FREE Lodging • Shopping Dining • Entertainment

101425 Overseas Hwy. • PMB #628 • , FL 33037 • 305-304-2837 • www.theconchtelegraph.com • Feb. 2011

Inside Student Shares Stage with Mourning Wild Bird Center Rescues Hawks

Attractions Hunk of the Month ...Dave Sheehan Entertainer of the Month ...Mike Mitzner Bartender of the Month ...Melissa Allen Artist of the Month ...Omar Perez

Map Getting From Here to There

Special Events Locals’ Art Show, Feb. 12 & 13

What’s Hot & What’s Not Conch Characters Coconut Funnies

All the Buzz Beyond Behavior Defense Mechanisms Keys Compatibility Test for Lovers It’s Not Always a Match Made Mark your calendar for this year’s St. Patrick's Day extravaganza, March 17th. See back page for more info. 2 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 3 Coconut Telegraph Cast of Characters: Articles Hunk of the Month February 2011 Editor/Sales/Distribution Entertainer of the Month, Mike Mitzner ...... 4 Volume 6 Issue #47 Eighth Annual Locals’ Art Show ...... 5 Dave Sheehan Denise Malefyt Local Student Shares Stage with Alonzo Mourning...... 6 Prestige Publishing, Inc Dreaver Family Transforms Tropical Arts & Crafts...... 7 101425 New Website Lists Non-Profits Needs...... 8 Owner of Keys PMB #628 Bartender of the Month, Melissa Allen...... 9 Key Largo, FL 33037 Advertising Wild Bird Center Rescues and Releases Two Hawks ...... 10 Adventure Watersports Production Phone 305-304-2837 Beyond Behavior, Defense Mechanisms ...... 11 Sue Beal Getting from Here to There- map page ...... 12 Deadline Artist of the Month, Omar Perez ...... 15 Conch Characters ...... 16 for the Coconut Telegraph’s Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet ...... 18 March issue is Centennial Bank Recognizes Star Tellers ...... 19 Wednesday Dancing Classrooms County Site Expansion ...... 19 February 23, 2011 Toys for Tots Donated ...... 20 Business in the Keys ...... 21 Call Denise at Coconut Funnies ...... 22 305-304-2837 Keys Compatibility Test for Lovers ...... 23 [email protected] It’s Not Always a Match Made in Heaven ...... 23

Editorial: Advice for Tourists and Day-trippers

Before the new Jewfish Creek Bridge protected and they seem to know it. If you the seafood fresh from the fishermen. was built I owned a visitor center located have only one day in the Keys this is a must After tasting fresh fish, lobster and crab at Gilbert's Resort. The purpose of that see. But you have to get on a boat because you will swear off the frozen forever. Rent boats and waverunners from type of business is to book hotel rooms and it is four miles of shore out in the ocean. There are no public sandy beaches in water sports including fishing trips, All along the highway there are snorkel Key Largo. The closest is Anne's Beach MM February’s Hunk of the Month at snorkeling, waverunner rentals, glass and dive shops, pick one, they all go to the 73.8. If you are short on time Gilbert's Gilbert’s Resort, MM 108. bottom boat trips, and more. While there I reef. We like Sundiver Station because Resort at MM 108 has a beach and they heard some of the frustrating tourist they are friendly and dependable. If you welcome visitors but coolers are not Shirts by T-Toons questions all locals have been asked. don't want to get wet, we recommend a trip allowed. You are welcome to enjoy the Question like: "We only have 2 hours, what on the Key Largo Princess Glass Bottom beach and pool but food and drinks must be can we see and do in the Keys?" or "We Boat (see page 12 for coupon). Food and purchased at the tiki bar or inside the air brought a cooler, where is the beach?" The drinks are available and you can kick back conditioned restaurant. Boat and worst one was "Can we walk to the reef?" and relax while the narrator describes the waverunner rentals are also available. And So here is some information and advice different coral and sea life. It is you can always just sit back and enjoy the for people visiting our beautiful Florida educational as well and fun for the whole live local entertainment and watch the Keys… family. boats come and go. The are famous for our If you only have a couple of hours the Changing your itinerary and deciding to Coral Reef State Park. Nowhere else in the next best thing in the Keys is our fabulous stay longer is HIGHLY recommended. continental U.S. can you see live coral. It is fresh seafood. In this newspaper you will Gilbert's has reasonable motel rates with hard to describe the incredible beauty. find only the very best restaurants in the views of the water. Please enjoy your stay Since it is a state park the fish are Upper Keys. These restaurant owners buy and come back often.

Disclaimer The Coconut Telegraph C 2006 is published monthly by Prestige Publishing, INC. All publisher. The Coconut Telegraph assumes in good faith that all editorial and rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written advertising material submitted are the original property of the advertiser. The Coconut consent of the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph welcomes written articles, photos, Telegraph may not be held responsible for errors, omissions, or for circumstances and artwork of local interest to be used and/or edited at the discretion of the beyond our control that may affect the distribution schedule. 4 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 5 Entertainer of the Month Eighth Annual Locals’ Art Show, Feb. 12 and 13

Mike Mitzner at Sharkey’s Pub Once again, it is time for the infamous “Pigeon Poop” Art strong following of its own. This year over 50 artists will Show. Although the “Pigeon Poop” nickname may rouse participate including award winning painters, metal workers, thoughts to duck and wood workers, potters, The great Yogi Berra once said "This is like deja vu all over Entertainer's of the Month. They both later went on to play cover, artists and locals fabric artists, glass again!" No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Mike solo. have been flocking to the artists, photographers, and Mitzner is the only musician in the history of the Coconut And this month Mitzner is featured solo. show for eight years. Also jewelers. A mix of new and Telegraph to ever be featured as Entertainer of the Month Mitzner discovered music at age six when he sat at his know as the “Locals’ Art returning artists, as well as three times. grandmother’s piano and started played along with the Show,” artists will be selected national artists The musical phenomenon commercials on TV, finding displaying their work keeps the show interesting. was first featured in the the melody by ear. He is February 12 and 13 in front Adding to this year’s April 2008 issue (see completely self-taught on the of the Marathon Winn excitement is a book theconchtelegraph.com guitar as well. Dixie right on US 1 at MM signing by John and Bette archives for the original "No lessons, just using my 50.2 Mojjis, former owners of story) as one half of the ears and watching others", he The success of the the Dirty Dancing movie extraordinary duo Mike and says. event can be attributed to site. This is the first time Drein. Drein Vernon was From sixth grade through the diverse group of their book Dirty Dancing! Mike's partner, girlfriend and college he has played artists assembled by Hey Baby Let’s Dirty best friend. Together they baritone, trombone and organizers and the Dance will be presented. It were one of the most sought trumpet in symphonic and enthusiasm of participants tells of the before, during, after singing sensations to concert bands. who enjoy taking part in an and after filming and Come see local artist display their work on February 12 and 13 in front of the ever rock the Keys. They even He is also an A.S.E. event with a colorful Marathon Winn Dixie at mile marker 50.2, oceanside. features many photographs produced a CD together called certified auto technician with history. The show was from their private "Live, Loud, and Proud" which 24 years experience and for originally started by local collection. The Ghosts of was recorded live at the the last 14 years he has been artists who were left out of the larger Art Show Lake Lure Inn, where the cast and crew stayed amusingly Caribbean Club. working at Vic's Auto on in favor of national applicants. Today, artists are just as narrate the stories. Don’t miss this fun addition! Continued on page 20... We are very sad to say . proud to take part in the Locals Art Show which has earned a that shortly after the article To hear Mitzner play stop appeared in the Coconut by Sharkey's Pub any Tuesday Telegraph Drein, then age 43, night. passed away in her sleep. "I love playing at While all the Sharkey's because it is like mourned Mitzner was playing at my house! Friends, devastated. Most people family, laughter and good would have crawled into their shell, but he grabbed his guitar times,” Mike tells us. “Plus I don't have to worry about and sat in with any entertainer who would let him. cleaning up afterward!" "Music is my therapy. It's my balance,” explains Mitzner. In his free time Mitzner hangs out at home with his four “When life starts to spiral out of control music pulls me back cats and dog, cruises around on his boat and checks out local and keeps me grounded. Life goes on." music, dives and fishes. In June of 2009. Mitzner and Dwayne McGregor had For more about his music you can contact Mike Mitzner at formed the duo "Just Not Right" and were featured as 305-394-0235 6 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 7 Local Student Shares Dreaver Family Transforms Tropical Arts & Crafts

Stage with The Dreaver family is at it again.. You may know the begun taking requests and special orders for those who are Dreaver family as the owners and operators of the Key Largo interested in product they cannot find on the walls. This little Conch House restaurant for store is a much-needed great Alonzo Mourning over six years. Now their son addition to the Artisan Jon Dreaver and his wife community of the Florida Keys. Students, Mentors, Staff, Penagos shared the podium with Joanna and her sister Fannoula They are celebrating their and Monroe County Education Featured Speaker, Alonzo are starting a new business in grand opening the first week Foundation (MCEF) board Mourning, noted basketball star the Tradewinds Plaza by of the month providing members recently traveled of the Miami Heat and South Publix. The trio is catered coffee & North. Their destination was Florida philanthropist. Penagos transforming the previously refreshments from the Conch Ocean Reef, their purpose was expressed her thanks to the owned Tropical Arts & Crafts House. Also they will be to attend the Florida Keys Take Stock Program, Margie store into an “artist haven” conducting their first craft Children’s Foundation luncheon Smith (her mentor) and the for all levels of artists and class for children and adults at the Ocean Reef Town Hall. members of the Florida Keys “crafters.” making Valentine’s Day crafts Anamaria Penagos, a senior Take Children’s Foundation for their The Key Largo Conch House on Sunday, February 6 from 1 Stock in Children scholar at support in making her future is known for its tradition of to 5 p.m. Coral Shores High School, had possible. working with and being a part Tropical Arts & Craft the privilege of addressing the Penagos hopes to study of the community and the Supplies services include: Arts over 500 attendees. Penagos genetics and pursue a future in Dreaver’s intend to continue & Crafts Supplies, classes, spoke about her dreams and medicine. She is a strong that tradition with this little professional grade Canon aspirations as she completes the representative of the Take gem of a store. copiers, black & white & color Take Stock program, graduates Stock mission to support Jon, Joanna and Fannoula copies, faxing, laminating, free from high school, and begins her academic success, high personal are hoping that you never have to make the trek North to wifi, mailbox services, gift wrapping and more. post-secondary education. Ms. goals and college achievements. Micheals or Joanne’s Fabrics again. They are working hard to So come and visit the store and become part of the family maximize the inventory of their modest store front and have at Tropical Arts & Crafts Supplies.

“Take Stock in Children is committed to the success of each and every student. Local program partners across the state work side by side with mentors, school officials, and parents to ensure that each student receives the highest quality of service throughout their middle and high school career.”

For more information visit www.takestockinchildren.org 8 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 9 New Website Lists Bartenders of the Month Non-Profit Needs Melissa Allen

A non-profit in the Keys who created the website, at Sundowners needs patio furniture. even people who recycle Another is looking for forget that reuse is a great frozen corn. And a third way to reduce our trash. Rarely do we find a sunsets are awesome and the could use paper towels. In “Whether you have old bartender of the month that food is consistently delicious." fact, local non-profit groups sheets and towels or a comes as highly recommended The Coconut Telegraph have a laundry list of many discarded computer monitor, as Melissa Allen at Sundowners wholeheartedly agrees! common items they need, a musical instrument your Restaurant located at MM 104 One happy customer wrote some on a regular basis. At child no longer plays or a on the bayside. She is friendly, this review about Sundowners, the same time, many local bulletin board stored in a professional, beautiful and "Melissa was my server and residents have these very box somewhere, there’s fast to greet and seat you she could not have been things, some of them probably a non-profit group with a smile. friendlier nor provided me destined for the trash, but in the Keys that can put it Allen moved to Key Largo better service. Wish I had don’t know where or to to good use,” he says. from Rochester, New York to found this place earlier in my whom to donate them. “Keysreuse.com ensures that take a temporary position at stay.” Now a new local website your possessions will now be the Ocean Reef Club Spa. Soon When Allen is off she likes has been launched that reused and not end up in the after she applied and was to spend time with friends at seeks to match what people landfill or incinerated. Plus, hired at Sundowners where Cactus Jack's, go fishing, might have in storage with it’s a great way to help she has been employed for kayaking or take her dog to what non-profit groups these organizations during three and a half years. the dog park. require. The site, tough times.” "I came to the Keys for a Sundowners Dining is Keysreuse.com, lists nearly Keysreuse.com is updated temporary job and loved it so available inside with air 200 different things from on a regular basis as much I stayed,” says Allen. conditioning or outside in a household cleaning products additional non-profits are “No more winter snow and it's tropical beach like atmosphere. and office supplies to added or those items that so nice here!". In the month of February if appliances that cash- are listed are no longer When asked what she likes you get there before 6 p.m. strapped groups require. needed. Currently 23 non- about her job she happily tells you won't miss the famous Key Much of this stuff might be profits from all parts of the us, "The employees, the Largo sunset. in storage closets, lying Keys are listed. customers, the management is For reservations call 305- unused in drawers, or even Any local non-profit that great, the regulars and locals, 451-4502. And when you go, in trash bins waiting for wants to be added to the everything, especially the tell Melissa the Coconut pickup. website should contact panoramic view of the bay. The Telegraph sent you. According to Marathon Welber at resident Michael Welber, [email protected].

VISIT www.KEYSREUSE.com AND MAKE DONATING EASY! 10 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 11 Wild Bird Center Rescues and Releases Two Hawks Beyond Behavior

Two female immature Broad- would have died within the hour. Hawk was clipped by a car on from the trauma. She was Defense Mechanisms Winged Hawks were recently We could tell she was rescued the Overseas Highway on treated for shock and returned to the wild after a bit gently because she didn’t inhale December 22 and dropped off emaciation. Initially separated of help from the Florida Keys in the Hospital’s ICU, each of Defense mechanism being direct and honest. Some Wild Bird Center. The first the hawks re-gained over 10% behaviors that have worked of us may have taken refuge hawk was rescued by a visiting of their body weight on a diet for you in the past may not in the lives of others, family aboard one of Captain including mice, quail, chicks, and fit you anymore and need to discovering ways to direct Sterling’s Everglades Tours on vitamins. About a week later change. attention away from ourselves December 21. While the tour- they were advanced to pre- We all have defense entirely. Throwing ourselves group was traveling through release caging for flight mechanisms that we’ve into projects or rescuing Adams Cut, the water-logged conditioning, where they developed over time, often others from themselves can bird was spotted floating and recovered together. without being aware of it. In be effective ways to avoid trapped in a cave-like crevice in Broad-Winged Hawks times of trouble, the dealing with our own issues. the canal. “One of the kids summer and breed throughout behaviors that have worked And when people are truly spotted the hawk first,” Says the Eastern United States and to get us past challenges with helped by our actions, we get Captain Dave Eaton, who was into Canada but the majority of the least amount of pain are the added bonus of feeling heading the eco-tour that day. the population heads for the ones that we repeat; even heroic. But while defenses “It was incredibly camouflaged- warmer wintering grounds on a when part of us knows they can keep away the things we even looking directly at the bird migratory path that leads down no longer work. Such behavior fear, they can also work to it was hard to spot. I was to Central and South America is a natural response from our keep our good from us. amazed he noticed it at all.” via Mexico during the early Fall. mental and physical aspects. When we can be honest Captain Eaton eased the A fraction of Broad Wings, But because we are spiritual with ourselves about what we boat towards the crevice. Then particularly Juveniles, winter in beings as well, we have the truly desire, then we can the teenager volunteered to lay South Florida, especially in the ability to rise above habits connect our desires to the down on the boat deck and Florida Keys. and patterns to see the truth creative power of the spirit reached for the bird with a “When you spot birds in the that lay beyond. And from within us. Knowing that we are towel. He scooped it up in a Keys, much like when we meet that moment on, we can make one with the energy of the bundle and the boat headed tourists, it’s a lot of fun to choices that allow us to work universe allows us release any back for Sundowner’s. They imagine where they are from. directly from that place of need for defense. Trusting called the bird in to the These birds can actually be truth within us. that power, we know that we FKWBC’s emergency hotline; from as far away as Thunder Most of our defense are exactly where we are staff retrieved her and rushed Bay Canada, Detroit, or Maine,” mechanisms were developed in meant to be, and that her to the hospital where she comments Larned. ”You start to childhood; from the moment challenges bring gifts of was slowly warmed by a heat- truly appreciate how pivotal that we realized crying would growth and experience. When light and then re-hydrated. Keys habitat is to sustaining get us the attention we we can put down arms raised “She was in advanced wildlife populations that we craved. Passive aggressive in defense, then we are free hypothermia,” comments Lela any water during the rescue, so to the FKWBC by an anonymous actually share with the rest of ways of communicating may to use our hands, minds, Larned, FKWBC’s Director. “If important for her recovery.” Samaritan. Fortunately she did North America.” have allowed us to get what hearts and spirits to mold and they hadn’t scooped her up she The second Broad-Winged not suffer any broken bones we needed without being shape our abundant energy to scolded, punished or laughed create and live our lives. at, so we learned to avoid

Reprinted from DailyOM - Inspirational thoughts for a happy, healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com. 12 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 13 14 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 15

Searching for a night of musical theater and laughs Artist of the Month DW D ORZ SULFH" -RLQ ZKDW ORFDO .H\·V UHJXODUV KDYH come to expect from the Keys Players and their delightful stage antics. Sit back, with a glass of Omar Perez wine in hand and cookies on your lap and watch our local thespians awaken your laugh track and set your IHHW D·GDQFLQ Web Designer This month the Key Players offer… direct from Off-Broadway… the splashy, zippy, new musical comedy about a colorful group of die-hard Bingo players. During this uproarious new musical comedy, the audience plays three games of bingo, which SURGXFHV WKUHH OXFN\ ZLQQHUV DW HYHU\ SHUIRUPDQFH 3OD\ %LQJR DV LW·V QHYHU EHHQ SOD\HG EHIRUH

Produced by Nancy Wells and directed by Tom Cindy Hollingsworth Lisa Wetzel Butler, Bingo is about long-time friends and Bingo players whose lives are thrown into a tizzy when a young stranger blows through the bingo hall and makes them confront their past, to great chagrin DQG FRPLF UHOLHI 7KH VKRZ·V FDVW LQFOXGHV &LQG\ Hollingsworth, Lisa Wetzel, Patrice Messina, Berna- dette Restivo, Charlene Sammis, Chris Elwood and Jay Kasprisin.

Bernadette RestivoChris Elwood Charlene Sammis Producer presents Born in Texas but having assistant editor (the now- NANCY WELLS spent most of his time in defunct Upper Keys Times) Director Miami, Web designer Omar closed, leaving him with few TOM BUTLER Perez was originally a choices for staying in the Musical Director CINDY reporter and editor for Keys. Luckily, he picked up HOLLINGSWORTH various daily and weekly enough clients during the Starring: newspapers in South Florida. first couple of years that he CINDY He made the shift to Web was able to go at it on his HOLLINGSWORTH LISA WETZEL design in the early 2000s. He own. Today he maintains Keys PATRICE MESSINA ran an online music magazine Web sites that run the BERNADETTE with the help of a friend gamut, from marinas to Jay Kasprisin Patrice Messina Russ Heasley RESTIVO from England who served as charter captains to several CHARLENE SAMMIS CHRIS ELWOOD Webmaster. Eventually, the nonprofit organizations. JAY KASPRISIN bloke found a day job and had While no longer a resident Produced by arrangement with BINGO LICENSING. A hilarious musical with a tuneful score and little time to devote to the of the Keys (Perez lived in outrageously funny book that leaves its aspiring site. That’s when Key Largo for 7 years, but audiences’ pulses racing! Book by Michael Heitzman and Ilene Reid. Music and Lyrics by Michael Heitzman, Ilene Reid & David Holcenberg Perez started dabbling with continues to visit regularly), the Web. he still runs Keys clients’ Join the Bingo fun with performances on Feb. 16, 18, 19 Key Largo Lion’s Club Doors Open at 7pm for Seating “I just learned from trial sites from Lake Mary, near and 25, 26, and March 4 and 5th. Tickets are $16 in MM 99.6 Oceanside • Behind TIB Bank Admission $16 in Advance or $18 at the Door and error,” he says. “I’d sit Orlando. “There’s very little advance or $18 at the door. Doors open at the Key Largo WED. FRI. SAT. FRI. SAT. FRI. SAT. Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Feb. Mar. Mar. behind computer code and that you cannot do over the /LRQ·V &OXE DW 00  2FHDQVLGH EHKLQG 7,% %DQN DW manipulate it to see what phone or email,” he says. 7pm, Performances begin at 8pm. 16 18 19 25 26 4 5 happened. I still learn People are sometimes 8 PM 8 PM 8 PM 8 PM 8 PM 8 PM 8 PM something new every day; the surprised at both the CURTAIN CURTAIN CURTAIN CURTAIN CURTAIN CURTAIN CURTAIN Advance tickets are on sale at Tropical Arts and Crafts, Web continues to evolve.” complexity and ease of 00 FHDQ  7KH 836 6WRUH 00 2FHDQ DQG Advance tickets available for specific dates at these locations: Ticket outlets have a limited number of advance tickets, so buy early. He continued to write and creating a site. Sometimes 3RVW1HW 6WRUH 002FHDQ  7LFNHWV DUH OLPLWHG VR edit during the day, but what looks simple may require Tropical Arts & Crafts 305-451-5461 The UPS Store 305-453-4877 PostNet Store 305-853-1101 EX\ HDUO\ )RU PRUH LQIRUPDWLRQ YLVLW Tradewinds Plaza (MM101.5 Ocean) Waldorf Plaza (MM 99.6 Ocean) Islamorada (MM 88 Ocean) moonlighted creating Web complex code, and what ZZZWKHNH\SOD\HUVRUJ RU FDOO  sites. Eventually, the appears complex is just a few For more info call: 305-453-0997 or visit: www.thekeyplayers.org newspaper where he was Continued on page 20... 16 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 17 Coconut Conch Characters and More Conch Characters of the Month

C hilli Willie's has a gre at game room. Take the whole family!

oose. e Islamorada M nut's p Bradeen at th ane Society at Coco Lisa and Ski Carla from the Hum White Party.

Daft Like Jack pre forms at the Loreli.

Melanie and George at Gilbert's.

Jason and les Salon. friends at Sha f Tropical sty rkey's Pub. cy owners o Tina and Tra

t) and Bob rt Kelly Smith (lef At Gilbert's Reso ounders of Gilmore (right) F ganizers of the Keys and Or Bikers Guide to rgie ty stand with Ma un for Pirate Boo Charity R d Way of the resident of Unite Smith (center), P Florida Keys.

e Big Chill. utiful Amanda at th Cocon The bea ut's annual white pa This pet grooming sa rty is always a huge lon comes to your door! success. 18 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 19 Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet Centennial Bank Dancing Classrooms

Meet a few of the animals who are currently available for adoption at the Key Largo Animal Shelter. If you are interested in taking one of these adorable furry friends home stop by or call. The Shelter is located at mile marker 106 Oceanside; phone 305-451-0088. Recognizes Star Tellers County Site Expansion

Buddy Diego Magellon Centennial Bank providing best-in-class congratulates the following customer service, Centennial employees for earning the Bank designed the Star Star Teller Award: Fausta Teller Program, a monthly Moreira (Main branch), recognition, that showcases Courtney Bohnstedt & Joani the importance of error- Towe (Islamorada branch), free work. Tellers are Darlene rewarded for Lance Samuels (Big maintaining Penny Pine Key Our Star Teller Centennial Betty branch), Cintia Bank’s standard Companioni, program sets the of customer Denisse Parrado service, & Sally Glass bar for the meaning they (Midtown quality service have no Branch unscheduled Marathon) absences, and Three new Dancing Classrooms Teaching Artists recently attended training we wish in New York City. Pictured from left: Sondra Esquinaldo, K.C. Flumerfeldt, April Serpa that for every Dancing Classrooms Founder Pierre Dulaine, and Karen Beauprie. ( to see from our given number of Roosevelt transactions Ricky Rose Romeo Slate Zena branch), Joyski employees! there are a Dancing Classrooms was and the Florida Keys Council Carrasco (Key minimal number piloted in Marathon Schools of the Arts. Dancing Largo branch). of errors. Each in January of 2009. This Classrooms recently “Our Star Teller program Star Teller receives a research-based program completed 5th and 8th grade sets the bar in regards to monetary award and a chronicled in the films Mad residencies at Plantation Key the quality of service we Golden Star to be placed on Hot Ballroom and Take the School. wish to see from our his or her nameplate, Lead . This program was Residencies have begun at employees,” states Teresa indicating to customers the made possible through the Glynn Archer, Sugarloaf, Condas, President of teller provides stellar Educational Coalition for Montessori Elementary Centennial Bank’s Florida customer service. Monroe County (ECMC) in Charter, Stanley Switlik, Key Region. “Each employee on A $3.8 billion institution, collaboration with the Largo School, ACE and Keys the list deserves recognition Centennial Bank is a part of American Ballroom Theatre Center. for their dedication and Home Bancshares NYC and Monroe County Dancing Classrooms is in attention to detail.” (NASDAQ: HOMB). For School District, sponsored in need of financial support, to In appreciation of the more information, please part by the ECMC Incredible make a donation or for more challenges tellers have in visit my100bank.com. Fruit Stand, State of Florida information please call 305- Division of Cultural Affairs 743-6215.

Anyone Lose a Cat? 20 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 21 Artist of the Month Toys for Tots Donated

...continued from page 15 took time and resources to Business in the Keys clicks of work. “Web design promote a Web site.” is different from graphic The advent of social design. There are some media sites have definitely similar elements, but with helped, but he says it’s the Web, for example, you important to pay attention to have to create visuals that one’s business or personal download fast, can be read Web site. by the various browsers “On Facebook or on (Internet, Mozilla), and can similar sites, you can’t really be picked up by the various have your own identity; all search engines (Yahoo, pages are cookie cutter. Google).” With your own site, you can “Once there might have stand out,” he says. been a stipulation that if you For more information on build a Web site, they’ll Omar Perez’ Web design, come. Truth is that it was visit www.upperkeys.net, or never like that. It always call 453-4281.

Photo by Glenn Hoover

Just a few of the toys that were donated at the Locals Art Show Ocean View Lounge for Toys for Tots. Great job!

...continued from page 5. art. So come on out and see Organizers intend for the for yourself. show to compliment rather The show is open to the than compete with the public from 10a.m. – 5p.m. on Pigeon Key Show, and hope Saturday and Sunday; That’s Entertainment! people will attend both to Admission is free. Parking is view as wide a range of art also free of charge and as they can. Art starts as conveniently located in the low as $5 and goes up to the Winn Dixie parking lot next The Keys Community Concert Band highest end of the spectrum. to the show. Mark you presents There is something for calendars; The Locals’ everyone at this great event. Pigeon Poop Art Show on “That’s Entertainment!” If you can’t find something February 12 and 13 is you like, you just don’t like definitely worth a visit. February 19 • 4 PM at Founders Park, Islamorada, MM 87

Bring the family to this free outdoor band concert For more information call 853-7294.

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS HERE! Call 305-304-2837 [email protected] 22 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011 • 23 Coco‘Nut’ Funnies Keys Compatibility It's Not Always a Match Test for Lovers Made in Heaven You and your lover, mate, spouse, friend, "significant other", whatever, Word Play Need a New Scarf? should each answer the following questions independently. Compare your answers. Getting Rid of Blind Dates How Compatible Are You? or a Play on Words Tired of no one noticing you? 1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the Sick of being ignored? Are you tired of being overlooked? 1. If the two of you could be instantly transported for one day together, impression that you’ll stab anyone who reaches for it. which would you select? 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and have been done. It may If so, get a new scarf! a. Key Largo Avenge or revenge? balance them in a tower on your table. Avenge is a verb. To or may not be heartfelt Try the latest scarf fashion and you too b. Islamorada will be the center of attention! c. Key West 3. Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. avenge is to punish a i.e. a person may 4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. wrongdoing with the apologize without feeling 2. The two of you would have the most fun together doing which of the 5. Repeat every third third word you say say. intent of seeing justice any remorse. following? 6. Give your claim to fame as being voted “Most Festerous” in your high done. "I'm sorry" is a truer a. Dancing the night away at Gilbert's Resort school yearbook. b. Watching sports on TV at Sharkey's Pub 7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date. Revenge can be used admission of regret. It is c. Going shopping at Winn Dixie as a noun or a verb. It is what we may call a 8. Stare at your date’s neck, and grind your teeth audibly. 3. Which of these is the most romantic Valentine's Day gift? 9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don’t know what a. A dessert at The Key Largo Conch House they are talking about. b. A glass bottom boat ride on the Key Largo Princess 10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms c. Jewelry from Coral Financial Jewelry and Pawn outstretched, and make airplane sounds. 11. Order a bucket of lard. 4. Select the most romantic way to have Valentine's Day dinner together: a. Dinner at Pierre's 12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier b. Moonlight glow-in-the-dark picnic at Turkey Point venues that use linen tablecloths. c. Takeout pizza from the Big Chill 13. Howl and whistle at women's’ legs, especially if you are female. 14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets. 5. Which do you consider the most romantic Keys music ... 15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins a. Jimmy Ray at the Big Chill talking about themselves. b. Alan Truesdell at Sharkey's c. EGO at Gilbert's 16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme. d. Bolivar at Morada Bay 17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food. e. Any as long as it is at the Island Grill 18. Without asking, eat off your date’s plate. Eat more from their plate than they do. more personal and less heartfelt apology. If 6. Where is the most romantic place to make love? 19. Drool. a. In the back seat of Mom's Taxi 20. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray concerned with justice someone says they are b. In the hotel pool and more about sorry but do not feel c. On a nude beach in Key West crumbs. retaliation by inflicting remorse, then they are d. On a golf cart at Ocean Reef 21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it arriving. 22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head harm. lying. 7. Which of these is the sexiest outfit on a woman? waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the a. Shorts and flip flops restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask b. A low-cut sundress Sympathy or empathy? Knowledge or wisdom? him/her “What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?” c. A fishing shirt and boots Sympathy implies a Knowledge is 23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you. feeling of recognition of information of which 8. A man would be sexiest wearing which of the following ... 24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for some of their food. another's suffering while someone is aware. It is a. A Monroe County Sheriff's Deputy uniform 25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing empathy is actually also used to mean the b. An apron the subject up. c. A speedo sharing another's suffering, confident understanding 26. Ask your date how much money they have with them. 27. Order for your date. Order something nasty. if only briefly. of a subject and the 9. Which of the following is the most pleasant way to spend a weekend 28. Communicate in mime the entire evening. Empathy is the ability ability to use it for a morning together? a. Going to bed after staying up all night 29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, to "put ones self in specific purpose. b. Going out for brunch at the Buzzard's Roost where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you another's shoes". Wisdom is the ability to c. Watching sports on TV at D-Hooker's can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous. make correct judgments 30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs. 10. Which of the following is the most relaxing? 31. Hum. Loudly. In monotone. I'm sorry or I apologize? and decisions. Wisdom is a. A night out at Coconut's An apology is a formal gained through b. A haircut and blow dry at Tropical Styles salon 32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, salt and pepper shakers, admission of doing experience. c. Dinner and game room time with the kids at Chilli Willie's silverware, floral arrangements... anything not bolted down. something that shouldn't 33. Hold a debate. Take both sides. Can you tell me where the Illiterate Club is? 34. Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn. If you answered 7-10 questions the same : You belong together; 4-6: Moderately compatible; 0-3: Find someone else 35. Auction your date off for silverware. 24 • The Coconut Telegraph • February 2011