THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE Vol. VII No. 1 2 May 2007 ONE NIGHT IN WESTMINSTER SUNDAY 28 JANUARY, ST JOHN’S, SMITH SQUARE St John’s Church, in the middle of Smith Square in played Light Music for Strings, a medley of Catalan Westminster, a stone’s throw from the Houses of folk tunes sewn together and orchestrated by Noel Parliament, is an imposing Baroque masterpiece built Rawsthorne, a past Organist of Liverpool Cathedral. It in 1728. Utterly symmetrical, with four towers was a polished performance from the start, with a crowning the corners and almost as wide as it is long, mellow string tone. Some of the later faster passages it delights the eye from many angles. The church has were not entirely tight, but stylish nonetheless. been dubbed ‘Queen Anne’s Footstool’ from a story At this point we saw the first of many smooth that the architect, Thomas Archer, consulted Queen transitions and lightening-quick stage setting before Anne on the design of the new church. In reply the the Brass Ensemble marched on, lead by Stephen monarch petulantly kicked over her footstool and Keavy. This was Galliard Battaglia – a polychoral snapped ‘like that!’ The church is now one of brass piece – and in the organ loft at the back the London’s finest concert venues, attracting Succentor approved, ‘Every good concert has some internationally renowned artists and performers (as Scheidt,’ he said. This was jaunty with plenty of bass well as nationally renowned public schools who can and neat echo effects. afford the stiff hiring fees). Sir Hugh Casson, the architect wrote, ‘just to come across it in that quiet The Guitar Ensemble appeared: four taps and they square is an event. To enjoy its spaces, to listen to fine were off. There’s something about guitarists that music, is an experience not to be matched in makes them infinitely cooler than orchestral players, conventional halls.’ don’t you think? There was a fair amount of staring into the wings and bearing of teeth in concentration or The Music Department decamped here one Sunday intense distraction – hard to tell which – and seven sets afternoon after weeks of meticulous, almost military of hands strumming in unison: simply mesmerising. I planning: three coaches; hundreds of packed meals; enjoyed this very much, not expecting to; furthermore over 100 Radleians; 20 choristers; 20 dons; over 60 it did not feel out of place in this venerable building. instruments to transport and millions of notes of music The rest of the audience seemed neither mesmerised to rehearse – it was an ambitious affair. Why, though, nor distracted, giving the disparate couldn’t we just have used the Silk group an immediate ovation, and, dare Hall? If you were there you will ‘…the prosecco was I report it, a muted cheer. The place understand, but otherwise read on and was warming up, the prosecco was find out. kicking in…’ kicking in, and a great atmosphere was The concert began, as is traditional, with the College developing. Pipers lead by Pipemaster Lyndon Ingram. This was Pelham Groom (E) – one of a distinguished minority an atmospheric start to the concert, and the pipers of Radleians for whom simply their Christian name is played as well as I can remember them playing, identification enough (note to parents – next term we immaculately kitted out, of course, in kilts and all the introduce a numbering system from one to 120 for all rest. There can’t be many nights of the year when the the Harrys and Charlies) – has an unflappable and very sound of the pipes rolls across Smith Square into the cool stage presence. Guitarists often have to cope with quiet streets of Westminster. housekeeping on stage like microphone moving and The Chamber Orchestra, led by Arthur Sawbridge (E), sound checks, but Pelham copes with any kind of

– – — INSIDE — – – A Poll – page 4 • Social Stereotype – page 5 • Prague Tour – page 6 • A Message from the PM – page 9 Steeplechase – page 15 • A Tutor’s Diary – page 24 • Correspondence – page 27 and much more… 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE delay or technical disaster with a deadpan comment; melodies by Vaughan Williams that he wrote from for many of us, it’s now part of the entertainment. scratch but sound centuries old – was played in a ‘Two-fifths of The Spring Offensive’ sang Until beautiful arrangement with the brass beginning in Tomorrow, one of their lyrical original numbers. Theo colliery-band mode. Now we can’t pretend this was Whitworth (C) and Pelham’s high tenors sang this immaculate, with ongoing confusion in the middle semi-folk melody with impeccable harmony and a parts, but then it was an enormous gathering of players range of tone extracted from their guitars – from some on stage, from Shells upwards. Simon Carr, taking Spanish touches in places to (as seems unlikely but my time off from doubling as the BBC’s Political Editor, notes have it) some Britten-esque harmony at the end was directing very clearly but perhaps some of the at ‘let me stay until tomorrow’. Haunting. players could have raised their eyes to the baton from time to time? The Slavonic Dance no. 1 by Dvorak The Radley Clerkes, enjoying a resurgence in the last was, by contrast, upbeat and rhythmically exciting, as few years under the Precentor’s guidance, were led on of course a dance should be. It was impressive to see stage by a shocking pink tie belonging to Seb Lomas so many of our younger wind and brass musicians (H) before singing two close harmony numbers playing together so well. arranged by a former music don, Peter Gritton. Feelin’ Groovy was a confident and relaxed performance: this The Big Band played Watermelon Man by Hancock is a group who have performed a lot together and are with a great sense of swing. This was an experienced now learning the higher skills of audience ensemble, relaxed in each other’s company, projecting entertainment now the notes are secure. There were a powerful sound (nine trumpets – a Very Big Band great stereo effects, and some notable solos – Rory indeed). Seb Lomas, he of the pink tie, stepped Stallibrass (C), George Nye (E), unique alto Ali forward for a solo, followed by Torsten Christian (F). Maxwell (A) and counter-tenor Ben Sheen (C) each The Full Throttle Funk, probably never before heard stepped forward. Hernando’s in this building, and three Hideaway was a witty words I’ve never seen arrangement at a faster together before, turned out to tempo. The altos shone, the be a fast movin’, toe-tappin’ basses provided solid polished romp of a piece, support, and all ended showcasin’ along the way strongly on an ‘ole!’ Removes Jack Emmett (H) and Charles Cutteridge (D) I Was Glad – one of the most on sax, and Rory famous English anthems of Robinson (F) depping at the all, and a favourite at back on drums. Very coronations and weddings enjoyable. alike – is a setting of Psalm 122 by Sir Hubert Parry. The The temptation with Chapel Choir, Radley saxophone groups and pieces choristers, and the Choir of Eaton House, the Manor is always to make a pun: Safer Sax was quite an assembled on stage and then the magnificent obvious one. Our Saxophone Quintet gave an introduction began. The Sainsbury Organ (donated by, entertaining performance of it anyway: Rory Robinson not bought from) was built by Klais & Sons of Bonn led on soprano sax, with promising Shell player Tom and famously expensive, but what a sound! Like a Buckley (B) and Seb Lomas on altos with Charles large BMW it was smooth and sophisticated most of Cutteridge and Callum Davidson (D) on baritones. the time but just sometimes you felt the power left in There were complicated middle parts going on here, reserve. The Succentor played it splendidly, sending and some great close harmony moments. Again, not the sound over the heads of the audience from the west something that leapt off the page of the programme, end loft to the choir, who rose to the challenge with but high-quality entertainment. The audience were 100 voices split over eight independent parts. Spine- enjoying themselves and the concert was whizzing by. tingling moments abounded, particularly in the There was a small break for logistics to take over at antiphonal ‘Jerusalem...Jerusalem ...is built...is built...’ this point: getting a large orchestra and grand piano on middle section when the melody was thrown back and stage is not an easy affair. Jonathan Williams (H) was forth between the two choirs. At the end we heard the soloist in the first movement of Grieg’s Piano exactly what the organ could do when the throttle was Concerto in A minor. From the dramatic flourish of opened – a grand, warm, fiery sound. octaves at the start, we sensed that here was a pianist After the Foundation’s reception downstairs in the who knew the piece confidently. He played from crypt the second half opened with two pieces from the memory, of course, and with such wild Byronic hair Concert Band. Linden Lea – one of those folk song that we knew that here was a serious musician. The

2 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 tempo was relatively fast yet there was still lyricism, – never fun to a regatta, always fun with the Music although perhaps not as much rubato as is usual. The Department – packed lunches to plunder; some free orchestra was superb – supporting flexibly and surging time in Westminster; and a great space to perform in. forth when given reign to do so. Jonathan’s ripples of For others their first experience of free-market semiquavers sounded effortless as his hands economics came with the crisp-bartering leapfrogged along the keyboard. Again he system set up to cope with the mismatch of could have pulled up at times and made supply and demand – ‘I’ll give you three more of the turning points, but all felt secure Ready Salted for one Prawn Cocktail,’ I and together with the orchestra nonetheless. heard from one enterprising Shell. This was exceedingly good playing for a We are a country school, of course, but just schoolboy. Here came those famous minor now and then it is absolutely the right thing chords again – dum dum da da dah – yet to do to venture wholesale into the big city. It they sounded almost cheerful this time! Ah was a very full day for those that left after well, the soloist himself was starting to Chapel and returned near to midnight, but smile and enjoy himself as he relaxed into well worth it to establish a Radleian cultural the performance. The tempo did not let up foothold in Westminster for those wonderful until the cadenza, Grieg’s own, which two hours. contains tricky filigree passagework up at the top end testing the performer’s sensitivity and control. All were gripped by the playing, watching with minimal THE CHRONICLE IS TWO breathing as Jonny crouched low over the keyboard The Chronicle’s second birthday will occur when the like a young Glenn Gould without the muttering then first issue of Volume VII is published later in May. stormed up and down in a frenzy of immaculate The first issue was published on 6 May 2005 and octaves. A standing ovation followed, deservedly, and consisted of just 12 pages, but many of the our soloist looked as happy as we have ever seen him. characteristic features of the newspaper were in place The two movements from the Shostakovich Suite for from the start – the distinctive Character yellowy Jazz Orchestra were simply enjoyable and zipped paper, the old-fashioned two-column format and the along, alternating from bounce to melancholy. Charles logo on the front page. The number of pages per issue Cutteridge had the clarinet solo, and the orchestra was has crept up, and of the twenty issues published over led by Myles Watkiss (H). This was clearly an the two years there have been three issues of 28 pages orchestra that knew what it was doing. The March was (approx 20,000 words each) and eight issues of 24 another foot-tapper with lots going on. It sounded like pages each, making over 300,000 words published in Sousa in places, oddly, and the powerful brass section total. A satirical side of the Chronicle developed stood out here. quickly and by the end of the first term the ongoing series A Tutor’s Diary had been established. The The Warden spoke briefly to congratulate the Overheard column of quotes was introduced in the performers and explain that the retiring collection was first term, and the Telegraph-inspired Social for a Leukaemia charity nominated by Freddie Stereotypes series of ‘characters that may be spotted in Tapner (F), who would, of course, have been playing a Social near you’ appeared early in the second term. in nearly everything were he not in hospital. There has been a policy of anonymous articles from Jerusalem with full orchestra and organ was a spine- the start, in the tradition of the original Radleian, tingling experience. We went out into the night, back Harrovian, and similar school newspapers; this to our green oasis in the country, humming the music attracted sufficient criticism to warrant an explanation that we had heard and impressed by the quality and ‘In Defence of Anonymity’ on the cover of the Gaudy variety of music making that is flourishing now at issue 2005. I won’t repeat the arguments here, but it’s Radley. available (as are all back issues) in pdf format on the Congratulations and thanks to the Music Department: intranet, accessible from the front page. A fuller Mr Carr, Miss Naylor, Dr Morris, Mr Williams, Mr analysis will appear in the birthday issue. Clarke, and the Music Administrator, Mrs We are looking to recruit Editors and Assistant Editors Gunningham, for their hard work behind the scenes as to write, review, commission, edit, proof-read, work well as on stage, in organising and rehearsing this on the page layouts and our intranet editing site; there extravaganza. To return to the question posed at the are great opportunities to get early experience of start – yes, the very same programme could have been journalism, editing, managing writers and seeing your staged in the Silk Hall or Chapel but this was a own work in print regularly. Please contact LB or ISY biannual treat. Many of the older Radleians if you would like to get involved in some way – all are performing had given the impression of looking welcome, from the Shells upwards. forward very much to this event: there was the bus trip 3 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE A POLL ON TRAVEL OVERHEARD… More than half the British population fly at least twice A regular column devoted to memorable quotes from a year. (Sunday Times, 18 Feb 2007) Radleians, we all quarters of College.

thought, probably fly considerably more than that, so Overheard in the Classics Department: we asked a sample of 50 via an email questionnaire. Boy: ‘Sir, how is it you know the word for “condom” in Greek?’ How many plane flights have you been on in your life? Don: ‘Well, you just pick these things up as you go (A return journey counts as two.) around…’ 0: 0%, 1-4: 2%, 5-10: 0%, 11-20: 8%, 21-30: 70%, 31-50: 16%, 50+: 4% Overheard in a Physics lesson: How many plane flights do you make every year, at the Don: ‘…and so I broke various bones in my body moment? because my motorbike obeyed the laws of Physics.’ 0: 0%, 1-2: 54%, 3-4: 32%, 5-6: 6%, 7-10: 4%, Boy: ‘Sir, how does it feel to be screwed over by your 11+: 4% own subject?’

Are you concerned about your CO2 emissions when Overheard in an English lesson: flying? Don to VI.1: ‘Will you please not talk about sex with Yes: 34%, No: 66% your mouth full.’ Do you or your parents try to reduce your carbon Overheard in a Class. Civ. lesson on narrative and emissions? structure in the Odyssey: Yes: 28%, No: 72% Don: ‘You’ve got to think about the overall shape of How many holidays do you have a year? the book… so…?’ 0: 0%, 1-2: 24%, 3-4: 62%, 5-6: 12%, 7+: 2% Pause Remove: ‘…It’s rectangular?’ Have you ever been skiing?

Yes: 100%, No: 0% Overheard in the Classics Department: How many times do you go skiing a year? Don: ‘The Reverend Hillard wouldn’t stand for foreplay.’ 0: 0%, 1-2: 90%, 3-4: 10%, 5+: 0% Boy: ‘Sir, you have a very medieval sense of humour.’ If you had a choice of a week doing either, would you prefer a skiing holiday or a beach holiday? Overheard in the English Department: Ski: 56%, Beach: 44% Don: ‘Had a great dinner party last night – some fantastic cheese consumed.’ Have you ever been Val d’Isere, the French ski resort? Boy: ‘Is it true that cheese gives you nightmares?’ Yes: 62%, No: 38% Don: ‘Depends on how much you’ve had to drink.’ Have you ever been to Val do Lobo, the Portuguese beach resort? Overheard in Modern Languages: Yes: 42%, No: 58% Boy A: ‘What does the question mean by “digital platforms”?’ What seems staggering is that this survey points to Boy B: ‘Electronic shoes?’ every Radleian travelling by plane at least once a year, going skiing at least once a year and on another Overheard in the English Department: holiday too – our carbon footprints must be enormous. Are they offset? No. Are our holiday habits likely to Don: ‘I make the sausage of knowledge, wrap it up, become more environmentally friendly with the and feed it back to you – I am the sausage maker.’ European flight market deregulated and the trans- Boy: ‘Sir, do you really wrap up your own sausage?’ Atlantic one soon to be opened up?

Please keep sending us (printable) quotes – to [email protected].

4 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 SOCIAL STEREOTYPES A series of recognizable Radley characters who may be lurking in a Social near you… 8. THE FACEBOOKER Marmaduke, or just simply ‘the Duke’ when online, favour by writing on his. Of course, it is de rigeur to discovered Facebook over Christmas and, from the end every message with a line of xxxs, just to prove moment he read the words ‘online networking’, had a that these friends are genuine. funny feeling that this site would change his life... He whiles away hours of his free time engaging in Now, three months on, he has 439 Facebook ‘Friends’ full-scale Poke (Facebook is now set as the home page listed, over 200 of whom, amazingly, appear to be of his browser so he can check how his eSocial life is girls. Collecting Friends dominates his time spent on going, second by second). Prep and lesson-time are Facebook – he trawls around for the slightest whiff of frustrating parts of the day since his favourite site is any name, preferably female, he can remember from blocked during those hours, but, to compensate, he prep school or parties. Of his 120 Friends at Downe plays The Official Cambridge Facebook Song House, he has met barely a dozen, and spoken to fewer endlessly on his iPod while counting down the minutes still, but this doesn’t matter – eFriends are just as until unblock time. important than flesh-and-blood relationships to Life was meaningless before Facebook: he can hardly Marmaduke. imagine his old existence. He realises it’s becoming an He is a member of over 170 groups, including "I went addiction, but, hey, there are worse things, he thinks. to a boarding school, therefore I’m better than you", As he profile-surfs he approaches a higher plane of "The Great Radley vs Abingdon Facebook Race" (first consciousness, fingers and mouse a blur, combing to 100 members wins) and the pointless ‘How much through profile after profile of cool people and gazing wood could a wood-chucker chuck if a wood-chucker enviously at the hundreds of random party photos could chuck wood’. Marmaduke is very pleased as he attached to each. recently has been made an Officer, title: ‘Duke of Meanwhile his Tutor has recently discovered the Radley’ in the ‘The Really Nice Cool People Group Internet and joined Facebook too (Aberystwyth but, eating away at his growing confidence is the network). ‘How naff is that?’ says Duke’s (one worry that someone in his year will have started one genuine) friend Petrus. ‘He’s probably just looking up called ‘If 10 million people join this group ex-girlfriends from the 1950s or whenever’. But one Marmaduke will go to Warden’s Assembly completely day the Duke is summoned down to the study for a naked’. chat, followed by another one with the Warden: his He tries to ensure a continual stream of posts appears Tutor’s learning curve was steeper than they realised. on his Wall. Knowing that you can become seriously Now he wishes he hadn’t posted that photo from cool if your Wall is constantly scribbled upon, he Petrus’ 17th: the light was poor but someone has writes vigorously all over others’ Walls: popular helpfully tagged it – ‘Marmaduke’ and ‘a sheep’. Headington girls (who, of course, he’s never met); He is now a member of the Stowe network. some guys who are apparently ‘big guns’ at Teddies; and prolific posters in the hope that they’ll return the

5 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE MUSIC TOUR TO PRAGUE 9-13 FEBRUARY The last day before Leave Away. While most boys are The concert turned out to be a triumph, which may depositing themselves and general junk into mummy’s explain why the next concert on Monday was also so Land Rover, members of the orchestra and choir busy. gathered with varying amounts of excitement (Shells In the evening, we all went out for supper as a gang literally bouncing around, Removes and Vths and had a lovely meal in a restaurant that was partly pretending they were above it all, and the Sixth Form underground. It was dimly lit and there were skulls getting everything done as usual). Although moments around the place – a little strange. It was at this joint of mayhem ensued, somehow the whole party (50 that one boy asked the bartender for a ‘cold hot boys plus SDJC, SLN, TMM, KH, JCN, SVC and Mrs chocolate’… Williams) managed to get onto the coach with no instruments, music or Shells forgotten; spirits of the SLN and JCN showed us some of the sights of Prague: dons noticeably rose as we drove off campus. we walked from the Charles Bridge to Wenceslas Square. Wenceslas Square was huge and had the The plane was an hour delayed so the Clerkes and National Museum at the end of it, along with lots of friends decided to start entertaining the airport with all shops that you would find in London, like Hugo Boss. their songs. There were people gathering and even We saw the memorial for two young men who had taking photos. Eventually we were called to our gate. tried to fight against the Communists when the tanks We arrived in Prague quite late and found our lodging came rolling in. – Hotel Albion, appropriately enough. We got up quite On the Sunday we got up early to go and sing the early the next day and went on a sight- Mass in St Vitus Cathedral: we had just seeing trip. With us was our full time 10 minutes to rehearse and then we guide, Paul, who talked to us in our were into it. The cathedral was coach. He would say, ‘Good Morning absolutely freezing, and, listening to the Everyone’ to which there would be a Czech gabbling, we didn’t know which huge roar from the crowd. Some of his were the prayers or the sermon. We trademark quotes were ‘Springy knew the tune to some of the hymns so weather today,’ ‘we meet at the Stony there was some la, la-ing from the Bridge,’ and ‘look at the glassy organ loft where we were stationed, windows’. Well, you had to be there. high up in the north transept. Mozart’s We saw the castle and walked down to Missa Brevis and Ireland’s Greater the Charles Bridge. At the castle we Love all went well, but for the rest of saw the Changing of the Guard and a the time we tended to play Rock-Paper- street band. We then had twenty Scissors in silence so that we didn’t minutes free time which I took to go disturb the cathedral organist loudly and look round St Vitus Cathedral within the walls of taking calls on his mobile…. Prague Castle: we were to sing there on the Sunday. After that we had just twenty minutes to have lunch Later on, I discovered that I was supposed to pay, but before going to the Jewish Quarter. Prague used to entering the cathedral by the exit, I hadn’t realised, so have lots of Jews but after the mass deportations in the I didn’t. The cathedral has about 20 side chapels; some Second World War there remain just 1600 Jewish of them were amazing, especially the one for King people in the city. We had a guided tour around some Wenceslas which was riddled with gemstones. There of the synagogues: there used to be six working was also a mini organ which someone was playing. synagogues, but now there is only one; the rest are King Wenceslas (the good one, remember, from the museums. One of the synagogues that we visited had carol) is very important to the Czech people, so he gets all the names of the people that died in the Holocaust a nice place to rest in the national cathedral. painted on the walls: it was amazing. I couldn’t Our walk finished at the famous Charles Bridge, the believe how many people just from the Czech bridge was made for Charles IV, and did not originally Republic had died. To think that some people now – have any statues. However the Catholics wanted to there was a conference in the Middle East recently – have some and so built thirty. There are now seventy- are trying to say that it never happened... five statues. After that we went on a boat down the River Vltava In the afternoon we rehearsed for the concert in the (famous from Smetana’s patriotic orchestral suite, Ma Martinŭ Hall, Academy of Music. By 4:40pm, the hall Vlast). We went under the Charles Bridge, and saw was packed and at 5:00pm it was standing room only! lots of the buildings that we had seen, from a different 6 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 view. During this trip, the Clerkes and friends sang but still managed to set up a stage with the British and songs again and there were people standing on the the Czech flag hanging from the ceiling. The concert bridge taking photos. Seb Lomas’ ties always seem to went well and the house was full again. draw a crowd. Returning from Slaney we dropped in to the local On the Monday, after a bit of a lie in, we went on a brewery for a tour. At the end some tried the beer short trip to the nearby town of Slaney. We then which was (apparently) delicious. In the evening we looked around a local school, the Clerkes sang to them went to a restaurant nearby, and had a traditional and then they sang to us ‘We wish you a merry Czech meal of dumplings and a beef stew – Christmas’. They also provided nice elevenses. surprisingly nice. After that we went to the local theatre, to rehearse for An enjoyable spring break in Prague – the first visit our concert in the afternoon. The theatre technician for nearly all of us – and it was thrilling to perform to there did not look like he had washed in two weeks, packed houses with such great atmosphere.

THE RADLEY CHORISTERS Think back to your first week at Radley, and one of of course, recruit 12 year olds who can already sing – the most vivid memories is probably the choir if they can do that, they are already in a choir. So to audition. Every Shell boy has his fifteen seconds of start with, the boys didn’t make much noise. We fame in front of the Precentor, Succentor and solved this by the temporary measure of asking four Chaplain, during which a variety of odd, squeaky girls from St Helen’s to join us – which they have noises emerge. Armed with reports from the prep done with style. But over the two and a half years schools, the Precentor is expecting at least two dozen since, the numbers have grown (now nineteen), the expert treble voices – ‘Freddie was head chorister boys have grown up, and we are starting to reap the during his last year, attempting difficult solos in benefits. By September we will have a fully mature Stanford in G and The Wilderness’... ‘Charles is an group, who have been trained by us from scratch, excellent leader of the second treble part.’ And what ranging in age from seven to thirteen. emerges? A series of adolescent grunts – the voice has These boys have become a part of the Radley furniture crashed and burned over the summer holiday. very quickly. They wear a uniform – a Radley This wasn’t always the case – going back thirty years sweatshirt – and, of course, they eat in Hall on or so, many boys were able to sing treble throughout Thursdays and Fridays: much to the inconvenience of the Shells and, indeed, in some cases well into the older boys, I appreciate, but they have only a limited Removes. And a tiny handful still could, anatomically, break before they are singing again, and they eat though they can’t always actually sing in tune, and slowly... Musically, they are excellent value, giving often don’t want to. These days, for reasons which are the Chapel choir a sound it has not had for many still much debated (too much food? hormones in the years; other schools are looking enviously at Radley’s water supply? exposure to ‘sexualising influences in choir for the first time. And they cost little – less in the media’?), boys’ voices are breaking much earlier total than the most junior don. than they used to. It’s been a long process – the choir Why do they do it? Certainly not because they are stalls at New College, Oxford, were reduced in height forced to. In fact, we turn down applicants regularly – three times during the twentieth century, as the far more boys apply than we can take. They may, average age of the trebles there plummeted. indeed, wander round singing Latin songs, but not It was obvious, therefore, several years ago that because they are made to – because they enjoy it. You, relying on Shells to provide the treble line was never the reader, might not be able to think of anything going to result in a decent choir. So the idea was worse than spending five hours of your week singing formed to have a separate, younger group of boys to in choir rehearsals and Chapel services, but for them, form the treble line. We don’t, of course, have our it is as exciting as playing in a football team. own prep school, unlike Winchester, or (until the And what do they get in return? Pocket money – 1980s, when it closed) Eton. Nor do we have girls. But which gets better as they get older, but doesn’t make there are cathedral choirs in the same position, them rich. Free music lessons – we pay for their recruiting their trebles from the local schools, and instrumental lessons. Access to College facilities – indeed it was from the director of music at Blackburn swimming pool, golf course, &c. But mostly, a first- cathedral, an OR called Richard Tanner, that we rate musical experience; expect to see several of them gained most useful advice. come to Radley as music scholars in the future. And, So early in 2004 we put out our adverts, and by the of course, a chance to be part of Radley, an honour of summer of that year we had our first boys. You can’t, which we are all, perhaps, insufficiently aware.

7 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE SENIOR PREFECT’S ENVIRONMENTAL WORKSHOP (SPEW) We couldn’t get hold of the new Radley Environmental Council’s minutes at the time of going to press, but its better- known older brother, the Senior Prefect’s Environmental Workshop (SPEW) has not been idle in the meantime: we print the latest minutes below for interest. 9PM, FRIDAY 27 APRIL, GROUNDSMAN’S that, interestingly, most socials don’t seem to sing any better with the lights on anyway. Present: Senior Prefect, Second Prefect, reps from A, B, D, F, G, H, I, & J Socials, Orchard House, CRB, 7. The Senior Prefect was heartened to see the Sub- PMF and RPLB Warden cycling around campus although one rep studying Chemistry wondered whether AER realised 1. Electricity meters are to be installed in all boys’ that his apricot-coloured cords use carcinogenic dyes rooms from September but the Bursar reassured the made from protected rainforest flowers? reps that they would not be the coin-operated type; the ‘juice’ was free on the bill. Consequently the general 8. Segways are to be issued to all rowing coaches to corridor sockets around College would be fitted with a eliminate emissions from commutes to the boathouse. lock, and anyone found charging their laptop/iPod 9. The ‘Save water: Shower with a Friend’ Campaign from the essential toaster/sandwich-maker slots in is launched in Orchard this term, although the Orchard social kitches would be put on Recycling Fatigues. rep asked if acquaintances will do if friends are I Social has maintained its lead in the Campaign to difficult to find. Baths are still verboten in A Social, Husband Electricity And Power (CHEAP) by having but an exception is made for cases of dual occupancy. rolling blackouts during the day – extreme measures At this point there was discussion of the possibility of but ‘the planet is melting fast,’ as the I Social rep going co-educational. pointed out. Initial grumbles about cold showers and 10. There was an unfortunate (and expensive) alarm-clock resetting problems have subsided, and the misunderstanding when all the headphones in the College webmaster, Ray Buzzton, assured the Theatre were collected and recycled as part of the cans Workshop that the wireless network is unaffected. drive. The overzealous C Social Shell responsible is

2. CO2 emissions. All boys wanting to travel to Oxford paying for the replacements in instalments out of his must now, when getting a chit, present valid carbon pocket money. vouchers to offset emissions from the no. 35 bus. In 11. The meeting commended the extraordinarily addition, for every thousand tonnes of carbon offset, efficient recycling of cans in I Social: 8 boxes full College has agreed to plant a shrub. The A Social rep were recovered last week. Rumours that the Tutor had wondered where the shrubs would be sited, and after been encouraging his boys to buy more fizzy drinks in discussion the consensus was that the Shrubbery might order to win the recycling competition had been firmly be appropriate. squashed, along with the cans. 3. 24 trees have been felled outside Orchard to make 12. It was noticed that the College’s fruit comes from room for the ongoing I and J Social extensions and as far away as Jamaica (bananas), Chile (grapes), sent to an Organic sawmill making recyclable Spain (strawberries), Afghanistan (kiwis), Israel furniture. Thanks to the Bursar for organising this. (oranges), Scotland (turnips), etc – so we are 4. CRB thanked Shop for their continuing efforts to go cancelling vegetable and fruit orders and growing green. The Chicken Rolls are now biodegradable; the them all ourselves: Kishon Grid is being turned into a cold drinks cans are now kept cool by fans rather than vegetable patch, and the lowest Midget teams will now energy-sapping refrigerators – tuppence a can has been be weeding and hoeing during weekday games time added to the price to reflect this small but significant rather than playing sport; the reps thought that this electricity cost. It’s all in a good cause, and boys were probably wouldn’t make much difference to their thanked for their support with these initiatives. match performances. 5. The Workshop unanimously delegated the F Social 13. It was strongly felt in the Workshop that the rep to ask the Succentor to play the organ more quietly Chronicle should play its part in the great recycling in Chapel from now on, to save electricity, and to turn effort: all copies will, in future, be delivered straight the machine off between hymns. Perhaps he could also into the recycling bins in socials, and if anyone wants look into whether the electric blower providing the air to read them they can take them out again. This should pressure could be replaced by six Shells on the minimise waste and simplify things enormously. bellows, as 100 years ago? 14. Picking up on a suggestion from the PHMs, from 6. The Bursar reported that trials of switching the September boys travelling to and from overseas lamps off in the Chapel gallery have gone well, and destinations are to be strongly encouraged to travel by sea. The bus to Heathrow laid on at the end of term 8 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 will be swapped for coaches to Portsmouth and Dover note in pencil explaining which subject and don it was where ferries can be boarded. Some boys from Hong for, to avoid confusion. Kong have complained that they will be spending 9 At the end of the meeting, the Senior Prefect days at sea for each leg of the journey, and it hardly relinquished his iron grip on the Workshop to makes Leave Away worthwhile, but otherwise there concentrate on his A levels; all present thanked him has been an enthusiastic take-up, particularly from and wished him well with his Environmental Studies those living in Jersey. course at Cambridge. He, in turn, thanked CRB, PMF 15. The Prep recycling bins are up and running well – and everyone on SPEW for the important work they boys should place used prep in the blue bins with a do in providing inspiring and impractical ideas to make College a greener and more amusing place.

A MESSAGE FROM THE PRIME MINISTER

The Rt Hon Tony Blair MP 10 Downing Street Prime Minister London

To the Radley College Chronicle,

Many congratulations on your second anniversary. I’m celebrating an important one myself, so I know what it’s like! It’s people like you that help make what Britain is today. A Britain of vision, of people, together, in society, making a fairer way forwards, not backwards like under the last Government, so that our children – and our children’s children – can. I can’t say I’m particularly fond of journalists myself, but they have a vital role to play in this country of ours, and especially in a close-knit community like Radley College: to cover the events; the ups, the downs; to hold your leaders to account in a healthy democratic way; but also to understand the pressures on the straight kind of guys who have to take tough decisions every minute of every day, as I’m sure you’ll appreciate! You have touched the hearts of literally tens of people across your school in a very real sense; you truly are the people’s paper. A paper for the community – all sections of it, not just the musicians, or the sportsmen, or those who like to poke fun at the management. Hey, speaking of management, why not cut them a bit of slack – I know how hard it is to manage, and I’ve taken a lot of flack in my time too. Perhaps if you had your time again you would have been even more radical. And had the scars on your back page to prove it. Cherie and I send best wishes for the next two years and beyond in your journey. The Chronicle has stood the test of time, but now it is right to look forwards. Straight ahead – not left or right, but the third way. New Chronicle. New Britain. New Radley. A Radley of trees and birds and lakes and prep. Where everyone is free to go to lessons whenever they like, and choose from a wide range of crisps in Shop. And that’s an achievement you can be proud of. In the words of your Warden, a tremendous achievement, please, but do keep off the grass. Now, that’s quite a challenge. But that’s what the future’s for. (Will that do?) Warmest wishes, Tony Blair

9 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE HARD SCIENCE Mother Nature is extraordinary. She used three billion clock lower grades at Physics or Chemistry than at any years of evolution to endow homo sapiens with the other A Level subject of their choosing. smartest mind in the known universe, and then added a Note carefully, I said ‘the average candidate’ because streak of idleness that means that we would prefer not it turns out that the ‘smart candidate’ will almost to think unless it is absolutely necessary. certainly do better at these subjects, for the very reason Thus it is that people run their lives on ‘hunches’, that they do understand the questions and they can do ‘suspicions’ and ‘gut feelings’. Herein lies the success the maths and, well, it isn’t very hard really and, of slimming pills and conspiracy theorists. Even when honestly, you can scream through prep in 20 mins flat the Truth is Out There the vast majority of people and then play football. Smart people do Science would rather sit in by the fire and read a good novel. precisely because it isn’t that hard to them. Indeed, They might even write a brief review of the book – an smart scientists are often extraordinarily lazy: Einstein opinion – a critique, if you will. Something for the is a good example; Tim Berners-Lee (who invented Arts programme. the World Wide Web) is another; I could go on (but I’m not sure I can be bothered). Now there are those who will tell you that the Arts are simply Sciences waiting to happen. That all subjects OK. So let me summarise our findings so far: most move from the Arts to the Science if only you are people find science hard. prepared to hang around long enough. Indeed a There, that wasn’t too painful. significant number of subjects have travelled this road already: Biology has moved from Nature drawing to So, for the many, many people out there who think metabolic pathways; Geography has moved from that weight and mass are pretty much the same thing coloured maps to Geomorphology; even something as and that Ohm’s law is really, really hard – well, Global unlikely as Cooking has transformed itself first into Warming is going to be a tough one. Food Science and, more recently, into Molecular Because Global Warming has LOTS of variables. Just Gastronomy – which isn’t quite full-blown Chemistry, tons of them. Honestly. but does at least allow you to use a Bunsen burner when making crème brulée and liquid nitrogen to chill And so, given the choice of either: reading a hefty that sorbet. academic tome – signed off by some 2000 leading scientists, and endorsed by the UN – or watching a In practice, almost any area of academic endeavour Channel 4 exposé and then chatting to a mate at the can subject itself to the Scientific Method if its pub, you can be pretty damn certain that the average protagonists are prepared to work hard enough; an art citizen will plump for option two and then head home is just a science with too many unknowns. Thus it is in a gas-guzzling SUV whilst muttering about the that one of the most successful History books of recent curious nature of hosepipe bans. times – Guns, Germs and Steel – was written by Jared Diamond, whose Cambridge-based PhD is rooted in Which would be fine by me were it not for the curious membrane biophysics. nature of democracy. ‘Curious’ because no-one seriously thinks that we should take popular opinion But most people don’t enjoy juggling such a plethora into account when it comes to doing sums; no-one of variables, because Science is punches numbers into their hard. Particularly if you are ‘Science is hard. Particularly calculator and then argues about stupid. Anyone can hold a view the result. But those same people on Shakespeare, however ill- if you are stupid.’ who shrink at the thought of data judged or ill-informed. But it’s analysis will happily offer their rather harder to calculate the residual stress in view on Global Warming – and expect me to care polymer-bonded carbon fibre, because it isn’t obvious about their opinion. how to construct the question – let alone answer it. Amazing. Quite amazing. And we know that Science is hard because some kind academics at Durham University have proved as And don’t even get me started on organic foods. much. They’ve shown that the average candidate will

10 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH Al Gore is likely to be remembered as the man who plunging the world into the next ice age. It is a theory ‘used to be the next President of the United States of that most of us should be familiar with. He talks also America’. It is a fact that he freely admits himself but about how the melting of the ice, which previously An Inconvenient Truth may help to cement his acted as a giant mirror, reflecting 90% of the rays reputation as an environmentalist as well. His which hit it back into space, will cause even more campaigning over the years, including his 1992 book absorption of energy from the sun and therefore even Earth in the Balance, has been honourable and more warming and ice melting. consistent but, until now, low profile. One of the arguments against the conventional global The film takes the format of a lecture by Gore, warming theory is that the Earth is so big that humans punctuated by short clips of his travels around the cannot possibly have an effect on it. Gore challenges world and various dramatic, yet all too familiar, clips this theory starting by talking about the relative of ice shelves collapsing, flooding etc. He bases most thinness of the atmosphere compared to the globe, of his arguments on data ranging from periods of 50 comparable to a ‘layer of varnish on a wooden sphere’. years to periods of 650,000 years, varying from levels He moves on to talk about the rapid increase of man’s of CO2 in the atmosphere, to global temperatures and power as a force of nature. He talks about this in terms animal breeding cycles. Much of his data on CO2 of man’s increasing population and improved levels and global temperatures was obtained from technology. The world’s population, which took until drilling into ice and analysing the early-to-mid 20th Century gas samples from air bubbles. to reach two billion, has reached over six billion in the The arguments presented by space of a couple of the film, though entirely generations. Moreover, plausible and seemingly technological advances in accurate, are far from original industry and agriculture have and have been presented increased our capacity to many times before. However, manipulate the environment. Gore aims to bring all of the evidence together, evidence The comparison between which he claims to be global warming and the accepted by an overwhelming dangers of tobacco runs majority of scientists, even if throughout the film. Gore talks they disagree with his about the fact that people were dramatic conclusions. It warned about the dangers of seems, however, that Gore’s tobacco, but did not heed the conclusions are correct; the warnings. His own father grew lectures show some tobacco until the tragic death spectacular graphs showing CO2 levels compared with of Al’s sister from lung cancer. He says that perhaps global temperatures, which undeniably show that the the world needs a similar kick up the backside. He also amount of CO2 in the atmosphere has shot up talks about the tobacco industry’s attempts to dramatically in the last 50 years and moreover, there it understate the risks of tobacco, and marginalise those has a correlation between levels of CO2 and global who publicised them. This, again, has an alarming temperature. Over the next 50 years, the only way to parallel in the debate about global warming. An describe the increase is disastrous. Gore actually has to internal memo from ‘a relatively small group of be raised by a crane to the point on the graph where people’, who deliberately distort the perception of the we will be in the near future. When presented with impacts of global warming, states that their aim is to such frightening data, we wonder how anyone can ‘reposition global warming as theory rather than fact’. deny the scale of the problem. It seems to be a It is a statement that leaves a somewhat bitter taste in scientific fact that increased CO2 leads to increases the mouth. greenhouse effect and therefore increased heating. This film is a great piece of documentary making and Gore goes further than many on the effects of heating, the critics and the award judges have recognised this. talking about the effects in the past of ice melting; However, I could not help but feel that the arguments when a glacier the size of Greenland melted thousands were recycled and could not be described as of years ago, it shut off all the ocean currents, groundbreaking.

11 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE B SOCIAL PLAY & CULTURAL EVENING THE THEATRE, SATURDAY 10 MARCH 7:20pm. Ten minutes before curtain up, parents and The play revolves around two themes: the bullying of general well-wishers in foyer being liquored up by Daisy and her search for the Beaumont treasure. It is RMCG and CWH, EVH and LKR busy backstage just as Trixie was explaining the tale of the long-lost applying make-up in order to have the cast looking as treasure to Daisy when they were interrupted by a feminine as was possible given the rugby-driven major source of this bullying, Monica Smithers (Will nature of B Social, LB talking characterisation with Baker) the ‘school toady and chief crony of Sybil the cast (it’s never too late for a Social Play), MB Burlington’. Baker was a comical figure and his plotting lights, and the director, onstage, frantically somewhat unbelievable speech impediment – even blocking scenes never blocked before with the without the live action doughnut stuffing – provided protagonists. Those not involved will see this as much entertainment. Monica, though, is merely the disorganisation; those who are will see it as sidekick of the chief architect of Daisy’s discomfort, economical use of every last second. Sybil Burlington (director George Lines) who introduces herself as the ‘conceited, beautiful, only Finally, 7:30 arrived and the curtain went back, the daughter of very wealthy parents’. And so these lights came up and ‘B’s thespians were revealed- all themes were explored in a series of truly memorable clad in short school skirts, wigs and make-up. Waves moments including Daisy, Trixie, Sybil, Monica, of audience giggles emerged as Belinda (Jonathan Quicke) and their eyes scanned the wholly un- extra Archie Vey singing one of the feminine creatures onstage before two school songs heard in them: Archie Vey with knees particularly amusing falsetto (Five unfortunately far apart, Will Hundred Faces, adapted especially Symington with legs so hairy so as on this occasion from the Harrow to make a buffalo blush and then School Song Book). Sybil hatches a Sholto Brotherton-Ratcliffe. Once dastardly plan to make it seem as the hubbub of chortles died down, though Daisy cheated in a test and Miss Gibson (George Letts, 3ft 2, uses this as blackmail to get Daisy and a more believable woman), in expelled, but the heroine shows search of power, stood atop a immense pluck and stands up for suitcase and began to sermonise the honesty and fair play at whatever audience, cheerfully welcoming the cost. them to Grangewood school for Girls and introducing them to the Meanwhile, the school hockey ‘play within a play’: Daisy Pulls It team, lead by Clare and Alice, Off. Cue Daisy (Hugo Walker): guide the school to the final of the bubbly; keen; ‘straight in all county championships yet more things’; and (frown) an elementary and more of the team fall foul of school pupil. Having filled in the injury leaving them with no choice details of how she was awarded a scholarship to but to select the disgraced Daisy as they prepare to Grangewood, she boards a train. This was well staged take on the ‘leviathans’ that are Abingdon Young with the entire cast bobbing up and down on their Ladies’ College. George Carter was dragged away benches to give the impression of a moving train from admiring his femininity in the mirrors backstage including Brotherton-Ratcliffe standing upstage of the and thrust into the hockey team for the big game. In sitting others, holding a mimed handle, oscillating his gripping Bigside fashion Grangewood came back from hips. Very funny. We were soon introduced to the 2-0 down to win the match, with ripping goals by ‘shining example of true British girlhood’ Clare Daisy. Staggering back to school, having just rescued Beaumont (Freddie Lyon), who overcame her battle Sybil and Monica from certain death, a section of the for stability in high heels and was often accompanied play that came off better than was expected, due to the by Alice (Will Symington), a sturdy Glaswegian lass lack of success in rehearsals, she is caught by Miss whose Braveheart-esque antics drew roars of laughter Gibson, who prepares to expel her the next morning. from the audience, especially at the curse of ‘Angus, As Daisy wanders the corridors alone that night, she Douglas and McPhail!’ Will Eden presented himself stops at the glowing portrait of Sir Digby Beaumont, particularly well as Daisy’s vivacious companion, and discovers the treasure before fainting, somewhat ‘madcap and poet of the Upper Fourth’ Trixie Martin, comically into Mr. Thompson (Alex Sants). Sybil injecting energy and enthusiasm into the dialogue. confesses in the last assembly to all of the things that she has done in her attempts to get Daisy expelled. 12 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 However, to ensure that there is a happy ending, Daisy RMCG thanked the cast and crew from B Social as intervenes and saves Sybil. The first half of the well as Ben Sheen and Archie Manners from C Social evening concluded with the Grangewood School Song, who had helped enormously on the technical side. a new version of Jerusalem, although sounding more MPH and his dedicated team spent three hours behind like a rugby crowd than a schoolgirl one. their cameras at the back, and the DVD is out in all The second half began with the Brass Ensemble good— well, available from Electronics, as usual. directed by Mr Mosedale (how many socials have a The publicity rather cheekily wrote it in advance, so Brass Ensemble?) playing some Purcell and Brahms. what else can we say but it was an absolutely scrummy The Shells performed (sang is too strong a word) evening’s entertainment. Bohemian Rhapsody, featuring George Letts on air guitar – no, really, it was inflateable. Mr Adams took responsibility for that one but it was very entertaining, SMAC MINUTES and the Shells seemed to be enjoying themselves just SHOP, MONDAY 19 FEBRUARY as much as the audience. The much-loved sketch, the Present: Mr Davies, Mrs Davies, CRB, the Second Four Yorkshiremen was reprised with Rob Downs Prefect, reps from A – G Socials providing an authentic accent in the classic banter over a glass of Chateau de Chassillier won by the Apologies from the Senior Prefect were received. unfortunate chap who spent his childhood working 28 1. Minutes of the last meeting were read and agreed. hours a day at t’mill. 2. Matters arising: Chicken rolls. These are no longer The Partsong group sang Down in the River to Pray produced in boxes. Requests were made for more sensitively with good solos from Jonathans Lam and chicken rolls but only a limited number can be Quicke. There followed a solo performance of Damien prepared in the time. Rice’s Older Chests by Douggie McMeekin, and an unscheduled interruption from B Socialite Adrian Rubbish: Rubbish outside Shop had been better but Pascu returning to deliver the well-known Alan larger bins would help. There was still too much debris Bennett extract A Delinquent Pensioner – or, rather, as left in Shop. Boys should take responsibility for their it turned out, a frighteningly accurate parody of a own detritus. Bennett monologue that he had recently written for a Magazines: Certain Socials are still not collecting their Cambridge Footlights Revue. Seven Vths had magazines. CRB will e-mail Tutors concerned and unilaterally decided to put on an extract from Social reps will also take action. In some cases the Blackadder series four – the first half of the episode PHM picks up the magazines on her way back from Private Plane. It was well staged with a lot of collecting mail in the bursary. attention to detail on the costumes and sound effects. It was especially good to see some on stage who had 3. Bacon rolls: These are no longer on offer because never acted before. Great jokes like Melchett’s ‘God, they were not all sold and therefore there was some it’s a barren featureless desert out there!’ – looking at waste. They also take time to prepare. the wrong side of the map – elicited much laughter 4. Brannigans. More will be provided as will plain from the audience. Kettle crisps. Mrs Davies produced some interesting It has become traditional for the most outrageous item statistics. On sale in Shop there are now 18 lines of in the programme to be disguised as a solo song or crisps, 93 lines of sweets & 16 lines of drinks. instrumental piece. Last year poor Will Eden had to 5. Drinks. Coke Zero to go. Discos to go. D and Bs to pretend his trumpet solo broke down before YMCA go. Fanta Twist will be on sale at the counter as well intervened, and this year it was the turn of angelic as in the machine. chorister James Laing, dressed in red cassock and even 6. Smoothies. These are impractical. However, CRB taking the trouble to tune his voice to the piano before reminded the SMAC members that there will be a starting. Thankfully, after tormenting the audience Smoothie tasting at the next meeting in Hall. with some strangled notes the beats started, the lights cut out, and the dance began to a Vengaboys track. Ex- 7. Members were pleased to hear that no more fruit gymnast Jos North showed off some energetic cookies will be available. manoeuvres and the choreography was excellent. Then 8. Hairdressers. These are being cut down to one a Alex Sants, runner up in the Declamations this year, week. Boys should sign up in the outfitter’s side of entertained us with The Moose by Woody Allen. Shop to guarantee a cut. The evening was then closed with the VI.2 song and On behalf of the boys CRB thanked those who work in the Social Shout, California Dreamin’. In summing up Shop.

13 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE BIG BROTHER’S ROAD PRICING Imagine a government that takes a vast amount of The Stop Road Pricing campaign are missing an money, far more than that needed to pay for the roads opportunity to witness the elimination one of the last you are travelling on; a government who would do this vestiges of Whitehall centralization we have fought so simply because they can, pouring the huge sums hard to escape from since Thatcher started the ball collected into their considerable sump of general rolling in the eighties: almost everything else now revenue to be spent on a wide variety of politically involves an element of market forces and competition, motivated non-road-related schemes. Imagine also a so why not road use? The technology exists for us to government that has developed the means to track realize a market, similar perhaps to other utilities like exactly where your vehicle travels, knowing exactly water or gas where, under the watch of a regulator, where it has been parked and even has a computerised private companies might compete to provide properly system which fines you automatically for going too managed and maintained, congestion-free roads and fast in the wrong places. This sounds like the where drivers would enjoy genuine choices about Orwellian horror the road pricing sceptics would have when they could travel either without charges or us believe is coming if we do not sign the petition without congestion. circulated recently and posted on the Downing Street Queues, whether on the roads or in the shops are a sure petitions website. sign that the market has not found its equilibrium: Think again. What the above actually describes is a haunting images of Soviet bread queues spring to picture of British motoring today, not tomorrow: the mind. The introduction of market forces and government forces us to pay a considerable fixed sum competition in the allocation of road space is the only each year simply for the privilege of rolling our car way to make sure that certain populace areas of the onto any national highway no matter where this might country do not grind towards a halting gridlock in the be, then indiscriminately taxes all motorists by more next decade or two; and it is the only way to stop than doubling the price of their petrol and requiring all persecuting those in other parts of the country who are cars to bear a license plate so it can use a network of currently punished by the unfair and unavoidable taxes cameras and police spies to monitor how we use the on their travel. roads. Sadly, there’s nothing especially new about any The problem of Big Brother remains, but it is already of this. with us I fear, either through national postcode But what if modern technology could provide a system databases, the mobile telephone system or the which could deliver the money necessary to cover the computerization of medical records. The other costs of running the roads by taking only from those problem is that the prototype road pricing scheme in who insist on using the most London, the Congestion Charge, congested roads at the most has already been claimed as a congested times; only from those personal success for Ken who valued their time or the Livingstone, the bete noir of the importance of their journeys as the free marketers, who has lauded it highest; or from those whose as a victory for socialist state contribution to the economy was planning. Allowing local city so considerable (or deemed so councils free rein to set flat important) that they might enjoy charges for entry to their the luxury of being able to go designated zones, without any where they want when they account taken of time of day or want… as long as they, or their distance driven, in order to raise employer, pay. Of what benefit money for poorly thought out would that be to the average traffic calming or bus lane schemes humble road user? Well, how – or worse – would be a worrying about the scrapping of petrol duty development, but a genuinely and of the vehicle excise tax disc market-based road pricing scheme for starters. This would which helps motorists realize the significantly reduce the cost of true cost of their motoring, motoring for all but the few and whether that be more or less than would ensure that the cost of road use, so much higher they pay now, must be seen as a victory against when roads are busy, falls on those who generate these Soviet-style central planning. costs: road repairs, accident clear up, policing, AJM pollution and all the time lost through congestion.

14 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 STEEPLECHASE 2007 A RELUCTANT RUNNER REPORTS I had been training for weeks. Every day I sat in my Now, round the back of Groundsmans’ to do most of room exercising my brain and limbering up the the circuit again. Halfway! Elation swelled up inside excuses: how could I possibly get out of the me only to be checkmated by the stitch that still Steeplechase? A fake bout of ‘flu? Or an stabbed at my side. I doubled over, and sat down incapacitating but vaguely located muscle strain? gasping. Sadly neither my courage nor acting skills were up to Sweat mixed with rain stung my eyes as I clambered the plan and I stood on the starting line at 3.10pm – to my feet and continued running, hand clamped to my incurring the wrath of AJAW’s megaphone for side. Down the hill again and up the other side, and standing on the line rather than behind it – shivering my legs burned with a build-up of lactic acid (the only with cold and watching pathetic flakes of snow drift Biology I could recall at that moment in time). Luckily down from the sky. Every few seconds the odd we didn’t need to run a complete route, and so I came thought of all the better things I could be doing floated to the ditch, just as I imagine No Man’s Land in a First through my mind. My body protested and attempted to World War front. I jumped, my feet landing with a shut down several times as if controlled remotely from resounding squelch in the mud on the opposite side. I IT Tech. I wasn’t enjoying this and it hadn’t even swung my arms wildly trying to balance and tip started yet. I groaned and shook my legs like I’d seen forward. This failed and the next thing I felt was my real runners do before a marathon, lapsing into dreams rear end plummet into icy water, my hands plunging of warmth and prep and lovely more worthwhile down through deep into the silt lying on the bottom. things to do like that. Indoors. In the warm. Struggling up and out, earning shouts of laughter from Bang! The gunshot cut through my daydreams jolting those passing, I carried on running, now freezing and my legs into action, but after five seconds I had been shivering. My only thought now was the shower that left in the walking section. My thoughts turned to would be waiting for me after I finished. fatalities occurring during compulsory sadistic The last stretch. People in front of me and people schoolboy runs. How many had there been, over the behind me; my heart beating, my legs caked in mud, years, I wondered? And all for what? I sprinted for a and my arms too. I breathe heavily and sprint. Arms while – everything’s worth trying pumping, legs reaching forward, once – and as we passed B Social vision narrowing slightly as I take lazy opportunists tried to cut pass short sharp breaths. One…two…three the vigilant MKTH on the corner. people passed. A fourth watches me They were scolded. We slackers at pass and fails to sprint to hold his the back came to the lake with an position. Burning in my legs but no optimistic lope but soon the toll of point in stopping now. A fifth sees or several hundred metres kicked in. hears me coming – I am not quite sure My stitch woke up from hibernation which – and sprints. Now it’s a race, at this point, viciously hammering but this effort really has pushed me into my side. The sight of the hill up over the line. I can’t do it. The runner next to me feels Cheesers ended any idea of a jaunty stroll around the same strain, glances at me. And during that tiny Oxfordshire. lapse of concentration he’s down. He trips on On we trudged, and veered right, slipping on the slick something and just disappears. I enjoy a flicker of grass. An indeterminate blond Remove slipped and schadenfreude amidst the pain then go through the landed with a squelch in a pit of mud with the tape tunnel and take the last ticket from the don consistency of school custard. He stuck out now like a standing there. Yes! I’m finally into the rankings – an muddy thumb. I started a breathing rhythm just like all-time best. Now, the collapse. my coach had told me at prep school. I passed people Walking back into Social with thighs on fire the but kept on running, with no interest in names or even shower beckons. Dry leg mud flakes off. I wrap a the several who kindly tried to trip me up. Crossing a towel around my shivering body, now purged of all ditch with a distant bank churned up by hundreds of fat, I trot to the showers and turn the handle. The hot feet already, I passed another don urgently cheering on water always takes a while to get through, but fifteen his social’s boys. Running along the golf course, one minutes later there’s still nothing. Hope disintegrates or two slackers seized their chance to slip into the golf into despair when none of the nearby showers produce hut at the side and give themselves a breather, no any hot water either. Finally giving up, I dive in doubt for longer than they should. anyway and set a second record today – shortest and coldest shower ever. 15 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

] CONFOUND THEIR POLITICS THE FRENCH PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 2007 Le 22 avril 2007 marquait le premier tour des élections April 22 2007 marked the first round of the présidentielles en France. Depuis quelques mois déjà, presidential elections in France. For several months les sondages avaient donné comme favoris Nicolas already the polls had given the favourite as Nicolas Sarkozy, Ségolène Royal et François Bayrou, Sarkozy, then Ségolène Royal and Francois Bayrou – respectivement de droite, de gauche et… du milieu. respectively from the right, the left and the centre. Bel éventail de choix pour des français indécis. En Quite the range of choice for the undecided French effet, les sondages prouvent que 11% des votants se people! In fact, the polls proved that 11% of the sont décidés le jour même des élections ! Malgré cette voters decided on the very day of the elections! hésitation, le taux d’abstentionnisme n’a jamais été Despite this hesitation, the rate of abstention has never aussi bas. Il faut croire que les élections de 2002, à been so low. It’s necessary to think back to the savoir l’élection de Jean-Marie Le Pen (leader du election of 2002: the success of Jean Marie Le Pen Front National) au premier tour des présidentielles ont (leader of the ultra-right Front National party) in the réveillé chez certains une soudaine conscience sociale. first round of the presidential elections aroused a sudden social conscience in many people. C’est donc sans grande surprise que les deux candidats élus pour le second tour sont Nicolas Sarkozy avec It’s thus without great surprise that the two candidates 30% des voix, et Ségolène Royal, qui se qualifie avec chosen for the second round are M Sarkozy with 30% le score tout à fait honorable de 25% ! Quant à of the votes and Mme Royal with a perfectly François Bayrou, il est bel et bien « le troisième honourable score of 25%. As regards Francois Bayrou, homme », et remporte 18% des voix. Lui qui a essayé he is well and truly ‘the third man’, as the press would d’établir une union certes un peu utopique mais say, and won 18% of the votes. The man who néanmoins plausible des deux courants politique, se attempted a union – certainly a bit utopian but voit contraint de laisser la place au traditionnel nonetheless plausible – of the two political positions affrontement droite/gauche. was forced to cede to a traditional left/right confrontation. Après l’annonce des résultats viennent les discours des vainqueurs (probablement l’un des meilleurs moments After the announcement of the results came the d’une campagne, et l’un des plus intéressants du point speeches of the winners (probably one of the best de vue de l’étude comportementale !) Sarkozy monte moments of a campaign and one of the most sur scène d’un pas décidé et salue énergiquement interesting from the perspective of studying l’assemblée tout en esquissant un sourire de digne behaviour). Sarkozy took to an unsettled stage and satisfaction. D’un geste vif de la main et d’une energetically greeted the assembly whilst giving a hint injonction brève et autoritaire, il met fin aux of a smile of dignified satisfaction. With a brisk move applaudissements. Il n’oublie pas de ponctuer son of his hand and a brief and forceful behest, he put an discours de pauses stratégiques et de mouvements de end to the applause. He did not forget to punctuate his bras dynamiques qui signifient « Je suis un homme speech with carefully planned pauses and dynamic d’action ! ». Impressionnant. movements of his arms which meant ‘I am a man of Une heure plus tard, c’est au tour de Ségolène. Toute action’. Impressive. de blanc vêtue, la démarche souple et légère, elle One hour later it was Ségolène’s turn. Dressed all in adresse à la foule en liesse un sourire digne et ouvre white she addressed the jubilant crowd with a ses bras, montrant sa reconnaissance. C’est avec un dignified smile and opened her arms wide, displaying regard sévère mais maternel qu’elle fait taire les her gratitude. It was with a severe but maternal look partisans trop enthousiastes. Puis elle commence son that she silenced the overly enthusiastic supporters. discours, les mains immobiles, la tête penchant Then she began her speech, with still hands, an harmonieusement à gauche ou à droite et une coupe de impeccable coiffure and her head always inclined to cheveux toujours impeccable ! the left or the right. On pourrait se demander si le métier de politicien You could ask yourself if the craft of a politician comprend une formation théâtrale – pensez aux involves training in acting – think about our own Tony discours de Tony Blair – mais alors à qui remettre Blair’s performances – and so who wins the Oscar? l’Oscar ? Nicolas Sarkozy pour son interprétation Nicolas Sarkozy for his poignant phrase ‘A broken and poignante dans « Une France brisée et humiliée » ? Ou humiliated France’? Or Ségolène Royal for her stirring bien Ségolène Royal pour son rôle émouvant dans line ‘A proud and noble France’? Drama or Romance? « Une France fière et noble » ? Drame ou romance ?

16 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 Que veulent les français? Ce qui est certain, c’est que What do the French people want? The latest polls le 6 mai, les Français devront avoir fait leur choix. Les suggest Nicolas Sarkozy will win the second round derniers sondages suggèrent que Nicolas Sarkozy with 54% of the vote; but the younger generations are gagnera le deuxième tour avec 54% des voix mais il more in favour of Ségolène Royal. France isn’t a semble que la population jeune soit plus en faveur de country known for taking much notice of the young, Ségolène Royal. Pourtant la France n’est pas un pays though. What is certain is that on May 6 the French connu pour écouter ses jeunes. Ce n’est pas évident, will have made their choice: not an easy one for them, mais d’une vue a travers de la Manche, après avoir but pretty clear sitting on this side of the Channel, « subi » les reformes de marché des années 80s, c’est having ‘suffered’ the necessary free-market reforms in plutôt clair. the 1980s. Si les perspectives pour la France semblent tellement If the outlook for France seems so bleak – according to sombres – selon Monsieur Sarkozy – puis, peut-être le M Sarkozy – then perhaps moving to Britain should be déménagement à l’Angleterre devrait être compris included as one of the options. dans les options ? Translated by ASA BENNETT (C) ARMELLE VÉDRINE A NIGHT AT THE OSCARS A D SOCIAL ENTERTAINMENT SATURDAY 24 FEBRUARY, THE THEATRE Rarely has such a high-risk strategy been outlined for effeminate performance as Sandy and was backed up an annual Social Cultural Evening, and as the big night by the aptly named ‘D Birds’. It was no small wonder approached with unnerving speed, there were an that this all-singing all-dancing production won the inevitable mix of nerves and apprehension behind the ‘Best Play Award’ later on in the evening. scenes. An Oscars night was the agenda with four The evening plunged into the realms of reality equally difficult plays being performed by the four television in the interval with the audience voting on a lower year groups, followed by a totally ad-libbed number of different awards; again this turned out to be Oscar presentation in the second half with both Dons unconventional yet effective. This led to guest Oscar and boys participating. The Shells started proceedings acceptance speeches from the likes of Jamie Hepburn with an extract from Oliver Twist, which was directed (Best Actor in a Female Role), Arthur Voelcker (Best and acted out by Oli Mann, a task not to be overlooked Actor) and Jamie Wynne-Griffith (Best Director) who as getting fifteen Shells to sing and dance coherently all took their chance to amuse, entertain and thrill. The together is not one which most VI.1s would envy. sub-tutors gave out the awards, each with their own Although some of it looked quite last-minute it came personal theme tune (Mr Murphy descending to the off well and the audience enjoyed it. deft tunes of Irish Rover), and there was even an The Removes are widely known as the award for ‘Best Dressed Couple’ from thespians in D Social and the Monty the audience which caught a certain Python sketch illustrated this and pair slightly off-guard! The evening really got the audience in a swash- ended with Grease winning the ‘Best buckling mood. Star performances Play’ for the VI.1s, by which time the came from Tom Milligan, Gus beaming smiles of BJH and NPH had Hatchard and Jamie Wynne-Griffith, never been broader. A special mention the director. must go to the omnipresent and dedicated director of the evening, Next up was a combination of Vths and VI.2s in a sketch from Fawlty Charlie Curran. The attention to detail and planning that went into such an Towers. Arthur Voelcker’s role as original production cannot be Basil, combined with Tom Whitehead as a hilarious and, by the end, slightly underestimated. DVDs of this extraordinary night’s entertainment body-beaten Manuel, was well are, of course, available from received. [email protected]. The final production of the first half was the 6.1’s rendition of Summer Nights from Grease which was a cataclysmic display which had the audience not only in stitches in points but also resulted with tumultuous applause at the end. Jamie Hepburn gave an 17 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE

C CLASSICAL SOCIETY: ‘MAD, BAD, & DANGEROUS TO LOVE’ DR BOB COWAN, FEBRUARY 6TH 2007, SLT I think that it would be fair to say that Dr Bob Cowan comment about a ‘game of two halves’. from Balliol College, Oxford does not exactly conform The mirrors, or parallels, in the text were between to the typical world view of a doctor of Classics: being Dido and Pallas and between Dido and Mezentius. The neither ageing, balding nor tweedy. However, his parallel between Dido and Pallas was represented by combination of flowing hair, a regional accent, and an both their interests in hearing Aeneas’s stories of Troy. obvious passion for the subject stood him in good This link is strengthened by Aeneas draping of a cloak, stead for a first, but hopefully not last, trip to the given to him by Dido, over Pallas’s dead body. Dido Radley Classics department. and Mezentius have in common a different Virgil’s Aeneid is indeed one of the great Latin texts philosophical outlook to that of Aeneas. Aeneas’ Stoic and, being both an A Level and GCSE set text, one ideals, a belief in a higher purpose and controlling familiar to most Radleian classicists. Dr Cowan’s gods, clash with the Epicurean views of Dido and lecture was therefore accessible to the vast majority of Mezentius, believing that life is random and the audience. It focused on three characters of the unaffected by deities. Dido even mocks Aeneas for his Aeneid: Dido, Pallas and Mezentius, all of whom were self-importance in thinking that the gods would devote wronged in some way by Aeneas. Dido was so much attention to him, while Mezentius actively abandoned in Carthage where she would then kill despises the gods. herself from grief; Pallas is entrusted to Aeneas in Dr Cowan was very sympathetic towards Aeneas and Italy, and Aeneas, as his mentor, fails him in believed he gets given a slightly raw deal by Virgil: neglecting to protect him from being slain by Turnus; Aeneas is presented as the villain when he quashes his Mezentius is killed by Aeneas in single combat at the emotions to leave Dido in Carthage, but also when he end of Book 10. lets his vengefulness get the better of him when he Dr Cowan placed much emphasis on the mirrors brutally kills Turnus. The lecture finished with Dr within the text and the bipartite nature of the poem. It Cowan admitting that ‘he had a bit of a soft spot’ for is divided into two the film Troy, describing clear sections: the first Brad Pitt as the right mix (books 1-6) deals with between a ‘pretty boy’ Aeneas’s journey from and a ‘hunky man’. sacked Troy to Italy; However, he did admit the second (books 7- that one would have to 12) talks of his troubles completely disregard all in Italy and his of one’s knowledge of founding of the city The Iliad to enjoy it. All which would in all it was a thoroughly eventually become enjoyable lecture, which Rome. He compared interpreted the Aeneid in the two halves to a new way. Homer’s Odyssey and Iliad respectively, quoting John Motson’s

18 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 DESERT ISLAND DONS NO. 3 – MR IAIN CAMPBELL A series of mini-interviews with musical members of Common Room where we imagine that they are marooned on a desert island. They are allowed to choose ten pieces of music and a book, luxury, etc (alongside, of course, the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare). IKC has taught Classics at Radley for nine years, not including a brief defection to Marlborough and is well-known for his esoteric taste in music and dedication to Iron Maiden. 1. Wimoweh – The Weavers directed some great musicals before she became a mum, and they don’t come cleverer than this. Brings This is a very early musical memory from my parents’ back more late-night memories, of slaving away in record collection – a fantastic American folk theatres! arrangement of the ancient Zulu song, live at Carnegie Hall in 1953. Check out Pete Seeger’s falsetto and the 9. In My Craft Or Sullen Art – Dylan Thomas, read by four part harmonies. Richard Burton A wonderful poem, and the most fantastic reading voice. 2. The Pilgrims’ Chorus from Tannhauser (Wagner) 10. Fantasia on a theme by Thomas Tallis – Vaughan An indirect parental influence, from my operatic hits Williams era when I was at school. Very moving, swelling to a great crescendo. Classical music is not my specialised subject – I’d love to explore it, but getting started now is almost too 3. Hallowed Be Thy Name, from the album Live After daunting. I was, however, put onto this by a cultured Death – Iron Maiden mate, and it’s my token starfish thrown into the sea – a I had to include one Maiden number – a very difficult swirling, moody, majestic piece. choice from about a dozen contenders. This is a real classic, from 1982, and it’s nice and long. It had to be the live version – probably the first bit of vinyl my Song if only allowed one: From The Morning brother bought. Luxury: Radio 4 Long Wave – Today, I’m Sorry I 4. Jesus Don’t Want Me For A Sunbeam – Nirvana. Haven’t A Clue, and Test Match Special. What more could I want? This is my token grunge-era track, a great cover from Nirvana’s Unplugged album. Smells Like Teen Spirit Book: The Norton Anthology of English Literature was too obvious. Could have been Need by Mudhoney Drink: Strong tea or Alive by Pearl Jam for that matter, or even Gigantic by Pixies. Film: The Remains of the Day – NJW has already had Spinal Tap, and this is a very good film of one of my 5. Shiny Happy People – REM favourite novels This isn’t actually one of my favourite tracks of all If you could have a phone call to one don who would time, or even one of my favourite REM tracks, but it is it be? Easy, my wife- she’s still a member of Common massively evocative of the excitement of leaving Room despite the maternity leave. school and starting my gap year, specifically at the world-famous Bryanston Greek Summer School. The If you could take a celebrity who would it be? Bruce future looked quite exciting then. Oh well. Dickinson (lead singer of Iron Maiden). It would be fascinating to talk over his career. Neil Young would 6. Mellow My Mind – Neil Young be too moody. Even more tricky than for Maiden. I’m a massive fan of Neil Young, and could justify only one track from over four decades of genius song-writing. This is a bit Please send in suggestions for dons you would like to alternative, and very, very raw, from the lows of 1973. see marooned on a desert island in future issues to Reminds me of late nights at College. [email protected]. 7. From The Morning – Nick Drake Another College-era one. Simple, moving, inspired. 8. And I Know Things Now (Little Red Riding Hood’s Song) from Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim My wife and I don’t share much music, but she 19 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE AN INTERVIEW WITH HHA ‘Wise, generous, kind, humorous and deceptively this since other schools haven’t been as popular as hard-working,’ said the last Warden but one, Dennis Radley. We have a waiting list of 6 or 7 years and Silk, about his last Sub Warden, Hamish Aird. Mr if you started to have girls in the Sixth Form, even Aird first arrived at Radley in 1966 and retired after 14 more so if you had them throughout the school, years as Sub Warden in 2003 with an evening Gaudy you’d be disappointing people who had sons’ and firework celebration. names down for however many years. So, from a practical point of view it’s different. From a more HHA witnessed Radley change dramatically over his philosophical point of view, I’m not absolutely 37 years here. When he first arrived at Radley, it was a certain if it works well at boarding schools. You very laid-back sort of place, he said: work wasn’t could argue that boarding is quite a strange thing to taken seriously. There were, of course, a few scholars do anyway and the popularity of the public schools at the top who’d go to Oxbridge. These few Radleians with boarding came out of the years when there were very well taught by a number of excellent dons was an empire and people had to board as including the Sub Warden, Paul Crowson. But the A education in the far-flung corners of the empire level results for 1968 were littered with Fs and Os – was rudimentary. It is a moot point whether single- quite a difference from our current results with 4As sex boarding is any worse than co-educational being common! The size of Radley itself has changed boarding. I suppose the continentals can’t too: Common Room then numbered around 40 and understand why we have either and why we don’t now it totals about 100. There are more boys in the just have day schools like they have.’ school as well: 440 then to 635 now. But the Matrons were always important – they were very influential in HHA added that it could still be possible for Radley to the socials. Tutors’ wives also would have a large part have its first female tutor, especially due to the to play in the social. increase in female members of Common Room over the recent years. In 1966, there were no female dons at HHA was appointed by Warden Milligan, who later all! said to a member of Common Room that he had just appointed ‘a very wild young man’. He came to HHA modestly attributed Radley’s success in the first Radley at first because Mr Money had invited him to half of his time here as being mostly due to Dennis dinner. AEM had also been a teacher at the Lancashire Silk (Warden 1968-1991), who raised Radley’s profile public school Rossall, HHA’s alma mater. This first on the map of top public schools. In one of the Sunday taste of Radley ended up with an energetic rackets newspapers, a poll was run titled ‘The Headmaster’s match in dinner jackets at 2am! Headmaster’ for which many public school headmasters were questioned about their favourite HHA thought that the most significant change that headmaster – and Dennis Silk came out on top. He happened during his time in Common Room was the was also the first Warden to insist that people (the introduction of the Children Act in 1989, the same dons) worked extremely hard; otherwise they would year that he became Sub Warden. The effect of the have to leave. He was also interested in Radleians Children Act on Radley was there were many more developing well-rounded personalities. He had lots of inspections and far more forms to be filled in – you interesting programmes: one year he decided that a could say it was the start of the now somewhat field should be planted with potatoes and the boys infamous ‘health and safety’ paperwork! Nonetheless should look after the potatoes. The next year it was a the introduction of the act was, in the long run, a Good field of strawberries, which was more popular and so Thing. A number of the procedures stipulated by the quite a lot of people took that on. By means of the Children Act were, however, already in operation at television programme Public School in 1979 Dennis Radley, a school that has always had a good pastoral Silk put Radley on the map and ensured that far more reputation. HHA attributed this reputation to the members of the general public knew about the school. geography of Radley and the quality of the Common Standards and academic results had increased steadily, Room and Matrons, in contrast to other schools; and his successors have continued the progress. Radley’s campus has no far-flung, isolated parts to it – a problem in some other non-campus schools like There are some excellent stories that Mr Aird tells Marlborough. about his time in social and as Sub-Warden, but he was very discreet in our interview. One little hint of On the subject of future changes for Radley, HHA still what things were like about 40 years ago was given by has ideas for how it’ll turn out. In response to the a passing mention of the school Greece trip, a very much-debated topic of making Radley co-educational, different affair from the one that has just occurred over HHA commented: the Easter holiday. There was no swift plane journey ‘Many schools have had no great problems with directly to Athens. In fact, the travel arrangements 20 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 were nothing but a few dons and Radleians packed and ORs. Fortunately, after a short break he came back into two cars, driving all the way across Europe (and to advise the Radley Foundation, and his office is on returning after a crash at Kalamata, the furthest point the top floor of Mansion. from home, in only one…). Oenophile – he contributed to the mammoth Oxford The epic Gaudy of 2003 with fireworks, music, Companion to Wine and is a keen patron of the speeches and picnics in the evening by the lake was an Mansion wine cellar – classicist, philosopher and Scot, unforgettable occasion, a tribute to the importance of Hamish Aird is an incredibly civilised character. If Mr Aird’s contribution to Radley and the great you get the opportunity to talk to him, don’t miss it. affection in which he is held by boys, dons, parents

‘THREE ALBUMS EVERY RADLEIAN SHOULD OWN’ A personal recommendation of some recent album releases THE MAINSTREAM OPTION: Patrick Wolf has just finished his UK tour in support of the astounding Arcade Fire and his fan base is ever Kaiser Chiefs – Yours Truly, Angry Mob growing. My suggestion, go online to With the ‘difficult’ second album, the Kaisers have www.radioblogclub.com or Myspace Music and have excelled themselves, recreating all the elements a listen to his brilliant music. present in ‘Employment’ and adding one that I felt Single to look out for: Accident and Emergency from they were missing – stand out singles. ‘Ruby’, the first The Magic Position released, went straight to No.1, no doubt heard and Best B-Side: Augustine sung-along to by many a Radleian, and others promise more, with Angry Mob, Heat Dies Down, and Thank You Very Much standing out. Why should Radleians ONE THAT MAY HAVE buy it? Well, for a start every song is catchy, for the SLIPPED UNDER THE RADAR: most part upbeat, and insightful lyrics. Combine this Sufjan Stevens – The Avalanche with teenager friendly tunes, with progressive melodies, and lyrics, which when not exposing chav Although having been around for a good while now, culture, mainly contain ‘na na na na’, or ‘ooooooo’, or Sufjan Stevens, a North American folk singer, has not even ‘eyyyyyyyy’ – perfect to sing along to whether in received the kind of acclaim he deserves. ‘The the gym, JCR, or even dare I say it in prep. One Avalanche’, a collection of songs which didn’t make it criticism of the album is its sameyness – they seem on to 2005’s Illinoise that was released last year, only to make one type of song, but boy can they do it combines folk with electronic to devastating effect. well... Normally these kinds of ‘overflow’ albums provide a Single to look out for: Heat Dies Down few gems and then the rest is decidedly average; not in the case of the Avalanche. Sufjan plays a host of Best B-Side: Admire You instruments on the album, notably banjo, guitar, piano

THE ALTERNATIVE: and strings; this is the ultimate prep music – subtle underlays with enough blandness to allow Patrick Wolf – The Magic Position concentration, yet with enough detail to stand up well Patrick Wolf, now aged 23, is one of the main to a focused listen. Sufjan is renowned for the great contributors of the new wave ‘Acid-Folk’ movement. number of tracks on his albums, although this does not Combining electronic beats and blips and more result in a slump towards the end of the album, if traditional folk music to great effect; Patrick Wolf’s anything it helps to develop album. The orchestral and first album Lycanthropy was dubbed ‘techno-folk’. instrumental tracks stand out in particular for their His third and latest album The Magic Position is a moving and upbeat nature. Sufjan Stevens continues to triumphant and upbeat album that distils all the best make a fresh contribution to the modern-folk and bits of his previous albums into something that chilled-out music genres: Radleians would do well to shimmers and feels just right. For me, being a follower check him out. of Patrick Wolf for some years, his new album is Single to look out for: Chicago something which I just have to tell people about and I Best B-Side: No Man’s Land (Dear Mr would strongly encourage Radleians to investigate his Supercomputer) music. Patrick rejects conventional mainstream My Favourite Albums: Michigan, The Avalanche and instruments – guitars, basses etc – and instead uses Seven Swans baritone ukeleles, foot-pumped organs, violins and violas, piano and clarinets coupled with his unique HENRY WOODWARD-FISHER (G) electronica to devastating effect.

21 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE THE BATTLE FOR THE RADLEY LAKES THE SAVE THE LAKES CAMPAIGN Council, Vale of the White Horse Council, The Council for the Protection of Rural England, several A murder was committed in Radley Village a few other local groups and three and a half thousand years ago, but other than that Radley has been a fairly people who objected by letter, planning permission to uneventful place. All that has changed recently is that fill the lake was recently granted to RWE NPower, the the area has become the focus of the national media as German company who own Didcot power station, by a tale of environmental destruction and corporate Oxford County Council. NPower have made much of greed has unfurled. their plans to create a nature reserve once the infill has Travel down Thrupp Lane and you will understand. been completed, but they do not refer to the lakes The area of land which lies between the river and the filled years ago which are now fenced off areas of bustling town of Abingdon is surprisingly rural and wasteland; the PFA has failed to solidify and create a unspoilt. There are farms, a deer park, beautiful lakes stable surface. Burnt-out cars and motorbikes lie and wonderful views to Nuneham Courtenay, although abandoned at the perimeters, adding to the air of marred by the power lines transporting our electricity desolation; wasteland attracts wanton behaviour. from Didcot Power Station. The generation of Local people are understandably outraged: ‘we all electricity comes at an environmental cost, we all being encouraged by the government to reuse and know that, but it is not just confined to unsightly recycle. On the other hand, a giant corporation is power lines and global warming. allowed to fly-tip on a huge scale’, says Jo Cartmell, Didcot Power Station burns the fossil fuel coal, which leader of the campaign. She has recently applied to the is crushed into powder and fed into the giant furnaces Oxford County Council to have the lake registered as a creating the heat to generate electricity. The process Town Green under the same legislation that saved the creates waste known in the industry as Pulverised Fuel Trap Grounds in North Oxford and fields adjoining the Ash (PFA) which needs to be disposed of. In Scotland church in Sunningwell from development. If it can be and other European countries the majority of ash is proved that a piece of land has been used by local recycled and used in building materials yet here in the people for twenty years without any restriction, it can UK there is no legal obligation to do this, so the be saved for the community. cheapest option is to find a convenient hole and bury The campaign has a high profile after the arrival of a it. And this, sadly, is where Radley comes in. band of eco-warriors squatted the derelict house that Since 1947 gravel has been quarried from a large area backs onto Thrupp Lake. Memories of the Newbury of agricultural land wedged between the river and Bypass and Twyford Down protests were evoked as Abingdon. Twelve pits were created in all – eyesores the squatters vowed to dig themselves into tunnels and at first but gradually they filled with rainwater and, as chain themselves to a scaffolding tower they had the end of the 20th century approached, they had won erected at the side of the house. After staving off status as a series of stunning lakes, home to thousands NPower for several weeks, the squatters were forcibly of birds and other forms of wildlife including otters evicted by balaclava-clad bailiffs in the dead of night and water voles. Unfortunately it was not just the local but they had succeeded in increasing public interest. people who admired them, for in 1982 planning Security guards, clad in black uniforms, now patrol the permission was granted to Didcot Power Station to fill area, intimidating visitors by photographing and the lakes with PFA pumped direct from their plant. videoing them and taking number plates. RWE Initially locals were assured that PFA was not toxic NPower has issued an injunction effectively gagging but in the 1980s a European directive confirmed that it the press from filming their works at the site and was toxic and contained arsenic, chromium, boron, stopping people from protesting. As a result, they have cadmium, antimony, vanadium, barium and copper. received much criticism for its heavy-handed tactics in Not surprisingly, as each lake was filled, local outrage the local press and on the radio. But the most worrying grew and it was after a one, a beautiful oasis and home development of all has occurred over the last month. to thousands of birds, was desecrated virtually Contractors have arrived at the site and under the guise overnight and surrounded by a twenty foot chain-link of maintenance work‚ have destroyed all vegetation on fence that a group of locals vowed to put a stop to this the many islands that lie in the centre of it. The environmental destruction. The Save the Radley Lakes Forestry Commission has since stated that the campaign was born. considerable tree felling was done illegally as NPower did not have a licence to carry out such measures. There are now only three lakes left. The two smaller And this is all prior to the Town Green Inquiry, held in ones are safe for the time being, but the largest, our New Pavilion from April 2nd-5th and to be Thrupp Lake, is the latest lake to be earmarked for continued later this month. destruction. Despite opposition from Abingdon Town 22 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 If the campaign group are successful in gaining Town whether it’s in everyone’s best interest to dump PFA Green Status for the area, then what will NPower do at Radley rather than elsewhere. Getting to the point with their PFA? Perhaps instead though, the single most of recycling the 17% they important reason for not filling currently do, they could recycle the lakes seems to be the the 60% that can be re-used. ecological damage that it may Scientists have calculated that cause: even if the 500,000 tons of ash The lakes are home to many designated for the lakes were thousands of birds. One of the transported to Essen for best informed and respected recycling then transported to authorities in this area is the Scotland where it can be used in RSPB. Their statement is that building materials, there would the loss of the lakes is still be a CO2 saving. ‘regrettable’, but ‘without Alternatively, there is a landfill significant effect’ on the bird site only 100 yards from the population. Presumably all of Power Station, easily large the fish and insects in the lakes enough to accommodate what are going to be killed, which they plan to dump at Radley, will undeniably be a loss. yet bizarrely this is earmarked for London landfill. Recently, However, if the ash were the campaigners have dumped elsewhere, different discovered that a landfill site in ecological damage would be Sutton Courtenay has far more capacity than originally done. Obviously the landfill sites at Sutton Courtney realised and could also accommodate Didcot’s PFA. and near Didcot power station itself are to be used for Alternatives have simply not been looked into. When PFA that will come from other power stations in the you hear that Didcot Power Station is due to close in future. PFA is going to be produced until people move 2015, you can understand why not. away from coal-fired power stations, and something has to be done with it. Suggesting that NPower dump It looks as if NPower have dug themselves into a deep it there is therefore not a solution: hole. That is where the Save the Radley Lakes campaigners hope they will stay, and that the only It makes complete sense from an amoral, cash-driven infill they have to do is to salvage their reputation after viewpoint for NPower to cling onto all the landfill the area is designated a Town Green and thereby saved sites they have, because they will need them at some for the Community. In order for this to happen the point, and whatever sites they buy instead will cause campaigners need all the support and financial help some kind of damage and cause some people some they can get. upset. At least at the Radley lakes site, the PFA can be pumped underground from Didcot, rather than making AJE people suffer the sight and noise and carbon emissions If you are interested in supporting the Save the Radley of trucking or training it elsewhere. Lakes Campaign please contact [email protected]. The ultimate solution to this problem would therefore To sign the ePetition log onto: be to eliminate the need for PFA landfill sites in the http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/SaveRadleyLakes first place. Seeing as recycling PFA is more expensive than dumping it, this would be achieved by pushing for legislation for PFA to be recycled, as in Scotland AN ALTERNATIVE VIEW and mainland Europe. Could the campaigners not add this to their agenda? At the moment, campaigning for While only a fool would argue that it’s a good thing the Radley Lakes to be saved is simply pushing the that the Radley lakes are to be filled with ash in problem away, and dumping ash on peoples’ doorsteps absolute terms, there is another side to the story, and it elsewhere in the country. Surely making disposal by is very plausible that their destruction is the lesser of landfill illegal or subject to some quota would be more many evils. ecologically friendly than demanding that NPower Many of the small complaints in the article above save our lakes in favour of any others? aren’t quite to the point: however heavy-handed ALEX CHADWICK (H) & PELHAM GROOM (E) NPower were in the way they dealt with squatters, it doesn’t affect whether the lakes should be saved or not. It’s simply badmouthing NPower to encourage people to oppose them in general, not on the basis of 23 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE A TUTOR’S DIARY CHAPTER VIII – APRIL SHOWERS & SUMMER WHINE Wednesday 18 April the week. The Bursar was instructed to purchase and install one in the next few days, and I felt immense O what a joy it is to be a Tutor in the Springtime. I was musing to myself whilst wandering round the I satisfaction that another one of my innovations is moving things forward. Patch examining, as it were, the battlements before the imminent return of the garrison. Sauntering back to the Maureen, our Matron, is back from her house in the study to jot down the more lyrical of these ponderings Cairngorms after her convalescence. She has a new (I’m thinking about publishing my diaries when I step kitten, Hannibal, but she is very protective after what down; A Tutor’s Diary has a certain ring to it, I think, happened to Attila, and won’t let anyone see it. and an old friend in the publishing business said it Thursday 19 April could be the surprise bestseller of 2016) I was jolted back to reality by the noise of a large tractor. It was a At Social Prayers this morning – all the other Socials Ford model 4610, if I’m not mistaken (I can tell just have an Assembly but I take the line that a good hymn from the chug, you see; my Northern upbringing reaches the parts mere words cannot – we sang coming to the fore). Work on J Social’s extension ‘Morning has broken’ from the orange sheet although began last week and the Bursar says we are in for 135 there were a few mutterings about the ‘trendiness weeks of noisy building. Of course, I’m not best factor’ at this time of day. I then spoke to them about pleased by the demolition of my greenhouse and prize- three things: revision, sportsmanship, and smartness – winning marrow field, but it’s all for the good of the I was trying to motivate them to better things: ‘A good College. motivational talk from the Tutor is the opium of the masses,’ my old housemaster used to say, ‘it keeps My sabbatical last term – the first ever for a serving them happy and docile’. Well, they seemed happy Tutor, the Warden informed me, although he did seem enough, which was lucky as I was about to break some very keen on the idea when he suggested it in bad news: ‘I’m afraid, boys, that there will be no I Tea December – was spent touring the distilleries and this term owing to the change to summer timetable.’ highland terrier breeders of Scotland: passions of mine There was a silence while they digested this and and Sandra’s respectively. I’m writing a little Pettigrew put up his hand. ‘Sir, are you sure? What do monograph on the Islay malts; it’s very important for a we do instead then?’ housemaster to have outside interests as well, I’ve always felt. Silly boy! It wasn’t compulsory anyway; I never buy enough crumpets for everyone. I told him to read, When I was away the boys missed me, of course. They sleep, think, run, write... ‘Have some imagination, even sent a postcard saying ‘Wish you were here’. boy!’ I finished up, and was pleased at the effect it Sandra said it was odd that there was a picture of the had. All the Removes were smiling. Falkland Islands on the front, but I knew it was probably the only one they had left in Shop, and it’s I decided to have a wander round the building site this the thought that counts. afternoon, but as I walked past some nearby flowerbeds I was horrified to discover some cigarette I was driving back from Abingdon this morning with ends hidden in the soil. I had a word with the builders some extra newspapers to help our recycling effort – but they refused to own up. I winked conspiratorially. we are second in the league table, I think, and every ‘Even I have a cigar when the missus isn’t about’ They little helps – when I turned on the wireless and caught still denied it, ‘Sorry, mate, none of us has been one of my favourite shows on Radio 4, Housemasters’ smoking round ‘ere,’ he said. I let it go but related the Question Time. The panel were discussing the story of this whole episode to the Social as a perennially tricky question of how to deter the local cautionary tale. It must have done the trick, because I riff-raff from hanging around. They mentioned a haven’t found any more evidence of smoking in those device that emits an ultra high-pitched whine which particular flowerbeds, and I’ve made a point of teenagers cannot stand, but adults cannot hear: my checking every evening. thoughts turned immediately to the problem smokers from Abingdon who frequent Jackdaw Clump and the Monday 23 April Athletics track. There were some nods around the The prefects came and asked me this morning whether table, I could see, when I brought this up in the Tutors’ it would be possible to have more powerful extractor meeting later but the Tutor of J Social gave me one of fans in the Prefects’ Bathroom. A perfectly reasonable his funny looks: ‘but they’re all teenagers,’ he said. request, I think, and it’s good to have confirmation The Warden nevertheless decided that this was a good that they are washing regularly. The Bursar has idea and the weather was suitable for a trial run later in promised to get on to it straightaway. 24 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007 The Warden sent round a memo today to Tutors that rather peaceful I thought – the silence was only broken the Ultrasonic Teenager deterrent had so far been more by the phone ringing. ‘I knew life was uncomfortable trouble than it’s worth. The first one had to be sent in I, but this is ridiculous,’ laughed the Tutor of J back because it didn’t seem to be working, but when it social. He went on to say that about 70 I Social boys was being packed up for despatch from Electronics the were camping on his lawn, and as much as he’d like to box mysteriously disappeared. ‘Keep an eye out for it, house them in J, there simply wasn’t the room. I please,’ he concluded. What is the world coming to? thought about commenting on the gigantic extension Petty theft? I don’t have that in my social, I can tell he was building, but thought I’d rather have the boys you. What on earth can anyone want with a broken back. ultrasonic emitter, anyway? Good news, though, from I marched over to J and told them to get back into Mr Horsey: Lancelot in the VI.2 won the Electronics social for roll call, but they refused – even Cup with his remote control integrated iPod/toaster. Heatherington, who’s angling for Head of Social next Not another trophy for my crowded mantelpiece, I term, couldn’t bring himself to go back. I am not used thought! to being disregarded like this, but I kept my Wednesday 25 April composure. In truth, I was perplexed: there must be a I received a very angry email today from the Network reason for this. In the end I thought it best just to let them be, and after taking roll call on the lawn, I Manager, Ray Buzzton, informing me that no I Social headed back to I. boys have been turning up since the beginning of this term. I decided to have a quiet word with them all in Halfway across the croquet lawn I looked up and Social Prayers. I gave them a lecture but at the end spotted a stream of smoke coming out of the new little Charteris, who’s always trying to correct me, extractor fan in the Prefects’ Bathroom. The Tutor’s piped up: Handbook clearly says, ‘There’s no ‘But sir, it was you yourself who told us smoke without a fire alarm’ so I smashed the nearest one and headed upstairs to not to go to IT this term – you said it was find the cause of this problem. At first I cancelled...’ My mind scrolled back to Social Prayers and then I realised what a thought there was nobody, but then my experienced Tutorial ears heard a rustling misunderstanding I had created… I hope in the mahogany-lined shower cubicle. the Tutor of J doesn’t get to hear of this, or he’ll never stop mentioning it at Tutors’ ‘Pertwee, Tosswill, what the dev⎯’ And meetings. then I smelt the smoke and saw roll-up Thursday 26 April ends on the floor. Words failed me at that moment and I’m afraid I lost control of The maintenance men came round this morning and my temper, turned on the cold tap, and shut the door took measurements for the new extractor fans. I found on them – the howls could be heard all over Social, the a Rizla packet on the upstairs corridor just after they boys said later. had left, and phoned through to see which of them had dropped it. They denied carrying tobacco on them, but After this episode I had to have a little lie down, but in I don’t blame them for having a quiet roll-up now and my study, I found Lancelot fiddling with the Tannoy then, just as long as it is not in my social! The boys, of control panel. Stupid boy, I thought, it’s much too course, I lecture on the evils of smoking regularly; complicated for him to understand. Then, however, I they know my views. Sandra used to chain smoke spotted the missing ultrasonic teenager deterrent when we first were courting, and I must say the smell sitting on my desk. There were wires hanging down on my clothes after an evening out at the pictures was from the Tannoy, the button was set to transmit, and most unpleasant. suddenly the reason behind the sudden exodus of the whole social became clear. Sunday 29 April ‘But sir, my electronics projects are all about linking I was having a nap, as I tend to do in that quiet time on electronic devices,’ he said, as if that was a defence. Sunday afternoon between lunch and roll call, when I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a flash of fur drop ‘You’ve let yourself down,’ I said to him, ‘and you’ve down from one of Matron’s second floor windows and let I down. Go to your room and reflect on what you streak across the croquet lawn. I sat up and peered out have done.’ of the window to find out what was going on. He tried to protest, but I was having none of it. There was a crowd of boys running off towards J Sometimes a Tutor has to take a firm line, you know. Social. Strange, I thought, as roll call is in a few minutes and they have to be back. I wandered around social and realised the place was utterly deserted, 25 2 May 2007 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE HERE & THERE WALKING ON FIRE Congratulations to our rackets professional, Mark A friend had signed up for a fire-walking challenge to Hubbard, who won the Lacoste World Doubles raise money for the charities ‘Macmillan Cancer’ and Championship with his American partner Neil Smith. ‘Help an Oxfordshire child’ and I thought ‘I can do MVH is also the British Professional champion, and a that’ so I signed up as well… former world singles champion. Saturday 31 March 2pm: in a few hours I will be walking on fire – having MUSIC EXAM RESULTS second thoughts, not helped by the firewalking horror stories I have found on the internet… results from recent exams 5:30pm: on my way to Oxford for the two hour Michael Little (A) 4 Guitar Merit motivational talk we undergo to prepare for the William Eden (B) 5 Trumpet challenge. Owen Petty (C) 5 Jazz Sax Distinction Rory Stallibrass (C) 8 Oboe 6pm: I have signed in, so no there’s no going back Rory Stallibrass (C) 8 Singing Distinction now! Ed Crichton (C) 7 Singing 6:30pm: the motivational talk. 32 people had signed Francis Forbes-Edwards (C) 8 Singing Merit up for the challenge today, and the talk covered fire Theo Whitworth (C) 8 Singing Merit safety, the science behind walking on fire, and Ben Sheen (C) 7 Piano Merit techniques to overcome fear and control our emotional Tom Binnie (C) 5 Piano Merit state. “Courage is not the absence of fear; it's the Callum Davidson (D) 8 Jazz Sax Distinction ability to operate in spite of fear"… Toby Chew (D) 6 Piano Charles Cutteridge (D) 8 Jazz Sax Distinction There was role-play, positive thinking, visualization, Jamie Brown (D) 8 Piano Merit and at one point I was being Peter Pan, for some Henry Mills (E) 8 Jazz Sax Distinction reason. I’m glad we all had our eyes closed. George Nye (E) 6 Piano 8:30pm: there are about a hundred people gathered Alistair Hope-Morley (E) 3 Jazz Sax Merit around a 6 metre strip fire. The heat from the fire Rory Robinson (F) 8 Perc. Merit reaches 650˚C and the soles of your feet burn at Rory van Zwanenberg (G) 8 Flute 150˚C… Andrew Savill (G) 8 Horn Merit Seb Lomas (H) 5 Perc. Distinction 9pm: it’s all over, with no burnt feet! I only felt the Seb Lomas (H) 6 Piano Merit heat on the soles of my feet once it was all over. Seb Lomas (H) 6 Singing Merit I would like to thank the people who sponsored and Seb Lomas (H) 8 Jazz Sax Distinction supported me in raising money for the two charities. It Jack Emmett (H) 5 Tuba was a great experience to push myself through this Al. Hazlakiewicz (H) 8 Jazz Sax Distinction challenge, and I would recommend it, but don’t try Jimmy Donger (H) 4 Guitar Merit this at home! Jonny Williams (H) 8 Organ Merit HW

26 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 2 May 2007

CORRESPONDENCE Correspondence is invited from any interested parties: please send contributions via email to [email protected]. Correspondents are welcome to use a pseudonym but must make their identity known to the Editors. To the editors of ‘The Radley College Chronicle’ Dear Sirs, Dear Sirs, I was somewhat surprised to receive (thanks to the The shushing incident that occurred in Chapel, in the wonders of Facebook) a message from someone saying that they had stayed in my room this Easter; he not too distant past (just before half term as all of the was even kind enough to comment on the view. lights failed), was marked by solemn disapproval from members of Common Room. Slightly more concerning was that he said, and I quote, that he ‘felt like trashing it’ but didn’t as he ‘felt sorry’ Just as this was seen as disrespectful, I think it was due for me. How kind! time that members of Common Room were frowned Yours, upon when on Saints Days they fail to don their gowns and hoods. Just as it is traditional for boys to have to ‘DISCONCERTED’ attend Chapel, so is it a tradition for Dons to wear Dear Sirs, hoods and gowns on the Saints Days published in the calendar. As I waited for supper last Thursday night around 20 of the Choristers arrived. ‘Choristers to the front of the Graduates, I appeal to your better nature; for once queue,’ piped up one little child authoritatively, tradition is lost, it is lost forever. Is this too much to resulting in a major delay to my supper. ask? My point, I suppose, is that most boys at that stage in Yours, their life are playing in Megabowl or playing football ‘ONLOOKERS’ with their friends in the park but these choristers are not at Megabowl or playing games, they are singing

Dear Sirs, Latin songs amongst themselves in Chapel. When they leave the Radley choir they will have fewer friends While I laud your satirical correspondent’s Juvenalian from out of school; being a Radley Chorister will not allusion in the last Chronicle Letters page (‘quis mean anything to their fellow students at their new dirigiet ipsos directores?’) I do think when being school in Abingdon or wherever. pretentious enough to put in a Latin tag he should be whiter than white with his accidence. As any fule kno, Every Sunday in term time between the ages of 8 and the 3rd person singular of the future active indicative 13 these Choristers will not be at their friends’ of dirigo, a 3rd conjugation verb, is ‘diriget’. birthday parties in McDonald’s or LaserQuest, they will be singing high-pitched songs in front of 600 I know, I should get out more. Radleians... Surely these young children would rather Yours, be outside having fun on a Sunday rather than singing songs? ‘OCULIS AQUILAE’ Release these children and let them have fun again!

Yours concerned, For a response to the letter from ‘SOCIAL SERVICES’ see the ‘Radley Choristers’ article on page 35. ‘SOCIAL SERVICES’ 27