online matchmaking in specific national or cultural contexts recognize the recognize contexts cultural or national specific in matchmaking online of Most decade. studies aproduct of last the is largely contexts, religious or secular in whether matchmaking, online possibly because fragmentary, is very matchmaking 1997). online onDonnenwerth Muslim Literature (Petersen positioning and education faith and class, depend onboth age, and competing are sexuality and on perspectives traditional Traditional non- and 2000). (Dwyer settings diasporic postcolonial in evolving gender roles note relations and are gender ideals, that Researchers partner. non-traditional/own and choice of marriage traditional/arranged binary: disputed of often context inevitably, the the in are, posed of Muslims lives the in about role matchmaking the Questions of online Introduction matchmaking aspects, social Muslim women, identity, technology, communication and information websites, Keywords: in the analysis. that emerge identity and faith, of themes ethnicity broad sites matchmaking online discusses and using Muslim women young of profiles of anumber examines paper This required. self-representation and is identities the religious online of the specificity of study comprehensive more amuch context, in the matchmaking its associations and headscarf the of topic the ever-popular on sites Muslim matchmaking of to tend focus studies As websites Muslim are women. among becoming increasingly especially common matchmaking religious the time, At same networks. to search within their wanting not or those unable especially Muslims, young increasingly for challenging proves settings non-diasporic and in both diasporic Finding asuitable partner Abstract: Piela Anna Profiles inMuslim Women’sIdentity OnlineMatchmaking Beyond the Traditional-Modern Faith and Binary: yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011 , pp. 63–89

63 Corresponding author: Anna Piela, University of York, York, YO10 5DD, UK. E-mail: [email protected] demonstrates that a marriage may be both Islamic and non-traditional and (not Islamic both may be amarriage demonstrates that as it of is marriage[2]. interaction is the significant This purpose the and observed long (permissible) halal as as are practices matchmaking, online not authorities against are Islamic principle, notes in that, Bunt further Bunt writes: users. out pool of of entire service candidates the selecting regarding decision-making in members who participate out by carried be it as may still practices, may reinforce traditional online executed matchmaking fact, norms. In cultural and by religious overarched strongly and practicality flexibility indicates that is apractice matchmaking locations). different in that online Buntexample, Forargues (2009:104) conducted conclusionsare questioned by studies These (admittedly other of use technology. the with hand in hand go values religious abandonment and of ties’ family from ‘detachment of individualism, concepts the that indicates matchmaking online and by organized matchmaking and traditional Adesina Ayodele contrast in which way The inter-tribal inter-religious and through . unity Nigerian national the to strengthen capacity it the that has suggest they as matchmaking, on online conclusions introduce amore perspective their they positive in otherpornography, forms However, of and ‘cyber-carnality.’ paedophilia gambling, refer area They of concern’, to as with it ‘an online along family’. Nigerian to ‘contemporary it the poses of challenge terms the in Ayodele and Adesina (2004:104,110) matchmaking online discuss general[1] in context but not Nigerian on the just Muslims focusing While offers. technology that opportunities matchmaking of evaluation the in However, tend partner. to they differ suitable marriage a phenomenonthis of the selecting of process in significance increasing Islamic core. Islamic deep-rooted implicit, familiar, an technology. retain They adjusted compensated and by challenged, –are betrothal relationships – including female male- with concepts associated Inherent cultural-religious yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. purdah 1, 2011 , , and and , engagement,

64 Anna Piela (Imtoual and Hussein 2009:28). Imtoual and Hussein note that difficulties note Hussein difficulties and Imtoual that 2009:28). Hussein and (Imtoual to honor the threat of family a potential the as perceived time same at the but unattractive as women Single communities. may ridiculed be Muslim forharsher are womenin unmarried consequencesThe of remaining to him. to get know not personal did to have through go she that to out seek a Internet on relieved and the opportunity the to had have glad she and was suitable , to suggest refused her because specifically ‘dysfunctional’ as her family described study the in One participant children’s marriages. their intoarranging effort investing not interested are parents where in the cases many are decisions, there individual influence always almost that networks and families Muslim knit of tightly- stereotype to pervasive the Secondly, support. contrary kinship without findharder may find They Muslim to it a much diaspora. the in for orphans, example families, without (2009), other Muslims and pointed Aziz out and by Lo also as converts, particular in network, family without a Muslim existing are thereMuslims option: firstly, auseful may be matchmaking why reasons online two highlighted my in study Participants women. of Muslim lives choice the in one related to of issues partner the as matchmaking online Iaddressed 2009) (Piela research myIn PhD 2003). (Galal marriage may not in result may or which romantic partners potential with meetings denotes online dating of online for purpose the exist that sites by Muslims used also them), are there between order in about amarriage to bring parties two matchmaking term the use and oriented’ ‘marriage as themselves of define many them While use. they terminology the in lies permissibility and It of websites’ indication such is the possible purpose that 2009:106).(Bunt, nohave applies to same objections. The me’ ‘she [the about her parents her informed decision. They bride] already has writes, groom the As vows. marriage suitable make for other and are each they that other’, each ‘spot andestablish countries cultures different from people young cited by and Bunt, two published by MuslimMatch.com members) one In stories of success time. the by family same at the arranged yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011 (mediating between (mediating between ; this ; this

65 Anna Piela (2009:17) by saying: conclude comparison the forindependently. spouses Aziz looking and singles Lo attracts type third ads), (i.e. who networks it parents put is the matrimonial the up the kinship involves entire the matchmaking where types two to first opposed the As with pictures. profile personal extensive an to build opportunity an give other members but which with messages membership to exchange purchase websites where one dating to versions ofhas Muslim general websites are that commercially-driven indicatorare there of compatibility. main the Finally, as information demographicuse They websites devoted to matchmaking. of ISNA their sections have like organizations Islamic ones, where national organization-based together; them matching literally forand spouses looking those lists of keeping by the matchmaker of function the fulfill where imams communities, small relatively mosques in around ones, based local online: found be can that services matchmaking of Muslim types three list Aziz and Lo partners. potential their and themselves in both related to women’s finding the emphasis stronger not on religiosity explain do but Qur’an, they by the amate in is required religiosity genders because forof desirable both Muslims is highly conclude religiosity that Tiemann and Badahdah discussion, 2009:84). their In Tiemann, and (Badahdah men’ were the than religious as themselves to describe were more likely sought amate they they in and acharacteristic as religiosity men listed greaterpercentage ‘a of womenthan Significantly, 2005). Tiemann, and topat the listed (Badahdah was religiosity U.S. among Muslims, spouses future in were most desirable traits which investigated that to research persona’. digital Unsurprisingly, marketable according and a desirable to construct which with awhole language new requires medium new ‘the (2006:381) Chelariu write: and Zwick husband. aMuslim order to attract identities in online women new by many who their create comfortably is considered aconvenient solution problem matchmaking to this Online 2009). Aziz and (Lo Muslims of faithful is expected marriage as unease with in Islam celibacy,by astate is defined regarded adulthood their as desires sexual unfulfilled to with cope women having in Muslim widowed anddivorced unmarried, suitable a for result many husband finding in yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

66 Anna Piela type 3 of the matchmaking services described above. described services 3of matchmaking the type websites, commercially-driven populating profiles concentrates on personal it religion, and on marriage perspectives their including self-expression, women’s of Muslim diversity the to online explore aims paper this As similarly: (2006:381) Chelariu argue and Zwick mainly targeted Muslims. targeted mainly websites other religions), that and two Buddhists selected Ihave Sikhs, Hindus, but excluding Jews, and Christians, comprising Muslims, a group ‘People the amongst of Book’, the tobelievers the limited men are Muslim men and Muslim only to marry women expected are Muslim that fact to join of (despite religion any believers websites the allow matchmaking many Muslim profiles were Whilst open-access)(which withoutan account. me to the read of terms design) allowed in adapted and to of needs Muslims platform the and engine, (independently search a sophisticated ads, posted criteria the necessary all fulfilled that two ablewebsites. to Iwas identify matchmaking Muslim of commercially-driven There is a multitude websites matchmaking The method and Data spouse searching rather than adherence to cultural conventions. to adherence cultural than rather searching spouse site 3] [of promotesmatchmaking type efficient effective and the online theself, of competition, commodification and needs, and of wants pursuit individualistic an By encouraging values. dating Muslim traditional sites harbour that bono pro Islamic or those in system, intermediary traditional the in or allowed not available often of choices is range this Expressing ambitions feelings. and concerns, issues, personal their to express opportunity and ability the of percentage participants, overwhelming up women, the who make especially users, It gives yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

67 Anna Piela and living arrangements, as well as level of level education, as occupation and well as arrangements, living and citizenship, of origin, or country websitesBoth on questions include ethnicity U.K. the in based mostly werepaper this of theand selected forpurpose I browsed profiles the thus computers); (detecting of numbers users’ IP branches visitors to national either. Website its Finally, transfers B automatically not ‘Married’ include -but it does ‘Anulled’ and separated’ by Websitegiven ‘Legally it lists A, state addition three to –in the marital on the choice ofa wider answers for Website aspouse. search the Boffers (or streamlining thus otherwise), prayer the perform always and halal, keep always a hijab or a beard, wear religious, very who are to only candidates search the set One accept. can can they on religion whose views to candidates searches their toothers narrow allows of detail (‘Always’, degree ‘Sometimes’, This ‘Never’). ‘Usually’, How Salaah[5]? do often you perform home do not only’, halal’); ‘I keep at halal keep ‘I halal’, keep usually ‘I halal’, keep always (‘I about Halal?’ not ‘Are to say’); you arevert[4] (‘yes’, you to are Islam?’ ‘no’); strict ‘How (‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘Hijab’ to say’); (‘yes’, ‘prefer ‘no’, not ‘Beard’ to say’); ‘prefer religious’, ‘religious’,(‘very ‘somewhat religious’, ‘not religious’, ‘prefer not questions:‘Religiousness’ seven contains section ‘Religion’ The is required. WebsiteOn is more signup process Bthe complex more and information fact. this signalling from or a fourth for third, a second, men looking married already precluding or ‘Divorced’, ‘Widowed’, married’, ‘Never state are related marital to the options The notonly mentioned are versions option of an at Islam as all. unorthodox or Sufi, Salafi, the as such one groups, category. Muslim Other combined are together in other religions and unacknowledged are Shiism madhabs Sunni on different is clearly - Shia’,‘Muslim and ‘Other’. The emphasis Maliki’, - - Shafi’,‘Muslim ‘Muslim -Hanafi’, ‘Muslim -Hanbali’, aMuslim’, ‘Just answers: ‘Muslim religion-related only the question presents 7 possible is straightforward; category. The sign-up is adefault search process ‘any country’ and of origin of country any people’. selection ‘serious it that allows in scope It in is global Website website’ for A[3] marriage Muslim a‘serious as itself markets yber C yber O rient, Vol. (sects) of Islam, while divisions in in (sects) divisions while of Islam, 5, Iss. 1, 2011

68 Anna Piela analysis; secondly, it enables the researcher to assign codes to fragments to codes fragments secondly, to assign it researcher enablesanalysis; the of process manual the of much more than data handling the it allows for ti anumber of reasons: firstly, to Atlas Idecided of use data. fragments present and but relevant computer helpsthe manipulate not does calculate, that in analysis considerably quantitative form differs research qualitative Computer-assisted in organisation. and analysis coding data in to aid designed acomputer ti, package of use Atlas by the facilitated was 2000), (Hine ethnography virtual through obtained data, the of analysis The process analysis The 3% (1) and of alevel faith. religious’ not did specify ‘religious’, as (18) 54% themselves ‘somewhat religious’, 6% (2), ‘not very (4) religious’, (8) 12% 24% faith were ‘very Islamic defined they indicated of of level jobs. terms In the worked managerial but in they indicated status educational 6% (2)completed their while school, not high did reveal Some 15%15% (5) a non-degreehave (5) professionallist qualification. 58% (19) Masters; as degree highest aBachelor’s have afurther degree; achievements: 6% (2) educational indicate their list participants Many the is and48. oldest is 35-45. group 21 age the in participant The youngest 18-24: group age the in are 67% (11) 25-34:, group age the in (9) 27% are sample is 32; (3) the 6% in 9% and (2) age Mean USA. the in of participants 3% (1) UK, the 6% (2) Singapore, in Indonesia, 3% in (1) Seychelles, the in in based (27) are 84% married; 63% never while divorced follows: 36% are as is thedataparticipants on of aphoto Statistical profile. adeveloped and the presence were forcriteria selection The above. only websites described sampleA random two of 33 women’sthefrom selected been has profiles Profiles Western countries. most in age marriage of 18 members age as legal –the minimum the set etc.) spouse, the in websites Both also qualities desired qualities, personal websites (age, by matchmaking/dating included questions other ‘standard’ yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

69 Anna Piela perceived as an act that would literally bring them back on the path of path on Islam: the back them bring literally would that act an as perceived is Muslim to aknowledgeable marriage Sometimes . future their with to share like would they is one activities of of key Islam the knowledge mention often developing that participants and process dynamic a very as comes across Religion marriage. husband and of aperfect expectations their defining in as well as interests, and convictions qualities, own their in describing one’s to referred religion to construct profile. Participants the concept is employed in which of religion ways the as do cases, the in differs of profiles rolein construction a leading plays religion extent to which The Religion themes Emerging problematic. contributions ethically may be participants’ (2004:153) rewriting that Markham with I agree decision, as aconscious was errors, its typographical with form of data, the original the mine. Preserving mentionedthat emphasiswas where Ispecifically exceptions a few with emphases, and errors typographical all maintained andhave I form, their original in are profiles quotes participants’ from All and 2004:64). (Joffe Yardley interpretations of for data counterevidence it the alternative helps to assess finally, and of data; comparison systematic to facilitate visually displayed and linked be quotes and can since codes process analysis the in relevant of tocontext aquote is the access which quick itsegments; thirdly, allows relevant of control deal acceleration of to and process great retrieving the a giving thus code, to the according later be retrieved can which of text and learn more eachother. from UK) learn (Asma, and my knowleage to share like will comes along Right Mr When aday. to pray 5times more about my try deen and learning I am UK) H, (Fazila Inshallah. muslim. a me as betters of process Ihope marriage the deen as their (...) want] - [I touch most with in someone important and with yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

70 Anna Piela candidate: of ideal the belonging) sect and knowledge practices, of faith, (strength positioning the religious of description around a detailed were built profiles a define the rarely cases ‘good Muslim’,althoughin a few Participants her actions: to justify Qur’an the most be appropriate would that for One them. of quoted them candidate a responsible for are selecting they that claim participants the contrary, dating. the On online in participating of individuals characteristic for noted (2010) ahusband, by Hanvey searching acommon as online independentthedue to or awkwardness There is no embarrassment 2001:932) (Hassouneh-Phillips of faith’ the ‘half as of marriage praise Prophet reports Muhammad’s that refer to ahadith completion of act an as understood is also commitment Marriage and to Islam. faith of level their to raise intention an of participants many suggests further ‘somewhat as religious’ self-assessment of of participants 54% the religious the with in conjunction act, as a religious perception of marriage This someone that is an American Revert. (Alia, United States) United (Alia, Revert. someone American is an that prefer Iwould Musjid. to the pray in Also wife his allow will purely.day, a that times He to needs and praybe aman five of profit the sunnah follow the and heart the from Muslim passionatebe a has to He tasfiir. itrecite with qua’ran knowing can and iman, high has that of taqwa, Full deen. is on his that brother togood a Muslim find words: looking myIn own Iam UK) (Lei10, state [themselves]. their do not change 11] Ar-Ra’d: [Quran: condition the of long not people they as as change will Allah UK) (Sania, someone with special. my life my share deen and Now test. for its Ifeel each time me tome complete through for helping Allah to Ithank me and is important My religion yber of one’s faith, a crowning of of one’s one’s some and women path, a crowning Islamic faith, C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

71 Anna Piela ethnicity and status: and ethnicity is a“good man the of is that Muslim”, religious as regardless themselves However, women most frequent amongst the requirement who define com): website at www.marryaconvert. matchmaking (there aspecialized is even ‘born Muslims’ andsome frequentamongst converts is other profile, Alia’s in expressed arevert, preference for religious Another marrying 2005:56). 37% (Jamal women as high amongst ismosque as attendance population, Detroit Muslim active politically the like somein places, to attend jum’ah prayer (the prayer). Friday congregational However, required men are only interpretations, to most according religious that the fact be may these proportions One affecting of factors up the 78%. to contrast men U.S. in who mosques, in make 15% praying of those Perl Froehles (2001) and who found women that accounted for only by Bagby, of study context the the in understood better be mosque can thein praying Alia not object to will the that husband expectation The personality. (Sameera, Singapore) (Sameera, personality. & brother of character long good he is apractising as As Muslim. or aborn It brother the not is arevert does if matter UK) (Sayeeda, 4amuslim!!! lookin im and amuslim hubby!!! IM Pakistani for atraditional not Im and looking Pakistani no atraditional in way I am UK) (Naseema, issue job, money....not status, cast, for amuslim, looking I am an UK) together at (StarryEyes, pace. asteady Islam learn can we so myself like It to nice meet be arevert would Seychelles) (MissLovely, to islam. who reverted have brothers to know interested getting in particularly I am yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

72 Anna Piela groups. This is a commonly expressed view in Muslim women’sin view Muslim online expressed is acommonly This groups. cultural by these espoused interpretations of Islam with merged have that and religion dominant is the Islam which in groups of ethnic traditions denotedcustomsand profiles. usually It connotations analyzed the in negative very had participants, by the frequently very used aterm ‘Culture’, backgrounds ethnic and ‘Culture’ a‘good be Muslim’. still and contract, her in marriage so stating to avoid, may woman wish for by of a Muslim example relationship that (according comes across atype as to participants) analysis this in on women’s 2011), (Piela research on polygamy my in previous As views preferenceQur’an), wife: only for personal the but is the being there rather by the (as some in circumstances it is not is permitted challenged polygamy is not suitable for However, of them. of institution the marriage type this concluded relationships have that polygamous in experiences previous their about who Those speak do aco-wife. interest being in an expressed womennone profile, whoAmongst made areference their in to polygamy UK) best..(Afsoon, knows allah and permit, circumstances 2 do if right the ahusband has is something a2nd/3rd/4th wife take option the to inshala and ofbrother reason simplicity 4the asingle prefer iwould to marry aco-wife, of issue being the no ihave problems although best. with knows allah factors, not did situations work the out times dueboth to external aco-wife, as times both twice, married been previously I have Singapore) (Sameera, my weakness. Allah(swa) forgive him. May share to difficult find it would end I so very the till my heart all with person to this wish ireally idea as the with uncomfortable iam a woman Polygamy but not as i am against aMuslim As aco-wife. as or going butI do not to becoming not lie in iam keen wish yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

73 Anna Piela Muslim community: Muslim prejudices common Asian and the in mechanisms as see whatfrom they 1971).Goldschmidt tend off to themselves cut participants the addition, In and (Michaelson Pakistan and India including cultures patriarchal many in holds that aphenomenon late into their and adulthood, present men bond strong between the regarding scorn and her opposition to ‘culture’ LL70 made reference by to sarcastic apronjii’s The ‘mama suggests strings’ of Islam: teachings with them sentiments contrasting opposition their to mere ‘cultural’ express strongly Accordingly, 2006). participants the interpretations (Barlas culture-based outcome of specific unfortunate an been have sources applications of Islamic patriarchal that who argue feminists Muslim for among of example Islam, repertoire[7] nature on the interpretative discussions prevalent Muslim in very is a narrative culture’ vs. ‘Islam This beliefs. and practices of Islamic 2004:139). for blamed Consequently,(Ramadan contamination are these considered Islamic as customs to many mistakenly be causing what is ‘cultural’, of what is Islamic[6] understanding an and achieve to failed have Muslims 2009:184) many that (Ramadan Muslims amongst discussions general in 2011),debates (Piela and ‘cyber-environments’ 2009) (Bunt other Islamic most Asian families do. (Razia, UK) do. (Razia, families most Asian don’t someone whose family like play politics to marry like I’d nonsense. (LL70, UK) cultural notme. Im said interested the in contact DONT please guys, seriously then or practice, values no have Islamic and culture and onto apron jiis mama strings are] you [If hanging for abackbone filling. lacking box of culture achocolate in boywrapped ribbon amummies NOT after Im United States) (Alia, my from heart. straight comes aMuslim being and religion, with I don’t culture mix UK) me (Aleesha, don’t well Deen, of emailing our bother &don’t importance the more know you into are culture If your yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

74 Anna Piela divisions socially and creating ‘convert communities’. creating and socially divisions racial overcoming converts in resulted African-American) white and (both suspicion converts contexts towards Muslim Asian predominantly in that (2008:142) community. Karim reported Muslim American the within contribute that factors emergence to enforcement the and of divisions the (2008), who explored by Karim discussed been has Muslims among discrimination post-conversion. face the latter Racial difficulties social in result some in communities converts prejudice against racist and 2007), non-Muslim and (Gorak-Sosnowska contexts 2005:5) majority (Zeleza Muslim traditionally both in evidences, common literature as consciousness, the groupsin ethnic particular with of association Islam contemporary The expects her future relationship to be built on this principle: on relationship this to built be her future expects she and marriage in equality in sheto suitors that believes her potential hadith to the referred relationship One work. participant the to make themselves like a spouse women’s reflected they they self-perceptionsneed that andown aconviction noteducation women were listed because aleader or needed Rather, a‘rock’. and manners good intelligence, independence, maturity, respectfulness, gentleness, as such traits Positive varied. defined it was which in ways the although profiles, concept all in important an was Compatibility marriage. Islamic perceptions an of in gender their formulated roles responsibilities and clearly have thatparticipants suggesting profiles, the in delineated carefully very are profiles the in husband expressed future the regarding Expectations partnership and compatibility Empowerment, wife home (LL70,wife UK) you took you if awhite disown would whose parents No guys suggests that women expect partnership relations: partnership women that expect suggests acompanion, friend, abest be would man’ ‘ideal the A hope that UK) right beside you. (Jameelah99, are below you,they notWomen you,or above are rib,they mans the made from are yber C idea of creation of the woman from a man’s rib to signal idea of aman’s from of woman creation the to signal rib yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

75 Anna Piela face-to-face dating that might be impossible due to religious beliefs, here many face-to-face here many might impossible beliefs, be that due to dating religious to (2003), alternative dating an where as some people young wentonline online of Egyptian study Galal’s in participants Unlike married. unless unavailable sexually as identity their construct controlled, not socially are whereby they spouse a Internet, women anon-traditional the that mode of using finding 2009:27-8). important Hussein and (Imtoual It especially promiscuity is thus of impious alabel and stigma contacts social face sexual free maintaining women unmarried addition, in Islam; in not relationships allowed are marital Extra- friend. or a not a a husband, spouse, to a legitimate find websites matchmaking to online subscribe they that clear very are Participants women: many by of arelationship is shared understanding adynamic Such progress. mutual encourage and to support together develop and opportunity butin, aperfect is not astate remain as to seen passively Marriage Islamically. and personally grow also to compatible women be they that in with expected Men are with and grow with. (StarryEyes, UK) (StarryEyes, with. grow and with at life’s miracles amazed be with, cry Someone to with, laugh UK) (StarryEyes, to myself. nature in similar to earth, down and too, mature to help me Islam in someone knowledgeable who prays, soul, apositive me, in out best the bring someone who will Someone Idon’t me, acompanion, older than abeard, mind one’. (Sassy, UK) who‘the is in determining criteria is no there sure-fire that conditions; I do I realise said not want That set strict to nature. for someone looking to compliment easy-going I am my UK) (Razia, friend. best be my will who Aman flame. twin their equal, their me as compatible. are Someone who souls sees two just a number if preferably aged 38-50 partner for but is age alife looking I am yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

76 Anna Piela citizenship either. citizenship just for their do not to they married want be to country; another relocating not women do the only not reversed; consider and is challenged parents the of country native to the ahusband in or a arranged of an United or United the the States.in set-up The Kingdom a visa to obtaining aspringboard as status spouse’s order in to their citizenship use enter amarriage whowant may to individuals of foreign wary extremely are participants The communicators: cut men’sshort also through online They them attempts befriend to not and to intending marry: dating just seeking individuals discourage meant to disclaimer include a profiles Visa applications to stay in this country!* Razia, UK) Razia, Visa country!* applications to this in stay London.from I’m not interested helping in one their out with you are and Citizen a British contact you are me only if *Please WARNED! youon been (Deen789, have that United States) time do for notis desperate bored your and friends waste actually idon’tOnce again, ahomie, need or amate or abuddy who is UK) (LL70, prevent marriage from that them or hangups issues with No guys UK) (Jameela99, allah, Inshaa or arelationship,, for here only Iam marriage for I don’t looking brothers of islam to with bothered want be you :o) UK) (Sayeeda, don’t I’m you know for too good my time, waste far respond and involvedandor please players, men, note, married afinal On Seychelles) (MissLovely, about marriage. serious are who brothers insh’Allah to know interested getting only in I am yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

77 Anna Piela quality, physical attraction was listed as significant by fifteen participants. fifteen by significant as listed was attraction physical quality, most important the as not was regarded attractiveness physical Whilst didwish be contactedto not by or They unfit men whowereshort. looks. suitors’ potential of judging chance asimilar have should they of themselves, have provided thatthey photographssince argued The women profiles. on their to contact but them photographs without tended to disapprove of men trying concerned men’s afrequent disclaimer photographs.Finally, Participants beings: complement,sought he can that so human not complete individual as them is aand husband empowered; fulfilled as feeling come They across networks. strong within operate already they indicate They families. and friends, references contain socializing, profiles to all for almost ahusband or friends; neitherWomen need to desperate in keen are point out they that also are practices leisure through of femininity boundaries traditional the Pushing gentleness, caring responsibilities and home-based hobbies is not common common not is hobbies home-based and responsibilities caring gentleness, by concepts of obedience, framed femininity, Traditionally constructed myself and my life as it as UK) (Sayeeda, is. my and life myself content Iam complex”! with a“divorced I don’t with myself see find one :-)(LL70, UK) to even or struggle too guy Im old, ayounger need by assuming one afast on me to pull dont too please so try quite sharp Im Singapore) (Sameera, idea. the pls drop then me, by marrying Singapore in life better a to find looking uare if So mothersingle who is underpaid. for a no to in anyone situation iam provide visa as iam Btw US) (Alia, Idont as please!! my to only time. want waste citizen UK/USA yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

78 Anna Piela through activities such as hiking, jogging and weight lifting at the gym. gym. at the weight and lifting jogging hiking, as such activities through and fit active were physically they that emphasized participants Many spouse: of her future class social preferred the and class social indicators of as her serve occupation may of also her prestigious a disclosure her long-term. with emphasis coupled interests, elite on rather An such with connoisseur, prove thus more and compatible art an her as recognise tastes, her acquired share will spouse future that a used to ensure code, a specific may constitute art in trends and names The career. mentionartists’ of successful as complementing art her about her interest fine in talked One participant not suitors. conceited to to as come potential across or dull order possibly in achievements, their and to themselves ofamount distance agreat display they time, same At the spouses. forwomen similar looking independent andsocially of financially image an creating interests, acquired education, unusual/ and about occupation, their at length talk participants women Internet. on The amongst the who spouses independently seek my first love, French Impressionist painters. (Sayeeda, UK) love, myImpressionist French first painters. (Sayeeda, to back drifting myself but finding Dali to appreciate surrealist trying galleries art around wandering be can found of office I the not confines the London. in in When I’m working lawyer, aCity doing. UK) (Jasmine, I love which event organiser a charity am on sideand the I also by night... amusician and by day Investment Banker an I am anyone??? UK) ideas (Razia, any abusiness of starting thinking stable...hehe. actually Iwas NHS is ajob the in astable Ihave job but NHS. again, the then in working currently manager old Informatics year a25 I am UK) nerdin a big -even bigger nerdy job! fledged :D (Zahra, a fully gone have and to be to anerd. be I used Inow it have writing in yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

79 Anna Piela that Aisha, a role model for many contemporary Muslim women, arole fought Muslim model for contemporary Aisha, many that Fasting 2003:52-54). and (Walseth strong’ to ‘keep reported It is also orders Muslims Qur’an the and to run Aisha encouraged Muhammad Prophet it the as is documented that sports, in women to participate encourage does interpretations. Islam and history help the of Islamic with choices lifestyle feminine’ ‘untraditionally their interested framing in more be would study women that this in consumer society, it is likely of preferences context apostmodern, such the problematized in Jagger Whilst gender binaries. traditional escaping to as represent themselves where she men women and both concludedadvertisements that preferred (1998) Jagger’s in study also evident courage) was on dating stamina, attributes (strength, masculine This emphasis strong traditionally on sports: Some of embraced them extreme football: and Women categories. cars feminine with to fascination confessed into stereotypically fell rarely participants by the hobbiesand described Interests husbands. their to do with now would like they which to travel, opportunity an had Nine not women having mentioned regretted they that great fun. (Jasmine, UK) (Jasmine, fun. great been have which lessons up flying taken recently also I have too. (LL70, UK) at paintballing acrack snorkel, and fancy swim Ican a while, for am] [I not abit travelled of biking, atomboy quad too, like UK) (Sameera, Bliss! comeand home to utd a match of telly.on Manchester the shopping the all to carry acar around, to drive car Afast want. shopping. and agirl more can What cars Ilove football, well UK) (Asma, Cricket. and Boxing F1, Football, Ilove my sport also cars & performance I’m motor atotal ilove head when prestige as it comes to cars yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

80 Anna Piela remarked: For non-Muslims, by many Zahra not permitted. are example, fun as considered contacts, sexual illicit and gambling drinking, as such activities way. halal – the of Islam Therefore, limits the within however, always lives, to enjoy their claimed fun-lovers; as they themselves women described of the half Over dataset. the across aconcept cutting was strongly Fun uneducated. most importantly, religiously and, politics, science and in on uninterested fashion, focused squeamish, as to seen be shebreath refuses one In snails. and frogs snakes, worms, not rats, does and mind Islamically’ [is] History, and Archaeology, issues, current read quite well becoming she Scientist, New that prefers to ‘NatGeo, read least’, stating the instead foron sayend, to tedious hours shopping stuff or for designer clothes, she that is ‘not of afan claims one of participants time, the same At the enjoyable: inherently are enjoyed they are because ‘roots’, –which to opposed other activities as feminine to their participants the connects that activity an as deliberately side’.‘feminine her that shoppingseems It is mentionedreflecting housework pastimes and as cooking listed shopping. one participant Only usually pastimes, feminine someout references with to more traditionally long accounts profiles, sport-relatedof the In interests tend be balanced to 2003:33). 656 (Phillips, AD in of Camel the Battle the in of back on acamel the there’s much else to do - i mean we’re hardly going to all go go there’s to to we’re going all much do else -imean hardly out! it lets -cos face you’reEating ,if Idon’t aMuslim, think UK) (Asma, out shopping time less but don’t awoman! fooled be i’m still ispend most of at bit work my time gym....a Currently and UK) shopping. to roots, Ilike my (Jasmine, female true ,staying however career; astrong forI have asuccessful yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

81 Anna Piela Asian women by Parmar (1995). women by Parmar Asian Britsh among observed spaces isolation public from exclusion leisure and the do not reflect narratives study.this by However,participants’ confirmed is partly this family, and and Singleton centre upon community the (2006) by Green and women, discussed Asian by South safe as seen spaces Leisure U.K. the in Mirza Shazia as stand-up such female comedians, Muslim (Van of Iraq Ayatollah Sistani Nieuwkerk 2008:173). even are There comedy the show Allah Grand Me Made by the Funny issued regarding halal be can fun observe, participants however, these as literature, the in to ‘fun’ linked is rarely Islam and aspirations amongst Muslim women West. the in Muslim amongst aspirations and gender lifestyles, relationships, positions, evolving personal-political beliefs, religious juxtaposing and of of balancing ways a snapshot of variety the gives article This unstudied. remain lives Muslim of ‘ordinary’ areas many topics terrorism) and code (mostly dress certain to apreoccupation with US. Due and Europe in Muslims amongst related to marriage expectations or marriages, on literature Muslim There is not sociological much independently. spouses potential to find Muslims enabling through marriage idea ofthe Islamic a halal promote they matchmaking, family-facilitated to traditional, alternative websites an constitute discussed the Whilst philosophies. or personal religions in choices grounded choices; it rather facilitates related to lifestyle priorities dictate hardly can itself found technology that has study this institution, an as marriage undermines matchmaking online that (2004) Ayodele’s and to Adesina Contrary argument of marriage. institution the in andrelation to generally life some in offers insights into their priorities profiles into women’s glimpse Muslim brief matchmaking This online Conclusions for a bit of fam-o time - successfully! (Zahra, UK) (Zahra, for abit -successfully! of fam-o time together my family all bring can that activity THE generally out, that’s eating Iluuurve we? So pubout are hit the and yber C yber O , which has been confirmed by a positive fatwa positive fatwa by a confirmed been has , which rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

82 Anna Piela women run the risk of being categorized as desperate and somehow and desperate as categorized of being risk the women run marriage, by idealizing arelationship;by entering other on hand, the tocategory leavethe choose subsequently and way apositive in singleness construct to convincingly for state it women, they is difficult as category’ a‘troubled as singleness describe Wetherell and (2004) Reynolds teaching. to Islamic not contrary did act they husband, right to the her woman the gives Islam As proceedings. divorce ones the who were the initiated they that suggested marriages of previous accounts their and were mydivorced career”. to build Others hard working much patience whilst with approached topicI have the that of marriage to work-related admit “I said: commitments. One of participants the possibly due Somethem married, were of never finance. and accounting science, management, nursing, as such areas in or professional careers education higher either pursue study this in participants all behaviour; of halal boundaries thempersonal set to allows also authority This choices. other and religious regarding responsibility comes with which authority able religious to are exercise they concerned, are lives personal their as far ‘good is appropriate.as Muslim’, Thus, of level religiosity i.e. his whether able is example, a are, candidate for a whether to judge They selection. the dent make and ablecriteria to are these set they searching spouse indepen- Through attraction. physical and partnership, equality, on concepts built of compatibility, usually are visions Such relationships. future visions their of well-defined displaying thus qualities, undesirable his regarding reservations their express also They spouse. of ideal the looks the and character the regarding out expectations spelled carefully women the have relation to in religion, high bar the setting from Aside not aleader or process, as head of family. learning this in supporter and apartner as Ahusband is seen Muslims. as spiritually and intellectually to themselves develop willingness their and Muslims, as shortcomings their consciousness their of lives, their in of religion significance the Women sitesnumber of rules. match-making emphasize often on these not by aset concept does astatic as come constricted Religion across yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

83 Anna Piela as entirely ‘tomboyish career women’ – they mention activities associated associated women’ mention career ‘tomboyish –they activities entirely as self-representation their they do notto construct offer.time, thesame At public sphere the has of opportunities advantage take homethe actively and their movements do not thesphere they confine to of participants, female Singleton’s Green and Unlike of femininity. Asian British boundaries the push cars), actively they repairing planes, flying shooting, (paintball of men domain the as perceived traditionally activities in Engaging suitable’ partner. for only a‘Islamically ‘single category’ consider whoout woman thesingle would asatisfied of moving as herself category, spinster’ she but notthat does portrays represent ‘desperate the signals clearly Shesuitable, ME!’ for tosomeone find Islamically trying not shot, one by aloooooog desperate As just of women ‘Im the writes: research. Wetherell’s to and compared women (2004) as Reynolds in study women troubled for this less in Muslim the category singleness the out and in of may render moving matchmaking online through candidate a to select ability the choice, and areligious as of marriage construction one) Islamic from the to them, that among separate suggests a husband (and, it of proportion as by self-instigated high is indicated find to participants of many willingness choices. The lifestyle similar and of education comparable levels with providers’, prefer but partners also study.this in by profiles evidenced Womenwish‘visa do be to notalso is from overseas candidates to marry reluctance roles (2009:28). This of gender incompatibleas of terms education in understanding and partners consider often ‘imported’ girls very these addition, in 2009:28); Hussein, and (Imtoual sons’ therefore and to their unsuitable be inappropriately as Westernised parents considered Muslim by many are girls second- third-generationis because notand This least Muslim outside of marriage. whilst desires it is possible sexual to suppress female of happy celibate’, the ‘myth that the to have abelief enact they networks, immediate their in partners ofFaced appropriate alack marriage with outside desires of marriage. sexual their release to unable legitimately are Wetherell’s and women study, Reynolds they in as tocontrast secular positively,singleness in toconstruct womendifficult find Muslim it thatsingle many and report deficient (2009) Imtoual Hussein spinsters. yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

84 Anna Piela Minority Affairs 29(1): 83-90. Affairs Minority of Muslim Journal Muslims. among of Preferences Study ACase Cyberspace: through Selection Mate and Religion 2009. Tiemann A. Katherine and M. Abdallah Badahdah, 26:432-440. Behavior Human and Evolution America. in living Muslims among criteria selection Mate 2005. Tiemann A. Katherine and M. Abdallah Badahdah, 8(2):103-135. Review Sociological African Institution. Family Nigerian Contemporary for the A Challenge for Matchmaking/Dating: Internet the Shaping 2004. Ayodele Olabisi Wale and Adesina, References paper. of this draft early comments for on helpful the Migdał Magda and Joseph Covey Samuels, Feldman, Professor Professor Shelley Geoffrey to thank like I would Acknowledgements hijab of concept the through moment at mostly the lives, represented research in contribute would of to their a more complex experiences understanding and women’s of exploration Muslim research ‘non-orthodox’ interests Further concepts. distant of seemingly juxtapositions these exemplifying thus twist’, atraditional with a‘proud girl amodern was Muslim, British she said non-Muslim and Muslim One participant environments. values, between in in between, Bhabha from -aspace (1994), space’ drawing ‘third Muslim the called (2000), Khan what occupy They extremes. and stereotypes nor religious the understood basis of be on neithergender willing are womenThese out other the somewhat balance impression. X-factor the or watching shopping, that as crafts, such femininity, with yber , and the grim phenomena of forced marriages and honor and phenomena killings. of grim forced the , and marriages C yber Islamism and Orientalism, traditional and secular secular and traditional Orientalism, and Islamism O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

85 Anna Piela com/34/02/3402359.html, accessed October 23, 2010. 23, October accessed com/34/02/3402359.html, Center. http://gradworks.umi. Research and School Graduate Saybrook thesis, Ph.D. Unpublished Dating. Online of Experience Lived The 2010. Eugene Janaka Hanvey, 853-871. 40(5): Sociology Place. and Space Negotiating Young Women at Leisure: Bodies Risky 2006. Singleton Carrie and Eileen Green, 60(1): 75-84. Studies) of Oriental (Annual Orientalistyczny Rocznik Textbooks. Polish in of Islam Misperception and Perception 2007. Katarzyna Górak-Sosnowska, 14, 2010. November accessed edu/cca/gmj/fa03/graduatefa03/gmj-fa03-galal.htm, 2(3). lass.calumet.purdue. Journal Media Global Egypt. in Dating Online 2003. Injy Galal, 23(4): Forum 475-486. International Women’swomen. Studies Muslim Asian South Young British identities: diasporic Negotiating 2000. Claire Dwyer, Press. Carolina North of NC: University Hill, Chapel of Islam. House the Rewiring iMuslims: 2009. Gary Bunt, Routledge. London: of Culture. Location The 1994. Homi Bhabha, 2010. 19, November accessed meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/4/0/7/3/3/p407335_index.html, http://www.allacademic.com/ 24. May IL, Chicago Association, Society and Law The of the meeting annual at the presented Paper Online. Sharia of the Interpretation the Websites and Religious Messenger? Instant over Married IGet Can 2010. Hussin Iza and Jessica Beyer, of Texas Press. University Austin: Qur’an. the of Interpretations Patriarchal Unreading Women” Islam: in “Believing 2006. Asma Barlas, 2010. 22, November accessed pdf, http://higginsctc.org/terrorism/Masjid_Study_Project_2000_Report. Relations. Islamic on American- D.C.: Council Washington Project. Study aMosque from AReport Portrait. A National America: in Mosque The T. 2001. Froehle Bryan Perl and M. Paul Bagby, Ihsan, yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

86 Anna Piela among Peasants. Southwestern Journal of Anthropology 27(4): 330-352. of Anthropology Journal Southwestern Peasants. among Dominance Male and 1971. Roles Female Walter Goldschmidt and Evalyn Michaelson, 131-145. Pp. eds. Jon G. Hall, and Chen York: S. New Peter Lang. Ling Sensitivity. of Context AMatter Ethnographies: Online in Representation 2004. Anette Markham, www.usask.ca/relst/jrpc/art21(3)-MuslimMarriage.html, accessed November 11, 2010. 21(3). Culture, http:// Popular and of Religion Journal Muslims. American by Matchmaking Internet of Use The Online: Goes Marriage Muslim 2009. Taimoor Aziz and Mbaye Lo, Press of Florida University FL: Gainesville, Identity. American aNorth Women: Crafting Muslim 2000. Shahnaz Khan, Press Women. York: New NYU Muslim American 2008. Jamillah Karim, Sage. London: 56-68. Pp. Yardley,eds. Lucy and F. David Marks Psychology, Health and for Clinical In analysis. thematic and Content 2004. Lucy and Yardley Hélène Joffe, 1(1): Women’s East Studies of Middle 53-78. Journal Muslims. American Arab among Differences Gender and Identity, Collective Muslim 2005. Amaney Jamal, 32(4): 795-814. Sociology Society. Consumer aPost Modern, in Dating Other: an Buying Self, the Marketing 1998. Elizabeth Jagger, 3(1): Islam 25-39. Contemporary relationships. contemporary negotiating women Muslim celibate: happy of the myth the Challenging 2009. Hussein Shakira and Alia Imtoual, Sage. London: Ethnography. Virtual 2000. Christine Hine, 927-946. 7(8): Women Against Violence Muslims. American Among Spousal and Marriage Allah”: Fear is Rest the and of Faith Half is “Marriage 2001. Sadaat Dena Hassouneh-Phillips, yber In Online Social Research: Methods, Issues, and Ethics. Mark D. Johns, Shing- D. Johns, Mark Ethics. and Issues, Methods, Research: Social Online C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011 Research Methods Methods Research

87 Anna Piela accessed July 19, July 2010. accessed http://www.codesria.org/IMG/pdf/zeleza.pdf, Maputo. Africa, in Research Science of Social Development for the Council of the Assembly 11th at the General presented Paper History. of African Globalization Towards the Silences: the Banishing 2005. Tiymbe Paul Zeleza, 38(1): of Sport 45-60. Sociology for the Review International Islam. Women Interpreting Egyptian Sport: and Activity on Physical View Islam’s 2003. Fasting Kari and Kristin Walseth, 2(3): 169-176. Islam Contemporary Introduction. An Entertainment: and Leisure of Art, Notions Contested Sphere: Cultural Islamic an Creating 2009. Karin Van Nieuwkerk, 489-510. 13(4): Psychology and Feminism Identity. for Women’s of aSingle Negotiation Consequences the Singleness: of Climate Discursive The 2003. Wetherell Margaret and Jill Reynolds, Press. University Oxford Oxford: Liberation. and Ethics Islamic Reform: Radical Tariq 2009. Ramadan, Press. University Oxford Oxford: of Islam. Future the and Muslims Western Tariq 2004. Ramadan, Routledge World. London: Virtual the in Identity and Faith Women Online: 2011. Muslim Anna Piela, of York. University for Women’s Studies, Centre thesis, Ph.D. Unpublished Discussions. Women’s Muslim Online 2009. Anna Piela, Group. York: Publishing New Rosen of Iraq. Atlas AHistorical 2003. Larissa Phillips, Forces 75(3): 1071-1088. Social Sex. Premarital about on Beliefs Religion of Influence the and 1997. V. Secularization Gregory Donnenwerth and R. Larry Petersen, 152-160. FNSpon. Eand London: Pp. eds. Tomlinson, Alan and Peter Braham Crichter, Chas AReader. of Leisure: Sociology to Youth In Work Practice. Challenge the Power: and 1995. Race Gender, Pratibha Parmar, yber C yber O rient, Vol. 5, Iss. 1, 2011

88 Anna Piela by familiar clichés, anecdotes and tropes’. and anecdotes clichés, familiar by distinguished often talk people’s in found evaluations and descriptions of arguments, routines [7] ‘recognizable as repertoires interpretative Wetherell and (2003:7) describe Reynolds (2009:183-206). Ramadan see intellectual, Muslim aprominent by thought Islamic in of role culture of the discussion For informed an interpretations. and sources of other validity on the no agreement is there of Islam, source main the as Qur’an the acknowledge Muslims all that fact the except course, and of Islam’, ‘true on debate extensive the [6] up opens This day. a times five performed be to expected prayer ritual [5] The religion. a different adopting Islam is in fact fact in is Islam adopting that believed it widely is as to Islam, to converts to refer used term acommon is [4] Revert websites. of the names real or the pseudonyms their not I do use participants of the [3] identity the to protect order In 2010). Hussin and (Beyer parties interested the by signed is documentation necessary the all as long as proxy’ by ‘marriage as treated is marriage ‘online’ Such permissibility. of Islamic bounds the within remain still and chat video as such services Internet by facilitated be may of marriage act the [2] Similarly, numbers. in equaling almost Christians and Muslims with state amulti-faith being (78 million), Africa in population Muslim largest second the has Nigeria that fact the to due paper this in [1]addressed is study This Notes 380-395. 5(4): Behaviour of Consumer Website. Journal of aMatchmaking Context the in Negotiation Identity Islamic Hijab: the Mobilizing 2006. Chelariu Cristian and Detlev Zwick, yber C returning yber O rient, Vol. to the original religion, as opposed to merely to merely opposed as religion, original to the 5, Iss. 1, 2011 switching to to

89 Anna Piela