Weekender, August 14, 2021

SATURDAY, AUGUST 14, 2021 THE TEEN BRAIN New Zealand neuroscience educator and child development expert Nathan Wallis was in Gisborne to share tips with parents and educators on how to interact with the teenage brain. Reporter Akula Sharma went along to Gisborne Boys’ High School to hear him. eing a parent is all about eff ective “I think if we get rid of the stigma natural part of being a human. good decision makers, they have to practise communication, Nathan Wallis surrounding mental health, every parent “To know how to deal with that, how to making decisions. We see the kids who get explained to a capacity crowd at will benefi t from understanding how their respond to that, how to make your children the best outcome come from what we call BBoys’ High earlier this week. teenager’s brain works. Even the parents more resilient, I think that’s really what the backbone style of parenting.” “ e teenage brain is unique so knowing who’ve got the robust resilient teenager, are parents want.” Mr Wallis talked about three types of how to communicate with that brain is what still going to enjoy those years a whole lot Mr Wallis said when he talked about parenting — brick wall (be quiet and do the workshop is about,” he said. more if they understand what’s going on and understanding teenage brain he looked at as you are told), jelly fi sh (let’s just try and Neuroscience and mental health were co- have a better way of communicating with the eff ects of alcohol and drugs. be friends, few boundaries) and backbone relatd in teenagers. their teenager. He said parents wanted to put their (fl exible like a backbone but still gives “When we talk about mental illness we “So I think, mental health is just a part of children at least risk as possible. Most tried structure) mostly talk about anxiety and depression. the spectrum. to protect their child and make decisions for e fact that teenage brains don’t work We have an epidemic of that, and parents “Anxiety and depression is something kids them, “which causes more harm than good”. as adults understand it, was what made it need to know how to respond. are going to experience a lot because it’s a “If you want your children to become Continued on page 2 News year’s resolution? Home Keep Subscribe delivered or informed... today read online 41652-01 Call us on 869 0620 or email [email protected] or visit www.gisborneherald.co.nz 2 THE GISBORNE HERALD LEAD ‘It’s all about role modelling’ From page 1 earlier during the first thousand days when you build their brain. You’ve got until 11 frustrating for parents. years of age to influence their character and “You have four brains inside your head. values. After that you just have to live with The top brain, number four (frontal cortex) them. controls the executive functions, all the “Don’t make it difficult by trying to put things such as controlling your emotions, in place a work ethic, and fight the natural seeing things from other people’s point process of adolescence. Focus on the quality of view, being rational, remembering of the relationship and all will fall into your PE gear and lunch, all of those good place.” behaviours. Basically that brain shuts down Mr Wallis said all children were neuro- for renovations, around about the middle of diverse, it was a part of being a human. adolescence. Instead of labelling children based on where “Your nine year old controls their they fell on “the spectrum”, parents must emotions better than the 16 year old. Nine encourage their child’s potential. year olds don’t have an adult brain but their “That spectrum is a human spectrum, it’s frontal cortex hasn’t shut for renovations relevant to all of us. If you’re at an extreme yet, whereas the 16 year old’s cortex is end of it you might call it autism but it shut for 90 percent of the time, hence their doesn’t mean the spectrum is irrelvant to emotions are left to soar. the person who doesn’t have autism. It’s still “That’s a reason why teenagers have relevant to you because it’s a human trait, massive rates of anxiety, depression, and Mr Wallis said he had ADHD (Attention suicide, because the brakes are on their deficit hyperactivity disorder) which meant frontal cortex. he was “neuro-atypical”. Mr Wallis said the shut down happened “I have never seen it as a disability. For me for the brain to rewire itself for maturation it’s a superpower. I know how to manage it which takes three years. But if the brain as an adult. doesn’t “shut down” it could take up to 40 “There was a problem at school when I was years. expected to be quiet, stay still, sit in a class “During this time, teenagers are immersed with 30 other people and just do as I was in their emotional brain, which is primarily told. It didn’t work very well with ADHD concerned with how things which made it hard for me feel, not with how things Don’t make it to manage it. actually are, or how you “I often say to people with think.” difficult by trying to ADHD, it is up to them to Mr Wallis said a lot of put in place a work make it a superpower or a parents assumed there was a ethic, and fight the disability through self- trick to have a teenage child control. If the child has listen to them. But it’s all natural process of self-control, then ADHD is a superpower.” about role modelling. adolescence. Focus CommuniCation key: Neuroscience educator and child development expert Nathan “If you’re constantly telling Mr Wallis said the Wallis was in Gisborne this week to deliver a workshop at Boys’ High on the teenage them what they should be on the quality of the workshop at Boys’ High brain. Picture supplied. doing, then they’ll think relationship and all was as much for educators you’re nagging them. — for its academic value you’ve got skinny legs”, then you’re not your nurturing to motivate them to study. “If you want your children will fall into place. and practical skills when listening to them. “There’s no way you can make them do it if to listen to you, then you’ve interacting with teenagers Instead say, “I know it might feel like they are not going to.” got to listen to them, children do as you do, — as for parents. you’ve got fat legs honey. We all have days not as you say.” “I think they’ll get pretty much the same where we feel bloated but honestly, you’ve ■ Whether or not one is controlling the Mr Wallis said talking to your children thing that parents will get because in lots of got beautiful legs, you’re a size 10, your legs child depends on the situation. about the use of drugs and alcohol could be ways teachers are being their parent during are perfectly fine”. There is more chance “Sometimes it can make the person feel difficult if clear boundaries are not set. the day (six hours). It all goes down to they’ll listen to your acknowledgement and incompetent when mum takes over and “It’s about having your children’s respect in communication. the defensive reaction stops. only mum can do it so the underlying a non-abusive and non-violent way. Mr Wallis said many people had message there is ‘I am useless, only Mum’s “If it’s not OK to put your wife in time out, contacted him on social media, asking him ■ If you want your teenager to listen to competent, I am incompetent’, it’s not OK to put your child in time out. to come to Gisborne. 30 seconds of your cortex, spend about 60 “Whereas a person in a trauma situation “Put clear boundaries in place, with seconds reflecting back on their emotions. and under stress — maybe they’ve just had support.” TIPS ON THE TEEN BRAIN Focus entirely on the emotion, and not on a car accident — and mum jumps in and Mr Wallis told the audience about a New correcting anything else. Then the child feels sorts that out for him, that can be a loving Year’s eve in Wanaka, “when everyone was ■ Negotiate with your child. Instead of heard and when your child feels heard there nurturing thing for a mother to do.” getting drunk” saying, “be home by eight” and he doesn’t is way more chance that they’re going to Mr Wallis said this depends on the “My son (14-15 years of age) went out have to make any decision, say, “what do listen to your advice. relationship between the two and it can with his mates, and he didn’t even ask me you think is an appropriate time for you go either way. “Does the person on the to get alcohol because he just knew, that to be home”. If it’s a Friday night he might ■ Parents can’t force studying or any other receiving end feel loved and supported?” there would not be a consideration from me say 10pm, then you can say, “Don’t be action on their children or teenagers. All because he knew those boundaries. ridiculous, 7pm”, now you negotiate for a they can do is nurture.

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