Tales from the Talk Shows
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Media Watch Tales from the Talk Shows C. EUGENE EMERY, JR. oad the tape, grab the remote, functional relationships) are the bread Enquirer forecasts, 1992 was to be the press PLAY, and let's step back in and butter of these shows. But when year the Castro regime toppled, entire Ltime. it's time to get away from such topics as pro teams developed AIDS ("threaten- It's December 8, 1994, and Sally children from violent homes, overbear- ing to end professional sports"), and Jessy Raphael is poised to give the ing parents, rich abused women, and David Letterman and Jay Leno caused viewers of her TV talk show the inside women who have poor personal a sensation by swapping jobs at NBC. scoop on the still-simmering O. J. hygiene (all topics on Oprah Winfrey For 1993, according to Monti, Fergie Simpson case. Among her experts: the week that Monti appeared on the would pose naked for Playboy and "a "criminal psychic" John Monti. Raphael show), talk shows often serve cure for AIDS will be discovered in a Monti proceeds to weave a spell- up an unabashedly supportive look at little-known chemical found in ordi- binding tale, based on his psychic things supernatural. nary crabgrass." Whoopi Goldberg was supposed to give up acting and enter a vibrations, of how Nicole Simpson and The hosts of these shows sometimes convent in 1994, according to Monti. Ronald Goldman were murdered in "a argue that they're doing a public ser- drug deal that went bad" because vice by publicizing important issues Viewers gor none of this back- "Nicole owed huge amounts" to her swept under the rug by polite society. ground information. But during his murderers. But when the topic is psychics, UFOs, Raphael appearance, folks with a criti- Then, Monti says he has uncovered or other aspects of the paranormal, it's cal eye got a revealing look into the new evidence in the Simpson case. At real science that gets swept under the behavior of a psychic who claims to the boisterous urging of the audience, rug. The informed skeptic—if there is help police solve crimes. and at the risk of being arrested at the one—may get two minutes of on-air PLAY. conclusion of the show, he agrees to time to battle wave upon wave of asser- Before he reveals his startling piece tions and anecdotes. And the hosts and unveil his dramatic discovery on of evidence, Monti tells Raphael's sym- producers, in their endless search for national television. pathetic audience that he knows where compelling stories, either don't know, STOP. one of the two murder weapons in the or don't want to know, that some of the It is a scene that plays itself out—in Simpson case is buried—it's in O.J.'s tales spun by their guests are of ques- one form or another, using one theme backyard. He says he's told prosecutor tionable quality. or another—regularly on America's Marcia Clark where to find it, but she's television sets. From my home base in Consider the Monti appearance on ignored him. "1 don't know what her Southern New England, I am privy to the Sally Jessy Raphael show. If problem is," Monti says. "I think she is more than 15 network and syndicated Raphael or her staff had done their being bothered by DNA research too television talk shows featuring guests research, they would have discovered much, and she's not even from anxious to discuss everything from bat- that Monti has been consistently Harvard." tered men to women who say their wrong when he has tried to predict Then he explains how he scaled an beauty is ruining their love life. unexpected events in the National eight-foot fence to get past a police Personal relationships (actually, dys- Enquirer. According to Monti's guard, stood on Nicole Simpson's 12 SKEPTICAL INQUIRER • MAY/JUNE 1995 blood stains and began poking around and exciting method of marriage ther- they have been abducted. I guess there's the grounds. Under some bushes, he apy" in which couples are hypnotized something going on here." says, he found something extraordi- and taken back to past lives in an But Povich has it wrong. nary. attempt to fully understand the prob- The 3-million figure comes from "Do you think you should have lems in their current relationships. UFO promoters who believe that if turned it in to the With hypnotist you have had four of five experiences police?" Raphael asks. Hazel Denning claim- —waking up paralyzed and sensing a "What were they ing that die technique presence in the room, discovering an going to do?" Monti "resolves possibly any hour or more of unaccounted time, retorts, sparking problems you have," experiencing a feeling of flying, seeing unusual lights in a room and finding applause from the Oprah acknowledges unexplained scars on your body—you audience. that the concept may have probably been abducted by As he reaches into seem strange, but "all extraterrestrials. About 2 percent of the his briefcase to I'm asking is that you nearly 6,000 adults polled fell into that remove a paper bag, be open-minded." category, which translates into 3.7 mil- Monti remarks, "I One volunteer, lion Americans. don't know what's Michael Gilbert, says going to happen to that when he's been If Povich or his staff had bothered me after this," an hypnotically regressed, to check, they would have discovered interesting statement he's seen dinosaurs. that none of the people surveyed were coming from a psy- Sally Jessy Raphael Oprah, apparently even asked if they had been abducted. chic. pan of the 35 percent Povichs guests include Harvard psy- From the bag, Monti removes a of the population whose Flintstones chiatry professor John Mack—who kitchen knife. Someone in the audi- view of history makes them believe argues that UFO-abduction tales are so ence yells, "Oh my God!" humans and dinosaurs lived in die similar they must be real—and Jone Monti, who claims to help police, is same era, sees nothing wrong with this. Victoria, a marketing director kid- handling the knife without gloves. "I'd want to come napped by "very dark, When "world-renowned psychic" back (to the present) very short" space Dayle Schear asks to hold it, Raphael too if I was you," she aliens. Victoria says says: "Oh, surely. That's a good idea." jokes. she realized she had been abducted after Monti hands the knife to Schear Oprah then shows she underwent hyp- and she begins rubbing her hands on a hypnotized Karl notic regression thera- it, obliterating any hope of finding fin- Homann being asked py and Mack asked gerprints on the would-be weapon. if his current wife, her if the five black Karen, is present in "Do you think we should have han- dogs she remembers the past life he is dled it with gloves or something?" as coming to attack recalling. Homann Raphael asks as Schear returns the her at the age of six announces: "I'm knife to Monti. were actually dogs. Responds Schear: "It's a little late Karen." Denning ex- Suddenly, Victoria now." plains that husband says, she realized that The only dose of reality comes at and wife were once "they weren't dogs at the end of the program when "Dana," one soul "and then Oprah Winfrey all!" a fan of O.J.'s, can't take it anymore. they split." There are no questions raised "These people are so fake," she And when Denning talks Homann about whether Mack was subtly asserts. "If you're so psychic, could you into the future, a technique known as encouraging Victoria to see the dogs please tell me what kind of matching "progression," Homann sees himself as space aliens, or whether she went to bra set I have on?" meeting a space alien. "It's going to Mack in the first place because she We're not to know. The "Sally" happen. I'm going to meet them," knew of Mack's interest in extraterres- show quickly goes to commercial. Homann says while in a trance. "He's trials. STOP. REWIND. PLAY. ugly. But he's not mean." It's July 19 and Oprah Winfrey's on STOP. FAST FORWARD. PLAY. Then there's "Dianne," a computer the tube to talk about "an incredible It's Tuesday, December 20, and executive from Massachusetts, who Maury Povich is explaining that he's claims she is abducted every couple of Gene Emery is the science writer for the about to do his first show on UFO weeks. Has Povichs team planted a Providence Journal, 75 Fountain St., abductions because a recent poll says Providence, Rl 02902. "three million Americans believe that Tales continued on page 54 SKEPTICAL INQUIRER • MAY/JUNE 1995 13 Guru frontpage 11 for a half-hour while the control group For a while, Henning threatened to merely closed their eyes and relaxed. take Veda Land away from Niagara divine their secret mantra by ESP! Blood samples were taken and mea- Falls unless the city fathers refused to In 1994 the cost of a basic TM surements made of chemicals indicat- allow a gambling casino to open in course jumped from $400 to $1,000. ing stress. The researchers concluded town. Gambling, said Doug, always Officials insist that for decades the that TM meditation failed to induce a brings a plague of hookers. When the price has been too low to meet expens- metabolic state distinguishable from city refused to bar gambling, Doug es.