger guys with the big hats can’t tell them apart. Wolves are really (1960) - Alfred really rare, so although it’s possible you saw a wolf, it’s almost certain Hitchcock. Infamous that what you saw was a coyote. for its shower scene, but immortal for its contribution to the horror genre. This HEY THERE TOM: MY BAND WANT ME TO START WRITING SONGS. HELP! – Signed Toonless is the classic of the classics. Dear Toonless: Songwriting is an art that can take even the most gifted musician a lifetime to perfect. But who has time for that? Just listen to some old Ramones records and play the chords in reverse order until you #3. REPULSION (1965) #2. BRIDE OF Polanski’s 1st English fi lm FRANKENSTEIN fi nd something that sounds ok. Then tell the lead singer in your band that follows a schizophrenic (1935) An eccentric, he’s got to make up the lyrics because you’ve “already done the hard woman’s descent into campy, technically madness, & makes impressive, and part”. Presto! You’re a songwriter AND you get to bully your bandmate. the audience feel as frightening picture. A true You’re welcome. claustrophobic as the classic. character. HINT - all games are playable at TARG ANSWERS AT www.houseoftarg.com/answers ELIXIR WIZARD’S CORNER NEW BREW ALERT
Wizard Mark does a tremendous amount of “research” sourcing out new products to stock the TARG beer fridge with. The poor guy has to drink tons of brew and go on dangerous expeditions to get the job done. One such recent mission took fearless Mark to the Ottawa Craft Beer Festival where he discovered a fantastic brewery called SAWDUST CITY BREWING COMPANY from Gravenhurst Ontario and now we are proud to welcome some of their exceptional craft beer to TARG.
SKINNY DIPPIN’ STOUT Is a chocolaty, silky smooth oatmeal stout. Aromas of delicious roasted malt, chocolate and coffee leap from the glass and bring you in for the fi rst sip. MALT BILL - 2-ROW, CHOCOLATE MALT, Then it drinks like chocolate milk DARK CHOCOLATE for adults! Made from a blend of MALT, CARAFOAM, 7 different malts, Skinny Dippin’ ROASTED BARLEY, Stout is not overly heavy, but it’s VICTORY, FLAKED OATS bursting with rich malt fl avours. If you are feeling like it’s time to get HOPS - MAGNUM over your fear of dark beer this IBUS - 35 easy drinking stout from Sawdust ABV - 5.5% City is a great place to start. Beau’s All Natural present: THE BEST SAT OCT 24 – Ottawa Synths, House OF OTTAWA BURLESQUE – Shade of TARG & Ashton Brewing present: Nyx Theatre of the Macabre brings SWITCHED ON SYNTHS – Synth pop you the best of the Ottawa Burlesque edition w/ VIOLENCE (mtl) + ANDREW Scene – check out the city’s most NEWTON + CANADA HIGH – we are A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING amazing performers all in one proud to present the 2nd edition of our PLACE AT HOUSE OF TARG THIS OCTOBER Halloween themed evening!! *Mature popular electronic music series… this theme ALERT time with a pop twist!!
SAT OCT 17 – House of TARG and Holdings and Beau’s All Natural WED OCT 28 – House of TARG, APT THURS OCT 1 – House of TARG and ABC Brewing present: SAINT CLAIRE present: METALIAN + CAUCHEMAR 613 & Ottawa Showbox present: PBR present: ODAWA FRIENDSHIP + RUN COYOTE + BALLAD FIASCO + BLACK TOWER – TARG favourites SUPPORT LOCAL – an amateur pinball CENTRE Benefi t Concert w/ WHITE – an intimate evening of frantic and METALIAN return to hold court tournament and perogi party!! Players DEER + DEAR BLACKWOLF + tons heartfelt fuzzy pop, twanged rock n over a sweet night of metal, epic of all skill levels welcome – fun prizes, more - Odawa Native Friendship roll & indie rock – check out some of guitarmonies, pounding rhythym and friendly competition. $1 off perogies 5pm Centre is a non-profi t organization Ontario’s coolest new projects and soaring vocals! First appearance for - 10:30pm. dedicated to enhancing the quality of enjoy the ride!! *Mr Saint Claire has CAUCHMAR since their stunning set NO COVER!! life for Aboriginal people in the Capital consistently wowed TARG audiences at the old House of TARG plus a set region. All proceeds going to The – check it out and see what the fuss is from Ottawa’s BLACK TOWER – super THURS OCT 29 – House of TARG & PBR Odawa Native Friendship Centre www. all about!! present: REMI ROYALE’s 80’s Dance odawa.on.ca Come as you are, free of stoked for this one!! *Dj VALHALLA will be spinning metal gems between and Party – dance to all your favourite 80’s judgment. MON OCT 19 – House of TARG, after bands, awesome!! hits, play TARG plinko or spin the wizard Spectrasonic & Dwyer Records wheel for ridiculous prizes including FRI OCT 2 – House of TARG present: KEN MODE + LIFE IN fresh hot dogs made on stage by the SAT OCT 10 – House of TARG, Noise and Beau’s All Natural present: VACUUM + HAMN – this JUNO Salvation and ABC Brewing present: man himself!! GUGGENHEIMER QUINTET + BUMPIN’ nominated band comes to TARG all FUCK THE FACTS + FISTFUCK + BINARY - Treat of the week ALERT – a the way from Winnipeg with their new CRUEL FATE - Bastardized grinders FRI OCT 30 – House of TARG, super awesome evening of surf inspired album ‘Success’ recorded by the hometown release show for the new Blackwidow Promotions & Beau’s All guitar wizardry performed by Ottawa’s legendary STEVE ALBINI (NIRVANA, album DESIRE WILL ROT. We are Natural present: A METAL HALLOWEEN fi nest – featuring members of POLARIS, THE JESUS LIZARD, etc) WARMUP with FOREVERMORE UVULA. THE FLAPS, HILOTRONS & stoked to have one of Ottawa’s all time revered metal bands to play the TARG + MAOU MINDU + HERE COMES UKRAINIA! *also catch Mr. Lawlor riff TUES OCT 20 – House of TARG & stage. This is a big deal for us. This BIGFOOT + THE GREAT DIVERSION + out with a sweet puppet band at the Spectrasonic present: THE ZOLAS masterful band is not to be missed. EARTHWORKS – a solid night of metal TARG Halloween party on Oct. 31st!! + ROSE QUARTZ - Vancouver indie- to get you warmed up for the most evil pop/rock rockers visit TARG for the night of the year!! WED OCT 14 – House of TARG SAT OCT 3 – House of TARG, fi rst time joined by Denver synth-pop presents: THE HEAVY MEDICINE Spectrasonic and ABC brewery present: masterminds – a killer night of live BAND + BIG MOAN + MOON SAT OCT 31 – House of TARG & Ashton ISOTOPES + MIKE KROLl + THE music. Brewing present: HALLOWEEN PSYCHO STEVE ADAMYK BAND – Vancouver’s DESTROYER THE HEAVY MEDICINE BAND (Stoner Rock) A sweet mixed PUPPET FREEPLAY PINBALL PARTY – ISOTOPES PUNK ROCK BASEBALL THURS OCT 22 – House of TARG, evening of psychedelic/stoner rock/ Halloween night is kinda like Xmas eve CLUB return to Ottawa after a killer Spectrasonic, PunkOttawa & PBR heavy soul/ electric lowrider/doom/ to all the wizards at TARG – this year will show at Ottawa Explosion 2013 with present: K.I.D. + BEACHES + THE garage. *We are now open every Wed be better than ever!! Dress up in your super special guest MIKE KROL STRAIN – Toronto based indie/synth at 5pm for our After School Special – best costume and enjoy our interactive (Madison Power Pop) and Ottawa pop/ pop meets indie rock, brought to you 1$ off any perogi plate till 10:30pm!! puppet booths, win fun prizes while punk darlings THE STEVE ADAMYK by our pals at SPECTRASONIC - playing “who’s in the casket” or spill your BAND *its startin’ to get a little chilly out Ottawa’s top concert promoter!! guts in our puppet confessional – no THURS OCT 15 – House of TARG, but that won’t dissuade Mr. Adamyk FRI OCT 23 – House of TARG, Bangarang, Ottawa Ska Syndicate and need for change in your pockets – all from sporting his signature cutoff action Spectrasonic & Beau’s All Natural PBR present: VOICE OF THE PEOPLE: games are set to freeplay!! Special show/ present: THE STANDSTILLS + SAY SKA NITE w/sg THE SENTRIES - presentation at midnight – it’s gonna WED OCT 7 – Closed for private event YES + EAGLESON – a straight happening the mid Thursday of be bananas!! Dj’s KJMAXXX & REMI up night of rock n roll action from every month and featuring DJs and ROYALE keep the fl oor shakin’ till 2am. THURS OCT 8 – Closed for private Oshawa, Burlington & Ottawa – the live bands playing the best Ska and fundraiser world cried “more cowbell!!” and THE Reggae Music to make you move. STANDSTILLS replied “no problem!!” FRI OCT 9 – House of TARG, Valhalla FRI OCT 16 – House of TARG and WIZARD OF THE MONTH ULA-LA
ULA-LA IS ONE OF THE FRIENDLIEST ELIXIR WIZARDS YOU WILL EVER MEET. SHE HAS LIVED ALL OVER CANADA BUT, THANKFULLY, SETTLED IN OUR TOWN. SHE IS WORKING TOWARDS A CAREER IN EDUCATION AND PLAYS A HUGE PART AS VOLUNTEER WITH THE OTTAWA EXPLOSION WEEKEND MUSIC FESTIVAL. IN THE PAST SHE WAS AN AQUA AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR. OH YA SHE INSISTED ON USING A 1ST GENERATION IPHONE FOR THIS PHOTO.
FAVE ALBUM Yellowteeth - gets in car
FAV CONCERT AT TARG Halloween 2014. The “Who’s in the casket?” game was super fun.
FAVE GAME AT TARG Hurricane pinball. I like it because of all the literal bells & whistles
WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUME ”cirque de soleil” I thought i was being creative but it just made kids cry.
FAV LOCAL BAND Blue Angel - amazing shows with awesome costumes! HALLOWEEN TOYS SPOOKTACULAR EMS VCS3 - 1969 Controlled by a military grade joystick & was so nuts only a rocket scientist/brain surgeon/music genius could make it produce a melody. Nearly all of the Pink Floyd band members claimed to have played the VCS3 on the liner notes of Dark Side of the Moon… Ya right guys, smoke another one.
OBERHEIM OB-XA - 1980 Ever hear that song “JUMP” by Van Halen? Well this was the bad boy responsible for those deep dish sounds & true to Eddie’s rocker spirit, it was played through a Marshall Stack.
MOOG MINIMOOG - 1970 Heard on everything from Kraftwerk’s Autobahn to the baseline for Michael Jackson’s Thriller - this YAMAHA CS-80 1976 instrument revolutionized pop Technology can be used for both good and evil… proof is music. No MINIMOOG = NO that the CS-80 was used both on Paul McCartney’s mega DEVO Mongoloid. All hail the annoying ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ and on a large amount of Minimoog. Doctor Who’s ’80s soundtracks including the ring modulated sting sound that opened the theme music.
FAIRLIGHT CMI - 1979 All you need to know is that Jan Hammer used this monster to create the worlds fi rst un-humable song: ARP 2500 - 1970 ‘Miami Vice Theme’ in 1984. This monophonic analog modular synthesizer’s most notable Go ahead just try to hum it. usage was in the motion picture Close Encounters of the Third Kind. 45 years later it’s still the best shot we have at communicating with aliens. Geoff’ motto is “Have fun playin’ them, have fun fi xin’ them.” Although he would rather be “pushin’ buttons than turning screws”, he’s committed to making sure the machines work so that players can get the full experience the game was designed to deliver. “Have fun Many visitors to TARG ask - where do all the games come from - short answer is playin’ them, Geoff Parr. He has been with TARG since the beginning and operates half the games have fun at our place. To us, he’s the Godfather of BALLY NIP IT (1973) Pinball in Ottawa and a fi ne example of the The game that started it all for NEVER GIVE UP ethos. fi xin’ them.” Pinhead Amusements operator Geoff Parr. Geoff’s obsession with the silver ball began According to Geoff, arcade life is in 1974 at the age of 7 when he fi rst played far from glamorous: many hours Bally’s NIP IT at the K-Mart in Bells Corners. are required to maintain these temperamental machines, lots of The rest of his youth was dedicated to back breaking physical labour is traveling around Ottawa in search of pinball involved & the fi nancial payoff is which is how he met Guy, an arcade quite modest humble. So what technician who would eventually become motivates a man to dedicate 30 Geoff’s mentor and source of inspiration. years of his life to such a volatile & challenging pursuit? In 1985 he fi nally landed a job as low man on the pole at Future Amusements Well it’s in his blood and the (the Imperial Arcade that was beside passion for pinball he acquired Barrymore’s). Eventually his curiosity drove as a kid never died. Even the him to ask the boss if he could re-build strong steady decline of public an unservicable JOUST machine that was interest in arcade amusements on “death row”. He was told it was an since the 80’s & pressure to leave impossible project but 2 days later Geoff it all behind for a day job wasn’t got the ostrich wings fl appin’ & secured enough to NIP IT. an offi cial Arcade Technician position. The rest is history & now Mr. Parr NEVER GIVE UP! THE WALKING DEAD is Geoff’s runs his own company Pinhead We are grateful Geoff didn’t. new fav game. Checkout his killer Amusements. score & smug display of happiness!