The Student Newspaper of Imperial College 6 December 1999: Issue 1160

Fibre failure threatens staff salaries

GARETH MORGAN tinuously mirrored, and linked by most of Wednesday and Thurs part-time for the Union or for fibre optic cable. The connectors day, but was recovered at around College as bar staff, demonstra A hardware failure on Wednesday to this cable failed, causing both 5.00pm Thursday evening, in tors and others who are paid on a 24 November caused chaos with computers to go down simulta time to print pay cheques on weekly basis. Other affected staff Imperial College's payroll. Part- neously. Thursday night, allowing the were cleaners and a few techni time and casual staff were facing The issue of a system failure if cheques to be distributed as nor cians, according to Malcolm no pay when the finance comput the cable failed had been raised mal on Friday. The BACS Aldridge, Controller of Financial er system crashed. when the system was installed, (Bankers' Automatic Credit Sys Services for the South Kensington The payroll system runs on but the link was not backed up, tem) direct credit payments to campus. two computers: one in the Sher due to the cost of installing a par employees' bank accounts were Mr Aldridge said that the inci field building and one in the Cen allel fibre optic cable. This is the delayed, however, with payment dent was "a tragedy" but com tre for Computing Services in the first time since the system was being credited on Monday 29 mended the finance office staff, Mechanical Engineering building. installed that it has failed, but fur November instead of the previous who had worked late on Thursday The system is designed to survive ther failures may convince Col Friday. 25 November to ensure that staff a fire or other disaster at either lege to install a second cable. Among those affected were were paid as soon as was possi location. The two nodes are con The system was offline for around 250 students who work ble. Guilds Union on trial over abandoned bathtub

JIM GEACH The ICU Source stated "this mess is actually no different to the rest of the City and Guilds Union, in the form state of the Quad" and went on to of their president, is facing discipli say that "if you look at the bottle bins nary action over events following the next to the bike rails at the front of Field Cup. After the Rag event, Beit, you will realise there are bigger numerous items including a bath Heath & Safety issues than a bath tub, a toilet, and a tree were left in tub". the corner of Beit Quad. The action Information from the Source is being taken because of the mess suggests "the final 'real' decision to left in the Quad, and, more impor take CGCU to a disciplinary was tantly, health and safety issues. raised in a 'behind closed doors' An ICU source said that the ICU Exec (where the Guilds Presi Guilds Union was "in the process of dent was not present), by which time having these removed" when, the tub and everything else had been "before even deciding to give a for Dinesh facing the wrath of ICU Photo:Archive removed". mal warning", ICU President Tasha two months since the Field Cup took there had been 2 verbal requests The ICU Source concludes "ICU Newton ordered that the Guilds place at the end of Fresher's Week. (not warnings) from the Deputy Pres has been abusing its disciplinary Union should be taken straight to a After the items were still not ident (Clubs & Societies)". Then, out power - there are even rumours that disciplinary. Contrarily, according to removed, disciplinary action was of the blue, Ms Newton informed the there is a sweepstake being run of Ms Newton, the Guilds Union were decided to be taken. Despite this, Guilds President of her decision. how many disciplinaries they in get regularly told to remove the items for our source insists that "Previously Regarding health and safety, in a week." 2 News Felix 6 December 1999

[Millennium Poll Refurbishment at last for Southside

in MANSOOR CHOUDHURY be vertical (ie based around a few

; i.il-'-y,;,!,ii'i -re' .err i'- :: :v. eight storey staircases) rather than Southside Halls may undergo a horizontal (as is currently the case), refurbishment this coming summer if and landings will thus be re-mod K::a;« planning permission is received for a elled to increase the number of massive remodelling of the building. rooms and cooking facilities. :il. " Every room in the block (which All this will come at a price, presently houses the Falmouth- however - there will probably be an Keogh, Selkirk and Tizzard Halls) will increase in rent of around £6.50 per be renovated, with every room set to week from the current amount. Stu be fitted with en-suite bathrooms. dents could therefore be looking at Ollf According to the College's long- a total increase of over £200 per term planning and investment analy year for their living expenses.

;:>;;vii ">:> : sis, this feature is essential if the Col Ian Clifford, ICU Deputy Presi lege hopes to rent rooms during the dent (Finance & Services), said Southside Photo: Archive do? Turn to page 8to fin d out. vacations for conference attendees. Southside was in genuine need of Other possible improvements to refurbishment, as the current build new and shiny" and that if the reno Southside could lead to an increase ing was never intended to be a per vation plans do not go ahead, in social space for hall residents and manent residence. Mr Clifford fur Southside would probably stay in its an improvement in the ratio of stu ther noted that "students are more current dilapidated condition for the dents to kitchens. The new halls will likely to take care of their hall if it's next thirty years. again to the Med School Becky England provides the update. In Brief

A strangely mixed collection of DEBT COLLECTORS been arranged by the Union, with nally under Union control, charges

;, . :,. : CHASE STUDENTS Warner Brothers. This deal current were only made to external users - and a distinctly surreal Editorial ly operates for students with the for example, schools and the pub Middlesex University has chosen to NUS, of which IC is famously not a lic. Tim Trailor, Deputy President employ a debt-collecting firm to member. The discount, as it cur (Clubs and Societies), explained obtain unpaid tuition fees in an rently stands, is £3 for any film that in return for lost revenue from action that could set a precedent. every day, excluding the cinemas at external court bookings, the Col Chase Debt Collectors, Man Leicester Square. This discount will lege will pay ICU approximately chester, are primarily to pursue any be nation-wide whereas the £4500 per year - a figure based overseas and post-graduate stu Odeon scheme will be restricted to on the average taking previously this week's reviews section. dents who default on their fees, but one cinema only. However, the received from tennis court book it is understood that they are to Odeon discount will have started ings. extract money from undergradu on Friday the 3rd of December After a ten thousand pound ates too. The new scheme has while the Warner Brothers scheme grant from the Harlington Trust to apparently caused a few adminis is still in the production and print fund refurbishment of the courts, One week Seven days 168 hours. trative headaches as non-payers ing phase. In addition to this, by they are now up to a reasonably Condensed into 48 little boxes are still allowed to attend classes, getting hold of a booklet from the high standard. It has been suggest have work marked and sit exams. Felix office, you can take advan ed that tennis court revenue might tage of various extra offers from not be as high as expected, due to Odeon. See Screen for further the deterring cost of play. However, CINEMA DISCOUNTS details. the compensation from College should ensure that the Union will degrees of symmetry arrive Felix has secured a deal whereby not lose out. students will be able to see dis COURTS COST counted films at the Kensington Clubs & Societies Odeon. The scheme will let stu ICU societies wishing to use the BOOK DISCOUNTS dents watch any film they want for tennis courts will now be charged no more than £4.50 and will be . . / , '. £5 per hour for the booking of This Thursday will see Waterstones' running from Monday to Friday. both courts. The price comes as a Challenge Squod. Paxman ahoy. second "Discount Thursday", tar This is a definite improvement on shock to those at IC who have geted at soaking up the pre-Christ- the deal for students currently run been used to playing for free. The mas market. All books (including ning at Virgin, Fulham Road, which College has introduced the new academic text-books) are available runs from Monday to Thursday and pricing system, after taking over at a 15% reduction on the normal Some noticeabl costs £5 per film. management of the courts from the retail price from every branch in the This agreement pre-empts a Union when the courts fell into a London area - including all three similar student discount, which has state of disrepair last year. Origi campus branches. 6 December 1999 Felix News 3 Library plans outlined Tamil Soc Show Shines

DAVID ROBERTS be reconfigured". Part of the stu SUNIL RAO ing hip hop sounds. Nearly thirty dent common room would also dis different students modelled, show Disagreements surrounding the appear, as would several ICSM The ICU International Tamil Soci casing dresswear from a number proposed refurbishment of the Union rooms (as computing facili ety annual show was held on Fri of fashion houses across London. Reynolds Building at Charing Cross ties move into the basement). day 26 November, in the Great The best bits - those that got intensified this week. The driving force behind the Hall, carrying on in the proud tra the crowd really going - came At last Tuesday's Vice-Princi redevelopment would seem to be dition of past shows and events. after the interval, though. A hilari pal's Question Time, Professor the undoubted need for total refur This year's event "Sangamam ous comedy sketch targeting "The Michael Whitehouse - ICSM's Vice bishment of the Charing Cross site. '99" was billed as a millennium Jerry Springer Show", but with Principal (Undergraduate Medicine) However, although all parties would show, aiming to showcase the tal Tamil participants instead of the - outlined the current proposals to like to see a thorough appraisal of ents of the members of the society usual trailer-park trash, elicited a an assembled crowd of around a the building leading to'a redevelop and their friends by "drawing from great reaction from the crowd, hundred Charing Cross students. ment programme, the potential for both Eastern and Western cul and the closing folk dance Amidst suggestions that a decision a quick injection of cash from the tures". remained (as ever) incredibly pop has practically been made already, introduction of the Primary and The show finally kicked off ular, providing a grand finale to he (along with project specialist Social units into the building would with the traditional lighting of the an evening that by and large ran Peter Griffiths) detailed the results of seem to have swayed the discussion lamp and was prefaced by a clas very smoothly. a "feasibility study" conducted by dramatically. Prof Whitehouse sical (Carnatic) music solo. Fol This year's show was attended the Med School, which demonstrat explained that the special trustees lowing a brief welcome speech by by almost 350 people, not as ed that it would be possible to would release £2.5 million if the Sutharsan Vivekananthan, Tamil many as last year but still a good squeeze Primary Healthcare and units can be accommodated. Soc President, the show began in turnout, with the memories of the Social Services into the building, as The big question, however, earnest with a well-received classi drunken brawl outside last year"s long as other services are remod remains whether or not students will cal solo dance performance. Most event still fresh in the minds of the elled and reorganised. be involved in the decision making of the dances featured in the show organisers. Although the study suggests an process - or whether the crucial were unsurprisingly set to music The show was, like most of its alteration in shelf space for medical decisions have already been made. from contemporary Tamil movies. kind, a charity event, with pro journals amounting to a 39% Prof Whitehouse himself refused to Then came the first of the two ceeds going to the Tamil Rehabili reduction in the volume of texts be drawn on the issue, simply stat "fashion show" sections, with a tation Organisation (TRO), a available, Prof Whitehouse prom ing that "it's a very important proj variety of clothing on display, from charity set up to aid Tamils dis ised that "the existing level of library ect and I'll work very hard to ensure traditional saris to modern placed from Sri Lanka owing to service will be protected - it will just that it happens". streetwear, all modelled to thump the violence there. Angry NUS fees protesters descend on London

JIM GEACH Scotland. In addition to various speeches London's streets were awash with made by politicians and represen twelve to fifteen thousand angry tatives from the major education students on Thursday 25th Novem unions, NUS National President ber, all taking part in the NUS Andrew Pakes also addressed stu demonstration against tuition fees dents and union members. Mr and student hardship. Students Pakes said, "The largest student from all over the country attended protest in a decade proves the the march, which was set to be "the issue of tuition fees will not die. The biggest show of student protest in a march has brought a national decade", organised after a ballot focus to fees, hardship and pay for from union members in July. students, and we must now put ICU President Tasha Newton, pressure on MPs locally. This action despite her initial hostility to the will be followed in the Spring at a idea at October's ICU Council, lobby of parliament by NUS and thought the demo to be a good Students create a sit-down roadblock in protest Photo:Ed Sexton students' unions. It's time that idea, even though the Union is not Government and business put their part of the NUS, as it tackled prob attended. Ms Newton's only appre a mass rally in Kennington Park. hands deep in their pockets and lems that affect all students in high hension came from the possible This finale was hosted by the NUS paid up for a decent and equitable er education. Imperial students involvement of IC students in minor Scotland president Richard Baker, education system." were therefore given the option of disturbances that occurred after the who has been a key player in the UCAS figures indicate that attending, and appropriate promo event. Scottish campaign against fees and fees, since their introduction, have tional material was displayed Demonstrations began outside is also a member of the Scottish led to a drop in applications - par around College to drum up sup the University of London Union on Independent Committee of Inquiry ticularly from mature students port - the demo would be more Malet Street, then progressed over into Student Finance which the where there has been a drop of 1 0 successful the more students Westminster Bridge, culminating in NUS has lobbied to scrap fees in per cent over the last two years. Millennium Poll Felix 6 December 1999 Poll of the millennium Felix launches it's poll of the millennium - and gives you the chance to win a Dreamcast - with this simple form. Just fill in each pair of boxes with your favourite and most hated person/thing of the last thousand years in each category and return the form to the Felix Office or the Union Office. One lucky voter will be chosen at random to win a Dreamcast and two games, and the results of the poll will appear in next week's bumper edition.

BEST WORST Person eg. Martin Luther King, Karl Marx, Charlemagne, Napoleon, Einstein, George Washington, Hitler, Genghis Khan Invention eg. the atomic bomb, internal combustion engine, jet engine, silicon chip, penicillin, television, lager, compact discs Sportsperson eg. WG Grace, Bobby Charlton, JPR Williams, Don Bradman, Jesse Owens, Pele, Mohammed Ali, David Beckham Sport eg. football, rugby, curling, hockey, darts, cricket, snooker, tennis, karate, cycling, volleyball, fishing, baseball Song eg. Day Tripper, Stairway to Heaven, My Way, Rhapsody in Blue, Barbie Girl, The Ode To Joy, YMCA Songwriter / Band eg. Beethoven, The Beatles, George Michael, George Gershwin, Mozart, Madonna, Steps, Brahms, Blur Film eg. Casablanca, Citizen Kane, The English Patient, 2001, Singin in the Rain, The Shawshank Redemption Actor / Actress eg. Humphrey Bogart, Harrison Ford, Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, Sean Connery, Robert de Niro, Tom Cruise Game eg. Pong, C&C, Super Mario, Streetfighter, Final Fantasy, Pac Man, Fifa, X Wing vs Tie Fighter, Daytona Platform eg. N64, Amiga, PC, Playstation, Spectrum +, Mac, Atari, Commodore 64, Unix, Dreamcast, Sega Mastersystem Play eg. Anything by Shakespeare...erm...erm...and not much else really... Work of Art eg. Seurat's Bathers, The Mona Lisa, Van Gogh's Sunflowers, Hurst's Dead Sheep, Norman Foster's BMS Building Book eg. Paradise Lost, For Whom The Bell Tolls, The Great Gatsby, Hitch Hikers Guide, Great Expectations, Wuthering Heights Author eg. Charles Dickens, F Scott Fitzgerald, Thomas Hardy, Voltaire, Ernest Hemingway, Leo Tolstoy, HG Wells

NAME EMAIL whose ICaiife?

Well, it was Reuben who won hinting at the extensive services the competition to name our that will be offered specially for exciting new web service (nice Imperial College people. one Reuben), but soon everyone In fact, no matter who you are, else gets to play too. And work. you'll wonder how you ever And get better jobs. And buy managed without it. stuff cheaper... IC4life - it may be Reuben's for Yes, IC4life is a succinct and apt now, but from January 2000 it's winning name for our portal, 4 everyone else too.

www.IC4life.net - from January 2000

Imperial College ERICSSON $ OF SCIENCE. TECHNOLOGY AND MEDICINE 6 Science Felix 6 December 1999 How to stop a killer

Up to half a billion people are infected worldwide, and 40 people will die from it while you read this. So what's being done to stop malaria? John Clifford finds out.

A mosquito bite can be deadly Pictures: Department of Biology

t starts off like flu, with shivering and a fever, mosquitoes). For example, in emergencies, the people, many of them children under 5 in sub- but generally by then it's too late. Although it local authorities often spray large areas with Saharan Africa where it is most prevalent. I begins with a simple mosquito bite, soon the powerful insecticides, and many countries have There is also the parasite P Vivax, which, disease progresses to uncontrollable shaking, a policy of wiping out marshes, lakes, or even although it kills rarely, causes a terrible disease fits and delirium. Even with medical treatment, puddles - anywhere where the insects can which totally incapacitates the sufferer. It is a the patient is doomed to a long debilitating ill breed. However, there are limits to this particularly cruel affliction, as the parasite has ness which may recur suddenly over periods of approach. It is not practical to wipe out all evolved to lie dormant in the liver for months at several years, or to become one of the 2 mil mosquitoes and all wetlands, and insecticides a time before recurring over a period of many lion people who die from malaria every year. It tend to have effects on both human health and years. This mechanism allows it to survive is most prevalent in fhe tropics, generally in the the environment. For instance, the effects of through the winter, when there are no mosqui countries that are least likely to be able to DDT are well known. However, recent field toes to help it spread. afford the huge burden of healthcare or lost studies have shown that separating DDT from labour that malaria entails. But researchers people by impregnating it into a bed net could The second problem with developing a vaccine working at the Sir Alexander Fleming building dramatically cut the rates of transmission - but is this; the parasite and the immune system are part of the world-wide effort to stop the this system would cost about $2 a person, have been locked in battle since man first most deadly of tropical diseases. which is still too much for too many people in evolved, and so it has developed many ways to too many countries. stay one step ahead of the immune system Malaria is caused by one of several tiny parasites whilst in its host. For example, the immune sys of the genus Plasmodium, and all research Secondly, the parasite itself can be attacked tem works by recognising proteins on the sur focuses on somehow breaking the cycle of infec with drugs once inside the body. While this face of a foreign cell. Malaria, however, has tion. Before laying their eggs, the mosquitoes works as a treatment, malaria is notoriously dif evolved to show the immune system hundreds take a meal of blood from available animals, ficult to stop, and strains of malaria have of different combinations of proteins, meaning including humans. If the human is infected with emerged that are not only resistant to chloro- that the body can never learn to recognise them these single celled parasites, they are able to quine (one of the most effective drugs) but all. The pathogen's system of sexual reproduc sense when the blood they are in has passed into actually become more infectious when the drug tion makes it very good at keeping one step the mosquito's gut, and as the blood is digested, is present. New anti-malarial compounds are ahead of its human host. the cells mature into male and female gametes, being developed, but, as with antibiotics, if they sense each other and mate. The resulting cell are not used sensibly it could be only a matter One approach of current vaccine research, matures into a thready cell called an ookinete, of time before resistance to these develops too. however, consists of imitating not the hundreds which tunnels through the gut wall, where it of proteins that it shows whilst in the body, but grows and divides into new forms that invade the Thirdly, you can fight the disease by vaccina the few proteins that the mature male and mosquito's salivary glands, ready to infect the tion. However, developing a vaccine is not as female cells use to recognise one another liver and blood of the next human bitten. simple as it sounds. Firstly, this is because there whilst in the mosquito's gut. The theory is this; is more than one disease. There is the disease because they are still sitting in human blood, There are three possible approaches against caused by the parasite Plasmodium falciparam containing human immune cells; if the immune malaria; firstly, you can tackle the vector (the (the most dangerous strain) which kills the most cells can be taught to recognise these particu- 6 December 1999 Felix Science

lar proteins and produce antibodies to them when sighted, the mature cells will be unable t.i'jnq irv: Keck 1 'teles to recognise each other, sexual reproduction will not occur, and the life cycle is broken off. Although Malaria is used to battling with its 6f viruses found in itn. human host, it has not been attacked at this that travellers from Japan colonis* stage before, and will be left defenceless. 20,000 years ago The researcher there wore Husters of similar disea A vaccine will usually consist of a small m Japan ariilSdulh America;' amount of protein which is injected in order to trigger an immune response. This is fine in Evidence has been found that th developed countries, but in Sub-Saharan which warms Europe is being dis Africa the difficulties in delivering a vaccine change. Models had predicted the become formidable. For example, proteins need to be kept refrigerated and have a fair A parasite cell ready to infect a human ect observed ly short shelf life. This may not be a problem in this country, but when it comes to deliver Biology and his colleagues are working on ing these chemicals to remote towns in Africa, evaluating a revolutionary new idea. The which frequently lack electricity or proper thinking behind this is ingenious. When the risk of the Earth being hit roads, it becomes a logistical nightmare. mosquito bites a person, it injects a small aovernrrw Another problem with protein vaccines lies in amount of saliva in order to make it easier to their manufacture. Generally these are made suck up blood, and it is this mechanism which by inserting the DNA strand containing that allows the parasite to infect a human. What if as we Know ir, ana so is looking to co-ordinate an gene, along with a chemical message to turn the mosquito could be made to make the international approach to such a strike. the gene on (called a promoter) into either E vaccine protein, and inject it as it took a Coli bacteria or yeast. However, both of these meal? In effect, could the mosquito become have their disadvantages. The bacteria, whilst a flying syringe? they can string together the chemicals in the correct order to make the protein, cannot Professor Sinden has shown that fruit flies can quite fold these up in the right way. And whilst be made to spit out small amounts of this yeast cells are more like human cells in their protein in the laboratory, and is currently ability to fold the protein together, they have studying whether repeated tiny doses such as a tendency to add sugar molecules onto the Yin a year. this would actually produce or suppress an protein, also rendering it imperfect. The only immune response. He stresses, "This is just an surefire way to guarantee the correct protein ilish their find idea that is being tested, and should we find is to make it with parasite cells taken from that it does not produce a good response, we infected humans, but giving people products shall return to the drawing board and think of made from other people's blood is a very risky other ways." And even if it is successful, there technique. is no way that he or his colleagues would even consider introducing this technology However, researchers are also working on a until they were certain it was fully understood accurately in future. possible solution at present - instead of put and safe. "That is a long, long way down the ting the gene into a cell, extracting the protein road", he cautions. and transporting this to the at-risk patient, why not put the DNA sequence directly into Malaria is a disease which affects some of the uses a smc some of the patient's body cells, and cause world's poorest people, and Professor Sinden Future com them to make the required protein? DNA is believes that it will only be defeated by an much more stable than proteins, in its dried integrated campaign using all available tools, form it requires no refrigeration, and it has a including drugs, vaccines, bed nets or even shelf life of years. The DNA can be transport genetic engineering. There is an international ed to the patient and then pushed into the organisation called the Multilateral Initiative ry being laid down in the brain of a rat. The photo cells of the arm at high pressure using a in Malaria (MIM) seeking to do just this. The graphs, taken with an electron microscope, clearly device known as a Dermojet. The cells would World Health Organisation has announced continue to make this protein, priming the its intention to eradicate malaria in the long brain ce-ls. The process of memory is far From under- immune system to prevent the reproduction of term - but unlike smallpox, malaria is a very the malaria parasite. complex disease, for which there is no effec through. tive vaccine, and no integrated strategy for its Whilst this technique is certainly less fraught defeat. Clearly, this will require a very long A poll of the world's top physicists has declared Albert with difficulties, it would still be necessary to and sustained campaign. But there is no Einstein to be the greatest physicist of oil time. 70% of go out into the field and vaccinate- people, doubt that malaria is one of the worst killers Ihe 100 physicists interviewed said they would still and it is most likely that this is what will be the world has ever seen, and it must be required. However, Professor Bob Sinden of stopped. 8 Feature Felix 6 December 1999 David Potter: Is The Whole World in his Palm? Whilst no-one was looking, IC graduate David Potter built up a global computing and communications empire. So, how did he do that?

David Potter should be a household name. If In the course of his work he began using com Doctor of Strategy not a household name, then at least his name puter simulations of complex physical phe should be recognised by every member of nomena, in which he developed a reputation. In 1980 with a very small base (initially just Imperial College. There are few computer He was on the staff here at Imperial, and you himself and about £1 00 000 of capital that he moguls who head world beating companies can even find his book on Computational had made himself) he set up as Psion. This is a that spark less instant recognition. Those in the Physics in the library. Aspects of this area of big step for anyone to make - he had no pre know recognise his achievements, as is shown physics later lead onto Chaos Theory. vious management experience, no staff, and by the fact that he sits on several government no income, just himself and his bright idea. He technology committees. Bill Gates also has a The Two Strands had to start generating revenue and fast. How few things to say about him. In fact, in a memo did he do it? He targeted software publishing cited in the recent Microsoft antitrust case Bill Even during his teenage years there were two on the microcomputer market, for computers Gates singled out not Oracle, not Sun particular strands of thought that interested like the ZX-80, the Acorn Atom, and the Apple Microsystems, not AOL, but Psion as one of the him. Firstly, science and the way things work II. You have to remember that at this time it greatest threats to Microsoft's global business. (following a family tradition - his grandfather was a tiny cottage industry. He began to make If I were to tell you that David Potter founded was an academic). His other area of interest money out of that, and in the first year he reg and is the Chairman of Psion Group, then the was in business. istered a turnover of £120 000 and profits of bells of recognition would ring. Depending on £12 000. your vintage you would probably think first of A Smarter Investor It was not very much, but during the course the Psion Personal Organiser, the world's first of that year he could see that the market was handheld computer, or the massive selling He became involved in stock market invest going to expand a lot, so he then began to Psion 3 series. ment and research into smaller companies bring in development people - some of whom You might be surprised to learn that he did after the huge stock market crash of 1 974. He were from IC. One of them was Charles his PhD at Imperial and even lectured here for a thought that the valuations were 'ludicrous' Davies, who was a research assistant at Impe time, his particular area of interest being non and bought into the market with his savings. rial, and subsequently he became the lead linear mathematical physics. What is really He was very lucky and he did very well. It was architect in a number of key software products intriguing is thus the way in which he made the this that allowed him to set up the capital base and operating system components. However, transition from academic to mogul - after all, his of what is now the Psion Group. It did some Potter and his ex-IC staff didn't take any Intel company is competing against some of the thing else for him as well: It taught him a lot lectual Product Rights (IPR) from IC. All they biggest high tech companies in the world and about business and the way companies should took were their skills and applied them to a dif winning. So it was a privilege to have the oppor be run. At around this time Intel released their ferent area. By the end of the first year, Psion tunity to interview him and hear his story to find 8008 and 8080 microprocessors. Because of began to develop software. out why he thinks he has achieved what he has. the success of his business interests, he decid ed that he didn't want to spend all his life as an "In the history of Psion, software has always Background academic. been the root of the company. We're particu larly known for our palm tops and Organisers David Potter did his PhD at Imperial from "When the microchip came along in the mid and so on. The real driver behind all that, all 1 967-1 970. His research interest was in math dle seventies, I thought that this was going to through, has been microcomputer software. ematical physics, especially dealing in plasma have a huge impact on the world, and I want Frankly, we are one of the best companies in physics and all aspects of non-linear problems. ed to participate in that." the world at doing that, in different areas." 6 December 1999 Felix Feature 9

Fighting Off Branson and Maxwell ] PSION COMPUTERS PSION INDUSTRIAI PSION DACOM The market led Psion to games. Psion had started off with databases and also produced a program called flight simulator. It must be quite satisfying having been there at the birth of the computing gaming industry

'"We were among the first companies in the world to put a simulation of an aeroplane into a small microcomputer and look at it as symb an thought you were the pilot. It was terrific that there was real aerodynamics in there - we actually created the equations to do it all"

Other games like Hungary Horace, Horace ucts that sold in their millions. Then the com rent estimates are that global sales will grow Goes Skiing, and Chequered Flag to name a pany migrated to 1 6-bit systems that led to the from current levels of 100 million to 360 mil few, followed. Psion became the number one Series 3 family: the 3A, the 3C, and so on. lion units a year within two years. Just from in games in the UK from 1982 to 1983 and these basic numbers you can see the reason made huge profits, and it is those profits that "We were the first company to produce a for the global hyperactivity in the telecoms formed the capital base of the company. The Graphical User Interface (GUI) in a highly industry. problem with huge profits is that everybody portable computer - It's that which allowed us wants a piece of the action. People like to compete and win against Hewlett-Packard, Watch out Europe Richard Branson and Robert Maxwell, with Vir Sharp,Casio and Sony." gin Games and the Mirror Group respectively, One of the major reasons Europe leads the geared up for attack, and this caused Psion to Annus Mirabilis world was the adoption of the GSM standard change its strategy - they invested in the much for the second generation of mobile phones longer term sense and moved towards areas 1998 was a year of significant change for (which we are currently using) whilst in the where the barriers to entry would be much Psion. At the beginning of the year Psion was States there were many competing technolo higher. under pressure in it's key palm-top computers. gies. Another reason is social. By 2003, ana A surge of products produced by rivals such as lysts expect much of the Continent to follow the "The question which we asked ourselves is Palm and various Windows CE based example of Finland, where more than 6 out of what are the barriers to entry. Okay, we are machines had cut Psion's market share in the 10 people own cell phones. If that happens, making giant profits - what is to stop others? market that it had created. Sales of the new 248 million Europeans would own them (com And the answer is we couldn't see very much, Series 5 had been disappointing, and at the pared with 141 million today). Economies of because barriers to entry were low. And bottom of the range the Siena was dropped. scale could mean that within a decade wireless because our capital was so much bigger, Admittedly, Psion had a diminishing share of a calls could be cheaper than standard landline because of our success, our resources were wider market and it was still the market leader: calls much bigger...we had to move on" Psion's share of the the European market dropped from around 70 percent to 59 per Wireless Surfing There were two main product lines that Psion cent during that year, but still one in four palm targeted: the first (and most obvious) choice tops sold around the world was a Psion. The main technological driver for the next gen was application software for PCs. The other, Fortunately, there is more to Psion than just eration of phones is the fact that the data however, was a completely radical concept of palm-top computers. It is the world's third bandwith that they will be able to handle will a very, very mobile computer. A computer that largest manufacturer of mobile PC modems, be much greater than at present. Naturally, this you could actually slip into your pocket, but and sales in that division rose 79% last year as leads you to question why we should be limit which would manage information. It wasn't a the demand for mobile PC connectivity took off. ed to only transmitting voice data. The next calculator, it was going to manage information generation of wireless devices will enable users and they called it the Organiser to try and Dawn of a new EPOC to access the internet or exchange email from describe that. a 'hand-held device'. At the moment, there On the same day that Psion announced a prof function of these gizmos is split between two Birth of The Organiser its warning, it's share price doubled. Why? On devices: an organiser and mobile phone. In that same day Psion announced that it was to the future there is no reason for these devices So, Psion created the Organiser, invented it, join with three of the world's top mobile phone to remain separate. and launched that in 1 984. The most demand manufacturers to use Psion's EPOC operating In my view one of David Potter's major ing aspect of it's evolution was the software. system in a joint venture called Symbian. It is achievements has been to strategically place 15 years later the evolution of that software is crucial to understand the significance of this. his company at the centre of this new market. now Symbian, but of it's turned into a giant Operating system software for wireless teleph Nokia, Ericsson and Motorola currently after all those years. Now Psion Group are on ony is going to be one of the most competitive account for 75 percent of the world's mobile 32-bit platforms, utilising huge software and exciting economic and technological are phones. It will be interesting to see how the resources and systems. They've done very well nas for the next decade and beyond. telecoms companies battle with the computing in understanding the right technologies, and The current situation is that Europe has the companies, each with their hundreds of mil the right software technologies. And that's why lead in mobile telephony. Finland's Nokia is lions of customers who will increasingly over Symbian is in the prominent position it is. the the world's No 1 cellular phone brand, lap as the boundaries merge. I can't wait to Over the years the company has broad Sweden's Ericsson is the number 2, whilst the see what happens. ened. They've produced the Organiser, and American Motorola is the number three brand. the Organiser II - both hugely successful prod- The mobile phone business is exploding: cur Bashari Bakari 10 Union Felix 6 December 1999 ICSM Union The Constituent College Union page returns this week with a timely round-up of important events and developments (plus a few blatant plugs) from Medical School President Becky England. The last few weeks have been busy pean Cup. for Imperial College School of A lot has been going on within Medicine. We are in the throws of the medical school itself. The preparing for our dramatic/musical Union, in conjunction with the pow extravaganza of the year, with the ers that be, are looking into the ICSM Light operatic society present issues of transport and the amount ing Crazy For You, which runs from it can cost to travel to clinical Monday 6th December until Friday attachments in the district general 10th December in the Rec Centre hospitals. We hope to collate all (behind Wilson House). This event information by the new year and promises to be fantastically enter present a case to the relevant bod taining, and we are following it up ies. There is also the ongoing con with the Soiree on the Saturday. This cern regarding the future of the is an age old St Mary's tradition main base clinical sites - at the which has been rejuvenated by the moment we are particularly aware hard work of Tom Burchell and the of the problems at Charing Cross, Operatic Society. It is an evening of with the threatened library reloca hilarity and entertainment incorpo tion and the potential conse rating music and drama of every quences of such a proposal. The type you can imagine. students and the Union are follow Numerous other events have ing developments very closely, and been happening in the clubs and we are adamant that we will not be socs world, from musical concerts losing out facilities! to bops and cocktail nights. We had A quick run down of events until a very successful bonfire party fol the end of term: lowing the Interyear Rugby match at Douglcis Adciiins Teddington on the 6th of November Opera 6th - 10th Dec (which, of course, the second years Soiree 1 1 th Dec won, as seems to happen every Carol Service 13th Dec 7pm year). Other clubs seem to be flour Bop at Charing Cross 1 5th Dec ishing from what I hear, and sports Winter Ball 18th Dec are as ever keeping up their tradi tion of success. We want to particu I'm sure other events will spring up larly point out the success of the 1 st as the term draws to a close, as Dirk ICSM Rugby team, who we wish lots Christmas always provokes sponta of luck in the new year, with their neous ideas! Keep your ears to the trip to Cork to take part in the Euro ground. the stage play of "Dirk Gentry's Holistic Contacts Detective Agency" President - Becky England

Mobile : 07713 741 003 SEE ARTS SECTION Office : 0171 594 8079 Email: [email protected] Wednesday to Saturday Officers 7:30pm, Union Concert Hall VP (External) - Lizzie Robinson Clubs & Societies - Alison Ogilvie Tickets £4 students, £5 otherwise Treasurer - Susie Bloch Secretary - Marissa See Available from the Union Office or on the door 6 December 1999 Felix Union 11 The State of the Union

Charing angry By Tasha Newton, Imperial College Union President NUS, but things would get even On the last day of November, better for us if more Colleges came over 100 people met to ask ques on board. tions about the developments which - This Week's Union Meetings - made the front of the last issue of Felix. These were undergrads, post Mon 6th December grads and their teachers all interest RCC Winter tours deadline ed to see how the scheme would work. Sadly for the powers that be, Tue 7th December most of those who attended were 13.00 Social Clubs Committee not born yesterday and there were meeting (Resource Centre) many flaws in their plan. Like a two 13.00 A&E Board Treasurers floor gap between where the refer meeting (Resource Centre) ence texts are kept and the PCs. Or 17.15 ICSMSU Staff-student the fact that the department moving committee in actually needs room to expand 18.30 ICU Council (UDH) which it will not have in these plans. 20.00 CAG soup run This was news to those there too - where will they expand? Further into Wed 8th December the library I guess, as there is noth 14.00 Accommodation Com ing else nearby. The quest to try to mittee (Clubs Committee Room) get the students and other users of tee. cinema you choose to visit nation the library in all this, and to get the wide. Thur 9th December powers that be to realise that they Warner Brothers 12.00 Rag meeting (Rag Office) can't push this mistake through as it Well done to Felix for their deal Sussex in the club 12.30 Recreational Clubs stands, continues. I would like to with the local Odeon! The latest How appropriate it is that, with (Resource Centre) see a person from each year and from the new national scheme for CHESA meeting this weekend, two 18.00 ICU Exec (Resource Cen from each user group involved in Warner Brothers is that the paper colleges may have joined with the tre) the discussion process - at the work should arrive on my desk this free thinking Universities by the end 21.00 CAG soup run moment there has been a token week, and the cards will be avail of next week - good luck in your offer of two students, who will be able from January. The card will referenda guys. Not that IC has Fri 10th December heavily numbered on the commit allow you a discount at any Warner ever done badly being outside the 13.00 Social Clubs Treasurers

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Royal Commission for the Exhibition of 1851 offers Industrial Fellowships to post-graduate Scientists and Engineers carrying out Research and Develop- ment in British Industry and possibly aspiring to a higher degree. Value £60 000 over 3 years Details are contained in a leaflet available from Registry or the Careers Service. More information can also be obtained from JPW Middleton (phone 0171 594 8790) or via www.royalcommissionl851.org.uk Closing date: 28th January 2000. 12 Feedback Felix 6 December 1999

This week Kevin has been to Cambridge. He learnt ARCHER LINKS Y2K DISASTER that the University's prospectus has been forced to ditch nude photos of students taken whilst they Kevin was recently searching The Telegraph's web Over the millennium an exclusion zone is to be were working for the supermarket company Asda. site and came across an interesting feature on thrown around the campus. Kevin learns that the Kevin understands that advertising the fact that Lord Archer's wife. Lady Mary Archer is a top sci only people who will be allowed access to the possession of a Cambridge degree has enabled entist, whose scientific brilliance won her a double campus will be the teams who are ensuring that graduates to get as far as Asda is not the best way first at Oxford. She is now one of Britain's top solar the various bits of kit around campus that could of attracting ambitious students. However, this was energy experts. The Telegraph claimed she was potentially vapourise (or otherwise endanger most not the reason the photographs had to becurrentl y a visiting professor at the Department of of the population of London) are kept under con removed; University authorities feared they might Biochemistry here at Imperial College. Kevin trol. Kevin would not be surprised to see backup offend potential applicants. When contacted, Asda decided to verify that her links with the College generators and other essential materials being claimed intriguingly that the pictures "showed life stockpiled, in preparation for a "worst case sce on a graduate training scheme as it really is." nario." There is some reassurance in the fact that COLOURFUL COURIERS although steps are being taken to avert catastro phe, the College has, in a worryingly uncharacter Mish istic bout of foresight, recently revised their "Disas Kevin has been listening in on Xerox representa tives who were on campus last week discussing the ter Recovery Plan." DocUcentre The plan that was being considered will enable customers to send documents from any ERICSSON - INSPIRATION computer on the College network to be profes Mash sionally printed at the Xerox facility. Runners wear Kevin would like to reassure the campus commu ing bright red sweatshirts sporting the Xerox logo A Mostly Harmless Column by nity that Ericsson have not been taking a keen will then race your document straight to you while Kevin, a random entity who interest in the mechanics of the proposed Xerox you stay seated at your terminal. It is hard to see knows nothing about nothing scheme. However, it is just plausible that an army how such a labour intensive scheme could be were for real. She keeps a very low profile within of 'runners' would prove more cost effective than made profitable, until that is you consider the vast college, not even getting a entry in the IC phone Ericsson's current proposal - telephones - to pro amount of cheap student labour which is available book. Kevin has also not seen her at any official IC vide communication to IC. in South Ken. Kevin understands that a logo and events. Kevin's investigations resulted in an expla name for the new service has not yet been nation from a source close to Suite Five: "She To comment or contribute: finalised. As usual, any suggestions made to tends not to be invited to College functions, in case http://come.to/mishmash [email protected] will be passed on. she brings him with her." or email [email protected]

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O For more information call the Teaching Information Line on 01245 454 454, visit our website or email [email protected] WWW. Tl LE99. COM 14 Feedback Felix 6 December 1999 FELIX Feedback HERE WE GO AGAIN... didn't even require the use of decent level. However I would computers. (Didn't anyone tell avoid labelling iCU as "hypocriti ISSUE 1159 Dear Felix, them they had a school of their cal". At least we supported the own ??) When asked if it would demo - would it be better if we First of all I would like to be possible for a few people to didn't support the demo and also Editoi ioi Staff make it clear this is not an anti- work quietly in the corner, the fol- paid lousy wages? Of course not. medics letter, although things do licly challenged lecturer grumbled Why not write a paper on our low

;- seem to run smoother around a resounding "no." I appreciate pay levels for discussion at union here when the arrogant and rude that the medics posses well- council? You'd get my support. Dep^'filH'or,,,.Mari« Nicholaou inconsiderates are a few miles of endowed computer facilities, (Just tarmac away in Charring Cross. why they seem to need 1 7inch George Constantinides /'i :-!,.:, There are many of the opinion monitors when the biologists only ICU Equal Opportunities Offi- that medics feel superior to every get 15 inches is beyond me, SDOIIS Gus Poul one else, but these innocent doc although it could be due to their ' !' tors-to-be aren't to blame. We blindness caused by a popular Music James Holian fuel this feeling by erecting a new solo past-time....by that I mean ERRANT EDITING . -:! 1 iofk building for them (including a studying in dim light of course.) igmf' , room complete with fu(ball and but why do people from the man Editor, ' -' : 'i i f:c>c "The Crystal Maze" arcade agement school feel the need to game), we give them the newest occupy a room filled with comput We would like an official Books Russell Cummer computer facilities in college, we ers when there are countless small apology for the "Outdoor Club" Diary .. Tom Leggett support all this with a small work rooms hidden away for that sort of branding that the Canoe Club force of persons in their under thing. Another point to make is received in the last edition of Felix Sunil Rao, Jim Geach, Andy graduate office. Rather than the the "Lecture in progress, do not (29 November. Issue 1159). Not 'IOii Goraih superb duo in the Biology under enter" signs that get plastered only does this put us under the litf

' ' ' BMS, some people hard at work, would have alleviated so much have enjoyed, perhaps damages most getting their daily caffeine grief from daily student life but should be sought. hit in the cafe, and the odd few these powers that be don't seem Of course, we don't really Jonas. Steve, Andy & Ed students checking their e-mail. to get that concept in anything mind, and no offence meant to Oh no wait they couldn't they do. the outdoor club who run numer .Felix, The i-'orM,, -.ir,:, ;-TJnco because of a stroke of genius in Yours sincerely, ous pleasurable weekends to computer room management on enjoy the outdoors in a relaxing the part of the BMS staff. The Biol Anon environment. We simply don't External tel & fax- 0171 594 8072 ogy computer room (50 comput want to confuse punters into turn URL www.su ir ac uV/Feiv ers for 300 biologists, the maths ing up for a paddle, to find them on that is never going to work) HOW LOW CAN WE GO? selves cooking, or worse still to booked for a first year practical, a sign up for a chill-out weekend, Felix is produced £or and on medic lab with 26 computers Dear Felix, and find that suddenly they are behalf of Imperial College filled with third year biologists flying down a raging river face (who had booked but medic intel Adrian Spankie deserves down. reports claimed they had no applause for raising the issue of So, don't let it happen again, record of this), and a enormous the very poor pay levels in student eh? room with 85 computers unions (Letters, Felix 1159). I Thanks, crammed full with 8 students hav would, of course, support any ing a management lecture that attempt to increase pay to a Nigel Thacker

The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon - drop into the porta cabins or email [email protected]. Letters may be edited for length but not grammar or spelling. 6 December 1999 Felix Feedback 15

the way. It's just another example SECOND CHILDHOOD of Imperial College's painfully short-termist attitude to life. We Dear Kevin, know that these units will need to expand in the next few years. We Yes! At last! Someone else know that more and more more who watched "Ghostwatch" all students will be moved out to the those years ago.... I too watched Charing Cross site, because of THE MEANIN l I' l :. . 'I:'.' ' . ' i l \ ^ ' it and was scared shitless! I pre overcrowding in the BMS and the CHRISTM, ... : ii: i tended I was a hard 12 year old sheer size of the Drewe Theatre - il and wasn't afraid, but I woke up yet the planners and senior staff >ted in the terrified in the middle of the night will happily spend a massive th jusi and had to sleep in my parents amount of taxpayers money on a > . issue of It this term ' Si.. bed for comfort! A re-run/make scheme that completely blocks any (due on ni: is required I think... potential for development. is turn At lastsomc si ou !.. nil lo Yours si needy, The College frequently talks of S,S|SS|SISIilO it's desire to be seen as the "MIT of ... S O

illthl^iiiVSSS iv; 'IS: Neil Lardcake Europe", but this will never come country). As o about until there is a serious SIS Wornpr Cin^m'ts should -he change in attitude. In terms of CHARING CROSS LOSS buildings,, of investment, of something's v staffing and (particularly) in terms Also- -:!|, I'm 1 Dear Sir, of funding the College constantly 3 .i balances itself on a very sharp ' . : ..ii.

I feel compelled to write to you knife-edge, living hand and us liii as I'm c }h the... S . : S : ... . , to express my concerns over the mouth, without any means of sen hism) : ' : current proposals for the so-called sible long-term investment. Per and I be o ' renovation of the Reynolds at haps the appointment of a new much as

Charing Cross. Whilst I whole Rector will finally see all this -in . SO: . . I .. heartedly agree that the building is change, but by then, eighteen about cei in need of a thorough overhaul, I months down the line, it could a myfhicc o ...I'. i S I am increasingly doubtful that this already be too late... I '] 1-1,1 is the way to go about it. It would Yours sincerely, >:...:' .' .I"." ; seem that the College is so des SSS .i : S 'in'.:: time, much p. perate for some capital to finance Charing Cross III ing Ch .. i , stising : /: Si S : I SI I the development that they will do Muslims) go so mental about achii ' s. anything in return for money - in , ihe calen- this case, they are prepared to AND FINALLY... . i:i vorld squeeze two units that blatantly .vouid.-/: Sir-: islam AND cannot fit into the present building Dear Sir, ic, Jewish or Hindu / onto the site, because of a juicy ..." ... I. £2.5 million carrot that is being I would liek to ask your read remind you ill ' dangled in front of them. I'm sure ers help. Christmas is fast | similar stories abound when it approaching, and I have yet to i : form on page ' comes to decisions made over at buy a present for my girlfriend. ': . hove to do is fifl In your choice South Ken, with hall renovations We've been going out for about ss, , . . iestivctl s and the new sports centre just two five months, and I have absolutely V : | . of the more obvious examples. no idea what to get for her. Fortu i. I long i i your

The real problem is that, nately she's at Kings, so she won't !.!: : 'Si unless someone else comes in with be able to read this, so if anyone will pi --": a id io soy an offer of a similar level of invest out there has any good sugges cbour the -rue IC stereotype (in ment, the decision is as good as tions for something I can get her too hyi i ...... made. Prof Whitehouse insists that that will produce the desired .nuns, because vote for sci s s s- lis the development must (and will) go effect, please write in. ii. the full resw ahead, and thus this is the only Thanks muchly, i s category will be published in way to make it happen - and to hell with the students if they get in . / : V.::-: . : .., . '

All complaints should be addressed to the Editor. If no satisfactory : i reply is received, contact ICU Exec via the Union President One lucky s drawn miljerfhi'usi - fHe ert from Ihe hat to win owns of Seqa's- stgte-.-o'f the on1 consoles Can all i-Tadpients of nnperial Cbllege I2ri.cn Colours for 1998-99 please collect so .... their certificates and awards as soon as .-king possible f rem Pat Baker in the Onion IVIJIY TUESDAY WIN *5Q CASH (COURTESY OF STA TRAVEL) Oft A CRATE OF LAGER. FREE TO ENTER

THE ORIGINAL AND BEST

iCU] Your Union - Pun for Ybv IMPERIAL COLLLCIi UNION 6 December 1999 Felix Reviews Welcome to th^femews

Beastie Boys N Beck frequency >y Calamari

Straight Story Bond 19 screen Competition

Age of Wonder No Fear Biking react Pharaoh

Nirvana Dirk method A Jane Erye

Fire & Life White books News 18 Music Felix 6 December 1999 frequency sj^

The silly season is upon us. Beastie Boys The media is full of them; you have probably voted in The Sound of Science several already. Not one to miss a ride on a good band (Grand Royal) wagon, this week frequency offers you the opportunity to Way back in 1 981 a group of friends from upstate New York, linked bya common interest in the burgeoning local hard vote for IC's music of the mil core punk scene, formed their own band just like loads of kids did at that time. Almost two decades later, Adam Yauch, lennium. You will find a form Mike Diamond and Adam Horovitz (who joined two years later) or MCA, Mike D and Ad Rock as they are better known back on page four, ready for to the world - the Beastie Boys - are global superstars. They've sold millions of records all around the world, got their own your discerning vote. So, tear record label, magazine and clothing company (hell MCA's even become a Buddhist) whilst the band staged two of the it out, scrawl Take That in a biggest charity concerts of all time in a bid to free Tibet from oppressive regimes. Along the way they've courted Eminem couple of boxes and return it style controversy, provoking tabloid outrages and accusations of hypocrisy - oh yeah, and they've also consistently man to us in the portacabins out aged to make some really exciting and genuinely innovative music. This is what The Sound Of Science is here to cele side Physics. You could win a brate, collecting 42 of their best tracks on two CDs - over two hours of music in all. While some "best of" albums seem Dreamcast for your troubles - quite lazy - simply containing a band's twelve top forty hits in chronological order - this is a truly comprehensive career so why haven't you entered retrospective, from their earliest recordings up to the latest gems from He//o Nasty, taking in previously unreleased tracks, yet? The results will be pub remixes, rare b-sides and even a CD-ROM video track of the Beasties in their element, along the way. lished in our bumper Christ mas issue, so get thinking... We begin back where it all started, with some of their first sub 90 second recordings as a garage band captivated by seminal hardcore outfits like Black Flag and Bad Brains. Egg Raid On Mojo and an eponymous track culled from this ... frequency... era sound far from accomplished, miles removed from their more well known hip hop infused sound, but there is some thing in the raw energy of the Beasties rocking out furiously that still succeeds in engaging the listener. It was Licensed Beasties Giveaway to III though, one of the biggest selling debuts ever, that really saw them getting noticed. Licensed., marked a distinct change in their sound from hardcore wannabes to three Run DMC loving white boys trading rhymes over old school As promised, this week we beats. Given that the average perception of white rappers is akin to the much ridiculed Vanilla Ice, it seems strange that have the great Beastie Boys they've enjoying such a long and successful career - critically as well as commercially. However, unlike the quiffmeister, giveaway. To celebrate the they've never pretended to be something they're not, instead harnessing their rhymes to big, dumb 70s rock riffs and launch of The Sound of Sci rapping about what they know - at this stage basically sex and drink. Nowhere is this moment better captured than on ence (reviewed opposite) we the classic anthem Fight For Your Right. have some fantastic Beastie Boys goodies to give to you, Despite the overwhelming success they enjoyed, the Beasties became disillusioned with both their public image and the our lovely readers. We have 'meathead' following they had acquired through their allegedly tongue in cheek anthems of drink and girls. Like any a copy of the album, some decent band, they decided to continue twisting the formula. Paul's Boutique and Check Your Head saw them reintro posters and some t-shirts, all duce live instruments to the mix. An eclectic variety of influences (for which they are now renowned) and a slightly more awaiting your collection. To serious lyrical content began to show and is represented well on this compilation. From the frantic hardcore blast of stand a chance of winning Time For Livin' to more laid back stuff like Something's Got To Give and funky shit like Shake Your Rump, all the way these amazing prizes, all you through to straight up hip hop like So Watcha Want, this compilation really does highlight the genuine breadth and have to do is answer the fol sheer quality of their now extensive back catalogue. lowing question: What are the names of all Of course, you'll find all their more recent hits on here and as ever it's a pleasure to hear the fantastic likes of Sabo three Beastie Boys? tage, Sure Shot, Intergalatic and a Fat Boy Slim remix of Body Movin'. If you've only ever heard a few of their songs, this Send your answer to album is probably the best place to start. If you're already a big fan, you might grumble about a few omissions like No [email protected] as soon Sleep Till Brooklyn and Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun, but basically you get a load of your favourites plus quite a as possible. So, until next few you might not have, all on one tasty double album. Either way, there really aren't many bands quite like the Beast week I'll leave you with some ie Boys, and you'd be a fool to miss out on this. Excellent. fine reviews to read and some serious form-filling to do... Max 6 December 1999 Felix Music

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Beck Pan Am - The Sound of the 70s Midnite Vultures Yoshinori Sunahara (Geffen) (City Slang)

Good old reliable Beck. Providing music for people who like to have everything in the When I got this CD to review I thought it would be a mix, be it hip-hop, country, rock, Albanian trad-folk, whatever. He's spat out singles and compilation of 70's disco or funk or suchlike. It turns albums as diverse and entertaining as anything you could shake a very big stick at, and out to be nothing of the sort. Although some of the his live shows have been fantastic riots of good-time decks'n'pop action. He's been the tracks do have a seventies feel to them, I don't think frazzled pop genius who's managed to add another adjective to the language - "Beck- that any of the tracks are actually from that golden esque" - which has been handy when describing anything that's been genre-bending and era of glam, disco and punk. innovative. The tracks are mainly instrumental, with only the And when opener (and single) Sexx Laws kicks in, it feels like the same Beck we all know occasional vocal sample thrown in. The music is and love. Bouncy beats, immense choruses, and a load of noises you wouldn't expect, chilled. Chilled to an ice cool level of cold that the including a banjo. So he's back. But this time something's different. Beck's found some likes of Massive Attack can only dream of. To give thing else to aim his musical pistol at. This once self-confessed Loser now thinks he's you an idea of how chilled it is, when I played this to Prince, and he's after your young daughters. And your sexy girlfriends. And probably my house mates last Wednesday afternoon, they even your nice old mothers. were all asleep after 20 minutes. True story. Now, this could be a good or bad thing, depending on what Beck is on a sex trip. He's ditched the slacker persona for the moment, and traded it in you want from your music, but I don't know anyone for a casanova-eyeing-up-the-laydeez style. This is Beck's skewed vision of how the funk who doesn't want to switch off once in a while and should be done, and he's not half-bad. Peaches and Cream has him wailing away in an just, well, chill. ecstatic falsetto over some grinding guitar and body-slamming beats. The wall of sound created by the piano and Hendrix-guitar in Milk and Honey retain both that classic r'n'b At times, the music does get a little cheesy. The sound and Beck's insane inventiveness. Filthy horns (ahem) parp their way through Debra tracks are loosely based around a plane trip, hence whilst Beck oohs and ahhs breathily. That said, there's still plenty of that old Beck magic: the Pan-Am reference in the title. The album opens the aforementioned Sexx Laws was the obvious choice for the single, and you could with Take Off and ends with Landing. The tracks in- spend days finding all of the weird and wonderful flourishes on here. between don't have such direct references, but you get the idea that it's trying to recreate the feelings But - and this is a big but (ahem) - this time round it sounds as if Beck is joking. When you get on a long flight. The opening is more Prince (for example) does this sort of thing, it sounds like he really wants to get into the upbeat, with a little anticipation creeping into the listener's pants, whereas our man here is simply flexing some more musical muscle. The electronic beats. This moves onto sleep in the mid situation is not helped by his lyrics. It's never been a problem before, but here the wil dle. At the end, it's moved into a kind of tired but fully obscure references and rhymes don't suit the music and just sound silly. A sample: happy mood, as the collection draws to a close. I 'Her left eye is lazy, She is so Israeli, Nicotine and gravy'. Or how about 'Tweak my nip was a bit disappointed that there wasn't a track ple, Shamans go cripple, My sales go triple'? Very odd. Of course, it's all about shag called Overly made-up trolley dolly serves meagre ging, but at times it sounds more comedic than genuinely sensual, and that's clearly not portion of dried-up meat and stale roll, but you can't the point of 'the funk'. have everything.

But - and this is an even bigger but (ahem again) - that doesn't mean this album is in Overall, the album is great to have on in the back any way bad. There's more invention and tip-top tunes here than anything released in ground, or to relax to when you are doing something most decades. Maybe he should just stop trying to sound like something else and stick else, but there isn't really enough substance to give it to being himself. That way we're more likely to have an even longer-term relationship the longevity it needs. I can see myself getting bored with the Beckster. of it quite soon, although it is nice while it lasts.

Kunal Tom Music Felix 6 December 1999 frequency

Calamari and Phaser Jazz and Rock Soc Gig @ dBs, ICU

@ Hope and Anchor, Islington A couple of Thursdays ago, dBs resounded to the sound of a number of the best bands in College playing their hearts out to a near capacity audience. The packed Of all the Imperial bands named after dishes at the local venue was buzzing with energy as the first act took to the stage and I indulged in a bubble restaurant, Calamari are the best. Easily! They colourful drink of some kind. wupped the pants off Phaser, the so-called headline act. The arse-crack, belly and monotone drone of their front- Rocky and Bullwinkle are actually something rather different to normal - just two man, (I hesitate to use the term "singer"), was plenty to put people on (mostly) acoustic guitar. But what a performance! Warul was very impres you off. The other support act advertised had a nasty chill, sive with a very emotionally-charged voice, giving moving renditions of songs by the so failed to show up. likes of Radiohead and REM. Ably assisted by Will, this was a very good perform ance, with the encore of Black Star finishing off the set perfectly. The venue was your typical downstairs-at-a-boozer set up. A stage around the size of a postage stamp could barely Another band, another intriguingly monickered cocktail! Second on stage were accommodate our boys. A strong show in too small a Resist, a band with a unique sound, playing original songs. The darkened stage set venue affected the balance on occasions. Very few IC stu the scene perfectly for their style of music, with barely more than the luminescence dents could manage to drag themselves over to Islington from some fairy lights wrapped around their amps and microphone. They describe to lend their support, so there was just enough room to themselves as playing 'gothic-psychedelic-pop' which is probably as close as you'll dance around your handbag. If that's your thing. get, but think Radiohead meets Garbage in a not-really-dancey-but-loadsa-FX kinda way. The atmosphere was intense, the band giving a great performance, All in all, Calamari put on a creditable show. Starting with especially from the singer, Dave, and the guitarist, Ash. My only criticisms would be Ifs Hard, their set of 8 carefully crafted songs easily filled that the songs were drawn out a little too much and the effects need to be used a the half hour slot allocated, and you weren't left looking at little more carefully. Otherwise an excellent gig and I'm sure we'll see them on stage your watch. Everything was impressively anchored by the again soon. rhythm department, courtesy of Alec and Martin, but the melodious inputs of Alex (vox) and Mat (geetar) still had As a very odd smelling blue cocktail arrived, on came band three - Soul Doubt. chance to shine. Last Tear was an attempted change in Introduced by the effectively incoherent ramblings of the compere, they launched tempo, but came across as a bit ponderous. Max the Bug into a particularly energetic and tight set of covers. All of the band were obviously bear (sic) was chance for the popstars in the making to enjoying themselves, and this enthusiasm carried over into the audience. Highlights dance with their womenfolk (cringe). Alec (stuck behind his were Celebrity Skin and More Than Words, where singer, Emily, and guitarist, Nigel, big kit) missed out here. There were some hints of The gave a great performance. This was a great debut gig and testament to the hard Barenaked Ladies (homeboys), a bit of Reef (wild) and work they must have put into rehearsals. Jamiraquai (funky) which all seemed to gel wickedly. Later on two similar songs went back to back: it's not always A few pints later and on came the final band of the night. One of the more estab wise to do this (especially if they're in the same key) but lished bands at College, Ticket have built up a justly deserved reputation as a very really there wasn't much else to criticise! tight and skillful outfit. With the addition of guitarist Spencer, they've really filled out their sound and tonight we were treated to a fine performance including many orig The brooding Never Look Back and This Life finished their inal songs, taking full advantage of their headlining slot. A faultless gig, they got set and you sensed they had plenty in reserve. A sincere the whole of dBs into their 70s psychedelic groove, with Steve 'sounds more like performance. Nice to see indie rock types obviously enjoy Paul Weller than Paul Weller' Reece as excellent as ever on vocals and guitar, the ing being up on stage - too many of them have the charis rest of the band merely being extremely good! A treat. ma of a dollop of crusty taramasalata. All in all a great night featuring a lot of talent, especially in the form of bands doing In short, Phaser are the kind of band to give grassroots their debut gig at IC. It seemed like everyone in the near capacity crowd had a great indie a bad name. Calamari are your intelligent alterna time and hopefully this will set a precedent for the next Jazz and Rock society gig on tive. Listen out for them. Maybe next time they gig, you December 9th. Be there - you don't know what you're missing - and what's more it's should stir from your torpor and go see em. free! Ian Martin 6 December 1999 Felix Music frequency

Chris de Burgh Counting Crows A Woman's Heart Whitney Houston The Dust Brothers Hanginaround (Mercury) I Learned from the Best Music from Fight Club (Geffen) (Arista) (20th Century Fox) The sheer fact that this achy-breaky This bouncing, reef- heart type effort has a 'doo do doo This, the first track from her plat It's just a novelty style, guitar led melody doo' backing chorus part way inum album My Love Is Your Love, is Choose Life from a about the fundamental through really only supports the a good effort from one of the most hardly ground-break principles of life, (ie opinion that Mr de Burgh should be undisputed powerhouse soul divas ing movie, and consists just taking it easy), happy with his past successes and of our time. Full of big notes, with of narration to an makes it as single of stay at home and far away from any shady jazz and soul brass under underground beat. It the week! I was singing recording equipment. Bearable, but tones, this rings out well. Should be tells of you how your along after only a cou not a good cookie. big. life means nothing, and ple of listens. It's excel concludes with a repet lent and bound to ID itive 'You have to give cheer you up on up'. Don't buy it for the rough day. Top dollc feel-good factor.

Longpigs Rico The Frank Sonata Shave Your Head (Mother) (Chrysalis)

The Longpigs have Memphis Bleekas Bryan Adams Rico apparently puts on done some good stuff What You Think Of The Best of Me quite a live perform in their time and (Def Jam) (A&M) ance and as such I was although this isn't their expecting much from best, it's still much bet Memphis Bleek gets together with I've never been able to forgive Bryan this latest single. Once ter than average. Their in-form rapper Jay-Z on this joint Adams for that Satanic sixteen week again though, the lis recent album is also so you'd expect this to be quite a reign at number one all those years tening leaves me disap worth checking, and tune. Sadly, however, this is far ago. The Best of Me is, of course, pointed. This is nothing although not the best from the standard it should be. The another terrible offering and who more than standard album out this year it is lyrics are dull, the beat is poor and could expect anything else from the generic indie rock that definitely worth a space overall this a tune that is better husky Canadian. At least there's no has been done a thou in your CD collection. best forgotten. Mel C collaboraton to spoil things sand times before. further, and being as kind as possible What's worse is that it's

I can only describe this as a monot also been done a thou ..Singles reviews by onous rock dirge. Please Bryan, go sand times better. Pete & Tom... away Music Felix 6 December 1999 frequency

Trancenfral Botchit & Scarper @ The Junction Recommended

@ The Pleasure Rooms Botchit and Scarper, the Bristol based big beat boys, pre Clubbing sented this showcase of Nu-skool breaks and mixed-up It was by word of mouth that this night first came beats at that well-known club, The Junction. Err, when I say So, as the festive season dawns and we all get to my attention, and with the enthusiasm that well known, I actually mean not well known, and I don't a chocolate every morning, there is no came with the recommendation I know it's gonna think anyone can blame me for not having run into it excuse for not clubbing your socks off at one be a stormer. So off we go. We get to the door before. The downside to this place is that, for anyone liv of the many clubs recommended by the love and security seems a bit too aggressive for my lik ing North of the river, it's a bit out of the way. Once you ly lady above. ing. The twelve-pound entrance fee also seemed get to Brixton tube, right at the end of the Victoria line, it's Monday 6th December a bit much, but at this point we still didn't really a further 20 minutes walk down the notorious Coldhar- THIS @ Bar Rhumba; £4 know what was to come. bour Lane. From the outside, the club looked a bit desert Gilles Peterson and company are the hosts of ed. There was nobody about (ominous compared to the this night that seems to get better and better Inside now and there's a long corridor occupied bustle of Brixton), the windows were boarded up and the as the years go by. I've been a few times and by a long and slow moving line of people edging door was firmly shut. But there was definitely some dis I believe that this is the best Monday clubnight towards the cloak room. Forget that then, lets just tinctive melodies floating out from within, so we investi in London. scope out the place. The main corridor ends and gated further... Tuesday 7th December widens into a what seems to be a nice and not too Tuesdays @ La Scandale; £3 loud kind of meeting place. However, the four Happily, we were not disappointed. Once inside, we were Your penultimate chance this term to hit the walls surrounding it have entrances to potentially greeted with a warm, cosy atmosphere, lots of friendly 60p shots at every self respecting IC student's filthy and dirty acid techno and hard trance. Bril faces, and extremely loud music. The interior is painted a favourite club. This is sure to a large one with liant. Some like-minded friends have mentioned deep red, and there are plenty of large, comfy leather plenty of silly dancing and even more silly that some well-known DJs are playing today. sofas to relax into before launching yourself onto the snogging. They're not wrong. Posted on the doors, the line dance floor. The drinks were pricey (£2.50 for a small bot Thursday 9th December ups consist of sets from Trancentral residents tle of lager), but we weren't there to get wasted, it was for Movement @ Bar Rhumba; £3 b4 10.30pm Orange Peel, Zebedee, plus regular favourites those rhythms that just make you want to move those Bar Rhumba gets a double mention this Dave the Drummer, John Little, Chris Liberator dancing feet. week, and it's not a surprise considering the and more. We are also being treated to a live set consistent quality of the nights. Movement is by special guests Punk Floyd and some funky And what rhythms they were! Enormous tribal beats ham all about drum'n'bass so if you like it hard flavours from some live bands in the chill out mered home by the powerful sound system made all the then you should check this out. room, including Frontside. Of course, now we've people lose it. Crazy dancing, throwing themselves all Friday 10th December been here a while, the night is going to start get over the place, for the shear joy of it. There were no inhi Fridays @ home; £10 ting better and better, and, oh yeah - very messy. bitions. The place is small, producing an intimate atmos Home is now beginning to step up a gear Nice - this is what the weekends were made for. phere that makes it feel like you're with a bunch of your with it's Friday night promotions. The mission mates. The lighting was fantastic for such a small room, is to make this night as popular and as suc Now it's somewhere between 3 and 4am, and painting multicoloured tiger stripes across gyrating figures, cessful as the Saturday night soiree. Punk Floyd have just started. One of the other creating a living, breathing, work of art. Saturday 11th December non-chill out rooms (Room 2) is being rushed (!) Fabric @ Fabric; £12 with clubbers in anticipation of the music getting This wasn't a big, high profile super-club, but I had just as Well if you've not been to Fabric this year I'd harder and darker. And how! Orange Peel is good a time thanks to the unique atmosphere that such a really like to know why. As a superclub it's got rocking the main room with his down-right filthy small place can produce. It even smelled nice! The music everything, and the line ups are never less acid techno, and I find my self dancing on a table was very alternative, and although I was sceptical at first, than impressive. This is always a good night. with my good friend Mark. At 5am it's all gone a the intense bass lines soon won me over and I was up To have your club added to this list just invite bit twisted, but of course we still love it. Then final there with the rest of them. DJ Freq Nasty was the star of us along, we'll check it out and if we like it ly it's six and I'm off to the after party for some the night. The Junction has opened up a new genre to me. we'll put it down more monkeying around. Nice. Good fun all round. e-mail: music, [email protected] Kesh Tom phone: 020 7594 8072 and ask for James 17 12 33 Soundtrack by THE 007 B Additional Musical Score: and THE POP TARTS, plus Martinis: POSSY GAIORE9 Special Effects: 1ASERQ0E & win a mountain bike at CAS Costumes: ROND OR ROND Gl Sets: PROPART. Running Time: Finance: £007/£6 with entscard. Ticket Availability: FROM MON 29t

TheCarniVi 24 Films Felix 6 December 1999

What's Out On Video The World Is Not Enough Competition

Cruel Intentions (Out to Rent 1 3/1 2/99) This week the friendly people from the Odeon not only have five pairs of tick ets for the action packed The World Is Not Enough, but they also want to give This is the movie that had every hot-blooded male racing to the cinema away loads of promotional CDs for PCs. These fab CDs contain Bond screen- this summer. Based on the novel Dangerous Liaisons, Cruel Intentions savers, behind the scene inten/iews and sneaky bits from the film. To get your takes the bold step of transplanting a period drama into contemporary hands on one of these CDs just cut the Felix title out from the front page and society. Set in the Upper East Side of Manhattan it stars Sarah Michelle take it along to the Odeon Kensington. Just hand over the Felix title at the box Gellar as Katherine. She wagers her stepbrother Sebastian (Ryan Phillippe) office and in return you will get a CD. To get to the Odeon all you have to do that he can't seduce the publicly proclaimed virgin Annette (Reese Wither is walk to the far end of High Street Kensington or get on the number 9 or 10 spoon). If he wins, he gets to finally bed Katherine, but if he looses she bus (which will drop you off right outside the cinema). So go on, get a Bond gets his convertible sports car. Shot for a modest $10 million, the movie CD. always looks top notch, with some excellent sets that suggest the story's period roots. Staying close to the original plot (and supported by an excel You can also win a pair of tickets for the new Bond film by answering this not lent soundtrack) the movie progresses at a good pace. First time director so simple question: Roger Kumble gets superb performances out of the three stars, particular ly Phillippe. The result is a fresh, extremely enjoyable, movie with many The character played by Desmond Llewelyn in the Bond films memorable scenes. Great! (3/5) is nicknamed 'Q', but what is the characters real name? Dave E-mai! your answers to [email protected] before 1 2pm on Wednesday to be Notting Hill (Out Now) in with a chance of getting free tickets.

William Thacker (Hugh Grant), the owner of a travel bookshop in (sur The answer to last week's question is : prise, surprise) Notting Hill is broken out of his monotony by the arrival of famous film star Anna Scott (Julia Roberts). Their first encounter is fleeting Sacha Baron-Cohen (Ali G) went to university at and the chances of them ever meeting again seem minimal until they, Cambridge and he studied history. quite literally, bump into each other. Sparks fly and soon they are falling in love just like any ordinary couple. Except, of course, Anna Scott isn't Bradley Basket! is the lucky winner of an Ali G, innit video. Please call into the ordinary. Neither Grant nor Roberts are on new ground here, but they Felix office to collect your prize. work extremely well together. Grant plays his usual foppish character while Roberts is dazzling. Arguably the supporting cast, had they more screen Odeon Kensington decide enough is enough and introduce: time, could have stolen the show - Rhys Ifans revels in his part as the unwashed, uncouth Welsh flatmate, and Gina Mckee and Tim Mclnnemy £4.50 STUDENT CINEMA TICKETS also produce memorable performances. This is both a good romance and a good comedy. Guaranteed to make you hang off the edge of your seat Proving ODEON Cinemas are no VIRGINs when it one moment and laugh the next. (5/5) comes to propositioning students! Katherine THE OFFER! Human Traffic (Out Now) 1 .Bring valid student card 2.Visit Monday - Friday and/or Saturday Late Shows We follow Jip (John Simm), as he joins his mates in a local night-club. Jip's 3. Show student card main aim is to have a wild night and forget all about his dead-end job. 4.Pay £4.50 Human Traffic resists the urge to present the much-publicised worst side of 5.See film clubbing (beer, drugs and vomit) and focuses on the positive up-beat party 6. Enjoy atmosphere along with romance and comedy. Filled with likeable charac ters and music from Pete Tong. (3/5) TERMS AND CONDITIONS Offer valid at ODEON Kensington only. Offer may be withdrawn without prior Katherine notice. Admission is subject to Odeon Cinemas' Standard Conditions 6 December 1999 Felix Films 25 screen

Straight Story The World Is Not Enough

David Lynch is, undoubtedly, one of America's greatest living directors and James Bond is back to save the world (yet again) from another terrorist thus the release of a new movie carrying his name becomes an eagerly who has got his hands on a nuclear device in The World Is Not Enough. expected event - and the chance of disappointment looms massively. This In this 1 9th official Bond flick, Pierce Brosnan plays the suave, sophis potential is made all the greater by the fact that this his latest offering is a ticated spy that everyone loves alongside a star studded cast including sign of a major U-turn in his directorial style - unlike his recent works (Lost Dame Judi Dench, Robert Carlyle, John Cleese and Robbie Coltrane. Highway in particular) it's a simple linear story told in a simple, engaging, style. Free from surreal characters, flashy directorial tricks, incomprehensi While you would expect something extraordinary from a cast like this, ble plot or any complex deep-seated messages about the American psyche, the film leaves you a little deflated. There are gadgets aplenty too, but Lynch gives himself scope to tell a simple old-fashioned story. they are just an extra as opposed to an integral part of the Bond expe rience. The cast and gizmos do not have a chance to shine, as it seems Of course, it's still a David Lynch movie, so the plot is hardly an everyday that the makers have fallen foul of giving the stunts centre stage. In fact, one. Alvin Straight is an arthritic eighty-something living with his daughter there are so many extravagant stunts the plot is slightly lost amongst in small town Iowa, where he leads a simple life mostly confined to four them, which is a shame because there is a slight variation on the nor walls and a garden. His carefree existence is broken, however, when his mal Bond format. Of course, you've still got bedding of the beautiful brother suffers a stroke, forcing Alvin to set out on the 350 mile journey that women, but the bad guy of the film is not so plainly obvious. Robert will eventually bring him to the lonely Wisconsin hilltop where his brother Carlyle has a good crack at the narcissistic headcase, but he is only the resides. The problem for Alvin- and fhe key to the movie - is that neither henchman, like Oddjob is to Goldfinger. Don't get confused by this as he nor his daughter can drive, and public transport won't take him in the it will all became clear, and I am dying to tell you more but if I did, I'd right direction. So he comes up with an incredibly innovative solution - he spoil the film, as there isn't a lot more to tell you. Fair enough, the decides to drive 350 miles across the state on the back of a motorised stunts are amazing but they couldn't even pretend to be able to happen lawnmower. Like I said, never expect a David Lynch movie to be 100% in real life. This causes the film watcher, every time a stunt happens, to straightforward... just want to unnaturally say, "As if!". Maybe Bond has slipped too far into the technological age, and the makers are forgetting that it is It probably sounds like a slow way to travel (and it certainly is - his journey Bond's character that makes the story as well as the magnificent stunts. will eventually take several weeks) and that in turn makes for a very slow movie. Filled with beautiful panoramic shots of mid-western cornfields, slow Bond has under gone a re-invention in the past with the introduction of pans and gentle fades, the movie deliberately mirrors the pace of Alvin and a female M, and now they have re-invented the Bond girls. Instead of his surroundings. He's a man who embodies the "slow, careful, steps" phi bimbos who sigh 'Oh, James!', The World Is Not Enough has a nuclear losophy of his generation, and by capturing this attitude in every inch of cel physicist (Denise Richards) and a rich chick (Sophie Marceau). There luloid, the audience is thrust into his head far more forcefully than any are no bikinis but lots of bare flesh but that's not surprising as Bond amount of clever dialogue or intricate symbolism could do. For the same always gets his girl(s). reason, you might be stunned to find a David Lynch movie that's been awarded a "U" certificate - Alvin's lifestyle (and, indeed, the entire world The film whisks you around so many locations that it is hard to remem that this movie inhabits) would grate so strongly with any violence, sex or ber where all the action is happening (unless you happen to have a per swearing that their inclusion would simply be wrong. Indeed, what the "U" fect memory). Fortunately, however, whilst the plot of this film leaves certificate actually proves is Lynch's class - really good directors use extreme something to be desired, the script is still full of those classic Bond violence or strong language when they are needed and when they fit into moments and corny one-liners. a story. This isn't 8/ue Velvet or Twin Peaks, and it isn't set in that kind of world. Straight Story is the movie in which David Lynch has started to grow If you like your Bond films full of action and explosions then you are old. Having moved through adolescent fantasy (Dune, Eraserhead) and going to love this movie, but on the other hand if you're looking for a mid-life world weary gloom (8/ue Velvet, Lost Highway) he has reached a fantastic Bond story you will be disappointed. Yet, despite this all this, I stage of life where he has found contentment. He is happy with the world still have to say that this is a film that has to be seen - it is Bond after and so, finally, his movies are too. all.

Dave Helen 26 Games Felix 6 December 1999

In association with gamesu/ire. com A WHOLE NEW WORLD

No Fear Downhill Mountain Biking (PSX) Pharaoh (PC)

The No Fear trademark officially endorses Codemasters latest outing First off, can I please apologise to the members of my coursework group for the Playstation. With this in mind, anticipation began to rage inside for not doing any work this week. It wasn't my fault - if anyone is to my mind. Would I become fully integrated into the game, having blame it's the people who wrote Pharaoh. Never before have I been so become immune to all other sensory stimuli, so that I felt every sump, addicted to a game - at one point I looked up at the clock to find six jump & bump, or would I be chucking the CD out the window? Boy oh hours had passed without my noticing. boy did I fall for the former. Why? Because this game's a stormer. Pharaoh is the newest city building game from the people who wrote the There are around 1 1 tracks, each in a different country and with comCaesar series. As the player you play the part of the local noble, con pletely different scenery. They range from the streets of San Francisco to trolling the city indirectly through construction, resource management the deserts of Morocco and have but one thing in common - they all and politics. If you've played Caesar ///, then you'll know what to expect. go downhill. I, of course, failed to appreciate this in my impatience to If not, then just imagine SimCity with five times the complexity and a mil get on my bike and have a go, and duly paid the price as I started my lion times the addiction factor. first race up in Yorkshire. Yep, I pedalled like mad right from the start, failing to realise that you can let gravity do all the hard-work for you. I What entranced me for so long is the incredible level of detail. From the couldn't understand it when I was panting like mad on the level track at basics of ensuring a constant supply of food and water for your people the end, whilst my opponent zoomed past. The trick is to make sure you to the complexities of keeping the gods and your neighbouring pedal at the right time (energy levels are depleted quickly but will recov pharaohs happy, there's always something that needs your attention in er when you coast along), and also to make sure you brake at the crit and around the city. With the added problems of coping with the flood ical moments. You may be good at steering, but fine tuning your brak ing of the Nile and finding the money to build gigantic monuments and ing is essential if you plan to progress, often being the difference pyramids, Pharaoh is one of the most complex and involving games I've between success and failure. As the words 'No Fear1 imply, much of the played. time you will be racing on the brink of control, and this provides an incredible rush. As games go, this is not an easy one. Once you complete the first few tutorial missions, things start to get more and more difficult as nearby Depending on your preference you can view the action from behind cities request goods and invading forces threaten your city. I am currently your character or from the handlebars. If you choose the latter then you about five missions in after 30 hours playing or so, and the feeling of joy will turn your body perfectly in tune with your bike, and wince when you when you finally achieve your objectives after hours of managing crisis see a tree coming straight your way. It is this level of immersion that after crisis is well worth it. Creating a good city requires a lot of plan makes this game great, with good quality visuals and audio unlocking ning and thought, but if you get stuck there are loads of web sites the stored potential. around full of useful tips and strategies for building the perfect metrop olis. There is much lasting appeal in this game. Not all the tracks are avail able at the beginning - you'll need to complete some to open the oth The graphics, especially in high resolution mode, are excellent and give ers. To beat a track you need to win 3 rounds, each against a different a great sense of a living, bustling city under your control (assuming opponent. It would be nice to have more than two racers per race, but you're any good, that is). The sound effects are atmospheric enough, but this isn't much of a problem as there is just so much else to distract you the in-game music really got on my nerves after a while. At least you can with. There is even a track where you can perform stunts - but some switch it off, I suppose. how the only trick I managed to pull off was the one where you wipe out. Finally, of course, you can race against a mate - although you'll Overall, this is an excellent game. I haven't seen a game this addictive, need a fairly large TV to enjoy this one. involving and interesting for ages. The sense of actually controlling the lives of thousands of citizens is very strong - a good game for the meglo- No Fear Downhill Mountain Biking is a classic. There are simply very maniacs amongst you. If you've got important coursework to do, you few other games that offer the dose of adrenaline pumping action this might want to wait until the holidays, but otherwise I'd advise any gamer does. Bike down to Gameswire.com now and grab a copy. to buy this now.

Viv Ben 6 December 1999 Felix Games 27

In association with gamesu/ire. com A WHOLE NEW WORLD read (6)

Armoured Fist 3 (PC) Age of Wonders (PC) Bugs Bunny (PC)

I don't know about you, but I haven't Age of Wonders is the latest strategy/fantasy game to hit the shelves. At last Bugs Bunny makes it onto the played with tanks for many, many On the surface it looks like a lot of different similar games - Heroes small screen with this new game from years so it was a breath of fresh air to of Might and Magic III, Warlords... But this is its strength not a weak Infogrames entitled Bugs Bunny - Lost In take control of a whole group of them ness - it manages to superbly pull off an excellent strategy turn-based Time. The intro picks up Bugs on route in this new game from NovaLogic. game. to the beach for his holidays, but unfor tunately he gets lost and ends up in an I had a preconceived idea that tank You control a hero who roams around the countryside, rallying inventor's shed. With the famous last simulations were slow and difficult to troops under his banner to ultimately vanquish the opponents. There words of "that's a funny looking carrot get into, requiring you to read are 8 different races to choose from and over 100 different units, juice dispenser" Bugs is flung into the through the entire manual and even and you have to capture cities in order to get revenue to get troops mists of time and so begins an epic then being forced to refer back to it to get an army to conquer more cities. You move around the screen adventure to return him home. every 30 seconds to seek out some in exactly the same way as in Heroes (point mouse and click) but obscure key combination. However, unlike Heroes your army consists of only a few units, which makes In the game itself you take charge of after installing Armoured Fist 3, I the battles much more strategic. There are several new features, Bugs from a Tomb Raider perspective (ie found the control mechanism very such as when you pass an enemy unit he can strike you but you can behind him) and must guide him though intuitive and within five minutes I was not retaliate. Also, with ranged attacks you have to consider line-of- a series of challenging puzzles. Like Ms blasting enemy tanks and riding over sight and the arc of the shot (a catapult is more likely to hit some Croft, Bugs has a wide range of the nor sand dunes like a gulf-war veteran. one behind a city wall than an arrow). If you don't like doing tactical mal moves available to him including The game centres on the M1A2 combat, or you know you'll whoop the enemy quick, you can opt to kicks, dives and rolls. In addition, how Abrams tank and (unfortunately) this have the combat in "quick" (ie Warlords) style. The combat system is ever, Bugs also has his ears! These are a is the only one that you get to ride in very good because it is tactical and easy to use. Another interesting welcome feature that act as directional - however you do get to take control option is that when you capture a hostile city you can get your own indicators guiding you onwards towards in three very different roles and per race to immigrate to it and boot out the existing inhabitants. the next stage of the level. This drastical spectives, as the gunner, the tank ly reduces what was for me the worst commander and the driver. My The levels are huge with usually one or two subterranean areas too, feature of the Tomb Raider games - that favourite was the tank commander which makes for very long games. In my view this is a plus because of being in a huge level and not having when he is sitting atop the tank wield it adds to the strategy side of the game, but it can be extremely a clue which direction to go in. ing a .50 calibre machine gun - even annoying when your enemy sneaks behind your army and captures if there is nothing to shoot at it's still a your city deep within the kingdom. You have to leave behind a bor The graphics are spot-on - they really great vantage point to watch the hills der guard to prevent this happening. give you a sense of being in the cartoons roll by. that we all used to (and indeed still do) The sound is adequate and the graphics are brilliant, although the watch. During the course of the game The game's only drawback is the characters look a bit cartoonish. The gameplay on the whole is you will be reunited with ail of Bugs's graphics. Five years ago they would excellent. Picking up the control system is as easy as pie. The multi favourite enemies, including Yosemite have been fine, but today's gamers player option (absolutely essential nowadays) is very good. It allows Sam, Witch Hazel and (my favourite) expect better. you to take turns simultaneously instead of waiting for your opponent Marvin the Martian. These characters, to move, chess-like. like Bugs, are all well animated and So in summary, NovaLogic's Armoured crisply executed. Fist 3 is quite a decent attempt at a Age of Wonders is a great strategy game with real depth to it (almost playable tank battlefield simulation, like a proper RPG). While it may not be a breakthrough in gaming, Overall this is a fun game that, despite which is unfortunately flawed by the it has enough new bits and an excellent interface that should serve the title, is not just for children. It will company's reluctance to embrace the to satisfy any strategy fan, with hours of gameplay available. The present a good challenge to the average technological revolution that 3D only gripe I have is that it can be slightly long and that there is now gamer and will also give a great deal of graphics cards have brought about. an additional candidate for best strategy game of the year. enjoyment along the way.

Andy in Mark ID Andy Arts Felix 6 December 1999 method A

Mnemonic Nirvana - A retrospective

Riverside Studios pictures, however, do the band justice in this £12.50 Cone. regard. Seeing the live pictures with the sounds of Nearest Tube - Hammersmith Lithium rampaging through my head made me want to return to those days of wearing "grunge If it's got the label theatre de complicity is dead" t-shirts and getting pissed for the first you've just got to go - never have I seen time. such original and engaging physical the atre. I was in awe of the polish both the Obviously, the eventual suicide of the man him actors and the technical crew achieved. self will be in the back of your mind as you wan Mnemonic is a devised piece of theatre that der between these flashes of the Nirvana era. It keeps you on your toes and the edge of was not, however, something that the exhibition your seat for the entire show. It explores dwelt on - instead being "A tribute to the life of memory and time - giving you a shocking Nirvana, not to the death of Kurt Cobain" say sense of perspective about just how small Gullick, Goodacre and Sweet. Of course, it is we all are in such a vast, old world. I have impossible to blank it from your mind completely made it sound heavy, but it isn't - the whole when looking into Kurt's eyes in some of the more play is fluid and powerful; at times visually sombre photographs, with the haunting rasps of stunning, at others hilarious. Proud Galleries £3 Cone. Penny Royalty Unplugged filling the air. Nearest Tube Charring Cross I arrived to find a leaf and a blind fold attached to my chair. I looked around and Hello, hello, hello, hello - yes my friends let me saw everybody else was similarly endowed. take you back to your grunge days with Nirvana - Before I knew it the play had begun. I was A retrospective. This is the biggest British collec immersed in an extraordinarily eye opening tion of Nirvana photographs, providing a wide world. It is difficult to detail many examples and detailed insight into the essential 90's band, because to do so would be to spoil the sur with back stage photos and those taken in and prise, but to cite one: A prehistoric man has around London. The three guys who put this been discovered in the ice and is the focus together - Martine Goodacre, Steve Gullick and of much scientific debate; tattoos are dis Stephen Sweet - were all music photographers covered on his front. Parallels are continu working for NME and all had good access to the ously being drawn between this mystery Ice bands early popularity here. Man and the main character. We hear on the TV about the said scares as the main Proud galleries is just two minutes walk from character talks to his girlfriend on the Charring Cross Tube and is the perfect place to phone; a ghostly hand appears upon his visit to experience some hard hitting and easy chest and begins to scar his body - the effect looking photographic art for the first time. It is a is incredible. It is obviously achieved flashy little venue and worth a look - even if you The gallery aimed not at a definitive history of the through some sort of projector, but nobody hate the band, the imagery is impressive. band, but rather a more British and personal is thinking that at the time. The silence in the slant. I feel the range achieved in these pictures theatre is complete and the hair on the back Kurt probably would have hated it - but he hated was impressive - it wasn't all pictures of Kurt look of my neck rose. The play is packed with everything to do with fame and money - "if you're ing fucked up or endless blurry live shots of the similarly astonishing effects. It is the most rich, you're a dick". Certainly everything to do band smashing up their equipment again. No, powerful piece of devised theatre I have with the opening party was everything Nirvana the pictures were a perfect balance. Go on, ever seen. wasn't: suave, flash and pretentious. Nirvana entertain yourselves. were raw and honest, they just plugged in and Ben poured out their emotion through the amps. The ID Ben 6 December 1999 -Felix Arts 29 method A

Dirk A thumping good detective-ghost-horror-who dunnit-time travel-romantic-musical-comedy epic JCMG Eyre

ished performance, labelling the play as "bril New Ambassador liantly written" and "extremely funny". It has £5-10 Cone. taken him and Dramsoc seven months from Nearest Tube -Leicester Square conception to performance. When moving from novel to stage there is always the risk of sacri I have not read the book, but I have seen ficing parts of the story to make it suitable for the film; this is much better than the film. It performance. Although changes are present in is an original slant on the story with slick the form of small omissions and additions those and extremely versatile actors. They play a who enjoyed the book can be confident of see huge range of characters - including the ing a new lease of life in the characters they horse and dog! I'm serious I have never know; the spirit always remains the same. seen a better stage dog in my life, quite touching really. The play was very well To end with a quote from the writer of the new received from the packed out crowd and script: "Lots happens, people die and there's easily held my attention throughout. very little sitting around and talking and with a bit of !uck everybody gets to the pub well before Jane Eyre is basically about as repressed a last orders. You can't say that about Beckett" person as it is possible to be. She had an Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency is the unhappy childhood, and ever since she can creation of Douglas Adams - author of Hitch Well done Dramsoc, break a collective leg! not get in touch with her sexual side - she Hikers Guide To The Galaxy. Dirk is the play of almost has a fit when Rochester kisses her the book, he is a detective with a twist, believ neck. The play uses an interesting theatrical ing in the fundamental interconnectedness of all device, which involves the mad wife of things. He finds them between a dead cat, pizza Rochester (the guy Jane is in repressed love and Samuel Taylor Coleridge (poet) - he also with) called Bertha doubling as Jane's saves the world as we know it. "other self" who is locked away in the attic/Jane's mind. When Bertha bangs on

Yup the humour's zany - Adams at his best - and the door Jane flinches as if repressing her darker side. As Rochester talks of love to the task for Dramsoc is huge. The play originat Jane she keeps busy repressing herself ed in Oxford, being first performed at Stowe whilst her alter ego is upstairs busy mastur School in 1992 then progressing, with advice bating. A little obvious but none the less from Douglas Adams and National Lottery effective. money, to a 1 997 run at the Oxford playhouse. This is the first independent production in the world! Dirk has many a challenge for the tech The play is a psychological drama, effec nical crew and actors alike. Andrew Prowse - a tively and powerfully acted, maybe not of first year Materials student - has taken on the tit the puritanical lit. crits. But I'm inspired to tle role. He is joined by Dramsoc members old read the book and that can't be a bad thing. and new (and extremely old - Ed) in this fantas tic theatrical chalienge. The Show runs from Wednesday to Saturday this ID Nur week in the Union Concert Hall (Beit Quad,sec The cast is under the direction of Philip Lunn. He ond floor) @ 7.30pm each night. Bringing The House Down has much and varied experience in the theatre and says his main aim is to "entertain people". Tickets are available on the door at £4 conces With the least impressive acceptance Philip shares the same birthday with Adams sions, £5 otherwise. speech of all time, Steve McQueen wins the (there is probably some fundamental reason for Turner prize. On display at the Tate and well this). He is confident of a successful and pol Ben worth the visit. 30 Books Felix 6 December 1999 books =

California Fire and Life, Don Winslow White, Rosie Thomas

This book does not set out to be classic English literature; it sets out to be Following an extremely diverse group of climbers, as they are about to a modern detective story/thriller. It is centred on Jack Wade (wonderfully embark on a gruelling expedition to conquer Everest, White is the lat macho name), a claims investigator specialising in arson for the Califor est novel from Rosie Thomas. Dr Finch Buchanan, a young Canadian, nia Fire and Life Insurance Company. The story is that he has to uncover is restless and seeking something more in her life. She is employed as a murder and attempt to stop the murderer pressing for the life insurance. the expedition doctor and is responsible for the health of the other Oh and the Russian Mafia, Vietnamese gangs, the CIA and other stereo members of the group. Al Hood, a vastly experienced Welsh moun typed law enforcement agencies all have bit parts too. Cool. taineer, will lead the party and has made a promise to his teenage daughter that he will leave climbing once he has conquered this last What struck me first about this book was the tone of voice. It is just so (highest) peak. Sam McGrath joins the group on impulse at the last laid back, chilled out, Southern-California style that I found myself drawl minute, following a chance encounter at an airport. He is haunted by ing the lines out loud. I loved the style; it was good-humoured whilst also his childhood but is forced to reconsider both his past and his future being cynical. The 'voice' continues in that style throughout the novel, as the expedition progresses. reinforcing the thought that this is one persons individual experience; that this is a real life situation because there is a real person behind that dis Set against the beautiful yet often threatening backdrop of Mount tinctive voice. Everest, the complicated, triangular relationship between Finch and the two men plays itself out with, ultimately, tragic consequences. What particularly made me laugh was the way most chapters ended with Thomas' descriptions and attention to technical detail transport the a punchy little line or catchphrase in that laid back voice - 'So shake that' reader to the mountainside, bringing the group's experiences to life - or 'Give him a headache for a change' spring to mind. even for a non-climber such as myself.

However, the best part of the novel is when Jack is describing his educa Although I am not normally a big fan of romantic fiction, I have to tion at 'fire school1 and his investigation into the murder. There is a defi confess that the complex characters and unusual setting of this book nite feeling that the author is sharing personal experience with the read had me hooked. My only criticism would probably be regarding the er. Coincidentally, the author spent 1 0 years as a consultant on litigation ending. After the pace of the rest of the novel, I was left disappointed involving fraud cases, especially arson. by the conclusion. However, don't let this put you off - it's a brilliant book. Unfortunately, a decent plot and some really superb factual information are all this novel has to offer. And even the plot turns down a dodgy alley Helen at the end. The characterisation is limited to the 'I came from a dysfunc tional family' cliche and 'jet black hair and Liz Taylor eyes and big boobs and a little butt1 descriptions. So, whilst there are some good investigative Free Stuff techniques hidden in there, they are really badly utilised by a group of pulp characters. Actually reading the books section? The best answer to the question 'Why the Books Section in Felix is my favourite Books Section in the It isn't a book that I would personally buy but it is worth borrowing from Universe' will win Paul Burgess' picture book Satellite Sex Pistols. Email a friend if only for the factual bits and the amusing accent. answers to [email protected]. You don't need to hurry - the only other per son to read this is Tony Poppleton in Physics and he hates the Sex Pis Fire tols, so you can take your time.

Felix Recommends

Remember that reviewed titles are available from the Waterstone's on campus at a discount of 20% during the week of the review. Take advantage of this offer Monday to Friday 9:00am to 7:00pm and Saturday 10:00am to 5:00pm. Go on. 6 December 1999 Felix Books 31 books

Events in and

Colours of The Mountains, Da Chen

. An Colours of the Mountain, the memoir of Da Chen, deals with his early :lova life growing up in rural China during the later part of Mao's reign. The and Vizma Belsevica, Tu grandson of a former wealthy landlord, Da is born into a family con tinually persecuted by their small village at the insistence of local Com RELIGION vs PHILOSC lilly 19:00. A munist Party officials. Chen spends most of his childhood trying to over i and philoso- come his politically incorrect background and deal with the poverty and adversity facing his family. Piccndillv Circus Co/ours is not very literary in its style or approach, consisting more of a statement of a series of events them a gripping narrative. Basic emo tional reactions never really come into play for the reader, resulting in an intellectual realisation that some of the events should be heart warming, funny or even infuriating - but nothing more.

Chen does at times employ some seemingly poetic imagery to describe :nts £3, 0171 960 the landscape of his childhood, but without much effect. The members of Chen's family, who have been through such adversity and triumphed, are not treated any better. The story of what they went through is very powerful and yet the passages that deal with his family are not. Perhaps it is difficult to see where more characterisation is needed when one is Leadenhall Mkt writing about ones family, but we do not share Da's familiarity with his 1 Reports returns subject. and sexual poli

That is the shame of it all - Chen has really achieved a great deal in his life and overcome a huge amount of adversity, but even as we follow along with him towards his ultimate success, there is no real emotion al involvement with the reader. ties of his new book I would have preferred to read about one man's view of this tumultuous , 0171 220 7882. and chaotic time in the history of China, but instead the book offers only one man's view of himself. I admire Chen for his achievements, but I'm not a fan of the book.

Perhaps I'm just jealous. An Russell

You've heard about it. You've thought about it. Your friends are talking ohn about it. Your girlfriend wants you to do it together. You mother thinks you for should do more of it. Take the plunge and do it! utopia throL Waterloo Write books reviews for Felix. Its all the rage in France.

email [email protected] or stop by the Felix office at 1 2:00pm on Thursdays. 32 Seven Days Felix 6 December 1999 6 December 1999 Felix Seven Days 33

FELIX V N DA Y BioSoc Present Monday Tuesday IWednesdayl Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Next Week 11999 Sir Alexander

STA Quiz Night Excess The Electric Cafe Pop Tarts & Southside pub quiz Christmas Carnival Fleming Lecture

. Win £50 cash or a Two rooms of tunes, DJ Alick Sethi spins Karaoke The quiz for regulars cutting edge Cheesy classics and and newcomers alike themed entertain- i r:} cocktails, a lot of onsored by Waterstone's Booksellers E drunk sportsmen and loungecore and chill- four bars - a perfect continues today. ment heading your women, and some of out, progressing to combination. 7pm, Southside bar N the cheesiest music House DVB £1 students, £1.50 December - tickets known to man. etc. Come down guests, free with an on sale soon Professor Steve Jones chill, drink or dance ents cards The backroom at Homo sapiens: just another animal? Southside 7.00 V ciosing time.

6 pm, Tuesday 14 December 1999

Archery Fencing Club Shooting CAG Soup Run Kung Fu Club Kung Fu Club Lecture Theatre 2 6-10pm, Projectile Union Gym, 12pm 8.15pm, Weeks Hall (Wu Shu Kwan) {Wu Shu Kwan) Halt 'Sports Centre) Basement Southside Gym i'W;; Sir Alexander Fleming Building Wine Tasting 4:30pm - 6:30pm 4 30pm - 6:30pm 6pm, dB's Dram Soc South Kensington Campus The first night of their Canoe Club Practice session, 7pm Free admission & Wine reception CAG Soup run, 8.1 5pm

Trash @ The Blurt @ TJ's Bar; Bjork & Brodsky Bozone @ Wemb- Shed Seven @ James & Cast @ Shepards Anexe ; £4 Dogstar ; Free £3 Quartet @ Union ley Arena Bush Wembley Arena; Erol & James Otlie Teeba & Sahin Ted Milton plays Chapel; £20. Oh no! It's sold out! £17.50 What a legend, with New Library system «3ir ; Music Heavy duty stuff as Dellemem. Big name awsome sax with Icelandic nutbar puts Damn... More ^fbrfHy, Will probably muster a voice which would usual! Glam, elec- tunes all the way to some nigh on poetic on another qood popy cliched rock up a couple of good arouse an imootent tronica, 80's etc. lyrics. Very funky! v • tunes between them. All IC Libraries and the Science Museum Library are changing to a single UNICORN computerised library system on Tuesday 7 December. The Straight Story Tarzan Guest House The Clandestine Alice et Martin Dom and Jake do End of Days Hyde Deserving of its criti- Lynch once again Astounding and Paradiso Marriage French love tale. Parle Arnie's back, and this Initial benefits will be: One catalogue which includes the The firat IC pom soci- cal acclaim and produces an excellent enthralling, if some- Mayall and Edmonson Nigel Hawthorne is Somewhat unortho time he's taking on holdings of all the IC Libraries, and a new Web interface ety production Two Oscar hype, this is a movie, free from the '.d in exactly what you splendid, in this dox, but filled with the Devil, face to for the catalogue. Find it from the Library Home Page fabulous specimens Film truly entertaining emotional hellscape would axpect from the tense;.p strong performances. face. Too stupid for http://www.lib.ic.ac.uk of his recent films. pair. Mildly amusing Excellent. words, but probably Warm and satisfying. (if you're pissed). - lots of fun. Please note: No Library loan services on Monday 6 December. The Central Library and Science Museum Library Billion Dollar Secret Neighbours finest Hour Ray Mear's Have I Got News BBC News will CLOSE on Tuesday 7 December until 14.00. BBC 7 12 15pm BBC I 9.00am Discovery channel, -.: BBC i 9.30pm Extreme Survival For You Football Spurs fc Don't be an igno 9.00pm :Dp so- Isn't war glorious? BBC 2 8 OOom BBC 2 9.00pm Loans due back on the old Libertas system will automatically rant scientist. Watch TV Cool military death ; tniifei: More terribly upseting The Arizona desert is Keep up on polotics be re-issued on the new Unicorn system. the news - there is a stuff! Top secret stories of men trying very harsh etc. Gor without nearing a old world out there! secrets unsecreted. [email protected] to kill each other. geous panoramas. catatonic state. No reservations can be carried forward to the new system. If you had reserved a book and have not yet received it, you will need to place a new reservation (now known as Mnemonic Tuner Prize Van Dyck Balm in Gilead Merchant of Complete Works holds) on the new system. Inter-library loans will carry on Remember to go - It seems McQueen's Your last chance to The seedy life of Venice of William Shake- as before for the time being. theatre de complicite speare (Abridaed) the man; a house fell see this historic col King's Cross is Shakespeare (if you are always worth the on him - but he sur lection covering explored in... Kings The Library apologises for any inconvenience during the tran- price of admission. Arts vived to win the every aspect of Van Cross reviewed next week. sition between systems. If you have a problem please email Riverside Studios prize. Dyck's work. Courtyard Theatre National Theatre [email protected] + Dirk Tate ;; Royal Academy + Dirk + Dirk 34 Crossword Felix 6 December 1999 The Felix Crossword 1160, by Turnip Henry

Across Down 1. Ah! Satan backs Presid- 1. Sphere of mesh on court. dent. (7) (7) 4. A Northern mist around 2. Not quite sweet strategy. you from the sea. (7) (6) 9. Heart could wind down. (6) 3. Randy rams get it. (4) 10 Exciting lady, perhaps, is 5. So far it sounds like a chair. contagious. (6) (4) 11 Man in Japan has arse- 6. Dignified time of year. (6) kicking capabilities. (5) 7. Sounds like poorly bird is 12 Body of water that might not allowed. (7) need a key. (4) 8. Now, back around. The 14 Water vapour could mix. worker is licentious. (6) (5) 13 Right past the house. Doh! 16 Scruffy? Neat? You're mak (5) ing a mountain... (4) 14 Mate in French? Essential. 17 It hits pig that band revers (5) es over. (6) 15 Semi-conductor is stoned. 18 A trail? Yes, but 1 don't (5) care. (6) 16 Bonus supplement. (5) 22 Extremely fast group. (4) 19 Yes. Balsam when broken 24. Chunky Sid's around. Oh is terrible. (7) 'ell. (5) 20. Up Alp ten went back to the 25 The first son sounds like he earth. (6) could. (4) 21 Laurel's mess is tempting. 27. Clothes thread to the (7) North. (5) 23. Usually unaccented, but 29. Is mule eating cereal? (6) cheerful. (6) Answers to 1159: 30. Holiday with stone figures. 26 Restaurant right in the Across: Digit, Pseudonym, Nebula, Caesar, Rapport, Torso, Rave, Connect, (6) gravy. (6) Inverse, Kiwi, Alias, Pivotal, Pistol, Spirit, Pantomime, Pupil. 31. Dead Egyptian god left the 27. Currency goes off the rail. Down: Drumstick, Ginger, Slapper, Ulcer, Merit, Tuna, Silver, Rosehip, Trivial, side. (7) (4) Menstrual, Noises, Blossom, Instep, Top-up, Islam, Acid. 32. So-so baby goat churns 28. Stick it out by a small snow-mobiles. (7) amount. (4) Your chance to win 007 Last week's competition Well, at least ticket 007 to this year's Christmas Carnival, to be held across three floors of the The winner of last week's cross Union on December 1 7th, the last word competition was Rosie Beck day of term. ett. Congratulations - please The carnival this year has a come into the Felix Office ASAP to Bond theme with full Bond decor, pick up your tickets to see Dram- music from the 007 Band and a Soc's excellent production of Dirk, different Bond theme in each. So, which is showing from Thursday you can check out some reggae, this week in the Union Concert house & garage with the Channel 39 Hall. Don't miss out on what One Sound System (one of the 17 12 should be a truly spectacular Notting Hill Carnival's longest show. running and most popular sys the laserquest in the Quad. Dress For Your Eyes Only. Although there isn't a prize for tems) in the "Live & Let Die is strictly Bond, villain or Bond The Man with the Golden Gun this week's crossword, next week's Room", stand the chance to win a girl, and there'll be a prize for the From Russia with Love mindbendingly difficult offering sexy black mountain bike in the best outfit on the night. Live and Let Die from Turnip Henry will be accom "Casino Royale", or chill out and All this costs a mere £007 - A View to A Kill. panied by a suitably impressive relax with martinis in "Pussy however, you and a friend could catch for the winner (I've got Fer- Galore's Cocktail Bar". [Mark, be going for free. To win the much Think that sounds easy? Then arri on the phone right now), so thou art truly the King of Cheese - desired ticket 007, all you have to either e-mail your answers to make sure you watch this space do you really have no shame? do is track back through your [email protected], or drop your next week. There should also be a Ed] memory or delve into your parents solutions into the Union Office regular prize attached to the There's also music from the record collections and name the before noon on Weds 8th. The crossword every week next term, Pop Tart DJs and an opportunity artists who recorded the theme winner will be announced in next so keep practicing - and, in the to live out your Bond fantasies in tunes to: weeks Felix. meantime, enjoy... 6 December 1999 Felix Ents preview 35 Bust-a-Gut Comedy

The final show in this term's Bust- (C4), The Comedy Network (C5) A-Gut comedy roster lands in and Unnatural Acts (Paramount), dB's this Friday, with the best line Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, up of the year thus far. Barratt & two of comedy's most "brilliantly Fielding are an award-winningly original and intriguing" (The List) funny double act, so don't miss comedians join forces to perform this chance to see them live and their own unique brand of anar in full flow. They'll also be sup chic comedy. port of one kind or another, plus In 1998, Julian and Noel, the unmissable comic stylings of wrote and performed in The our very own Mark Home - a man Mighty Boosh at the Edinburgh so far ahead of his time that, Festival. The show received criti sadly, no-one will get his jokes for cal acclaim, being described as the next twenty or thirty years. "truly and undeniably funny" (The

Tickets cost £2.50 (£2 with an Scotsman) and went on to take Ents Card) and are available on the prestigious Perrier Best New the door or from the Union Office comer award (the previous win all week. Doors open at 7.45pm, ners of which include the likes of with the show pencilled in to start Harry Hill). at roughly 8.30. Noel and Julian have recently returned from the Edinburgh Fes Julian Barratt & Noel Fielding tival once again, with their smash hit follow-up show Arctic Boosh. Having starred alongside one They are now preparing their own another in the hit TV shows Gas television show.

iCU Jazz and Rock presents... INI RAVENOUS SMILE D U Class 1 Laser Product s K In DBs on Thursday 9 December — first band on stage @8pm FREE CALAMARI Xmas Xtravaganza - 15/12/99 — Cairo Jacks

http://listen.to/calamari Flyers from Union office [email protected] Jnilever

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Be part of it. 6 December 1999 Felix Clubs & Societies 37 Linux Users Group RCS University Challenge

Linux has been in the news a lot install and easier to manage than The time has now come for the our predecessors and send four recently, but, just as with other buzz previous versions. In the recent Las Royal College of Science Union to random volunteers, and hope for words, few ordinary people know Vegas Comdex show Corel's ver launch the 2000-2001 University the best possible outcome. How what it is. In its most basic defini sion of Linux was claimed to be Challenge Campaign. Imperial ever, we are looking for a group tion, Linux is a collection of pro "easier to install than Windows". Students have won this prestigious of razor sharp, outgoing, lively grams that control and run a com More and more vendors are national competition in the past, individuals capable of working puter, usually a PC. This collection realising the potential of the free and earlier this year the medical together as a team (and taking on of programs is referred to as an operating system market and are school opened up the possibility the formidable force of Paxman). "operating system". From the point writing software for Linux as fast as of Constituent College Union The selection process, will of view of the computer user, Linux they can. Some well know names entry, by getting a team of med involve you (as an individual) is what allows him/her to commu are Matlab, Mathematica, IDL, Star ical students to represent the Col proving yourself not only as a nicate with the computer. The oper Office (now owned by Sun), Corel, lege on the world renowned tele prodigious fountain of general ating system determines how a and even Silicon Graphics. The vision show. Although their knowledge, but also as a team computer runs tasks, the kind of question should be rephrased to: progress exceeded that of the player, with an excellent 'televi software that can be loaded, and Why not Linux? 'official' IC team, who never sion personality'. The contest will what kind of "interface" it can made it to the televised rounds, culminate with a democratic have. Examples of other operating the medics performance left a lot selection by al! those present. systems are Unix, MacOs, and the Who is using Linux? to be desired. The RCSU has now So, do you want to be on TV? ubiquitous Windows. taken up the baton, with its sights Could you outwit Paxman? If so - If you ask the same question to Linux is moving slowly from the firmly set on this year's trophy. and as long as you will be a reg the great majority of Linux users the exclusive realm of Computer Sci Amongst the thousands of our istered student during the next answer you will probably get is: ence departments to other universi students, we must be able to find academic year - just turn up at the Linux is cool. To explain this suspi ty departments, and ultimately to four who can combine to become selection meeting ciously smug answer let's ask more the real world (well, almost). There a team better than anyone else's questions. are a few companies that have in the country. We definitely have Selection: become converts after bad experi the students to win this competi Clore Lecture Theatre (Huxley) ences with unreiiable systems and it tion - we just need to find them. 17.30 , Tuesday 14th December. Why Linux? is, together with Unix, one of the We could follow the example of best systems for Web servers. Here Linux was invented because its at Imperial, the Linux user commu inventor, Linus Torvalds, did not like nity is growing and active, as exem what was on offer to run his PC. He plified by the activities of the Linux offered his brainchild free of Users Group and its ic-linux-group Imperial Winds charge to the world, with the con mailing list. There are several dition that it should be kept freely departments that run computers with NT/Linux partitions and available and open to anyone who The Imperial Winds is a sub group because of its advantages for sci wanted to add to it. Hence, from of the Symphony Orchestra and is entific use it is gaining followers in the start Linux was destined to be now in its third year. Under the research areas. born and raised by creative pro baton of our conductor, Colonel grammers who not only wanted Candid comments from a few Duncan Beat, the band has grown quality but also took pride in their Aeronautics students (both under to a regular 45 players covering a contributions. Imagine, that the graduate and postgraduate): "quite range of abilities. Linux factory is the whole world, easy to install", "OK, screen fonts A wind band is made up of a and its personnel are some of the need some work but I am quite brass section (trumpets, trom best programmers anywhere - and impressed with it", "I am not very bones, french horns and tuba), a all are working for free! experienced but I have found Linux woodwind section (flutes, clar The end result is an operating to be very reliable and consider inets, bassoons, saxophones and system that is open, free, easily ably quicker than NT.it 'feels' oboe) and percussion. We have a available (on any archive site), sup more stable", "Very reliable and wide ranging repertoire, covering ported by a huge number of users fun desktop", "lovely operating sys pieces from classical to jazz - and developers, dependable, sta tem, I like going to the Internet and whatever people want to play. ble and very powerful. Oh, and find anything I like", "A lot of the Our rehearsals are fun and infor free. free software is brilliant". mal. Something is fishy here, I hear Our free Winter Concert will you mumble. Nothing can be that be held on Tuesday 14th Decem ers, especially percussionists and good? Well... there are a few How do I learn more? ber at 18.30 in the Great Hall, french horn players. For more drawbacks. Until recently, it has Sherfield. This year's programme information on the concert or been said that to own Linux meant Come to the next Linux Symposium includes Hoist's Second Suite in F, joining the band please e-mail having to be a hacker. Nowadays organised by the Linux Users The Blue and The Grey (a selec the chair at the address below. this is not entirely true, because Group or, alternatively, visit tion of American Civil War pieces) there are many companies and free http://linux.cc.ic.ac.uk/ to sub and Trumpets Wild along with Contact Lorna distributors that are producing scribe to our mailing list. Hope to some festive tunes. [email protected] Linux packages that are easy to hear from you soon! We always welcome new play- 38 Sport Felix 6 December 1999 IC takes BUSA by storm Imperial hits the target

Tenpin Bowling Archery

At last weekend's BUSA Tenpin the vice-captain of the BUSA Imperial College vs The World Gavin was attacked by an empty Bowling Championships in Not ladies team for the coming year. Lucozade bottle. tingham, Imperial produced the Not to be outdone, our two top On Sunday 28th November, the There were, however, excellent best result in years - having three male bowlers - Graham Johnston honourary company of Imperial performances from all archers, representatives in the elite ten and Robert Crosbie - also pro College archers set out, bows in particularly the captain who swept men and ten women BUSA team duced fantastic games. Rob con hand, to the darkest suburbs of the board and washed the floor for 99/00. Coincidentally, we sistently bowled games of 187, Uxbridge and the Brunei University with everyone else's hair (Well not also have the largest number of 195, 202, 203 and 197 to aver Open. This incorporated the BUSA quite; silver in BUSA, bronze in the BUSA representatives of any of age 191 for the day. With his Southern Area Universities and uni Universities and 4th in the Open.) the universities present. excellent debut showing, Rob versity competitions. Keith and Ruth managed personal Our top woman bowler, Eliz came in third overall in the final Our secret weapon was Leo's bests and came 28th and 16th abeth Ivory, scorched the lanes standings. Both of them automat clicker because it managed to respectively; Matt and Gavin both with blistering scores of 201, ically qualified for the BUSA squeak every time she shot - to our shot wel! to finish joint 33rd and 209, 181, 189 and 190 en route team. This is an amazing feat opponents' dismay. We met some 41 st out of 65 men. to a brilliant 176 average over from all three of them consider very nice people who chatted lots Despite this being the first tour nine games. She was ranked third ing that there were about 230 and offered bits of advice. There nament for all bar the captain, a overall in the ladies section and male and 70 female bowlers were several strange Surrey people thoroughly good time was had by easily qualified for the BUSA present at the championships! who had war paint on and one all and lots of jelly babies were team. She was also picked to be Mark Tham guy looked like a raccoon. consumed. (And we didn't have to The journey there and back get up early either.) You can now submit your reports to the was crap - the tube bounced too Training takes place every all new [email protected] email account. much and yours truly ended up with Monday and Friday at 6pm in the Just do it! a very messy article. Oh, and Sports Centre's Projectile Hal!.

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Football - fifths Football - sevenths

QMW VI Andy Pease keeping the score level, IC VII 1 We kept our heads up though, IC V before we took the lead with a 3 rd Kings VI 4 and managed to equalise when goal of the season from Gazza. Mark finished superbly off a great After last week's 12 goal extrava In the 2nd half we again started Our last meeting with the side free kick by Leacho. ganza against Goldsmiths IV, which poorly, letting them score from a currently leading the 6th division We started the 2nd half with was shared 6-6, we knew we had to corner with a tap in from inside the ended in a very heavy defeat, so our heads up, but they scored get back on the winning trail against 6 yard box. As the half wore on, we were all really up for this shortly after the re-start from a a mid-table side who had neverthe though, we began to click into gear game. Due to some freak train good header. We then lost Bar less beaten some good teams. with great work at left back from delays, we actually got to their ney to injury, and from then on it With many players missing from Tiger and on the right from Vince. A ground half an hour before they was always going to be difficult. the squad, and our keeper once cross from the left from Dino then did! We continued fighting for every again called to higher things with fell to Spaceman, whose persistence Kings started extremely ball, and we were dangerous on the 4th team, we started the game in a ruck of players saw the ball into aggressively, and we found our several occasions as the wingers rather slowly, conceding an early the net from close in to regain the selves pushed back to our own managed some good counter goal when a lightning fast break lead at 3-2. There was no looking half. However, despite the attacks. Longy managed to kick from the QMW front line outpaced back from there, with Andy in goal notable absences of Caprano the bar at one point off a great the defence to slot one home. The having a great game, and even Dij and Andy Smith, our defence cross by Keri! However, as the 5th team spirit is fast becoming leg and God coming very close to scor held solid. Despite all their pos half wore on we started to tire, endary, however, and we didn't let it ing. Dino took the chance of notch session, Kings only created a and they scored two more goals phase us, with an equalising goal ing up a second hattrick of the sea handful of opportunities in the against our now makeshift coming almost immediately from son, with the third goal a brilliant first 40 minutes. However, they defence. the boot of Dino, back on the goal curling left foot shot from the edge finally broke through when a However, it was a brave and trail after 2 weeks off. With QMW's of the area. A late debut appear cracking shot took an unfortunate spirited performance by all of the pacey forwards always threatening, ance by Steve from the 7ths was deflection off the Guvnor (playing IC VII squad, and this result the rest of the half was fairly even - another bonus from the day, and IC in an unfamiliar left-back role) should bode well for the remain a great save from stand-in keeper V's march on. and flew past Andy Pease in goal. der of the season. IN BRIEF

Crosscountry Boat Club Netball Hockey

We boarded the tube at South The weekend before last saw the ICSM 18 Imperial IV 1 Kensington, and 21 stops later we Imperial College and Queens IC 40 GKT III 1 reached beautiful Cockfosters - Tower Boat clubs romp home to home of Middlesex University. glory yet again ahead of Oxford For the first time the sun shined on The fourth team's eternal quest to Miss Whiplash continued to and even the GB Elite squad, IC Netball team as we ventured field a full side remained unfulfilled, dominate the all comers, picking Leander. down to Teddington. After ogling despite Feminine Geordie leading up her own gold medal, ably The Fours Head has teams the rugby players the match final by example and squeezing his large backed up by Louise in 13th. The from almost all clubs in the ly started. Everything went well, posterior into a keepers kit. woman's team came third overall, country taking part, with the start with shots flying in from all angles The match began promisingly despite not having a third runner. number for each crew taken from from our super shooters Sarah as the 10 warriors present scored Imperial provided 10 of the last year's finishing position. The and Shirley. The first quarter an early goal (that's been 2 goals first 12 men and won the team ICQT mens coxed four won sen ended with us 8-3 up, a lead we coming) from the penalty spot, due championships, with the 'B' team ior two, as did the QT men's would not lose. During the (extra to the GKT keeper being intent on in second place, easily beating quad and the women's coxed long) second quarter our players putting "I'm too good for DBs" on UCL, King's and Holloway firsts. four, the women's coxless four were flying all over the place. In his arse. The second half was not so Stan-ron was first home, win won the elite level open (the top the centre court Jane, Jess and impressive - IC milled about in ning a second gold individual level of entry for this regatta). Dorothy intercepted nearly every usual fourths style and conceded a medal to add to his collection. XXX To put all this in context, pass. At half time we were streak weak goal. Then the fourths nearly ing ahead 17-8. Thanks to our Gaffer was next in to collect silver, together ICQT won 4 pennants scored again, but old habits die extra stretchy defence, Kirsty and with the Veteran arriving 4th. Frank compared to Oxford, Leander hard and the match finished 1-1. Kathryn, ICSM scored only 10 and Stereo-Dan finished joint 5th, and Oxford Brokes who each got Following his recent yellow streak more goa!s. Substitute shooter holding hands like the daisies they two and dozens of other BUSA and extreme deviant behaviour, Rebekah arrived at half time to are, with Daisy Boy right behind and club crews who at best got Grease & Groom umpired the dart around the circle scoring completing the team. one each. game admirably and managed to goals at a rate of knots, and the We left Trent Park confirmed Well rowed IC. avoid getting involved in a ruck. score was 40 by the end of the once again as the undisputed Well done that man! Bring on the match. Congratulations - still champions of London. Until next Cross Country win ULU!! ULU cup so we can groove on with unbeaten in the Union. time boys... -< the Diiisco Boys! 40 Sport Felix 6 December 1999

Imperial edged out by Brunei SCOREBOARD DARTS (Mixed) IC 6-9 Southside Rugby - Sponsored by AALTRAN High score - Wardy (1 35) Check-out - Dave H (77) ic i 25 Brunei Institute II 30 FOOTBALL (Mens)

This was no friendly, with Brunei Wednesday 1/12 still smarting from their defeat IC I 1-2 UCL I last year. With this in mind, Rod IC II 1-2 RSM I Hull, the Brunei coach, fielded IC IV 1-2 Goldsmiths his best possible side including a IC VI w/o UCL VI few first team players, and our IC VII 1-4 KCL VI ex-coach Graham the Nonce. We'll get you next time mate. The Saturday 28/1 1 stiff first half wind worked in the IC I 0-2 KCL I RE. teacher's favour and it was IC II 1-3 SBLH only monumental work from the ICC Ml 0-3 GKT II forwards and flashes of inspira The ball heads on it's majestic path towards goal Photo: Dave IC IV 1-3 LSE IV tion in the backs (Jim R in partic IC V 5 - 2 QMW VI ular) that allowed us to lead 1 7 - with the wind deserting us They would have been more IC VI 1-2 KCL V 1 3 at the break. allowed them back into the excited with the score but half of They brought on some big fat game. In the end they scored them couldn't count. This thought HOCKEY (Mens) bastards at halftime and the sec some dull tries and despite some (and a party bus on the way IC IV 1-1 GKT I ond half quickly took the form of spirited play from us they man home) made sure the day was one long scrum. This combined aged to hold out. enjoyed by all. NETBALL (Womens) IC I 40-18 ICSM I

RUGBY (Mens) Virgins shut out Cambridge IC I 25 - 30 Brunei II

RUGBY (Womens) Women's Rugby IC I 27-0 Cambridge

IC Virgins 27 defending we!!. Eventually Betsy After half time we carried on Cambridge II 0 broke through to score her first of the way we left off with excellent four tries. They tried hard for the handling, rucking and mauling. This "friendly" match started off as next 5 minutes but we broke They had a scrum on their line In the true spirit of Christmas, we a day trip to Cambridge. We did through again. Curly Clare con but Emma nicked the ball and Betsy now present, for your viewing n't have a full team due to injuries verted the try despite it being only went over again. More good play pleasure, and at no added cost, but neither did they. We took pity her second place kick ever. resulted in a try for Ling and then an entertaining festive space. on them and lent them Beth (well By then we were beginning to Betsy's final try. she had been on a pub crawl the enjoy ourselves and notice odd In the end it was great to breath night before, and wasn't exactly a things about their players. They some unpolluted country air, kick picture of good health). had a hunchback for a wing and some butt and have a great meal We spent long periods of time their hooker could have shaped courtesy of Ling's parents. camped in their 22, but they were straight out of St. Trinnians.

You will notice on turning the page headlines is nice, but doesn't quite sports finishing their seasons for that Cross Country have become the have the same effect once it has another year, now is the perfect time first IC team this year to win a trophy been typed out. So, when you win, to submit a report/review of the year! - retaining the ULU title. It's a shame shout about it, and shout lots! Unfortunately I won't be here, so that they didn't make more of it with Which reminds me, next week is have a great Christmas and an even a bigger report. Submitting it on nice the last issue of 1999, and with better 2000. paper, printed out in colour with big BUSA drawing to a close and some Cheers, Gus Nice.