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Pretty Princess Day Rebecca Dietsch __________________Cast of Characters _________CHRISTINA: hopelessly in love with Michael, bridesmaid of Heather ____GREY: head of catering, has a crush on Heather. _______MICHAEL: ex-groom. ______TAYLOR: best friend of Heather. Loyal, steadfast, hates Michael _______HEATHER: bride. 1. SCENE_______ 1 HEATHER'S apartment. HEATHER is putting things in a box for MICHAEL. MICHAEL I can't remember which forks were yours. HEATHER Yeah, they're all kind of just silver. You can take them all. MICHAEL What am I going to do with forty forks? HEATHER I can donate them? MICHAEL You need some forks. HEATHER I still have the blue set from the shower. MICHAEL Heather, you have to return those. HEATHER Um- MICHAEL You have to send back all the gifts. HEATHER I hear you. MICHAEL I can do it, if that's easier. HEATHER No need. MICHAEL Right. I think that's the last of it. Thanks for letting me take the futon. HEATHER I'm going to redecorate anyways. The old furniture didn't really go. Oh wait. She hands him a ring box. Created using Celtx 2. MICHAEL Keep that. HEATHER I don't really want to. MICHAEL You could sell it. HEATHER I don't really want to go to different pawn shops trying to sell an old engagement ring. MICHAEL The internet? HEATHER That's a depressing listing to write. MICHAEL I can sell it and send you a check. HEATHER No thanks. MICHAEL You want to get lunch or something? HEATHER I have to see Grey. MICHAEL The color? HEATHER The caterer. MICHAEL Oh, right. Let me know how much the deposits were. I'll reimburse you. HEATHER That's not necessary. MICHAEL Please. I feel really bad about this and I'd like to do something to make this right. HEATHER You're trying to pay me off. Created using Celtx 3. MICHAEL No, just, I know you spent a lot on the florist, the dress, the dj, I don't want you in debt over this. HEATHER I'll be fine. MICHAEL Will any of the vendors give you your deposit back? HEATHER I didn't ask. MICHAEL Do you want me to call? HEATHER No. MICHAEL They probably do partial refunds. HEATHER I don't need a refund. Can you leave now? MICHAEL What? HEATHER You have your forks, you have your futon, I think you should go now. MICHAEL Why are you--? HEATHER I just don't want an argument right now. MICHAEL We're not arguing, I asked you a question and you started to be weird. HEATHER We're on the path to an argument, so I'd rather just quit while we're ahead. MICHAEL I don't know why we can't just talk without it being an argument. Created using Celtx 4. HEATHER I don't know either, but I know from experience we can't so let's not. MICHAEL If you don't want to see if the vendors can refund the deposit, I will. HEATHER You can't. MICHAEL I can't or you don't want me to? HEATHER I'm still using their services, so you can't ask for deposits back. MICHAEL What do you mean you're still using their services? HEATHER I'm still hiring them. MICHAEL What are you going to do with three hundred cupcakes? HEATHER Eat some, share some. Listen, I have to get going. MICHAEL So, you're not canceling the catering? HEATHER No. MICHAEL Why do you need to meet with the caterer then? HEATHER Because I only got the charcuterie board because you like charcuterie, but since you're not going to the wedding anymore, I'm going to ask Grey to switch to the sage and lemon croquettes I originally wanted. MICHAEL Switch to the croquettes? There's not a wedding anymore. HEATHER Yes there is, you're just not part of it. Created using Celtx 5. MICHAEL What do you mean? HEATHER Can you just go now? MICHAEL What do you mean there's a wedding? HEATHER I didn't cancel it. MICHAEL We called it off. HEATHER You called it off, I didn't. There's still a wedding. MICHAEL There is? HEATHER There is. I'm marrying myself. MICHAEL What? HEATHER It's more of a symbolic ceremony than legal paperwork type wedding. MICHAEL What does that mean? HEATHER You're not going to get it. MICHAEL Can you explain instead of just assuming I won't get it? HEATHER It's a wedding but with just me. I still stand up in front of my friends and family, but instead of making a vow to you, I make it to myself. MICHAEL Why? HEATHER Same reason people have regular weddings. Saying the Created using Celtx 6. words aloud, creates an entire room full of accountability partners. MICHAEL You shouldn't need accountability partners to be nice to yourself. HEATHER You could say that about any wedding. You shouldn't have to make a formal vow to take care of a sick partner, but it's meaningful to say it aloud. MICHAEL I guess I don't get regular weddings either. HEATHER Can you leave now? MICHAEL I kind of thought our final goodbye might be a little more important than which amuse bouche you serve at your party. HEATHER Don't call my wedding a party. MICHAEL Heather, let's talk about this. HEATHER No, I don't want to talk anymore. I want you to leave. MICHAEL People, people aren't going to be nice to you about this. HEATHER Your side isn't coming, just my friends. MICHAEL People are going to say you're a crazy bridezilla. HEATHER No, they're not, they're going to enjoy the open bar and the matcha cupcakes and it'll be a good time. MICHAEL You changed the cupcake flavor? Created using Celtx 7. HEATHER Chocolate is boring. MICHAEL When did you decide on this? HEATHER While you were breaking up with me. MICHAEL So, when I was expressing thoughts and feelings over the last ten years, you were thinking about the dessert bar? HEATHER I feel like this is devolving into argument territory. If you're not going to go, I will. Lock up when you're done. (She tosses a key to him and exits. MICHAEL takes out a phone. He waits a while and then gets voicemail). MICHAEL Hey Chris, it's Michael, call me when you land. I'd like to meet up if you're not too jet-lagged. Scene_______ 2 TAYLOR and GREY are looking over clipboards in the catering hall. TAYLOR Okay, so if we take out Michael, his parents, his four groomsmen, their dates, his grandparents, his four cousins, his boss, that's sixteen less guests, they're $75 a head right? GREY Giving an extra $1,200 in the budget for the bar. TAYLOR Perfect. GREY Now originally, Heather and the groom had a sweetheart table. TAYLOR Nix that. Created using Celtx 8. GREY Where do we seat Heather? With bridesmaids or family? TAYLOR Do the round tables seat 6 or 8? GREY We went with the 6's since we over-ordered on centerpieces. TAYLOR Let me check on how many bridesmaids are bringing plus-ones. GREY is making notes. TAYLOR takes out her phone. TAYLOR Heather's on her way, she's bringing over new table cloth options. GREY Cool. He is visibly pleased. TAYLOR Did you ever meet Michael? GREY The groom? TAYLOR Ex-groom. GREY Umm, he might've come along to the menu tasting, I can't remember. TAYLOR Yes, you do. You're just trying to be professional and not shit-talk right now. GREY gives her a tight-lipped look. TAYLOR Blink twice for he was on his phone the whole time. GREY returns to his notes. Created using Celtx 9. TAYLOR They're not getting back together. I checked, rechecked, triple-checked they're really done this time. GREY Were they on and off? TAYLOR They took a break in high school, but then they went to the same college and somehow slid back together. GREY How do you know they're for sure done? TAYLOR Well, the first break-up happened too soon, it was like a kitten being run over, it was new and springy, so she was sad about it, but this break-up was more like putting down a really decrepit old street cat, like it should've happened a long time ago, so she's like sorry, but more relieved. GREY So you're happy that things ended? TAYLOR No, I'm furious. GREY Oh. TAYLOR I'm glad they're done because he's terrible. But it was supposed to go differently. GREY Her leaving him? TAYLOR Yes. GREY Why didn't she? TAYLOR Well, it's kind of my fault. GREY How so? Created using Celtx 10. TAYLOR Heather can be a little stubborn. And I think me calling him a wet blanket every day made her date him even harder. HEATHER enters. TAYLOR jumps her with a bear- hug. HEATHER Hi-Taylor, I'm good, I'm good. TAYLOR releases her. HEATHER Hi Grey. GREY Hi Heather. HEATHER Sorry, I'm late, just got off the phone with my mom. TAYLOR What'd she say? HEATHER Celery and lilac. TAYLOR What? HEATHER The table cloths. TAYLOR No, about you marrying yourself. HEATHER Oh, Michael and I agreed to wait until the 11th so we tell everyone at the same time.
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