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How Body Language Can Help--Or Hurt--How You Lead

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How Body Language Can Help--Or Hurt--How You Lead Table Of Contents Title Page Copyright More praise for The Silent Language of Leaders Introduction Oh, the Things I've Seen! The Time Is Right Chapter Outline From Good to Outstanding Chapter 1: Leadership at a Glance Your Three Brains Wired for Body Language The Eye of the Beholder Personal Curb Appeal Five Mistakes People Make Reading Your Body Language When Your Body Doesn't Match Your Words The Body Language of a Great Leader Chapter Two: Negotiation Four Tips for Reading Body Language Are They with You or Against You? Dealing with the Disengaged Are They Bluffing? Body Language Guidelines for Negotiators Chapter 3: Leading Change This Is Your Brain on Change The Body-Mind Connection Announcing Change What Do People Want from You? The Power of Empathy Chapter 4: Collaboration The Universal Need for Collaboration Wired to Connect Six Body Language Tips for Inclusion The Importance of How You Say What You Say Using Space Dress for Success What Your Office Says About You Familiarity Breeds Collaboration Chapter 5: Communicating Virtually and Face-to- Face Technology, the Great Enabler Six Tips for a Conference Call Important Tips for Videoconferencing Technology Brings a New Range of Communication Options What's So Great About Face-to-Face? Chapter 6: He Leads, She Leads The Neuroscience of Gender Why Jane Doesn't Lead Thirteen Gender-Based Differences in Nonverbal Communication Leadership Styles of Men and Women The Body Language of Male and Female Leaders Body Language Tips for Male and Female Leaders Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Chapter 7: Working with Global Teams Culture Cross-Cultural Body Language Lessons Learned Chapter 8: International Body Language Greeting Behaviors Business Cards Time Distance and Touch Eye Contact Seating Emotions Women Closing Words of Advice Chapter 9: The Nonverbal Future of Leadership All Generations Bring Change The New Generation of Workers Gen Y and the Future of Visual Technology The Future of Leadership Predictions for the Future of Body Language Acknowledgments About the Author Notes Introduction Chapter One: Leadership at a Glance: How People Read the Body Language of Leaders Chapter Two: Negotiation: Reading and Using Body Language to Your Advantage Chapter Three: Leading Change: The Nonverbal Key to Effective Change Management Chapter Four: Collaboration: Body Language Cues for Inclusion Chapter Five: Communicating Virtually and Face-to-Face: Close Encounters of the Business Kind Chapter Six: He Leads, She Leads: Gender and the Body Language of Leaders Chapter Seven: Working with Global Teams: Body Language in a Multicultural World Chapter Nine: The Nonverbal Future of Leadership: New Generations and New Technology Index Copyright © 2011 by Carol Kinsey Goman. Al rights reserved. Published by JosseyBass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741—www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions. Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifical y disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shal be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. JosseyBass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact JosseyBass directly cal our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax 317-572-4002. JosseyBass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Goman, Carol Kinsey. The silent language of leaders : how body language can help—or hurt—how you lead / Carol Kinsey Goman. – 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-470-87636-7 (hardback) 1. Body language. 2. Nonverbal communication in the workplace.3. Communication in management. 4. Leadership. 5. Communication in organizations. I. Title. BF637.N66G664 2011 650.1′3–dc22 2010050248 More praise for The Silent Language of Leaders “Learn to align your verbal and non-verbal communication and you are on your way to becoming a better leader. The Silent Language of Leaders is the only book you need to bring yourself up to speed.” —Karen Tucker, CEO, Churchill Club “Successful business executives understand and achieve higher levels of effectiveness when their words are in sync with their body language. Carol Kinsey Goman's new book showcases the important body language techniques needed to build trust in a rapidly changing world. Savvy executives wil use her recommendations immediately to build stronger relationships, shape perceptions, and get results.” —Lee Hornick, program director, The Conference Board, and president, Business Communications Worldwide, Inc. “This book is an outstanding resource to help managers at al levels become better communicators and leaders.” —Shirley Gaufin, chief human resources officer, Black & Veatch Corporation “Whether it's in front of an individual or a large group, communication is a key component of your leadership success. And a major aspect of that success is your body language. This silent method of communication can be deadly if you don't know the signals that you are sending. Carol Kinsey Goman provides a guidebook to help you navigate this complex aspect of leadership.” —Jon Peters, president, The Institute for Management Studies “People don't realize how their true strengths and weaknesses are revealed by their body language. Carol Kinsey Goman's observations and insights are unique.” —Charles Lynch, chairman, Market Value Partners Introduction The Leadership–Body Language Connection Leadership is about communication. You already know that. So, in preparing for an important meeting, you concentrate on what to say, you memorize crucial points, and you rehearse your presentation so that you wil come across as credible and convincing. But did you also know that the people you're speaking to wil have subliminal y evaluated your credibility, confidence, likeability, and trustworthiness in the first seven seconds—before you had a chance to deliver your wel -rehearsed speaking points? Did you know that your use of personal space, physical gestures, posture, facial expressions, and eye contact could already have sabotaged your message? And, most critical y, did you know that any time your words and body language were out of alignment, people believed what they saw and not what you said? So, if you went into that important meeting with al the right words and al the wrong moves, you probably left sensing that things didn't go as wel as you'd hoped. But you might not know why. Leadership is also about building and sustaining positive relationships. You know that too. You travel to meet personal y with key customers, go out with coworkers to get to know them better, arrange “town hal ” meetings in order to interact more closely with frontline workers. But did you know that your ability to accurately read and respond to the body language of others is fundamental to building empathy and rapport? If you misinterpreted and ignored important nonverbal signals from your col eagues, customers, or employees, you probably parted company feeling vaguely dissatisfied with the relationship you'd established, again not knowing why, but realizing something needed to be done about it. That's when you might hire me. I get paid to stalk leaders. Wel , not literal y, but that is how one of my satisfied clients humorously described my services. I'm a professional communicator, the author of eleven business books, and an international keynote speaker. But when I'm not traveling around the world on speaking engagements, I coach people like you—managers, team leaders, entrepreneurs, and senior executives who are looking for ways to become even more effective in their ability to relate with and influence others. So, I stalk—more accurately, “shadow”—these leaders, observing them as they run meetings, interact informal y with employees and col eagues, consult with customers, negotiate business deals, and make formal presentations. Oh, the Things I've Seen! Body language is the management of time, space, appearance, posture, gesture, vocal prosody, touch, smel , facial expression, and eye contact. The latest research in neuroscience and psychology has proven that body language is crucial to leadership effectiveness—and this book wil show you exactly how it impacts a leader's ability to negotiate, manage change, build trust, project charisma, and promote col aboration.
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