Building and Modeling Resilience in the Workplace

California Department of Human Resources Statewide Training

www.calhr.ca.gov

WORKSHOP PRESENTED BY

The Los Rios Community College District’s Government Training Center

Bruce Winner 916.563.3232 [email protected] Building and Modeling Resilience in the Workplace

Course Description:

Being a true leader in today’s fast-paced world is challenging, especially now in this time unprecedented pandemic. Clearly this generation’s defining moment. And, if we listen to the feedback in the vast majority of private and public organizations, not very commonplace.

Effective leaders have been described as having a quality called leadership presence, “…the ability to connect authentically with the thoughts and feelings of others in order to motivate and inspire them to achieve a desired outcome.”* To achieve and maintain this form of presence requires personal and professional resilience. Now more than ever…an essential quality.

This course offers an understanding of the elements of leadership resilience and provides practical tools to enable the participant to serve as an example of leadership presence in his/her personal and professional life.

* Source: Leadership Presence by Kathy Lubar and Belle Linda Halpern

Course Objectives:

Upon completion of this course, participants will be able to: • Support successful Personal Resilience for sheltering and working from home in uncertain times • Relate the latest research on the effects of workload and expectations to your current work situation • Articulate and model the concepts of resilience and presence • Utilize mindfulness practices to increase your focus and resilience • Leverage your understanding of stress to increase your professional and personal effectiveness • Build and sustain resilience by leveraging practical tips for body, mind, relationships and spirit

1-Your WHY for being in class today: what do you want to take away? What do you want to know or be able to do?

2-Your COMMITMENT to yourself and other participants? How will you support this learning environment?

How am I Showing Up? We manage ourselves to lead others…

Sit quietly, take 3 even slow deep breaths and identify your “one-word” condition: what is my “present condition”, my mood, the best description of how I feel overall in this moment? Am I cranky, tired, excited, sad, curious, happy etc.?

1) ______(one-word) Time: (When you begin your day) What do I notice about how this affects my participation? (Self)

What do I notice about how this affects those with whom I am interacting? (Others)

2) ______(one-word) Time: What do I notice about how this affects my participation?

What do I notice about how this affects those with whom I am interacting?

3) ______(one-word) Time: What do I notice about how this affects my participation?

What do I notice about how this affects those with whom I am interacting?

4) ______(one-word) Time: (When you end your day) What do I notice about how this affects my participation?

What do I notice about how this affects those with whom I am interacting?

At the end of the day: What have I learned today about managing myself to lead others?

At the end of the week: What have I learned about developing presence?

Setting the Stage… (Some food for thought)

Directions: Fill in the blanks in each of the statement below.

1. Our mind typically wanders _____% of the time while reading.

2. Typical office worker gets interrupted every _____ minutes.

3. It takes an average of _____ minutes to refocus on original task after an interruption.

4. ____% of Americans surveyed feel “extreme stress”.

5. ____% of Americans feel their stress levels have increased in the past five years.

6. ______was the number one reason (for #5).

7. Only _____% of Americans surveyed think they do a good job of managing stress.

8. _____% of Americans surveyed think it affects their health.

4 Some Resilience Practice

Technique #1: STOP

S______… what you’re doing

T______… a few breathes

O______…what’s going on within you and around you

P______…to respond (rather than react)

Additional Notes:

Resistant Anxious

Curious

ADAPTABLE & RESILIENT Additional Sheltering for Success Ideas…



5 Defining Words We Are Using in this Session

Characteristics of Resilience (Source: Conner, K.M. (2006) Assessment of Resilience in the Aftermath of Trauma J Clin Psychiatry 67 (suppl2) 46-49)

 Internal locus of control  Strong self-esteem, self-efficiency  Clear personal goals  Sense of meaningfulness  Use past successes to confront current challenges  View stress as a challenge/way to get stronger  Utilize humor, patience, tolerance and optimism  Adaptable to change  Take an action-oriented approach  Build and utilizes strong relationships and able to ask for help  Have faith

At Your “At Best” Stories

Think back over your life when you were at your best in every way! Life was good. You felt good, comfortable, productive. You might call this your “preferred state of being.” You were “in the zone”. A time when time just flew by and you were fully absorbed in what you were doing. Work, home, community were humming. Use the following questions to guide what you include in your story.

Peak Story:

• What did you feel like physically, emotionally? • How were your relationships? • How were you part of something that provided a greater meaning to your life? Where you felt your talents and skills were really well put to use? • What were the behaviors and characteristics or qualities that you were demonstrating that represent you at your best? • What were you doing in your life so that you were getting these results? • What was the difference maker(s) that supported you being this way?

As your partner shares their peak story, record each instance of an “at best” behavior/quality and what created or supported that behavior/quality in coming out.

“At Best” Qualities/Behaviors:

• • • •

Practices/Difference Makers supporting “At Best” Qualities/Behaviors:

• • •

7 Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is using your emotions intelligently to gain the performance you wish to see within yourself and to achieve interpersonal effectiveness with others Source: Put Emotional Intelligence to Work by Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle

Emotional Intelligence…an expanded framework

Listed below are the personal and social competencies of Emotional Intelligence. For a more complete understanding of these two over-riding competency, each one has been further defined by their sub-competencies.

Personal Competencies determine how we manage ourselves. Self-Awareness: Your ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen and understand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations, including: • Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects • Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limitations • Self-confidence: Having a strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities

Self-Management: Using your awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do to positively direct your behavior, including: • Emotional self-control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check • Adaptability: Flexibility in the face of change and unexpected obstacles • Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities • Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks Social Competencies determine how we handle our relationships with others Social Awareness: Recognizing and understanding the emotions and moods of other individuals and entire groups of people, including: • Empathy: Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns. • Service orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting the needs of my customers/clients/colleagues • Organizational awareness: Understanding and supporting the goals, dynamics, issues and politics within my organization and reading any group’s emotional currents and power relationships

Relationship Management: Using self-awareness, self-management and social awareness as you relate to other people for specific purposes over time, including • Developing others: Sensing other’s developmental needs and bolstering their abilities • Inspirational leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups • Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion • Change catalyst: Initiating or managing change • Conflict management: Acknowledging, negotiating and resolving disagreements effectively and comfortably • Teamwork and collaboration: Working with others toward shared goals

Adapted from Working With Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman; The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves and Put Emotional Intelligence to Work, by Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle

Adapted from EQ Learning-Discovering EQ, TalentSmart

To quickly bring yourself into “coherence” in a situation instead of reactivity, first check in with yourself: identify my emotions, manage my behavior; then assess what might be happening with the other person and finally, take positive, thoughtful action to adjust your behavior for the mutually best outcome available to you in that moment.

9 Mindfulness…The Key to Emotional Intelligence

Mindfulness is: the awareness that arises by paying attention…on purpose in the present moment, non-judgmentally -Jon Kabat-Zinn,

Mindfulness…the most simple and direct and thorough and effective method for training and developing the mind for its daily tasks and problems. Nyanaponika Thera

Mindfulness helps us see the difference between what’s actually happening and what we tell ourselves about what’s happening. The Mindfullness Coach

Mindfulness is being aware of your thinking so that you can assess the impact of your thoughts then make intentional choices about what to do next.” Scott Eblin

When we are mindful, we consciously consider how we might be getting in our own way; then more thoughtfully and appropriately, we respond instead of react. The outcome is “co-creating” the best outcomes in the moment. Michelle Schmitt

Exercise: Barriers to Mindfulness Following the mindfulness exercise, in your group, discuss and list below any barriers that might get in the way of practicing mindfulness:

What you might do to mitigate those barriers?

10 Stress…may be the key barrier to Mindfulness

Stress is a demand made upon the adaptive capacities of the mind and body

• If these capacities can handle the demand and enjoy the stimulation involved, then stress is welcome and helpful • If these capacities cannot handle the demand and enjoy the stimulation involved, then stress is unwelcomed and harmful

Additional notes:

11 Stress Roadmap

 Symptoms  Assessment  Plan

1. My personal stress symptoms:

2. My Stressors:

3. My resilience assessment:

a) Proper rest b) Good nutrition c) Daily “nonstressed” aerobic exercise-20 minutes d) Something new or hobbies e) Time to read and learn f) Connection and love g) Fun, joy, play h) Time alone i) Regular Breaks (vaca- or stay- cations) j) Sense of meaning and purpose For each of the ten items, ask yourself: “What % of time do I get an adequate amount of these?” Then write the percentage for that quality. For example, if you determine that you get enough rest each night, for you at least 8 hours 5 of 7 nights, then you may say 70% for a) Proper Rest. Circle the score you want to improve by 10%.

From “You Don’t have to go Home from Work Exhausted!,” Ann Mc-Gee Cooper et al

**HOLD THIS FOR USE WITH YOUR RESILIENCE PLAN**

Four Focus Areas: Body, Mind, Relationship and Spirit to sustain your leadership resilience

BODY:MOVE…SLEEP…REFRESH…EAT

MIND: STOP…Focus…Reframe “Stinkin’ Thinking”

RELATIONSHIPS: Emotional Deposits…Just Listen!...Authentically Connect

SPIRIT: Feed your spirit…Avoid the Spirit Killer

13 The Way Forward: Commiting to the Four Focus Areas A Development Plan to Build and Sustain Resilience What are you willing to do to build and sustain your resilience in each of the four focus areas: Body, Mind, Relationship, Spirit?

MY WHY: WHAT will be different?

In the applicable section below, write down one thing (a practice) that you will commit to do. Specify the frequency and duration (start/stop dates).

FOCUS AREA Duration: Begin/End/Eval-Adjust BODY Frequency:  Dates:

MIND Frequency:  Dates:

RELATIONSHIPS Frequency:  Dates:

SPIRIT Frequency:  Dates:

Potential Barriers Strategies to Ensure Success 1) 1)

2) 2)

3) 3)

My “Buddy” (An INspiritor & Supporter)- how when we we connect:

16 17

Steps to Build Your Emotional Intelligence Steps to build Self-Awareness • Take assessments • Ask for feedback • Clarify your values • Become aware of how your emotions show up in your body • Lean into discomfort • Reflect on behaviors instead of emotions • Observe the “ripple effect” of your emotions • Keep a self-awareness log • Go to the balcony…watch yourself “like a hawk” • Develop your feeling vocabulary Steps to build Self-Management • Identify the triggers of your disruptive emotions • Practice postponing your anger response • Learn to breathe right • Be conscious about what you eat, drink, smoke • Balance sleep and activity • Redirect your emotions by doing something that you enjoy • Realign your expectations • Choose your battles • Recognize the irrationality of worry • Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in the issue • Put guilt in perspective • Visualize yourself succeeding Steps to build Social Awareness • Learn and practice effective listening skills • Observe and accurately interpret body language • Seek out the whole story • Make timing everything • Take time to learn something about the people you interact with • Develop an understanding of the cultural norms of your and your customers’ organizations • Strive to understand gender, generational, cultural, socio-economic, and geographic differences Steps to build Relationship Management • Avoid giving mixed signals • Be open and curious…replace judging with curiosity • Take time to build a foundation of trust • Learn your communication style and work to flex it to adapt to others’ styles • Take feedback well • Explain your decisions • Make your feedback specific, constructive and respectful • Don’t ignore tough conversations Adapted from: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves; Put Emotional Intelligence to Work, Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle

18 Keep Your Brain Fit

NOTE: There is a lot of important and interesting information on this topic that we don’t have time to cover in this class. For more information on this topic, check out any good book on nutrition, memory or physical and mental health. The bottom line is…we can learn all the memory techniques we want, but if we don’t keep our body and brain fit, it’s not going to do much good in the long run.

Feed it …by giving your body: • More fruits and vegetables • More water (Your brain is 75% water, so most folks should drink 1½ quarts/day to keep the brain functioning…not to mention what you need to keep the rest of your body systems functioning!) • Less caffeine (Hyper-anxiety interferes with brain functioning) • Less processed white flour, sugar and corn syrup • Less red meat • Less egg yolks, butter and margarine • Less salt • Low fat dairy products • Balanced meals (especially breakfast)…include a protein, complex carbohydrate, and fruit or vegetable • Polyunsaturated fats • Essential vitamins and minerals

Protect it…by avoiding: • Chronic stress • Free radical damage • Neurotoxins • Certain food additives like Aspartame and Monosodium Glutamate • Smoking (all kinds of things) • Overuse of alcohol • Prescription drug reactions • Sleep deprivation • Head injuries…use appropriate safety gear when sporting

The information provided here is for information purposes only. It is taken from suggestions made by John B. Arden, Ph.D. in his book, Improving Your Memory…

Before you make any changes to your lifestyle, diet, medications, supplements, and/or activity level, you should check with your health care provider.

19 ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Rather than increase your stress levels by suggesting that you decide which resources to explore from a listing of every book on the topics of Emotional Intelligence and Stress Management, I’ve elected to share with you some of the foundational publications on these topics and some of my personal favorites (which means that I’ve found them to be very practical).

I’ve also listed a few websites related to our topic that you may find helpful.

Books

Emotional Intelligence  Put Emotional Intelligence to Work…Equip Yourself for Success by Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle  Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman  Working With Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman  Focus, The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman  Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman  Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves  The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book (includes an on-line evaluation of your EQ) by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves Stress Management  The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson, MD  Beyond the Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson, MD  The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living by Amit Sood  How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie  The End of Stress: Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain by Don Joseph Goewey  Overworked and Overwhelmed (the Mindfulness Alternative) by Scott Eblin On-line Resources

How to Make Stress Your Friend by Kelly McGonigal on Ted Talks at www.ted.com

Dr. Herbert Benson on the Mind/Body Connection. Brainworld Ezine

http://brainworldmagazine.com/dr-herbert-benson-on-the-mindbody-connection/

Six Seconds website… http://www.6seconds.org

Information specific to EQ and Stress at http://www.6seconds.org/?s=eq+and+stress

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Key Skills for Raising Emotional Intelligence. HelpGuide.org http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm

You Tube videos/TED Talks by both Daniel Goleman and Scott Eblin

…and, of course, there’s are several other videos on YouTube on related topics (viewer discretion advised, as some are very good and others…well, I’ll leave it to you.)

There are also many mindfulness and meditation apps for smart phones.