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OctoBER 2006 • tishrEi 5767

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THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021-6615 is published IN THIS ISSUE monthly, except July & August and a combined issue for 6 January/February, by the Agudath Israel of America, 42 Broadway, New York, NY 10004. Periodicals postage paid in New 6 Faith Out of Chaos, Rabbi Moshe Young York, NY. Subscription $25.00/year; 2 years, $48.00; 3 years, $$69.00. Outside of the United States (US 10 The Satmar Rebbe, Reb Moshe Teitlebaum l”xz funds drawn on a US bank only) $15.00 surcharge per year. Single copy $$3.50; Outside NY area $3.95; – We Lost a Manhig Yisroel, foreign $4.50.

POSTMASTER: Rabbi Chaim Moshe Stauber Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer 42 Broadway, NY, NY 10004 Tel 212-797-9000, Fax 646-254-1600 Printed in the USA One Person Can Make the Difference Rabbi Nisson Wolpin, Editor he iruv uzzle Editorial Board 16 T K P , Mrs. Chana Nestlebaum Rabbi Joseph Elias, Chairman Rabbi Abba Brudny 20 Saying “Yes” to Y.E.S.,” Plonis Almonis Joseph Friedenson 10 Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kirzner Rabbi Nosson Scherman 23 Kiruv: Phase II, Yoel C. Goldberg Prof. Aaron Twerski

Founders 29 A Flower That Bloomed in Brooklyn, Dr. Ernst L. Bodenheimer Z”L Rabbi Moshe Sherer Z”L Mrs. Marsha Smagley Management Board Naftoli Hirsch, Isaac Kirzner, Rabbi Shlomo Lesin, David Singer, Nachum Stein

Mrs. Leah Zagelbaum, 33 Daf Hayomi, a poem by Yossi Huttler Advertising Manager Published by 34 A Lesson From Hakafos, Eliyahu Mayer Agudath Israel of America

U.S. Trade Distributor 36 The Chazon Ish, the Man and His Vision, Feldheim Publishers 208 Airport Executive Park Nanuet, NY 10954 Part II, Rabbi Shlomo Lorincz, prepared for 16 British Representative 16 M.T. Bibelman publication by Yonoson Rosenblum Grosvenor Works Mount Pleasant Hill London E5 9NE, ENGLAND

french representative Rabbi Bamberger 42 Letters to the Editor 21 Boulevard Paixhans 57000 Metz, FRANCE

israeli representative Intnl. Media Placement POB 7195 / 97 Jaffa Road Statement of Policy Jerusalem 94340, ISRAEL The Jewish Observer has devoted a great deal of space to belgian representative the perils of the Internet and to the need for everyone to Mr. E. Apter Lange Kievitstr. 29 be extremely vigilant in its use. We have echoed the pleas 2018 Antwerp, BELGIUM of our gedolim that it should not be in use, unless it is an unavoidable necessity, and then only with all suitable south african representative Mr. V. Taback THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not assume safeguards. While its dangers must be recognized and con- responsibility for the Kashrus of any product, PO Box 51552, trolled to every possible degree, our gedolim recognize that Raedene, Johannesburg publication, or service advertised in its pages 2124 SOUTH AFRICA many people and businesses require its use, and therefore it © Copyright 2006 has not been banned. This is why we accept advertisements australian representative listing website addresses, but in no way does this imply that Dr. A. Dinnen 77 Birriga Road October 2006 / VOLUME XXXIX the gedolim or The Jewish Observer condone casual use of Bellevue Hill, NSW 2023, AUSTRALIA NO. 7 the Internet. SUBSCRIBE TO THE JEWISH OBSERVER! CLICK HERE. O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6

Rabbi Chaim Moshe Stauber

A Wound Not Healed health, the pain for us of his passing is Yisroel is baruch Hashem blessed with By Time still severe and throbbing. The loss is the unprecedented resurgence of Torah particularly painful for those of us who and Chassidus, both in the Diaspora hey say that time heals all wounds. were fortunate to be close to him. The and in Eretz Yisroel, we nevertheless lag Not so with the deep gash of hav- huge void created by his absence will sadly behind in the emergence of such Ting lost our Rebbe, a true manhig not easily be filled. figures. After all, it took more than 91 Yisroel who was one of a handful who As long as the Rebbe was alive, our years to produce such a Rebbe. Besides were left from pre-War Europe. Passage youth had an authentic glimpse into all the decades of limud haTorah coupled of time only makes us realize how pro- the past. His hadras pannim – a patri- with avodas Hashem that the Rebbe had found our loss really is. archal face and demeanor that spoke amassed bikedusha vetahara (in sanctity Although the Rebbe lived to an volumes – reminded us of the previous and purity), his body had also become advanced age of 91, and for a num- Rebbe, as well as of other tzaddikim sanctified and elevated as a result of ber of his last years he was in failing in previous generations. Even as Klal his life’s ordeal, enduring so much

personal tragedy and suffering that it camps for brutal treatment, beatings and had turned many ordinary survivors can be said that he hardly had a good punishment. They murdered his young into holy beings – prominent among day in his life. wife and three children, and his brothers them, the Rebbe. The Rebbe told us how he had been and sisters and their families, including singled out by the Nazis in forced-labor his older brother Reb Zalman Leib d”yh l”xz, Sigheter Rav, who was taken to the In a Cradle of Kedusha Rabbi Stauber is a talmid of the previous gas chambers together with the entire Rebbe, and was zoche to be close to both transport from Sighet – the old and the he Rebbe was born in Ratzfert, Rebbes. For many years he served as the editor of Der Yid, and a klal askan who, very young Yidden from his kehilla. He Hungary, where his maternal among other causes, had founded Pesach refused to part with them during the Tgrandfather, Hagaon Reb Shulem Tikvah – a non-profit mental health agency “selection,” and was sent “to the left” al Eliezer Halberstam d”yh l”xz had lived. in Williamsburg. kiddush Hashem. Such suffering alone The Belzer Rebbe, Reb Yissachar Ber

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Rokeach l”xz, who lived in Ratzfert Rav l”xz) and the Biksader Rebbe l”xz, Rebbe and had many tens of thou- due to World War I, was his sandak. had stood in awe before the Rebbe even sands of Yidden (bli ayin hara) as his Young Moshe was rather weak from before he was bar mitzva. Chassidim in the Satmar Kehillos world- birth, and apparently, that was one of The Rebbe recalled how he had wide, he continued to conduct himself the reasons he was named after the immersed himself in learning Torah, with modesty and incredible humility. Yismach Moshe. The Rebbe remembered his father putting him to sleep in his sefarim shtieb (library), where he personally kept vigil over him. There, he observed and In addition to being a gadol baTorah absorbed his father’s avodas hakodesh, leaving an indelible impression on his vehora’a, and one of the most prominent neshama. rabbanim of the she’eiris hapleita, Many years ago, the Rebbe himself told this writer of the special bonding with a vast knowledge and experience in and feeling of closeness between himself kashrus, shechita, mikvaos, dinei Torah, etc., and his famed father, Hagaon Hakadosh Reb Chaim Tzvi l”xz (known in the he was outstanding in his ahavas Yisroel. Chassidishe world as the Atzei Chaim, after his sefer). The Rebbe was not yet 12 years of age when he was orphaned from both his parents; yet, he had already been blessed with a unique capacity for When someone had pointed out to the recognized as being especially bright and memorizing, while striving to plumb the Rebbe that it was not in keeping with sincere – an emerging talmid chacham depths of every inyan (topic) he learned. his kavod that the Rebbe’s gabbai – Reb whose exceptional hasmada in Torah It was for his erudition in Torah and Moshe Friedman – be called at the study and total immersion in avodas exceptionally refined middos that his tisch by the same name as the Rebbe Hashem foretold greatness. family was resolved to keep him in the (“Moshe”), his answer was: “This way fold, and thus arranged that he marry I am reminded what my real name is…. his first cousin, the daughter of his In the View of Older uncle, the Sassover Rebbe, Hagaon Reb Boruch S., a nephew of mine in Chassidim Henoch Mayer l”xz (son-in-law of the the hosiery import business, had Kedushas Yomtov, Reb Lipa Teitelbaum an entire shipment of merchandise y father, Reb Yecheskel l”xz). Thus, the previous Rebbe, Reb Yoel from Europe impounded by U.S. Menachem ben Reb Shlomo Teitelbaum l”xz, was his uncle from two Customs. The customs agent told MTzvi l”z, who passed away a sides. He also was his spiritual mentor, him that due to tighter scrutiny little over a year ago at age 92, was a and related to him like a father. in this post-Sept. 11, ’01 era, it shochet and mohel in Antwerp for close As the Rebbe himself had said at his would take considerably more time to 30 years. During the last 20 years of hesped for the previous Rebbe, calling than before until they released the his life, he lived in Williamsburg, where out: “Avi! Avi! – I can justifiably cry goods. This was a terrible blow to he was an ardent Chassid of the Rebbe, out from the bottom of my aching and him and his business, and he was although he was the Rebbe’s senior. He sorrowful heart: My father! My father! facing a substantial loss. He went described how many older Rebbe’im, – Twice! When my father passed away, to the Rebbe and told him his pre- like the Nasuder Rav l”xz (who had I was still a young child, and I grew up dicament. The Rebbe responded: been a staunch Chassid of the Sanzer under the guidance and influence of my “What do you think I can do holy uncle, who was like a loving father more than you? All I can do is be His father was the eldest son and successor to me all through the years. Now I am mispalleil and say a little Tehillim. to the Kedushas Yomtov (Rabbi Chanaya Yomtov orphaned from both….” But that you, too, can do. So let Lipa, Rav in Sighet, Romania). He, in turn, was the son of the Yeiteiv Leiv (Rabbi Yekusiel In addition to being a gadol baTorah us both daven, and may Hashem Yehuda), who was the son of Reb Eluzor Nissan vehora’a, and one of the most prominent help you.” l”xz, Rav of Drohbitch, only son of the Yismach rabbanim of the she’eiris hapleita, with The next day, his broker called Moshe. The Yismach Moshe himself had attested a vast knowledge and experience in Boruch to inform him that of all to the special kedusha they had inherited, saying that his forebears for ten generations back were kashrus, shechita, mikvaos, dinei Torah, the impounded containers, only all great talmidei chachamim and meticulously etc., he was outstanding in his ahavas his was released. holy tzaddikim. Yisroel. Even when he was the Satmar

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When the previous Rebbe was anav me’od – And the man Moshe was Volover Rav d”yh l”xz, who bore him taken from us on that dark day very modest” (Bamidbar 12,3). three daughters and four sons. of 26 Av, 5739/1979, we were all In 1938, he was selected as rav of For close to forty years, the Rebbe was devastated. A gnawing feeling of a Zenta, Yugoslavia…. Eight years later, known as the Sigheter Rav, successor to bitter spiritual void prevailed, and having barely survived Auschwitz, he the Sighet dynasty. Throughout the four deprived us of the security that was drafted to be the rav of Sighet by the decades following World War II (when we would lead our lives in accor- surviving remnants and agreed to help he had lost his first family) the Rebbe dance with Torah and Yiddishkeit. rebuild the city of his forefathers from was perfectly satisfied with a limited Many of us felt like survivors felt the ruins of the war. A skeleton figure, income to support his second family. after Auschwitz, terribly shaken, he had been ravaged by the Nazis, who From his modest-sized beis midrash, and contemplating how we might had mercilessly starved him and beaten small yeshiva, and old-fashioned, simple manage to go on. Where does him so savagely that he was many times residence in Brooklyn – first on Hewes one experiencing difficulty having very close to the end. Miraculously, Street in the Williamsburg section of children go for a yeshua, and to he survived, and Hashem helped him Brooklyn, and later in Boro Park – he whom does one turn to ensure a regain enough physical strength and will continued to be a marbitz Torah ve’yiras parnassa? There are many stories power to ensure that the several scores Shamayim, just as he had in pre-war about how the Rebbe served as the of saved Yidden who had returned to Europe. And he continued giving shi- good shaliach to bring Yidden their Sighet would survive spiritually, as well. urim (lectures) and farhern (examina- needed salvation. Let us cite one of After two years, due to the advent of tions) as long as his health permitted. numerous stories whose authentic- Communism, the Rebbe immigrated He davened with hishtafchus hanefesh ity this writer can vouch for: to the U.S. (pouring out his soul), his voice often They were married for close While still in Europe, he had mar- resembling that of the previous Rebbe to 10 years and the doctors were ried a Teitelbaum cousin, the current l”xz. Who can forget his heart-rend- unable to help them. Then, Reb Rebbetzin, Pessel Leah, daughter of the ing tefillos as a sheliach tzibbur on Eliezer A. and his wife came to the Rebbe with a kvittel telling him how desperate they both are. It had been quite a number of years since they were married and had no children. They both cried so hard that the Rebbe himself was also moved to tears. “You will shortly be blessed with zera shel kayama (lasting offspring). You can begin in earnest shopping for a baby carriage.” Exactly nine months from that day, a daughter was born to them.

Besides, my father l”xz also had a gabbai who was named Reb Nachum Hersh, like him….”

In the Pathways of Humility

hen the Torah extolls Moshe Rabbeinu, it does not cite his Wtraits of holiness, knowledge or extreme devotion to his flock. Rather, the Torah praises him: “Veha’ish Moshe

12 The Jewish Observer

an ordinary Shabbos, not to mention Kollel Shomrei Hachomos – Reb Meir Rebbe was officially named Satmar Yamim Tovim and, most particularly, Baal Haness; Keren Hatzola; Rav Tov Rebbe. There were times when his very on the Yamim Nora’im? Or his ethereal International Rescue Organization; authority faced challenges from within dance during hakafos, very much like Yeshivas Yetev Lev in Yerushalayim; and without, but the same siyatta diSh- the previous Rebbe. The depth of his Yeshivas Maharit in Bnei Brak; and maya that had accompanied his uncle drashos and divrei Torah when conduct- scores of Satmar institutions in the U.S., assisted this Rebbe, as well. He, too, was ing a tisch can readily be seen in his Sefer London, Belgium, and Canada, with rach kekoneh vekasheh ke’erez (flexible Beirach Moshe. untold numbers of Yiddishe kinderlach as a reed, strong as a cedar tree) and As Sigheter Rav, he was content to – boys and girls – receiving an examp- was na’im halichos, sweet and pleasant live in the shadow of his illustrious uncle lary chinuch al taharas hakodesh. with people. and mentor, Rabbeinu Yoel Teitelbaum. When the previous Rebbe was niftar, Despite his subdued style and gentle They maintained a very close relation- the entire Torah world was shaken. manner, he did not shy away from ship, and it became quite apparent that Many did not believe that Satmar would leading battles against meharsei hadas the previous Rebbe, having had no survive. It took a full year until the (violators of sacred tradition) and her- surviving children of his own, wanted his nephew to succeed him. בס״ד חברת ״קנין הארץ״ לקיום מצוות התלויות בארץ While the previous Rebbe was still KINYAN HA’ARETZ ASSOCIATION PRESENTS AN alive, the Sighter Rav sought to preserve a vibrant Yiddishkeit for posterity. This writer was present at a meeting in the OPPORTUNITY offices of the Hisachdus Harabbonim (Central Rabbinical Congress), of which the old Rebbe was nasi (president) OF A LIFETIME and the Beirach Moshe the segan nasi (vice-president). Even though his awe LEASE LAND IN ERETZ YISRAEL for his uncle was remarkable, and he AND MORE THAN TWENTY Kinyan Ha’aretz Association hardly said one word without being MITZVOTH THAT YOU’VE NEVER promotes the fulfillment of the YET FULFILLED WILL BE YOURS!!! called upon, at this meeting discussing Mitzvoth pertaining to Eretz Kinyan Ha’aretz Association is offering Yisrael with the blessings and kashrus, the Rebbe was adamant about an opportunity that just cannot be guidance of Gedolei Yisroel. the need to train rabbanim, dayanim, missed: lease a plot of agricultural land in Israel and we will do the rest! shochtim, and other klei kodesh for the LETTER FROM THE GEDOLIM We will cultivate the plot of land We have been approached by a group of G-d fearing Talmidei Chachamim, led by next generation. In fact, he demanded for you and act as your Halachic Rosh Hakollel Harav Meir Leibovitch and one of the leading scholars of the Beth that the Satmar Kehilla set the example representatives to fulfill all the special mitzvoth that can be fulfilled only Hamidrash Lehalacha Behityashvuth, Harav Hagaon Sha’ul Reichenberg, who is by hiring a dayan. Soon after that, by one who owns land in Eretz known for his erudition, particularly in halachoth pertaining to agriculture. We were the current rosh beis din of the main Yisrael – more than twenty pleased to hear that they have been able to establish an organization, the Kinyan mitzvoth in all! Satmar Kehilla, Rabbi Yisroel Chaim Ha’aretz Association, whose purpose is to enable all Jews to own a portion of land Two great options to acquire Menashe Friedman a”jyls, who until in Eretz Yisrael and thus fulfill the special mitzvoth which apply only in Eretz Yisrael, your piece of land: then was the rosh yeshiva of the Sighet such as terumoth, ma’aseroth, shemittah, leket, shikechah and pe’ah, in the best DAGAN wheat Yeshiva in Boro Park, became the Satmar farmer – $50 per year possible way, with all hiddurim. Dayan in Williamsburg, and Rabbi for a five-year lease. Fortunate is one who is privileged to be a partner with this distinguished group and Getzel Berkowitz a”jyls was engaged TIROSH* grape is thus able to fulfill these precious mitzvoth in the best way possible. as Dayan in Kiryas Yoel-Monroe. farmer – $72 per year for HaRav Michel Yehuda Lefkowitz a five-year lease. HaRav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv HaRav Chaim Kanievsky Prices good until January 1, 2007 *In addition to all of the Mitzvoth HaRav Aharon Leib Steinman Following His Uncle’s included in DAGAN, TIROSH adds two HaRav Yisrael Halevi Belsky more Mitzvoth, Peret and Olleloth. Leadership HaRav Yaakov Perlov Additional Option: Purchase land plus a t gatherings of the Hisachdus grapevine. Harabbonim, he would be Aseated next to his uncle, and in most cases, was also one of the APPLICATIONS ARE AVAILABLE AT CHOICE JEWISH BOOKSTORES ACROSS THE COUNTRY OR CALL: first speakers. When he became Satmar Kinyan Ha'aretz, 5723 18th Ave. Brooklyn, NY, Tel: 718.663.1311, Fax: 718.234.2886 Rebbe, he ascended to the presidency Tel/Fax: 646.432.5622, E-mail: [email protected] of that rabbinic body, as well as of the Eida Hachareidis in Yerushalayim;

13 O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6

etics, wherever they may have been. The Rebbe felt it his responsibility to wage milchama LaShem baAmaleik midor dor with the same vigor and fire as the previous Rebbe. Whenever he deemed a response or a public demonstration imperative, the Rebbe sent out his troops.

LTD Soon after he became Satmar Rebbe, a serious threat to the very existence of the Eida Hachareidis arose. The Rebbe took on the source of this challenge with a fury and an all-out response ISRAEL ADVERTISING that was unlike anything expected from him, since he had not engaged in such fierce battles in the past. Many had been A Family Hotel stunned, including this writer. When I

on the Kinneret shore said to the Rebbe that people are surprised at his vehemence, he answered, “I Summertime - and the Kinneret’s soothing had no choice, for two reasons: Number waters await you. Springtime – the flowering one, that was the only way to save the green Galil. In autumn, pamper yourself in Eida Hachareidis. Number two, I am the northern hot springs. Wintertime, now the Satmar Rebbe, and no longer marvel at the Golan’s sparkling streams. Get the Sigheter Rav….” to know Israel from a new perspective each • • • season – on a vacation that is a complete During the Rebbe’s last trip to experience. Come to the Kinar Classic. Eretz Yisroel in 5754, I was part of Warm Israeli atmosphere his entourage. While in Bnei Brak, Family meals with high standard of Kashrut he visited prominent gedolei Torah; Convenient to all northern region tourist sites I was present when Hagaon Harav Shach l”xz paid him a return visit. It Beach on the Kinneret ★ Gym ★ Sauna was quite moving to see Rabbi Shach, ★ Jacuzzi Children’s Activities ★ Sports grounds a frail old man, continually sighing deeply and saying to the Rebbe: For reservations: 972-4-673-8822 “Satmar Rebbe, ich hob moireh az www.kinar.co.il s’vet kumen a tzeit ven Yidden shom-

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14 JObsvLF.indd 1 9/18/2005 5:33:55 PM The Jewish Observer

rei Torah vellen do nit kennen voinen! An Irreplaceable Loss Amidst all his suffering in – I am afraid there may come a time the Nazi forced-labor camps, it when Torah-observant Jews will no ur loss with the passing of this was astounding how he clung longer be able to live here!” Rebbe l”xz is profound and dev- to emuna sheleima in Hashem, The Rebbe put his hand on that Oastating. During the 26 years- and constantly encouraged other of Rabbi Shach with affection to plus since the petira of the VaYoel Moshe inmates to recite the Thirteen Ikarei reassure him, that he need not be l”xz (the name of his sefer) – when the Emuna (Principles of Faith). He dav- so concerned because Hashem had Beirach Moshe succeeded him as the ened and learned with his fellow vowed to us that He will not forsake Satmar Rebbe – it miraculously seemed inmates by heart at every oppor- us…. That was an exchange one does to a large degree that the old Rebbe were tunity. It was amazing to what not easily forget. still alive. Not only did he resemble and degree he constantly reminded Rabbi Moshe Sherer l”xz told me sound very much like his uncle, it was as his listeners, even during his final the following: He had visited the if he had also inherited a great measure days, that bi’as Hamashiach was Rebbe, as Sighter Rav, and invited of his spiritual prowess as a po’eil yeshuos. imminent. Whenever the classic him to grace the dais at an upcom- (The Rebbe, of course, ascribed every- “Ani Ma’amin Be’emuna Sheleima ing National Convention of Agudath thing to the ko’ach hashpa’a [influence] Bevi’as Hamashiach” was sung, his Israel of America. Rabbi Sherer was of the previous Rebbe, saying: “It’s all the face changed colors as he shed accompanied by a handful of people, ko’ach of my holy uncle. I do not delude tears. Perhaps his profound emuna one of whom davened regularly in myself. I know it’s so!”) was his greatest mofeis (miracle). the Sigheter Beis Midrash in Boro The recurring theme at every gather- Park. After Rabbi Sherer made his ing was the need for every Chassid to request, the Rebbe pointed to this remember: “Ein lanu shiyur rak haTorah my conduct? We must weigh everything mispalleil, saying with a broad smile: hazois – We have nothing left except this we contemplate and do against what the “Even if I am not at the convention Torah,” and only through learning and Rebbe l”xz would have wanted us to do myself, I do have a shaliach (personal keeping mitzvos in the authentic fashion in a situation like this.” emissary) there….” we have inherited from our forefathers His legacy to us is the manner in Rabbi Sherer retorted: “If it’s will we survive in this land…. On many which he kept this sacred charge alive, a question of having the Rebbe’s occasions, the Rebbe intoned, “We each demanding, and teaching us by his shaliach present at the convention, must always remember and think: What inspiring example, how to respond to then I can fill that role.” would the Rebbe l”xz have said regarding this challenge. d

15 One Person Can Make The Difference

Chana Nestlebaum The Forty Years’ Difference

e live in a unique period of history. Never before have there been masses of Jews who Whave grown up completely severed from any meaningful connection to Judaism. Not only are the fundamental skills and education missing, but The even the simple emotional bonds that endow a person with a sense of belonging to the Jewish people have been effectively dissolved in the melting pot. Fifty years ago, when I was growing up, most of the older generation had some connection to authentic Yiddishkeit. I remember my mother light- Kiruv ing three brass candlesticks on Friday night, just as her mother did. I recall driving with my parents to the city from our suburban home to buy meat at the kosher butcher shop. The sawdust on the floor and the big roll of white paper on the counter remain Puzzle snapshots in my mind. My grandparents still lived in the city, off of Blue Hill Avenue, which for decades was the throbbing center of Jewish life in Boston. When we visited on Sundays, my grandfather, whom we called “Papa,” would take us to the Franklin Park Zoo. On the way, we’d be immersed in Jewish life as we passed the kosher shops and observed the elderly Jews strolling the avenue. Because it was Sunday, there was always some challah left over from Shabbos. Even though we didn’t have challah on our own table, it was there – a vestige of Shabbos – in our lives. On the way home, we would sometimes run into Mr. Lakin, the sherbet vendor. He was my vision of an Old World Jew. With his long, grizzly white beard and gentle smile, he would scoop out some creamy, pastel-colored ices into a pleated paper cup and hand it to me carefully, as if it might break.

Mrs. Nestlebaum is the editorial director for Oorah Kiruv Rechokim, Lakewood, NJ. She was most recently represented in this pages with “Lost and Found,” Oct. ’04.

16 The Jewish Observer

Papa’s Special World only have the children growing up today kiruv today. In order to foster a complete never heard a word of Yiddish, their parents Jewish identity, the person involved in kiruv apa always wore a baseball cap. I didn’t have never heard one, either. They are two must supply more than one part of the pic- realize it at the time, but that was his or three generations removed from the last ture. Learning alone won’t do it. Emotions Pyarmulke for the public arena. He had Shabbos candles to grace the family’s dining alone won’t carry the person all the way. other secrets as well. There was a pile of enve- room table. If they eat something kosher, Neither will Torah-observant friends and lopes on a desk in an unused back bedroom. it’s almost surely by accident. If they have neighbors, nor a particular rabbi or shul. They were printed with bold-faced Hebrew a Jewish education, it’s just enough to get For Torah observance to become someone’s letters and photos of bearded old men in through a bar or bat mitzvah, and then life, it must provide him with everything rabbinical garb. Who were all these rabbis, get on with life. life requires. and why were they contacting Papa? It was How, the Torah-observant world won- But kiruv has to start somewhere. Many his world, and even though we didn’t know ders, can such assimilated people ever come kiruv organizations work at finding those much about it, we knew it existed. back to Judaism? An authentic Jewish iden- dusty, neglected puzzle pieces hidden under When Pesach came around, we’d drive tity is like a puzzle, composed of many the rug. Once the neshama is unearthed to Bubbi’s and Papa’s house for the Sedarim. interlocking pieces. There is the emotional and touched by the loving concern of a fel- My sister, brother and I would race up piece that connects to home and family life, low Jew, the picture can begin to take shape. the stairs to their second-story apart- the intellectual piece that is forged in yeshiva Something needs to draw out the neshama, ment, bursting to display our new haircuts, and Bais Yaakov, the social piece developed to help the person feel its presence and clothes and shoes to our faithfully admir- with peers in school, at shul and in the com- understand what it is. That “something” ing grandparents. We were surely, in their munity, and most importantly, the spiritual might be a taste of Torah learning through eyes, the most beautiful children that G-d piece of the puzzle – the joy felt by a person’s Partners in Torah, an inspiring Shabbaton ever placed on earth. Somehow, the excite- neshama when he learns Hashem’s Torah or with Discovery or Gateways, a thought- ment carried us through Papa’s hurried speaks to Hashem in tefilla. provoking article on Aish.com, a visit to but complete rendition of the Hagadda, Fifty years ago, there were enough the campus Chabad House, or a Birthright pronounced in a Livtish accent that was pieces left to make a picture, although the trip to Israel. It might be a Shabbos meal at foreign to our ears. He would beam as allegiance to Torah and halacha – the glue the next-door neighbor’s house. we, with our elementary Hebrew school that holds it all together – was missing. But Kiruv has to start somewhere. The education, would correct him. “Tow-rah, a Jew growing up in the secular world today question is, where does it go from Papa. Not Tei-reh.” As we walked out to has just one of these pieces – a neshama that there? our car in the silence of the night, the air yearns to connect to Hashem. It is often seemed spookily saturated with angels and buried so deeply that he doesn’t even know prophets and all the supernatural beings we it’s there. If it were a puzzle piece, it would Sealing the Cracks had spent the night imagining. be the one that had been kicked under the rug. It’s there, but where? ccording to a Rabbi Tzvi Aryeh Yoffe, Kiruv Director of Oorah, Generations Removed Aa Lakewood-based organization, The Puzzle’s Missing Pieces founded by Rabbi Chaim Mintz, many ast forward fifty years. Today’s people who set out to seek their Jewish American Jewish families are two his metaphor – a puzzle missing identity eventually abandon the journey. For even three generations removed almost all its pieces – describes the While they may be enriched by what from those Kodachrome memories. Not Tchallenge facing those working in they’ve experienced, and may even be MASTER DAF • 4-5 blatt per tape • Each Daf is read, translated, and explained slowly and clearly in just 20 minutes • $4 per tape (plus S&H) • Subscription rate: $3 per tape (plus S&H) 1-718-435-5438 • 1-800-966-6026 A project of the Slabodka Yeshiva

17 O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6

saved from intermarriage because of it, Monmouth branch of the school, located know this is something they won’t find they do not ultimately adopt a life of in Manalapan, NJ, says that much of this in public school.” Torah and mitzvos. extra dimension is provided by teachers, Working with the parents is also para- “People fall through the cracks,” he who are chosen for both their teaching mount in fostering success with the chil- explained. “The most successful cases talents and their commitment to nurtur- dren. One way in which Sholom does are those in which someone is working ing their students’ growing commitment this is by giving due consideration to the closely with the family, dealing with the to Torah. priorities with which the secular parents entire kiruv process.” “The most important component of enter the system. A kiruv-oriented school, such as the kiruv is nothing that’s done overtly,” says “We have to provide excellent secular Sholom Torah Academies in New Jersey, Rabbi Lapa. “It’s the relationships, the studies,” says Rabbi Lapa. “That is what a understands clearly the need to provide interactions. When teachers are genuine family is looking for – the greatest oppor- more than a classroom seat. and sincerely care about the children, tunity for their child to be successful in Rabbi Eli Lapa, principal of the Western the parents sense it immediately. They the ‘real world.’ And since they recognize financial and social status as success, we have to provide a program that gives them confidence that their children will be able to attend Harvard and Yale.” On the other end of the balance, efforts must be made to help the parents adopt more Torah-oriented priorities. Sholom at one time offered its own adult education classes, but now refers its parents to classes given by Torah Links, part of Beis Medrash Govoha’s Gesher outreach program. Oorah understands that those parents who have taken the giant step of enrolling their children in yeshiva or day school often find themselves in the difficult situation of being unable to help their children with the simplest of assignments. Therefore, it offers the option of at-home learning by phone or in person. While parent education is an essential piece of the puzzle, some kiruv experts point out that referrals to various community resources are effective only when there is follow-up. “For instance, what if the parents don’t like the program you send them to?” says Oorah spokesman Rabbi Yoffe. “Do they come to you and It feels better just to talk about it. That’s tell you, or do they just quit, and you find why we’re here. Our staff is made up of out about it months later? caring and sensitive individuals. Together, we can help you explore your options. We “The problem can also evolve the other can refer you to recognized professionals way around. Say the parents get inspired for counseling, legal advice or help in and try to become religious, and they finding a safe environment. We can also decide to send their child to yeshiva. But put you in touch with some very special Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to what if that yeshiva doesn’t work out for you, you must first reach out to us. the child? Is there anyone the parents can Confidential Hotline 1.888.883.2323 turn to for advice, or will they just put the (Toll Free) child back into public school?” There are hundreds of other scenarios, 718.337.3700 as well, that can cause the kiruv process ( N Y C A r e a ) Do it for yourself. to fizzle. A person may want to become Do it for your children. Shalom Task Force is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization observant, but fears telling his employer that he has to leave early on Friday. He

18 The Jewish Observer

may be stalled by the resistance he expects to religious families who come to be part camp. Or they were going to camps that from parents or friends. He may live in a of the experience. were Jewish but not Orthodox. There were neighborhood that has no shul in walk- It is equally vital that Yom Tov be made no frum camps set up especially to deal ing distance and no kosher shopping. meaningful, especially to children who are with kids from non-frum homes.” One spouse might want to adopt more enrolled in yeshiva and learning about the As vital as all these aspects of kiruv religious observances while the other is laws and rituals as each season approaches. are, the most vital piece of the puzzle, disinterested or outright opposed. In all For this reason, Oorah builds sukkos for its especially when working with children, is these instances, a caring, sensitive mentor families and runs Chol Hamoed trips for their success in Torah learning. It is there, can be the difference between overcom- the children. Shalom keeps school open as well, that great potential for difficulty ing the problem and moving forward, or for Chol Hamoed Sukkos. arises, especially if a child starts school slipping back into the “default mode” of “We stay open for two reasons,” says later in his career. For children from reli- non-observance. Rabbi Lapa. “One is that our parents gious homes, there would very seldom, if “There are so many things that hap- are going by a secular calendar. If the ever, be a thought of removing the child pen to a person between the first ‘oohs and aahs’ and a real commitment to Torah,” says an experienced kiruv volunteer. “People think of kiruv as the dramatic Kiruv must help Jews find transformation, the guy who cuts off his pony tail and puts on a yarmulke. But comfort, warmth and friendship there are many people walking around among their own people in black hats or sheitels, who are not quite there yet. They need a lot of support, for a long time, and that is the real, unglamor- ous, day-to-day work of kiruv.” children didn’t have school, it would from the yeshiva system if he were not present them with a major problem. But succeeding. But for children who have more importantly, if we didn’t bring the already been in public school and whose Replicating Growing children to school, most of them would parents do not yet understand the value Up Frum have no chance to sit in a sukka or shake of what their children are receiving in a lulav and esrog.” yeshiva, that idea can seem like a much hat goes into this type of more realistic alternative. long-term kiruv? “Think about Therefore, another key aspect of kiruv Wgrowing up religious,” says Summer Backslide is to conduct regular, systematic follow- Rabbi Yoffe. “Think about everything that up, visiting families, calling parents and goes into raising a Jewish child. You have ost children coming from secu- making sure that problems are resolved, rebbei’im and teachers. You have grand- lar homes live in non-religious lest the child or his parents be soured on parents, aunts and uncles that might take Mneighborhoods, making it dif- Jewish education. the children for a Shabbos or bring them ficult for them to develop appropriate on a Chol Hamoed trip. You have rabbanim social ties outside school. Their parents and relatives you might ask for advice. may not worry at all about the backslid- The Last Word You can’t even begin to take into account ing the old friends and neighborhood can the network that a religious person has at cause. In fact, they may be happy to see eyond teaching the fundamentals his or her disposal. This is what we try to the child “balance” between his old life of Judaism, and the skills and supply to our kiruv families.” and his new one. Once again, therefore, Bhalachos involved in Torah obser- For instance, although children are in the kiruv organization or mentor must vance, kiruv has another task to perform. yeshiva, there is no Shabbos at home for act in loco parentis and provide what any It must help Jews find comfort, warmth many of them. At Shalom Torah Academy, caring Jewish parent would provide, given and friendship among their own people. two yearly Shabbatons, one sponsored by the necessary level of awareness. For children who have no memory of the school and another done in conjunc- Oorah answered this problem by open- Bubbi and Papa’s seder, of the kosher tion with Gateways, provides a taste of ing up its own summer camp. The girls’ butcher and the old neighborhood, new a rich Shabbos experience. In addition, camp is now in its third season, and a memories must be made. And that is not teachers frequently invite children to boys’ division was launched this summer. the job of a kiruv organization. It is the job their own homes for Shabbos. Oorah In recruiting for the camp, Oorah found of every religious Jew. When our brethren periodically runs a Shabbat With Oorah that it was filling a wide-open niche. “Most find serenity, enthusiasm and joy in our retreat, which helps families create warm, kids from non-religious homes were going world, they want what we have. Then, the emotional ties to their Jewish identity and to specialty camps like baseball or ballet pieces fall into place. d

19 One Person Can Make The Difference

Plonis Almonis

bout three years ago, I signed up family, ranging in age from newborn guess that’s called “time management with Project Y.E.S. as a volunteer. to twelve, one hour seemed like a lot. for mothers.” It was amazing to see that AAt the time, I had numerous It turned out that Nechama, like many the hour could be found, and moreover, reservations about being a mentor – but kids in trouble, was keeping pretty late that one hour a week could really make the years have proven that for me, and hours, and for my own family, leaving a difference. Very rarely did I speak on I believe for her, the rewards have been the house one night a week from 9 to the phone with or see Nechama outside immeasurable. I have often suggested to 10 was least invasive. Even then, the of our weekly hour, yet, over time, we friends that they become a mentor, and two-year-old, a napper, was occasionally developed a strong bond. they’ve mentioned many of the same up, and he actually came along with us Rather than being neglected, my concerns I had. Among them: Too busy. sometimes. I was pretty exact about children benefited from my mentoring. Lack professional Most importantly, skills. Inexperienced it was an invaluable with kids at risk. Not role model for them hip or cool. Kids in two areas: ahavas wouldn’t relate to me. Yisroel and keep- Unwilling to neglect ing a commitment. my own children. My There were a few family will suffer…. Saying times over the years Recently, I was that I was literally zocheh to chat with my too exhausted to “mentee,” Nechama, go out, and consid- about her work with ered canceling, but at-risk children and my husband and her recent engage- daughter brought ment. It’s a time Nechama to my for me to reflect on “Yes” house, propped me how much the men- up on pillows, and toring has done for set up our hour. me and for my fam- This was a strong ily. Hopefully, it will example for them inspire some others on the importance who currently share to Y.E.S. of a commitment. my own initial concerns to jump in and forge a connection The Power with a Jewish child. Opening My Eyes of Listening n o t h e r What a and My Heart m a j o r Difference an Ac o n c e r n , Hour Makes to a Teenager at Risk beyond time, was: How would a teen y over- at risk relate to me? whelming concern was: When my one-hour allotment, which actually I’m a middle-aged mother, not particu- Mwill I find the time without suited Nechama fine. I think it made the larly cool or street smart. Old car, plain neglecting my family? relationship more appealing to her. house. Nechama was a trendy teenager Even though the program only The benefits for me were several. who loved shopping and talking about required one hour a week, as a work- First, I learned something about squeez- bargains. She was also very intuitive ing mother with, baruch Hashem, a large ing time from seemingly nowhere. I and street smart. But I soon learned that simply being myself, an imperfect Project Y.E.S. (Youth Enrichment Services), a project of Agudath Israel of America, is an organization of professionally trained volunteers who focus on the challenges facing at-risk teens. adult, somewhat more mature than her, Services – currently available in New York, Chicago, Detroit, and Minneapolis – include a hot- who cared enough to meet with her line, mentoring program, alternative school placement, professional referrals, vocational for a short time on a consistent basis, counseling and job placement. was enough. And in our relationship, I

20 The Jewish Observer

learned the power of a lot of skills that her. Hmmm. That was exactly what I was process, and so, yet another lesson was I use (or should, anyway) with my own doing with my son, who was learning out of brought home: patience... children. town. I think he was pleasantly surprised Of course, my most important lessons Probably, the most invaluable lesson when our protracted calls became short, came from learning from Nechama’s I learned was the power of listening. upbeat conversations. Like many kids at example. Here she was, a young girl Fortunately, Nechama loved to talk – and risk, she held those around her to a much saddled with some pretty difficult issues, I’m a decent listener. I’d ask her about higher standard than herself – she should and yet, she summoned the will to deal her week, and for much of the time she’d have been a mashgiach – and honed in with them, and to grow from them. talk. At first, she’d tell me all about her on any possible inconsistencies she found Her strength of character, and personal shopping (I’d try to facilitate minimally in her parents’ behavior or observance. I growth, emotionally and in Yiddishkeit, so that she wouldn’t realize the depths of resisted joining her in her parent bashing are an example for me: Whatever situa- my ignorance), and then, as time went (a very tempting way to forge a connection Hashem sends our way, deal with it. on, she’d bring up the real issues in her tion with kids), but listened thoughtfully, Grow from it. She has. life. I’d give her my opinion, if it seemed and processed that message…. Finally, a plug for Project Y.E.S. she was open to it, trying to be as honest And yet another lesson: Like many of Theoretically, I should have been able to as possible without being critical. It was the mentors at the Project Y.E.S. meeting, take on responsibility for helping another often a juggling act. Gradually, I came to I was dubious at first that a teen would mother’s child in a committed way, on a realize that she appreciated my being a have any interest in being mentored, regular basis. I think that without doing it straight shooter with her. I remember her since it was the parents who initiated this in a formal way, my commitment would once laughing ruefully after she asked me relationship. We were assured that nearly not have been the same. Also, despite my for advice about some lies she planned to all the kids who were referred for mentor- large extended family and friendly block tell her parents, “What am I asking you ing were open to it, and with Nechama, – like many frum Jews in the big city, I for? You always see their side, too.” that was indeed the case. Overcoming crave for community. Doing this as part I was constantly amazed that she my own fear of challenge (and rejection) of an organization filled my need to feel trusted me simply because I was willing was a plus for me. While Nechama easily connected. to listen and to give her the respect that accepted our relationship, and enjoyed an honest response implied. it, one approach that definitely did not work was pontification or preaching. The Net Gains On very few occasions, since I learned Lessons in the Process my lessons quickly, I tried to share what o, to recap, these are some of I thought was an inspiring d’var Torah the areas in which I’ve grown (or espite her issues, there was much with Nechama. Her eyes glazed, she Sshould have), thanks to Nechama to compliment, and I tried to became intensely bored very suddenly, – time management, involving my fam- Dsprinkle my listening with as and it was evident that this approach was ily in chessed, learning to listen and many subtle compliments as possible a bit too direct. But the indirect approach, compliment, understanding my own – not too overt or forced, but genuine of simply being an honest, loving friend children better, recognizing the relative compliments: About her shopping smarts whose own family was imperfect but ineffectiveness of direct mussar, learning (that was more in the beginning), her happy, did work. I was stunned when one to conduct my own observance more street smarts, her intuition, and eventu- day, a few years after I began mentoring consistently, gaining patience, and the ally, about her willingness to lay down her, we were discussing her future family, ability to surmount challenges…. Most her self-absorption and really work on and she talked about how idyllic my life important, though, I’ve learned to love her character. This conscious attempt to seemed to her. her. When we first met, I wasn’t sure how make her feel respected was great practice I could possibly relate to a very material- for me for my own children. This had a istic girl– as I dimwittedly and simplisti- bonus benefit for me: I learned to polish Not an Overnight Process cally saw her at the very beginning. But my ayin tova (generous eye) by seeking just like each child expands one’s under- the good in her… there was, indeed, er evolution into a true bas standing of and connection to different much of it. Hopefully I can apply that Yisroel, with a deep understand- types of people, so did Nechama expand to my other fellow Jews. Hing and appreciation of people, my outlook. Despite our differences, we I also garnished some tips about what was something to behold. It was slow in came to love each other and appreciate NOT to do with my own children. For coming, and many factors other than the breadth of each other’s personalities. example, she once complained about her the mentoring, including wonderful, If I can take that love and appreciation mother’s seemingly interminable phone involved teachers, family, seminary expe- and bring them to my relationships with calls to her, undoubtedly due to her rience, and time, intertwined to help all my fellow Jews, then I indeed will have mother’s desperate need to connect with her flower. Still, it was not an overnight gained beyond measure. d

21 One PTheerso nJewish Can Ma keObserver the Difference

Marsha Smagley A Flower That Bloomed in Brooklyn

A Tribute to Esther, My Partner in Torah

sther Solomon was my partner Torah program when Esther called style of living Torah in all that she did in Torah for four years. She was me from the predominantly obser- became my inspiration. Etragically hit by a car Erev Shabbos vant community of Flatbush. I lived (June 30/4 Tamuz) on a street near her in Highland Park, Illinois, a largely home in Flatbush, Brooklyn, and died. secular Jewish community. Esther, Pesach in Brooklyn: She was only fifty-nine years old, and speaking with an authentic New York Bringing New Meaning had just celebrated her thirty-second accent, disseminated beautiful lessons to Welcoming Guests wedding anniversary with her husband, in Hebrew and tefilla (prayer), while Nosson. This article is a tribute to my personifying eternal lessons in living s the holiday of Pesach partner in Torah, my dear friend, Esther, Torah. approached during our first year aleha hashalom. As a ba’alas teshuva of seven years Aof learning, Esther invited me Esther caused each soul that she with a deep desire to discover my Jewish and my family to stay with her family touched to bloom. I was fortunate to heritage, I asked Esther so many, many for Pesach. I asked her if she wanted us be one of those whom she touched. questions. There was so much I needed to come for the beginning or the end Esther was carrying flowers, which she to learn. I was most impressed with her of the holiday. In her direct manner of had just gone out to buy for Shabbos, breadth of knowledge and kind patience. speaking, she asked why we should have when she was hit by the car. When I told Although I only heard a voice over a to change over our home for Pesach and my nine-year-old daughter that Esther telephone, her words painted a picture also pack up to travel. She insisted that had died, she declared that Esther went of what she truly was, a strong woman we stay for the entire Pesach. straight to Gan Eden, while carrying who loved to bring Torah into her home I did not think that I heard her cor- flowers for Shabbos. and into mine. rectly and asked her to repeat her offer. We began to learn Torah over the As I was not raised in an observant I could not believe that she wished to telephone through the Partners in home, I needed words of inspiration to invite me, a woman she had only met forge the conviction to change my entire on the telephone, my husband, and at Marsha Smagley resides in Highland Park, life to come to Torah. Not Esther. She that time, my six-year-old daughter and Illinois, with her husband and two children. was raised with Torah and exemplified twelve-year-old son, to stay with her She has devoted the last seven years to study- the strength and clarity of living each family for ten days. As a newcomer to ing Torah, becoming observant, guiding her moment to do what we as Jewish people Torah, I was touched by the beauty of family in Torah life, and recently, writing articles that convey her heartfelt journey were created to do – to serve G-d and to observant living, where families would to Torah. Her\ “To Touch a Stone, To Find a shine forth His light. Esther illuminated invite strangers to stay for Shabbos and Heart” appeared in JO, June ’06. her teachings with light. Her practical holidays; yet, I sensed that her offer went

29 O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6

far beyond the mitzvah of hachnasas on an adventure in Yiddishkeit, hosted could see that although she was small orchim (welcoming guests). I was to by the friendly Solomons. How could physically, she was a giant, spiritually. soon learn that Esther embraced this we have possibly known that this I felt comfortable from that very first mitzvah with every part of her being. Pesach visit would result in changing meeting, as did my family. My family agreed to come to our lives forever? As we had arrived in New York on the Flatbush. I had never been to Flatbush. Esther appeared nothing like I had night before Pesach, we went with her The name even sounded strange to me, imagined her to look. Her strong voice family to an Italian kosher restaurant, and Brooklyn seemed like a world of portrayed a picture of a tall, large each of us yearning to consume his last its own. Although my husband, at that woman. Esther looked nothing like morsels of pasta and bread. Her hus- point, was not ready to change his life that. She was short in physical size, band, Nosson, was extremely kind. Her to one of Torah, he was raised in New and as she was finishing her Pesach teenaged daughter, Chavi, and her two York, and loved the idea of spending preparations, was dressed comfortably, sons who lived at home, Moshe Chaim time in his native city with a nice fam- wearing a baseball cap. She greeted me and Yehoshua, who were both in their ily. We booked our flights, embarking with a huge smile and a warm hug. I twenties, were equally welcoming. We later met her married son, Avraham, and his wife, Leah, and Esther’s young granddaughter, Michal. Hashem not only gave us the gift of Esther, He also gave us the gift of becoming part of her save beautiful family. up to $49 off thethe covercover priceprice ofof TheThe JewishJewish ObserverObserver My Guide into “Living” Torah Why not give or get a present that will last an entire year? had begun to learn Torah a little while before I met Esther. Torah Itranscended my secular world. Each precious word of Torah that I read gave Subscribe, or give a gift at these reduced me a glimpse into an entirely new world, prices: as much as 40% off the newsstand into an entirely new reality: G-d’s real- price; the longer your subscription, the greater your savings. You and your family will benefit from the ity. There are no words to describe the many articles of information and inspira- enormity of the gift of Torah, which I Each month, The Jewish Observer will tion that they cannot get anywhere else. pray will transform the lives of my fam- arrive at your door, filled with the views of leading Torah thinkers on current Of course, this offer is unconditionally ily and its future generations. issues...analyses of Jewish events, focus on guaranteed; you may cancel at any time With help from Shamayim (Heaven), burning issues, inside reporting, interpretive and receive a full refund for all undeliv- I had been trying to lead my family commentary, uplifting biographies, infuri- ered copies, no questions asked. ating letters and illuminating responses — towards observance. During that first all within the covers of one magazine, So order today, and the very next issue will year, we had transferred our children The Jewish Observer. be on its way to you as soon as possible. from public school to an Orthodox school. It is a daunting task to change worlds, to shed all that you have learned Subscription Discount Certificate to be true and to start life anew. This is especially difficult after being mar- 42 Broadway / New York, NY 10004 • Phone 212-797-7394 • Fax 646-254-1600 ried for a long time and already having MONEY BACK GUARANTEE children. Please enter ❒ my subscription ❒ my gift If for any reason at any time you are not satisfied, YES! you may cancel your subscription and receive a I wished to make our home into USA ONLY OUTSIDE USA* full refund on all unmailed issues. ❒ 3 years Your cost – $69 $114 You save up to $49! ❒ Enclosed: $______or ❒ Charge my MasterCard/VISA a place where Hashem could dwell; I ❒ 2 years Your cost – $48 $78 You save up to $31! CARD NO. wished to learn how to be able to live ❒ 1 year Your cost – $25 $40 You save up to $14! Torah. It was Esther and her amazing EXPIRATION DATE 3 DIGIT CODE family that gave my family the oppor- NAME (MONTH) (YEAR) SIGNATURE *Foreign price reflects $15 extra per year to defray air shipping tunity to experience Torah living. This ADDRESS costs. Foreign payment must be made in U.S. dollars, either by check drawn on a bank in the U.S.A. or by VISA or MasterCard. happened while we shared meals in their CITY, STATE, ZIP TheThe Jewish Jewish ObserverObserver is publisedpublished monthly, monthly, except July and August.August, and a double issue for January/February. home, davened together, and walked down the many avenues of Flatbush.

30 The Jewish Observer

It was overwhelming at first to be Pesach, and we did. Esther’s mother, How Do You Pronounce immersed into Torah living within this Mrs. Chaya Klein-Weinreb, affection- “Frum”? huge observant community. I remember ately called “Bubby,” joined us for the walking with Esther in her neighbor- end of the holiday. We instantly loved I loved to sit at the Solomons’ holiday hood, sighting in the distant horizon her. After meeting Bubby, I could under- table and join in this rich family heri- what appeared to be armies of men stand where Esther gained her ability to tage, filled with song and divrei Torah, dressed in black and white, wearing so generously give without complaint. words of Torah. I had never experienced black hats, walking towards us. I had As Pesach was drawing to a close, and this before; it was so beautiful. One time never seen anything like this before. I the ability to eat chometz was near, Esther at the table, Esther proclaimed that I did must admit I was a bit scared. decided to make homemade blintzes. not pronounce the word “frum” (piously As these armies came closer to us, to Bubby, with a knowing grin on her face, observant) properly. She then illustrated my relief, I could see that it was actually lovingly said that only Esther would start how to say it. I thought I had correctly Orthodox men joined by their wives and making blintzes when Pesach was ending. repeated this word, but not according children, many pushing strollers carrying They tasted heavenly. to Esther. She then gave me words that more little children, all warmly greeting us with a “Good Yontif.” Esther, with a big smile on her face, speaking with her strong voice, kindly greeted each person Traveling to Israel? and introduced me to all she knew, which  seemed to be everyone.    Esther, with her immense ahavas  habriyos (love of people), became my    guide into her world of Torah. With    Esther at my side, the men dressed in  black and white no longer appeared to lowest be part of a military army, but rather Rent a cell phone with the part of the army of Hashem, clothed rates & best service worldwide...FREE in an outer uniform that revealed their incoming calls in Israel & many other deep inner devotion to Torah. I began to countries! feel much comfort in their presence and

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sther was an extraordinary cook. I believe this greatly impacted Eon my family’s desire to become observant. I have tried each Shabbos to recreate her dishes, and I just cannot. Without reading a cookbook, she conjured up such delicious culinary delights that we did not even realize that we had finished the Pesach Seder at 2:00 a.m.! I remember my then-six-year-old daughter lining up just before midnight to fill her plate with scrumptious roasted chicken. Just the smell alone of Esther’s food helped us to continue to consume the many pieces of shemura matza with hoards of romaine lettuce. Esther invited us to stay with her family again the following year for

31 O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6

rhymed with “frum,” saying that it was a cross between “room” and “from.” I still NOW YOU CAN could not say it. Everyone then joined in with words to help me pronounce PUT THE SPARK BACK this word, including my children, but IN YOUR INSURANCE. to no avail. I recently shared this “frum” table memory with Esther. I had no idea that Call me today to hear about these new this would be the last time that we would optional features: New Car Replacement, ever speak. This experience had inspired Accident Forgiveness and Deductible Rewards. me to wish to write a future article (718) 268-1700 entitled “How Could I Have Become So ‘Frum,’ If I Could Not Even Say the Word ‘Frum’?” She burst out laughing, the kind of laugh that conveyed a special connection between friends, one that comes from a significant sharing of Martin Levy lives. Even though I still cannot cor- 103-20 METROPOLITAN AVENUE rectly pronounce the word, Esther truly FOREST HILLS inspired me to become “frum.” [email protected]

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Feature is optional and subject to terms and conditions. Available in select states now and in most states by 1/31/06 (subject to regulatory approval where required). Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, IL. ©2005 Allstate Insurance he Solomons never made us feel Company bad about all that we did not Tknow; instead, they caused us to feel that they were actually learning from us. They conveyed that it was my family that was giving to them, that we were bringing exciting new life to their Pesach celebration. This could be seen through the light in their eyes, the joy in their faces, and the thrill in their voices as they answered our many questions. They influenced us most, not by preaching observance, but simply by being a nice family that just naturally lived Torah in their low-key way. They also expressed a true caring for us in everything they did, and it was clear that our lives really mattered to them. This caring gave us the needed support and courage to transform our lives. I remember how bentching Grace After Meals had seemed so daunting to me. I wished to recite this prayer in Hebrew, determined not to miss a single word. As I had learned Hebrew many years before in Hebrew school, it took me forever to finish it. I would still be bentching long after everyone, including my family, had left the table. Esther took notice of this, and urged

32 The Jewish Observer

me to sing this prayer; she said that My husband, for the first time in his Esther, the Morning Star she did not want me to be left behind life, wore a kipa each day during our my family. Although even now, I am first Pesach stay. He became comfort- ing David, in Psalm 22, pays still the last one to finish bentching at able enough wearing the kipa that he tribute to Queen Esther, refer- our table, Esther’s teaching me to sing continued to wear one after he returned Kring to her as Ayelles Hashachar, my praises to Hashem has ensured that home, even at work in a secular com- the morning star. The personality of I am not left behind. pany. It simply did not make sense to Queen Esther represents the slow dawn- Nosson thoughtfully spent much him anymore not to have a kipa on his ing of the light of the Jews who were time with my husband, researching head just because the holiday was over. engulfed in the darkness of exile. Esther and answering his questions in a way It was the action of wearing a kipa that is derived from “Istahar,” a very bright that appealed to his reasoning. My helped my husband move from obser- star (ArtScroll Psalms, Yalkut Shimoni husband recalls that one rainy Shabbos vance only during the holidays, which – Megillas Esther 1053). day, while walking together to shul, he he was accustomed to as a secular Jew, Esther, as her name illuminates, was asked Nosson why we cannot carry an to eventually incorporating Torah into blessed with the ability to shine forth her umbrella on Shabbos. It did not make his daily life. bright light throughout her entire life, sense to my husband to think that G-d Only one month after spending that a light that caused all the souls that she would want us to get soaked while walk- first Pesach at the Solomons, at age touched to bloom. This world is now missing to shul to daven. forty-five, my husband suffered a heart ing Esther, who brought so much light to Nosson explained the reasons why, attack. Fortunately, he came through in my family. I will forever miss Esther, my and then used an example from the excellent health, which I cannot help but partner in Torah, and my dear friend, the business world, which my husband, who believe was from the merit of observ- special soul that left this world carrying works as a Chief Financial Officer, could ing Pesach with the Solomons, along Shabbos flowers to Gan Eden. relate to. Nosson asked my husband, with his growing observance, which I pray that Moshiach will come “Would your father want you to correct followed. speedily, bringing us shalom (peace). a fraudulent situation at work even if it Esther and her family, in all that May each precious Jewish neshama meant losing your job?” they did, became an eternal part of my (soul) cause a rose to bloom within My husband responded, “Of course family’s journey to Torah. We appre- the thorns of this long and bitter galus he would want me to do the right thing.” ciated learning from them, and they (exile), and may we no longer feel its This was a turning point for my hus- appreciated seeing Torah through our sadness and pain. May we all merit band. It helped him to understand that eyes – eyes which they helped to open to becoming a shining star, an emissary even if there are short-term, negative see into Hashem’s world. Our journeys of Hashem’s exquisite light. consequences, we must choose to do to come closer to our Creator became May this tribute serve as a merit for what is “right,” which is always to trust one, and together, we experienced true the elevation of the neshama of Esther and to follow Hashem’s will. achdus (unity). bas Avraham. d

Yossi Huttler

every day I turn Daf Hayomi a page another appears before me – D’var Yom Be’yomo a day’s distance away

some days, getting ahead of everyone else and myself shorter of breath running parchment-skin unsteady hands I keep turning learning praying that the coming days but these are the rules: can today be squirreled away too a page a day no guarantees beyond today and its daf Yossi Huttler, who lives in Staten Island, NY, is an attorney and an oral historian, having conducted over 120 interviews of survivors of Churban Europe for the Shoah Foundation.