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Fall 12-14-1984 Maine Campus December 14 1984 Maine Campus Staff

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a profitable business to Phoenix is con- lp Tose alleviate the ion personal debt. Specter, R-Pa., said aug ner Pete Rozelle told mo3 sat he had convened a s on Thesday, spurred XCV no. LXIX nat »nix shr,nagewin terslautz onctlf3 la sailirk "ko iktirrwin nation. Friday, December 14, 1984 >zelle said specifically nt the Eagles to leave nation's fifth largest ci- ling television market. Former supmaCeditor he players and coaches

ig to everyone involv- rback Ron Jaworski, to run for GSC top spot less interests in the by James Simple quel titled "All the Editor's , administrative assis- Staph Writer Hacks." 'arion Campbell, said, The story, Statutes said, is ling other than shock, about how all the people at nIderment. I haven't The General Student Cir- final, but where there's cus will hold elections in the supmaC eniaM know the February and a high ranking insides and outs of the Stu- official in the GSC said that dent Circus and when he and soon-to-be-former supmaC Hormone are elected, infor- emaM Editor Michael Hor- mational leaks will be sent to ion mone will run for president. the paper. The GSC official, who Stream Witz,e, GSC presi- >od name and reputa- spoke only if granted dent said, "If Hormone is severe emotional elected I'll become a reporter :usations, false arrest, anonymity, said, "Hormone under and deprivations is going to run and he has the for the paper and report :onstitutional rights." election rigged." The of- responsibly, objectively and has suffered lost wages ficial said, "He owns professionally. is inability to earn box- everybody in the GSC and if "I know I can be objec- 1967-1970, the years he he's not elected he said that tive," Witze said. "I've ed to fight by state he would publish all the filth proven that before as student - ms after the 'ABA ac- that's fit to print." circus president." >ortunity for commer- Hormone said he's excited as endorsements., ap- Hormone said, "I own stimonials. Boss Roriamty with his little furry friends that he plans to introduce into UMO those guys in the GSC. If about the election and thinks dormitories starting next semester.(file photo) they ever want to hold Statutes will make an District Attorney Royce outstanding circus leader. ef of the civil division, political office in the real !nt had not received the world they'd better elect me "Hack is a very good writer, lot comment on it. in February or it's over ... I've although he's never written Rats to got enough on those goons for Newsspeak, and will lead be introduced to lock them away for SGC with soft words and a years." large pencil." to dorms next Hormone said that after Statutes said, "Even if semester the news- breaking story "All elected, I would like to cover the President's Minions" he the GSC for the paper." by Won Lintball Roriamty said the rodents will and Hack Statutes plan a se- Staph Writer only be in the dorms next semester because, "there just isn't The director of Residual Strife enough of them to go around." said Thursday that rodents will be The rats are expected to multip- commonplace in all dorms next ly quickly and Roriamty said he semester. hopes to have enough for off- Boss Roriamty said he has campus students by the fall. grown quite fond of rodents and "I think most of the university thinks they will be welcome in community is behind me on this • dormitories in the spring. 100 percent," Roriamty said. ••••••••••••••••■•••• "Rats are wonderful Spam Yurspank, a sophomore creatures," Roriamty said, said she would leave UMO im- lave "They have personalities all their mediately if rats are allowed in the to own and they don't cost much to dorms. feed." "Yuck," she said. Roriamty said most students UMO president Arte Johnson will adapt very quickly to the said he didn't like the rodent idea. rodents and said the dorms will be "I think the whole thing will perfect for the rats. reflect badly on the university," "I've seen some of those he said. rooms," he said, "Rodents Roriamty, however, refuses to try Berry Micki Pig has taken the place of Patty Rink, would feel right at home." Staub Writer fink as his beloved housemate. give up on his plan and said, "I Hormone is sad to be Ernest Vulgar, an off-campus leaving his post plan to go before the Bored of Soo•-to-be-former-FAlitor Michael P. as editor of the daily rag at UMO, but o convoision basis and journalism student said it was un- Mustees and get some funding for Hormone is seen beginning his new he is looking forward to a full recovery orpotionc• by soiling fair that the university is pro- the project," he said. regimes of whirlpool therapy in the and will soon be starring in the next r Nye Moo.Gamin.. viding rats for only on-campus Roriamty is keeping the rats in UMO's Wallace Pool. Hormone suffered Clint Eastwood movie as a Magnum 44. foot when he was is,bog nato must students. boxes a severely broken Hormone's prologe, Donald LInsnott, nmilad. now for thos• in the basement of Smells out of a plane. "I pay tuition here," Vulgar thrown win be taking over the whips and reins ire Campus in the Dining Commons until the HOMOIN, who has been et UMO for down IN the bowels of Lord Hall. How's said, "I deserve rats as much as students leave for break. two, three, maybe seen. Yea., is pictured the water, Hormone? any other student." her, with Ms mew roomate. Miss Pricilla 2 pusmaC make ehr. Friday. December 14. 1984 Scientist develops serumiSkydiving:a sport that's Dispc to counteract killer fartsitip and coming fast solve • r by Grub Kilo by Run Slavriel "After perfecting the muscle 41 ,Staph _Writer Staph Writer control needed to accurately * release one of our killer fahts, the Associate A In a shocking discovery agent's job is simple," Sphinc- ecutiveMaster Wednesday. a Downeastscientist ter said. "He need only time the .4 vocate Gromme developed a serum that when con- expulsion and run." # nounced dispos sumed produces toxic human gas. The government is carefully it used to solve thi problem. officials said. guarding the chemical formula "Soft, foam r Peter P. Sphincter, doctor of for the serum in an attempt to answer," Mo lower anatomy, said the serum, in deter its release to the mass "We'll give off the development stages for several market, he said. (humans) mass. months, was finally perfected in -They want to avoid com- cars' for the dai his home near midnight. and is plaints from the Better Business their sleazy, u now smelling tar pai being tested for use as a Bureau purporting that con- Mosquito sai potential military weapon. sumers are dying in their own of flimsy tin foi "Essentially what we have here stench." he said. "It would be elastics, will be i is the capability to kill with our too easy for someone to take a sip from a hi-teel butts:* Sphincter said. "A sim- of the serum and then an hour Memorial Unit ple sniff of a sentm.tainted fain later walk up to their enemy designed to and whereupon th leads to a break down of the vic- faht in his face," discard them ft tim's nervous system." The government is now for "In this way:. - The armed services a ng.a training program—W ed, "the crack •* by Savannah Duneavon pressed interest- in buying the agents who will be using the crews will just bt Staph Writer serum for military use, primarily serum. Sphincter said. They will in a big pile .. them on fire." in secret operations, he said. be expected to learn the strategies Skydiving, or jumping out of The students , Agents wishing to assassinate involved in effective fart place- # airplanes, is an up and coming new cars, so di leaders of foreign governments ment, and must also master tim- "This way, th •sport. need only. to get within smelling ing and wind current be empty and I • In order to jump out an distance of their target before in- considerations. of them during n airplane, you first have visibly expelling the small amount • "An agent. after _expelling a to make Mosquito grudg * sure you have a strong. he made an obs, of gas necessary to eliminate particularly ripe faht, could in ef- stomach. If jumping off a diving a Lewiston dist them, he said. fect destroy himself if the room he board in- f•-•-• is in has to a pool makes you sick, then this NIMY WORSHIP liniited Nentilation, ne said. * sport is not for you. r. Ram. Memorm1 nem • Then you find a place nearby Leak Mum& m mearte. Bartholomew Burper. secret it that offers skydiving. Call them iSee FARTS page 41 nre Ma a • * up and find out how +11+ much they mar be a little afraid), but ORONO — Total Look * charge for lessons (you won't want because the harness that holds the frightened peop * to do this cold turkey). Then ask parachute pack on, is cutting in- cars and airpla and * how much they charge Christmas Carols anti for chute to your crotch. (To be effective, odus Thursday Merle Norman •* rental (you won't be Tree Lighting. 6:30 p.m. packing your the harness cannot be loose). Maine town rai 98 *s. Main •-•treet. Brewer Own chute at first). line jump S-nciay evening, in f!ont; you base to count to posure to a des of the Union I Hairstyles for Him & Her • After sufficient training, you five when you leave the plane. If the UMO seyve * are ready to + wa-w 41110.4, : go up. The big mo- your chute doesn't open at that Carrying the , December * ment comes, the plane is traveling point, pull the reserve chute. You possessions, down 51.00 off cuts *▪ the runway and lifts up in- can't panic, or you'll be dead. crammed the bi * to 53.00 off perms the air. You await your turn to panic, or you'll be dead meat. Bangor Interna Classifieds * jump Mak Student ID as you feel your blood If both chutes fail you will an attempt to e # For the latest in hairst)les. pounding in your head, palms either be dead or injured, depen- Officials said tn DE.,-1 ENTERI1ELL-T ig call 989-'513 getting sweaty. ding on how badly your chutes when it would .1C7TN1TIES ...1EEDS YOU! timm& for You pray that the time to 1911", Solmmd--Pmieme. lione -Cheek the new assortment of jump Fire depart ig will come quickly, Lam Seam 16 am Pft/673=25,1 ointml cosmetic bags not because So, when are you plahning to wearing gas m you're that Wee ompereencel. APPL1 ter Onemeher .1 . at Wyk .Norman eager to jump (you go skydiving? campus to finc 19114 AppEreceoes a.mlable SI the SEA there is a probl, Mice. Thant Flom. MemoralI,nem system. 1,0 50 PER HUNDRED PAID'or pro- MURPHY'S STEAK Sparks Jon( ___tmeM leaormsnoe. HOUSE UMO fire d, st17.•.:4resmd. STSrept- er.•.10re —WE FEATURE— nothing like thi: ammlaus. broz Robeiic •Seee GOURMET BEEF FROM MON FORT OF COLORADO eel in the 50 yew 0.:01 THE WEST'S MOST FAMOUS CATTLE DEALER , P the departmeni FREE Gyms 195. &Mee: Teasel 0 / sn tr,pase.:e peageme Eampe 1 Lb. HOUSE SIRLOIN 0 40. Easm-4,Fme.Trep OISIC11=6 0 LOOKING FOR AN / ARON Flo ars or mos wear Set wa - $5.95 0 _i_aaranzeee Doe. 01216 ,XV• Rust. S_ PRIME RIB 0 APARTMENT $ COU epem &Sno.Tem.& - & 0 FOR 0 - Yee& Pare C1 4. 0 0 L•E S•E $ SPRING SEMESTER? 0 " F1P1RTNIEVTS _ Potato & Salad Bar FREE 0 WE MEET TO W,,... , 0 `Special offered all day' 0 DISCUSS, T1 1:110 0 1. 2, 3 Bedrooms 0 0 OTHER SUPPO1 0 0 TEU. YOL11 FOOCS mel eoLoad •cm es Sun. Thurs. 12 Noon NEWS LETTER, 10 p.m. 0 Walking Distance 0' mem a Chmemee aole 1600 19 Fri. & Sat LIBRARY, A 1 -4 12 Noon 11 p.m. 0 to UMO 0 Remo.* Darer Jaw see ewes Cal 0 ARE NORTHER Open 0 0 &Weal 1114014 0 Call 866-2516 FOB 990* CAR Sunday Or 0 am 0 no, •••• -mew- M..ine Gift Certificates Available 0 t Is Imme pee Lunches 1 866-4220 evenings 0 k 4 G.A.Y

1, pusmaC eniaM ehT. Friday, December 14, 1984 3 that's Disposable cars ist solve parking problem? r by Grub Kilo Dead Mutton, Genocidal Stu- .Staph _Writer dent Senator, said the administra- tion's proposal was "blatant plagiarism" which was made even Associate AdministrationEx- worse by it being "totally out in ecutiveMaster Brain Control Ad- the open." vocate Grommets Mosquito an- "Several Prudent Senators and nounced disposable cars will be I drafted a similar solution fr used to solve the campus parking months ago. The Senate passed it problem. as a resolution which was prompt- “Soft, foam rubber cars are the ly ignored by everyone, including answer," Mosquito whined. our secretary who considered it "We'll give off-campus detritus 'somewhat less important than (humans) mass-produced 'insta- the Publisher's Clearinghouse cars' for the daily commute from Giveaway', and used the only_copy their sleazy, unkempt, alcohol to wipe some mayonnaise off her smelling tar paper shacks. desk," Mutton bleated. Mosquito said the cars, made UPlaine Horde of Lustees of flimsy tin foil and powered by members, when told of the pro- elastics, will be issued to students posal said, "We could care less if from a hi-tech booth in the the students don't Like it. They can Memorial Union. The cars are all get mad and quit. We don't designed to last 24 hours care. We got tenure." whereupon the students will Mosquito's proposal was for- Arar.gre discard them for new cars. warded to the Committee to Rub- - "In this way:' Mosquito buzz- berstamp Administration Whims I 41FAffew •••• ed, `rt-h-e -crack SUMO plowing '(CRAW). The Prudent Pennant - "ow crews will just bulldoze all the cars resolution condemning the plan in a big pile ... then we'll light was presented to the Ad-hoc them on fire." Committee That Never Meets or • The students will then be issued Does Anything, where it was ta- new cars, so they can get home. bled until its members graduate "This way, the parking lots will and move far away. be empty and I can do donuts in Mutton and Mosquito traded a_ them during my lunch houi," series of lewd comments and mox Dorito, who begged forgive- demanded free parking for all and Mosquito grudgingly conceded as "Cheesy" Mutton expanded to 40 ness to the fermented curd col- immediate refrigeration to prevent he made an obscene phone call to or 50 times his normal size and ossus standing before him. The spoiling. Two students carrying a a Lewiston distillery. threw big writing utensils at Flum- bespectacled wheel of gouda "Greased Poo Stench" banner mysteriously emerged from the yellow mass, staying close to its Leak in sewers causes mass exodus oozing perimeter.

ST. JAMES afraid), but ORONO — Thousands of Jones said there may be would be safe for students to EPISCOPAL CHURCH ,s that holds the frightened people boarded buses, something new to report on return next week to take their final Sunday Fur hanst 10an, a, is cutting in- exams. "We just have to cars and airplanes in a mass ex- Friday. play it by Bu, f,CAM111, Iwk a,, fo be effective, odus Thursday from this central UMO President Arte Johnson smell, Cr, I mean, ear' he said in •411 )t be loose). Maine town rather than risk ex- said he had no idea if the area an interview early Thursday. 'se to count to posure to a deadly gas leak from ...... •• ve the plane. If the UMO sewer system. 't open at that Carrying their most precious erse chute. You possessions, area residents Gingerbread Houses! st.low 06- 'VE1 )u'll be dead. crammed the bus depot, 1-95 and make a great X-mas gift! • ..... Mame. GOT e dead meat. Bangor International Airport in On display uwassi outside of VV ilson SI Brewer Nrghtclub" fail you will an attempt to evacuate the area. Hauck until Sunday. Thurs. Sat. IT ALL injured, depen- Officials said they had no idea Magic THE BEST ly your chutes when it would be safe to return. Sponsored by the $2.00 Tequila SPRING BREAK Fire department volunteers all raghl German-Club- now VACATION DU planning to wearing gas masks scoured the servma-yo.ii revorMe sarniwirtres 2(0, I ear btangs titalig, NM, Nightly. 50 Orel, PACKAGES campus to find clues as to why • • • CheCk brochure desikrerl. there is a problem with the sewer system. o Ft.LauderdaleS 239 0 r•lorel only from S791 Sparks Jones, chief of the

UMO fire department, said 0Bahamas S249• nothing like this has ever happen- DeGrasse Jewelers fr ed in the 50 years he has been with 5 Mill St., Orono 866-4032 0Bermuda S279* a. the department. 0Puerto Rico SA* Includakt AROOSTOOK Visit DeGrasse • Round-Trip Airfare FOR AN • Transfers IENT COUNTY • 7 Nights Hotel Lodging Jewelers • College Week Activftles 1 In Bermuda/Bahamas L•E•S•B•I•A•N-S A fine selection of traditional 14k !Dances. Parties. Music. NESTER? • Sports' WE MEET TO SOCIALIZ E, TO gold and contemporary sterling silver , TO GIVE EACH • drooms DISCVSS jewelry OTHER SUPPORT. WE HAVE A ...ME11 ''714-747',4zA-`21 A LENDING A price range to fit every budget POUNDS 'stance NEWSLETTER , LIBRARY, A PHCIVELINE. WE Name 10 TRY US FIRST! ARE NORTHERN LAMBDA NORD Address .2516 POB 990*CARIBCU*896-5888 Open: Mon-Fri - 9 a.m.-8 p.m. School Sat - 9 a.m.-5 City _ State Zip venings Sun - 11 a.m.-3 p.m. • Plvs .11 Ea. and ser.wes Pnan name on G'A'Y' M' E• N ams eon., Sueelemenn gray oronj ccaner con 4 04,,,,r( eniaM ehT Friday. December 14 1984 Camp

by Savannah I Police Bladder * • Staph Writer The day th became Nov. 5, in history as disliked action! Maine at Oror Many out by Patti B. Fink seconds on Tuesday night, a scribers and Staph Writer WMEB disc jockey was monkees mem allegedly seen riding a wart- fused and then Edward I. .Cutting the hog through the mall crying, the wrong date Cheese, A.K.A. Fast Eddie "We don't pla. weird music! of the supmaC Cutting, A.K.A. Ed the People around here are just v, hen it read ,I Knife, A.K.A.. Special Ed, uncultured!" "No one They corn A.K.A. Sharp Eddie of the around here is yeast," honorable Gov. Bronx, A.K.A. Stud, A.K,A. replied a senior English ma- dan that this , Mud ...etc., was issued a jor from Ipswich, N.Y. Police the logical ord criminal summons Monday decided later to drop charges 0 * * demanded an • night on a charge of dancing on the jockey because he had < Two I. MO students pause for the photographer the matter an ‘‘ednesdas a hilt on a studs break"' t to gross for allegedly dan- been subjected to a torturous < in the Memorial Onion. V. hen asked to lease their names, tiles left in a huff, be the staph sating the, did not base time to chat, spoil sports.1%alentino photo) • * cing nude atop a wobbly; pun. supmaC. * sticky table at the Bears' Roving Maine Campus o * However, it Den. Arresting Officer, photo-grapher, Peeping the faulty date o * Hairy reported— -Hawk Tompkins, —.00100-00-0000 -000-000-01000 -000- -00‘t S. Demi-ton was ar- •of the supma( Cheese's action was "even rested Wednesday for supmaC El more disgusting than the hair allegedly taking photographs Hormone said •Farts !continued from page 2) * brush that's been behind the outside of the Raymond of a campus-wi defense developer, said Sphinc- consumed as a liquid, Sphincter * bar (at the Bears' Den) for Fogler Library first floor pressures of ter's breakthrough will soon hopes to soon develop the for- * the past seven weeks. Cheese ladies' room. Tompkins said semester rush. become a major part of the mual in capsule form. will be referred to the Jane in his defense, "Now, that's "Everyone k defense itinerary. After drinking the serum, the * Fonda Fitness Center for a REAL sports photo!" last few weeks The killer-gas capabilities place human body will produce toxic observation and physical The entire fraternity ATE, be. Sp, we the America far ahead of the Soviets farts for about three hours, he * reform, will be given severe work in secret weapon possession, said. Plans to reduce the fumes' * Michael P. Hormone and detail for allegedly par- Burper said. lethal period to one hour are be- * Hack Statutes, will be drag- ticipating in a disassembled ing developed. ged to the conduct officer on game of nude golf. A univer- "We have detectors that will "We are having some dif- * a charge of breaking and sity administrator with a pick up a concealed weapon on fis.ulties with test subjects who entering into the Studnt Cir- long title said the members one of their agents," he said. forget they have consumed the * cus offices and gagging will have to scrub the "But they have Maine nothing that will serum and several hours later con- * Mickey Mouse for Memorial Gymnasium until detect one of our agents loaded sume a plate of beans and blast * information "it smells real good' The sa with lethal fumes up his ass." themselves to the grave," * At 3:33 a.m. and 32 A group of retired univer- While the serum is currently Sphincter said. seconds Tuesday, Police Of- sity administrators picketed Hey Pau ficer Is it ti or-u—int=,t— • t 1.___nJ ---, a William 0. Laugh-In outside of The Damn Yankee was allegedly seen chasing at 12:03 p.m. Thursday. branch a cows through the Memorial Group spokesman Joe roomma1 Union with a whip in one Idealist said the group to gradu hand. Laugh-In said as wanted the restaurant's name ain't ye% Orono - 95 Park Place police escorted him back to to be changed the The Darn the station, "The heifers were Yankee. The retired ad- lookin' mighty rowdy ministrators were escorted up tonight!' to the University Club New, 2 bedroom At 3:33 a.m. and 46 Sandwi h townhouses: *************************/******** Two complete baths,.full- YENISIMEIM ' kitchen living room, full 0 basement, excellent location m across from main entrance of UMO. Mobil Gas Baer - 11/las - Groceries For an appointment Stillwater Arw, Green 827-11300

call 942-0652 Genesee - Pabst $7.99 Satur bar bobles plus a. s Per Budweiser $5.89 12 packs cans or bottles plus !as & Pep or Miller King Kan $1.25

Lowenbrau & Lowenbrau Dark Plusl"$3.Z5 "Cc 6 12 02 bottles 947-6277 P,uS tat 8 dnP call Cigarettes $8.75 carton canons after 6 pm pl. tax Large selection of wine & wine coolers open till 12 p.m.Fri. & Sat. pusmaC eniaM ehT Froday. December 14, /984 5 Campus gains one month; mad citizens demand justice by Savannah Duneavon a month to give every- Staph Writer one plenty of time to finish their term papers without getting The day that Dec. 5, 1984 points taken off, or ulcers or dark became Nov. 5, 1984 will go down circles under their eyes." in history as one of the most Hormone said it started when disliked actions the University of the General Student Circus Maine at Orono ever took. unanimously passed a resolution Many out of town sub- to extend the end of the semester. esday night, a scribers and UMaine board of GSC member Ted Chopping jockey was monkees members became con- said he was the sponsor of the riding a wart- fused and then irate-upon seeing resolution. "I was afraid if & mall crying, the wrong date on the front page something wasn't done, we would v,eird music! of the supmaC eniaM on Dec. 5, have a bunch of burned-out stu- . here are just when it read Nov. 5 in-stead. dents on our hands that wouldn't "No one They complained to the be able to vote for me when I run is yeast," honorable Gov. Jehosephat Bren- for Student Circus president next r English ma- dan that this was not following semester." Ai, N.Y. Police the logical order of society and UMO president Arte Johnson )drop charges demanded an investigation into said he heartily supported the lecause he had the matter and punishment for idea. "I was greatly encouraged to a torturous staph members of the that there are such ingenious the per- Members of a special force plan how to protect UMO against outraged citizens supmaC. sons on campus, as to come up who stormed the campus when outraged by the campus' going back in time Line Campus However, it was discovered that with such a plan," he said. "I one month on Dec. 5. (Phile photo) !r, Peeping the faulty date was not the doing thought it was high time that in to protect the campus Lins, was ar- against munity, if they would agree to irn- •of the supmaC alone. something was done. outraged citizens who thought nesday for the mediately revert back to the nor- supmaC Editor Michael T. "I just never thought there. university had no right g -photographs to alter mal date. Hormone said it was actually part would be such an uproar through- time. he Raymond of a campus-wide plan to ease the out the state over a matter that However, Gov. Brendan made He said he would pacify the y first floor pressures of the end of the really doesn't affect the general a deal with Student Circus Presi- general public by making pro- Tompkins said semester rush. populace." dent Stream Witze that he would mises of free Christmas dinner at "Now, that's "Everyone knows how bad the Assistant Director of Police pardon the university for their the State House, and candy canes .s photo!" semester last few weeks of a can and Safety Phil Brosser said well-meaning attempt at making for all the children under the age -aternity ATE, be. Sp, we thought we'd back up special forces had to be brought life easier for the campus corn- of 76. severe work Ilegedly par- University Motor Inn Lounge disassembled Paul Hughes toll A univer- 5 College Ave. -ator with a the members GO HOME scrub the Maine doesn't want nnasium until you, it never did. Heineken Night t good!' The same goes for you too, Brailey! Friday, retired univer- December 14) 4D\ 'tors picketed Hey Paul, 5- Damn Yankee Is it true Pine 121:0061C Manor is opening a 12 p.m. ii -i. Thursday. branch at Orono? This could save you and your 11emplwe cesman Joe roommates a lot of gas money. How does it feel the group to graduate after seven years, gonna miss us 90c all night aurant's name 0 ain't ya'? aways the The Darn — Free give 01 1[11.101=let le retired ad- Paul & Scott, re escorted up Congratulations and • se ersity Club Merry Christmas tithed Lick •

liaaiWzrammicsamractitimsgrairimmiro 46 Main Street n Orono, Maine 04473 111e Telephone. 866-4995 or 866-2100 lcx I ADVENT 1 1 : x 0 Send flowers to someone li Christmas Midnight Ili 0 m N tlip you care about Liturgy Ni Ai N I ,01",i-7-cW for the holidays. Me N 0 $7.99 li Saturday, December 15, 1984: plus In dep n ------Apv,0 & i Come into M.A. Clark $5.89 xi 11:30 p.m. Nx plus In & dep xv m 0 VOM01;"„ and we can have flowers $1.25 xi m sent to plus InC dep $ 11711W, anyone in the world. $3.49 xi "come and celebrate with us" N plus In a OOP IN N 0 $8.75 carton x al pl... It Newman Center N rs N College Ave. Ni 0 x ra fitibronowaromvitamiromarAriostoopratativ. i 0

- 6 pusmaC enia144 ehT. Friday, December 14, 1984 Column Isholiba PATTI B. FINK Music ww—r. Criticizing 'God' Fifteen stupid To the editor, I like heavy rr things to do at killed my mother on, that the semester is over it is time for lord music. A dangerous combination if you ask because she didn the staff of the supmaC eniaM to review me. And, he always used to call me a communist. UMO The college rad Nthe performance of its editor Michael T. I'm not a communist." they won't play Hormone. What follows are a series of comments "I thought it was great when he wrote that story because it is dears made by staff members. Their names have been with the woman from Newsspeak. That was just a ty. I don't think withheld to protect their physical well-being. great story. It's really good that he got to work One) Try to walk across the mall lawn and I'm society! wish he'd do another big expose on student with a national magazine." without the fear of getting clothslined by I killed my lath government. The first one didn't accomplish much "I think Mike did a great job. It took a lot to the killer metal wires fencing off the 18 because he cu and I think we should try again." get this paper to recover from the reign of David grass. Or avoid losing a shoe after it's If the radio "He's God. What could I say about God that .. Skywalker." contentedly lodged itself into the cold, heavy metal soon hasn't already been said?" "Mike was a good editor. Whatever it is that the squishy mud. Try not to be embarrass- what I might ch "He made my job easier. He threw away so editor does, he did it perfectly.." -- ed when you've lost that •&-" shoe. GOOD MUZIC many letters to the editor that there was little left "Mike had the business acumen of most editors: Two) Promise you'll do that 21 page for me to do." Which means that he left me alone. I'm glad." term paper all in one weekend when the "He's such a man, jumping out of a plane like-- "I used to sit up at night hoping he would stop paper is due on a Monday. that and breaking his leg. I hope he does it ' by and visit like he always said he would. But he Three) Rely on being able to buy roll- again." never came. Well at least I had the pleasure of ing papers on campus when you don't Flabby "I just hope he didn't hurt the rock he landed working for him." have access to an automobile. "Mike was great he put the liberals and Four) Go to a dormitory spaghetti Dear Flabby, "Oh, Mike did a pretty good job. He thought he Democrats down here in their place." dinner and expect to have fun. was in charge but I cOUld never figure out wIty_._ Basically, Hormone has gotten mixed reviews Five) Live off-campus (way off cam- My husband is Everyone knew that I ran things down here. After from the staff, but in all seriousness he was good, pus) and decide it best to wear an ugly me. Last week ht all, I have the most friends in student govern- most of the time. It's too bad he had to leave early yellow raincoat if it's drizzling outside. with a fur coat ment." because of his injury. But then if you're crazy It's important to remember it will always bought it for h "Mike Hormone as editor? Yeah, I guess he was enough to jump out of a plane, you've got take the clear up and turn out sunny and didn't believe hit o.k. He had an odd passion for large weapons and consequences. beautiful when you're the only fool with Last night I sav an ugly yellow raincoat on. But on the a nightclub with day you decide to leave that disgusting blonde. When I thing behind, it'll rain for damn sure. about it, he sail Six) (If you're female) Wear spiked mother. , heel pumps and think no one's going to Flabby, I'm aft gawk at your legs or say nasty things him. What if she behind your back. mother? What de Seven) Enroll at school here because Coen exciting "college things" like tailgating, Dear Confused, See Bloom County pub life, and exciting senior bashes ap- I think you she peal to you. Do apply to go to school We don't run "De here because you have an alcohol abuse this newspaper a and Doonesbury pattern to wish to find a way to seek will. Take a hike cheap, forced, every where you turn on page 16! alcohol counseling, and why not get an education at the same time? It's Dead bea economical to kill two birds with one stone. To the editor, Eight) Go in to the booming metropolis of Orono and think you're I just wanted to going to have the meal of your life and that I killed th the nightlife of New York. weekend. Nine) Think that walking the streets Schroeder's be< of Orono is safe, and just try to ignore of too. all those vicious, home-protecting dogs who'll tear your head off for coming Rc within an inch of thier backwards master's meagre little property. Ten) Enroll in a class you think is go- ing to be easy. Chances We, its professor .JinPi is going to change the image of the course for the first time in IS years. Eleven) Make arrangements to stay up during finals, when you're all through, and expect to have the time of your life. Twelve) Casually walk down the steps enjoy goin of the library on an icy day. great that Thirteen) Allow someone you know Ithe area. less than a best friend to borrow your When I go c library card to take a large bOok out. that I'm famili Will Ray ever see that book again? Who you know, An do you think ends up paying for that? fine oriental re Maine Campus half the time l'i Fourteen) Write a semi-dirty person- of some peopli vol. XCV no. LX1X Friday, December 14, nal to *iterhe Daily Maine Campus*xi• 1984 and expect to see it in print. order typical A Fifteen) Think you can graduate in mignon, a bak four years and still have a good time. salad. By the • Michael Hormone Savannah Duneavon, Mismanaging Editor Poor Starvin, Toy Page Editor I never couk Run Slavriel, Mismanaging Editor Hawk Tompkins, Shutter Editor of the day. Al God Won Lintball, Mismanaging Editor Hack Statutes, Slug Editor soup. Not ono Decca Bagel, Cattle. Prod Manager Gull Tern, Ghost Artist was the soup Slick Crayon Stark Ftaggedon, Money Maker Manager James Simple, Trash Editor stead." Munchkin Ditto, Her Own Office Manager Rod Days, Trash Editor I have to ad Paycheck Manager Even A. Mackerel Slave to God Editor interesting item quite sure as h P5Mlished once a semester ar the Utt,..ett.tt, of Ma.nc at Orono Offices at Room 483 lord Hall, UMO, Orono, Maine, 55469. Telepheme I've never qu: numbers Edam 555-12,1, 55,15eHtama Ofrate, 555.12'3, Bravoes, Ofilec., 335,12,2, Managma bitten, 555.1267. Newsroom, 555,12:69t Sports is. It sounds h 555-1268 requen Printed at The Ellsworth Department, Advertrama and mama-0nm rates amiable upon A swingy.. Ellsworth. Maine. Usually whe

-.5 pusmaC enia84 MI Friday, December 14, 1984 7 Column B. FINK 92noq2951 Music Spell right Kill the animals I don't like it Behave To the editor, stupid To the editor, To the editor, To the editor, To the editor: I don't like the parking. 1 I like heavy metal music. I I manic wish you peeple I would like to encourage all don't like your reporters, I don't do at killed my mother when I was 15 wood learn to spel write. Don't I'm getting fed up with interested students to attend our like baboon hearts, I don't like because she didn't. you reelize what it does four students around this college informational meeting on Dec. people who smoke, I don't like The college radio station says you're cretibillity when you spel misbehaving and having big, 0 32 at 3:00. manifest destiny and I don't like they won't play heavy metal tong? large fun. things I am the president of the the phones. because it is degrading to socie- So there. Every student Afteral, we are colege "Slaughter the Animals" club. I know drinks ty. I don't think it's degrading like 'an students and so we shoed be Members of our organization unchained animal .oss the mall lawn and I'm society! Hoo Cares (editor's note: able to right good and have a hate all animals and do all they Goes to show ing clothslined by I killed my father when l was Stork Village who you know good use of English. can to see that all animals are in the student fencing off the 18 because he cut my hair. body, I am a seenyor English major mercilessly slaughtered. Grommets). ; a shoe after it's If the radio doesn't play Stay away And they swear. sew I no what I'm talking We strongly supported the elf into the cold, heavy metal soon I don't know And they don't about. adoption of the moose hunt in To the editor: even wash to embarrass. what I might do. ME LIKE their socks. I be I wood be gladd to ofer my Maine and are steadily pushing bet they all stink. hat *&--" shoe. GOOD MUZIC. Most of the services as a copie edditor if you for an eagle hunting season. What do you do if your children here 1 do that page haven't had the classic 21 reallie need won. Our major enemy is the cat. roommate is weird? upbring- veekend Kill Email ing I've had, when the I think that it is impotent that We hate all cats with a passion. My roonunate insists on wip- so they don't know Orono any better. mday, you try to COreCt what you do. They just sit around all day and ing his nose on my best ties. g able buy roll- And no, I don't die my hair to As a student newspaper you stare. What good are they? He doesn' even think it's s when Flabby I truly insist the you don't should be pirfect and that's why Everyone should help out and funny ... he just does it. university will omobile. I'm writing. kill a cat today. I think if it weren't for not tolerate students rmitory Dear Flabby, misbehaving. I think it's spaghetti I think I could due a better Our first meeting will include Residential Life telling us all an fun. abasement of the have job putting out a newspaper election of officers, singing and what to do, my roommate institutional My husband is cheating on structure dommit. 'us (way off cann- that mi do. a couple of games including the would be okay. And I want a to wear an ugly me. Last week he came home I wish Residential Life would justice. with a fur coat and said he popular game, "Catch a cat and drizzling outside_ Nothin Bettertodo kill it!' just stay out of everything. bought it for his mother. I mber it will always Borono We welcome all fellow Grommet Mosquito didn't believe him. animal Woodrow peak., out sunny and haters. An administrator with a long the only fool with Last night I saw him go into Neep, neep, Bangor Ode on. But on a nightclub with a tall, thin at the Baboon hearts Tony Butcher ************************** ve that disgusting blonde. When I asked him about it, he said it was his San Flamingo n for damn sure. To the editor, tale) Wear spiked mother. , Flabby, I'm afraid to dump Like, gross . no one's going to I am truly appalled at Jim him. What if she say nasty things really is his Simple's editorial condemning To the editor: • DON'T- *** mother? What do you think? the use of animal organs in hool here because Confused in Orono humans. Like why do we have to take Dear Confused, gs" like tailgating, Mr. Simple must be a closed- classes we dot even like? I think you should get a clue. senior bashes ap- minded fool! I was born with a Like what's the deal? We don't run "Dear Flabby" ly to go to school in baboon heart and I have lived You know, like why should I an alcohol abuse this newspaper and we never a totally normal pay a lot of money to sit in a WRITE! life. •** nd a way to seek will. Take a hike sweetie! Just the other day I was out boring class? The editor where you turn in the woods swinging from tree Like my friend, you know, nd why not get an to tree and I had to stop and she goes to a real college in a same time? It's Dead bear thank the good Lord for city, and when she gets out of so birds with one baboons. boring classes, like, she just Frankly, we To the editor. In the future I hope Mr. don't o the booming Simple will work to inform the She can, like, go into the and think you're I just wanted to let you know public through his editorials nightlife and do some really really care to hear al of your life and that I killed the bear this rather than conform it. narly things. You know? York. weekend. Any time he wants to come I really hate UMO. It's so walking the streets Schroeder's been taken care over and discuss it I'll make gross. your inane, idiotic I just try to ignore of too. banana daquiris. Why didn't I go to a real se-protecting dogs school? .d off for coming Ronald Raygun Chimpie Squat Muffy Andrews opinions! Washington Kennelbec Hall .* thier backwards Zimbabwe ************************** property. as you think is go- es are, its_mofessor the image of the ime in 15 years. igements to stay up Eating out on a blind date you're all through, e time of your life. it's as if I'm on a blind date with alk down the steps enjoy going out to cat every now and then. It's the menu .. you're on the sidewalk under the gum — I don't want to never quite sure what's going to be on your plate. icy day. great that there are so many fine restaurants in have anything to do with it. For example, what is General Tso's chicken? I 3meone you know Ithe area. What are you really eating when you order don't know what this guy did to chickens, so why id to borrow your When I go out to eat I usually order something chicken wings.. when was the last time you saw a should I eat any of it? a large book out. that I'm familiar with ... like scallops, or steak — chicken fly? I'm always afraid to order item 68 on the menu . book again? Who you know, American type food. The area has some Why does the menu differentiate between — hunan beef. Maybe they misspelled human. p paying for that? fine oriental restaurants that have great menus, but shrimps? Item 06 is baby shrimp, but what about Why is crispy shrimp given a separate title? Is it semi-dirty person- half the time I'm not sure what I'm ordering. I know daddy shrimp and mommy shrimp? because it was normal shrimp that was burned? Why are things sweet Maine Campus*xi• of some people who eat at oriental restaurants and and sour? Did the cook What's a lemon chicken? It sounds to me that if mess up the order? I'll way, in print. order typical American food. "Yes, I'll have the filet have it one thank you. something is wrong with it you're stuck eating it What about the house u can graduate in mignon, a baked potato, yes sour cream; and the special? I'm always wor- anyway. Have you ever seen a boneless chicken? It ried about ordering this save a good time salad. By the way what is the soup of the day?" item. If the house says it's I never could understand the concept of the soup sure must walk funny. special then I'm probably getting screwed on the of the day. After all, who wants to eat yesterday's Why do all menus say "fresh Maine lobster?" I've deal. The house special is probably all of last week's soup. Not once have I heard someone say, "What yet to hear anybody ask for old, scummy, bad leftovers sprinkled with some pecans or something. was the soup yesterday?... OK, I'll have that in- tasting, infected Maine lobster. When I ask for rice and the waitress says, "What stead." I always hesitate before ordering anything with kind would you like ... chicken fried rice, pork fried I have to admit that I'd love to try some of the bamboo in the title. Isn't that what the Vietcong rice, or beef fried rice?" I respond by saying, "I don't interesting items on the oriental menus, but I'm not used to torture prisoners? care who cooks the damn stuff, but really I'd like quite sure as to what I'd be eating. Why pay an extra dollar for pepper steak? If I a human to cook it — how about some human fried I've never quite figured out what moo goo gal pan want pepper on my steak I'll put it on by myself and rice? is. It sounds like some cow got sick on a skillet. save an extra buck. "By the way did you spell human wrong on item Usually when I eat in one of these restaurants, What's this subgum stuff? If something is stuck 68?" • 8 pusmaC emaM ehT. Friday, December 11 1981 111111111111100988X1a111111111Kniu r meow mac 41111CASIM ANDUINIMOUSaM Ava,Xli, Ali, mia. xrra mat Aux Ara >ow NIIK mix —=,Ars< No( mix xlm< Air Alw.Awl" rIMINSIDUMIDOMIK

g To the sex godc '3 52—what a gre Everyone To Carmen, Shelly, ty. tel a N hell YOU can replace Hillary in Having you as my big sister of a time. " a my life. made the memories even more sio Mo, the go Jim R. special. Thanks for everything! that bottle, not Merry Christmas! 7 what a great hr To Elaine, Lynn too bad the On 0 to crash and Jessica means nothing. It's Its the Wednesday a YOU I love YOU have the right Charlie, 0 g "We'll never stuff. I can't wait until finals are ma Spike Sam S. over, for unlimited bedroom and Guth I've priveleges and our first x-mas 0 from 5-4, g To Louise, together. benches earmar Congrats on the Oscar, Merry 0 semester. To TI- N NEIGHBORS, Honey! I knew you'd do it! Christmas! N join your Bruce S. Valerie pal U 0 hell. To the Sen To Nancy, management at To the Passing Winds: I thought of you in "Officer". arm you in case Have a blow-out Christmas 0 Richard G. 4 come in with gi and break. g Finally, GRASS Love, To Barb & Lil, the chocolate m Gassy •0 It's been a great semester of the vacation wit work fun. g (we gotta do so & Have a great Mon Ami- break. N flea), and for b. Donnez-moi WHAT? Love, David g girl!' Indy. We're even on late-night drunken visits - no more To ICS08473 lec- 0 To 3 Snorth an tures on "restraint and CS83 wouldn't have been the guy: Thanks for willpower" and I won't 0 same without you. I'll miss you. climb on N semester so grea your lap and pout Love, anymore. It's g Christmas! been great ICSO8A69 flunking Physics with you. Joyeux Ton Prof. Small, Arnie P.S. What's that new Puuuleese have mercy on aftershave? Punkorectomy, my Your room reeks! GMI grade!!!! We know how to bathe your gi John, Roomie- 20 Pages? On the Bear's Den?? rub gravel in yo Trees, Gook Food, Westgate, 128, Huey, Hopscotch, "The Boss", fights. friendship, It's Let's redefine our roles! been two I've great years!! been trying to—do you think Ron, Have big, I'm playing a game? Just me. break. No more Supergirl "Roommate" while!

C.B., Sheila Tequila, Congratulations on your new You've got a heart of gold! DR. Sweetie, place. Can't wait for romantic Merry X-Mas You do my hc candlelight dinners. I love you Love, Cath yours. always and forever. P.S. Want some candy little girl? Love, M.E. a To Our Foken V) Pin, Jo Mama, and Carolyn, Just like old times only better. Roses are purple, violets are Don't forget Get prepared for some "nice green, these are some of the time, we want to nights:' Oh, gross! Maybe we Pru, best times we've ever seen: friends. Cause r Sigma Na, hiccups, feel....like will; maybe we won't. You're right. OURS is a Jade, a virgi Elmer's beer shampoo, strange and wonderful relation- Mrs. those HBO Bros Food and Nutrition, Knocks, Beez, ship. BUT who is which is still Bio Blues, Reindee the photo bunny, Command performance? open to debate. I love you, je ne pas ca- ringworm relativ ca, Thanksgiving, pings, Want to get lost again? Your Sailor Moe—eat and our d your carrots!, the kinky kuz, all nighters, Choo-Choo, Foxy Females With Class: the morning after, quirks, rocky Had a great time at Spanky, ya-ya, scarrie, horror, chose, beer spitting, Campofello, waiting for the Granny, Chris-mus, Skeeter Reagan and Annette, -RC. demon sunset. Neu time let's check the wlIl1fav6tdowjtIjdijj voice, dry comments, top 14igget bunk parties, juice weather report. me...you're stuck with me until bar binge, Six months a basically chung, Mr. Wonderful May! Thanks for being there Terror in the of living togeth Aisles, the when my man let me down— ride home and back, Anniversary! 1-1 hit To Lizzy, Moose, Chipper, Joe, DON'T FORGET YOUR and run, hairspray holocost, mar in the war cafeteria Peitz, For, & Scottie, QUOTAS! seductions, vasehne there before yoi lips, crabs, Joyeux Noel and may the new Love y'all— aerobics, Tamara not woo & woody s year be better than this one! Irish today, moo-mo, goober lover, From: Mike McDonald mania, Eh Cavale, hairy the Scrooge Dean Introvert (62 56 F.A.) moon, lumpy pillow, sex- ual P.S. Joe & Peitz, stop feeding Yes, you are WEIRD. fake being wet lips, butterfly sheets, heavy the reindeer potatoes! your thesis, your "sleep depriva- breathing, booballo's violent PPS. Larry, may you get hemor- tion:' your folk music, and your urges, semi rhoids over X-Mas break, paranoia formal, Glerm's creations, and place them firmly Hash 13, Where The hawaiian party, pointer sisters, Sun Don't Shine. All I want I Mez, And DON'T first floor flasher, happy, enjoy it! your incredibl I'm looking forward to break. healthy, and terrific, the pout, 54 your love. (Re Merry Christmas! Karma, the laughs, the tears, the joke issue Love always, the hugs,...we love you—ya Grumpy Bear Cal, know what we mean?" T.S. Thud likes closets because that's where Geoff, Thank you for being my main he communicates with We signed you up for an extra squeeze, my right arm, my Lovetron. Red's hang-up 0 with course at Middlebury. devil's advocate, fat chicks has to do with Prelaw and my honey 101. The bump. his BIG toe. You like me 'cause class project is the you like 7UP. legalization of indecent Yet Flame Hoover exposure, 0

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• pusntaC eniaM MT Friday, December /4, 1984 9 NW >NIX 3.1110CANIC XIWK MINK XPIK

To the sex goddesses of To my new Managing Editor; 1I 52—what a great Christmas par- This semester is over! Hap- ty. Everyone tells me I had a piness, Freedom, Time Mostly hell of a time To tvlakey big sister and the time! Slo Mo, the good doctor nen more threw I love you infinitely. that bottle, not me! lb the verythingr boys, C.B. what a great brotherhood night, too bad the Orono coppers ynn had Wench, to crash and trash the place. To Two weeks of fun! Whatta the Wednesday night crew, bargain. But the things we go "Wei never make it" right inals are through for money...MorocA.M. Spike and Gulliver. To edroom the chaps champagne? from 5-4, I've got a few park rst x-mat Love, benches earmarked for next semester. T.S. lerry To THE 'hristmasr NEIGHBORS, why don't you join your B.C. Inc. alerie pal Lucifer and go to hell. To the Senator the Keep passing the open windows. management at 'trans should . Is: arm you in case certain editors Christmas come in with guns a blazin'. Finally, GRASSY, thanks for Lee, _ONT, the chocolate milk, the Vega, Merry Christmas. 71aSSy the vacation with Flea and Dish Geoff (we gotta do some planning Ilea), and for being "the old CSB AT? girl!' Indy. :-night A song cannot in any way have value if it does not spring more lec- To 3 Snorth and my Special from the heart. And mine does- ind guy: Thanks for making this It's singing I LOVE YOU! nit climb on semester so great. Merry Merry Christmas and remember, inymore. It's Christmas! we've got 70 more to go. Physics with Love you, Love, Joanis P. Jimbo Eon Arnie v aftershave' Punkorectomy, E Blake, We know how much you Boo, love Now that you're back to bathe your grandparents, in I love you! Good luck on or stereo... rub gravel in your hair. your finals. Can't wait 'til Sincerely - Happy Holidays. August , Westgate, We love you 17th Together Forever. Beantown or Bust - Call me. Love Always 2 South You 's been two know me.. Bunny J. Matthew Ron, Have big, large fun Booski over Helen: ust me- break. No more hicks for a 441 Stop Roommate while! Thai, with the -you die" look; They can take away smile at breakfast. Watch P.B.F. your the "Hart", the "Grinch", & your kneecaps. Merry Christmas. booze But they can't take Guess Who? -t of gold! DR. Sweetie, away the memories. Merry X-Mas You do my holiday and I'll do Miss Sis P.B., Love, Cath yours. I'll be your savior idy little girl? Ms. Comm. Stead fast and true Tom A., I've come to your to Our Foken Wenches, Tuffy We met for only a short time, Emotional rescue and Carolyn, but there is always next GARFIELD violets arc Don't forget for the 69th semester. ne of the time, we want to here's to good An Admirer Rob, M seen: friends. Cause you make us Can you believe I'm working Jade, feel....like a virgin. How about ALSILYAJR!!! here now! Miss you tons. )00. Mrs. those HBO Brownies, No- Yeah, team! You finally got Merry Christmas. Bio Blues, Knocks, Reindeer boots, furry your personal. Merry Christmas Love, ne pas Ca- ringworm relatives, double worn- and don't cross your eyes. It's Sue doe—eat pings, and our drunken stupors. too funny. inky kuz, all Love, rig after, The Boys John, To the WOMEN of UMO, r, chose, beer from To the calmest fiance in the (Jennifer, Sarah, Diane, cl Annette., Downstairs world. I don't care where you Gretchen) 00000H,AAAAAH, ymments, top Trigger (King IM1y put your gloves. Meet you at Notre Dame MOAN, MOAII,AMOAN,(Loud bar binge, Six months and one semester this summer. Merry Groan). See you all sooner ror in the of living together! Christmas. or Happy later! le and back, Anniversary! Have a great X- Love you, The Future ay holocost, mas in the war zone - I'll be Carla Fathers of vaseline there before you know it - woo America llunara not woo & woody are forever. YV 35, The been trimmed obet lover, I Love You, tree's and lb Cavale, Wrinkled I'm ready for another ice cube The Corbett Lushes, party. pillow, sex- Scluninkled 11Lis one's for you! Merry Christmas, good luck iutterfly Yessah! on finals, have a great break ins, That's right (party hardy!) and see you next Beth, get, semi semester! (Sober we hope!) I love .tions, Barry, you, Hash B: John tel sisters, ROCK THE HOUSE! You're Susan dahlin' All I want for Christmas is a respectable man now. A muf- aPPY, 4•4 your Have a great Christmas and the pout, incredibly sexy body - and fin a day keeps PAC-MAN your love_ (Remember, this is please - "go" easy on the Ihe tears, Fever away. stairwell! the joke issue) M.E. Love, Love ya' r?" PD A.

for an extra DER, y. Prelaw Roses are red I is the Violets are blue ent If you're a bad girl no presents for you. Love, The Grinch Macmat./ AMY >SW VOX Alb AIIK MeV L MISMIIIIINIIIMMIIKSIMMOIM11110111111rINIM11111111.1101MMIMIM

-1 10 pusmaC eniaM MT. Friday, December 14, 1984 irIMAM )IIIIK XXX r 4110101MICIIIIKIIIIIMINGINIKAIE ?INK ANIK MIK AOC sememaxsaMennKVIIKAIKAIK,00,APIK9,0"mcmsKAwm°`'21KA."") Commentary Hey C.Et, it's by Drug Kilo Detroit Tiger Fan, THE LIFE OF RD.: Gretch (AKA Lucy), Hypnotist, the party, The 3 way split personality I think we've both absorbed I only live a Polynesian Duckling, etc... Ad Mismanager, pseudo- our quota of catho rays this Thanks for making the end of and am too 12 student, and future Hollywood semester. Try not to get lost in the semester a little more en- a.m. class,ever Movie Director.... the London fog. Please send me joyable Good luck on your a well-bred Englishman. (David car. Sometime; finals and have a Merry X-mas. RD., in her future Hollywood Bowie would be fine.) Give my purposefully face Rough Movie Director personna, ra- regards to Chuck & Di. Don't because I don't asked Santa for a P.S. I tionalizes watching endless get deported. Cheerio! and do bong hi stationwagon. hours of MTV by convincing to Wadleigh's her pseudo-student personna she is gathering research for Billy Restaurant, MI Nile Owl. Does Phillip live in a vacant Joel's next video. A few parting messages: My dorm on the third floor? Now that my days at UMO order two dolt To the New Editor... When we give Ftamo scalp he are over, I would like to say almost every ru Congratulations on the big always wants more! Barbara Kupenburger goodbye and thank you to the promotion! Thanks for taking We wish you the best Christmas I loved the week-end we spent following people: the time to answer the million yet, together in Etna. I'll be thinking MI the nice people on cam- and one questions I've asked all but remember the back rub of you. pus that I saw while delivering semester. You've helped make you owe from the bet. Love, the Maine Campus, and a my job alot easier. Best of We know we are your favorite Your Professor of special thanks to those who Luck! girls from Maine Psycho-Ceramics opened doors for me when I From the No wonder, who else would pull had big bundles of papers to Old Ad a train? To all All members, members take into the Union or library. Manager of the new "soon to change the MRS. V., Penobscot Hall (What's her LL music world" rock band The in- receptionist: thanks for all the name) I I5ii very, very, much. famous "Dead Bass" and you nice chats we had at the last P.S. If you think I'm trying to There you have it, in print. local groupies over there on stop on the delivery route I will butter you up about what we These long term separations are Harrison Ave miss them. talked about the other night, unbearable I hope we don't Hey you guys, it's been great. RUSS LINSCOTT and the you're absolutely right. Hockey have to go through it again. 3/12 years with all of you. What photo mech & press room crews tickets and my first born. . Here's to getting 4.0's next am I suppose to do now? All I at the Ellsworth American: I semester! can say is Thanks, and I won't will remember having to go "so Angel, Love, forget anything. See you all early in the morning" to pick What do baldness and M.P. Easter morning. Sand Beach! up the papers. Thanks for mak- Christmas trees have in com- X0X0 ing it easier with your mon? We'll never tell. Stay friendliness. "trimmed" for the New Year. MAINE CAMPUS STAFF: it 0 The Guys has been an interesting semester as M.E. down here. I will 0 Hey Cootie, always remember it, and I'll I know you know how much never forget you. I love you - that's why I'm not Finally, a special message to going to tell you again in a my dear husband DAN: I know personal! UMO isn't the greatest place on Love earth, but it gave me you and Cootier! for that I'm happy. I know you're ecstatic to be leaving Peter, Maine, but please don't gloat Please help me!! The sisters too much on the way south. I 0 are torturing me with their still like this crazy state. P.S. I banana ritual. On second love you. I love you. I love you! thought, don't hurry. Sincerely, 0 Love, Suzanna Opu Donovan 0

Baby Bear, Let's be gweepy and soon Beck, taneous... Meet me under the Thanks mistletoe in Virginia... for the yogurt. You may have just Love You, Sproutly Brat. Thin A., saved my life Merry Christmas: These are my last words on Your Fussy We met for only a short time, the Alpha CG cancer tube. N Squirrel Gamma Rho (brother, but there is always I think I sur- next vived. sisters, sister pledges, Genie); semester. Will give a cheery hello N Rick L.: 3-E; Andy; Rocko; RAJ and to the Queen and An Admirer family. We have finally found you especially to my dadctyl Cheerio to you too! and await being near you next Sandy semester. To Pookie, Merry Christmas. Hey Dudes on 2-East- Merriest of Christmases and The Harem Yo, What's up? Thanx for a Happiest of New Years! Want to (UMO COOL semester! I.E. - watch some hockey over break Branch) Ghostbusting, Funnilingus - or play some spoon games? Or Drink more! Kurtis Blow- both? le raime To Lisa, Rob and Cherie: Chillin', Bowie, Uking at Le Frog Let's tell Santa we want: Bergspitze - "We were Prince" - another probation party, RIB, It's documented!, "scary", Am I Question: NOT JB, DS, RW, or BC. Make a leper?, It's not Coca-Cola it's Where is real music played? that Flutie Badgers, bathing rice.:`Hey dudes, Can I bor- What smells better than the suits, beer and eggs and sleep. row...?, Bong-hits!, Sticks, Old Town mill? Get out of town! No PMS, Rocky Horror, "No, No, No.!', Where is the acid-free snow please. Tequila, snow football - Dear check, Waldo, Haircuts at found? save our tp, hockey ee- Penney's, "Rough Boys", Po- Answer: voy...A,B,C or X,Y,Z. Dancing Head, and Friday night mall NEW JERSEY. our faces off - bunny rabbits trips in the Keyster-mobile!! So long UMO. and witches hats. Santa can just Y'all have a Merry, Merry The F.U. Kid drop us off in Boston where Christmas!! We love you guys- are real? Thanks to the Smick there and Smack Lisa and Darlene, best roommates I could ever Have a beary Merry want. Happy Hannukah and Christmas. We love you. Merry Christmas. To License Plate no. BOB-L Theo (BH) Love, I love you. Olie (11B.) Sue

LJAIRCONKV41011XIIIKANK illIK >MK MIK NM MIK AN< AIX We, 910,401, AMOK MIK NW MIK Alec xneraw MIK MS< ASK AIIMR. AIX mat maclanal111=11111011111101111101111K 7/10eArt pusmaC eniahd ehT. Friday, December 14, 1984 11 Commentary by Drug Kilo over who's going to go across the especially like those for the new is the perfect complement to a street and get it. We also fight over snack food "fruit roll-ups", which casual brunch of both absorbed I only live a mile from campus Old Duke and tho rays this who's going to call up and order are really flavored strips of raw cookie dough. and am too lazy to go to my 9 the A to get lost in pizza. naugahyde and taste like those lit- Beings college intellectual, a.m. class,even though I have a I've Please send me Besides eating greasy pizza and tle multi-colored cubes and rhom- been known to spend Sunday ;Iishman. (David car. Sometimes I get up at 8 a.m., farting, my other main goal in life buses they eat on the Starship afternoon in quiet t. fine) Give my purposefully skipping Latin repose and is to build up the stamina and true Enterprise. I think I'm going to meditation. In other :k & Di. Don't because I don't care about college, words, I buy grit to watch cable television 20 stay in all weekend and watch the the Sunday beerio! and do bong hits. I live next door paper, look at the pic- hours a day. I watch television networks' new spring lineup. I tures, to Wadleigh's store, Governor's read a couple of filler items constantly, mostly Superstation figure this year there will be some in "Parade' , and throw the pages Restaurant, Mc Donald's and the WTBS in Atlanta. I can watch really good shows, especially all over my livingroom. Then Nite Owl. My roommates and I I do messages: The Flintstones and The Munsters those with Michael Landon.The some order two dollar Nite Owl pims more bong hits and fall • days at UMO all of my life if I have to. Even the new "Scrabble" show, hosted by asleep until my Id like almost every night and then favorite bloopers to say fight commercials are interesting. I veteran gamester Chuck Woolery, iank you to the show comes on. people on cam- while delivering ipus, and a :o those who or me when I s of papers to nion or library. tobscot Hall December Graduates mks for all the ad at the last ivery route. I will Sign up for your Graduation Reception :GTT and the press f001/1 CITY, a American: I in having to go "so Student Government, Third Floor, riling" to pick Thanks for mat- h your Memorial Union. The reception will be on NPUS STAFF: it a cresting semester December lere I will 16th from 2 - 4:30 p.m. er it, and

!dal message to with an address by President Johnson. id DAN: I know greatest place on ve me you and Entertainment and Refreshments also. ppy. I know o be leaving Ise don't gloat C way south. I Sponsored by Senior Council ay state P.S. I you. I love you! Sincerely, Suzanna Donovan

the yogurt. You saved my life. HAVE YOU MADE ANY PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR? last words on the )e. I think I sur- IF NOT e a cheery hello and family. too! * Consider Canada Year 4P Each year a number of UMO students in Arts and Sciences, Education, Engineering, Forest Resources, Life Sciences and Agriculture, and Business Administration take advantage of a unique opportunity to study at a Canadian university and earn transfer credits at UMO. The long established Canada Year Program invites all students in good standing to participate in this special educational experience. FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT: Lee-Ann Konrad Canada Year Coordinator Canadian-American Center 154 College Ave. Orono, Maine 04469 • 207-581-4222 Application deadline for the fall term is February 15, 1985

7 12 pusmaC eniaM ehT. Friday, December 14, 1984 Shortage of green peppers causes concern on campus by Ophelia Pond cafe worker, said, "The problem Staph Writer is more widespread than the university is willing to admit. Last An unusually bad green pepper night we had to serve tomato soup crop in Mississipphhas resulted in and macaroni and cheese without a low supply of ihe peppers on one pepper in it, because we had campus, said the York Commons already used our daily supply in dietician Thursday. the tuna fish and jello." Ima Pig said, "It's really horri- Four students were forwarded ble. Next semester we may have to to the conduct officer yesterday resort to using natural seasonings for picketing the president's office like salt and pepper. It's causing with "Give Me Peppers or Give a real upset in the commons." Me Death" signs. Bad Breathed, president of the 'no Nothing, professor of Chock Full 0' Peppers club said, nutrition, said, "The students "It's outrageous. They've cut have eaten so many green peppers down on serving stuffed green that without them they are ex- peppers to three times a week. periencing withdrawal symp- This university just doesn't know toms." Nothing estimates that when to leave a good thing in four years at the university the alone." average student has consumed 7.8 Breathed said the club will tons of green peppers. Talkly Mouthoff, cashier at the Cafeteria workers in Wells Commons break the news to students that there picket Wells Commons early next is a shortage of green peppers in their meals. semester unless the university UMO bookstore, said, "We're takes emergency measures ta hoping the Situation will be rec- restock the dwindling sup- tified soon. We stand to lose big Bear is allocating S4,000 in the first time in six years I can go ply, which now stands at 3,000 if it isn't." emergency funds to all of the to the cafe without a sixpack—of pounds, or a two-day supply. Mouthoff estimated that the commons so they can import C7C- Rolaids. It's a miracle!" Thomas D. Asphalt, UMO vice bookstore rakes in $4,000 a month tra supplies from Nicaragua, Narly Bogus, head honcho of president of general nuisances, in Rolaids sales. green pepper capital of the world. food at every complex, assures said, "The whole story is a pack UMO President Ted E. Bear Although the major protest has students that the situation will be of lies. There is no deficit in pep- said he is watching the situation been in favor of the peppers, there rectified before the end of pers. We've got enough to feed the very closely. "Personally, I feel the are a few students who like the Christmas break. "Don't you entire town of Orono for ten years service is excellent and efficient in shortage. worry, it'll be waiting for you "I stand as it is." the cafeterias, with or without the "I can't believe it," said Fred when you come back," Bogus remote Tit Lazy Sloth, Wells Commons little green gems," Bear said. Fondle, 802 Gannett Hall, "for said. ing of impr -4*-4110---4,--4:110-430-4110-430--47 University of Maine at Orono School of Performing Arts Music Department , r t, k• Street Pub Christmas P presents mi.. Miller Appearing 6 12 oz can! Budweiser., lah meg Maws tiker&itt curls Fri. & Sat. 12 12 oz car Dec. 14 & 15 Stocking Sh. otoisg" Miller King 32 oz Dogs Celebrations The ALL Andres • except Brut

To encourage driver safety Barstane is offering 25. non.alcoholic beverages to any pecson Berner who identofies him or he,sell as an operate, of a insMete

-1,41-1,-11444-11L4f***44.44.41 44(44-4-11,4******M in Dr. Records' WOAA Pricebusters Sale!: 1, A Holiday suggest retail up Concert 4( 20 Main Street $70.00 Orono a, 866-7874 Sunday, December 16, 1984 Hauck Auditorium All 8.98 list LP's & cassettes: 8:00 p.m. just 5.99 now 'til Christmas 'See Mr. Fix-it for complete audio repairs Bar Ha Students/Senior Citizens: $150 Others: $3" on all makes and models! BR pusma( entaM eh]: Friday, December 14, 1984 13

'ideals that there

ix years I can go ut a sixpack—of tirade!" head honcho of omplex, assures situation will be e the end of k. "Don't you waiting for you "II stand for drugs," intones Smog "Dalai Marna" Fltshley from his "quiet contemplation of Eastern meditation without the pressure of ac- back," Bogus remote Tibetan mosque on the outskirts of Veazie. Fleshey, upon learn- tually using my education." ing of improprieties in the 1983 Prudent Rubbermint election said be seeks

STILLWATER RIVERPLEX Christmas Packs Miller $2.98 6 12 oz cans or bottles plus tax & dep 31 APARTMENTS Budwei8OF *woo $5.99 12 • 12 oz cans plus tax & dep Stocking Stutters Miller King Kan 81.20 "A new concept in housing for 32 oz plus tax & dep Celebrations ALL Andres Champagne• $2.99 the Orono area." plus tax & dep. • except But Gift Giving rages to any peso.' Remember friend's & loved ones with a gift from our Cl. AGENCY LIQUOR STORE • Geothermal Energy • Close to Campus • Washer/Dryer " Inexpensive! 11.1841 91 41*** Assorted • All Appliances " Privacy WOMEN'S CUFF-STYLED BOOTS • Riverview • Parking • Sale!* from Partially Furnished • Quiet Neighborhood

OURS suggeste /1/1A I N E $9,95 We still have a few openings for spring retail up to 14/0005 semester. Leasing to groups or $70.00 SHOES YOU CAN LIVE IN 'WHILE SUPPLIES LAST' individuals. If you need a quality assorted colors, sizes, & styles apartment for a reasonable price, call (-1 similar to style shown John Dudley, General Manager at 827-7511 or 945-5681. cassettes* 'til Marden's BRAND NAMES AT OUTLET PRICES airs Bar Harbor Road MON.-FRI. An Alco Project. BREWER SAT. 9-5/SUN. 10-5 Mkt 28-18 --1 14 pusmaC eruaM ehT. Friday. December 14, 1984 Ridein leads team to a Gosh by Peggy Wick over news staff Staph Writer 32-6 win Well ladies, by Charlie Moses blehead. This really excited his team- agree, sports w Staph Righter mates and the staff decreased the lead disgusting? Bt to 24-6 and it looked like they would get something abot It was the classic case of David ver- back into the game, but Ridein would of us take for sus Goliath. The Administration was have nothing to do with the Staffs com- Goliath. Meet David. The supmaC eback. Ridein skied for a defensive re- decide not to at eniahl staff was David. But, the irony is bound off of Skywalker's missed sure- ting event. David still lost as he was supposed to. shot layup. Ridein dribbled and bounc- Who needs In the annual .Administration vs. sup- ed the ball down the court through the clubs and perf( maC eniaM staff basketball game Hot Rocks wh Goliath destroyed David 32-6 as Deen Ridein pumped in a game-high 20 points down to the M in leading his squad. -Vke gu)s are the best." The game was never a contest as Ri- —lleen Ridein. Administration dein drilled his team's first 11 points. The newspaper staff was held scoreless dur- team member ing the first half and couldn't produce any threats. The staff was with out their top scorer, however as Schloroship Jones could not play because he was taking a maze of blue tanktops and made a spec- makeup exam in basket weaving. tacular one-handed turn around jumper Jones said, "Hey' man, I had to take that hit nothing but net. the thing cause man, I would have flunk This sank the hopes for the Staff and the course without a grade, man." Ridein scored the game's last six points Leading 18-0 at the beginning of the to seal the victory shut for his squad. third period, Ridein and his teammates After his super effort Ridein stated, showed no mercy on their counterparts. "They were no good I tell 'ya. We guys The Administration pummeled the are the best. Who were them fools staff's defense for a quick six points to anyways? I pity the fools who try to play lead 24-0 with six minutes left in the quarter. Skywalker was extremely upset with Supmac Eniam finally got on the his team's loss and he said, "I don't scoreboard as Jimmy Skywalker slam- know what happened. Vie can beat them med an awesome sky-high dunk over the guys, that's what coach says. Coach says heads and shoulders of Nobrains Drib- we gonna beat them guys next time." At center is Dees Fticleia. member of the winning Administration team that beat the supmaC enia.kf staff, 12-6. Buckwheat killed

LOS ANGELES (SNN) — His body was rushed to San Francisco Buckwheat, former star of the televsion !Memorial Hospital, where officials series "Our Gang:' was killed Thursday refused to comment, or release his name by an unidentified assailant. Buckwheat began his acting career in Buckwheat, 43, did not have a sur- the "Our Gang" motion picture series, r•!.„. name. He was killed after an appearance produced by Hal Roach and King at the Hollywood Bowl, where he had Features Syndicate in the mid-1930s. 4404:ew, performed the second of his two shows After a period of intransigence, • weArk;eis on 1Ls "OH TAY" tour. Buckwheat returned to the public • ••1!•-• Los Angeles police said the comedian spotlight after syndication made the was killed as he went backstage after the children's series popular on television. performance. Buckwheat's mother, Mrs. Edward Murphy of New York City, grieved over As he stopped to sign autographs, the the loss of her son. - • *1/- assailant, wearing a brown trench coat, "I can't understand why anyone would pulled a gun and fired twice into want to do that to my poor - Buckwheat's abdomen. little boy',' she said. "He never did nobody no Don't Buy Wrong Buckwheat was pronounced dead on wrong, he was just a good boy who lik- BUY RITE arrival by officials at Los Angeles ed snow!' Memorial Hospital. Joseph Piscopo, Buckwheat's road The newest Members of the star's entourage im- manager, would not comment on the President Ar mediately opened fire on the gunman, shooting. He did say Buckwheat had Jacqes Bonet announceme PieIs apparently killing him in a hail of planned to take a weekend skiing trip to photol 6 pack - 12 oz bottles Champagne bullets. Colombia beginning Friday. $1.88 705m1 $2.99 $' plus tax & dep • • • Week End Super Saver plus tax • 0 $ Legendar, 0 Have You Seen the Salad Bar 0 0 at Miller's Restaurant? 0 at a 1 0 0 Rheingold Bud 12 packs 0 0 0 12 oz. 12 packs 12 oz. cans it only 0 As The World 0 $8.95 0 $4.05 $5.69 0 0 ! Solti • Su • • Marriner plus tax & dep plus tax & dep. 0 • 0 lUi 110NGOUS ! • ! Many Mc • • I* The World • More than 200 Hot & Cold Dishes • White Rock 0 0 ! Build a cc 0 plus Standing Steamship Round of Beef 0 2 liter soda prices! Fontanelli Wines 0 every evening! 0 All varieties 750m1, 0 I* Over 2001: All Varieties 0 ALL YOU CAN EAT ... 0 89' $1.99 0 0 . plus tax 0 INCLUDING DESSERT & dep • ,0 •a $3.89 p Locations at: Stillwater Ave., Old Town • Park St., • 10ff 1111Mattir or 1 Orono 42- Atain Slrevt Bangor P Open till I a.m. 7 days a week 0 0 • 0 0 0 4 pusmaC eniaM ea: Friday, December 14, 1984 15 a to a Gosh, Ijust love to see by Peggy Wick them tight little butts Staph Writer watch those foxy B -ball players ing to give the UMO men's And football ... it just as ,s staff prance around in their skimpy lit- basketball team a victory, well, Well ladies, how many of us titillating. My gosh, just watch all tle shorts ... ooh la la. then, how could a girl say no? Ily excited his team- agree, sports writing is just plain those muscular he-men bashing I guess they had a game recent- Just watch him some night ff decreased the lead disgusting? But girls, there each other around. It's enough to is ly. I'm not really sure when, but ed like they would get something about sports that most when he is ever so charming at a make a girl shudder. Just watch ne, but Ridein would I was there, and it was major "big, of us take for granted when party. You'd swear you were in those biceps tearing through those . with the Staffs corn- we large fun" watching those ever-so- decide not to attend a heaven. My goodness, is that boy clothes. rd for a defensive re- major spor- built-boys sweating and ting event. panting. tall? And ladies, you know what Yes, a football player's clothes walker's missed sure. How could a girl resist? dribbled and bounc- Who needs fancy male that means? Well, it doesn't. are less revealing than those of the strip When you have men like Jeff the court through the clubs and performers like I'm sure there are other extra men of the court, but the im- Stevie Heeler canning an off-balance, Hot Rocks when tall wonders. And I'm sure you'll agination can do marvelous one can truck 18-foot jump shot from the down left all agree, there's nothing like an things to the boy with the pigskin. to the Memorial Gym and corner with three seconds remain- athlete's stamina. Listen to 'em grunt! the best." Administration team member Johnson to return to UMO gridiron wars tops and made a spec- decrease by Won Lintball his intelligence so he can fit in d turn around jumper on the squad. nit net. Staph Writer "I want to live up to the image that opes for the Staff and Arte Johnson stunned the UMO foot- the public has of athletes. I realize that game's last six points ball world with the announcement that most of the gentlemen on the UMO y shut for his squad. he is coming out of retirement. team are extremely intelligent but the effort Ridein stated, Johnson, as a football hero, is a public doesn't. It's what the public ex- legend in his .od I tell 'ya. We guys own mind. He has dashed pects that counts," he said. ho were fools for many a TD in his them time. "Pay Dirt" Johnson gave an example of his work is his middle name. e fools who try to play tv.: saying, "I think we all played pretty Johnson has zigged and zagged and good today, as a team anyway, but it was dazzled extremely upset with a few defenders in his time. He raining out so we didn't." is hoping to bring the rid he said, "I don't same success to UMO Coach Gone Rogercon said the UMO Beady Them tied. We can beat them football team as having the president on the team would he :oach says. Coach says brought to the university as president. be interesting. Johnson said the em guys next time." biggest problem he "I think Arte can really contribute will face will be finding a helmet that something to the team .. I'm not sure will fit. just exactly what yet, but he will - "Coach said he got one for me but I play," Rogercon said. ain't seen it yet," he said, practicing The athletic department is planning to his dumb jock voice. print programs with Johnson's picture Johnson has been 'shed to San Francisco working hard to on the cover in order to increase sales. ital, where officials xi, or release his name. an his acting career in motion picture series, 0 NOW is the time to save al Roach and King :e in the mid-1930s. 0 on our ski packages id of intransigence, rned to the public 0 • yndication made the 0 ALPINE iopular on television. I-other, Mrs. Edward Elan 530 Ork City, grieved over 0 Salomon9$197,50095 0 326 Binding Rossvnol SMC $24500 Heeding Cobra or Star /2000 Marker M35 Binding Ind why anyone would /15.00 • $ Tecno Poles 25 00 Reflex SMC Poles 37 00 o my poor little boy' ffr- 0 Professronal Mounting 15.00 Professional Mounting /500 ever did nobody no 0 Tune & Was 5.00 Tune & Wax 5.00 ,t a good boy who lik- Engrave 500 Engrave 5_00 -14'141 $444 95 TOW La, Buckwheat's road 0 The newest addition to the UMO Beady There football team,[MO Package Price $269.95 Package 95 not comment on the 0 Price $269. t President krie Johnson. Johnson stunned the gridiron world with the 0 say Buckwheat had announcement he will he coming out of retirement next year. i PITS 0 weekend skiing trip to photo) 0 C ing Friday. 0 .MMI.O.MM.0.0.1.0.MM.O.MMWO.NMWO.MMWO.MMWO.MM.0 - O.MM.O.M.11. $ CROSS-COUNTRY 3 i • $ Rossignol Cheyenne $9500 Fischer Comfort Crown $12000 g Bar I Legendary Performances Henning Banff Boot saw Flperling SNS Boot 56 95 C f at a Budget Price Tecno Binding 12.00 Safomon Binding 7995 g Excel Pole 12.00 Excel Pole 9 95 AV 1 1 Professional Mounting 7.50 Professional Mounting 750 V • Hot Was aso The World's Greatest Artists! Hot Wax 350 0 $18000 $217 85 $ Solti • Sutherland • Karajan i 1 Package Price $99.95 Package Price $169.95 g Marriner • Rampal • Mehta Many More! I • The World's Favorite Classics! *Ike Bootoec • lobes ! Build a collection at budget i $ 1 of Beet 94 • 0 1•11•161 prices! I0 Over 200 titles to choose from! .ii F, 41•• ••• •I 1 e MEW Somme • Bosom Motes 04401 ItT I 945-6474 7 $3.89 per cassette available at the UMO I or LP Bookstore I1! 1 The Si(' Rack staff wishes you a safe and happy holiday season. rt. MEMW0.110.04111MPOWMOIWOwiMitwO w0wwww0awww.,...... MMWOwWW ....e 16 pusmaC enioM ehT Friday. December 14, 1984 BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed I 4i4W1 771/5 7 AC77.491.1.Y, WA5 KNOW WHY A21/AILY fr 14095#7- A CH/MACY IM NOT OKAY. YOU'RE 1.65566„I FEU- CHIMNEY IN VIETNAM. Ar SAVA U-05 00401 A CHIMPEY Au. tr WA5 A PAMNEP BOW& ANY RAW. ROMPH uor airspe- 0/./AN6-TR I. 00019Y-77rAPPEP TUNNEL. 3 OfMY /5 IN A CHAIR A FEW VERO /%9 Of 71115. KIXEP ME Will, ABACK. 8/./7065 P PIER CIVE5 CA5T WEEK. IWEE1.5. yvu toe our r - REALLY 67.7 / -ih ( ( V •

BLOOM COUNTY by Berke Breathed

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