Death Around the World

Jessica Vogelsang, DVM, CVJ

As providers of pet hospice, we often find ourselves counseling families through their very first experience with death. While in an ideal world we would have the support of a full team of professionals including social workers, mental health professionals, and chaplains in addition to those managing the medical aspects of end-of-life care, often times the vet team is all a family has. The experience we provide for them will color not only how they feel about the death of future pets, but their perspectives on death in general.

Although we can’t replace the services of these valuable professionals, having a basic understanding of various cultural approaches to death may help us better relate to the experiences of our clients so we can provide them some context and comfort for the questions and apprehensions they may be experiencing. The goal for this talk is to broaden your appreciation for the many different ways people mourn, and to encourage you to be comfortable discussing it.

Grief vs Mourning

Grief and mourning are two different entities. Grief is the emotional response to loss and tends to be ubiquitous across the world: crying, fear, and anger occur globally, though Western culture in particular tends to discourage outward manifestations of this. Mourning, in contrast, encompasses the rituals and process one undergoes in order to deal with a loss. While grief may be universal, mourning is a highly variable process.

Mourning Customs

In our Western culture, funeral rituals are often seen as an ordeal to be survived as opposed to a much-needed source of support for the bereaved. In many cultures the highly ritualized process of funerals and bereavement is intended to ensure the bereaved receives community love and support while being allowed to mourn in a manner appropriate for the culture. Members of the community offer emotional and spiritual support to guide people through this process.

In the West, these support providers have been supplanted into the clinical realm: preparing for death takes place in an ICU surrounded by doctors, not in the home surrounded by family. The body is whisked away after death to be attended to by a stranger at the funeral home. The service may be presided over by a stranger. Instead of feeling comforted, people may feel even more afraid and alone than before.

The experience can be even more isolating when the patient is a pet. People have very few resources to help process their grief, and the public displays of mourning that are acceptable for a person may be discouraged by the very support system a family would normally rely on. A photocopied printout of “Rainbow Bridge” is the best many clinics do, but we can do so much more.

The following is a very general oversight of some of the major world religions and their approaches to death.

Christianity

The beliefs and customs surrounding funerals in the Christian tradition can be highly variable. The main subsets are Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Protestant, Anglican, and Free Church (which encompasses multiple groups such as Methodist, Mormon, Quakers, Baptist, and Jehovah's Witnesses. • With a few exceptions such as Quakers, tend to have an authority figure such as a priest or deacon who presides over the funeral process and gives comfort to the dying • May have a specific set of sacraments or prayers associated with the dying • Burial and cremation are both common • Funeral services often include use of flowers o Began as a way to cover up unpleasant odors o But now have a language and symbolism all their own • Candles may play role in ceremony o “funeral” derives from Latin “fumis”, or torch o emblems of joy, life, and banishment of the dark o In Catholicism, light a candle when you say a prayer

Christian views on pets and heaven • The traditional Catholic view is that pets do not have immortal souls, but they do have a soul specific to animals. • The 2012 Cambridge Declaration on Consciousness suggests animals are sentient beings and may, in fact, have souls • The Book of Revelations does include descriptions of animals in heaven • “God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.” -Billy Graham • bottom line: there is no solid Biblical answer but many Christian scholars can find good evidence to support the concept of animals in heaven. • Near death experiences- mentioned their own pets, seeing children and pets

Judaism

In Judaism, two main components of the death ritual are honoring the dead, and comforting the mourner. Both are very important and considered community obligation.

Honoring the Dead: • the body is the temple of the soul, and will be resurrected. Cremation is not performed • Burial takes place as soon as possible after death Comforting the Mourner • Specific defined periods of mourning 1. Shiva (7 days) 2. Sheloshim (30 days) 3. Year of mourning • Funerals are simple affairs, vanity is frowned upon o Do not send flowers o Donations to charity preferred

Jewish views on pets and heaven • Often debated- may come down to a philosophical debate over the concept of reward and punishment. • Focus is on the good works you need to do now • Common view: animals have souls that live on and can be elevated

Islam

Death traditions revolve around comforting the dying, and reasserting faith • Quick burial, within 24 hours • Treat body with respect, do not cremate • Weeping accepted but loud crying discouraged • Standard mourning period depending on relationship to the deceased • Cemeteries are very simple, no flowers or candles at the grave • Community supports the bereaved, common tradition of “funeral meal” and gifts of food

Hinduism

Oldest religion on the planet- different from monotheistic religions • Reincarnate until you reach enlightenment • Death is of the physical body, not the soul • Cremation is standard, with dispersal of ashes in a sacred place • priest may lead mantras • Family washes body, perform a wake, and as a group observe the cremation • Official 13 day morning period starts day of cremation • Animals: part of the same cycle we are, evolving into higher forms o Treat your pets as manifestations of the divine

Secular Humanism

Also referred to as “unchurched” Atheist- no belief in God or afterlife • May find comfort in reverting to belief or tradition they grew up in • Even without religion, ritual is a healing process and can take place in a secular context

We need to know the rules and their context to help people give themselves permission when they feel like they should break them. “Rules” can be very comforting but are meant to assist the healing process, not hinder it.

New Trends

Green funerals • Cremations responsible for a good deal of carbon emissions but green burial may help offset this • Space concerns for cemeteries • Newer trends: eco-burials, reefs, trees

Death coming back home • Moved from home to hospital in 50s, but more people are choosing to come home to not only die, but have wake and funeral • Hiring of “death doulas”

Death as a party

If the bereaved want to celebrate the life of their loved one and feel conflicted as the precedent is for funerals to be a somber event, there is plenty of precedent around the world for death come with a party • Balinese cremation ceremonies • Jazz funeral • Turning of the bones • Dia de los Muertos

Additional Reading:

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/do-animals-or-pets-go-to-heaven-a- biblical-analysis/

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3016125/jewish/Do-Animals-Go- to-Heaven.htm

How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, Stuart Matlins

Death, Mourning and Burial: A Cross-Cultural Reader, Antonius C.G.M. Robben

Death and Bereavement Across Cultures: Colin Murray, Pittu Laungani and Bill Young